Entertainment
Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Twelve Foot Ninja – Vengeance (2021)
Well the JAR was dropped into Australia and hot damn this band is unique. Their new album Vengeance really explores A LOT of musical influences. Does it pass judgment?
Well the JAR was dropped into Australia and hot damn this band is unique. Their new album Vengeance really explores A LOT of musical influences. Does it pass judgment?
Now this is an interesting concept because I started enjoying this band more for their video for One Hand Killing and not immediately for the music. These psychopaths from Melbourne,Australia have this interesting ability to fuse retro, reggae, funk, industrial and hardcore all into this heavy metal package. When I first heard them they really struck me as a Mike Patton project…possibly just with more drugs directing the ship.
This sonic smorgasbord seems to be a concept album. The album came out with a graphic novel of Vengeance and a book entitled The Wyvern and the Wolf. These guys are nothing if not unique, but we’re not here to fuck spiders, so let’s get to the album!
- Artist: Twelve Foot Ninja
- Album: Vengeance (2021)
- Label: Volcanik Music
- Total Album Length: 34:17
Start the Fire starts off the album, so I guess it’s aptly named. Heavy space age sounds with a huge techno sound before the chorus breaks us into more of their chunky metal sound. The verses keep that calm almost introspective feeling going through the listless feeling of their story. With the chorus punching through the haze as more of a motivation to ‘start the fire” within the subject of the song to get going. Heavy dive bomb slides, drop D and that Mudvayne style of progressive nu metal works through the confusion of being wherever they are and having to light a fuse within. Long Way Home hits very early with a Coal Chamber vibe before instrumentally it kinda breaks into a weird Reggae thing. Like this song very literally sounds like Skindred could put it on one of their albums. A little Ragga-Metal with their humor and screaming choruses really livens up the sonic palate but it’s not bad…just a bit of a left turn, though lyrically I suppose it still fits with being somewhere else and having to work back home.
Vengeance has some techno elements but a lot of industrial with nearly mechanical sounds kicking off the first few seconds. “Hate is the dirt that I’ll bury you with – from the grave – that I dig myself” are really poignant lyrics. With such an interesting lyrical tone contained within this 2001: A Space Odyssey and Static X hybrid, the falsetto bridge into the more classic metal vocals for the chorus, and even topped off with what could be the arcade machine with a few lines. IDK I feel like this is going to be how a lot of people feel about this album…just I don’t know. But aside from starting with what is either an old 80s video game OR WALL-E from the movie of the same name, we then go into a Mother Love Bone swingy little jazz number before breaking that with a heavy IDK and going into a retro/Synthwave 80s chorus. This is exactly why the first time I heard these guys they reminded me of Mike Patton just driven by more drugs. The fact this song jumps from 80s arcade sounds, to Jazz to Nu-Metal to Synthwave, to a calming little beat mixed in with the old AOL Dial Up sound. I-D-K, perfect name for this song.
Shock to the System continues with the 80s Synthwave and the robot talking voice. The light guitar and atmospheric keyboard really keeps the huge 80s vibes, and then as we come to the chorus it gets heavier, but not insanely so. Then back to the distorted robo-voice. I definitely understand that most of the songs have a techno or 80s Synthwave vibe and keep the thread of the robotic thing…WHAT THE HELL! Now we have a tango break down, like OUT OF NOWHERE like an RKO. If the last song was really “I don’t know” the way this one jumps around is a real “shock to the system”. None of it’s bad, and as I was trying to say, the themes of the song and story seem to make enough sense, but this is just insane.
Gone sounds like a Simply Red song, so a little groovy pop with a distinct bassline and then the synth space ship, and oohh a little natural piano sound to sound almost like Eye of the Tiger. The very sexy Jazz fusion aspect, oh and a tambourine, the elements they throw in these songs seems to part of the fun I’m having. The end of the song sounds like a video game shutting off and then getting blown up. Culture War this kicks off with a music box and then punches you in the throat with some fast and heavy vocals and instrumentation. The chorus cleans up the vocals, but instrumentally it feels like Pantera Far Beyond Driven. A lot of guttural screams, blast beats and a guitar attack that reminds you the band is “mostly” a metal band. OH but of course we get a little Flamenco break before going fully into the sludgy Nu-Metal Slipknot style of attack for the next chorus.
Dead End starts with very echoed out spacey vocals, before picking up to more of a Sevendust level of anger. It’s still a melodic song, sung fairly well, with an interesting beginning to the choruses since they strip it down to heavier on the rhythm section before picking up the pace during the “I’m Runnin – I’m Runnin” lyrics, which paints a nice picture of being lost/trapped and trying to escape, but also being resistant to the change. Which funnily enough, I feel is something many people can relate to, especially the last few years. Over and Out featured Tatiana Shmayluk, and that’s interesting since she’s the lead singer of Jinjer. So if we know anything, she has an amazing range on vocals from a clear clean vocal to demonic guttural deliveries. She utilizes both aspects of her singing to help the imagery of the fatal attraction in death. Mortality, loss and confusion are big themes in this album, so the fact that Tatiana can be both an angel and devil vocally, makes her a perfect fit. Tangled is kind of a stripped down song, with what sounds like a violin and orchestral elements in what’s starting off as a ballad anyway. Very simple Hard Rock elements, as this continues to tackle the topic of death. Talking about being “tangled in the twilight – waiting for the night ahead”. Definitely ends the album oddly being as somber as it is, but in terms of telling the story, building towards death and then going through the whole journey makes sense. Just odd.
SO – what the hell did I just listen to? This album is all over the place, I can definitely understand how people might just chalk this up to being disjointed or a sonic dumpster fire; but that loses the plot. This album is part of a bigger artistic endeavor the band is going for, and tells a solid story like a musical soundtrack. If you listen to your favorite musical, every song doesn’t perfectly sync into one another, granted it may not jump genres as drastically, but there are still many that do.
With all that said, I had fun with the plethora of earworms, erratic at times additions of elements and just general energy level of the album. It is definitely not for everyone, and some may get frustrated, but the boys have been very busy, like a cat – burying shit on concrete. It’s quite busy…
Final Judgment: 8.5/10
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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
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Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!
HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…
The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.
The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!
“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?
My Thoughts:
Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Entertainment
Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]
Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?
In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.
Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).
- Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
- The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
- The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams
About the Chairshot Radio Network
Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!