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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Action Bronson - Cocodrillo Turbo (2022) | The Chairshot
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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Action Bronson – Cocodrillo Turbo (2022)

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Remember last week when I said there were a few albums I was interested in this month, and instead I picked the hot garbage from Three Days Grace? Well I’m fairly sure we’ll be remedying that this week.

Now, I can’t be the only person that got swept up in his laid back stoner delivery on all his VICELAND shows, right? I didn’t know who the hell he was until a few years ago between Fuck, That’s Delicious and his ridiculous skit/talk show. So with that context on how I found out about him, I kinda forgot he did music. So as soon as I saw he had a recent release, it was on my short list to follow up on.

I’m looking forward to some trippy, borderline nonsensical stoner thoughts over a beat machine. And if it’s even better than that, well that’s all gravy.

  • Artist: Action Bronson
  • Album: Cocodrillo Turbo (2022)
  • Label: Loma Vista
  • Total Track Time: 30:03

Hound Dog starts off with some glass shattering and a slow trippy surfer guitar tone…with lions roaring as well? Okay this is the stoner vibe I was looking for, already hitting it out the park. Not a ton to this intro song, but it’s definitely fun, lyrics about giraffes on his back, naked smoking drugs in a downpour or something. I’d say this sets the stage nicely. Tongpo feat Conway the Machine the surfer guitar sticks around along with a little…recorder noise and that damn lion roar. ” And I’m your bitch’s first selection when it comes to penis, Have her squirting in the car while we listen to a T-Pain G-Mix, Come down the spiral staircase like hair on Hasidics, hail Caesar” , I popped way too hard for the spiral staircase like hair on Hasidics line, but it’s an interest few lines. Conway does have a great line, “Now I beat up mics like Shaq and Penny – Magic (Talk to ’em)”, it’s nice wordplay and shouting out the 90s Magic is something you don’t hear much since they were relevant for like 3 years and then imploded. Estaciones feat Hologram it’s slower with piano, and its one of those clever songs I just sit and listen to. The second verse sounds like it’s going to be Hologram‘s but Bronson jumps in for a few bars and then finishes the verse by apologizing and telling him to go again, so the first few lines of the third verse are exactly the same from Hologram. It’s just good comedy, granted Hologram’s lyrics are kind of cliche and uninspired. Not awful just the lyrical version of a layup.

Jaws is the shortest song on the album, but really well put together and clever talking about babyface turned heel and snortin coke with Michael Irvin. Solid bars. Subzero feels like some crazy string of barely connecting thoughts that circle around to him just being a cold piece of work. Lionel RichieJames BrownJohn Wick and John Randle lines. Turkish feat Meyhem Lauren a weird backing track, but it definitely works. “Have you holding something frozen on your cheek, Swinging double hundred pound clubs from Persia like The Sheik”, it’s also really cool how he finds interesting ways to fit in less obvious wrestlers. We know from his talk show that he’s big into wrestling since Rob Van Dam and Sabu were on it (just off the top of my head). Jaguar holy hell this is a great song and maybe it’s been a jaguar in the background of songs and not a lion. I’m not super up on my “Large cats of the wilderness growls”. But great metaphors, spinning a fat joke about looking like a bison into, “Nah, I’m M Bison” and even throws in a mention to Edge about jumping off ladders. Just a smooth song that cuts with every bar. And soo damn many references.

Zambezi feat Roc Marciano for a change the feature actually goes clever with his verse instead of stupid. Marciano hits a New Edition Candy Girl reference throwing in a little Led Zeppelin as well. This just has a funky but really laid back vibe, and just moves super easy from the start to finish. Groovy stuff. Ninety One well now I wasn’t expecting these first few lines, “They say Bronson disappeared like the AIDS from Magic Johnson’s dick, Truth be told, I been rehearsing for a role but daddy back, The Cadillac, could fit like eighty Shaqs, eleven baby MACs, five scud missiles, Let the cocodrillo tongue kiss you (Mwah)”, all of this over some like Jackson 5/Motown style sample beat. A string of great references and metaphors, just still left a little dazed from how hard the open started. Storm of the Century feat Yung Mehico this feels like more a lounge song with the slow and deliberate guitar strum, and it turns out that Yung Mehico plays the saxophone. Bronson goes through one verse and we head out with the guitar strum and a bit of the saxophone.

I think…I got what I expected. His shows were a string of references, random stuff, wrestling, drugs and just massive stoner thoughts. This…this felt like the same; that’s not really a bad thing. At points I felt like the overuse of the “TURBO” in the quieter parts of the songs was jarring and not in a good way, but that’s not a major complaint. Jaguar is probably still my favorite song off this, but Estaciones with that interruption verse is just quality entertainment.

So yeah it was an experience, if I didn’t already have an idea for his personality/style, this would probably be a bit of a disjointed mess (you know if I took the super pretentious music snob route). But given what I know, this was pretty damn good, great references, cold bars, and relatable at least for me since it was 90s centric wordplay.

Final Judgment: 7.65/10

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Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert

Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/9/25)

June will be electric!

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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!

While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!

 

Thundra Plateau is ready.

Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.

 

Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…

The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.

Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.

Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.

Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.

Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.

The Dark Forces are watching.

They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.

Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”

Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?

 

Somewhere dark and spooky…

Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!

The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?

 

Back to the Dark Forces…

Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.

 

And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!

The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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