The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 17

Summer is only heating up in Hyrule, but taking a dip in Skull Lake means defeat! Will Cia leave Lana behind to head back for the HPW Goddess title?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Eventide Island Challenge Battle Royal: Riju, Ghirahim, Midna, Master Stalfos, Hilda & “Kage” qualify for the Treasure Island 2 Eventide Challenge.
• HPW Triforce Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ganondorf VS Yuga; Yuga wins and will challenge Link for the title at Treasure Island 2.
• HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Skull Lake Street Fight: Cia VS Lana; Lana wins and will challenge Zelda for the title at Treasure Island 2.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

Another iconic venue becomes the turning point towards a return to Eventide Island! But before all the titles in HPW can be on the line, they need contenders! And after frustration after frustration, the Gerudo Ace is going to hit two birds with one stone! Ganondorf will not only look to settle the score with The Artist, Yuga, for cheating him in the Triforce Tournament and taking his boar headdress, he wants to get back to the Triforce Championship! Will Link have yet another rematch with Ganondorf? Or will it be a rematch from all the way back a year ago in the first Triforce Tournament?

Speaking of rematches, things have escalated quickly with the estranged sisters, Cia and Lana! They look to put this behind them in HPW’s first ever Skull Lake Street Fight! Pinfall, tap-out or splashdown, someone loses and is left behind as the other steps up to Zelda on Treasure Island! But first, since HPW is returning to Eventide, the Eventide Challenge is returning, too! And out of a 20 Person Battle Royal, the last six will be this year’s Eventide Challenge participants! Who will be the unlucky fourteen to fail? HPW Skull Lake starts now!

Eventide Island Challenge Battle Royal!

A date with destiny awaits a select few! Ravio, Hilda, Riju, Bularia, Aveil, Doom Knocker, Darkhammer, Gooma, Garo Master, Master Kohga, Master Stalfos, The Great Fairy, Ghirahim, Fin Balure, Oaky Treetoh (with her Super Fan Club ringside), and Midna make their entrances, with The Dark Forces entering last. Wait, do the Dark Forces have a new member? Volga, Wizzro and Gibdo are joined by someone wearing an all black outfit, and even a black mask. But judging from the pointy ears and lean physique, it’s a Hylian male. Will this mysterious masked wrestler help the Dark Forces improve their odds?

The bell rings, and the Dark Forces’ new member DECKS Ravio! Chaos breaks out all around as everyone pairs off and brawls! The Doom Bringers rush the rest of the Dark Forces, Midna goes after Hilda, Ghirahim trades CHOPS with Fin, the Desert Flowers square off with the Three Masters, and Treetoh’s fans are angry with The Great Fairy as she scoops the Wooden Idol! Treetoh flails free and kicks Fairy’s leg. Treetoh HEADBUTTS Fairy, shoves her at the ropes, but she doesn’t quite have the height to get Fairy up and over. Fairy kicks Treetoh away into Kohga, and that distracts Kohga enough for Riju to waistlock for a GERMAN SUPLEX!

Doom Knocker CLUBS away on Volga but the mystery man KICKS him in the leg! Volga gets space to BOOT Knocker but Knocker stays up! The mystery man hits a BLINDSIDE ROLLING ELBOW on Knocker! Volga and the mystery man both shove Knocker at the ropes! Knocker tumbles up and over, but he holds onto the ropes! Volga goes after Knocker’s hands but Darkhammer goes after him to save Knocker! The mystery man goes after Hammer now with big haymakers! Ravio finally gets back up with no one having gone after him, but as Bularia dodges Stalfos’ boot, it hits Ravio! Stalfos is a bit surprised by that, and that distracts him so Bularia can CLOBBER him!

Wizzro jumps onto Hammer to help Volga and the mystery man and the three mug him against ropes. Knocker drags Wizzro off Hammer’s back and KNEES him hard and low. Knocker scoops Wizzro and aims for ropes, but Wizzro wriggles free and rakes Knocker’s eyes! Knocker swings blindly, and Wizzro baits him into running into Hammer! The mystery man SUPERKICKS Knocker out of the way so that Gibdo can clothesline Hammer up, out and ELIMINATE him! What a surprising first elimination! The Dark Forces then go after Knocker 4v1, but Gooma gets in to throw hands on Wizzro.

Garo whips Aveil to ropes but Aveil reverses. Garo springboards to QUEBRADA, but Aveil gets under! Garo lands on his feet, Aveil springboards now and she CROSSBODIES Garo down! Aveil gets Garo up but he throws body shots as she brings him towards ropes. Ghirahim and Fin have stopped chopping, and their chest flesh will thank them. Ghirahim KICKS Fin in the leg, Fin ROCKS Ghirahim with a forearm! Ghirahim KICKS again, Fin ROCKS Ghirahim again! Fin eggs Ghirahim on and Ghirahim grits his teeth. Ghirahim feints a kick to THROAT JAB Fin! Fin sputters, Ghirahim whips him at ropes! Ghirahim arrogantly doesn’t watch Fin go up and over, and doesn’t see Fin hold on!

Fin gets back in, Ghirahim turns around, and he gets a SLINGBLADE! Fin stomps and kicks Ghirahim then gets him up to push him towards ropes. Ghirahim holds on desperately as Fin hammers and kicks him. Meanwhile, Riju and Aveil have traded, and Aveil wraps Kohga’s leg around a rope and pulls on it. Garo kicks but Riju ducks under it to BACK HAND! Riju shoves Garo to ropes but he rolls back. Riju blocks his headscissors and KICKS his arm out! Garo falls on his face, and Riju AX KICKS him down! Meanwhile, Bularia and Stalfos are tied up collar ‘n’ elbow. They go around and around in the same corner, until Bularia reels him in for a BUCKLE SHOT!

Ravio staggers up again, fixing his bunny mask while he’s at it. He sees Midna pushing Hilda against buckles in a corner and he hurries over. Ravio pulls Midna away from Hilda but Midna CHOPS him! Hilda pulls Midna’s hair but Midna elbows her hard! Ravio jumps onto Midna’s back for a sleeper! Submissions might not win things but this could make it easier! Midna RAMS Ravio into buckles, but he holds on! Hilda rushes back in but Midna BOOTS her away! Midna runs and BACKPACK SENTONS Ravio! Ravio lets go, Midna drags him up, and as Hilda runs back over, Midna shoves Ravio into her! Hilda goes down, Midna gets Ravio up again and TOSSES him out to ELIMINATE him!

Hilda realizes she’s alone and panics a bit. Midna chases her but she scrambles away. Hilda weaves through the Dark Forces but Midna knocks them aside. Gibdo goes after Midna but she ROCKS him with a right! Hilda jumps onto Midna, trying for a sleeper of her own, but Hilda throws her down! Wizzro rushes Midna but she BOOTS him down! Midna CHOPS Volga, and ROCKS the mystery man! But then she turns around into Hilda’s SHOTGUN dropkick! Meanwhile, Ghirahim has turned things around on Fin and chokes him on the ropes! There are no disqualifications so Ghirahim doesn’t have to let off, either! Fin is fading out! Ghirahim drags him up, throws him over, Fin hits the floor, Ghirahim ELIMINATES him!!

Ghirahim gloats as Fin gets up in a daze and staggers about. But then Ghirahim turns around into Volga’s forearm smash! Volga and Wizzro stomp Ghirahim but Ghirahim holds onto the bottom rope again. Knocker and Hammer go after Volga and Wizzro, and Ghirahim crawls into a corner. Hammer TOSSES Wizzro into a different corner and fires off body shots. Knocker ROCKS Volga, the mystery man SUPERKICKS Knocker! Volga whips, Knocker reverses, but Volga holds ropes. Knocker runs at him but Volga goes up and over, and Knocker slides under! Knocker trips Volga up, drags him out of the ring and then RAMS him into the railing!

Knocker says “Loophole!” before he CHOPS Volga! But then the mystery man DIVES and hits Knocker into the railing! And since he went between ropes, he’s safe, too! Volga and the mystery man mug Knocker, Gibdo knocks Gooma over so he can’t go help. Bularia is after Garo Master now while Riju stomps away on Stalfos in a corner. Bularia fires off slapping palm strikes over and over on Garo, then spins, but into an ENZIGURI from Garo! Garo half nelsons, spins Bularia and pump handles, GARO DRIVER! Garo gets Bularia up and throws her out to ELIMINATE her! Aveil and Riju let off Kohga and Stalfos to go after Garo together, but that leaves them vulnerable!

Kohga and Stalfos CLOBBER Aveil and Riju from behind! Kohga and Garo hammer away on Aveil’s back, Stalfos CLUBS Riju, and then the Three Masters throw both Aveil and Riju up and over! Wait, they both hold on! Bularia is there to boost them back up and in! Riju headscissors Garo and Aveil headscissors Kohga! They’re both on the ropes, Aveil and Riju duck and dodge Stalfos to DOUBLE TIGER FEINT Kohga and Garo! Garo and Kohga stagger up and Stalfos regroups with them, to get DOUBLE SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICKS from Riju and Aveil! Fans fire up as Aveil and Riju get Garo up, throw him out and ELIMINATE him! Bularia cheers as her friends avenge her!

Meanwhile, Knocker fights off the Dark Forces. He ROCKS the mystery man and bounces Volga off the apron. Wizzro grabs at Knocker through the ropes but Knocker ROCKS him with an uppercut! Hammer hauls Wizzro up onto his shoulder and LAWN DARTS him into buckles! Wizzro staggers and Hammer clotheslines him out of the ring to ELIMINATE him! Knocker mocks Wizzro but they mystery man CLOBBERS Knocker from behind! Volga bumps Knocker off the apron and gets on the apron to GAMANGIRI Hammer away. Gooma runs in but Volga shoulders into him! Volga slingshots up and over Gooma, gets around Hammer, and shoves them into each other.

Volga gets Hammer with DDT while the mystery man holds the ropes and dumps Gooma out! Gooma stays on the apron, he and the mystery man brawl on the edge. Knocker gets in the ring from the side and he BOOTS Gibdo! Volga leaps but Knocker catches him! Knocker heads for the ropes, Gooma and the mystery man get clear, and Knocker throws Volga over! Volga hangs on, swings on Knocker but Knocker avoids it and spins. The mystery man blocks Knocker’s back hand! And gets Knocker in a HANGING TRIANGLE HOLD! Gooma tries to help Knocker but Volga’s in the way! The mystery man lets Knocker go, slides back into the ring, but Knocker comes back with a LARIAT!

Volga CHOPS Gooma, and CHOPS, and CHOPS! Gooma blocks Volga’s next chop to get him up into a torture rack! Volga flails and gets back in the ring, but Gooma grabs him and pulls him against the ropes! Gooma CLUBS away on Volga again and again and again! Hammer heads over, Gooma shoves Volga at him and Hammer scoops Volga to a gorilla press! Gooma holds the ropes down and Hammer TOSSES Volga onto Wizzro! Hammer ELIMINATES Volga! The Dark Forces are down to just Gibdo and the new guy! Gibdo rushes over and fires off on Hammer, but Gooma gets back in the ring and they mug Gibdo 2v1 in a corner.

Treetoh clings to ropes, Hilda is after her, but Midna CLUBS Hilda down! Midna CHOPS Hilda, stomps Treetoh, tells Treetoh’s fans to shut up, then CHOPS Hilda again. Midna pushes Hilda against ropes but Hilda holds on and kicks Midna away. Treetoh goes after Midna but Midna swings her around to TOSS her over and out! But Treetoh’s fans are there for her to land on! Treetoh stands on her fans’ backs, but Midna glares at her. Treetoh stays away from the ring, and her fans make a path for her to go around the way. Midna glares at Treetoh, but Hilda pulls Midna’s hair! Hilda bumps Midna off buckles while Treetoh literally walks all over her fans.

Hilda chokes Midna against ropes but Midna throws elbows to get Hilda to stop. Midna coughs, Hilda kicks but Midna blocks and throws Hilda down. Midna aims and runs in but Hilda manages to duck the Twilight Sleep! Hilda pushes Midna but can’t get her to go over the ropes. Also Treetoh has been doing a musical number while dancing on the apron. Midna and Hilda see that and decide to stop fighting each other. They run over and BLAST Treetoh off the apron, and her fans can’t save her this time! Midna and Hilda ELIMINATE Treetoh together! And then Hilda SLAPS Midna! Hilda whips but Midna blocks it! Midna reels Hilda in for a SPINEBUSTER!

Midna grounds ‘n’ pounds Hilda while Great Fairy goes after Ghirahim in a corner. Ghirahim kicks her in a leg and then bumps her off buckles. Ghirahim throws forearms on her over and over, then brings her out to throw her back at the corner. She holds onto the top rope, boots Ghirahim away, then somersaults to COMPLETE SHOT! Aveil and Riju keep on Stalfos 2v1, but Kohga pulls Aveil away. Aveil SHOTEIS Kohga but Stalfos BOOTS Riju away. Stalfos mule kicks Aveil, front kicks her, then BOOTS her into Kohga’s gut wrench to rack and POWERBOMB! Yiga Clan Secret Technique Number One! Stalfos keeps Riju down while Kohga gets Aveil back up to toss her and ELIMINATE her!

Kohga sees Great Fairy kicking Ghirahim against ropes and heads over. Kohga helps her stomp Ghirahim but Ghirahim borrows an idea from Knocker and just goes out under the bottom rope. Ghirahim then trips Great Fairy up but Kohga kicks Ghirahim through the ropes. Kohga gets Great Fairy up, and then betrays her by throwing her over! Great Fairy holds on but Ghirahim gets on the apron to go after her. Great Fairy jumps back in, to avoid Ghirahim and POSTS him! Ghirahim slumps down onto the apron, Great Fairy drags him up, but Kohga back body blocks Great Fairy in the corner! And then gets Great Fairy up in Gory Especial to swing her out for a KNEE!

Great Fairy staggers, Kohga reels her in and FLAPJACKS her onto the top rope! Great Fairy is stuck on the top rope and Kohga pushes her over and out to ELIMINATE her! Kohga turns around into a GHIRA CUTTER! Ghirahim gets Kohga up, throws him out, and ELIMINATES him! Knocker and Gooma brawl with Stalfos and Riju, Ghirahim watches from the outside, but then the mystery man CLOBBERS him! The mystery man and Gibdo stomp Ghirahim, Midna SLAPS Hilda right down, and Hilda gets in the middle of the brawling just to get away from Midna. Hilda dodges Gooma’s clothesline to shove him at Midna, who BOOTS him! But Gooma stays up!

Gooma roars, reels back but Midna CHOPS him first! Gooma roars again and still swings a clothesline but Midna catches it and spins Gooma around for a NECKBREAKER! Riju dodges Knocker’s haymaker, Stalfos HEADBUTTS Knocker into Riju’s BLOCKBUSTER! Hilda DECKS Riju then gets Knocker up to throw him up and over. Knocker holds on, Midna gets Gooma up and aims at Hilda! Midna shoves Gooma that way but Hilda moves and Gooma knocks into Knocker! Knocker falls, Gooma ELIMINATES Knocker! Gooma realizes what happened and feels awful, but then Stalfos clotheslines him out and ELIMINATES him!

The mystery man SUPERKICKS Stalfos down! Gibdo CLOBBERS Riju, but Midna BOOTS him! Hilda uppercuts the mystery man but he comes back with a sobat! Gibdo brawls with Midna, Ghirahim dragon sleepers Gibdo and suplexes, but Gibdo fights. Gibdo snapmares Ghirahim away, Midna CHOPS Gibdo. Midna gets Gibdo up but he holds onto ropes. Stalfos gets up but the mystery man RAMS him into a corner! Ghirahim goes after Gibdo, too, but Gibdo fights them off. Riju throws her whole body into Gibdo against the ropes! Ghirahim and Midna SUPERKICK BOOT COMBO! Gibdo goes up and out and hits the floor! The bell rings as we have our six!!

Winners: Riju, Ghirahim, Midna, Master Stalfos, Hilda & ???

Wait, what even is the name of the man in the black mask? He showed up with the Dark Forces but never said a word the entire match! Interview Paya nervously walks up to him, congratulates him on becoming one of the Eventide Six, and asks him his name. “Kage.” So then, will Kage cast a shadow on Treasure Island for the glory of the Dark Forces?

HPW Triforce Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ganondorf VS Yuga!

The Gerudo Ace wants payback on The Artist for taking his headdress, but he also wants to get back to the title! Will he accomplish both goals with one match? Or will Yuga put himself in the title picture instead?

The bell rings and Ganondorf stares down Yuga. The fans rally up as the two slowly start to circle. Ganondorf approaches but Yuga stays by the ropes. Ganondorf storms up but Yuga keeps his distance to keep from being cornered. Ganondorf keeps pursuing so Yuga uses the ropes as defense. Referee Tiger Sahasrahla has Ganondorf stay back and tells Yuga to get out of the ropes. Yuga tells Ganondorf to stay back as he slowly comes back, and the two circle. They approach, Yuga avoids the grapple to get behind and CLUB Ganondorf! Ganondorf gets mad and ROCKS Yuga with a right! Yuga staggers, Ganondorf shoves him into ropes and then CLOBBERS him!

There’s a bit of deja vu from this year’s Bracket of Power Finals as Yuga crawls and Ganondorf stalks him. Ganondorf shouts at Yuga, “You’re still just a stupid clown! You’re just dancing to Hilda’s tune!” Ganondorf kicks Yuga to a corner then stomps a mudhole into him. Sahasrahla counts and Ganondorf stops to run corner to corner and back again, but stops as Yuga slips out of the ring. Ganondorf goes out to the apron as Yuga staggers away. Yuga turns around into an APRON CANNONBALL! Direct hit and Yuga goes down! Fans fire up but the cameraman has to watch out as Ganondorf gets up and roars.

Sahasrahla starts the ring count but Ganondorf gets Yuga up to whip him into the steel steps! Yuga hits shoulder first and the steps go skidding away. Ganondorf looms over Yuga as the count reaches 5 of 10. Ganondorf stomps Yuga, drags him back up and gives him an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Yuga writhes but Ganondorf pushes him into the ring. Cover, TWO! Ganondorf chuckles as he looms over Yuga again. “C’mon, clown! Laugh! Draw me a painting!” Ganondorf then SLAPS Yuga, then stands on his head. Sahasrahla counts as Yuga kicks and flails, and Ganondorf steps off at 4. Ganondorf paces while watching Yuga get up slowly.

Ganondorf wrenches Yuga’s arm, YANKS on it, then reels him in to ram shoulder to shoulder! Ganondorf wrenches the arm again, and lifts Yuga with one arm! Yuga kicks and flails again but Ganondorf lets him down to reel him in for a short-arm clothesline! Ganondorf gets Yuga back up and reels him in for another! Fans are supporting Ganondorf more out of disliking him less than Yuga as he gets Yuga up again. Ganondorf wants another but Yuga dodges the short-arm clothesline this time to crucifix takedown! Cover, TWO, Ganondorf swings but Yuga dodges the clothesline to go to a corner! Yuga goes up and up for WHISPER IN THE WIND! Cover, TWO!

Yuga is frustrated but fans fire up. Yuga stomps Ganondorf, goes to the corner and climbs up. But Ganondorf gets up and goes right to the top rope! Ganondorf stands Yuga up for a SUPER BELLY2BELLY SUPLEX!! Fans lose their minds as they crash down! Cover, TWO!!? Yuga survives and shocks everyone! Ganondorf argues the count but Sahasrahla insists it was fair. Yuga crawls for his corner but Ganondorf sees him reaching for the scepter. Ganondorf drops an elbow on Yuga to keep him from the corner. Ganondorf grabs the scepter first, and Sahasrahla tells him not to use it. Ganondorf brings the scepter out of the ring, and SMACKS it on the steel steps!

Fans go nuts and Yuga shouts as Ganondorf SMACKS the steps again and again, and the scepter is breaking! Again it was just a toy with LED lights and stuff, but still! Ganondorf then tosses the thing aside and gets back in the ring. Yuga fires off furious fists! Ganondorf shoves Yuga away and then DECKS him! Yuga sits up in a daze, Ganondorf looms over him and fans rally up. Ganondorf drags Yuga up, TOSSES him into a corner and then fires off a windmill  of haymakers! Fans fire up but Sahasrahla counts and Ganondorf lets off at 4. Ganondorf runs side to side and BOOTS Yuga! Yuga staggers, falls, and flops out of the ring! Ganondorf sighs in frustration.

Ganondorf goes out after Yuga and stalks him as Yuga crawls towards the ramp side. Sahasrahla starts a ring count as Ganondorf stomps Yuga. Ganondorf drags him around to the ramp side of the ring, CLUBS him, then reels him in. Ganondorf is aiming for the ramp as he bomb lifts Yuga! Yuga flails and fights desperately, and reaches for the ropes! Yuga grabs hold, gets in to break the count, but Ganondorf still has hold of a leg! Ganondorf drags Yuga back out, bumps him off the apron, then pops him up, for a GANON BOMB to the ramp!! Ganondorf leaves Yuga behind while fans lose their minds again, and a new ring count begins!

Fans are still shouting, “HOLY S***! HOLY S***!” as the count climbs to 3 of 10. Yuga finally starts to stir around 4, and is in a daze as he crawls towards the ring. Yuga makes it over by 7, drags himself up with the apron skirt at 8, but fumbles a bit! Yuga groans and gives it a last gas, and is in at 9.9!! Ganondorf storms over but Yuga flops back out! Ganondorf has about had it with Yuga, and gets out of the ring while Yuga is trying to crawl under it! Ganondorf drags Yuga back out but Yuga kicks him away. Yuga gets all the way under, Ganondorf goes fishing for him, and brings out… Wait, that’s not Yuga, that’s Ravio in a really lame Yuga costume!

Well, alright, not that lame. The wig looks great, but with it just on top of Ravio’s bunny mask, we know it’s Ravio! When did he get under there? Though, did we even see him leave during the battle royal? Sahasrahla reprimands Ravio, he was banned from ringside for this match! Ravio argues that he is Yuga, but it’s so obvious he’s not! Ravio goes onto the apron, still claiming he’s Yuga, but the real Yuga appears from around the other side! Ganondorf yanks Ravio off the apron and shoves him down! “Get out of here, you idiot!” Ravio scurries around the way, Sahasrahla keeps shouting at him to leave, but Yuga sneaks up behind Ganondorf to LOW BLOW him from behind!

Fans boo as Yuga gets away with it and puts Ganondorf in the ring! Yuga drags Ganondorf up, hits a SIDE LEG SWEEP and then hooks the legs with his legs! Cover just like the Power of Bracket Finals, TWO!?! Ganondorf survives the screw job and Yuga can’t believe it! Ravio gets on the apron and throws his wig in anger! But now there’s absolutely no doubt he’s who he really is, and Sahasrahla tells him to leave! Ravio says, “Fine, fine! I’ll go!” Ganondorf hobbles up and glares at Yuga, and Yuga turns and runs! Ganondorf chases him into a corner, Yuga grabs at buckles! Sahasrahla counts the ropebreak but also tells Yuga to let go.

Sahasrahla counts, Ganondorf YANKS Yuga back, and a buckle pad comes off! Sahasrahla shouts at Yuga to let go of the buckle pad, Yuga tosses it to Ganondorf and claims Ganondorf is in the wrong now. Ganondorf throws the pad down and Sahasrahla picks it up. Sahasrahla goes to the corner to see if he can put it back on, and Yuga jumps at Ganondorf to rake his eyes! Ganondorf shoves Yuga away, Yuga LOW BLOWS him again! Yuga drags Ganondorf into a fisherman SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, YUGA WINS!?!

Winner: Yuga, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Triforce Championship)

Another match, another out of the box way to cheat by those lowdown, no good troublemakers! Hilda had her shot and lost, will this time be the right time for Yuga?

HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Skull Lake Street Fight: Cia VS Lana!

The Dark Sorceress and the Blue Haired Goddess did their best to beat each other black ‘n’ blue at Gut Check Rock, but now they’ll look to go for gold! Happening on the ring set up on the narrow “nose” of Skull Lake, this match ends by either pinfall, submission, or someone falling into the water! Who falls and who rises towards the throne of the Princess of Hyrule?

Because this is a Street Fight, the sisters aren’t wearing their wrestling gear but something they might wear day-to-day, but also goes well with water. Lana went with sandals, denim jeans and a tankini while Cia also has sandals, but shining purple hot pants and bikini top. To be fair, Cia’s usual gear isn’t that different… The introductions don’t even finish before Cia DECKS Lana! Referee Maron RonRon reprimands her and checks on Lana. Lana is furious and demands this match begin, so Maron rings the bell! The sisters rush each other and fans fire up as Lana ROCKS Cia! Cia staggers to a corner and Lana stomps a mudhole into her!

Lana lets off only because she’s tiring her leg out, and then she runs corner to corner. Cia slips out to the apron before Lana returns so Lana stops short. Lana grabs at Cia but Cia uses that to hotshot Lana’s arm! Lana clutches the shoulder, but Cia grabs her by the hair to throw her into the buckles! Cia gets back in to stomp a mudhole into Lana now! Cia swings but Lana boots the dropkick away! Lana gets up and KICKS Cia in the leg! Cia hobbles, Lana grabs her and POSTS her! Lana rolls Cia up, TWO! But Lana has a leg! Lana steps through but Cia kicks her away to avoid the Sharpshooter. Cia bails out and goes looking under the ring. Lana runs in, but Cia avoids the baseball slide!

Lana steadies herself as she slides out of the ring. The edge of the nose plateau is right there, she could lose by falling in! Cia kicks but Lana blocks it. Lana goes to throw Cia but Cia grabs the apron skirt! Cia kicks free and gets in the ring while Lana avoids the edge. Lana gets back in the ring but Cia is ready with a kick to her leg! BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO! Cia rains down fists on Lana while fans rally up. Cia stomps Lana again and again, then goes back out of the ring to look underneath. Fans sing, “Nana nana, nana nana, nana nana, nana nana… NA NA NA NAAA~!” Cia brings out a kendo stick! Cia gets back in the ring and aims at Lana, SMACK across her back!

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! Cia keeps hitting Lana around the ring! Lana gets to the apron, Cia digs the tip of the stick into Lana’s shoulder, but Lana slaps it away. Cia goes out and SMACKS Lana from the side! Lana scrambles away back to center but Cia pursues. Lana gets up, Cia reels back, but Lana kicks her low! Cia drops the stick and Lana picks it up! Cia freaks out but can’t get away before Lana SMACKS her on the back! Lana SMACKS Cia to ropes and then SMACKS her again! Cia kicks Lana’s leg and grabs the kendo stick, but Lana holds on for a tug-o-war! They go around, Cia reels Lana in to DECK her with a forearm! Cia has the stick again and SMACKS Lana over and over!

Fans boo as Cia keeps giving Lana SMACKS across her back and legs! Cia drops the stick because it’s starting to splinter! Cia KICKS Lana in the side, and fans boo as she stands on Lana’s head. “You should’ve stayed home! You’re not tough enough for this!” Lana shoves Cia’s leg away, starts to get up, but Cia pulls on her hair. Fans boo as Cia uses the hair to drag Lana over towards the ropes. Cia slides out of the ring but Lana grabs the ropes. Cia goes after Lana’s hands but Lana kicks at her! Lana turns and kicks Cia towards the edge! But Cia grabs Lana’s foot and holds on! Fans chant, “FALL! FALL! FALL!” as Lana tries to shake Cia off. But Cia CLAWS Lana’s foot and calf!

Lana pulls her leg in and that pulls Cia back from the edge! Cia stomps Lana on the floor, drags her up, but Lana knees her low first! Lana goes to push Cia but Cia digs in her heels! Lana CHOPS Cia on the back! Cia CHOPS Lana on the chest! Lana CHOPS Cia on the chest now and Cia stumbles backwards and falls over! Cia crawls for the corner and Lana stalks her. There’s a touch more space on this side of the nose, but not much. Cia starts looking under the ring, Lana grabs at her, but Cia JAMS her with a chair! Lana falls over but realizes the edge is near and scoots back towards the ring. But that brings her to Cia, and Cia SMACKS her with the chair!

Fans boo as Cia digs the chair’s edge into Lana’s back! Lana shouts in pain as she can only endure, and Cia keeps shouting, “You should’ve stayed home! You should’ve stayed home!!” Cia finally lets off, puts the chair down and drags Lana towards the edge. Fans boo and chant, “No! No! No!” but Lana fights back! She drags Cia down by her hair! They both fight to keep away from the edge while pushing the other! It turns into a scrap, and Lana SLAPS Cia! And SLAPS her! And hammers her with right hands! Lana gets Cia up, looks at the edge and the water below, and shakes her head?! “That’s too easy!” Lana shoves Cia into the ring! She wants to make Cia feel the pain!

Lana gets the chair, brings it into the ring, and stalks Cia as she crawls. Cia slowly gets up, and Lana SMACKS her on the back! Cia falls over and fans fire up with Lana as she roars! Lana SMACKS Cia again, and again! Cia writhes, begs for mercy, but that only upsets Lana more! Lana stomps Cia down, sits the chair up, then drags Cia over to it. Lana bounces Cia’s face off the seat! Cia sputters while resting against the chair, but then Lana sits on her head! Fans cheer and even laugh as Lana humiliates her horrible sister! Lana then brings Cia up in a gut wrench, stands up, and hooks Cia’s arms with her legs! Cia grabs the chair even as Lana hits THE STYLES CLASH!!

Lana turns Cia over for the cover, but Cia SMACKS Lana in the head with the chair!! Fans lose their minds while Maron checks on Lana. Cia crawls away, and then uses the chair to help her stand back up. Oh, Lana’s got a bloody nose! But she tells Maron she’s not letting this stop her! Lana gets up, Cia hurries to get the chair up but Lana ROCKS her with a right! Lana CHOPS, ROCKS, repeat and puts Cia in a corner! Lana keeps going, forearm and CHOP, forearm and CHOP, over and over! She stops to catch her breath, which is hard because of the bloody nose, but she still tells Maron to let her be as she hobbles for the chair. But Cia CHOP BLOCKS Lana down!

Cia stands on Lana’s back, then pulls Lana’s hair again so she can look at her sister’s bloody face. Fans boo as Cia SMACKS Lana off the chair! And again! And again! Cia soaks up the heat a moment before she brings Lana back up. Cia has the shoulders, but Lana WRINGS Cia off the backstabber! Cia lands on the chair! Cia writhes while Lana steadies herself, and fans chant, “This is Awesome!” Lana stands Cia up, drags Cia back up and reels her in. Lana stands over the chair, and she lifts Cia, but her back makes that harder. Lana tells Maron she’s fine, but then Cia powers up! Lana holds off the back drop, tries another lift, but Cia resists that.

Cia gets Lana up and over for the back drop but Lana makes it a sunset flip! High stack, TWO! But Lana holds onto the legs and steps through! Cia flails as Lana turns her, Lana gets the SHARPSHOOTER! Fans are thunderous as Lana sits deep and Cia endures! Cia reaches out, claws her way over, and gets the ropes, but it doesn’t cause a ropebreak because this is a Street Fight! Maron tells Cia this, but Cia holds onto the rope all the same. Cia keeps crawling, trying to get out of the ring, but Lana drags her back! Cia has the apron skirt as pulls and tears at it, and even bites it, to endure the pain!

Cia powers up, fights her way back to the ropes, and climbs them?! The change in leverage makes Lana wobble, and then Cia pushes off the ropes and rolls, sending Lana into the ropes! Lana gets a bit of whiplash and she lets go of the hold! Lana flops out of the ring and to the floor! Cia hobbles with the pain in her legs and back but goes out after Lana. Cia drags Lana up and shouts, “Go soak your fat head!” But Lana SMACKS Cia with a kendo stick?! Lana must’ve gotten that out from under the ring! Lana SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS Cia again, and now Cia is by the edge! Lana aims but Cia blocks the headshot!

Cia takes the stick from Lana, but Lana SCREW HIGH KICKS! Cia staggers, falls, and SPLASHES DOWN! Lana wins!!

Winner: Lana, by splashdown (NEW #1 Contender to the HPW Goddess Championship)

Amazing! Lana’s second match in HPW is her biggest win ever! And now she’s heading to Treasure Island! Zelda walks out onto the stage and fans cheer as she holds up the belt. Lana, wiping the blood from her nose, nods as she stares Zelda down. Will the Blue Haired Goddess become a golden goddess in another shocker? Or will the Princess of Hyrule reign for all time?

My Thoughts:

Battle royals sure go long in text form, don’t they? Or maybe I can learn to trim them down. I could’ve had Master Kohga repeat in the Eventide Challenge from last year, but I feel like having some variety in the sequel would be better. The trickiest part of Ganondorf VS Yuga was, “How is Yuga going to cheat?” It also turned out to be the most fun part after I came up with that idea with Ravio.

The Skull Lake Street Fight’s flaw might be that it was hard not to have it end so easily. So many ways someone could’ve been believably pushed into the water, perhaps this is one of those pro-wrestling dilemmas of suspending disbelief a bit too much. But because of the splashdown stipulation, that had to come up, just like the Mimosa Mayhem in AEW. Lana winning might also be an odd booking call, but we’ve already had Zelda VS Cia, we need variety here, too.