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Andrew’s Ratings & Analysis: Impact Wrestling Hard to Kill 1.12.2020

Impact Wrestling kicks off 2020 with a little wink to IWC comments. HARD TO KILL is here!!

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Impact Wrestling kicks off 2020 with a little wink to IWC comments. HARD TO KILL is here!!

To many people this is a one match PPV, Tessa Blanchard versus Sami Callihan is the marquee match of the event. Now most of us are aware of information that popped up for Tessa yesterday, so it adds a new layer of intrigue. Will that change the finish? Will it be acknowledged?

Of course there are other matches, like RVD and Brian Cage being a possible dream match. Eddie Edwards and Michael Elgin will be an great match and The North are always a pleasure to watch.

With everything we get on the card, it’s not really fair to let the specter of bad press bring down the excitement for the card. Let’s pocket the Tessa hatred for right now, and try to see what Impact gives us on this PPV.

 

Ratings:

  • Ken Shamrock vs Madman Fulton: Shamrock wins via Rings of Saturn @9:20 – ** 1/4
  • X Division Championship: Trey vs Ace Austin (c): Ace retains via The Fold @12:55 – *** 1/2
  • Knockouts Championship Triple Threat: Jordynne Grace vs ODB vs Taya Valkyrie (c): Taya retains via Grace Driver @11:40 – *** 1/4
  • RVD w/Katie Forbes vs Brian Cage: No Contest  – N/A
  • RVD w/Katie Forbes vs Daga: RVD wins via 5 Star Frog Splash @4:10 – **
  • Call Your Shot Trophy: Eddie Edwards vs Michael Elgin: Eddie wins via Sunset Flip Counter Cradle @19:55 – ****
  • NoDQ Match: Rhino vs Moose: Moose wins via No Jackhammer Needed @13:00 – ***
  • Tag Team Championship Match: The North (c) vs Willie Mack: The North retain via Argentine Backbreaker/Spinebuster Combo @10:35 – *** 1/2
  • Impact World Championship: Tessa Blanchard vs Sami Callihan (c): Tessa wins via Buzzsaw DDT @23:50 – **** 1/4TITLE CHANGE!!

 

Analysis:

Ken Shamrock vs Madman Fulton – Well this is interesting when you’ve got OVE’s monster against the World’s Most Dangerous Man. Both men got in solid offense, which we saw more amateur wrestling from Fulton. This match was slow and a little clunky at points, but the finish was cool. After fighting out of a Double Wristlock, we can see Fulton’s shoulder visibly dislocated or broken. He tells the referee not to stop it, uses his gear to sling the injured arm and wants to keep fighting. Shamrock manages to roll a pin attempts into the Rings of Saturn and Fulton taps out with his head. Gutsy performance from Fulton, be it legit or worked to a degree, it showed something we don’t usually see from Fulton.

X Division Championship: Trey vs Ace Austin (c) – We saw Ace use Trey’s mom and the whole situation to his advantage early on. Ace controlled things, until Trey managed to slip out and throw together a lot of good offense. Backflip kicks, Cheeky Nandos, Tiger Feints, Handsprings and that fairly unique low rope springboard Flatliner. But sadly for Trey, he wasn’t able to keep Ace down long enough to hit the Diving Meteora, and Ace used the ropes to his advantage. Crotching Trey, before going from the outside of the ring, back in, while flipping Trey off the turnbuckle, then hitting The Fold. Not sure where this leads for X Division challengers, but it was a solid match.

Knockouts Championship Triple Threat: Jordynne Grace vs ODB vs Taya Valkyrie (c) – So this match went the way we all kinda figured. It was a decent match where all three got in a good amount of offense, but it was mostly different versions of pairing off until towards the end. I appreciated the Modified Steinerizer that Grace and ODB pulled off, and Grace looked great in the match. By the way we all figured, I meant ODB ate the pin. Jordynne hit the Grace Driver, Bravo distracted the referee, Taya slipped into the pin after Grace confronted Bravo, and Bravo tripped her up so Taya could get the 1-2-3. Decent match, just a little awkward at times.

RVD w/Katie Forbes vs Brian Cage – The match started before the bell when RVD had his girlfriend’s girlfriend in the audience, to grab Cage and distract him when he was slapping hands during his entrance. RVD played the hits, Van Daminator, and Van Terminator, but I don’t think the bell ever rang. You could see visible tape on Cage’s inner bicep down to his forearm, so this could’ve been a good way to protect him. This could also be a way to just write him off TV since it’s being “reported” that he’s AEW bound. Daga came out to try and diffuse things, but an impromptu match happened.

RVD w/Katie Forbes vs Daga – RVD dominated a good portion of this match, until Daga caught an opening and sent RVD to the outside. Big Triangle Plancha gave Daga some momentum, but RVD rolled away from the corner, and then moved causing Daga to miss a Diving Footstomp. From this point, Katie got involved a little and RVD managed a fairly easy win with help from his girlfriend and her girlfriend. Looking forward to the live sex show/bong party in the middle of the ring.

Call Your Shot Trophy: Eddie Edwards vs Michael Elgin – These two are just great together. Elgin dominates for a good portion of time, but the Die Hard aspect of Eddie’s personality kicks in. Elgin throws him around outside, but Eddie just absorbs the punishment and tries to dish it back out. Chops, Lariats, Submission attempts, counter punching, this was a great match done in King’s Road style. Eddie couldn’t land the Boston Knee Party, but he used the momentum coming out of the Buckle Bomb to roll through the Elgin Bomb and pick up the surprise cradle victory. So Eddie keeps his trophy and opportunity to challenge any belt holder. This is also Elgin’s first pinfall loss in Impact. Great match.

NoDQ Match: Rhino vs Moose – This was a solid hardcore match. Rhino had some great power spots, one being when he caught Moose out of the air and Powerbombed him through a table. Just good brawling, set up good spots with chairs, and Moose protected his chances by pulling the referee in the way of the Gore, so it took time for a replacement to show up. After we get the new referee, Moose kicks out and catches Rhino with a few kicks and then No Jackhammer Needed gets us to the tag team match! Really not a bad match at all, just nothing overly fantastic. I did appreciate Moose wearing the Macho Man style attire.

Tag Team Championship Match: The North (c) vs Willie Mack – Unsure if Rich Swann’s injury is legit or kayfabe, but that turned this match into a Handicap match. The North got a little cocky, but also pulled off great tag team maneuvers. Alexander accidentally landed on Page’s shoulders which allowed Mack to hit a Doomsday Destroyer, wipe out Page on the outside and give us a very close near fall. Page pulls out the referee and tries to get DQ’d, but the referee is too smart to just throw out the match. Mack chases Page a little and takes on both members of The North. A few strikes exchanged until The North started rocking him with kicks and forearms. Alexander struggled to lift up Mack, which was great to the story of the match since Mack killed him with the Doomsday Destroyer. But one more tandem high impact move kept the titles on The North.

Impact World Championship: Tessa Blanchard vs Sami Callihan (c) – Early on, both competitors hit finishing moves Cactus Special and Magnum, but each person kicked out. We got a nice callback to the Slammiversary match with Tessa going for the triple dives, Sami catching the third and trying to bash her into the barricade, but Tessa Frankensteinered out of it. Sami tried to make a point, hit her with a fan’s drink, threw her knees first into a barricade and even Powerbombed her through a table, but she got up. After hitting Magnum on the apron (which is a terrible spot since she takes more damage landing on apron) there was a 10 count spot. Tessa was selling her knees well through the match, but took too long and was visibly a little late, but the referee didn’t count 10.

Aside from that obvious slip, the match was pretty solid. Tessa did great selling and firing up to challenge Sami, while Sami tried to keep his same level of violence and vile behavior…treating her equally. Both stories played well, and both kicked out of finishers again later in the match. This got a good amount of time, told a great story, and Tessa managed to catch Sami often enough, to daze him into setting up the Buzzsaw DDT and Tessa makes history!

 

Overall Score: 7/10

Well look at that, they went through with putting the belt on Tessa even amidst the whirlwind Twitter drama. Not downplaying the accusations, but let’s be honest, someone is always willing to dig up stuff on people in Twitter court. So it just gets old, super super old.

Anyway, the show was pretty entertaining and the matches were decent quality. With a bunch of the older talent winning in their matches, Eddie keeping the Call Your Shot trophy and Taya retaining, there’s not a lot of established challengers to look to for the near future. So in a sense, it’s a little exciting that this will be seemingly a fresh start.

If Brian Cage leaving is true, it’s really not a huge blow. I love Cage, don’t get me wrong, but his title reign was pathetic because of his injury so they already had to start focusing on other talent while he was mostly inactive for those 3 months. So it shouldn’t hurt Impact too much, but it’s a great boon for AEW since Cage gets a new start and he looks like a million bucks.

So let’s see where things go in 2020 with the first ever female World Champion!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

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Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.20.2025

Coming off a Sacrifice with a few moving pieces and mixed reception we get to see how iMPACT follows it up!

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We’re coming off Sacrifice with a couple really good matches (Tessa vs Lei & Mustafa vs Santana), some solid story implications with Nic Nemeth’s heel turn, Elegance Clique winning the Knockouts tags and having Meta-Four members show up to make a claim, and Mustafa adding really great heat at the end of his match with beer spot.

So while not everything was great wrestling, things were pretty logical. Now let’s see what we get moving forward.

Ratings:

  • Northern Armoury w/Eric Young vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – ** 1/4
  • Mustafa Ali vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Count Out – ***
  • Rosemary & Savannah Evans vs Xia Brookside & Lei Ying Lee: Lei wins via Thunderstruck – **
  • The System w/Lish vs Guitar Guys (Elijah & Joe Hendry): Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ** 3/4

 

Results:

Oh God, Masha comes out to talk. She has literally zero aura speaking English. Yes she needs to cut promos to get better, but hot damn is she a charisma vacuum. Thankfully Tessa cuts her off and gets a resoundingly negative crowd reaction but she looks like a complete snack in the casual black and glitter covered outfit. Tessa makes her claim, but it’s just a distraction and Jacy Jayne blindsides Masha. I do like this concept of using Tessa’s legit heat to steer into her being a heel gateway for NXT female wrestlers to attack. 

Santino comes out, scolds Jacy a little and says next week is Masha vs Jacy. He then runs down Tessa and bans her from ringside next week during their match. 

Northern Armoury w/Eric Young vs The Rascalz

We know I don’t find the Armoury jabronis interesting, so I refuse to learn their names as they’ll never amount to anything. 

Wentz and Trey get early tandem offense against Jabroni with hair, a few quick tags, PK kicks, Dropkicks, the loser children need to take short cuts and distract the referee poorly just to get an advantage. Very basic tandem offense from Jabronis with Arm Wringers into stomps and a near fall that means nothing. Bald dork has Wentz in a Rear Naked, but Wentz breaks out of it and pulls off the Back Handspring Knee Lift so he finally tags out, Trey comes in hot, Missile Dropkick kills bald, hair gets knocked off the apron, Rascalz go for a tandem spot but more cornball heel distraction tactics, it back fires on the loser squad, Rascalz with some locomotion corner offense. Mayu Launcher into a Spinebuster from Trey, Feed Em to the Lions and the Rascalz win with ease.

Post-Match, Armoury and EY surround Rascalz, but Ace runs down with a chair to make the save. 

Fir$t Cla$$ Penthouse, KC and AJ playing with the crowd who hates them. AJ calls the crowd “muy pobre”and Chavo walks out to a huge pop, then Frankie Kazarian even pops out. Oh Frankie is still bitter about 2012 when him and Daniels lost the tag titles to Chavo and Hernandez. Turns into a Trios Match next week, Chavo, Octagon & Laredo vs Kaz & First Class. 

Mustafa Ali vs Mike Santana

Santana charges immediately, Ali slides out but Santana dives after him and connects! The bell hasn’t even rung yet and Santana is sending Ali spilling over tables and equipment. Santana keeps beating his ass, asks the crowd “Should I kill this puto?” gets a big pop, Ali tries to slip the Brainbuster but Santana stays one step ahead. Santana thinks he’s the Rock and tells Ali his soul belongs to him, and Ali tries to run away into the ring, Santana catches him, the bell finally rings, and Ali manages a Frankensteiner for space, Santana powders and Ali connects with a Dropkick on the bad arm. Ali continues his first bits of offense just wrapping the bad arm against the ring post, throws Santana back in, Outside In Rolling Neckbreaker and then a Key Lock on the bad arm. Ali is slowly things down masterfully since he did eat a fast beating for the first few minutes.

The crowd fires Santana, he manages to Arm Drag out, connects with a Round Kick, looks for the Rolling Neckbreaker again but Santana catches him on his shoulders, Spicolli Driver. A few move counters from both, Ali tries a Victory Roll but Santana holds on and turns it into the Rolling Buck Fifty for a two count! Santana goes to the top rope for the Frog Splash, Ali powders, walks to commentary says he already won and he’s the addiction that Santana will never beat, and walks out into the crowd and allows himself to be counted out.

Clever wrinkle to set up a rubber match.

RYAN NEMETH TIME! OUR LITTLE BROTHER! Nic lost his voice or smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds before the show. A pretty stock standard heel promo claiming that the Nemeths were the reason for the TNA buzz a year ago and the Hardys show up late to take all the credit. Leon Slater also has zero aura and no speaking ability, but referring to Ryan as Nic’s “Bug Eyed Brother” was a little funny. Nic versus Leon is hinted at for next week but a brawl starts anyway and Nic Superkicks Leon after Leon takes out Ryan. 

Rosemary & Savannah Evans vs Xia Brookside & Lei Ying Lee

Xia calls out Savannah to start the match, a few overhand chops gives her some steam early, but she tries to charge, eats a Back Elbow, Savannah tags in Rosemary, and Rosemary barks at her to get some aggression out. Headscissors, into Broken Wings into a Snap DDT for two. Xia tags in Lei, Rosemary decides to tag out immediately, so Lei is trying to chip down the tree, but she catches a Round Kick and lands a Sitout Chokebomb for a near fall. Savannah puts her on the shoulders, Lei fights it off, but gets caught in the Samoan Drop anyway for another near fall. Savannah tags out in the heel corner but chokes Lei a little to get the referee’s attention so Rosemary puts her in the Upside Down, and then continues to isolate Lei. Splash in the corner into an Exploder Suplex for yet another two. A few Vader Hammers into a Sleeper Hold from Rosemary. The crowd tries to ramp up Lei, but Rosemary cuts off the comeback attempt, looks for a Heel Hook, but Lei kicks her off, gets stopped but eats an Enzuigiri.

Simultaneous tag and Xia is taking it to Savannah. Xia and Lei have some nice Tandem strikes, only two. Savannah grabs Xia, Rosemary tries to mist Xia, but Xia ducks and the mist hits Savannah. Lei knocks out Rosemary, attempts the TKO on Savannah but doesn’t get all of it, and apparently the Thunderstruck has been changed to a Spinning Heel Kick…and I hate it. Okay match with a bad finish.

ASH and Heather come out for their celebration with cake, nice dresses and bootleg Chippendales. But Meta-Four interrupts, thankfully. Jakara Snackson in the house! Spitfire also comes out, and I’m never mad at Dani. OH, Gigi Dolin and Tatum Paxley also. Business picked up…or something went up…yeah…this is good entertainment. And there was something for everyone with the Chippendales early and then 4 women’s teams. 

The System w/Lish vs Guitar Guys (Elijah & Joe Hendry)

Well at least they didn’t bring up Hendry 32 times during the show and still end on him. I’ve loved the gimmick since Day 1, but overdoing it is bad for anyone.

Myers and Hendry start, Myers tries to mouth off but Hendry pops him with a Slap, Scoop Slam, Arm Wringer, tags out to Elijah and Myers scatters to tag out. Elijah with a few Lariats and the Rope Walk with Elijah. Hendry and Elijah clear the ring as we go to commercial. When we get back I’m gonna guess the System will have magically won back the momentum through heel commercial tactics.

Holy wow! Hendry has Eddie in the Stalling Suplex and lands it! Somehow the heels weren’t winning, but Eddie does kick out at one. So Hendry tags out, Elijah a few Arm Wringers into a Double Duck Jumping Lariat. But now Lish mouths off and Eddie connects on a Sliding Dropkick. So they delayed the heel team taking over for right out of the break. Look at that, changing it up. Eddie throws Elijah into the steps, rolls him in, tags out and Myers goes for the Sleeper Hold slow down heel thing, then hits a Dropkick into choking him with his boot. Eddie tags in, choke on the ropes, Lish gets involved in the choke too, and System is staying in control. Quick tags galore have Elijah gasping for air and Hendry is getting frustrated.

Elijah finally manages something to tag out, Hendry hits the Sack of Shit Kip Up on Eddie, Myers tries a Crossbody but he’s caught into Sack of Shit and Kip Up, the turn around and now calling for the Standing Ovation. But Eddie takes out Elijah, Rolling Forearm from Eddie into a Spear from Myers for a near fall. Myers looks for Roster Cut, but Elijah picks the ankle, Hendry fights off Myers, but Eddie catches him. They want System Overload, but Hendry gets out of the Backpack Stunner, catches Myers with the goozle and Elijah keeps Eddie out of the picture. Standing Ovation and we’re done!

 

Overall Score: 5.5/10

Full transparency, this was an easy watch. It didn’t feel like two hours, but it also didn’t really accomplish much. A very empty calories show with a bunch of set up for next week. I will say I totally loved the Ali and Santana match and finish. Ali forcing an unsatisfying finish can’t have Santana feeling good about the “win”, and I love how he’s saying he’s the one addiction that Santana can’t beat. So if Ali gets re-routed to a different feud or two and Santana starts acting like an addict going through withdrawal and NEEDS a rubber match at Slammiversary, I think that would be great to acknowledge Ali’s intelligence, plays in the addiction thing without being overly insulting since it’s focusing on a metaphorical addiction and not making light of something more realistic.

So regardless, a very inoffensive show. Jacy Jayne, Meta-Four and Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley showing up makes the Knockouts Tag feel less pathetic. And of course, Chavo was fine, the Dom mention was hilarious and Kaz being so petty he still hates Chavo because of 2012 is a level of petty I wish I still had in me.

Tolerable show, but nothing really worth the two hours.

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