Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (8/14/22)
Fallout from Treasure Island 3!

The landscape of HPW has been altered!
The gold was all over HPW Treasure Island 3, and we have some NEW champions to hear from! Will Arrow Club start the party already?
After the HPW Trios Championships match.
Ganondorf, Zant and Agahnim hobble into the back.
Zant and Agahnim are disappointed but Ganondorf is furious. He’s blaming Zant for that loss, since he tagged in and then got hit with the finish. But Zant angrily points out that they would’ve lost anyway because Ganondorf got hit with that big Grenade, too! Ganondorf gets angrier because Zant talked back but Agahnim tries to keep the team together. Zant and Ganondorf both tell Agahnim to shut up, and then Ganondorf pops Zant up to GANON BOMB him through the table! Ganondorf glares at Agahnim but he backs away and Ganondorf storms off. Is GZA already RIP in HPW?
Arrow Club walks backstage triumphantly.
Mack & Rick Quackson sing “Heeey~ we won the tiiitles! Heeey~ we won the tiiitles!” while dancing around a bit. Bad Croc Scaly holds up his belt with both hands like a banner, and Fin Balure greets them with applause. Fin congratulates them all on hitting their target. Arrow Club is golden, but there are still targets left to hit. The Ducks say that’s right, and then Rick asks who made the mess (broken table with Zant still down in the wreckage). Mack says, “I dunno, probably a bunch of losers.” Arrow Club shares a laugh then heads out, and we already know what their plan was to get those other titles.
After the Eventide Challenge.
Hilda hobbles in with Ravio’s help.
Her Grace doesn’t really lose with grace, she’s pouting and moping right now. Their plan with the golden balls was so good, why did it fail? Ravio tells her not to say that too loudly, but we all heard it. Hilda says their only way back now is the Hyrule Warriors match, but that’s such a hard match to win. Ravio says there is another title out there. Hilda thinks about that, and understands what he means.
Skull Kid storms in.
And he’s cussing up a storm from all the bleeps. He starts throwing water bottles, he kicks the table over, shakes the backdrop and lights, then headbutts a TV screen, cracking it! Skull Kid storms off, what will he do while in such a rage?
Hollywood ReDead and The UnderWorld Order walk in.
ReDead is holding up a bucket as he glares at the camera. “Ravio! You stupid little purple jackrabbit bastard! If I see even one ear of yours, I’m gonna rip it right off your head and shove it down your throat! You and your stupid balls got in the way!” Ted Beedle Ossi asks, “Wait, his balls?” “Yes, his golden balls that looked just like the prize! The NOID was violated, he should be fined!” Beedle agrees, they need to look into this, bring HPW Legal into it, and one way or another, Ravio will pay! Gomess also brings up that The Dark Forces are going to pay, but with blood, sweat and tears! uWo Gibdo nods, but how will HPW management look to handle all of this?
Cia and the Dark Forces walk in.
Just as the uWo were grumbling about them, the Dark Forces are grumbling about the uWo. “Those jerks thought they could void the NOID?” Cia says. “Guess not!” Wizzro tells the uWo to watch their backs, and Volga says they’re going to burn the UnderWorld Order down! Dark Forces Gibdo nods, will we see these factions collide in the ring again?
Groose walks in with Link.
The Skyfall Stud is singing Link’s praises, “OH~ Hero of Hy~rule! OH~ Hero of HyYYy~rule!” Groose then shifts to “LINK! LINK! LINK! LINK!” Link smiles a bit sheepishly as he and Groose get some water. Groose chugs, still in just his speedo. Groose lets out a loud satisfied sigh and then pats Link hard on the back. “Congrats on that huge win, buddy. That was a great match. And whoever wins this main event, you’re going right for ’em! If it’s Fin, you’ll have an awesome first-time match. You haven’t faced him before, right?” Link shakes his head no. And then there’s Link’s brother, Kage. If Kage wins, he and Link will have another 1v1 match. And…
Groose trails off, realizing that’s a bit of a sensitive subject. He coughs then drinks a bit more water. Link sighs, takes another sip himself, then heads off. Who was Link rooting for when watching the main event?
After the HPW Death Mountain Championship Open Challenge.
Tali and Shabonne storm in.
They’re both upset, and they keep saying, “Torbevito?!” with incredulous attitudes. Shabonne then asks while looking around, “How did that guppy get to the front of the line? There should’ve been wrestlers out the door wanting after The Dame of the Dunes! Or was everyone just too scared?” Tali asks, “Then what does that makes Torbevito? The bravest person in the world? Or just some crazy weirdo in a mask?” Shabonne can only say, “I don’t know, I don’t know.” But Shabonne does promise that if Torbevito got a second chance, then Tali will definitely get a rematch! Tali herself says, “Torbevito, you’re just a flavor of the month. And I’m gonna slap the taste out your damn mouth!”
Arrow Club returns again.
The Young Ducks sing a new version, “Heeey~ he won the tiiitles! Heeey~ he won the tiiitles!” as Torbevito walks in, victoriously holding up the Death Mountain Championship. Fin is there to welcome Torbevito to the club. Arrow Club grows stronger with another target taken down. Just one more to go tonight! Arrow Club strikes a group pose and heads out again so that Fin can prepare for the main event.
After the HPW Goddess Championship.
Veran walks in.
The Sorceress of Shadows is very thankful that HPW reached out to her a couple months ago. The Termina event and everything that built up to it was a great time, and the two matches with Zelda were incredible. She loves that pro-wrestling is helping the world come together in the spirit of competition. She hopes to see the fans out there again as the new chapter of her career continues. When and where will we see the former TCW Women’s Champion again?
Zelda walks in.
The Princess of Hyrule is a bit emotional as she walks in. She is honored to have faced Veran twice, but they are tied 1-1. If HPW wants to put it together, Zelda will gladly give Veran a tiebreaker third match. But then Hilda hobbles back in, Ravio still helping her walk. Hilda tells Zelda not to get ahead of herself. Zelda’s title reign may have lasted one year, seven months and 13 days, but it won’t last much longer. Ravio says, “Yeah! It’ll only last, uh, one year and 10 months!” Hilda tells Ravio to shut up, his math ruined her threat. But yes, Hilda wants her title shot at the next major HPW PPV. It doesn’t matter where or what day of the week, Hilda wants next!
Zelda says fine, they can take this to management and sort it out. “But considering I just took on a living legend, there’s no way someone who cheated their way to the Triforce Tournament Finals is going to take this title from me.” Zelda then pushes past Hilda and Hilda scowls. Will we see this match for Clash of Fates?
After the HPW Triforce & Termina Championships main event.
Arrow Club walks in again…
Bad Croc Scaly is propping up a barely conscious Fin with one arm while the Ducks protest. They can’t believe Kage drove Fin’s head into the belt! Completely uncalled for! A reporter points out that they introduced the belts as weapons into the situation. Mack says, “Yeah, well, that doesn’t excuse Kage using them!” Rick adds, “And what the heck did Link come out for? I thought he hated his brother.” Mack says no, Kage hates Link, but that should’ve also been a reason for him to not come out. Torbevito says it’s fine, they’re still a golden Arrow Club! Fin is still Termina Champion! He’ll just wait until he gets another chance! “Right, Fin?”
Fin doesn’t so much speak as he does gurgle and groan. The rest go, “Uh… Yeah!” Rick says, “He’s gonna kick the ass of whoever’s Triforce Champion! Just you wait and see!” Arrow Club heads out once more, but will the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla really get another chance to become a double champion? Or will he just have to worry about defending the title he still has?
Kage tells Link to get out of his way.
The Hero’s Shadow is still HPW Triforce Champion after the fiasco caused by Arrow Club, but he’s not happy to have retained like that. “Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla, you coward. You weren’t going to beat me anyway, so I guess the joke’s on you! Hope it was worth having that belt’s faceplate permanently stamped on your forehead!” Kage then turns his attention back to his brother, Link. “And for you,” Kage says. “Mr. Eventide, huh? Can’t just stay away from the spotlight, huh? I’m going to make you regret it. Last year, you survived. This year, you won’t!” Kage then pushes past Link to take his leave.
The HPW reporter asks Link how he feels knowing that he will face off against Kage 1v1 one year later, just as Kage said. Link looks down at the ground, sighs, runs his hands through his hair, then walks off without a word. What will happen as the Hero of Hyrule and his blood brother clash once more?
My Thoughts:
What great developments here! GZA is the shortest lived faction in HPW history, as they ended up transitional champions just to check the Trios titles off in Ganondorf’s resumé, and Hilda is shifting gears from Triforce to Goddess Championship. The Arrow Club is errywhere, except the Women’s Division, so maybe someone joins them in the near future…? And there’s of course heat between Kage and Link, which will only get more intense as we approach that match. There’s big plans there for sure. And there is going to be an article coming up to explain what Dark Horse Stampede is about, so make sure to follow The Chairshot for that.
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Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert
Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!
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PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!
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Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!
While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!
Thundra Plateau is ready.
Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.
Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…
The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.
Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.
Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.
Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.
Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.
The Dark Forces are watching.
They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.
Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”
Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?
Somewhere dark and spooky…
Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!
The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?
Back to the Dark Forces…
Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.
And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!
The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!