The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 16

With Link busy settling things with Hilda and her henchmen, the HPW Goddess Championship main events! Will Zelda VS Oaky be a real gut check?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS ???; Lynel wins and retains the title.
• Link & Ganondorf VS Hilda & ???; Hilda & Yuga win.
• HPW Trios Championships: The uWo VS The Doom Bringers; The uWo wins and retains the titles.
• HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Oaky Treetoh; Zelda wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

After stopping by a geographical wonder in the Great Hyrule Forest, the action moves to a national tourist spot and location of historic moments! And in another instant classic moment, Gut Check Rock is the stage on which the Hero of Hyrule and Gerudo Ace team together for the first time! Link and Ganondorf both have scores to settle with Hilda and her henchmen, but who will she bring to the dance? Will it be The Artist, Yuga, who took and recolored Ganondorf’s prized boar headdress? Or will it be the crafty #Murusagi, Ravio, who has many, many tricks up his sleeve?

Then, after fighting in the Lost Woods and coming out victorious, the Doom Bringers look to, well, bring doom to the short reign of the UnderWorld Order! Doom Knocker, Darkhammer and Gooma made it through four other trios and are going to take on a very deadly trio, but will even doom die a painful death tonight? And while the Princess of Hyrule doesn’t see the Deku Princess, Oaky Treetoh, as a worthy opponent, Treetoh was still the one that won a Fatal 4 Way! Will Zelda prove the Wooden Idol has no power over the HPW Goddess Champion? HPW Gut Check Rock begins now!

HPW Death Mountain Championship: Gold Lynel VS ???

Another month, another HPW event and another open challenge issued by the One True Monster! But is there anyone willing to go up against such a beast just to stand on top of the mountain? Lynel paces as we all wait, and out walks FIN BALURE! The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla aims finger guns at Lynel, but can he take down prey this big?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and this is going to be one hell of an opener!

Fin gets Lynel with a SHOTGUN dropkick right at the bell! Lynel doubles over and fans fire up as Fin fires off hand! Lynel pushes Fin away but Fin kicks him back! And again! Lynel falls over! Fin goes to the apron and slingshots in to stomp Lynel in the side! Lynel kicks at Fin, gets back up, and Fin runs to forearm! Lynel stays up this time so Fin runs and hits another SHOTGUN dropkick! Lynel staggers about, Fin runs, SLING- NO! Lynel catches Fin for a BACKBREAKER! Lynel looms over Fin as he rolls out of the ring. Lynel goes out after him and TOSSES him into the apron! And then TOSSES him into the barriers! Lynel reels Fin into another BACKBREAKER!

Lynel refreshes the ring count while Fin writhes. Lynel clears off the announce desk before dragging Fin over! Lynel scoops but Fin slips out to shove Lynel into the corner of the table! And again! Fin bounces Lynel’s head off the desk, but Lynel knees back! Both men gasp and sputter as the ring count climbs. Lynel drags Fin up and in at 6 but has to take an extra moment for himself. Lynel climbs up, Fin gets Lynel with kicks and body shots in the ropes! Fin throws knees, but gets thrown into buckles! Lynel grits his teeth as he rams shoulders into Fin. Lynel backs off because of his gut, but he comes back to reel Fin in for another BACKBREAKER! It’s almost double-edged given the attack to Lynel’s stomach.

Fin crawls and Lynel stalks him. Lynel puts Fin in the corner for more shoulders, and then reels him in for a FOURTH BACKBREAKER! Lynel winces again as he stalks Fin, but walks into a knee, right into the gut! Fin runs, SLINGBLADE drops Lynel! Lynel gets up quick, though, and CLOBBERS Fin! Lynel catches his breath while Fin crawls to another corner. Fans rally as Lynel goes to deadlift, but his gut hurts and he hobbles back! Lynel tries again but he can’t manage the lift! Lynel stomps Fin then brings him up in the choke grip! Fin turns the choke slam into a DDT!! Cover, TWO!! But Finn doesn’t let up, he stomps that bad stomach! Double stomps on top!

Lynel crawls away and fans fire up behind Fin! Lynel’s on the outside, Fin WRECKS him with a dropkick! Fin builds speed to FLY! Direct hit but Fin doesn’t stop! Fin gets in and FLIES again! Another direct hit! Fin has Lynel reeling but Gut Check Rock is thunderous for another! So Fin FLIES again! That’s the hat trick! Fin gets back in and Lynel drags himself into a corner. Fin gives him a HESITATION DROPKICK! Lynel is in the drop zone, Fin hurries up top! Gut Check Rock is going nuts as Fin aims, COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, TWO!?! Fin is in shock, and gets caught in a RINGS OF SATURN!!

Fin is caught in the arm-killing submission and flails! Fin reaches, claws for ropes, but Lynel cranks back harder! Fin taps!! Lynel wins!!

Winner: Gold Lynel, by submission (still HPW Death Mountain Champion)

The Zora Prince put up a valiant effort, but the One True Monster still stands atop the mountain! Will anyone be able to stop Gold Lynel’s dominance in the ring?

Link & Ganondorf VS Hilda & ???

Don’t adjust your screens, you’re not seeing things! The Hero of Hyrule and the Gerudo Ace are going to be in a tag team match together, as a team! They both want to make Hilda, Yuga and Ravio pay for gaming the system! But which sidekick will Her Grace pick to face this powerful pair? All three go to the ring, and are they only now deciding this? Or are these last minute mind-games Hilda is playing? She finally chooses Yuga, and Ravio stays at ringside. The teams sort out, and of course Ganondorf wants to start against The Artist who stole his original headdress!

Fans rally up, though they aren’t really fans of either guy. Ganondorf and Yuga circle, they tie up, and Ganondorf powers Yuga to a corner. The ref counts, Ganondorf grinds his forearms into Yuga’s face, but he lets off at 4. Ganondorf smirks at Yuga as he waits for him to come out of the corner. They reset and go again, Yuga wrenches but Ganondorf rolls and kips up to then ROCK Yuga with a forearm! Yuga staggers back against ropes, uses them for defense, and the ref has Ganondorf stay back. Ganondorf gets annoyed as Yuga stays in the ropes as he goes to the open corner. Ganondorf storms over, but Yuga kicks his leg out!

Yuga bumps Ganondorf off buckles! And again! And again! But Ganondorf blocks the fourth, back elbows Yuga then bumps him off buckles! Ganondorf RAMS his shoulder into Yuga’s back, and again! The ref counts as Ganondorf digs his shoulder in, and Ganondorf lets off at 4. Ganondorf then ROCKS Yuga with a forearm! Fans do start to like that as Ganondorf whips Yuga corner to corner hard! Yuga bounces off buckles and hits the mat, and Ganondorf chuckle as he walks over. Ganondorf gives toying kicks and Yuga crawls to ropes. Ganondorf drags Yuga up and has him against the ropes as he ROCKS him with another forearm!

Yuga reaches for Hilda as he staggers over but Ganondorf turns him around to whip him into the other corner. Ganondorf runs in and corner clotheslines Yuga, Yuga sits down and Ganondorf stomps a mudhole into him! The ref counts, Ganondorf digs his boot in, but Link tags in at 4! Ganondorf is annoyed but Link drags Yuga out of the corner to hit a STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Link keeps Yuga from Hilda with a headlock and grinds Yuga down. Yuga endures, fights up, but Link shifts sides. Link goes after the arm, drags Yuga down and wants a Fujiwara Armbar! Yuga moves around, Hilda reaches out, and they’re just inches apart!

But Link floats and turns Yuga over for a ghost pin! TWO! Yuga turns around into Link’s SUPERKICK! Link reels Yuga in for a fireman’s carry, but Yuga flails to get free! Yuga shoves Link at ropes, then CLOBBERS him from behind on the rebound! Yuga tags Hilda, they drag Link up and double whip him to ropes. They double hip toss Link down, Yuga sits Link up and Hilda cartwheels, for a double basement dropkick sandwich! Hilda covers, TWO! Hilda hurries to tie up the legs! Link fights off Hilda’s dragon sleeper to avoid Her Royal Highness’ Matched Luggage, drags her down into a cradle, TWO! The two stand off and fans cheer.

Link and Hilda approach, feel out the grapple, and Link gets around to get a waistlock. Hilda resists the lift, throws elbows, then standing switches. They go to ropes, Hilda O’Conner Rolls, and bridges! TWO, and Link HOOK KICKS Hilda! Hilda wobbles, Link reels her in for a fireman’s carry, but then Ravio hops up on the apron to wave his banner! The ref reprimands him and tells him to get down, but Yuga gets in to save Hilda behind the ref’s back! Yuga kicks Link low, Ganondorf gets in just to run Yuga off, and then Ravio hops down. The ref sees Ganondorf, tells him to go back to the corner, and Ganondorf protests, pointing out what Yuga and Hilda were up to!

The ref counts, Ganondorf goes back to his corner, and Hilda CLUBS Link to her corner. Hilda stomps Link down, digs her boots in, then Yuga tags in. Hilda pushes off for a swinging dropkick, then rolls back while Yuga gets in. Yuga whips Hilda in for a hard basement dropkick! Yuga drags Link out to a cover, TWO! Yuga is frustrated, but he stands over Link. Yuga stomps Link’s leg, then his other leg, then ties the legs up. Link resists Yuga’s attempt at the Picture Frame, turns over and rolls to throw Yuga off the hold! Link goes to superkick but Yuga blocks and turns him around to get a SLEEPER!

Yuga brings Link around to the corner, Hilda tags in, and they mug Link in the corner. The ref counts, Yuga lets go, and Hilda clinches to throw knees into Link’s ribs. Hilda brings Link around, CLUBS him, then brings him into a Cobra Twist! Link endures, fans rally, but Hilda digs an elbow into Link’s ribs. Link reaches for Ganondorf, but Ganondorf doesn’t reach back?! Hilda laughs as she shifts to add a crossface to the twist! Link still endures, gets a leg free, and hip tosses Hilda off of him! Link staggers back, shakes out his arm, and heads for Ganondorf, but Hilda intercepts and trips him! Hilda anchors both feet, but Link still crawls for the corner!

Link reaches out again, but Ganondorf still doesn’t reach back! Fans boo Ganondorf and Link shoots him a “Seriously?” expression. Hilda reaches but she’s far too far away from Yuga. Link stares at Ganondorf, and Ganondorf grumbles as he finally reaches out in return! They make the tag! Hilda hurries away but Ganondorf gets in and drags her away from Yuga! Ganondorf drags her up, pops her up, and hits a GANON BOMB! But Yuga gets in and the ref is busy with him so he misses the cover! The ref and Yuga argue but Ravio slides in, a Ravio branded hammer at the ready! Ganondorf glares at Ravio and he stops in his tracks! Ganondorf steps and Ravio scrambles away!

Yuga and the ref stop arguing, Hilda crawls for the corner, but Ganondorf hurries after her. Ganondorf drags Hilda away, Hilda kicks at him but he holds on. Ganondorf rolls to get her up to a fireman’s carry! And then USHIGOROSHI! Cover, but Yuga rushes in to break it! Ganondorf gets up in a huff but Link rushes in to go after Yuga! Link throws Yuga out, but Yuga trips and drags Link out of the ring! Yuga RAMS Link into the apron, the ref reprimands Yuga, Ganondorf ignores all that and stalks Hilda to a corner. But Ravio gets in again! Ravio sneaks up right behind Ganondorf and SMACK! Ravio runs away while Ganondorf leans against ropes!

Yuga lets off of Link, the ref turns around to see Ganondorf hobbling, and Hilda tags out! Yuga rushes Ganondorf, CLUBS him on the back again and again, then reels him in for a facelock. Yuga hooks a leg, FISHERMAN SCREW! Cover, but Link breaks it! Fans fire up, Hilda rushes in and PENALTY KICKS Link! She drags him up to hammerlock an arm, but he slips out of Her Grace’s Crowning Achievement to shove Hilda into Yuga! Link aims but Yuga and Hilda get out of the way, the MASTER SWORD knee hits Ganondorf! Yuga reels Link in, he and Hilda hit Link with a BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER COMBO!

Fans boo as Hilda kicks Link out of the ring and Yuga gets Ganondorf back up. Yuga is alongside Ganondorf as he hooks the leg this time, and he hits a PAGE TURNER! Cover, Yuga and Hilda win?!?

Winners: Hilda & Yuga, by pinfall

Ravio waves the banner again, but the fans can’t believe it! Granted, Ravio had a part to play, but Her Grace & The Artist still found a way to defeat two of Hyrule’s best! Are these three going to turn the entire HPW landscape upside-down?

While Hilda and her henchmen leave, Link gets back in the ring to check on Ganondorf. Link tries to ask if he’s okay, but Ganondorf shoves him away. Ganondorf gets up and glares at Link. Ganondorf blames Link for the loss! If he’d just left it at breaking the pin, they’d’ve been just fine! Ganondorf doesn’t need a hero, and least of all Link! Ganondorf storms off, is this unlikely duo already done?

Something’s happening backstage!?

Cia and Lana are brawling! Why are these two even here? They weren’t scheduled for anything tonight! Lana has the advantage as she hammers and clubs Cia, but Cia shoves Lana into a road case! Cia bounces Lana off the case over and over, then drags her by her hair down the hall! Lana kicks and flails, Cia sits Lana up to give KICK after KICK into Lana’s back! It’s like Kowata Kicks into Lana’s spine! Cia drags Lana back up by her hair and throws her over tables with a lot of random stuff on them! Cia shouts “You just HAD to get in my way!” as she storms around the table. Lana flounders up and Cia KICKS her in the side!

Cia grabs an extension cable left on the table and uses it to CHOKE Lana! “STOP GETTING IN MY WAY!!” Security and referees finally show up, they shout at Cia to stop while trying to pry her hands off the cord. Cia gets mad at the security, but Lana is set free. Security drags Cia away as Lana sputters and gasps for air. Cia kicks and thrashes, and gets free! Cia runs up and CLOBBERS Lana into referees! Lana kicks back but Cia stomps her in the legs. Cia drags Lana back up, shoves her down the hall, and they’re right by gorilla position! HPW General Manager and King of Hyrule, Nicolas Foolyere, is there and shouting at them to stop, but Cia tells him to shut up!

Security and referees catch up, the Doom Bringers are nearby and Doom Knocker asks, “What the hell is going on? We’ve got our match next!” Cia tells them to shut up, and for security to not touch her, but Lana turns her around to BLAST her with a forearm! Cia falls onto Foolyere’s desk, but Lana gets her up and drags her out to the stage! Fans go nuts getting to see this with their own eyes as Lana pushes Cia down the ramp. Cia tumbles, but flounders up and scrambles away from the ring. Lana hurries after and they fight through the crowd! Lana clubs Cia towards the back row, fans are fired up that they’re getting this close to the action, and wait, they’re heading towards THE Gut Check Rock!

Cia rushes for Gut Check Rock, and tries to climb it! Like the Gut Rock Challenge of old! Lana grabs at Cia but Cia kicks her away to climb up higher! Lana has no choice but to climb up after her. Cia sees that, and starts climbing sideways! There’s a plateau jutting out so Cia goes to it. Cia sees there’s no easy way down, and turns around to see Lana has joined her on the plateau! They stare down and fans chant, “F her up, Lana, F her up!” *clap clap*, only they don’t censor themselves. The fists start flying and fans go nuts! Lana gets the edge with forearm after forearm, powers up with a yell, but Cia SLAPS her first! Lana seethes and fans are chanting, “Beat Her Ass! Beat Her Ass!”

Lana slowly turns to glare at Cia. Cia is suddenly apologetic, but Lana TACKLES her OFF THE PLATEAU!! They fall 22 FEET and SPLASH into the hot spring water below! Fans lose their minds, “HOLY S***! HOLY S***!” and luckily both Lana and Cia sputter back to the surface. Security, referees, and even COO Humpback Hook Halibut storm over! The security get the ladies out of the water and keep them apart, with Hook between them all. He shouts that they are going to stop now or both be suspended for 90 days! Lana stands down but Cia shouts that she’ll just get Lana later. Hook says she won’t or else she’ll be suspended indefinitely, along with legal charges brought up.

Hook offers the two incentive to not fight until HPW’s July event, which he reveals here is at neighboring SKULL LAKE! Lana and Cia will be fighting in HPW’s first-ever SKULL LAKE STREET FIGHT!! No disqualifications, no count-outs, and you either win by pin, submission or falling into Skull Lake itself! Fans like the sound of that, and both Lana and Cia leave, Cia still shouting at her sister. Will the Skull Lake Street Fight be the end of the fight between them? Will it be the end of someone’s wrestling career?

HPW Trios Championships: The uWo VS The Doom Bringers!

After that wild scrap we just saw, things are back on track! The Triforce Anniversary saw Forged By Violence be taken down by a new order of dominance, but their moment was ruined by the rest of the Trios Division. Doom Knocker, Darkhammer and the menacing minotaur were the only ones to get out of the Lost Woods, but will they survive the dark places they and the UnderWorld Order are about to go?

As the champions make their entrance, the challengers exit the ring! Knocker, Hammer and Gooma stand off with Hollywood ReDead, Gomess and Death Sword. “You’ve got weapons, WE’VE got weapons! Now what?!” The fans fire up as the tension mounts, and the trios rush each other! Death Sword swings his, well, sword at Gooma! Gooma manages to bob ‘n’ weave, swings his ax, but Death Sword dodges, too. Hammer is building up momentum with his ball ‘n’ chain as Knocker swings his spiked mace at Gomess and ReDead! “Get outta here, ya stupid bats!” Gomess and his bats jump back, Knocker swings on ReDead.

ReDead blocks with shield, pushes Knocker’s mace away, but Knocker swings again and ReDead blocks with his sword! Knocker keeps swinging, ReDead reaches over with the shield to block but not as strongly. ReDead spins his sword around to back hand slash but Knocker gets back! Knocker jumps for more momentum in his down swing but ReDead again blocks with his shield, using both hands! Death Sword swings again, Gooma uses his ax to block! Gomess swings his scythe, staring Hammer down. Hammer slings his ball at Gomess, Gomes jumps up and lands in front of Hammer! Hammer ducks to avoid the scythe’s blade!

Hammer then reels the ball in, Gomess leaps out of the way again but Hammer catches the iron ball, spinning with the momentum! Gooma pushes Death Sword back, ReDead pushes Knocker away, and the trios are in a new stand off! The fans are thunderous for that exchange, and the trios decide to have the regularly scheduled wrestling match. They all put their weapons aside, enter the ring, and the proper introductions are made. The belts are raised, Hammer starts with Death Sword, and we see who has the heart of a champion!

Death Sword and Hammer circle, fans build to a rally, and the two tie up. They go around the ring, Hammer puts Death Sword on the ropes and referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts the ropebreak. Hammer lets off slowly, but Death Sword gets him with a choke grip! The ref reprimands but Death Sword lifts, but Hammer fights off the choke slam. Hammer breaks Death Sword’s grip, throws forearms, then whips. Death Sword reverses and elbows Hammer, but Hammer stays up as he staggers back against ropes. Death Sword chokes Hammer on those ropes! Sahasrahla counts, Death Sword lets off at 4, and he argues with Sahasrahla so Gomess can get a cheap shot in!

Fans boo but the uWo gets away with it as Death Sword brings Hammer around to scoop. Death Sword hits SNAKE EYES of the uWo corner, and Gomess tags in as Death Sword runs side to side. Gomess gets out of the way as Death Sword runs in for a HELLUVA KICK! Death Sword keeps Hammer up for Gomess to slingshot sunset flip and high stack cover, TWO! Gomess keeps between Hammer and the Doom Bringers and wraps on a facelock. Knocker and Gooma coach Hammer while fans build to another rally. Hammer fights up but Gomess CLUBS him down. Gomess cranks the facelock and tries a suplex, but Hammer holds it off.

Gomess throws knees, CLUBS Hammer more, and tries again. He gets Hammer up but Hammer flails to further resist. Hammer throws body shots, Gomess knees low again, and hooks for a SIDE LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO! Gomess wraps on a chinlock and he squeezes tight. Hammer endures as Gomess leans on him, and fans build to another rally. Hammer fights his way up and hits a JAWBREAKER! Gomess staggers back but ReDead tags in! ReDead goes past Hammer to BLAST Gooma off the apron and DECK Knocker! ReDead goes back to Hammer, but Hammer gets him in a clinch! Hammer lifts but ReDead throws elbows to fight off the belly2belly suplex!

ReDead throws forearms and backs Hammer down. ReDead shoves Hammer to the uWo corner, stomps a mudhole into him, then digs his boots into Hammer while shouting, “AAAAAH’M THA MAAAAN~!” Sahasrahla counts, ReDead stops at 4 and tags Gomess back in. Gomess mockingly asks Hammer what happened to his tag partners, then drags him to an elbow drop. Cover, TWO, but Gomess is back to the chinlock. Hammer endures while fans boo the uWo, but ReDead soaks up the heat. Gomess drags Hammer back to the corner with the chinlock, Death Sword tags in, and Gomess drags Hammer to the apron where both wrestling reapers start hammering away on him!

Sahasrahla reprimands and counts, but Gomess lets off. Death Sword gets up on the apron, for a GUILLOTINE LEG DROP! Death Sword drags Hammer to a cover at center, TWO! Hammer stays in this and keeps the Doom Bringers alive. Death Sword gets Hammer’s legs, and stomps him in the stomach! Death Sword digs his foot in before working to turn Hammer over. Hammer fights the Sand Crab, Gooma gets in the ring but Sahasrahla keeps him back! But Knocker trips Gomess off the apron! And RAMS him into railing! ReDead rushes Knocker and they brawl! Sahasrahla has his hands full now as he shouts at ReDead and Knocker! And Death Sword is distracted enough for Hammer to BOOT him away!

Hammer gets up, hot tag to Gooma! Gooma SPLASHES Death Sword in the uWo corner! Gooma hoists Death Sword up top, climbs up to join him, but Death Sword resists the superplex. Death Sword throws body shots, Gooma hits back and they brawl up top! Gomess returns, tags in off Death Sword, and gets in to grab at Gooma. Gooma fights with Gomess but Death Sword ROCKS him with a right hand! Gomess gets Gooma up in an Electric Chair, Death Sword adjusts, DOOMSDAY DEVICE! Death Sword RAMS Hammer off the apron, but Knocker RAMS ReDead into commentary! Gomess covers Gooma, but Knocker gets in and breaks it!!

Death Sword rushes Knocker, but Knocker dumps him out of the ring! Knocker goes out to the apron and CANNONBALLS Death Sword down! But he turns around into ReDead’s SPEAR! ReDead goes around the way and sees Hammer staggering up. ReDead runs at Hammer, for a SPEAR! Fans boo as ReDead shouts right at them, “AAAAAH’M THA MAAAAAN!” Back in the ring, Gomess drags Gooma up, for a DANGEROUS SAIDO! Gomess fires up as fans boo even harder, and as Gooma staggers back up, Gomess reels him in for another DANGEROUS SAIDO! Gooma flounders and his eyes are glazed over!

Sahasrahla checks with Gooma as he staggers up to his feet, and Gooma pushes past Sahasrahla, into Gomess’ FLAT LINER! Cover, TWO!! Gooma survives and shocks Gomess! Gomess gets in Gooma’s face and shouts, “You think you can defy death?! Everybody dies!” Gomess rains down furious fists from all sides, but Sahasrahla reprimands about the closed fists. Gomess stomps Gooma, drags him over, and ReDead tags in. The uWo mugs the minotaur, then ReDead scoops and SLAMS him down. ReDead soaks up all the heat, then runs to ropes, but Gooma avoids the leg drop! ReDead clutches his tailbone while fans fire up! Gooma crawls, but his teammates still aren’t back!

ReDead is very dramatic about landing on his ass but he manages to get up and tag Gomess back in. Gomess hurries to get Gooma’s leg and drag him back. Gomess hammers away on Gooma’s back, sits him up and runs, but Gooma ducks under the sliding lariat! Gooma hurries for his corner now that Knocker’s back! Gomess hurries to get at Gooma as he and Knocker reach out! Gomess jumps over Gooma to get in between them and KICKS Gooma in the chest! Knocker swipes at Gomess, Sahasrahla reprimands, and Gomess glares at Knocker, but he turns around, “OH SHI-” as Gooma hits a leaping back elbow into the corner! Knocker tags in and the fans erupt!

Knocker runs corner to corner but slides to a stop to flip the uWo off! Knocker runs back in, Gooma moves aside and Knocker back body blocks Gomess! Gooma runs at the uWo but they get away as he swipes at them. Knocker snapmares Gomess, Gooma runs back over to BASEMENT SPLASH! Knocker adds a back senton and covers, but he gets up as ReDead gets in and the two start brawling again! Sahasrahla reprimands but Death Sword and Gooma start brawling! Knocker CHOPS ReDead and he bails out! Death Sword DECKS Gooma, but he turns around into Knocker’s CHOP! Death Sword HEADBUTTS back!

Death Sword whips, Knocker reverses and Hammer trips Death Sword up! Hammer drags Death Sword out of the ring, throws haymakers, then reels Death Sword in for a fireman’s carry, BALL ‘N’ CHAIN to the ramp! Knocker gets Gomess up, reels him in, but then the lights go out?! Well, this is an open air arena, so there’s still some light from the setting sun. Someone else is getting in the ring, and they CLOBBER someone! But who is who!? The lights come back up, and Knocker staggers around! Gomess is up, he runs to hit Knocker with a DISCUS LARIAT!! Cover, the UnderWorld Order wins!!

Winners: The uWo, by pinfall (still HPW Trios Champions)

What in the world just happened?! Who turned the lights off and who ambushed Knocker? Was it someone working with the UnderWorld Order? Or just someone who doesn’t like Knocker? Either way, the uWo continues on as champions, and they’re rubbing it in the fans’ faces. Will the uWo make this the Summer of the Undead by any means necessary?

HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Oaky Treetoh!

The Princess of Hyrule doesn’t think the pop star belongs in the ring, but she kept it civil when the Wooden Idol’s own fans weren’t. Will Zelda prove herself right with actions rather than words? Or will Oaky-chan go from the cutest idol in the world the cutest champion in the world?

Wait, who are these people making an entrance with Treetoh? Since when does she have an entourage? They’re waving banners that read, “The Oaky Treetoh Super Fan Club.” They do background dancing while she sings her entrance song! They even have green and pink glowsticks, Treetoh’s favorite colors. Treetoh finishes her singing as she reaches the end of the ramp, and her super fans become her steps into the ring! Even though there are still steel steps at the corner… Treetoh walks on her fans and into the ring to finish her entrance.

Zelda makes her entrance with far less fanfare despite being the champion, and she stares down Treetoh. Treetoh’s fans boo Zelda but she tunes them out. The introductions are made, the title is raised, and for the second time in HPW history, the Women’s Division main-events!

Treetoh’s fans are of course cheering strongly for her, doing their best to drown out the Zelda fans in the front row. Zelda and Treetoh circle, approach, and tie up. Zelda has height on her side and she pushes Treetoh into a corner. Referee Maron Ronron counts the ropebreak, Zelda lets off at 2, but keeps her eyes on Treetoh, daring her to do something just with that glare. Treetoh’s fans cheer her on with, “Oaky-chaaan~! Oaky! Okay-chaaan~!” and she walks out of the corner and steps up to Zelda. Treetoh’s face to, well, chest, with Zelda, and Zelda literally looks down on Treetoh. Treetoh winds up, but STOMPS Zelda’s foot! Zelda seethes as Treetoh digs her foot in and even does a dance!

Maron reprimands, Treetoh steps off to actually throw that haymaker now! Zelda throws a KICK to Treetoh’s leg. Zelda KICKS it again and Treetoh hobbles. Zelda Question Mark Kicks, but Treetoh’s hard head hurts Zelda’s leg! Treetoh laughs at Zelda then waistlocks. They go to ropes, Zelda bucks Treetoh off, then Zelda cartwheels to get behind her. Wait, she hasn’t done this since before we knew she was Sheik! Zelda waistlocks and gets Treetoh up for a back suplex! Bridging cover, TWO! Zelda also hasn’t done that in a long time, either. Treetoh’s fans boo as Zelda stalks Treetoh to a corner.

Zelda gets Treetoh up, double knuckle locks and monkey flips her! Zelda rolls back, still holding the knuckle locks, and sits Treetoh up! Treetoh screams as she narrowly avoids the Light Arrow! And she keeps screaming even as she rolls Zelda up! TWO, and Treetoh stops screaming as she scrambles away to ropes. The fan club is there to coach her, but Zelda slingshots out to the apron. The super fans back up, but Zelda slingshots back in to SPLASH Treetoh on the back! Another pre-Sheik-reveal move! Zelda drags Treetoh to a cover, TWO! Zelda keeps her cool as she looms over Treetoh while the super fans regroup and boo again.

Zelda drags Treetoh up and whips her hard to a corner! Treetoh bounces off buckles and hits the mat. Zelda waits on Treetoh to get back up, then runs in to sunset flip Treetoh into buckles! Zelda drags Treetoh back to a cover, TWO! Treetoh is proving tough but Zelda keeps her cool. Zelda gets one of Treetoh’s legs, KICKS it, YANKS it, then drops a leg on the leg before tying the legs up. Treetoh grabs at Zelda as she resists, but Zelda CHOPS her down! Zelda finishes and has the BUTTERFLY DEATHLOCK! Treetoh endures as Zelda puts pressure on the legs, but her shoulders are down to make it a cover! TWO as Treetoh sits up, but Zelda CHOPS her back down!

Treetoh’s shoulders are down again, TWO as she sits up again, and Zelda CHOPS her back up! TWO as Treetoh sits up and she gets Zelda’s head! Treetoh drags her down to a cradle, TWO!! Zelda barely escapes because of her own Butterfly Deathlock getting in the way! Treetoh’s super fans are going nuts about the count, and things speed up as Treetoh ducks and dodges Zelda. Treetoh tilt-o-whirls and arm-drags Zelda, but Zelda is right back up! Treetoh runs in, Zelda dodges but Treetoh stops from hitting buckles. Zelda schoolgirl rolls Treetoh for a KICK from the mat! A third pre-reveal move! Is Zelda doing this just to prove Treetoh isn’t on her level?

Zelda stalks Treetoh, then reels her in for the off-hand half nelson! REQUIEM OF SPIRIT! The half nelson back suplex returns! High stack, TWO!! Treetoh is much tougher than anyone ever knew! Well, except for her super fans, it seems, as they’re not shocked but are still fired up! Zelda is growing frustrated, so she’s going to the corner! And climbing up! Another thing she hasn’t really done since the days of Sheik and Zelda being different people in our heads. But as she reaches the top, the super fans get up on the apron! Maron reprimands but the distraction to Zelda was enough! Treetoh runs over, gets up to the top, and HEADBUTTS Zelda! Zelda teeters on the top rope but holds on!

Treetoh sits Zelda back up and asks, “Who’s the cutest in the world~?” Her super fans reply, “OAKY-CHAN~!” Treetoh then rains down hands on Zelda! She gets all 10, then SUPER STEIN- NO! Zelda holds onto ropes and Treetoh tumbles off the Steiner! Treetoh staggers back up as Zelda adjusts, METEORA! Fans fire up except Treetoh’s super fans. Treetoh staggers up to her feet, Zelda fires off a strike fest! Leg kick, middle roundhouse, sobat and ENZIGURI, the BOLERO OF FIRE! Then Zelda reels Treetoh in for swing into the SERENADE OF WATER SIDE SLAM! Cover, TWO, but Zelda hooks Treetoh’s arms with her legs and has a facelock at the same time! NOCTURNE OF SHADOW!!

Treetoh endures, her super fans shout for her to not give up, but Zelda pulls back harder on the hold! Treetoh taps, Zelda wins!

Winner: Zelda, by submission (still HPW Goddess Champion)

Treetoh couldn’t sing Zelda a lullaby, and the Princess of Hyrule is still the champion! Zelda is given both the belt to hold up high, and then a mic to speak. “So I’m pretty sure we all saw what happened earlier tonight. Cia and Lana are going to go to the extreme to settle their sibling rivalry next month. I look forward to it. And while I don’t make matches, I will say that the winner of that should meet me at the August event this year. For one, I always like putting Cia in her place. And two, if Lana beats the crap out of Cia, then she’s more than worthy of a shot.” The Princess, nay, the GODDESS has spoken! Who survives Skull Lake to have a golden summer?

My Thoughts:

Yes, I copy-pasted Balor VS Lesnar from a few Royal Rumble PPV’s ago, but duh, Gold Lynel is HPW’s Lesnar, except that he likes to compete more. Hilda’s team winning helps extend things through the summer, and there are plenty of contenders for the uWo to take on, you can bet on that. Lana and Cia have needed something to get their feud going so I just figured they’d randomly show up, with Cia implying Lana got in the way of her going after the Goddess Champion. And I like to think, with just over seven paragraphs, Treetoh had a good enough showing while still losing to Zelda. I got the idea to use Ocarina of Time song names for moves Zelda is bringing back as I was writing it. Still not sure what moves Minuet of Forest and Prelude of Light should be, obviously.