Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/30/21)
Dawn of the Second Day!
HPW takes a closer look at the Termina Championship and a special grudge match!
Before the #CelebrationofGreatness, HPW takes a closer look at major match-ups! Second: The Termina Championship, and Ghirahim VS Midna!
Osphala surfs in Lanayru.
“Another year, and I’m back at HyruleMania. But how crazy that I’m the champion now.” Igos du Ikana tried to screw Osphala out again and again, but he kept at it and broke through. And best of all, Igos’ royal family tasted karma. Another highlight reel for Osphala’s extreme sports, with new footage of sand surfing, skateboarding and snowboarding. The elements continue to be the best teachers for him. Now footage plays of his wipeouts. The skateboarding one is particularly rough for the tailbone hit on the railing. “If I can get back up from stuff like that, I can get up from whatever Fin is gonna throw my way.”
“That’s what you think now, fella,” Fin Balure responds.
“You think the waves are your ally? You merely adopted them.” Balure doesn’t want to use his being a Zora as anything, but he was born in the ocean, molded by it. “I didn’t breathe air until I was already a man, and by then, it was nothing to me but suffocating!” Balure swims hundreds of miles just going to and from the Training Center. Stamina has always been Balure’s strength. Balure doesn’t get gassed out. The longer this goes, the deeper you get into the match, that deep water will drown Osphala. There won’t be a fairy tale ending. At HyruleMania 2, Osphala chokes, and Balure becomes Termina Champion.
The Gleaming Yellow Light VS The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla. Is one underestimating the other? Which way does the tide turn at the Celebration of Greatness?
Midna livestreams on Twinge!
And not just any livestream. She’s previewing HPW’s first-ever action figure line! First, she shows off “everyone’s favorite,” Link! They’re calling this one “Link: Hero of Hyrule,” commemorating his ring gear from the inaugural Triforce Championship match last year. Just a simple pair of green tights, but also a toy Triforce Championship belt you can put on Link, or whatever action figure you want. “They did great on his muscles, and even his face. Look at how handsome he is~!” Secondly, Midna shows off her own action figure! They went with her current form, and Midna sarcastically wonders why. The hair is right, the make-up is good, and the body…
Midna looks herself over for a moment. Yeah, the body’s right. They even made little plastic Fused Shadow helmet that even pops apart. “Let’s see if I can put it on my action figure…” Midna pops the toy Fused Shadow apart into its three parts. She has a bit of difficulty putting the pieces together while holding the action figure up, so she has the action figure lie down on the table. The pieces aren’t easy to pop back together, but she gets them to snap into place and they stay on as she stands the figure back up.
She also stands Midna up against Link. Even without the Fused Shadow, the Midna figure is taller than Link’s, which is accurate. Midna always found it weird when a toy line for something like a TV show or video game has no sense of scale when it’s so obvious from the source material. Thirdly, she has a figure of… Ghirahim! And just looking at him, the height is right. Ghirahim’s taller than Link, shorter than Midna. “Wait. Look at that face!” Midna is laughing as she gets the figure up close on the camera. “Ghirahim’s nose is so long and pointy! How’d they get that wrong? He doesn’t have that much of a schnoz, does he?” Midna looks at the action figure while thinking about it.
Ghirahim is watching, and is angry.
“I do not have a schnoz! Don’t spread lies, Midna!” But then he realizes she can’t hear him, it’s a stream, not a video call. Ghirahim mutters as he types his comments in the chat. “I do not- No, no, wait. I can’t let her know I’m watching her stupid stream.” He taps the backspace key for each letter then starts again. “The great Ghirahim does not have a big nose! It is slender and graceful and normal sized!” Then he hits enter to send the comment. Midna sees this comment and reads it for the rest of the viewers. Then she says, “Wow. Looks like we’ve got someone white knighting for Ghirahim over here.”
Ghirahim frowns and scoffs. “White knighting? What does that even mean? I don’t understand your stupid, weird nerd slang, you nerd.” Midna moves on from the nose to get into the details of the ring gear. “This definitely looks like his usual attire, like he wore for the inaugural Triforce Championship event and the May 2020 event. Remember that one? Ghirahim lost to Igos du Ikana, and then Groose won the Death Mountain Championship, and so Ghirahim attacked Groose and stole the streamers.” Midna laughs again and that just upsets Ghirahim again. “Everyone knows I should’ve been champion from the start!” he barks at the screen, then he gets back to typing.
“The great Ghirahim should’ve been Death Mountain Champion, and then kept his EXQUISITE Championship! HPW ruined all of that!” Midna just goes, “Oh, wow, there goes the white knight again. That title was so ugly with its argyle pattern! That was so weird!” “Y-You’re weird! Bet if you redesigned to have the Goddess title to match the Twilight World, or Zone, or whatever you call it, it’d look ugly, too! Who wants a cybernetic cold sore on a belt?” But Ghirahim says it won’t matter for long, he’ll be kicking Midna out of HPW soon enough. She’ll need Twinge to give her something to do after New Year’s. Is Ghirahim planning on retiring Midna just as he did Rauru last year?
My Thoughts:
Hopefully someone got the references made through Fin Balure’s promo. And just like I did last year, I like imagining Ghirahim as The Way Heel Johnny Gargano in his promo. Just a great bit of funny and entertaining grumpy attitude from him over the Face poking fun at him.
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Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!
HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…
The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.
The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!
“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?
My Thoughts:
Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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Entertainment
Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]
Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?
In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.
Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).
- Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
- The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
- The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams
About the Chairshot Radio Network
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!