Cook’s Top 5: Nerds In Wrestling

Like 99.546903523% of the people that will read this column, Dustin Diamond was a fan of professional wrestling. He made some appearances on shows throughout the years, including an early episode of NWA: TNA & as one of the contestants on Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling.

Of course, he will always remembered for his role in the Saved By The Bell universe as Samuel “Screech” Powers, a well-meaning nerd that was always there for his best friend Zack Morris & was always in love with Lisa Turtle. Diamond’s life post-SBTB definitely had its ups & downs. More than anyone else on the show, he struggled to get out of the large shadow his character cast. His career would never reach the heights it did in the early 1990s, which led to a good amount of bitterness & resentment. This bitterness led to Diamond alienating himself from the rest of the SBTB cast, largely due to a book ghostwritten for him that cast the others in a bad light. Diamond was conspicuous by his absence for later cast reunions. Unfortunately, he won’t be able to be present for future ones, dying of lung cancer at the age of 44.

He made mistakes. We all do. Hopefully he was able to find some peace in the time he had on Earth, and if he wasn’t, hopefully he can find some now.

I can think of no better tribute to the man that brought life to one of the most popular & memorable nerds in television history than by listing the five best nerds in pro wrestling history.

5. Barry Horowitz

We didn’t really know much about Barry’s personality the first several years he was on WWE television. Mostly because he always lost. Dude got beat up by the best of the best until he finally scored a victory over Bodydonna Skip. Once that happened, and Horowitz found a little more success, we got to learn more about him.

Including the fact that he was a gigantic nerd. Big glasses. Buttoned up shirts. He even wore pocket protectors from time to time! While this character turn didn’t exactly send Horowitz to the top of the WWF, it made him stand out from other wrestlers at the time, who weren’t as keen to learn into their dorkiness. I mean, take a look at that mid-90s WWF roster and you’ll see a lot of dweebs & geeks that didn’t know they were dweebs & geeks. Horowitz owned his.

4. Jamison

1989 saw Bobby Heenan leave his spot as co-host of Prime Time Wrestling to host his own show, the Bobby Heenan Show. While Bobby’s show was short-lived, it certainly had a number of memorable moments. Some of them involved Bobby’s sidekick, a man by the name of Jamison that really didn’t have much to bring to the table. Which is pretty much why he was there, as Bobby was surrounded by people that didn’t have much to bring to the table.

Bobby’s show only lasted four weeks, but Jamison would still appear from time to time, most notably in the corner of the Bushwhackers. I heard they reunited not too long ago, maybe they’ll bring Jamison back for a show or two!

3. Kenny Omega

What was your favorite part of the @AEWGames announcement? Here's a scene we definitely enjoyed between @RefAubrey and @KennyOmegamanX 😂 #AEWGames pic.twitter.com/JoJqLvpTlb

— AEW Games (@AEWGames) November 11, 2020

Kenny is a different style of nerd than the others on this list, but he rightly belongs with the rest of the pack. Omega is a well-known video game nerd off-screen, and the gaming world is one of his biggest influences on-screen. Always has been. Back in the day he was using game-inspired moves. These days they have more of an influence on his entrance music selection & ring attire.

Even now that Kenny’s the AEW World Champion and trying to act like he’s above it all, the nerdiness still shines through. The type of clothing he wears outside the ring these days is the type of clothing that nerds would buy & wear if they had a little more self-confidence. Kenny thinks that stuff looks good.

2. Bob Backlund

It does not get much nerdier than Mr. Backlund. We’re talking about a man that even when he was young and obviously a talented wrestler, people called him “Howdy Doody” because he acted like a human version of the kids show puppet. As great as he was as an athlete, he was so awkward in his mannerisms. In later years, Backlund would rarely be seen without a bowtie & suspenders on, and he was always using big words & stressing the importance of education.

Bob Backlund was a nerd, but he wasn’t the kind of nerd you could pick on. We’ve seen that type in school too. Bullies keep messing with them & messing with them, and one day the kid just snaps and bullies the bully. Backlund snapped in 1994, and it’s tough to say he ever looked back.

1. Mankind

Think of WWF’s Attitude Era as Saved By The Bell for a minute. Of course, you have the most popular boy in school that’s always giving the principal problems, Zack Morris. For WWF purposes, Zack Morris is played by Stone Cold Steve Austin. Then there’s the cool, most talented athlete in school that doesn’t take any guff from anybody, A.C. Slater. The Rock is our Slater. So who does that leave as Screech? Obviously, that would be Mankind. While we wanted to be Rock or Austin, most of us were actually Mankind. Not as attractive, often underappreciated, but with plenty of good qualities that get noticed every once in awhile.

Mankind’s Lisa Turtle? Mr. McMahon. Mankind did everything he could to get Vince to like him, even dressing up in a corporate-style shirt & tie for several months at a time. Vince just wouldn’t go for it, though sometimes he would use Mankind’s love for him to his advantage. Now, Lisa never went to the extremes that Vince went, but I do recall a time or two where she used Screech’s love to her advantage.

Remember that episode where Zack & Lisa became an item? Regardless of any chemistry they might have had off-screen, people just didn’t buy it on-screen. It felt weird given all the history with Zack & Kelly and Screech & Lisa. Zack & Lisa as a couple was like Austin & McMahon joining forces. The only difference? SBTB gave up on Zack & Lisa after one episode, the WWF drug out Austin & McMahon for months.