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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (12/31/22)

The Third Celebration of Greatness!

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HPW HyruleMania 3

The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 36

The greatest Hyrule has to offer battle once again! Will Kage still be HPW Triforce Champion? Or will even he #FalltoRuin at the hands of Igos du Ikana?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • HPW Death Mountain Championship Furious 5 Ladder Match: Torbevito VS Midna VS Aveil VS Odolwa VS Ghirahim; Midna wins and becomes the new HPW Death Mountain Champion.
  • Dark Forces Gibdo Kēvín VS uWo Gibdo Āléx; Kevin wins and is THE Gibdo, Alex must leave HPW.
  • Hair VS Mask, Anything Goes: Groose VS Skull Kid; Skull Kid wins and Groose is now bald.
  • HPW Trios Championships: Arrow Club VS The Dames of the Dunes; The Dames of the Dunes win and become the new HPW Trios Champions.
  • HPW Termina Championship: Fin Balure VS Ganondorf; Ganondorf wins and becomes the new HPW Termina Champion.
  • HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Veran; Zelda wins and retains the title.
  • HPW Triforce Championship: Kage VS Igos du Ikana; Kage wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

Ladies and gents, this is the moment you’ve waited for…

Narration by Rauru says, “And moments like this come around maybe once in a lifetime. Some people live their whole lives and never have a moment like this, so don’t you dare let this one go to waste. Because if you do, you know you’ll regret it for the rest of your life. Take it from this Wise Old Owl, those regrets pile up, but you’ll have less of them if you give it your all in the middle of that ring!” Highlights from last HyruleMania mix with those over the last 12 months since. Zelda was HPW Goddess Champion the whole time as Arrow Club formed and feuded with the Gerudo Alliance. And of course, Kage and Link going back and forth, and truly shedding blood, sweat and tears.

“So don’t let this slip away! Don’t look away! There may be screaming, adoring fans all around you, but the prize is right in front of you! Reach out and grab it with both hands and do NOT let go! You have to seize the day yourself, no one is handing this to you! This is your time, this is your moment, this is the Celebration of Greatness, HyruleMania 3! So if you want to be a star, if you want to be a champion, if you want to be immortal…! Go out there, and make this…” As the song says, “THE GREATEST SHOOOW~!”

 

HPW Death Mountain Championship Furious 5 Ladder Match: Torbevito VS Midna VS Aveil VS Odolwa VS Ghirahim!

Death Mountain is a national monument but also a treacherous climb. Fittingly, this match has been so treacherous that no champion has made it through to retain! With the pressure mounting, will The Son of the Whirlpool be the first to survive the climb? Or will one of his contenders cause him to fall?

Torbevito has brand new Arrow Club related gear, with his mask becoming the Skulltula skull in the Arrow Club logo, and arrows drawn all over his tights, all pointing up. Aveil is wearing Gerudo ceremonial garb, already dedicating this match to her people. Odolwa appears to have brighter feathers in his mask and new, more menacing war paint on his torso, resembling the open mouth of a snake. Ghirahim comes out next, in a gold and purple rendition of his usual outfit, and Midna enters last. She has hologram projections of the Twili cybernetic rune all over, and she comes out in a white ‘n’ gold version of her usual.

There’s a really dazzling effect going on with Midna’s outfit. When the camera is out of the same light, there are runes that appear with an almost black light or glow-in-the-dark effect. Ghirahim rolls his eyes, thinking Midna’s showing off. The introductions are made, the belt is already raised high above, and we see who rises to the challenge to be champion!

HyruleProWrestling DeathMountainTitleNew Torbevito by Cartridge88

The bell rings and of course Ghirahim goes after Midna, while Odolwa BOOTS Torbevito down! Aveil is stunned because he hit Torbevito before she could, but then she starts throwing hands on Odolwa. Torbevito flops out of the ring, Aveil fights Odolwa into a corner. Odolwa turns it around to ROCK her with a big forearm! Midna ROCKS Ghirahim, Ghirahim kicks low then CHOPS back. Midna staggers to ropes, Ghirahim storms up and CHOPS her again! Midna turns things around to CHOP Ghirahim back! Fans fire up as Midna CHOPS Ghirahim again and he sits down! Meanwhile, Odolwa TOSSES Aveil across the ring!

Midna stomps away on Ghirahim, then roars! Fans fire up, but then Torbevito springboard MISSILE DROPKICKS her out of the ring! Torbevito fires up, most fans boo, and then Torbevito aims at Midna for a PLANCHA! Direct hit and down goes Midna! Fans chant “You Still Suck! You Still Suck!” Torbevito says THEY suck, then he goes back to the ring. But Odolwa SUPERKICKS him! Torbevito flounders against ropes, ends up in a corner, and Odolwa runs in to SPLASH! Odolwa pushes Torbevito down, but then Aveil CALF KICKS Odolwa down! Ghirahim gets up to CHOP Aveil! Aveil snarls and ROCKS Ghirahim back!

Ghirahim CHOPS Aveil again! And again! And again! Ghirahim whips but Aveil holds ropes. Ghirahim storms over but Aveil dumps him out! Odolwa is back, he swings on Aveil but she gets around to waistlock. Odolwa fights the lift, elbows Aveil away, but Torbevito runs in! Aveil pops him up and over and Torbevito SATELLITE DDTs Odolwa down! Fans again chant “You Still Suck! You Still Suck!” Aveil runs in, Torbevito goes Matrix to dodge, then he CALF KICKS Aveil! Aveil tumbles out, Ghirahim slides back in! Ghirahim CHOPS Torbevito, Torbevito SOBATS! And KICKS! And ENZIGURIS! Ghirahim flops into a corner!

Torbevito runs to the opposite corner, then runs corner to corner, but Midna SPEARS him! Midna scowls as she drags Torbevito up, scoops him, and runs at Ghirahim! Midna SANDWICHES Torbevito and Ghirahim! Midna puts Torbevito in a Tree of Woe and that traps Ghirahim. Midna then runs corner to corner and she RAMS into them both! Fans rally for Midna and she sits Torbevito up. Midna CHOPS Torbevito on the back! Fans “WOO~!” and Midna trips Ghirahim to drag him out of the corner. Midna turns him around and CATAPULTS Ghirahim into Torbevito’s butt! Then Ghirahim falls back against Midna’s knees!

Midna stands back up and she puts Ghirahim in a drop zone. Midna climbs up behind Torbevito, CLUBS him on the back, then stands him up. But Aveil anchors Midna’s foot! Midna slaps at her but Aveil holds on. Odolwa drags Torbevito off the corner, for an APRON BACK SUPLEX! Fans lose their minds as Odolwa rushes back up to the corner to SHORYUKEN Midna! Midna wobbles, Odolwa climbs up after her, but Aveil also climbs up. Aveil throws hands and Odolwa staggers away. Aveil springboards to CROSSBODY Odolwa down! Ghirahim is back up and he goes after Midna! INVERTED SUPERPLEX!

Fans fire up while all four of them are down, but then they boo as Torbevito flounders back up. Torbevito realizes everyone else is down, and he has a big smile on his face! He grabs a ladder and hurries to put that in! Torbevito sets the ladder up under the belt, and he smiles as he looks up at it. But then he looks down to see Odolwa standing back up. Torbevito’s smile fades, but it’s hard to tell what Odolwa feels because of his mask. But then Odolwa smacks Torbevito off the rungs! Odolwa reels Torbevito into a BIG back suplex! Odolwa then starts to climb the ladder! Fans are torn but then Aveil CLUBS Odolwa on the back!

Fans fire up as Aveil drags Odolwa down and fires off haymakers. Aveil ROLLING ELBOWS Odolwa, Odolwa rebounds and BOOTS her down! The ladder wobbles, Odolwa steadies it, then he climbs. But Midna drags Odolwa back down! Midna ROCKS Odolwa, but then Ghirahim RAMS her into the ladder! The ladder falls over and ends up leaning against ropes! Odolwa DECKS Ghirahim! Odolwa works to stand the ladder back up but this is an awkward angle. He folds the ladder up and sets it down. Odolwa drags Ghirahim up to fireman’s carry. Ghirahim flails and gets free, and he throws Odolwa out of the ring!

Ghirahim goes to the ladder but Aveil runs in to BULLDOG him onto the ladder! Ghirahim shouts “MY FACE!!” as he writhes and clutches his nose! Aveil does clutch her side, she clipped the ladder in the landing. She stretches, picks the ladder up, but Torbevito has another ladder! He RAMS Aveil from behind! She drops the ladder she had, falls onto it, and then Torbevito drops his ladder onto her! Aveil is in a ladder sandwich, and then Torbevito goes to the apron! He springboards to SPLASH onto the ladder sandwich!! Fans lose their minds all over again while Torbevito clutches his ribs and Aveil just sputters in between the metal!

Odolwa returns, but with a chair! He SMACKS Torbevito and Torbevito bails out of the ring! Odolwa SMACKS the ladder sandwich to jam Aveil up! Midna staggers up, Odolwa JAMS her with the chair, then SMACKS her on the back! Ghirahim kicks Odolwa low, throws forearms, then grabs the chair. Ghirahim SMACKS Odolwa on the back! Ghirahim has a bloody nose from that ladder bulldog, but it just adds to his furious snarl. Aveil crawls free of the ladders but Ghirahim SMACKS her with the chair! Aveil writhes and spasms out of the ring while fans boo. Ghirahim puts the chair aside and he stands one of the ladders up.

Ghirahim wipes his bloody nose and he has a red line on his long gold glove. He frowns now that his outfit’s ruined, and he climbs up the ladder. Midna returns and she has the chair! She SMACKS Ghirahim in the back of the leg! Ghirahim ends up with a leg stuck in the rungs! Midna puts the chair down, she drapes Ghirahim off the ladder, DRAPING NECKBREAKER onto the chair!! Fans lose their minds again while Ghirahim clutches the back of his head and curls up into a ball. Midna climbs up the ladder now and fans fire up as she reaches the top! But then Odolwa starts tipping the ladder! Midna falls and HOTSHOTS off the ropes!

Aveil runs in and RAMS Odolwa into a corner! Aveil RAMS her shoulder in again and again, then rolls back to run in, but Odolwa ROUNDHOUSES Aveil first! Odolwa fires off fast palm strikes then a SUPERMAN FOREARM! Aveil staggers, Odolwa folds the ladder while it’s still on its side. Odolwa brings Aveil around, GUTBUSTER on the ladder! Aveil is stuck again, but Odolwa then underhooks her for a BUTTERFLY SUPLEX! Aveil flops out of the ring while fans are torn. Odolwa stands the ladder back up and starts climbing. Torbevito stands the other ladder up next to it! Torbevito climbs his ladder and catches up to Odolwa!

Torbevito CLUBS Odolwa on the back, kicks him, and then climbs up over him! Torbevito reaches out for the belt, but Odolwa CLUBS him on the back! Odolwa drags Torbevito back down, Torbevito hammers away on Odolwa, but Odolwa yanks Torbevito off the rungs into a fireman’s carry! GORON DROP off the ladder! Fans say “This is Awesome!” while both men flop out of the ring! Oh, wait, wait! The taller of the ladders is tipping! Fans cheer as it falls against the ropes! Torbevito staggers up and encounters Aveil. Fans fire up as the two stare down. They then start throwing hands! The fans are thunderous as they fight against the railing and go around the way!

Aveil gets the edge with heavy haymakers, and then she DECKS Torbevito with a forearm! Fans fire up, Aveil high-fives a few, but a Torbevito fan boos and gives thumbs down. Aveil says, “Okay, okay, sorry about your guy.” Aveil goes back to Torbevito, but then this fan jumps the barriers! He CLOBBERS Aveil from behind!! Fans are going nuts as this fan takes off his souvenir Torbellino mask to reveal- WAIT! That’s THE Torbellino!! Torbevito’s dad helps him up off the floor! Fans boo as the Whirlpools stomp Aveil! Then they drag her up to double whip her hard into barriers! The Whirlpools get in the ring while fans now chant, “YOUR DAD SUCKS! YOUR DAD SUCKS!”

Torbevito moves the shorter ladder out of the way and his dad stands the taller ladder up. Fans boo as Torbevito thanks his dad and they hug it out. But then they turn around and see Midna on the top rope! Midna MOONSAULTS to wipe them both out! Fans fire up and some even chant, “You Deserve It!” Midna stands the ladder back up properly, then she climbs. Aveil springboards up onto the other side! Fans are thunderous again as Aveil and Midna wait for the ladder to steady! They glare at each other through the rungs, and then start climbing! They reach the top at the same time and start hand-fighting with the other as they reach for the belt!

Aveil grabs Midna’s hand and SMACKS it off the top of the ladder! Midna shakes that hand out, and that gives Aveil the opening to SMACK Midna’s head off the top! Midna wobbles, Aveil SMACKS her off the top again! Midna drops down a couple rungs! But then Odolwa returns, and he drags Midna off the ladder for a BUCKLE BOMB! Odolwa then storms up to the ladder as Aveil is reaching for the belt! Odolwa shakes the ladder to throw Aveil’s focus off! Odolwa grabs at Aveil but she kicks his hand away. Ghirahim is looking under the ring. He brings out a TABLE! Fans actually cheer Ghirahim, but he isn’t done!

Ghirahim brings out a SECOND TABLE! Fans cheer more, but then are baffled and laughing as Ghirahim sets those tables up. They’re ARGYLE PATTERNED! The same red and yellow he had on the Exquisite Championship! Ghirahim is laughing like a mad man as he has those tables set up ringside! Ghirahim gets in the ring, he CHOPS Odolwa then shoves him out of the way to grab at Aveil! Aveil kicks at Ghirahim, too, but Ghirahim grabs her foot! Ghirahim drags Aveil off the ladder and claws at her eyes! Fans boo as Ghirahim kicks her low. Ghirahim brings Aveil around, brings her up, but Aveil counters the bomb with a headscissor!

Aveil and Ghirahim tumble up and out, onto the apron! Fans are chanting for “TABLES! TABLES!” as the two stand on the edge! Ghirahim ROCKS Aveil with a forearm, Aveil wobbles, but Aveil comes back to ROCK Ghirahim! Ghirahim wobbles now, but he ROCKS Aveil back! Torbevito and his dad grab Ghirahim and Aveil for DOUBLE HOTSHOTS! Ghirahim and Aveil sputter, but they hold onto the ropes! Torbellino Senior tells his son to climb the ladder while he holds these two off! Fans boo as Torbevito starts climbing while Torbellino throws haymakers back and forth on Ghirahim and Aveil!

But Odolwa rises back up! Odolwa turns Torbellino around to HEADBUTT him! And then Odolwa trophy lifts Torbellino, and he aims at Ghirahim and Aveil! Torbevito is freaking out, and even Aveil and Ghirahim are scared, but Midna BOOTS Odolwa down! Torbellino falls down away from Ghirahim and Aveil! Torbevito is relieved, but then he sees Midna glaring up at him. She grabs the ladder, Torbevito begs for mercy, and then hurries to reach up at the belt! Midna YANKS the ladder back, and goes Matrix to get under it! Torbevito falls of the ladder, onto Ghirahim and Aveil, and ALL THREE GO THROUGH THE TABLES!!!

Fans are losing their minds as loud as ever, and Midna has the smuggest smile she’s had, and that includes when she was imp Midna! Midna stands the ladder back up, fans chant her name, and she climbs up unopposed! Midna brings down the belt and she wins!!

Winner: Midna (NEW HPW Death Mountain Champion)

The trend continues! Three years running, and we’ve seen three NEW Death Mountain Champions crowned to start off the Celebration of Greatness! The Twilight Princess makes history, being the first to hold the HPW Goddess and HPW Death Mountain Championships in her career! If this was just the start, how much more happens for HyruleMania 3?

 

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TONIGHT
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FACE YOUR FOE

 

Dark Forces Gibdo Kēvín VS uWo Gibdo Āléx!

After all the feuding and fighting between the Dark Forces and the UnderWorld Order, it has come to this: A battle to determine the Gibdos of All Gibdos! NO ONE from the factions are allowed ringside, this will truly be 1v1! Who will be the last Gibdo standing in HPW?

The Million Rupee Man, Ted Beedle Ossi, accompanies Alex to the ring, but the ref says he can’t be here as a member of the uWo. Beedle says one, he’s the manager to the uWo, not a wrestler, he’s exempt from that ban. And two, he hands the ref a silver Rupee! The ref looks around as he pockets that, and Beedle gets on the mic. “Well this is it! HyruleMania! And I don’t have any idea what Kevin’s going to bring, but I bring to you, the one! The only! From the dark side, Alex Gibdo!” Alex makes his entrance in all silver wrappings with a big uWo sprayed on his chest in black. Alex glistens in the light as he stands in the ring with Beedle.

The Dark Forces music hits, and Wizzro walks out? Where is Kevin? Wizzro signals to the side, and a sarcophagus is wheeled out by mysterious Wizzrobes! Wizzro knows he can’t stay at ringside, but he accompanies the sarcophagus to ringside. And Beedle is baffled by the theatrics, but the sarcophagus opens and out steps Kevin wearing a golden headdress and holding lapis canes! Kevin also shines in the light with purple and gold wrappings as he steps into the ring! Fans cheer as Kevin then slowly takes off the headdress to reveal his eyes rolling to the back of his head! Beedle gets scared right off the apron while Wizzro laughs!

Kevin and Alex stare down, fans cheering as Kevin has already shown up Alex. Wizzro exits the ring and heads to the back while Beedle is nervous at ringside. The bell rings and fans fire up, “Let’s Go, Kevin!” The Gibdos get face to face, and Kevin slashes his throat. Alex swings a punch, Kevin blocks to kick and uppercut! Kevin whips, Alex ducks ‘n’ dodges to RAM shoulders! Neither Gibdo falls, and they get forehead to forehead. Alex ROCKS Kevin with a forearm, then an uppercut! Alex whips, Kevin reverses, then Kevin hurdles and BOOTS! Alex stays up but Kevin UPPERCUTS him out of the ring!

Fans fire up as Alex staggers up, but Beedle gets on the apron. Kevin glares at Beedle, and Beedle backs off. Alex slides in and swings on Kevin, but Kevin dodges and ROCKS Alex back! Alex tumbles to the apron again, but Kevin drags him up, to suplex him back in! But Alex sits right up! Kevin kicks Alex, choke grips, but Alex fights it. Kevin SHOVES Alex out of the ring! Kevin goes out after Alex to smack him off the apron, and UPPERCUT him again! Alex staggers, Kevin gets back in the ring and drags Alexa up to the apron. But Alex HOTSHOTS Kevin away! Kevin staggers, Alex hurries in, and Alex ROCKS Kevin with uppercut after uppercut!

Alex brings Kevin over to the corner with a wristlock, and he climbs up the corner! But Kevin choke grips Alex! SUPER CHOKE SLAM!! Fans fire up but Alex sits up again! Kevin kicks and wrenches Alex, brings him to the corner now and he climbs up. Fans fire up as Kevin goes Old School! Down goes Alex with the ax handle! Kevin bumps Alex off buckles, kicks him, and whips him to ropes. Alex reverses and FLAPJACK HOTSHOTS Kevin! Kevin staggers about, Alex UPPERCUTS him again! And then ROCKS him with a haymaker! Kevin UPPERCUTS, Alex UPPERCUTS! Alex runs to LARIAT, but Kevin stays up!

Alex runs the ropes again, to LARIAT! Kevin goes down, fans boo Alex, but he runs the ropes. Now Kevin sits up! Alex’s elbow drop misses, he staggers up, and Kevin RAMS him into the ropes! Kevin fires off haymakers and elbows, then a HEADBUTT! Kevin throws more haymakers, then runs side to side, but Alex dumps Kevin out! Fans boo but Alex goes out after Kevin, to POST him! Kevin staggers, Alex CLUBS him, but fans rally up with “Let’s Go, Kevin!” Alex smacks Kevin off the steel steps! Alex slides in the ring, Kevin follows, but Alex is on Kevin with haymakers of his own! Alex fires off, the ref counts, but Alex stomps Kevin down.

Kevin crawls along ropes but Alex keeps on him with haymakers and HEADBUTTS! Kevin stands up, Alex ROCKS him, but Kevin comes back. Alex grows frustrated, but Kevin UPPERCUTS him! Kevin whips, Alex ducks and choke grips! SIT-OUT CHOKE SLAM! Fans boo as Alex looms over Kevin! Alex dares Kevin to do something, and Kevin sits up again! Alex throws hands, scoops Kevin and has him in position, TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! Beedle is fired up, but then Kevin sits back up! Alex scoops Kevin again, but Kevin kicks and turns it around onto Alex! Fans fire up for the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! Beedle is stunned, and then Kevin drags Alex back up!

Kevin scoops Alex again, for another TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!! Kevin is showing no mercy as he drags Alex up again! Fans fire up as Kevin scoops Alex again, for A THIRD TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER!!! Cover, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kēvín, by pinfall (Āléx must leave HPW)

The Dark Forces didn’t need to help Kevin, he beat Alex all by himself! Beedle is furious, especially as the Wizzrobes return to reopen the sarcophagus! Kevin puts Alex into the sarcophagus and closes it! Now Kevin is truly the Gibdo of All Gibdos in HPW! Will this be a new era for the Dark Forces? And how will the uWo make a recovery from losing big at the end of the year?

 

Hair VS Mask, Anything Goes: Groose VS Skull Kid!

Two friends torn apart by ambition and anger now battle to see if there is anything that can be salvaged. No one else is allowed ringside, but these two can do anything to each other to win! Will Groose lose his hair on top of losing a friend? Or is Skull Kid’s transformation into something sinister only just beginning?

Groose is wearing silver and green, a very Link-like outfit. It is surely a shoutout to his “buddy,” who hasn’t been seen since his lost to Kage at Clash of Fates. As for “Swole Kid,” he continues to grow muscular. He might even be a bit taller… Is this still that Skull Kid? Maybe taking off that mask will prove it. Skull Kid wags his finger, he’s not going to fall for any tricks. The bell rings and the two circle. They approach, and then Skull Kid pokes Groose in the eye! Fans boo but Skull Kid flips them off. Skull Kid then CLUBS Groose, CLUBS him again, and pulls his hair! “This’ll be gone soon!” Skull Kid laughs but fans boo.

Groose stands up, shoves Skull Kid away, then kicks him low. Groose bumps Skull Kid off buckles, and again, and again! Fans fire up as Groose keeps going, all the way to TEN! Skull Kid staggers about, Groose scoops him, and Groose runs, but Skull Kid slips off! Skull Kid ENZIGURIS Groose down! Skull Kid stomps away on Groose, then drags him up to bump him off buckles. Skull Kid bumps Groose off buckles again and again, but Groose stops him at six! Groose throws body shots, then he HEADBUTTS Skull Kid! That didn’t really do anything to Skull Kid… Skull Kid HEADBUTTS Groose and Groose falls against the buckles!

Skull Kid stomps a mudhole into Groose, then digs both boots into Groose’s face! Skull Kid taunts Groose, telling him to use that strength now! Skull Kid then jumps to swing, but Groose catches him for a SPINEBUSTER! “How’s that?!” Fans cheer as Groose pulls buckle pads off the corner. Groose gets Skull Kid’s legs, and fans fire up as he lines up the shot! But Skull Kid throws hands from below! And he kicks free! Skull Kid kicks Groose and BOOTS him into the buckles! Groose clutches his back as he staggers, and Skull Kid drop toeholds Groose down! Skull Kid floats to get the arms and turn Groose over for a ghost pin, TWO!

Skull Kid pulls Groose by his hair again but Groose grabs the mask! The two of them go around like that, end up against ropes, and Skull Kid knees Groose low! Skull Kid KNEES Groose in the side, then waistlocks. Groose fights the lift, throws elbows, then switches with Skull Kid. Skull Kid fights the lift now, he throws back elbows, and then he runs the ropes. Groose follows, Skull Kid ducks the clothesline and runs again. Groose sidesteps Skull Kid to go the other way, and Groose POUNCES Skull Kid! Skull Kid hits ropes then flops out of the ring! Fans fire up as Groose goes out after him.

Groose drags Skull Kid up, RAMS him into barriers, then brings Skull Kid around. Groose whips Skull Kid hard into barriers! Skull Kid crawls but Groose stalks him around the way. Groose drags Skull Kid up, and whips him hard into more barriers! Skull Kid goes down in a heap, but then Groose runs in to KNEE Skull Kid against the steps! Groose drags Skull Kid up, brings him around, and whips him into the steel steps! Fans fire up as the steps come apart! Skull Kid flounders, Groose storms up and stomps him! Groose stomps a mudhole into Skull Kid against the barriers! Front row fans fire up now that they’re even closer to the action!

Groose drags Skull Kid up and puts him in the ring. Groose drags Skull Kid from the ropes for a BIG elbow drop! Cover off the elbow, TWO! Skull Kid crawls away but Groose drags him back up. “I don’t like having to beat you up. Just take off the mask and it’ll be over.” Skull Kid stomps Groose’s foot! Groose hobbles and clutches that foot, then Skull Kid CHOP BLOCKS the other leg! Groose falls over, and Skull Kid lines up a shot. BLINDSIDE LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Skull Kid stomps Groose down, then goes outside to go looking under the ring. Fans chant “We Want Tables!” like they did earlier, but Skull Kid just flips them all off again.

Skull Kid brings out chair after chair after chair after chair and puts all those in the ring. Skull Kid storms up to Groose but Groose ROCKS him with a right! Groose then back suplexes Skull Kid on the chairs! Fans fire up while both men writhe from the landing. Fans rally up as Groose and Skull Kid rise. Skull Kid grabs a chair and he JAMS Groose! Then SMACKS him on the back! Groose drops to his hands and knees, Skull Kid SMACKS him on the back again! And then SMACKS him again, and again, and again! That last one gets Groose in the arm! Groose shakes the arm out while he crawls and scoots away, but Skull Kid stalks him.

Skull Kid stands on Groose’s foot! Groose kicks at Skull Kid but Skull Kid kicks him back! Skull Kid SMACKS the other leg! Groose barks in pain as he clutches that leg! Skull Kid looms over Groose, and no one can tell what he feels right now because of that damn mask with the big scary eyes! Skull Kid stomps Groose into a corner, and digs his boot in again. Groose claws at Skull Kid but Skull Kid just stomps him again. Skull Kid then runs corner to corner for a FULL METAL HESITATION DROPKICK! Fans are wincing seeing that one! Skull Kid drags Groose to a cover, TWO!! Groose survives being crushed, and Skull Kid pounds the mat in frustration.

Skull Kid sets the chair on Groose’s chest, then DOUBLE STOMPS on the chair! Groose sputters, Skull Kid pushes him into a cover, TWO!! Groose still coughs and sputters but Skull Kid gathers the chairs. Skull Kid drags Groose, Groose resists, but Skull Kid CLUBS him. Skull Kid brings Groose over to the chair pile, trips Groose onto the chairs, which is rough, and then Skull Kid has Groose’s legs. Skull Kid stomps Groose in the stomach! Skull Kid digs his foot into Groose’s gut, then steps on him on the way to the corner. Fans boo as Skull Kid climbs up, but he soaks up the heat by flipping them all off again. But then Groose CLUBS Skull Kid on the back!

Fans fire up as Groose CLUBS Skull Kid again and brings him off the corner. Groose chicken wings Skull Kid! Fans fire up as Groose turns Skull Kid! FULL METAL LOFTWING DRIVER!! Groose drags Skull Kid to a cover, TWO?!? No one can believe that Skull Kid is still in this! Groose is conflicted, and he tells Skull Kid to stop this. Groose doesn’t want to hurt Skull Kid. But then Skull Kid twitches and spasms! Skull Kid bridges up and starts spider-walking towards Groose! Groose scrambles away in fear! Fans are also freaking out a bit as Skull Kid keeps creeping his way up! Skull Kid then twists around and stands up. Groose kicks Skull Kid in the leg!

Groose then gets around, but Skull Kid fights the back suplex with a headlock and punches! Skull Kid HEADBUTTS Groose, then HEADBUTTS him again, and again, and again! Groose drops to his knees, forehead busted open, and fans are booing thunderously as Skull Kid gets a chair. Groose staggers to his feet, and Skull Kid SMACKS him on the back with that chair! Groose falls over face first! Skull Kid looms over Groose while fans boo even louder! Skull Kid sets that chair under Groose’s head! Fans freak out and many chant “NO! NO! NO!” as Skull Kid grabs another chair! Skull Kid raises the chair, but he stands still.

Is Skull Kid conflicted now? Does he not want to do what he’s about to do? Skull Kid’s head twitches and jerks around, and then he brings the chair down to SMACK himself in the head! Skull Kid stands there, head hung low, but he still holds onto the chair. Skull Kid then straightens up and he raises the chair again! CON-CHAIR-TO FOR GROOSE!!! Fans lose their minds again as Skull Kid covers Groose! SKULL KID WINS!!

Winner: Skull Kid, by pinfall (keeps his mask; Groose loses his hair)

Fans can’t believe it! Groose’s pointy red pompadour is now going to be sacrificed! Skull Kid drags Groose out of the ring, and fireman’s carries him up the ramp. A barber’s chair is brought out on stage, and Skull Kid makes Groose sit in it. Skull Kid takes the scissors from the presumed barber, and he just starts going to town! Many fans, male and female alike, are weeping for Groose’s hair! Skull Kid has lopped off the pointy peak, and now he gets the electric razor to take the rest! Skull Kid shows no mercy, both in the ring and with Groose’s hair. Will nothing stop Skull Kid from doing what he wants in the New Year?

 

HPW Trios Championships: Arrow Club VS The Dames of the Dunes!

While Bad Croc Scaly & The Young Ducks may not like it, while they may call it “exploiting a loophole,” the combination of Tali, Buliara & Riju won their way to this match fair and square! In this rematch of Arrow Club and Gerudo Sisterhood, will the Dames get their gold back? Or will the Celebration of Greatness become a Super Quack Party?

To match Torbevito’s ring gear from earlier, Arrow Club all have arrows on their gear to point up. Scaly’s sunglasses are even shaped like arrows pointing up! But to also match Aveil, the Dames are wearing their own ceremonial garb. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if the Dames make history to end the year!

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The trios sort out and Rick Quackson starts against Tali. Fans duel, “Let’s Go, Da-ames~!” “Arrow Club!” “Let’s Go, Da-ames~!” “Arrow Club!” as Rick and Tali circle. The two tie up, they go around, and Tali powers Rick right into the corner! Tali RAMS her shoulder in again and again, but the ref counts. Tali tags in Buliara, they double whip Rick to ropes, and then double shoulder Rick over! Buliara covers, TWO, but Buliara stays on Rick with forearms. Buliara CHOPS Rick at the ropes, ROCKS him, then bumps him off buckles. Tag back to Tali and Tali throws forearms of her own. Shabonne hypes Tali up as she whips but Rick reverses!

Tali goes up and over in the corner, but Rick DECKS Buliara! Riju avoids getting hit, Tali runs in but Rick elbows her away. Rick kicks then whips but Tali reverses! Rick goes up and out, “See ya!” PENALTY KICK for Riju! Tali rushes over but Rick shoulders in. Rick then slingshots, “You’re dead!” FACEBUSTER! Rick handsprings to the apron for a MOONSAULT, but Buliara stays clear of it! Buliara then runs in to CLOBBER Rick! Fans fire up as Tali BLASTS Mack and Scaly at the corner! Tali stomps Scaly and drags Mack up at the same time Buliara drags Rick up. They coordinate, pick the Quacksons up, and they run in around the way to SANDWICH them!

Fans fire up as Tali TOSSES Mack into the timekeeper’s area! Buliara puts Rick in the ring, Tali joins her. Buliara feeds Rick to Tali’s UPPERCUT! Buliara runs and BOOTS Rick down! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up as Tali drags Rick up and tags in Buliara. They mug Rick, fans rally more, and Buliara forearms Rick until he sits down. Buliara then runs in to SLIDING KNEE! Cover, TWO! Rick stays in this and reaches out for Mack at the corner. Buliara drags Rick away, tags in Tali, and they mug Rick. Tali snap suplexes Rick, floats to the cover, TWO! Tali stays between the Quacksons, ROCKS Rick, then wrenches and whips Rick hard into a corner!

Rick bounces off buckles, Tali covers, TWO! Tag to Riju now, she climbs up top and Tali has Rick in a facelock. Riju drops AX HANDLES! Fans rally and Riju stands Rick up, but Rick CHOPS her! Riju ROCKS Rick back! Riju kicks low, reels Rick in, and Riju suplexes, but Rick knees free! Rick staggers into the Dames’ corner, Tali grabs him, but Rick elbows Tali away. Riju kicks, whips but Rick ducks under and slides out to trip Tali off the apron! Buliara rushes Rick but he slides back in! Riju dropkicks Rick! Buliara drags Rick out to the apron, CLUBS him on the back, and the ref has to keep Scaly back! Buliara reels Rick in and picks him up!

Fans fire up but Rick fights free of the driver! SUPERKICK for Buliara! Riju rushes over, Rick dumps her out! Rick hurries to waistlock Buliara! APRON GERMAN SUPLEX! Fans fire up again, Rick crawls for his corner, hot tag to Mack! Mack fires off hands on Tali and Buliara! Then CHOPS for each of them! And more haymakers! Throat chop for Buliara! Tali blocks the throat chop but Mack kicks her low, DDT! Riju returns to kick Mack! Rick whips Mack corner to corner, Mack reverses, Riju tumbles up the corner! Mack drags her off the top, and he shouts to Rick as he has Riju in gut wrench position!

Rick hurries to the apron but Riju fights free! Riju CHOPS Mack, whips him to the corner, then runs in. Mack BOOTS Riju, then goes up the corner, “YOU’RE DEAD!” FLYING DIAMOND DUST! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up, Buliara reaches out to Riju, but Mack DECKS her! Mack goes back to Riju for a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Mack rolls back to hit another NORTHERN LIGHTS! And then another! The Hebra Locomotion is speeding up, but Riju fights the next one! Riju uses the ropes for the TORNADO DDT! Both wrestlers are down and the fans fire up again! A standing count starts, and it reaches 4 of 10 as both wrestlers crawl! Hot tags to Scaly and Tali!

Fans fire up seeing the biggest and baddest get in the match! And the forearms start flying! Tali ROCKS Scaly, Scaly ROCKS Tali, repeat! Fans fire up as the forearms go back and forth, faster and faster! Scaly and Tali start slowing down, they wobble a bit, and then they start throwing forearms again! Fans fire up all over again! Scaly gets the edge, whips Tali to ropes, but Tali ducks ‘n’ dodges to SPEAR Scaly down! The Ducks get in and DOUBLE SUPERKICK Tali! Buliara runs in, the Ducks dodge and DOUBLE SUPERKICK her, too! Riju is up top! She CROSSBODIES and hits both Ducks! Fans fire up with Riju, but Scaly CLOBBERS her!

Riju flops out of the ring, and Scaly storms over to Tali. Scaly drags Tali up with a choke grip, and he prepares his other hand! But then Buliara grabs that hand! Scaly is shocked, and Buliara & Tali double body shot him! Tali & Buliara reel him in, but Scaly fights the double suplex! Scaly lifts Buliara & Tali! But they fight to stay planted on the ground! Buliara & Tali try to double suplex again! Scaly fights the lift, and the struggle for suplex control is on! The Ducks join in! But even 3v2, they can’t suplex Tali & Buliara! Buliara & Tali DOUBLE- Er, TRIPLE SUPLEX Arrow Club!! Fans are thunderous as Tali & Buliara roar and rise back up!

Buliara & Tali stomp and kick the Ducks out of the ring and drag Scaly up. Tali & Buliara run to BODY PRESS SANDWICH him! Scaly wobbles, Buliara & Tali try to scoop him, but he’s so big! The ref reprimands, Buliara has to exit. Buliara grumbles and slides out of the ring, and she goes to the corner. Tali tags her in and they go after Scaly again. They hammer away on Scaly, then scoop him again. Scaly is still big, but Buliara & Tali somehow lift him!! DOUBLE PILEDRIVER!!! Cover, but the Ducks break it in time!! Fans are thunderous while Buliara & Tali go after the Ducks! They brawl, Tali & Buliara both CLUB the Ducks!

Tali & Buliara double whip the Ducks, but the Ducks hold the ropes to stop themselves. Buliara & Tali rush in, but the Ducks dump them both out! Rick whips Mack and Mack comes back to WRECK Both Tali and Buliara with a dropkick! Mack then skins the cat, but only to hold the ropes down! Rick builds speed to FLY! Rick wipes out both Buliara & Tali! Shabonne is freaking out but the fans are fired up! The Ducks drag Buliara into the ring and Scaly is back up. Scaly shakes out the cobwebs, he drags Buliara up in the choke grip! Scaly hits the GRENADE!! Cover, RIJU’S ULTIMATE ELBOW DROP BREAKS IT!!

Fans are going nuts and the Ducks can’t believe Riju got past them! The Ducks go after Riju! Tali runs in to DOUBLE SPEAR the Ducks!! Tali stands Buliara back up! Buliara is wobbly, Tali gives her some slaps to wake her up. Tali tells her, “We can do this! We can do this!” Buliara nods and fires up again! Buliara tags Riju in and then helps Tali drag Scaly up. Buliara has Scaly’s legs, Tali has Scaly’s arms, and Riju climbs up onto their shoulders! HAMMOCK SPLASH!! Cover, THE DAMES WIN!!

Winners: The Dames of the Dunes, by pinfall (NEW HPW Trios Champions)

Redemption! Riju is immediately emotional, Buliara picks her up for a big hug and they spin around! Tali and Shabonne join in, and then the referee brings them the titles. The new champions take the belts, and then hold them over their heads. The Dames shout “SA’OTEEEN~!” and the fans echo it back, “SA’OTEEEN~!” The Gerudo Sisterhood has gold again, will 2023 truly be their year?

 

HPW Termina Championship: Fin Balure VS Ganondorf!

The legacy of this title continues to grow. The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla has carried this title for 365 days, and could win himself that one-year medal! Or he could lose all he’s worked for to the Gerudo Ace! Will Fin become the third person in HPW to reach a year as champion? Or will Ganondorf become HPW’s first-ever Triple Crown Winner?

Fin also has arrow pattern ring gear, but also a really cool LED jacket and a shark tooth bandana. As for Ganondorf, he has a brand new boar headdress with a lot of black and gold in the shaggy mane. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who becomes a history maker!

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The bell rings and fans rally and duel, “Let’s Go, Balure!” “GANONDORF!” “Let’s Go, Balure!” “GANONDORF!” Ganondorf and Fin slowly circle, approach, feel out a knuckle lock, but then back off. They circle, go again, and Fin wrenches a knuckle lock into a wristlock. Fin keeps Ganondorf from the ropes and twists the wrist more. Ganondorf endures, rolls, wrenches and wristlocks back. Fin reaches out for ropes but Ganondorf keeps him away. Ganondorf snapmares Fin then KICKS him in the back! Fin grits his teeth while Ganondorf smirks as he looms over him. Ganondorf drags Fin up to CHOP against the ropes.

Ganondorf follows Fin to a corner, CHOPS him again, but then Fin turns things around to CHOP Ganondorf! Ganondorf smirks as he stares Fin down. Fin looks around, upset, and he CHOPS again! Ganondorf eggs Fin on, Fin CHOPS again, and again, and again! Ganondorf turns things back around on Fin to CHOP! Fin sits right down and fans fire up! Ganondorf stomps a mudhole into Fin, the ref counts, and Ganondorf lets off at 4. Ganondorf drags Fin up, whips him corner to corner hard, and Fin bounces off buckles! Fin flounders as Ganondorf storms up to him. Ganondorf eggs Fin on as fans continue to duel.

Fin stands up to CHOP again! That one Ganondorf felt! Fin throws a forearm, CHOPS, throws another forearm, and CHOPS again! Fin whips, Ganondorf reverses but Fin ducks ‘n’ dodges to FLYING FOREARM! Ganondorf goes down! Fans fire up, Ganondorf gets up, Fin forearms him down again! Ganondorf staggers up and Fin fires off haymakers and body shots! Ganondorf ends up in the corner, Fin fires off more shots. The ref counts, Fin whips Ganondorf corner to corner and runs in to CHOP! Fin whips corner to corner again, but Ganondorf comes back to CLOBBER him! Ganondorf roars but fans are torn.

Fin crawls to ropes, Ganondorf stalks him, but Fin kicks him away. Fin gets out of the ring but Ganondorf is in pursuit. Fin catches his breath at commentary, but Ganondorf storms up and CLOBBERS him from behind! Rusl holds onto his drink, he had enough spills last time. Ganondorf CLUBS Fin towards the barriers but the ring count is climbing. Ganondorf storms up but Fin dropkicks his legs out! Fin stomps Ganondorf against the barriers, the ref reprimands, and Fin hurries back into the ring. Fin wants the ring count to handle Ganondorf, and we’re past 7 of 10! Ganondorf hobbles at 8, and he slides in at 9!

Fin stomps away on Ganondorf at the ropes! The ref counts, Fin stops at 4, but then springboard stomps Ganondorf! And again! The ref counts again, Fin backs off, then he runs to basement dropkick Ganondorf back out of the ring! Fin shouts “COUNT!” The ref starts counting again, Ganondorf is up faster and slides in at 5 of 10, only to slide back out as Fin goes to stomp! Ganondorf grabs Fin’s leg, trips him and drags him out, to THROW him into the barriers! Fans fire up as Ganondorf starts stomping Fin now! The ref counts, Ganondorf drags Fin up to atomic drop him on the barriers! Fans feel Fin’s pain being dropped on his bait ‘n’ tackle.

Ganondorf mocks Fin’s pain, then gets space to run up and CLOBBER Fin off the barriers! Fin ends up in the front row, the ref tells Ganondorf to get this back in the ring, and Ganondorf drags Fin back up. But Fin SMASHES Ganondorf with a fan’s drink! The ref reprimands, the camera is covered in soda or something, and Fin gets up on the barriers to drop AX HANDLES on Ganondorf! Ganondorf stumbles and falls against the apron but Fin SHOVES him into to the steel steps! Ganondorf sputters as he doubles over on top of the steps. Fin then puts Ganondorf’s hand between steps and ring post!

The ref reprimands and tells Fin to back off, but Fin DROPKICKS the steps to jam Ganondorf’s hand! Ganondorf shouts and curses from the pain! Fin gets Ganondorf’s arm again and brings Ganondorf back to the steps but Ganondorf resists. Ganondorf reels Fin in to ROCK him with his good forearm! Ganondorf SMACKS Fin’s face off the steps! Ganondorf refreshes the ring count and pursues Fin again. Ganondorf brings Fin around, whips him, but Fin reverses to POST Ganondorf! Fin hurries to grab the bad arm and he wraps it around the post! The ref reprimands and counts as Fin pulls on the arm!

Fin stops at 4, kicks Ganondorf while he’s down on his knees, then stomps the bad arm before going into the ring. Fin soaks up the heat while Ganondorf shakes out the bad hand. Ganondorf stands up but he wants Fin to stay back. The ref keeps Fin back, Ganondorf steps in through the ropes, and the two reset. They circle, Ganondorf keeps the bad hand back but Fin wants after it. Ganondorf kicks Fin low, CHOPS him, but Fin grabs the bad hand! Fin wrenches to a wristlock but Ganondorf grabs the ropes! The ref counts the break, Fin kicks the bad hand at 4! Ganondorf clutches the hand, grits his teeth, and kicks Fin low again.

Ganondorf puts Fin through the ropes, ROCKS him, and Fin slumps on the middle rope. Ganondorf runs side to side, but Fin avoids the knee lift! Fin GAMANGIRIS Ganondorf away, climbs up the corner, and leaps, but Ganondorf catches him, and hits a SPINEBUSTER! Jackknife bridge, TWO! Ganondorf hurries after Fin to go for the underhooks! Fin wrenches out to twist the bad hand! Ganondorf swings, Fin gets under the haymaker to wrap Ganondorf up! Ripcord, SLINGBLADE! Fin fires up, fans are torn, and Fin aims from a corner. Ganondorf stands up, Fin runs in, SHOTGUN DROPKICK! Ganondorf is sent into buckles!

Fin drags Ganondorf into the drop zone and goes back up the corner! Fans fire up as Fin reaches the top. COUP DE- NO, Ganondorf avoids the double stomps! Fin staggers, perhaps jamming a leg, and he turns around into the double underhooks! DEMISE DRIVER! Cover, TWO!?! Fin survives and no one can believe it! Ganondorf snarls and seethes, and he drags Fin up. Ganondorf reels him in but has to shake out the bad hand. Ganondorf brings Fin up, but Fin throws punches to fight the bomb! Fin sunset flips, TWO! Ganondorf knees Fin low! Ganondorf reels Fin in again, but Fin trips him! DOUBLE STOMPS! Both men are down and fans fire up!

A standing count begins, and Fin staggers up at 5 of 10. Fin hobbles over to Ganondorf, drags him up and hooks an arm. Ganondorf fights the Half Hatch, then lifts and TOSSES Fin away! Fin staggers up, Ganondorf RAMS him into a corner, and then clinches for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Fin staggers up again, Ganondorf gets around him for a NECKBREAKER! Both men are down again, fans fire back up, and then Ganondorf kips up! Fans are thunderous as Ganondorf roars! Ganondorf drags Fin up, underhooks him again, but Fin wrenches out again! Wait, he’s BITING Ganondorf’s bad hand! Fans boo and the ref reprimands!

Fin wrenches and WRINGS the arm! Ganondorf clutches the shoulder but Fin grabs the arm again. Fin twists the wrist and bends the elbow! Fin isolates the arm, and he STOMPS it! Ganondorf shouts in pain as he writhes and clutches the arm! Fin waits for Ganondorf to stand, then he runs in, SLING- NO, Ganondorf shoves Fin away! Fin dodges Ganondorf’s clothesline and runs again, but into a SHOTGUN BOOT!! Cover, GANONDORF WINS!!

Winner: Ganondorf, by pinfall (NEW HPW Termina Champion)

Fans can’t believe it! The Gerudo Ace pulls a trump card from outta nowhere! And now, he is the first to accomplish the HPW Triple Crown! Triforce to Trios to Termina title, is it truly Ganondorf’s time?

 

HPW Goddess Championship: Zelda VS Veran!

The Princess of Hyrule stands at 730 DAYS as champion, the longest reign in HPW history, and the longest reign in women’s wrestling period! But she’s gone back and forth with the legendary Sorceress of Shadows, and this is a massive tiebreaker! Will Zelda win here to solidify a TWO YEAR reign? Or will the legend begin anew in HPW?

But wait, before the introductions, Humpback Hook Halibut makes his entrance! Fans fire up to see the Sea-rebral Assassin, but he has something in a velvet bag. Hook thanks the fans for coming out for HyruleMania 3, for supporting HPW, and asks if they’ve enjoyed everything so far tonight. The fans cheer because they have! Hook says, “Zelda’s two year reign is a milestone rarely seen in the world of pro-wrestling, especially in this modern era. And Women’s Wrestling has truly risen to new heights these last few years, and especially here tonight. To properly embody that spirit, HPW has redesigned the Goddess Championship!”

Hook takes the item out of the bag and holds it up in the spotlight!

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Fans marvel at the new and improved HPW Goddess title! “May this new title mark the new era of Women’s Wrestling in Hyrule!” Hook and Zelda shake hands as she hands over the old model. The introductions are made, referee Maron Ron Ron raises the new belt, and now the stakes are raised on this already historic match!

The bell rings and fans duel, “ZEL~DA!” “VER~AN!” It starts to blend into “ZEL~RAN!” “VER~DA!” Veran and Zelda slowly circle then approach. They feel out the grapple, then Zelda KICKS Veran in the leg! Veran shakes that off and the two circle more. They feel out the grapple, and Zelda KICKS Veran again! Veran shakes it off but she frowns a bit. The two go again, and Veran catches Zelda’s kick this time! Veran throws Zelda down by that leg, drops down on her to get a waistlock, and rolls Zelda to a bridge! ONE, the two stand off and fans applaud. Zelda is annoyed, and she shoots in to go after Veran’s leg.

Veran holds off the takedown with a facelock and sprawl. Veran gator rolls with Zelda, but keeps her from the ropes. Zelda fights around, Veran pushes her over to a cover, TWO as Zelda bridges up! Zelda snapmares Veran but then Veran bridges up to snapmare back! Veran wraps on a headlock but Zelda slips out the back to headlock in return. Zelda shifts and almost has a Bully Choke, but Veran shifts around to roll Zelda to a cover! TWO and Zelda holds onto the headlock. Fans rally and duel as Veran fights to her feet. Zelda thrashes the hold to bring her back down. Veran fights up again and throws body shots.

Veran powers Zelda to ropes, then powers out of the headlock. Veran scoops Zelda for a tilt-o-whirl, but Zelda turns it into an arm-drag! And then Zelda hits another arm-drag! And then Zelda dropkicks Veran down! Veran bails out, Zelda kips up and fans fire up! Zelda dares Veran to come back for more while Veran fixes her hair. Veran storms up the steel steps, steps in the ring, and storms up to Zelda. They tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, go around, and Veran puts Zelda against the ropes. Referee Maron Ron Ron counts, Veran and Zelda slowly let off the grapple. Fans applaud the sportsmanship, and now Veran dares Zelda to come back for more.

Zelda steps out from the corner and fans rally back up. Zelda and Veran circle and tie up again. Veran headlocks, hits a takeover, but Zelda headscissors. Veran kips free, Zelda reverses roles to hit the headlock takeover, but Veran headscissors. Zelda kips free, Veran sweeps her legs and covers, TWO as Zelda goes Matrix to slip free! Zelda kicks but Veran ducks it to roll her up! TWO, Veran rushes back in but Zelda drop toeholds to bring her down! Zelda floats and gets a leg but Veran scrambles around. Zelda holds on to the foot but Veran kicks her away with the other leg. Zelda comes back to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO!

Fans fire up again but Zelda is annoyed. Zelda grabs at Veran’s arms but Veran resists. Veran kicks at Zelda, Zelda stomps Veran, then Zelda drops an elbow! Zelda grabs Veran’s arm and twists it around! KIMURA! Fans fire up as Veran endures! Veran reaches out, crawls forward, but Zelda cranks the double wristlock! Veran kicks and flails, moves around, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Maron counts and Zelda lets go at 4. Zelda waits on Veran as she stands up and shakes out the arm. They tie up again, Zelda of course wrenches the bad arm, and Zelda goes for the chicken wing! Veran hurries to get free, and she ROCKS Zelda with a forearm!

Zelda staggers, Veran gets around and waistlocks. Veran ripcords Zelda to BEE STING! Veran then reels Zelda in for a SPINEBUSTER! Veran hooks up Zelda’s legs and then goes after the arms! Zelda scrambles now so she can get the ROPEBREAK! Veran lets Zelda go even before a count, and says she was that close to getting the Spider Web. Zelda is even more annoyed now while the fans rally up. Zelda and Veran reset again, approach, and Zelda kicks low. Zelda wrenches the bad arm, Veran swings on her but Zelda ducks the haymaker and gets around. Zelda wraps Veran up, STRAITJACKET GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!

Zelda still has the arms! She wraps Veran up in a straitjacket stretch! Veran endures, especially as Zelda digs her knee into Veran’s back. Fans rally up and Veran fights up, but Zelda throws her down! Zelda now has somewhere between a straitjacket stretch and a camel clutch! Veran fights up again, and then wriggles the straitjacket up to arm-drag free! Zelda gets up, but she ducks as Veran swings a clothesline. Zelda fires off her strike fest, BOLERO OF- NO, Veran ducks the enziguri! Veran storms up but Zelda slides under! Veran turns around into a HYLIAN KISS! Down goes Veran while Zelda wobbles and fans fire up!

Zelda shakes out the stars going around her head, and she grabs Veran’s arms by the wrists. Zelda sits Veran up, LIGHT- NO, Veran ducks under the knee! Veran holds onto Zelda’s arms to pull her back, sunset flip! ONE, but Veran has the SPIDER WEB!! Fans rally and duel as Zelda endures! Veran and her fans shout for Zelda to “TAP! TAP!” but Zelda’s fans shout “NO! NO! NO!” Zelda can only reach out with her head, but Veran drags her from the ropes! Fans fire up more as Zelda refuses to quit! Zelda uses her core to sit up! Zelda steps up to RANA and cover! TWO!! Veran staggers up again, into a SERENADE OF WATER!! Cover, TWO!!!

Zelda is furious but fans say “This is Awesome!” Zelda stalks Veran as she slowly rises, and then Zelda clamps on for the chicken wing! Veran scrambles as Zelda tries to finish the Impa Lock! Veran grabs the ropes with her free arm! Maron counts the ropebreak, Zelda lets off the crossface to ROCK Veran in the back! Zelda gets the other arm to chicken wing it, too! TIGER SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! But Zelda holds onto the arm, for the IMPA LOCK!!! Fans are thunderous as Veran endures and flails around! Fans now reverse, Zelda’s fans chanting “TAP! TAP! TAP!” and Veran’s fans shouting, “NO! NO! NO!”

Veran kicks around, she breaks the body scissors, and she rolls back to a cover! TWO!!!! Zelda lets go in time to get free! Veran ripcords, BEE- NO, Zelda slides under and has a pump handle! MINUET OF FOREST! TWO!!! Veran escapes the cradle, KNEES Zelda low, then she runs Zelda to the corner to POST her! Maron reprimands while Veran backs away. Zelda slumps out of the corner and falls over. Veran runs corner to corner and goes up the corner for the BEETLE BOMB! Cover off the twisting Vader, TWO!! Veran is beside herself as Zelda survives! Veran drags Zelda up, reels her in, and tucks the arms! But Zelda fights the lift!

Zelda back drops free! But Veran sunset flips Zelda! TWO and Zelda sits on the cover! TWO and Veran sunset flips again! TWO and Zelda sits on the cover, TWO and Veran sunset flips again, but Zelda rolls through! PENALTY KICK! But Veran stays up with grit teeth! Veran roars and fans fire up, but Zelda fires off the strike fest! Kick, KICK, SOBAT, ENZIGURI! The Bolero of Fire hits! Veran staggers, Zelda HOOK SHOTS! A shoutout to Link! Zelda hops up to POISON-RANA!! SUPERKICK! Veran wobbles, Zelda grabs the wrists and reels Veran in, PRELUDE OF LIGHT! Bridging cover, but Zelda rolls through!! LIGHT ARROW!!!! Cover, ZELDA WINS!!

Winner: Zelda, by pinfall (still HPW Goddess Champion)

TWO! FULL! YEARS!! The Princess of Hyrule continues to reign! The legend of Zelda continues to grow, will she be champion then, now and forever?

 

HPW Triforce Championship: Kage VS Igos du Ikana!

Stolen from Link’s loving family, raised by a bitter Shin Yusha, turned into a living weapon, The Shadow’s darkness is hot. Inspired by Ikana River, the last conqueror of Termina Championship Wrestling but also the carrier of its legacy, the Ruler of Ruin’s darkness is cold. But this battle will be anything but lukewarm! Who will stand tall casting their shadow on all of Hyrule?

Igos is brought on a sinister palanquin, carried to the ring by Stalfos in dark blue armor. Igos himself wears silver and blue armor over new dark blue ring gear. The palanquin and the Stalfos exit, and then Kage makes his entrance. Kage is wearing an inverse of his usual gear! It’s stark white with black trim and logos, making the now darkened Triforce Championship belt stand out even more. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and the third Celebration of Greatness has a dark ending!

HyruleProWrestling TriforceChampionshipKAGEedition

The bell rings and the two circle. Fans rally up and the two approach. They have their dukes up, are they going to treat this as more a martial arts match than a wrestling match? Kage gives some testing jabs but Igos guards them. Igos avoids Kage’s kick, gives a kick back, but Kage fires off a flurry of fists! Igos manages to block and dodge but he ends up against ropes. Kage presses the offense but Igos gets away. Igos kicks Kage’s leg again, but Kage boots Igos away. Fans cheer this opening exchange as the two reset. Kage does a step but Igos doesn’t flinch. Igos kicks low but it’s a feint! He gets Kage up high! Fans fire up as Kage staggers!

Igos presses the offense with forearms! Igos backs Kage to ropes now, fires off more shots, but referee Tiger Sahasrahla counts. Igos lets off at 4, but then Kage rushes Igos to ROCK him with a forearm! Sahasrahla reprimands Kage but Kage keeps after Igos with body shots! Igos knees low! Igos CLUBS Kage on the back, then pushes him against ropes to shoulder low! Now Igos throws body shots and Sahasrahla counts again. Igos lets off at 4, then he BOOTS Kage out of the ring! Fans fire up and Igos watches Kage stagger back to his feet. Igos builds speed, but Kage hurries out of the way! But Igos springboards to backflip! Igos lands on his feet, then sits cross-legged!

Fans cheer while Kage seethes. Kage slides in and rushes up to Igos but walks right into a drop toehold! Igos rains down forearms but Kage kicks him away. Kage trips Igos and Kage rains down fists! Sahasrahla reprimands about the closed fists, so Kage stomps Igos instead! Kage drags Igos up and ROCKS him with a forearm! Igos ends up in a corner, Kage stomps a mudhole into him! Sahasrahla counts, Kage lets off at 4. Igos drags himself back up, Kage runs back in, but Igos sweeps the leg! Kage hits buckles face first! Now Igos stomps a mudhole into Kage! Sahasrahla reprimands and counts, and Igos lets off with one more stomp!

Igos soaks up the cheers and jeers from the crowd, but Kage drags himself up with the ropes. Igos eggs him on and Kage dusts off his chest. The two reset, and now it’s time for wrestling as the two tie up with a collar ‘n’ elbow. They go around, Igos gets a headlock, and he thrashes Kage in the hold. Kage powers up but he can’t power out as Igos holds tight. Igos brings Kage down to the mat, grinds the hold more, but Kage rolls to a cover. ONE, and Igos holds onto the headlock. Igos pushes back on the hold, shifts around, and he goes after an arm! Kage flails to resist the crossface! Kage crawls forward, reaches out, but Igos rolls him away from ropes!

Igos rains down some forearms again! Igos pushes Kage over and has the headlock again. Igos still wants the arm but Kage rolls and goes after Igos’ arm! Fans rally and duel as Kage has a FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Igos endures, moves around, reaches out, but Kage pulls back more! Igos kicks his way over, and his foot gets the ROPEBREAK! Fans are torn, Sahasrahla counts but Kage holds on until 4! Kage paces around in frustration while Igos rolls to the apron. Igos shakes out the arm, rolls back into the ring, and Kage rushes him again. Igos avoids the Master Sword and rolls Kage up! TWO, Kage ducks the Buzzsaw to roll Kage up, TWO!

Igos kicks Kage low, then fires off the IKANA RUSH! Kage staggers from the knee strike, Igos reels him in for the dragon sleeper! GRAVESTONE!! Fans fire up again as Kage flails and reaches out! Igos keeps Kage from the ropes, and he drops down for body scissors! Kage pries at the body scissors but Igos holds tight. Kage throws down elbows into Igos’ ribs and chest! Igos lets go of the dragon sleeper and sits Kage up to CLUB him in the back! Igos CLUBS Kage again and again, then rolls Kage into a body scissor clutch! TWO, but Kage is still stuck in the body scissors! Igos grabs at Kage for the dragon sleeper but Kage holds off the arm!

Fans duel as Kage bends the fingers! Kage hits an ELBOW BREAKER! Igos loses the body scissors and Kage drags Igos around, FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Igos scrambles around again, Kage drags Igos from ropes then steps over for a DISARMER! Igos endures more, rolls and turns Kage over, but now Kage just wrangles him down to a regular ARMBAR! Igos pushes up to stack Kage, TWO! Igos fights his way back up but Kage shifts to get a TRIANGLE HOLD! Only for Igos to deadlift him, for a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Both men are down and fans fire up again! Igos crawls to the ropes, again shaking out the bad arm.

Igos watches as Kage slowly rises. Igos kicks, kicks, SOBATS, ROUNDHOUSES, then he reels Kage in! Kage headlocks to fight the back suplex! Kage headlock punches Igos, Sahasrahla reprimands, but Kage CHOPS! Kage whips Igos to a corner, Igos reverses, but Kage goes up and over! MASTER SWORD! Fans fire up as Kage hoists Igos to the top rope. Kage CHOPS Igos, then climbs up after him. Fans rally and duel again as Igos resists the superplex! Igos throws body shots, then forearms! Kage wobbles but he holds onto the ropes. Kage pulls himself back up but Igos throws another forearm! Kage holds onto the ropes again to stay up!

Kage pulls up and rams his shoulder into Igos! Igos wobbles now, but Kage keeps him from falling off the corner. Kage brings Igos to the very top, for the SUPERPLEX! And then Kage rolls through for a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Kage scowls while fans are thunderous! “This is Awesome!” as Kage grabs Igos’ wrists, but Igos reels Kage in for a monkey flip! Igos holds onto the wrists, rolls back and stomps down one of Kage’s arms! Kage sits up and clutches that arm, and Igos grabs him for the dragon sleeper! Kage scrambles, rolls back to a cover, ONE! Kage is free, he runs in but Igos sidesteps. Kage comes back, into a JUMP KNEE!

Kage staggers back and Igos whips him to ropes, for a SPIN JUMP KNEE! Cover, TWO! Igos aims and Kage sits up, BUZZSAW! Igos pushes Kage to a cover, TWO! Fans fire up, and Igos loves over Kage. Igos lifts Kage up with his foot, and fans duel as they anticipate what’s coming! “YES! YES! YES!” “NO! NO! NO!” Igos stands Kage up for ELEGY OF- NO, Kage goes Matrix to avoid the heel kick! Then he ENZIGURIS! Igos staggers now, Kage full nelsons, but Igos fights it! Igos breaks the grip but Kage has the waistlock for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Kage holds on and he brings Igos back up, for another GERMAN SUPLEX!

Fans rally as Kage drags Igos up again. Igos reaches out for ropes, but Kage uses that to get the full nelson back! SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Kage roars, fans fire up, and Kage runs, but Igos ducks the Master Sword! Igos trips Kage and rolls back to a HALF SAND CRAB! Kage endures, claws forward, but Igos drags him back! Igos then drops down into a step-over toehold! Igos reaches out, he gets Kage in the STF!! Igos pulls back, Kage endures, and fans fire up again! Kage crawls, reaches out, but Igos shifts to a full CROSSFACE! Igos pulls way back on the hold! Fans rally even harder as Kage endures!

Kage kicks and manages to roll to a cover! TWO, and Igos still has the crossface! But Kage manages to fireman’s carry out of it! BOMBOS MEDALLION!! Another Link move!! Cover, TWO!!! Igos survives, and Kage gets him for a dragon sleeper! Kage steals THE GRAVESTONE!!! Fans are thunderous as Kage drops back and has the body scissors! Igos flails and kicks around but Kage’s got him caught! Igos still fights around, reaches out, but he’s fading! Fans rally and Sahasrahla checks on Igos. Igos gets a second wind and he fights free of the body scissors! Igos rolls back, pops free, and PENALTY KICKS! Kage sputters and fans fire up again!

Kage growls as he forces himself to get up off his knees. Kage roars at Igos, but gets an ELEGY OF EMPTINESS!! Fans are thunderous again as Kage staggers and falls out of the ring! Igos realizes that and is furious! Igos storms out after Kage as Kage flounders to the railing. Igos KICKS Kage against the railing! And again! And again, and again, and again, and again! Sahasrahla reprimands and counts and Igos finally stops! Seems there’s some fire inside Igos’ cold darkness after all! Igos drags Kage up and puts him in the ring. Igos drags Kage up, stands him up and stares him down. Igos spins, ELEGY- BLINDSIDE MASTER SWORD!!!

Fans are thunderous as Igos stumbles, and then Kage reels him in! SNAP DRAGON SUPLEX! Igos sits up in a daze, and Kage looks him dead in the eye, forehead to forehead! Kage gets both wrists! LIGHT ARROW!!! Fans are going nuts but Kage isn’t done there! Kage drags Igos up and onto his shoulders in the Electric Chair Lift! DARK CLOUD DRIVER!!! Cover, Kage wins!!

Winner: Kage, by pinfall (still HPW Triforce Champion)

Hot beats cold, and The Shadow keeps the gold! The Ruler of Ruin fought valiantly but he could not take the throne! The Ikana Royal Family hurries out ringside to help Igos walk up the ramp. When and where will he get another opportunity? As for Kage, Tiger Sahasrahla brings him the belt. Fans cheer as Kage stands tall with the title and the pyro goes off! Wait, the pyro stops? That doesn’t seem right. What’s going on with the lights? And then the lights go out!? The tron!!

HyruleProWrestlingFaction FacesofEvilGIF

F̧á̵c̵̡̛e ̀y͟òu҉͏r̷ ̵f̀o̸͝͡e. F̕͢a̵҉c̕ę ̸y҉o̸҉͜u͟r̶̡̕ ̷͠f͏̴o̷̷é̴͝.͘ ̷̀Fąc͘͠e͢͝ ͢y̨͏̶ò͝u̴͢͞ŕ̵ ͏f͟oé̶͝.̀͜͞
T͘͘͟͠Ḩ̢͘͟É̸҉̨Y̨’̢Ŕ̨̧͞͡È̵̡͞ ̀͟͏̶͠H̵̛͡É̢͢͡R̛͏Ę̵̶̕͡
FACE YOUR FOE

The lights are back up and holy crap who’s that in the ring!? Kage finds himself surrounded by a Bokoblin clown, a towering armored behemoth, a Wolfos with a crystal in their forehead, and just this blubbery green cyclops! Fans are freaking out, and then these four attack! Fans boo and the timekeeper rings the bell as Kage is overwhelmed! The Ikana Royal Family looks at this from the stage, fans tell them to do something, but they just let it happen! The clown holds Kage with a facelock, and is of course laughing as the Wolfos CLAWS Kage’s back! The clown then turns Kage around into a dragon sleeper, slashes his throat, and then hits a TWISTING NECKBREAKER!!

And then the big cyclops runs to hit a SPLASH!! Kage sputters from being literally squashed, but the armored behemoth facelocks for a deadlift suplex! That becomes a PILEDRIVER!!! The clown is still laughing, and the Wolfos picks up the Triforce Championship. He seems to be salivating looking at the title, but then he lays it down on top of Kage. The image on the tron transforms, “FOE” becoming “Faces Of Evil!” Will these new faces soon be the faces of HPW?

HyruleProWrestlingFaction FacesOfEvil


My Thoughts:

Getting this one in just before the deadline! I really hope I still got the best out of these matches that I could with such a busy December. I was also a little conflicted on some of the results. I figured if Torbevito wasn’t going to retain, I could’ve gotten away with another part of Arrow Club retaining, but then I felt that a complete change on those titles fit the stories better. But don’t worry, Arrow Club will figure themselves out with the Triforce Tournament just up ahead. For that matter, there will be the aftermath article coming out in a few days, so that’ll help sort out a lot of what happened here.

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 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

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THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/18/24)

Majora speaks.

Published

on

HPW Skull Kid News

Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!

HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…

 

The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.

The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!

“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?


My Thoughts:

Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

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Entertainment

Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]

Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?

Published

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Chairshot Radio Large

In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.

Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).

  • Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
  • The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
  • The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.

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Listen on your favorite platform!

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Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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