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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (9/10/21)

Introducing the stars of NWS!

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HPW News 2021

Get a taste for the Necluda Wrestling Swamp!

HPW X NWS: Battle of the Bog is set in motion, but just who are the stars of Necluda Wrestling Swamp? Tune in and find out in this special showcase!

 

Welcome to the Swamp!

Before HPW takes on NWS in mostly friendly competition, we need to learn a bit more about just who is stepping up to take on the big leaguers! This is Pro-Wrestling Showcase: Necluda Wrestling Swamp!

First: Nest Friends, Duck Taylor & Guy!

The Plucky Gentleman and, uh, well, #JustGuy, have been a tag team on the Hyrule independent circuit since 2013 but are finally getting some real recognition. Winners of the NWS Swamp Thang Tag Tournament, and each one being accomplished in their own singles careers, Ducky T and “Guy?” are on the verge of being NWS Tag Team Champions, so perhaps the coming Team HPW VS Team NWS match can be a great boost towards that match. At the very least, Nest Friends know they’ve GOT to give the people what they want!

Second: El Hijo del Torbellino (Son of the Whirlpool)!

Carrying on a great legacy from his father, El Torbellino, this masked Zora luchador has been building his own name all over Necluda and the Zora Domain. Sometimes called “Torbellino Junior” or even #Torbevito, be ready to see the ropes, the corners and the ringside area used in ways you’ve never even imagined! El Hijo del Torbellino vows to be seen as the most high flying and high diving wrestler, not just in lucha libre style but in Zora and Hylian styles. Will El Hijo del Torbellino make a splash at the coming crossover event?

Third: The Zora Princess, Mipha!

One of King Dorephan’s children, this young lady Zora has shown great fortitude and perseverance, and is already a former NWS Women’s Champion. Mipha wants to follow in the footsteps of Oren, Ruto and Rutela, and show what female Zora wrestling can really do. This coming 5v5 will be the first time she’s worked alongside her younger brother, Sidon, so we’ll also see how well the brother-sister combination works as they take on Team HPW. Can Mipha prove herself worthy of another chance at the NWS Women’s title through the Battle of the Bog?

Fourth: The Zora Prodigy, Sidon!

The other of King Dorephan’s children and younger brother to Mipha, the Zora prince has shot up the ranks with his blended moveset! Sidon has learned from Hylian and Rito wrestlers, and is now starting to incorporate the more technical Zora style to give himself even further dimension. Sidon has come close in matches against NWS Swamp Champion, Blind the Thief, and even THE NWS Champion, Thunderbird, maybe this 5v5 gives him the boost he needs to try again. And as already said, this will be the first time Sidon and his older sister, Mipha, work together. Sidon himself is a very eager, enthusiastic personality, maybe some of that confidence will transfer to the meeker Mipha.

Fifth and finally: Blind the Thief!

A master of the blindfold match with high level ring savvy and almost a sixth sense, the current NWS Swamp Champion has also been a two-time NWS Tag Team Champion with two separate partners. Despite his name, Blind sees much of what goes on, both in and out of the ring. As such, he claims to see something in Gold Lynel that no one else does. Is it a weakness? Is it arrogance? Or is it a gap in his fighting style that Blind has already created a strategy for? There is no honor among thieves, so Blind the Thief is not going to hesitate to take advantage of whatever it is  he sees when looking at the One True Monster.


My Thoughts:

I really wanted to do more with Nest Friends where they have the equivalents of Orange Cassidy, Kris Statlander and even Wheeler Yuta with them, but that’s a lot to either A) come up with name parodies that work as well as “Duck Taylor” or B) assign established Zelda characters to those roles. El Hijo del Torbellino is basically going to represent lucha libre as a whole as I haven’t really featured that in HPW, and yes, I’m basically modeling Sidon after Ben Carter/Nathan Frazer and his story in NXT UK of finally adding British technical wrestling into his style. That 5v5 match is going to be a lot of fun, because it’s also the first one of those I’ve tried writing for HPW.

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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert

Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!

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Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE’s PPV/PLE history)

http://TheChairshot.com PRESENTS…IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O’Dowd’s 5X5


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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/9/25)

June will be electric!

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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!

While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!

 

Thundra Plateau is ready.

Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.

 

Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…

The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.

Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.

Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.

Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.

Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.

The Dark Forces are watching.

They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.

Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”

Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?

 

Somewhere dark and spooky…

Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!

The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?

 

Back to the Dark Forces…

Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.

 

And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!

The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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