Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (7/17/21)
Cuz it’s the Slam Jam!
The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 17
Summer is only heating up in Hyrule, but taking a dip in Skull Lake means defeat! Will Cia leave Lana behind to head back for the HPW Goddess title?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Eventide Island Challenge Battle Royal: Riju, Ghirahim, Midna, Master Stalfos, Hilda & “Kage” qualify for the Treasure Island 2 Eventide Challenge.
- HPW Triforce Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ganondorf VS Yuga; Yuga wins and will challenge Link for the title at Treasure Island 2.
- HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Skull Lake Street Fight: Cia VS Lana; Lana wins and will challenge Zelda for the title at Treasure Island 2.
PLAY BY PLAY
HPW and HXS TV set the scene!
Another iconic venue becomes the turning point towards a return to Eventide Island! But before all the titles in HPW can be on the line, they need contenders! And after frustration after frustration, the Gerudo Ace is going to hit two birds with one stone! Ganondorf will not only look to settle the score with The Artist, Yuga, for cheating him in the Triforce Tournament and taking his boar headdress, he wants to get back to the Triforce Championship! Will Link have yet another rematch with Ganondorf? Or will it be a rematch from all the way back a year ago in the first Triforce Tournament?
Speaking of rematches, things have escalated quickly with the estranged sisters, Cia and Lana! They look to put this behind them in HPW’s first ever Skull Lake Street Fight! Pinfall, tap-out or splashdown, someone loses and is left behind as the other steps up to Zelda on Treasure Island! But first, since HPW is returning to Eventide, the Eventide Challenge is returning, too! And out of a 20 Person Battle Royal, the last six will be this year’s Eventide Challenge participants! Who will be the unlucky fourteen to fail? HPW Skull Lake starts now!
Eventide Island Challenge Battle Royal!
A date with destiny awaits a select few! Ravio, Hilda, Riju, Bularia, Aveil, Doom Knocker, Darkhammer, Gooma, Garo Master, Master Kohga, Master Stalfos, The Great Fairy, Ghirahim, Fin Balure, Oaky Treetoh (with her Super Fan Club ringside), and Midna make their entrances, with The Dark Forces entering last. Wait, do the Dark Forces have a new member? Volga, Wizzro and Gibdo are joined by someone wearing an all black outfit, and even a black mask. But judging from the pointy ears and lean physique, it’s a Hylian male. Will this mysterious masked wrestler help the Dark Forces improve their odds?
The bell rings, and the Dark Forces’ new member DECKS Ravio! Chaos breaks out all around as everyone pairs off and brawls! The Doom Bringers rush the rest of the Dark Forces, Midna goes after Hilda, Ghirahim trades CHOPS with Fin, the Desert Flowers square off with the Three Masters, and Treetoh’s fans are angry with The Great Fairy as she scoops the Wooden Idol! Treetoh flails free and kicks Fairy’s leg. Treetoh HEADBUTTS Fairy, shoves her at the ropes, but she doesn’t quite have the height to get Fairy up and over. Fairy kicks Treetoh away into Kohga, and that distracts Kohga enough for Riju to waistlock for a GERMAN SUPLEX!
Doom Knocker CLUBS away on Volga but the mystery man KICKS him in the leg! Volga gets space to BOOT Knocker but Knocker stays up! The mystery man hits a BLINDSIDE ROLLING ELBOW on Knocker! Volga and the mystery man both shove Knocker at the ropes! Knocker tumbles up and over, but he holds onto the ropes! Volga goes after Knocker’s hands but Darkhammer goes after him to save Knocker! The mystery man goes after Hammer now with big haymakers! Ravio finally gets back up with no one having gone after him, but as Bularia dodges Stalfos’ boot, it hits Ravio! Stalfos is a bit surprised by that, and that distracts him so Bularia can CLOBBER him!
Wizzro jumps onto Hammer to help Volga and the mystery man and the three mug him against ropes. Knocker drags Wizzro off Hammer’s back and KNEES him hard and low. Knocker scoops Wizzro and aims for ropes, but Wizzro wriggles free and rakes Knocker’s eyes! Knocker swings blindly, and Wizzro baits him into running into Hammer! The mystery man SUPERKICKS Knocker out of the way so that Gibdo can clothesline Hammer up, out and ELIMINATE him! What a surprising first elimination! The Dark Forces then go after Knocker 4v1, but Gooma gets in to throw hands on Wizzro.
Garo whips Aveil to ropes but Aveil reverses. Garo springboards to QUEBRADA, but Aveil gets under! Garo lands on his feet, Aveil springboards now and she CROSSBODIES Garo down! Aveil gets Garo up but he throws body shots as she brings him towards ropes. Ghirahim and Fin have stopped chopping, and their chest flesh will thank them. Ghirahim KICKS Fin in the leg, Fin ROCKS Ghirahim with a forearm! Ghirahim KICKS again, Fin ROCKS Ghirahim again! Fin eggs Ghirahim on and Ghirahim grits his teeth. Ghirahim feints a kick to THROAT JAB Fin! Fin sputters, Ghirahim whips him at ropes! Ghirahim arrogantly doesn’t watch Fin go up and over, and doesn’t see Fin hold on!
Fin gets back in, Ghirahim turns around, and he gets a SLINGBLADE! Fin stomps and kicks Ghirahim then gets him up to push him towards ropes. Ghirahim holds on desperately as Fin hammers and kicks him. Meanwhile, Riju and Aveil have traded, and Aveil wraps Kohga’s leg around a rope and pulls on it. Garo kicks but Riju ducks under it to BACK HAND! Riju shoves Garo to ropes but he rolls back. Riju blocks his headscissors and KICKS his arm out! Garo falls on his face, and Riju AX KICKS him down! Meanwhile, Bularia and Stalfos are tied up collar ‘n’ elbow. They go around and around in the same corner, until Bularia reels him in for a BUCKLE SHOT!
Ravio staggers up again, fixing his bunny mask while he’s at it. He sees Midna pushing Hilda against buckles in a corner and he hurries over. Ravio pulls Midna away from Hilda but Midna CHOPS him! Hilda pulls Midna’s hair but Midna elbows her hard! Ravio jumps onto Midna’s back for a sleeper! Submissions might not win things but this could make it easier! Midna RAMS Ravio into buckles, but he holds on! Hilda rushes back in but Midna BOOTS her away! Midna runs and BACKPACK SENTONS Ravio! Ravio lets go, Midna drags him up, and as Hilda runs back over, Midna shoves Ravio into her! Hilda goes down, Midna gets Ravio up again and TOSSES him out to ELIMINATE him!
Hilda realizes she’s alone and panics a bit. Midna chases her but she scrambles away. Hilda weaves through the Dark Forces but Midna knocks them aside. Gibdo goes after Midna but she ROCKS him with a right! Hilda jumps onto Midna, trying for a sleeper of her own, but Hilda throws her down! Wizzro rushes Midna but she BOOTS him down! Midna CHOPS Volga, and ROCKS the mystery man! But then she turns around into Hilda’s SHOTGUN dropkick! Meanwhile, Ghirahim has turned things around on Fin and chokes him on the ropes! There are no disqualifications so Ghirahim doesn’t have to let off, either! Fin is fading out! Ghirahim drags him up, throws him over, Fin hits the floor, Ghirahim ELIMINATES him!!
Ghirahim gloats as Fin gets up in a daze and staggers about. But then Ghirahim turns around into Volga’s forearm smash! Volga and Wizzro stomp Ghirahim but Ghirahim holds onto the bottom rope again. Knocker and Hammer go after Volga and Wizzro, and Ghirahim crawls into a corner. Hammer TOSSES Wizzro into a different corner and fires off body shots. Knocker ROCKS Volga, the mystery man SUPERKICKS Knocker! Volga whips, Knocker reverses, but Volga holds ropes. Knocker runs at him but Volga goes up and over, and Knocker slides under! Knocker trips Volga up, drags him out of the ring and then RAMS him into the railing!
Knocker says “Loophole!” before he CHOPS Volga! But then the mystery man DIVES and hits Knocker into the railing! And since he went between ropes, he’s safe, too! Volga and the mystery man mug Knocker, Gibdo knocks Gooma over so he can’t go help. Bularia is after Garo Master now while Riju stomps away on Stalfos in a corner. Bularia fires off slapping palm strikes over and over on Garo, then spins, but into an ENZIGURI from Garo! Garo half nelsons, spins Bularia and pump handles, GARO DRIVER! Garo gets Bularia up and throws her out to ELIMINATE her! Aveil and Riju let off Kohga and Stalfos to go after Garo together, but that leaves them vulnerable!
Kohga and Stalfos CLOBBER Aveil and Riju from behind! Kohga and Garo hammer away on Aveil’s back, Stalfos CLUBS Riju, and then the Three Masters throw both Aveil and Riju up and over! Wait, they both hold on! Bularia is there to boost them back up and in! Riju headscissors Garo and Aveil headscissors Kohga! They’re both on the ropes, Aveil and Riju duck and dodge Stalfos to DOUBLE TIGER FEINT Kohga and Garo! Garo and Kohga stagger up and Stalfos regroups with them, to get DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICKS from Riju and Aveil! Fans fire up as Aveil and Riju get Garo up, throw him out and ELIMINATE him! Bularia cheers as her friends avenge her!
Meanwhile, Knocker fights off the Dark Forces. He ROCKS the mystery man and bounces Volga off the apron. Wizzro grabs at Knocker through the ropes but Knocker ROCKS him with an uppercut! Hammer hauls Wizzro up onto his shoulder and LAWN DARTS him into buckles! Wizzro staggers and Hammer clotheslines him out of the ring to ELIMINATE him! Knocker mocks Wizzro but they mystery man CLOBBERS Knocker from behind! Volga bumps Knocker off the apron and gets on the apron to GAMANGIRI Hammer away. Gooma runs in but Volga shoulders into him! Volga slingshots up and over Gooma, gets around Hammer, and shoves them into each other.
Volga gets Hammer with DDT while the mystery man holds the ropes and dumps Gooma out! Gooma stays on the apron, he and the mystery man brawl on the edge. Knocker gets in the ring from the side and he BOOTS Gibdo! Volga leaps but Knocker catches him! Knocker heads for the ropes, Gooma and the mystery man get clear, and Knocker throws Volga over! Volga hangs on, swings on Knocker but Knocker avoids it and spins. The mystery man blocks Knocker’s back hand! And gets Knocker in a HANGING TRIANGLE HOLD! Gooma tries to help Knocker but Volga’s in the way! The mystery man lets Knocker go, slides back into the ring, but Knocker comes back with a LARIAT!
Volga CHOPS Gooma, and CHOPS, and CHOPS! Gooma blocks Volga’s next chop to get him up into a torture rack! Volga flails and gets back in the ring, but Gooma grabs him and pulls him against the ropes! Gooma CLUBS away on Volga again and again and again! Hammer heads over, Gooma shoves Volga at him and Hammer scoops Volga to a gorilla press! Gooma holds the ropes down and Hammer TOSSES Volga onto Wizzro! Hammer ELIMINATES Volga! The Dark Forces are down to just Gibdo and the new guy! Gibdo rushes over and fires off on Hammer, but Gooma gets back in the ring and they mug Gibdo 2v1 in a corner.
Treetoh clings to ropes, Hilda is after her, but Midna CLUBS Hilda down! Midna CHOPS Hilda, stomps Treetoh, tells Treetoh’s fans to shut up, then CHOPS Hilda again. Midna pushes Hilda against ropes but Hilda holds on and kicks Midna away. Treetoh goes after Midna but Midna swings her around to TOSS her over and out! But Treetoh’s fans are there for her to land on! Treetoh stands on her fans’ backs, but Midna glares at her. Treetoh stays away from the ring, and her fans make a path for her to go around the way. Midna glares at Treetoh, but Hilda pulls Midna’s hair! Hilda bumps Midna off buckles while Treetoh literally walks all over her fans.
Hilda chokes Midna against ropes but Midna throws elbows to get Hilda to stop. Midna coughs, Hilda kicks but Midna blocks and throws Hilda down. Midna aims and runs in but Hilda manages to duck the Twilight Sleep! Hilda pushes Midna but can’t get her to go over the ropes. Also Treetoh has been doing a musical number while dancing on the apron. Midna and Hilda see that and decide to stop fighting each other. They run over and BLAST Treetoh off the apron, and her fans can’t save her this time! Midna and Hilda ELIMINATE Treetoh together! And then Hilda SLAPS Midna! Hilda whips but Midna blocks it! Midna reels Hilda in for a SPINEBUSTER!
Midna grounds ‘n’ pounds Hilda while Great Fairy goes after Ghirahim in a corner. Ghirahim kicks her in a leg and then bumps her off buckles. Ghirahim throws forearms on her over and over, then brings her out to throw her back at the corner. She holds onto the top rope, boots Ghirahim away, then somersaults to COMPLETE SHOT! Aveil and Riju keep on Stalfos 2v1, but Kohga pulls Aveil away. Aveil SHOTEIS Kohga but Stalfos BOOTS Riju away. Stalfos mule kicks Aveil, front kicks her, then BOOTS her into Kohga’s gut wrench to rack and POWERBOMB! Yiga Clan Secret Technique Number One! Stalfos keeps Riju down while Kohga gets Aveil back up to toss her and ELIMINATE her!
Kohga sees Great Fairy kicking Ghirahim against ropes and heads over. Kohga helps her stomp Ghirahim but Ghirahim borrows an idea from Knocker and just goes out under the bottom rope. Ghirahim then trips Great Fairy up but Kohga kicks Ghirahim through the ropes. Kohga gets Great Fairy up, and then betrays her by throwing her over! Great Fairy holds on but Ghirahim gets on the apron to go after her. Great Fairy jumps back in, to avoid Ghirahim and POSTS him! Ghirahim slumps down onto the apron, Great Fairy drags him up, but Kohga back body blocks Great Fairy in the corner! And then gets Great Fairy up in Gory Especial to swing her out for a KNEE!
Great Fairy staggers, Kohga reels her in and FLAPJACKS her onto the top rope! Great Fairy is stuck on the top rope and Kohga pushes her over and out to ELIMINATE her! Kohga turns around into a GHIRA CUTTER! Ghirahim gets Kohga up, throws him out, and ELIMINATES him! Knocker and Gooma brawl with Stalfos and Riju, Ghirahim watches from the outside, but then the mystery man CLOBBERS him! The mystery man and Gibdo stomp Ghirahim, Midna SLAPS Hilda right down, and Hilda gets in the middle of the brawling just to get away from Midna. Hilda dodges Gooma’s clothesline to shove him at Midna, who BOOTS him! But Gooma stays up!
Gooma roars, reels back but Midna CHOPS him first! Gooma roars again and still swings a clothesline but Midna catches it and spins Gooma around for a NECKBREAKER! Riju dodges Knocker’s haymaker, Stalfos HEADBUTTS Knocker into Riju’s BLOCKBUSTER! Hilda DECKS Riju then gets Knocker up to throw him up and over. Knocker holds on, Midna gets Gooma up and aims at Hilda! Midna shoves Gooma that way but Hilda moves and Gooma knocks into Knocker! Knocker falls, Gooma ELIMINATES Knocker! Gooma realizes what happened and feels awful, but then Stalfos clotheslines him out and ELIMINATES him!
The mystery man SUPERKICKS Stalfos down! Gibdo CLOBBERS Riju, but Midna BOOTS him! Hilda uppercuts the mystery man but he comes back with a sobat! Gibdo brawls with Midna, Ghirahim dragon sleepers Gibdo and suplexes, but Gibdo fights. Gibdo snapmares Ghirahim away, Midna CHOPS Gibdo. Midna gets Gibdo up but he holds onto ropes. Stalfos gets up but the mystery man RAMS him into a corner! Ghirahim goes after Gibdo, too, but Gibdo fights them off. Riju throws her whole body into Gibdo against the ropes! Ghirahim and Midna SUPERKICK BOOT COMBO! Gibdo goes up and out and hits the floor! The bell rings as we have our six!!
Winners: Riju, Ghirahim, Midna, Master Stalfos, Hilda & ???
Wait, what even is the name of the man in the black mask? He showed up with the Dark Forces but never said a word the entire match! Interview Paya nervously walks up to him, congratulates him on becoming one of the Eventide Six, and asks him his name. “Kage.” So then, will Kage cast a shadow on Treasure Island for the glory of the Dark Forces?
HPW Triforce Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ganondorf VS Yuga!
The Gerudo Ace wants payback on The Artist for taking his headdress, but he also wants to get back to the title! Will he accomplish both goals with one match? Or will Yuga put himself in the title picture instead?
The bell rings and Ganondorf stares down Yuga. The fans rally up as the two slowly start to circle. Ganondorf approaches but Yuga stays by the ropes. Ganondorf storms up but Yuga keeps his distance to keep from being cornered. Ganondorf keeps pursuing so Yuga uses the ropes as defense. Referee Tiger Sahasrahla has Ganondorf stay back and tells Yuga to get out of the ropes. Yuga tells Ganondorf to stay back as he slowly comes back, and the two circle. They approach, Yuga avoids the grapple to get behind and CLUB Ganondorf! Ganondorf gets mad and ROCKS Yuga with a right! Yuga staggers, Ganondorf shoves him into ropes and then CLOBBERS him!
There’s a bit of deja vu from this year’s Bracket of Power Finals as Yuga crawls and Ganondorf stalks him. Ganondorf shouts at Yuga, “You’re still just a stupid clown! You’re just dancing to Hilda’s tune!” Ganondorf kicks Yuga to a corner then stomps a mudhole into him. Sahasrahla counts and Ganondorf stops to run corner to corner and back again, but stops as Yuga slips out of the ring. Ganondorf goes out to the apron as Yuga staggers away. Yuga turns around into an APRON CANNONBALL! Direct hit and Yuga goes down! Fans fire up but the cameraman has to watch out as Ganondorf gets up and roars.
Sahasrahla starts the ring count but Ganondorf gets Yuga up to whip him into the steel steps! Yuga hits shoulder first and the steps go skidding away. Ganondorf looms over Yuga as the count reaches 5 of 10. Ganondorf stomps Yuga, drags him back up and gives him an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Yuga writhes but Ganondorf pushes him into the ring. Cover, TWO! Ganondorf chuckles as he looms over Yuga again. “C’mon, clown! Laugh! Draw me a painting!” Ganondorf then SLAPS Yuga, then stands on his head. Sahasrahla counts as Yuga kicks and flails, and Ganondorf steps off at 4. Ganondorf paces while watching Yuga get up slowly.
Ganondorf wrenches Yuga’s arm, YANKS on it, then reels him in to ram shoulder to shoulder! Ganondorf wrenches the arm again, and lifts Yuga with one arm! Yuga kicks and flails again but Ganondorf lets him down to reel him in for a short-arm clothesline! Ganondorf gets Yuga back up and reels him in for another! Fans are supporting Ganondorf more out of disliking him less than Yuga as he gets Yuga up again. Ganondorf wants another but Yuga dodges the short-arm clothesline this time to crucifix takedown! Cover, TWO, Ganondorf swings but Yuga dodges the clothesline to go to a corner! Yuga goes up and up for WHISPER IN THE WIND! Cover, TWO!
Yuga is frustrated but fans fire up. Yuga stomps Ganondorf, goes to the corner and climbs up. But Ganondorf gets up and goes right to the top rope! Ganondorf stands Yuga up for a SUPER BELLY2BELLY SUPLEX!! Fans lose their minds as they crash down! Cover, TWO!!? Yuga survives and shocks everyone! Ganondorf argues the count but Sahasrahla insists it was fair. Yuga crawls for his corner but Ganondorf sees him reaching for the scepter. Ganondorf drops an elbow on Yuga to keep him from the corner. Ganondorf grabs the scepter first, and Sahasrahla tells him not to use it. Ganondorf brings the scepter out of the ring, and SMACKS it on the steel steps!
Fans go nuts and Yuga shouts as Ganondorf SMACKS the steps again and again, and the scepter is breaking! Again it was just a toy with LED lights and stuff, but still! Ganondorf then tosses the thing aside and gets back in the ring. Yuga fires off furious fists! Ganondorf shoves Yuga away and then DECKS him! Yuga sits up in a daze, Ganondorf looms over him and fans rally up. Ganondorf drags Yuga up, TOSSES him into a corner and then fires off a windmill of haymakers! Fans fire up but Sahasrahla counts and Ganondorf lets off at 4. Ganondorf runs side to side and BOOTS Yuga! Yuga staggers, falls, and flops out of the ring! Ganondorf sighs in frustration.
Ganondorf goes out after Yuga and stalks him as Yuga crawls towards the ramp side. Sahasrahla starts a ring count as Ganondorf stomps Yuga. Ganondorf drags him around to the ramp side of the ring, CLUBS him, then reels him in. Ganondorf is aiming for the ramp as he bomb lifts Yuga! Yuga flails and fights desperately, and reaches for the ropes! Yuga grabs hold, gets in to break the count, but Ganondorf still has hold of a leg! Ganondorf drags Yuga back out, bumps him off the apron, then pops him up, for a GANON BOMB to the ramp!! Ganondorf leaves Yuga behind while fans lose their minds again, and a new ring count begins!
Fans are still shouting, “HOLY S***! HOLY S***!” as the count climbs to 3 of 10. Yuga finally starts to stir around 4, and is in a daze as he crawls towards the ring. Yuga makes it over by 7, drags himself up with the apron skirt at 8, but fumbles a bit! Yuga groans and gives it a last gas, and is in at 9.9!! Ganondorf storms over but Yuga flops back out! Ganondorf has about had it with Yuga, and gets out of the ring while Yuga is trying to crawl under it! Ganondorf drags Yuga back out but Yuga kicks him away. Yuga gets all the way under, Ganondorf goes fishing for him, and brings out… Wait, that’s not Yuga, that’s Ravio in a really lame Yuga costume!
Well, alright, not that lame. The wig looks great, but with it just on top of Ravio’s bunny mask, we know it’s Ravio! When did he get under there? Though, did we even see him leave during the battle royal? Sahasrahla reprimands Ravio, he was banned from ringside for this match! Ravio argues that he is Yuga, but it’s so obvious he’s not! Ravio goes onto the apron, still claiming he’s Yuga, but the real Yuga appears from around the other side! Ganondorf yanks Ravio off the apron and shoves him down! “Get out of here, you idiot!” Ravio scurries around the way, Sahasrahla keeps shouting at him to leave, but Yuga sneaks up behind Ganondorf to LOW BLOW him from behind!
Fans boo as Yuga gets away with it and puts Ganondorf in the ring! Yuga drags Ganondorf up, hits a SIDE LEG SWEEP and then hooks the legs with his legs! Cover just like the Power of Bracket Finals, TWO!?! Ganondorf survives the screw job and Yuga can’t believe it! Ravio gets on the apron and throws his wig in anger! But now there’s absolutely no doubt he’s who he really is, and Sahasrahla tells him to leave! Ravio says, “Fine, fine! I’ll go!” Ganondorf hobbles up and glares at Yuga, and Yuga turns and runs! Ganondorf chases him into a corner, Yuga grabs at buckles! Sahasrahla counts the ropebreak but also tells Yuga to let go.
Sahasrahla counts, Ganondorf YANKS Yuga back, and a buckle pad comes off! Sahasrahla shouts at Yuga to let go of the buckle pad, Yuga tosses it to Ganondorf and claims Ganondorf is in the wrong now. Ganondorf throws the pad down and Sahasrahla picks it up. Sahasrahla goes to the corner to see if he can put it back on, and Yuga jumps at Ganondorf to rake his eyes! Ganondorf shoves Yuga away, Yuga LOW BLOWS him again! Yuga drags Ganondorf into a fisherman SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, YUGA WINS!?!
Winner: Yuga, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Triforce Championship)
Another match, another out of the box way to cheat by those lowdown, no good troublemakers! Hilda had her shot and lost, will this time be the right time for Yuga?
HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Skull Lake Street Fight: Cia VS Lana!
The Dark Sorceress and the Blue Haired Goddess did their best to beat each other black ‘n’ blue at Gut Check Rock, but now they’ll look to go for gold! Happening on the ring set up on the narrow “nose” of Skull Lake, this match ends by either pinfall, submission, or someone falling into the water! Who falls and who rises towards the throne of the Princess of Hyrule?
Because this is a Street Fight, the sisters aren’t wearing their wrestling gear but something they might wear day-to-day, but also goes well with water. Lana went with sandals, denim jeans and a tankini while Cia also has sandals, but shining purple hot pants and bikini top. To be fair, Cia’s usual gear isn’t that different… The introductions don’t even finish before Cia DECKS Lana! Referee Maron RonRon reprimands her and checks on Lana. Lana is furious and demands this match begin, so Maron rings the bell! The sisters rush each other and fans fire up as Lana ROCKS Cia! Cia staggers to a corner and Lana stomps a mudhole into her!
Lana lets off only because she’s tiring her leg out, and then she runs corner to corner. Cia slips out to the apron before Lana returns so Lana stops short. Lana grabs at Cia but Cia uses that to hotshot Lana’s arm! Lana clutches the shoulder, but Cia grabs her by the hair to throw her into the buckles! Cia gets back in to stomp a mudhole into Lana now! Cia swings but Lana boots the dropkick away! Lana gets up and KICKS Cia in the leg! Cia hobbles, Lana grabs her and POSTS her! Lana rolls Cia up, TWO! But Lana has a leg! Lana steps through but Cia kicks her away to avoid the Sharpshooter. Cia bails out and goes looking under the ring. Lana runs in, but Cia avoids the baseball slide!
Lana steadies herself as she slides out of the ring. The edge of the nose plateau is right there, she could lose by falling in! Cia kicks but Lana blocks it. Lana goes to throw Cia but Cia grabs the apron skirt! Cia kicks free and gets in the ring while Lana avoids the edge. Lana gets back in the ring but Cia is ready with a kick to her leg! BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO! Cia rains down fists on Lana while fans rally up. Cia stomps Lana again and again, then goes back out of the ring to look underneath. Fans sing, “Nana nana, nana nana, nana nana, nana nana… NA NA NA NAAA~!” Cia brings out a kendo stick! Cia gets back in the ring and aims at Lana, SMACK across her back!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Cia keeps hitting Lana around the ring! Lana gets to the apron, Cia digs the tip of the stick into Lana’s shoulder, but Lana slaps it away. Cia goes out and SMACKS Lana from the side! Lana scrambles away back to center but Cia pursues. Lana gets up, Cia reels back, but Lana kicks her low! Cia drops the stick and Lana picks it up! Cia freaks out but can’t get away before Lana SMACKS her on the back! Lana SMACKS Cia to ropes and then SMACKS her again! Cia kicks Lana’s leg and grabs the kendo stick, but Lana holds on for a tug-o-war! They go around, Cia reels Lana in to DECK her with a forearm! Cia has the stick again and SMACKS Lana over and over!
Fans boo as Cia keeps giving Lana SMACKS across her back and legs! Cia drops the stick because it’s starting to splinter! Cia KICKS Lana in the side, and fans boo as she stands on Lana’s head. “You should’ve stayed home! You’re not tough enough for this!” Lana shoves Cia’s leg away, starts to get up, but Cia pulls on her hair. Fans boo as Cia uses the hair to drag Lana over towards the ropes. Cia slides out of the ring but Lana grabs the ropes. Cia goes after Lana’s hands but Lana kicks at her! Lana turns and kicks Cia towards the edge! But Cia grabs Lana’s foot and holds on! Fans chant, “FALL! FALL! FALL!” as Lana tries to shake Cia off. But Cia CLAWS Lana’s foot and calf!
Lana pulls her leg in and that pulls Cia back from the edge! Cia stomps Lana on the floor, drags her up, but Lana knees her low first! Lana goes to push Cia but Cia digs in her heels! Lana CHOPS Cia on the back! Cia CHOPS Lana on the chest! Lana CHOPS Cia on the chest now and Cia stumbles backwards and falls over! Cia crawls for the corner and Lana stalks her. There’s a touch more space on this side of the nose, but not much. Cia starts looking under the ring, Lana grabs at her, but Cia JAMS her with a chair! Lana falls over but realizes the edge is near and scoots back towards the ring. But that brings her to Cia, and Cia SMACKS her with the chair!
Fans boo as Cia digs the chair’s edge into Lana’s back! Lana shouts in pain as she can only endure, and Cia keeps shouting, “You should’ve stayed home! You should’ve stayed home!!” Cia finally lets off, puts the chair down and drags Lana towards the edge. Fans boo and chant, “No! No! No!” but Lana fights back! She drags Cia down by her hair! They both fight to keep away from the edge while pushing the other! It turns into a scrap, and Lana SLAPS Cia! And SLAPS her! And hammers her with right hands! Lana gets Cia up, looks at the edge and the water below, and shakes her head?! “That’s too easy!” Lana shoves Cia into the ring! She wants to make Cia feel the pain!
Lana gets the chair, brings it into the ring, and stalks Cia as she crawls. Cia slowly gets up, and Lana SMACKS her on the back! Cia falls over and fans fire up with Lana as she roars! Lana SMACKS Cia again, and again! Cia writhes, begs for mercy, but that only upsets Lana more! Lana stomps Cia down, sits the chair up, then drags Cia over to it. Lana bounces Cia’s face off the seat! Cia sputters while resting against the chair, but then Lana sits on her head! Fans cheer and even laugh as Lana humiliates her horrible sister! Lana then brings Cia up in a gut wrench, stands up, and hooks Cia’s arms with her legs! Cia grabs the chair even as Lana hits THE STYLES CLASH!!
Lana turns Cia over for the cover, but Cia SMACKS Lana in the head with the chair!! Fans lose their minds while Maron checks on Lana. Cia crawls away, and then uses the chair to help her stand back up. Oh, Lana’s got a bloody nose! But she tells Maron she’s not letting this stop her! Lana gets up, Cia hurries to get the chair up but Lana ROCKS her with a right! Lana CHOPS, ROCKS, repeat and puts Cia in a corner! Lana keeps going, forearm and CHOP, forearm and CHOP, over and over! She stops to catch her breath, which is hard because of the bloody nose, but she still tells Maron to let her be as she hobbles for the chair. But Cia CHOP BLOCKS Lana down!
Cia stands on Lana’s back, then pulls Lana’s hair again so she can look at her sister’s bloody face. Fans boo as Cia SMACKS Lana off the chair! And again! And again! Cia soaks up the heat a moment before she brings Lana back up. Cia has the shoulders, but Lana WRINGS Cia off the backstabber! Cia lands on the chair! Cia writhes while Lana steadies herself, and fans chant, “This is Awesome!” Lana stands Cia up, drags Cia back up and reels her in. Lana stands over the chair, and she lifts Cia, but her back makes that harder. Lana tells Maron she’s fine, but then Cia powers up! Lana holds off the back drop, tries another lift, but Cia resists that.
Cia gets Lana up and over for the back drop but Lana makes it a sunset flip! High stack, TWO! But Lana holds onto the legs and steps through! Cia flails as Lana turns her, Lana gets the SHARPSHOOTER! Fans are thunderous as Lana sits deep and Cia endures! Cia reaches out, claws her way over, and gets the ropes, but it doesn’t cause a ropebreak because this is a Street Fight! Maron tells Cia this, but Cia holds onto the rope all the same. Cia keeps crawling, trying to get out of the ring, but Lana drags her back! Cia has the apron skirt as pulls and tears at it, and even bites it, to endure the pain!
Cia powers up, fights her way back to the ropes, and climbs them?! The change in leverage makes Lana wobble, and then Cia pushes off the ropes and rolls, sending Lana into the ropes! Lana gets a bit of whiplash and she lets go of the hold! Lana flops out of the ring and to the floor! Cia hobbles with the pain in her legs and back but goes out after Lana. Cia drags Lana up and shouts, “Go soak your fat head!” But Lana SMACKS Cia with a kendo stick?! Lana must’ve gotten that out from under the ring! Lana SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS Cia again, and now Cia is by the edge! Lana aims but Cia blocks the headshot!
Cia takes the stick from Lana, but Lana SCREW HIGH KICKS! Cia staggers, falls, and SPLASHES DOWN! Lana wins!!
Winner: Lana, by splashdown (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Goddess Championship)
Amazing! Lana’s second match in HPW is her biggest win ever! And now she’s heading to Treasure Island! Zelda walks out onto the stage and fans cheer as she holds up the belt. Lana, wiping the blood from her nose, nods as she stares Zelda down. Will the Blue Haired Goddess become a golden goddess in another shocker? Or will the Princess of Hyrule reign for all time?
My Thoughts:
Battle royals sure go long in text form, don’t they? Or maybe I can learn to trim them down. I could’ve had Master Kohga repeat in the Eventide Challenge from last year, but I feel like having some variety in the sequel would be better. The trickiest part of Ganondorf VS Yuga was, “How is Yuga going to cheat?” It also turned out to be the most fun part after I came up with that idea with Ravio.
The Skull Lake Street Fight’s flaw might be that it was hard not to have it end so easily. So many ways someone could’ve been believably pushed into the water, perhaps this is one of those pro-wrestling dilemmas of suspending disbelief a bit too much. But because of the splashdown stipulation, that had to come up, just like the Mimosa Mayhem in AEW. Lana winning might also be an odd booking call, but we’ve already had Zelda VS Cia, we need variety here, too.
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The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 71
Another year, another epic way to celebrate HPW’s Triforce Anniversary! Will Zelda finally become Undisputed HPW Triforce World Champion?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Tali w/ Shabonne VS Aveil; Aveil wins.
- Million Rupee Championship Moon Madness Match: Majora VS Byrne Lokoma w/ Chancellor Cole; Majora wins and retains the title.
- 21 Person Championship Contract Battle Royal: Yunobo wins and will challenge for the Death Mountain Championship.
- HPW Triforce Tournament Triple Threat Finals: GANON VS Sidon VS Thunderbird; Ganon wins and will challenge for the Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship.
- Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship: Link VS Zelda; Zelda wins and becomes the new Undisputed HPW Triforce World Champion.
PLAY BY PLAY
HPW and HXS TV set the scene!
Anniversaries are always important dates to remember, but they aren’t always accompanied with fond memories. For the Hero of Hyrule, Link, he was the inaugural HPW Triforce Champion. But that meant there had to be two who lost that match: Ganon and Zelda. But now, there’s a chance the dynamic could flip upside-down! Ganon is back in the Triforce Tournament Triple Threat Finals, though through a very controversial assist. Will he finally win the trophy? Or will someone trump the Gerudo Ace? As for the Princess of Hyrule, she’s going all in, making this her last chance at the world title! Will Zelda finally stand at the pinnacle of HPW?
As for the other 21 stars that lost in this year’s tournament, they all converge in the traditional battle royal! All 21 are fighting for gold, and they can have their pick! Death Mountain Championship? Termina Championship? Goddess Championship? Whoever wins can pick one of those out as their target! And while those 21 go for gold, Majora has issued an Open Challenge for the Million Rupee Championship! Many are eager to challenge for it, but the only catch is… they must face the MOON MADNESS! A new stipulation every three minutes, you’d have to be crazy to try! Who will risk their mind and body for a taste of glory?
But first! All this gold means nothing when there’s a grudge to settle! The Dame of the Dunes beat Buliara & Riju, but will she complete the trifecta? Or will Aveil avenge the Gerudo Sisterhood? The HPW Triforce Anniversary special in Central Hyrule starts now!
Tali w/ Shabonne VS Aveil!
The Gerudo Sisterhood grudge has reached the trilogy! But while the Dame of the Dunes is 2-0, she’s run into the Desert Flower! Will Tali punctuate the third act with another victory? Or will it be “third time’s the charm” in slapping some sense into her?
The bell rings and the fans rally for Aveil. Tali is annoyed as she and Aveil slowly circle. They feel things out, tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and Tali THROWS Aveil down! Tali slaps Aveil around and talks some smack, “You think you can stand in the ring with me?” Aveil gets up in a huff and Tali eggs her on. They circle and tie up again, Aveil gets around to kick Tali’s leg out! Then Aveil returns that head slap! Tali is seething as she stands up, and the two tie up again. Tali powers Aveil to a corner, but Aveil goes up and around to arm-drag Tali way! Aveil runs, dodges and handsprings! Tali gets clear but Aveil comes back to dropkick her down!
The fans fire up as Tali staggers to her feet. Aveil throws forearms and CHOPS, then whips Tali corner to corner. Tali reverses, Aveil goes up, but Tali catches her! Tali pops Aveil over into the shoulder rack, but Aveil sunset flips through! Tali stays up, YANKS Aveil back up and whips her to ropes, to then run her over! The fans boo while Tali dusts herself off, letting the “dust” fall on Aveil. Tali runs but Aveil stays low. Tali jumps over the dropdown, Aveil hurdles over Tali! Tali comes back, blocks Aveil’s kick, then FLIPS Aveil! Aveil lands on her feet, and ROCKS Tali! Tali staggers, Aveil DROPKICKS her out of the ring!
The fans fire up with Aveil as she builds speed! Aveil DIVES into a FOREARM! Shabonne cheers as Aveil flops onto the apron. Tali drags Aveil into an Electric Chair Lift! Tali then SLAMS Aveil on the apron! Aveil sputters and falls back while the fans boo, but Tali soaks up the heat. Tali drags Aveil back up, puts her in the ring, then takes her time soaking up more heat. Tali storms up the steel steps and into the ring as Shabonne hypes her up as the “Alpha Female.” Tali stalks Aveil to the corner, then stands her up for body shots! The ref counts but Tali tells him to leave her alone. Tali goes back to Aveil, who fires a flurry of forearms!
Tali throws more body shots back, then CLUBS Aveil down! Tali looms over Aveil, drags her up by her gear, then HIP DROPS her back down. Tali then wraps Aveil up in body scissors to squeeze! The fans rally for Aveil as she endures. Aveil pries at the legs but Tali holds on tight. Aveil pushes back for a cover, TWO and Tali still has Aveil in the squeeze. Aveil fights with elbows, then turns around and throws more forearms! The fans fire up as Aveil fires off with fury! Tali sets Aveil free and the two go to opposite corners. Aveil runs in, Tali moves, and Aveil hits buckles! Tali picks up Aveil for an atomic FACEBUSTER!
Tali stomps Aveil around, dares her to get up, and the fans rally up. Tali reels Aveil in and suplexes her! Tali holds Aveil up, but Aveil cradle counters! ONE and Tali rocks it back, then she deadlift suplexes Aveil to SLAM her down! Cover, TWO!! Aveil survives but just barely! Tali seethes but keeps her focus and she drags Aveil up again. Tali clamps on with a COBRA TWIST! Aveil endures as Tali clamps on with a hand to the ribs! Fans rally, Aveil fights the hold, shifts around and throws body shots. Aveil powers Tali to a corner, but Tali CLUBS Aveil’s back! Tali hoists Aveil to the top rope, and ROCKS her with a haymaker!
Tali climbs up to join Aveil, brings her up to the very top, but Aveil fights out and slips under! Aveil YANKS Tali’s arm to bump her off buckles! Aveil then hops up to get behind Tali! Fans rally as Aveil waistlocks Tali, for a SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!! Fans are thunderous as both women are down! “This is Awesome!” as Aveil and Tali stir, and they again go to opposite corners. Aveil drags herself up, runs in, and hits an ELBOW! Aveil reels Tali in and underhooks, but Tali BACKDROPS free! But Aveil lands on her feet! SHOTEI! Wheelbarrow and victory roll to DOUBLE STOMP! Aveil adds a basement dropkick! Cover, TWO!!
The fans are thunderous, and Tali’s ear is busted open from that shot! Aveil shows no mercy and goes after that side with a CROSSFACE! Tali endures, moves as best as she can, rolls to a cover, TWO! Tali BOOTS Aveil down! Tali checks her nose but that’s not what’s bleeding. She checks her ear and finds plenty of blood, that she then turns into war paint on her cheek. Tali drags Aveil up, but Aveil grabs an arm for an ELBOW BREAKER! And another, and another, and another! The fans fire up, Aveil then wrenches and hits an ARMBAR DDT! Tali crawls to ropes, shakes the bad arm, but Aviel runs to dropkick the arm!
Tali clutches her elbow but she refuses to let this end here! Tali scoops Aveil, but Aveil gets to the apron! Aveil ducks a punch to HOTSHOT the arm! Tali falls and writhes on the mat. Aveil grabs the arm to SLAM it over and over and over again on the apron! Shabonne freaks out but Tali refuses to quit. Aveil joins Tali on the apron, and Tali throws haymakers with the good arm! Aviel returns fire, then she grabs the bad arm! There’s a moment of fear on Tali’s face! Aveil WRINGS the arm into the apron! Tali shouts in pain as she falls to the floor! But Aveil is right after the bad arm again! Aveil drags Tali up and whips her into the steel steps, bad arm first!
Tali shouts in pain again while she slumps back down. Aveil catches her breath, then storms up on Tali. Aveil CLUBS Tali, goes after the bad arm again, and has an ARMBAR! The ref counts, this won’t matter outside the ring anyway! Aveil lets go at 4, Tali scrambles away into into the ring. Aveil slides in and is still after the bad arm! Aveil grabs the arm and grinds it down with an armlock. Tali endures, fights her way up, but Aveil ROUNDHOUSES her down! Aveil covers, ONE, but she’s after the arm again! Tali does her best to resist but Aveil stomps her! Aveil SLAMS the arm down on the mat, then goes up top! But Tali trips her up!
Tali grits her teeth through the pain and she ROCKS Aveil with a right hand! Tali climbs up to join Aveil, works to get the bad arm moving, but she CLUBS away with the good arm! Tali brings Aveil up, Aveil fights the superplex, but Tali clubs away with the good arm! Tali brings Aveil back up, and hits the SUPERPLEX! But she can’t make the cover right away! Shabonne coaches Tali as she crawls over, covers with one good arm, TWO!! Aveil survives again and Tali is beside herself! “This is Awesome!” but far from over! Tali grits her teeth and she drags Aveil up. Aveil throws a haymaker! Tali gives it back! They throw shots back and forth as they stand, and fans fire up!
Aveil fires up to throw right hand after right hand, but Tali blocks one, spins Aveil for a cravat, and fires KNEE after KNEE after KNEE! Tali then snapmares and runs to basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Tali scowls as she gets back up and looms over Aveil. Tali gets the legs, ties them up, and with one good arm puts on a CLOVERLEAF! Aveil endures, but Tali SWINGS her around! Aveil endures even now, and Tali steps back over! Aveil endures, crawls, reaches out, claws at the mat, and gets the ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer, the ref counts, and Tali lets go at 4. Tali is frustrated, but she deadlift gut wrenches! But Aveil flails, swings and arm-drags Tali into an ARMBAR!!
The fans fire up, Shabonne freaks out, but Tali clasps hands! Aveil CLUBS away on the grip! Tali moves around, stacks Aveil to a cover, ONE, and Tali deadlifts again! But Shirai PULLS on the bad arm and wrangles Tlai back down! Tali kicks around and gets her legs on the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Aveil lets go quickly and gets moving! Tali ducks the Tiger Feint Kick! Aveil spins and stumbles, but she dodges Tali’s lariat to fire SHOTEI after SHOTEI after SHOTEI! Tali stumbles into the ropes, Shirai runs in, TIGER FEINT! The fans fire up, Aveil goes up top, and Tali stands into a MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO!! Tali survives and Shabonne can breathe again! But fans rally back up as Tali goes to a corner. Aveil runs in, METEORA!
Tali sputters, Aveil drags her into the drop zone, and Aveil goes up top! OVER THE MOON- NO! Tali moves and then LARIATS Aveil inside-out! Cover, TWO!! Aveil’s still in this and Tali’s losing her cool! Tali stomps away on Aveil but the fans boo. Tali drags Aveil back up and gut wrenches for the shoulder rack! Aveil turns over and turns it into a REVERSE DDT! Both women are down again and fans are electric! Tali crawls to the apron, Aveil spots her, and Aviel runs up! SUNSET FLIP- NO, Tali grabs the ropes to fight the bomb! The fans rally, Shabonne freaks out, but Aveil pries her free from the ropes! POWERBOMB through the announce desk!!!
Fans lose their minds and commentary is completely shocked! Aveil staggers to her feet, and she leaves Tali behind in the wreckage. Tali stirs, Shabonne shouts at her to get up, but we’re already at 4 of 10. Tali as the ring count passes 5! Tali fumbles and stumbles at 7, stands at 8! Tali lunges in at 9.9! But Aveil is OVER THE MOONSAULT! Cover, AVEIL WINS!!
Winner: Aveil, by pinfall
The Gerudo grudge finale is a true epic! Justice has been served on- OH NO, SHABONNE CLOBBERS AVEIL! Shabonne is furious as she shouts at Aveil, “This is what I’ve been talking about! You just keep holding her back! You just keep getting in her way! Tali would be on top of the world by now if not for you!” The fans boo but did Shabonne confess she got in Tali’s ear? Is Shabonne the reason Tali put herself ahead of the group? Tali slowly gets back up, and Shabonne drags Aveil up. Shabonne feeds Aveil to Tali’s gut wrench! DOMINATOR!! Shabonne helps Tali get up again, and they stand over Aveil. Tali still went 2-1, will she rise to the top of HPW by force?
Million Rupee Championship Moon Madness Match: Majora VS ???
The Monster Mask took this belt back for the UnderWorld Order, still cheating Kevin Gibdo even though it was all No Disqualifications style matches. But now, he’ll have to put his money where his mouth is, facing a mystery opponent! Will Majora regret making such a gamble? Or will he still be worth his weight in gold?
Everyone watches the ramp for Majora’s opponent, and out walks Chancellor Cole? Well, he surely can’t be the one, but “Ladies and gentlemen,” he gives his introduction as “the Special Counsel for The Man with the Iron Claw, who will soon adorn it with the most lavish title in the land! That man is none other than BYRRRNE…! LOKOMAAA~!” Obviously that’s who Cole was bringing along. The introductions don’t really need to be made, but the belt is raised, and the gamble begins with the first spin of the wheel! They start with… FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE!
Falls Count Anywhere!
Well that makes this easy. Not only can these two do anything, they can go anywhere! The bell rings and the two circle. The fans rally, Majora and Byrne feel things out, then Majora kicks Byrne low! The fans boo while Majora headlocks. Majora grinds Byrne, but Byrne throws body shots. Byrne powers up and out, but Majora runs him over! The fans boo but Majora soaks up that heat. Byrne bails out, Cole coaches him up, but Majora builds speed, slides out, and LARIATS Byrne down! The fans boo but Majora tells them to shut up. Majora drags Byrne up, brings him around to the desk, and fakes smacking Byrne off the top.
Rusl tells Majora not to mess around. But also, he wouldn’t mind if Byrne ate table, referencing when Byrne was calling him out from last year. Majora whips Byrne hard into barriers! Byrne falls in a heap, the fans boo, but Majora storms up on Byrne. Majora stomps Byrne, drags him up, and brings him around to whip into more barriers! The fans boo more, but Majora goes looking under the ring. Fans chant for tables, but Majora brings out a chair instead. The fans boo as he holds it up, and also flips them off. Majora storms over to Byrne, JAMS him up, and then SMACKS him on the back! Fans boo while Byrne staggers away.
Majora stalks Byrne to the ramp, and fans boo more as Majora SMACKS Byrne again! Byrne falls over, Cole protests, but Majora threatens Cole now. Majora goes back to Byrne, but Byrne grabs the chair with his iron claw! The two fight over the chair, Majora swings Byrne into the post! Majora then takes aim, but Byrne dodges! Chair hits post and Majora is disarmed! Byrne then runs up to DECK Majora! The fans fire up, we’re under a minute, and Byrne grabs the chair. Byrne sits the chair up, drags Majora up with the IRON CLAW to his face, and aims for the chair! The fans count with the countdown as Byrne aims for the chair!
“THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!” The wheel spins again, right as Majora fights off the lift! Majora CLUBS Byrne’s arm, breaks free, and kicks low. Majora suplexes Byrne onto the chair! The wheel lands on… BULL ROPE MATCH!
Bull Rope Match!
The ring crew fetches the bull rope, the ref tells Majora to stop, but Majora drags Byrne up. Majora puts Byrne in the ring, covers, but the ref says no, they have to put the bull rope on first. Majora gets mad but these are technically the rules he established. Majora demands they bring the rope, the crewman gives the rope to the ref, and the ref gives Majora one end. Majora straps in while the ref checks on Byrne. Byrne sits up, the ref explains what’s going on, and Byrne takes the other end of the rope. Byrne straps in, the ref says now they can continue, and Majora reels Byrne in using the rope! LARIAT! The fans boo, Majora covers, TWO!
Majora drags Byrne around using the bull rope, then stands him up in a corner. Majora stomps a mudhole into Byrne, and he just keeps going! No disqualifications and all that. Majora stops after about 20 stomps, then roars while fans boo. Byrne sputters, Majora drags him up using the bull rope, and then scoops to SLAM him! Majora then gathers up the slack to LASH Byrne! Byrne writhes, the fans boo, but Majora LASHES Byrne again! Byrne writhes more, goes for the ring ropes, but Majora uses the bull rope to drag him back to center. Majora then winds up and LASHES Byrne again! Byrne writhes and spasms from the pain!
Majora soaks up the heat as the fans boo even more. Majora then sits Byrne up, wraps the bull rope around him, and CHOKES him! The fans boo, the ref reprimands but that’s all he can do. Byrne refuses to give up, so Majora stops choking him. Majora stands Byrne up, and he uses the rope to whip Byrne hard into a corner! Majora then uses the rope to swing and sends Byrne hard into another corner! Majora then reels Byrne in, scoop and SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer as Byrne stays in this, and we’re already under a minute on the countdown. Majora goes to a corner and takes aim as the fans rally up.
Byrne rises, Majora runs up, but Byrne ducks under Torpedo Majora! The fans fire up as Byrne uses the bull rope to drag Majora up into an IRON CLAW! And then an IRON CLAW SLEEPER, that shifts into an IRON CLAW COBRA TWIST! AKA Track Buckling! Majora flails as Byrne twists and bends him! The fans chant “TAP! TAP! TAP!” Byrne then swings Majora into an URENAGE! AKA Off The Rails! Cover, TWO! Majora survives, the countdown is back! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!!” The wheel spins again, and gives us… CASKET MATCH!!
Casket Match!
The ring crew now wheels out a casket and the fans fire up. Byrne frees his hand from the bull rope, but he still LASHES Majora with it! The fans fire up as Byrne LASHES Majora again and again and again! The casket reaches ringside, Byrne uses the rope to drag Majora, but Majora digs his heels in. They tug-o-war while Majora is still on the mat. Byrne stomps Majora! Byrne storms over to the casket, opens it up, but Majora LASHES Byrne on the back of the leg! Byrne hobbles and stumbles to a corner, and Majora LASHES him again! The fans boo, Majora gets his hand free of the rope, and he CHOKES Byrne again!
The fans boo more, but Majora drags Byrne out of the ring like that. Majora dumps Byrne on the ground, throws the rope aside, and goes to the casket. Majora nods as he brings it over, this was the stipulation that beat Kevin Gibdo. Majora drags Byrne up, but Byrne fires body shots! The fans fire up as that iron fist hits hard, and then Byrne scoops Majora! Majora flails to get free, and then he shoves Byrne down! Byrne falls into the casket! Majora grabs the lid, but Byrne gets his feet up to block! Majora pushes down on the lid but Byrne doesn’t give in! Majora stops with the lid to stomp Byrne. Byrne grabs Majora’s foot!
Byrne shoves Majora away, gets himself out of the casket, and ROCKS Majora! The lid falls shot, but Byrne brings Majora around with the IRON CLAW! IRON CLAW SLAM onto the casket! The fans go nuts as Majora is bent backwards! Majora slowly slumps off the casket, Byrne opens it up, and he drags Majora inside. Byrne slams the lid shut, but it doesn’t shut because it’s all busted up! Something about that impact has warped the frame! Cole shouts for a second casket and the ring crew hurries out. And this one’s solid Mahogany! The crew hurries as fast as they can with time running out for this stipulation!
Byrne drags Majora out of the busted casket and over to the second. Cole has the crew slow to a stop, and Cole even opens it up himself! But Majora BOOTS Cole! And he RAMS Byrne into barriers! The fans boo more, but now the countdown is back! “THREE! TWO! ONE! BRR!!” The wheel spins again and lands on… WOODWORK MATCH!
Woodwork Match!
Wait, what’s a Woodwork match? The ring announcer, Purah, is given a note. “In honor of the fifth anniversary, Majora introduces the Woodwork match. Any weapon is allowed, so long as it is made out of or contains wood.” Well, that second casket qualifies, doesn’t it? Majora picks Byrne up to SPINEBUSTER him on the wood casket! Byrne slumps to the floor, Majora drags Byrne up and puts him in the ring. Majora takes aim from a corner while the fans boo, and Byrne stands up into a TORPEDO MAJORA! Cover, Majora wins!
Winner: Majora, by pinfall (still Million Rupee Champion)
Majora holds up the title, having brutalized the former Dark Horse. The fans boo, but wait, the lights go down! The tron turns on, and there’s a warped version of the UnderWorld Order’s theme playing as if in the distance. There’s backwards speech, and text appears on screen, as if typed backwards. It eventually reads, “The following atonement will be paid for by the uWo.” Then we get a replay of how Scaldera & Majora set that casket on fire back at HyruleMania! Then the tron goes to static before cutting out. The lights come back on, and is the wood casket opening on its own?! The fans go nuts as it’s KEVIN GIBDO!
His bandages are tattered, but there’s rage in his eyes as he rises out of the casket! Majora is frozen in place looking at this scene! Kevin storms up to the ring, and Majora scrambles out the other side! But Kevin grabs him by the foot! Kevin drags Majora back in, and he rains down fists on the back of Majora’s head! The fans are thunderous, Kevin lets off to grab the belt! Kevin aims at Majora, and CLOBBERS him with the belt! The fans fire up more as Majora is down! Kevin stands over him, holding up the belt. Will Kevin have his revenge on Majora and reign once again?
21 Person Championship Contract Battle Royal!
Groose, Yunobo, Ashei, Odolwa, Donny B. Kool, Cia, Volga, Nabooru, the uWo’s Hollywood ReDead, Gomess & Grim Creeper, Arrow Club’s Fin Balure, Ruto, Bad Croc Scaly & Torbevito, The Dark Forces’ Ghirahim, Zant, Militron, Lupay & Harlequin, and even Gold Lynel. They all fell in the Triforce Tournament, but they all have a chance at redemption! Who will be the one that outlasts 20 to have their own golden opportunity?
The bell rings, and pretty much everyone looks at Gold Lynel. He’s the biggest and the baddest, so he finds himself surrounded by all 20 opponents. And then all 20 converge! The fans fire up as they all punch and kick and CLUB Lynel, but then he EXPLODES out! Lynel DECKS Groose, DECKS Donny, DECKS Volga, DECKS Zant, DECKS Gomess, and DECKS Lupay! Odolwa ROUNDHOUSES Lynel, Lynel staggers, but then he ROCKS Odolwa! Harlequin CROSSBODIES, but Lynel catches him! Lynel THROWS Harlequin up and out! Lynel ELIMINATES Harlequin! Fin CHOPS Lynel! Lynel HEADBUTTS Fin down! Zant jumps on for a SLEEPER!
The fans are actually cheering Zant for once, but Lynel reaches back, and he THROWS Zant over the ropes! Lynel ELIMINATES Zant! Lupay SUPERKICKS Lynel! Lynel shakes that off and glares at Lupay, then grabs him with both hands! Lynel THROWS Lupay out onto Harlequin and Zant! Lynel ELIMINATES Lupay! ReDead BOOTS Lynel! Ghirahim CHOPS Lynel! Lynel DECKS ReDead, but Yunobo RAMS Lynel! Lynel staggers, Scaly RAMS him! Militron RAMS Lynel, too! Yunobo, Scaly and Militron all run, TRIPLE SHOULDER TACKLES!! The fans are all fired up as Lynel is dazed, and the others all swarm him again!
As big as Lynel is, when it’s Militron, Yunobo, Scaly, Groose, even ReDead, Odolwa and Nabooru working together, they all hoist him up and over the top rope! They DUMP Lynel out of the ring and ELIMINATE him!! The fans are thunderous as the One True Monster is no longer a threat to the champions of Hyrule! Lynel is furious and wants back in, but he stands down as it’s still 16v1. Lynel leaves in a huff, and now the remaining entrants battle each other! Nabooru and Ruto scrap as old rivals, the rest of Arrow Club go after the uWo, and Cia & Volga go after Ghirahim together. Yunobo throws heavy hands with Militron as fans chant “MEAT! MEAT!”
Fin CHOPS ReDead, but ReDead ROCKS Fin in return. Gomess throws body shots on Scaly, and Creeper CHOKES Torbevito on the ropes! Fin fires hands on ReDead, Creeper goes after Fin, and Torbevito CLUBS Creeper from behind. Ghirahim kicks Volga, CHOPS Cia, then ROCKS Volga! Cia ENZIGIRIS Ghirahim, Volga THROWS Ghirahim over the top rope, but Ghirahim lands safe on the apron. Volga takes a swing, Ghirahim blocks it to ROCK Volga! Cia runs up but Ghirahim RAMS into her! Ghirahim slips in and CHOPS Volga down! Odolwa BOOTS Ghirahim down! Ashei ROCKS Odolwa and reels him in for a fireman’s carry!
Ashei aims for ropes, but Odolwa grabs ropes to fight back. Odolwa slips free and mule kicks Ashei! Nabooru has Ruto up on the top rope but Ruto clings on for dear life! Torbevito kicks Nabooru to save Ruto. Ruto ROCKS Nabooru in the back with a forearm! Ruto and Torbevito work together and have Nabooru on the ropes now. Groose JABS Donny, fans shout “GROOSE!” Donny JABS JABS, “You Better Believe It!” “GROOSE!” JAB JAB, “You Better Believe It!” Scaly CLOBBERS Donny into Groose! Gomess goes after Scaly again, Scaly puts Gomess in the corner and stomps a mudhole in! Donny gets up to go after Scaly!
Scaly DECKS Donny, Gomess ROCKS Scaly, then pushes him onto the ropes. ReDead helps Gomess lift Scaly, but Fin goes after Gomess. Torbevito runs up on ReDead and uses the ropes, WHIRL- NO, ReDead stops the DDT! ReDead atomic drops Torbevito, then THROWS Torbevito up and over! Torbevito grabs the ropes, ReDead goes after his hands, Scaly kicks Gomess away and CLUBS ReDead! Torbevito drags ReDead over the ropes while Scaly DUMPS him up and out, Arrow Club ELIMINATES ReDead! The fans cheer, but then Gomess comes back and he DROPKICKS Scaly into Torbevito! Torbevito falls to the floor, ELIMINATED!
Gomess fires off hands on Scaly, Nabooru and Ruto go back and forth with forearms, but then Ruto KNEES low! Ruto whips, Nabooru reverses, but Ruto grabs ropes to stop herself! Nabooru runs up, Ruto pops her up and over, but Nabooru lands safe on the apron! Ruto kicks low, but Nabooru blocks! Nabooru holds onto Ruto’s foot to keep from falling off the apron, and this pulls Ruto into the ropes! Ruto flails but she can’t reach Nabooru! Nabooru pulls herself back to the apron and DRAGON SCREWS Ruto in the ropes! Ruto falls back and Nabooru rolls back into the ring. Nabooru drags Ruto up and throws her over and out to ELIMINATE her!
Creeper runs up on Nabooru and fires off fast hands. The fans boo but Nabooru HEADBUTTS him in return. But then ReDead LARIATS Nabooru up and out of the ring to ELIMINATE her! The fans boo but ReDead & Creeper high-five. Donny and Groose go after them, Gomess goes after Groose. Ashei waistlocks Gomess to GERMAN SUPLEX! Odolwa WHEEL KICKS Ashei! Creeper kicks Odolwa low, fires forearms, but Odolwa UPPERCUTS Creeper! Cia DROPKICKS Odolwa and Odolwa staggers to the ropes. Volga hurries after Odolwa and tries to lift him up and out. Odolwa kicks free of Volga, then JUMP KICKS him down!
Cia jumps on Odolwa for a SLEEPER! Odolwa grabs at Cia, THROWS her down, and Cia goes to a corner. Odolwa stomps Cia, Ashei CLOBBERS Odolwa into the corner! Ashei and Cia work together to lift Odolwa up onto the ropes. Odolwa fights back, kicks Ashei away, but Volga comes running in! Odolwa TOSSES Volga up and out of the ring to ELIMINATE him! Odolwa then SUPERKICKS Ashei! Cia fires furious fists, but Odolwa DUMPS her out! Cia lands on the apron, Odowla brawls with Ashei. Cia stands up, Odolwa SHOVES Ashei into her! Cia falls, but Volga is there to catch her! The fans cheer while Volga helps Cia back up.
Odolwa scoops Ashei, swings around, and Ashei’s feet hit Cia! Cia falls onto Volga and to the floor, ELIMINATED! The fans boo, but Ashei fights free. Ashei fireman’s carries Odolwa, and then military presses him! But Odolwa slips free! And he LARIATS Ashei up and out to ELIMINATE her! Odolwa talks trash, as this is payback for losing to her in the tournament. But then Gomess LARIATS Odolwa up and out of the ring to ELIMINATE him! Gomess turns around into a CHOP from Fin! Scaly ROCKS ReDead with a big right hand! Creeper jumps on Scaly’s back for a SLEEPER! Scaly claws at him, but ReDead returns to BOOT Scaly!
Fin CHOPS ReDead again, but ReDead ROCKS Fin! ReDead pushes Fin against the ropes and CHOKES him! The fans boo, but Fin breaks free and turns things around to CHOP ReDead again! And CHOPS, CHOPS, CHOPS! Scaly still has Creeper on him like a backpack as he runs at ReDead! Scaly LARIATS ReDead and himself up and over, bringing Creeper along for the ride! TRIPLE ELIMINATION!! Fin is shocked, but now he’s the only Arrow Club member left in the match! Ghirahim CHOPS Fin! Militron and Yunobo RAM into each other again! And again! And again! The fans again chant “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!”
Yunobo RAMS Militron, Militron rebounds and he RAMS Yunobo again! Yunobo rebounds, but Militron scoops him for a SCRAPBUSTER! The fans boo, but Groose JABS Militron! Donny JABS JABS Militron, “You Better Believe It!” Groose JABS Militron again, “GROOSE!” Donny JABS JABS, “You Better Believe it!” “GROOSE!” JAB JAB “You Better Believe It!” Now Groose joins the rhythm, “GROOSE GROOSE! You Better Believe It! GROOSE GROOSE! You Better Believe It!” Groose & Donny double whip Militron to ropes, but Militron DOUBLE LARIATS! Well, no, Groose ducked that but Donny is down!
Groose runs up and he LARIATS Militron! But Militron stays up! Groose runs and LARIATS again, but Militron still stays up! Groose runs again, but into a POP-UP POWERBOMB! Militron roars, the fans boo, but Donny runs up to fire more fists! No more jabs, Donny be firing haymakers! The fans fire up behind Donny, and is he glowing? Militron takes a swing, but Donny leans back, propped up by his tail! Then Donny springs up to STUNNER! Militron drops to a knee, Donny runs up, POPPIN’ MY COLLAR BONE! HIDDEN BLADE!! Ghirahim blindsides Donny, hauls him up and THROWS him out to ELIMINATE him!
The fans boo, but Ghirahim just smiles and takes a bow. But the RIGHT HAND O’ THE GODDESS finds him! The fans fire up for Groose, but Gomess creeps up behind him. But Yunobo turns Gomess around to HEADBUTT! Gomess staggers, Groose sees him, RIGHT HAND O’ THE GODDESS! Gomess staggers around again, Yunobo TOSSES him up and out to ELIMINATE him! No more UnderWorld Order in this match, and we’re down to five! Ghiram tells Militron to get up, they’re the only ones on the same team at this point. But this just gets Groose, Yunobo & Fin to go after them, 3v2!
Fin fires shots on Ghirahim while Yunobo and Groose go after big Militron! Yunobo & Groose double whip, but Militron reverses to send Yunobo away. Groose JABS Militron, Yunobo rebounds, but Militron sidesteps so Yunobo CLOBBERS Groose! Yunobo apologizes, Militron BLINDSIDE LARIATS Yunobo! Fin CHOPS Ghirahim in a corner, but Ghirahim turns that around to CHOP him! Ghirahim CHOPS again and again and again, then feeds Fin to Militron! POP-UP- NO! Fin rains down fists to fight the bomb! Fin slips free, fires hands on Militron, but Ghirahim storms up. Fin ELBOWS Ghirahim away!
Militron kicks Fin low to suplex! Fin flails, lands safe on the apron, and he facelock GUILLOTINES Militron across the top rope! The fans rally for Fin, but then Ghirahim runs up to SHOVE both Militron and Fin off the apron! DOUBLE ELIMINATION! The fans boo but Ghirahim just shrugs. All he cares about is winning, and he’s part of the final three! Ghirahim watches as Groose and Yunobo finally get up. The fans rally, Ghirahim storms up on Yunobo to fire hands! The fans boo, but then Yunobo blocks a shot and he ROCKS Ghirahim! Ghirahim comes back to ROCK Yunobo, then CHOP Yunobo!
Ghirahim ROCKS Yunobo again, but then Groose hooks Ghirahim’s arms! Ghirahim fights the chicken wings, BOOTS Yunobo away, but Groose turns Ghirahim around! Ghirahim shoves Groose away, then CHOPS! Groose clutches his chest as he falls back, but a glowing Yunobo runs up to POUNCE Ghirahim up and out of the ring to ELIMINATE him!! The fans are thunderous as it’s now just Yunobo and Groose! Yunobo helps Groose to his feet, and the fans rally as the two stare down. They circle, the fans duel, and the fists start flying! The fans cheer as Groose ROCKS Yunobo, but then Yunobo ROCKS Groose!
The fans duel, “GROOSE! GORO~! GROOSE! GORO~!” as the shots go back and forth again. Groose kicks low, fires body shots, then HEADBUTTS! But that hurts Groose! Groose still ducks ‘n’ dodges Yunobo to then RAM him! Yunobo comes back, but Groose gets around to chicken wing the arms! The fans rally as Yunobo fights against the turn, and he booty bumps Groose away! Yunobo runs, GORO GORO- NO, Groose KNEES Yunobo out of the gore! Groose brings Yunobo up, aims for the ropes, and whips, only for Yunobo to turn it around! Groose goes up and out, YUNOBO WINS!
Winner: Yunobo
The fans are thunderous while Groose is rather stunned! Yunobo stands tall, and is now the #1 contender to whatever title he wants! Yunobo grabs a mic, and after the crowd calms down, he says, “Um… H-Hi. This is really a surreal moment. I know only last year, I won the Triforce Tournament, but I’m not upset missing out on the finals this year. Th-that’s not because I just won the battle royal, but because I made some bad choices after winning. But this year, I’m going to make a choice that I can be proud of. I want to honor my family’s legacy by going after the championship my grandfather fought so hard for. I want to be Death Mountain Champion!”
The fans cheer, but Yunobo wanting the Death Mountain Championship means he’s calling out Igos du Ikana! Will Yunobo knock the Ruler of Ruin off his throne? Or will he fail to climb Death Mountain?
HPW Triforce Tournament Triple Threat Finals: GANON VS Sidon VS Thunderbird!
The Sixth Triforce Tournament comes to a close, with the Gerudo Ace returning to where it all began. He is once again the Triforce of Power, but he meets new contenders from the Brackets of Wisdom and Courage. Will Ganon add the trophy to his Triple Crown? Or will someone else have their chance at the Triforce World Championship?
The introductions are made, the trophy is on display, and we see whose name goes down in history!
The bell rings and the fans rally up. The three circle, feel things out, and Thunderbird elbows Sidon! Ganon ROCKS Thunderbird, then stomps away in the corner! The fans boo, but Sidon storms up to fire forearms on Ganon! Ganon DECKS Sidon, but Thunderbird CHOPS Ganon! Ganon seethes and CHOPS Thunderbird off his feet! Ganon then turns around to drag Sidon up. Ganon DECKS Sidon again, then stomps away at the center of the ring. The fans boo, but Ganon whips Sidon at Thunderbird, only for Thunderbird to BOOT Sidon down! Thunderbird rushes Ganon but Ganon CLOBBERS him! Ganon deadlift suplexes Thunderbird, covers, TWO!
Sidon comes back but Ganon kicks him low. Ganon RAMS Sidon into buckles, Sidon throws down some elbows, but Ganon clinches to OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY SUPLEX Sidon! Thunderbird gets up, Ganon RAMS him into the other corner, and then gives him an OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! Ganon seethes while the fans boo, and Ganon watches the other two closely. Thunderbird gets up first, takes a swing, but Ganon ROCKS him first! Ganon fires off with haymaker after haymaker, then whips Thunderbird to ropes. Thunderbird comes back and Ganon BACKDROPS him! Thunderbird flounders to the ropes, Ganon runs up, but Thunderbird DUMPS him out!
The fans fire up as Thunderbird takes aim, and he PLANCH- NO, Ganon moves! Thunderbird lands safe on the apron, but Sidon slides out and YANKS him down! Thunderbird hits the apron, but Ganon CLOBBERS Sidon! The fans boo but Ganon drags Thunderbird up to SMACK him off the commentary desk! Ganon clears the desk and commentary backs up. Ganon reels Thunderbird in, hoists him up, but Thunderbird RANAS Ganon into the apron! The fans fire up, and Sidon returns to CHOP Ganon! Ganon staggers away, Sidon CHOPS Thunderbird, but Thunderbird punches back. Ganon pulls the steel steps apart!
The fans boo as Ganon runs up and RAMS Thunderbird down! Ganon drops the steps, storms up on Sidon, but Sidon fires hands first. Ganon ROCKS Sidon, then shoves him at the barriers! Ganon CHOPS Sidon and Sidon slumps down. Thunderbird runs up, and he uses the steps to launch himself! Thunderbird CROSSBODIES Ganon down! The fans fire up, Thunderbird drags Ganon over to the desk. Thunderbird tries to pick Ganon up but he’s really big. Ganon throws elbows on Thunderbird but Sidon ROCKS Ganon! Sidon and Thunderbird work together to DOUBLE URENAGE Ganon through the table!!
The fans are thunderous while Ganon is down in the wreckage! Thunderbird and Sidon leave Ganon behind to go into the ring. The fans rally as these two circle now and feel things out. They tie up, Thunderbird wrenches to a wristlock, but Sidon rolls, spins, and wrenches in return. Thunderbird reaches for ropes, Sidon keeps him back, then Sidon wrangles Thunderbird with a top wristlock. Thunderbird kips up, handsprings back, then slips through and reels Sidon into a COBRA TWIST! The fans duel as Sidon endures, and Sidon fights his way around to switch the COBRA TWIST onto Thunderbird!
Thunderbird pries at the hold, gets a leg free and he HIP TOSSES Sidon! Sidon gets up, Thunderbird rushes him to whip, but Sidon reverses. Thunderbird comes back to tilt-o-whirl and DDT! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer as Sidon stays in this, but Thunderbird keeps Sidon down with an armlock. Thunderbird grinds the shoulder but Sidon endures and the fans rally up. Sidon rolls, spins, and reaches up to TWISTING HEADSCISSOR! Sidon holds Thunderbird down, then pushes up to put on the pressure. Thunderbird endures, even as Sidon pushes up for more pressure. Sidon rests back but Thunderbird bridges and rolls back.
Thunderbird pops out of the headscissors, Sidon ducks the Penalty Kick to sunset flip! TWO, and now Thunderbird ducks a Penalty Kick to sunset flip, to then jackknife bridge! TWO, both men scramble up, Sidon ELBOWS Thunderbird! Thunderbird SOBATS, KICKS, and SOBATS again! Thunderbird runs, Sidon follows, but Thunderbird goes Matrix to duck the lariat! Thunderbird CALF KICKS Sidon, Sidon staggers back to the ropes and rebounds, and Thunderbird drop toeholds him down! Thunderbird shifts to hook the leg, STF! Sidon flails, reaches out, but it’s not like ropebreaks will do much in a Triple Threat.
Wait, Ganon is back on his feet! Ganon storms up to the apron, Thunderbird lets Sidon go to ELBOW Ganon back down! Ganon staggers, Thunderbird builds speed, and Thunderbird DIVES! Direct hit and both men fall onto the wreckage of the desk! The fans fire up, Thunderbird hurries back to the ring, but into a FLAPJACK! Sidon holds on and rolls back to a HALF CRAB! Thunderbird endures as Sidon sits deep on the hold! Thunderbird reaches out for the ropes, but Sidon drags him back. Thunderbird turns over, kicks at Sidon, but Sidon grabs that leg, too! Sidon works on turning Thunderbird over again, but Thunderbird FLINGS Sidon away!
The fans fire up as Thunderbird and Sidon hurry to their feet, and Sidon ROCKS Thunderbird! Thunderbird BACKHANDS Sidon! Sidon UPPERCUTS Thunderbird, whips, but Thunderbird reverses! Sidon goes up and out to the apron, Thunderbird runs up, but Sidon ducks the lariat! Sidon throws Thunderbird down by his mask, but Thunderbird kips up! Thunderbird CHOPS Sidon, Sidon flops to the apron and then the floor, and Thunderbird builds speed! But Ganon trips Thunderbird! Ganon drags Thunderbird out and THROWS him at the barriers! Ganon storms into the ring, and he builds speed?! Ganon then rebounds off the ropes to flip everyone off.
The fans boo, Ganon laughs, but Sidon springboards in! FLYING RANA! Ganon is sent tumbling away, Thunderbird springboards in! Sidon dodges, Thunderbird rolls through the landing, and both men rebound, into a DOUBLE CROSSBODY! Both Sidon and Thunderbird are down and the fans are thunderous! Ganon rises up, goes to the apron, but then Sidon and Thunderbird both kip up! And they’re glowing? There’s been a lot of glowing lately, what’s that about? Ganon storms into the ring, the three reset, and the fans rally up. Ganon swings on Thunderbird, Thunderbird dodges to swing on Sidon but Sidon dodges.
Sidon RAMS Ganon but Ganon stays put. Thunderbird comes back, Sidon moves and the DROPKICK hits Ganon! Ganon staggers back, rebounds, but both Thunderbird and Sidon dodge the double lariats! Thunderbird runs up, tilt-o-whirls, but Ganon stops the DDT! Ganon throws Thunderbird to Sidon, Sidon catches Thunderbird into a waistlock! They go to ropes, Thunderbird bucks the O’Conner, but Sidon comes right back, into a SUPERKICK! Sidon wobbles, Ganon reels him in for a NECKBREAKER! Ganon kips up, clutches his back a second, and Thunderbird springboards to DRAGON RANA! Cover, SIDON BREAKS IT!
“This is Awesome!” as all three men are down again! Thunderbird kicks at Sidon from the mat, upset about what just happened, but Sidon gets mad at the kicks. Sidon lunges to throw a forearm, Thunderbird gives it back. Sidon swings again but Thunderbird catches him to a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! The fans rally while Sidon endures, but Ganon grabs Thunderbird’s legs! Ganon deadlifts Thunderbird to GANON BOMB him onto Sidon’s back!! The fans boo, but Ganon then drags Thunderbird up into underhooks for the DEMISE DRIVER!! But Ganon isn’t done there, as he goes to the corner and watches Sidon.
Sidon slowly stands up, he stares Ganon down, and Sidon grins? Sidon dares Ganon to bring it! KICK OF CALAMITY!! Cover, Ganon wins!
Winner: Ganon, by pinfall (2025 Triforce Tournament winner)
Sidon and Thunderbird fought valiantly, but it seems there was no stopping the Gerudo Ace from winning the prize. HPW General Manager Nicholas Foolyere brings the trophy into the ring, hands it to Ganon, and Ganon holds it up. The pyro goes off, in red, green and gold. Ganon will return to the Triforce World Championship, but which classic rival will he face?
Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship: Link VS Zelda!
There’s a lot of history here. The Hero of Hyrule is the historic inaugural and THREE-TIME Triforce Champion. The Princess of Hyrule is the longest-reigning Goddess Champion at a full TWO YEARS. And Zelda put it on herself that this is her ONE FINAL chance! It’s now or never, all or nothing! Will Zelda finally be Undisputed?
Speaking of history, Link and Zelda are wearing remakes of the classic gear they wore five years ago! Zelda even has the Sheik turban loosely wrapped around the top of her head. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is truly the best in the world!
The bell rings, the fans are thunderous already, but the two stare down. The fans start to duel, “Let’s Go, Zelda!” “Let’s Go, Link!” Link and Zelda slowly circle, the fans rally up, and the two approach. They feel things out, circle a bit more, then knuckle lock. They go shoulder to shoulder in a Test of Strength, but Link is already pushing Zelda back. Zelda uses that to turn things around and put Link on the ropes. Zelda still pushes her shoulder into Link but Tiger Sahasrahla counts the ropebreak. The two let go slowly, and Zelda backs off while the fans applaud. The two reset, the fans rally again, and Zelda slips around to waistlock.
Link switches, Zelda breaks free to wrench. Link wrenches and wristlocks in return but Zelda rolls, bridges, spins, and gets free. Fans cheer the exchange and the two reset again. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, Zelda headlocks and hits a takeover, but Link headscissors. Zelda kips free, has a leg, and spins through for a toehold. Link chinbars his way to the chinlock but Zelda slips out the back and drop toeholds Link down. Zelda floats around to a facelock, but Link fights up. Link shoves Zelda away, they tie up again, and Link puts Zelda back on the ropes. Sahasrahla counts, Zelda turns things around again, so Sahasrahla restarts the count.
Zelda lets off slowly, but then fakes a chop! Zelda smirks and boops Link on the nose. Link sighs but the fans applaud as Zelda backs off. They reset again, tie up, and Zelda wrenches to then tilt-o-whirl RANA, but Link handsprings through! The fans applaud, but Zelda storms up to clinch and whip. Link reverses, but then Zelda counters the hip toss to an arm-drag and armlock, that Zelda then rolls and turns Link over for ghost pin! TWO, but Zelda stays hooked on Link’s arms! The fans rally as Link powers through to sit up! Link fights to his feet, but Zelda shifts to an IRON OCTOROK! Link powers through again to fireman’s carry!
Zelda flails and gets away, but then Link avoids the uppercut! Link shoves Zelda to ropes, but Zelda blocks the chop! Zelda wrenches but Link avoids the Pele! Link grabs a leg, Zelda rolls and reels Link in, but Link uses that to BOW ‘N’ ARROW! Zelda pops free, covers, ONE, and Link arm-drags! The two stand off and the fans chant, “This is Wrestling! This is Wrestling!” Link rushes up, Zelda sweeps the leg and covers, ONE! Link sweeps the legs to cover, ONE! Link feints superkick, and then he boops Zelda’s nose in return! The fans cheer while Link smirks and Zelda sarcastically smirks back. The two then reset and circle again.
The two tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, ZSJ wrenches and wristlocks, then they knuckle lock. Zelda rolls and traps an arm but Link fights the tweak! Zelda pushes and pushes, and TWEAKS the arm! Zelda goes for that arm, Link whips her away and they RAM shoulders! Fans cheer as neither falls, so Zelda runs again and RAMS Link! Link stays up, kicks and headlocks, but Zelda powers up and out. They RAM shoulders again, Link rebounds to run Zelda over! The fans cheer while Link looms over Zelda, then stalks her to a corner. Zelda stands, and Link CHOPS! The fans “WOO~!” while Zelda sputters and sits down. Link eggs Zelda on while the fans duel.
Zelda stands, Link whips her corner to corner, Zelda reverses but Link goes up and over. Link keeps moving, Zelda ducks the lariat and comes back to SHOTGUN Link down! The fans fire up while Zelda hurries to cover, TWO! Zelda keeps Link down with a cravat and cranks the neck. Link endures and fights up as the fans rally. Link clubs the arms to get free, but Zelda just cravats again! Link rolls, but Zelda rolls with him to hold on! Fans cheer as they both stand, and Zelda snapmares, only for Link to handspring through! SUPERKICK! Zelda wobbles, Link whips, Zelda reverses, but Link RANAS! Zelda tumbles out while fans fire up.
Link goes to the ropes, takes aim, and PLANCHAS, but Zelda moves! Link lands on the apron, Zelda slides into the ring, but ROCKS Zelda first! Link steps in, but Zelda grabs a leg, DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! Link is stuck in the ropes, and Zelda KICKS him in the chest! The fans fire up while Link coughs and flops to the mat. Zelda stalks him, then runs up to PENALTY KICK an arm! Link clutches his elbow while he writhes on the ground, and Zelda’s right after him! Link kicks at Zelda and she backs off, picking her spot. Link gets up and shields his left arm, then CHOPS! Zelda still goes for the left arm, Link slips past her, then CHOPS!
Link CHOPS again, but Zelda HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTTS! Link wobbles, Zelda runs, but Link SUPER- NO, Zelda blocks that to an ANKLE LOCK! Then KNEEBAR!! Link is caught but he flails for the ropes! Zelda shifts to a HALF CRAB, then a toehold! Zelda wants the crossface but Link has the ROPEBREAK! Sahasrahla counts, Zelda lets go and fans fire up. Zelda eggs Link on, the fans rally up, and Zelda brings Link to his feet. Zelda UPPERCUTS, Link CHOPS again! The fans fire up, Zelda nods, and she UPPERCUTS again! Link grimaces as he stays up, and he CHOPS again! Zelda eggs Link on, then she catches the chop to UPPERCUT the arm!
Link now clutches his right elbow, Zelda whips just to WRING the arm! Zelda jumps on to go for the chicken wing! Link scrambles around to fight off the Impa Lock, reaches out for ropes, but then Zelda shifts to chicken wing that arm! IMPA LOCK!! The fans are thunderous as Link endures and keeps moving around! Link kicks and reaches out, ROPEBREAK!! The fans cheer, Sahasrahla counts, and Zelda lets go at 4. Zelda is a bit frustrated, but she stalks Link to a corner. Zelda wraps his arms around ropes and pulls! The fans are torn, Sahasrahla counts, and Zelda lets go at 4, to KICK Link in the chest again!
Link coughs and sputters, but Zelda stands him up to KICK again! Link staggers, Zelda KICKS, but Link blocks! Zelda tries a punch but Link blocks that, too, to DRAGON SCREW ARM-DRAG COMBO! The fans fire up as Link waits on Zelda to sit up, then he runs in, but Zelda ducks the Shining Wizard! And the Boomerang! Zelda has a leg, DRAGON- NO, Link steps through the Dragon Screw and rolls to fireman’s carry Zelda! BOMBOS MEDALLION! Cover, TWO! The fans are thunderous as Link takes aim again. Zelda sits up, Link hesitates, but he still BUZZSAWS and HEEL KICKS! Link then brings Zelda up into the clinch! BLADE-
NO, Zelda slips free of Bladerunner to chicken wing an arm! Link fights around the Impa Lock again, Zelda switches arms again, but Link arm-drags free! Zelda hurries back up, but into a MASTER SWORD! Zelda flops out of the ring before Link can cover! The fans are thunderous again while Link is frustrated. Sahasrahla starts a ring count while Link waits on Zelda to get up. Zelda is dazed but she sits up at 4 of 10, then staggers to her feet at 6. Link builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit at the ramp and the fans fire up again! Link hurries to get Zelda into the ring, then he goes up top! ICE ARROW, but Link has to bail out as Zelda moves!
Zelda runs up and hops onto Link for a CODE- NO, Link stops the Code Red and FLINGS Zelda back! Zelda lands out, MASTER SWORD! The fans are thunderous again as Link underhooks Zelda and gets her up for TEARS- NO, Zelda slips free to hit CODE RED after all!! Cover, TWO!!! Zelda almost had Link, and the fans are electric while both of them are down! “This is Awesome!” as Link stirs. Zelda stands and hobbles over while the fans rally. Zelda stands Link up, but Link fires a forearm! There wasn’t much to it, but Zelda still scowls. Zelda UPPERCUTS! Link wobbles, but he comes back to throw another forearm!
Zelda shrugs that off to UPPERCUT! Zelda eggs Link on, Link shakes out his arms and winds up to ROCK Zelda! The fans fire up while Zelda staggers. Zelda comes back to UPPERCUT and UPPERCUT and UPPERCUT from both sides! Link drops to his knees and fans fire up again! Zelda stands Link back up, but Link breaks free and SUPERKICKS! And SUPERKICKS! The legs still work, but then Zelda blocks the third shot to reel Link and scoop! Link flails and gets free, then shoves Zelda. Zelda comes back, Link SUPERKICKS again! Zelda drops to her knees, Link grabs her arms! LIGHT- NO, Zelda ducks the knee!
Zelda stands up and she has Link in a pump handle, MINUET OF FOREST! TWO!! Link gets free in time, swings, but Zelda ducks it to half nelson! REQUIEM OF SPIRIT, but Link lands out! HOOK SHOT KICK! Link reels Zelda in, suplexes, FALCON- STUN DOG MILLIONAIRE!! Link staggers, Zelda unleashes the BOLERO OF FIRE! ENZIGIRI and Link staggers around. Zelda reels Link in for a SERENADE OF WATER! Then Zelda underhooks him into a NOCTURNE OF SHADOW! The fans rally harder as Link fights the butterfly guillotine hold! Link reaches out, but Zelda grabs that free arm to add a KIMURA on top of this!
The fans rally as hard as they can as Link still fights! Link kicks with his legs, but Zelda lets go to shift around and body scissors! Zelda rolls back and drags Link into a SHEIKAH LEG ROLL CLUTCH! TWO!! Link escapes in time, they both hurry to their feet, and DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Neither falls, Link tries again but Zelda BOOTS the lariat away, and BACK ELBOWS at the same time! Zelda manages to sunset flip from there, high stacks, TWO as Link pops Zelda into the sunset flip! TWO and Zelda sits on the cover! TWO and Link sunset flips again, TWO! Zelda runs up to PENALTY KICK! Now Zelda grabs Link’s arms!
Zelda winds up, but Link reels Zelda in and slips around to roll her up! TWO, but Link deadlifts Zelda! Zelda shifts around for an ARMBAR TAKEDOWN! Link fights that, but ends up in a TRIANGLE HOLD! Zelda throws down elbows and squeezes tight with her legs! Link endures and stays on his feet. Link drags Zelda along, and he reaches out with his feet! Zelda rolls back and THROWS Link over with her leg! Zelda sits on a cover! TWO as Link bridges up!! Link is free of Zelda’s legs, staggers to his feet, Zelda jumps on him for a GUILLOTINE, with body scissors! The fans rally as hard as they can as Link again fights to stay on his feet!
Link stomps his way forward, reaching out for ropes! Zelda lets go of the guillotine but not the body scissors, and she shifts over to KIMURA the arm! Link almost falls, but he still has his other arm to brace himself! Link powers up to stand again, and he slips an arm into the body scissors! Link scoops Zelda, Zelda slips free, then reels Link into the PRELUDE OF LIGHT PLEX! Zelda rolls back, but then top mounts, HYLIAN ACTUAL KISS?!? The fans go nuts and even Sahasrahla is stunned! But then he realizes Link’s shoulders are down so it’s a cover! TWO?!!? Link pushes Zelda away, and she is absolutely shocked!
Zelda slowly looks over at Link and shouts, “What, the absolute f-” Link stops her there by saying she’s the one weaponizing a kiss! The fans are going wild as Link and Zelda stare down and stand up, their match turning into a lover’s spat! Zelda SLAPS, SLAPS, and SLAPS, but Link shoots in and fireman’s carries! Zelda slips free, shoves Link, but Link comes back, into a KNEE down low! Zelda then scoops and SHEIKAH DRIVER!!! Cover, ZELDA WINS!!!
Winner: Zelda, by pinfall (NEW Undisputed HPW Triforce World Champion)
The arena erupts as Zelda suddenly shuts this down! It’s a standing ovation while both Link and Zelda down, exhausted from this true epic! The fans continue to applaud, and then Zelda slowly sits back up. She scoots around so she can look at Link. They talk while Zelda rests her forehead on his. They both seem rather emotional, but also smiling. Zelda helps Link stand up, and Nick Foolyere returns so that he can present the title to the new champion. Zelda tears up even more as he helps her put it around her waist for the very first time. The fans cheer more as Foolyere fetches a microphone for Zelda to speak.
Fans chant, “You Deserve It!” and Zelda beams with a big smile. She wipes away a tear, thanks everyone for saying that. “This is so surreal. I know there are many of you who have supported me since day one, and I could spend forever telling you how much that means to me. I know my biggest supporters are actually here in this ring. My father, Nicholas Foolyere, and of course, Link. I could spend forever telling you two how much you mean to me, and I don’t think it’d be enough. But I do want to say that-” Wait, there’s a commotion, and Ganon is storming his way down the ramp, Triforce Trophy in hand, and The Dark Forces at his back.
Link and Zelda stand their ground, even though this is 7v2. But then Yunobo, Sidon, Thunderbird, and a few others from the battle royal hurry out from backstage to flank The Dark Forces from behind! The fans cheer as Ganon and his goons find themselves surrounded in a more even fight! But then Tali slithers in from the crowd side?! Shabonne shouts, “SUP, CHAMP?!” This gets Link and Zelda to turn around, Tali runs up, and Link shoves Zelda aside! Link takes the SPEAR!! Zelda is furious and she rushes Tali! They brawl, things spill out to the floor, and the rest of the Dark Forces brawl with Yunubo and the others!
The fans are going nuts as it is chaos all over ringside! Security, referees and even producers rush out but stopping this is easier said than done! Tali RAMS Zelda into steel steps, knocking them apart! Ganon storms up, Tali strips the belt off of Zelda, and she hands it to Ganon! Is Tali with the Dark Forces now?! Ganon grins as he sees Link sputtering back up. Ganon slides into the ring, and Tali drags Zelda up to make her watch as Ganon CLOBBERS Link with the belt!! Zelda is furious but Tali holds her down with an armlock! Link flounders out of the ring, Zant brings out handcuffs! Zant and Tali push Zelda against the apron so they can cuff one of her hands!
Tali overpowers Zelda and cuffs her to the middle rope! Ganon laughs as the Dark Forces block the way from the stage to the ramp! No one can get through as Zant fetches Link, who is busted open from the belt shot! Ganon taunts Zelda while holding up the title. Zelda tries to hit Ganon but the cuff keeps her anchored at the ropes! Zant feeds Link to Ganon for a GANON BOMB!! Zelda is enraged but she can’t get free! Ganon rains down fists on Link, painting himself with Link’s blood! Ganon even tastes the blood, and the fans tell Ganon he’s sick! Ganon shoves Link at Zelda, she reaches out for Link’s hand, but then Ganon drags Link away from her!
Ganon mockingly says, “Congratulations, Princess!” before he sits Link up, and rains down ELBOW after ELBOW after ELBOW! Link is already a ragdoll but Ganon keeps going! The fans boo as hard as they can, Zelda now has tears of anger in her eyes, but Shabonne is cheering for her new boss! “GANON~! GANON GANON GANON~! GANON~, GANON~!” Ganon shoves Link down, Tali BOOTS Zelda down, and Ganon picks up the Triforce World Championship again. Ganon holds it up as he stands over Link, and Zelda is down at the ropes, her one arm up because of the cuffs. Zelda’s moment of triumph has been utterly ruined, but is the future only going to grow darker?
My Thoughts:
Welp, another under-the-wire finish on writing this. I’ll power through to make sure Wrestling Is Life for May isn’t like that. But at the same time, I really like how everything turned out for this one, and there was some very recent developments in actual pro-wrestling that helped inspire the ending there. To be fair, I have never done a beatdown to close a show, so it works out that the first one is in year six, closing out the first of the HPW Big Four (the anniversary, Treasure Island, Clash of Fates, and of course HyruleMania). Also, the only other ideas I had were either Zelda goes Heel, or this was a “fake Zelda” probably portrayed by Hilda, and neither of those sat right with me.
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Bandwagon Nerds #282: Daddy Ganon & A Glass of Wine
A double dose of Daredevil, major Zelda news, a massive Avengers: Doomsday reveal, and Villain Madness Round of 32 matchups highlight a huge week!
This week, the NERDS give you a double dose of Daredevil: Born Again. Disney caught most of us by surprise as it dropped two very different but very good Episodes of Daredevil: Born Again. The guys break it all down for you as Matt Murdock and Wilson Fisk both cross the line and revert into Daredevil and The Kingpin. Where will things go from here? Nintendo made a massive splash as it announced the long-rumored Legend of Zelda live-action movie will be released in 2027, leading the NERDS to speculate about who will be cast in the key roles. Speaking of casting, the MCU had an epic reveal of an enormous number of people and characters that will appear in Avengers: Doomsday. Which names surprised us, and which names were we surprised to see left off the roster (so far)? Villain Madness continues with Round of 32 matchups in the Cosmic and Criminally Insane regions, and all we can say is one region saw some major upsets. All that and of course Whatcha Watchin”?
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY – Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE’s PPV/PLE history)
http://TheChairshot.com PRESENTS…IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O’Dowd’s 5X5
Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts… Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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A double dose of Daredevil, major Zelda news, a massive Avengers: Doomsday reveal, and Villain Madness Round of 32 matchups...
Musical Chairs Special Edition- Evolution or Regression
Musical Chairs returns for a special episode as the guys look at the modern music scene and discuss whether the...
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This week the NERDS discuss Episode 4 of Daredevil Born Again and Villain Madness continues with the first round of...
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Who will Stand & Deliver?
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London is Raw!
Mitchell’s AEW Collision Results & Report! (3/29/25)
AEW's back in the Good Land!
Mindless Wrestling Podcast: Mania News, Notes & Nuggets
Tune into another episode of The Mindless Wrestling podcast as the boys are firmly on the Road to WrestleMania!
Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)
SmackDown in the UK!
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Will John Cena win the WWE Title and retire at Wrestlemania?
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Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won't...
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