Entertainment
Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Sonja – Loud Arriver (2022)
Gothic Hair Metal crawls into the JAR this week! Sonja’s full-length debut! How does it fair?
So while I don’t have a large metal act to throw into the JAR this week; this popped up often this month as an album that had people’s interest. I tried not to spoil myself, so I just listened to a snippet and I was intrigued. An interesting combination of Gothic Rock and 80s Hair Metal seem to be the formula for this band.
Now the current iteration of this band is born out of bigotry in a way. Melissa Moore (the lead vocalist and guitarist), was in Absu, came out to her bandmates as transgendered and they fired her. So she returned to Philly to resurrect an old side project she started in 2014. So after closed mindedness, anger and a pandemic; we finally get the full length debut of Sonja. Let’s how they fuse some of the darker gothic elements with the bombastic hair metal ways.
Sonja is: Melissa Moore (Guitars & Vocals), Ben Brand (Bass & Keyboards), Gresiek Czapla (Drums & Percussion)
- Artist: Sonja
- Album: Loud Arriver (2022)
- Label: Cruz del Sur Music
- Total Track Time: 37:57
When the Candle Burns Low… starts off with some echoed vocals and a gentle guitar strum. Reminiscent a bit of Aerials from System of a Down. When the rhythm section kicks in, they’ve got a bit of an Iron Maiden gallop, but the echoed vocals remind me of old Candlemass. Even though the lyrics are fantasy draped with witches and flight, the “I’ll Never Die” feels like it’s probably directed towards the unceremonious exit from her former band. I do really enjoy the mix of musical flavors in this song. It’s a very good opener to at least whet the appetite to see what else is to come. Nylon Nights well if you couldn’t tell from the title, this starts off like the most 80s song ever. We can all infer the title is very much on the slinkier/risqué side of night time. Most likely a little diddy about being a Hooker, but I do really like the last few lines of the chorus; “Prowl in the night, Danger and desire keep me alive, Oh there’s nothing inside, nothing inside at all”. Pink Fog is an interesting little shift. The way Melissa’s cadence adjusts through the song, gives me very big The Birthday Massacre vibes. It has the 80s Dokken rhythm to the drums and really does a interesting job at keeping everything in a similar vein, but bringing out the chase/surrounded feeling of the song.
Wanting Me Dead is one of those songs where I’m not going to comment much on the lyrics, because I can’t relate to them; but I understand what they’re getting across. “Priest and preacher wanting me dead, In the congregation’s head, Got the doctor wanting me dead, The prescription that I get, Mother and father wanting me dead, Like brother and sister said, Even the mirror wanting me dead, My reflection burning red”. Musically it is very basic hard rock, it has a few elements that remind me of Helloween and a touch of Bon Jovi, but generally it’s more of a hard rock song with an important feeling to express. Fuck, Then Die I’m pretty sure this was the premise for one of the dorks in Grease 2 who was trying to hookup with his girl. But honestly, I enjoy irreverent concept of if we’re gonna die, might as well fuck until Armageddon. ” I just wanna fuck all day and all night, Anything else is a waste of our time, Gonna make sure you’re feelin’ alright, We’ll be dead tomorrow” – the point is clear. However, critically, this is their weakest song so far. The instrumentation doesn’t steer into either impending doom or “fuck the fear away”, its just a bit on the generic side.
Daughter of the Morning Star returns to the rhythm guitar and bass have that Iron Maiden style gallop again, but when we get to the chorus it’s a bit too open and anthemic. It really sounds more like a Blind Guardian B-side than the goth/hair metal they’ve done so far. Also I was really hoping for a play on Morning Star with a Lucifer reference, instead of like…a fading sun or whatever the fantastical lyrics are exactly about. So this is better than the last song, but still a noticeable step down from the first half of the album so far. Moans From the Chapel exactly the song all WWE fans wanted! The reverse Katie Vick! “Tonight she arrived, To where his body lied, For one last time, In his casket opened wide, Climbed inside, It was so cold between her thighs, She rides him tightly, And her moans from the chapel heard tonight” – in all seriousness, this song starts off great. Its faster tempo, the echoed vocals work well for being inside a chapel, and the darker imagery is very metal and cool. They finally are starting to give 80s Hair Metal vibes cleanly again, like Cinderella defiling a corpse. Good stuff here. Loud Arriver I get huge Judas Priest vibes off this song. Hell I also get Ninja Sex Party vibes because the first verse is corny as hell, but fits the 80s metal motif. Small issue really just being the rhyme scheme and general flow of the chorus, while not awful; it feels extremely forced when trying to punctuate the “Loud Arriver” part. Oh I do like the little Spanish guitar break down toward the end of the song though.
Now I’ll admit it really bogged down in the middle. But we’re looking at the full-length debut and a fairly unique mixture of musical elements. It’s not often when I can reference Candlemass, Ninja Sex Party and Dokken for a band. Some of the biggest issues with different songs was not committing fully to a sound. If its supposed to be raunchy, go fast and dirty, if it’s supposed to be looming; that’s when Black Metal influences will shine.
All in all, it’s a good first album. Even the songs I was disappointed were just generic and not like musical homicide. So there’s a lot of potential, hopefully bigotry and already large political games in the music scene don’t cause this band any unnecessary issues.
Final Judgment: 6.85/10
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Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!
HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…
The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.
The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!
“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?
My Thoughts:
Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!
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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
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Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
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Entertainment
Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]
Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?
In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.
Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).
- Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
- The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
- The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams
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Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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