Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (1/29/23)
The Bracket of Power!

The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 37
And so it begins again! This is the FOURTH ANNUAL HPW Triforce Tournament, and we begin with the Bracket of Power! Who will be the first four through to the second round?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Bracket of Power: Skull Kid VS Aveil; Skull Kid wins and advances to the next round.
- Bracket of Power: Groose VS Glutko; Groose wins and advances to the next round.
- Bracket of Power: Iron Knuckle VS Militron; Militron wins and advances to the next round.
- Bracket of Power: Onox VS Darunia; Onox wins and advances to the next round.
PLAY BY PLAY
HPW and HXS TV set the scene!
Are you ready four this? Another year, another tournament, and another opportunity to be the best! But there are both faces old and new, and some of them EVIL! All four Faces of Evil are in this tournament, and two of them in the Bracket of Power! Will both the Armored Annihilator and the Gluttonous Goliath make it into the next round? Or will they be stopped before they can take over HPW? The HPW Triforce Tournament in Eldin Canyon starts now!
Skull Kid VS Aveil!
While the rest of the UnderWorld Order is exploring the Thyphlo Ruins, #SwoleKid is here to fight! But the same goes for the leading lady of the Gerudo Sisterhood as she strikes out on her own for a singles title! Will Aveil be well on her way? Or will Skull Kid continue his momentum from HyruleMania?
Skull Kid just keeps looking bigger every time he shows up. His ring gear is also now taking on pink and purple in its design to match the mask. He’s very fired up and the ref has to keep him back. The bell rings, and Skull Kid rushes in at Aveil! Aveil dodges, Skull Kid keeps pushing offense, and the two circle around the ring. They tie up, Skull Kid powers Aveil to a corner and the ref counts. Skull Kid holds until 4, but he doesn’t back up too far. The ref tells him to back off but Skull Kid doesn’t move. Aveil kicks Skull Kid but Skull Kid doesn’t budge! Aveil kicks again, then fires forearms, but Skull Kid is like a statue!
Aveil gets around and waistlocks! Skull Kid flails, throws elbows, and Aveil loses her grip. Skull Kid HEADBUTTS Aveil, she staggers away, and Skull Kid storms up, but into an arm-drag! Skull Kid stands back up, but runs into another arm-drag! Fans fire up as Aveil dropkicks Skull Kid, but he stays up! So Aveil dropkicks him again! Skull Kid staggers, yoyos in the ropes, and he LARIATS Aveil down! Fans boo as Skull Kid roars, but Aveil drop toeholds him! Skull Kid stays up, drags Aveil back up, right into a fireman’s carry! But Aveil fights to hit a crucifix takedown! Cover, TWO, and Aveil dropkicks Skull Kid again! This time he falls and fans fire up!
Aveil stomps Skull Kid to a corner and then stomps a mudhole in. The ref counts as she digs her boots in, and then Aveil hits a swinging dropkick! Aveil fires up and the fans stay fired up. Skull Kid stands up in the corner, Aveil runs in and back elbows! Aveil whips corner to corner but Skull Kid reverses. Aveil goes up and over, keeps moving, and she LEAPING LARIATS! Fans fire up even more and Aveil waits on Skull Kid to sit up. Aveil KICKS him in the chest! And KICKS! And KICKS, KICKS, KICKS! Aveil aims, but Skull Kid ducks the Buzzsaw! Skull Kid reels Aveil in, CLUBS her on the back, then POSTS her!
Fans boo but Skull Kid soaks up the heat by flipping them all off. Aveil crawls to the apron but Skull Kid storms up. Skull Kid drags Aveil up but Aveil GAMANGIRIS him back! Aveil slingshots for a sunset flip, TWO! Skull Kid scrambles to his feet and Aveil rushes in, but he blocks her takedown with a facelock! Skull Kid hooks an arm for a HALF HATCH SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Skull Kid looms over Aveil, then sits Aveil up to clamp on a neck wrench. Aveil endures and fans rally up, but Skull Kid tells them to shut up. Skull Kid puts on more pressure but Aveil still endures. Aveil fights up to her feet, throws body shots, but Skull Kid throws her down by her hair!
Fans boo and the ref reprimands, but Skull Kid just tells them all to kiss his butt. Fans boo more but Skull Kid drags Aveil up and CLUBS her on the back. Aveil snarls and staggers to ropes, but Skull Kid keeps on her. Skull Kid kicks her low, CLUBS her again, then puts her in the ropes. Skull Kid pulls her back against the ropes, the fans boo and the ref reprimands. The ref counts, Skull Kid CLUBS Aveil as he lets off. The ref reprimands again and the fans boo but Skull Kid just ignores them all. Skull Kid slides out and trips Aveil, then drags her out to the floor. Skull Kid RAMS her into the railing, then into the apron! And back to the railing!
Skull Kid pie faces Aveil and pushes her around. Aveil scowls as he keeps pushing her, and she turns around to ROCK him with a forearm! Fans fire up as Aveil fires off more shots! The ring count is 5 of 10, Aveil pushes Skull Kid into the ring then slides in. Aveil runs the ropes, to tilt-o-whirl DDT! Cover, TWO! Aveil goes to the corner and climbs up! MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO!! Skull Kid survives and both fans and Aveil are shocked! Aveil stomps Skull Kid, drags him to center and Aveil runs to the ropes to LYNEL-SAULT! But onto Skull Kid’s knees! Skull Kid brings Aveil into a cradle, TWO!! Aveil manages to escape!
Skull Kid argues the count with the ref but the ref insists that was a fair count! Skull Kid drags Aveil up, throws forearm after forearm, then an UPPERCUT! Skull Kid whips Aveil to a corner, Aveil goes up but Skull Kid catches her as she goes over! But now Aveil holds onto the ropes to keep Skull Kid from bringing her away! Skull Kid throws Aveil to the apron, but she slingshots to sunset flip! Cover, TWO and Skull Kid sits on the cover! And grabs ropes!! But the ref notices and he shouts at Skull Kid! Skull Kid shouts at the ref, “DO YOUR JOB!” The ref says, “Okay!” and kicks Skull Kid’s arms! Skull Kid loses his grip and Aveil sunset flips again, TWO!!!
Fans are going nuts and both Aveil and Skull Kid have to check with the ref! That was by nanoseconds, but that was a kick-out before three! Aveil is frustrated and she rushes Skull Kid! They go to ropes, she whips him away, and then runs up to SHOTGUN Skull Kid down! Aveil kips up, grabs Skull Kid’s legs and turns him for a SAND CRAB! Fans fire up as Skull Kid endures and Aveil sits deep! Fans chant “TAP! TAP! TAP!” but Skull Kid pushes up! Skull Kid crawls forward, reaches out, but Aveil drags him away from the ropes! But Skull Kid manages to roll through and BOOTS Aveil away! Aveil staggers up, into the TORPEDO MAJORA!!! Cover, Skull Kid wins!!
Winner: Skull Kid, by pinfall (advances to the next round)
Fans boo but there’s nothing they can do about this! Skull Kid celebrates by flipping everyone off, but here comes Groose! His match is next but he’s not waiting for Skull Kid to exit first! And we get our first look of his bald, shiny head! Skull Kid dares “Chrome Dome” to bring it, but then he slips away as Groose slides in the ring! Fans boo as Skull Kid keeps flipping Groose off. Will he regret riling up the Skyfall Stud?
Groose VS Glutko!
Speaking of HyruleMania, the Skyfall Stud lost to Skull Kid, and then lost his hair. But will he lose his nerve and lose in the opening round? Or will he literally win big by taking on the literally biggest competitor in the tournament?
The bell rings and Glutko looks to be salivating as he stares at Groose. Groose is put off by that as he and Glutko circle. They approach, tie up, and Groose pushes but Glutko stays put! Glutko then powers Groose back and into a corner. The ref counts and Glutko lets off at 4, to then rush Groose! Glutko BITES Groose’s head! Fans boo, the ref reprimands, but Glutko lets off at 4 again. The ref has Glutko back off, but Groose rushes in to RAM Glutko! Glutko stays up and he CLUBS Groose down! Glutko whips Groose corner to corner, then he runs in, but Groose dodges! Glutko hits nothing but buckles, and he staggers, clutching his gut.
Groose rushes in, throws hands, but Glutko shoves him away. Groose comes back, they tie up, and Glutko puts Groose in another corner. Groose avoids the clubbing forearm to fire off forearms. Groose wrenches an arm, YANKS it, and CLUBS away on it! Groose wrenches again, but Glutko reels him in for a LARIAT! Fans rally for Groose but Glutko CLUBS him down! And CLUBS him again! Glutko runs as Groose staggers up, and Glutko runs him over! Glutko waits for Groose to get up again, he runs in, but Groose hurdles Glutko! The Skyfall Stud gets some air! Groose then runs to RAM Glutko with a shoulder!
Fans fire up as as Glutko rebounds, into a scoop! Groose manages to lift Glutko and hold him up, to SLAM him down! Fans are thunderous as Groose covers, TWO!! And with authority! Glutko gets up to CLOBBER Groose! Glutko’s mad now, and he drags Groose up. Glutko puts Groose in a corner to CHOP him! Glutko CHOPS Groose again, CLUBS him down, then stands on him at the ropes! The ref counts, Glutko lets off, and the two argue. Fans boo as Glutko drags Groose back up, but Groose fires off haymakers! Groose whips Glutko to ropes but Glutko reverses, and then scoops him for a SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO!
Groose survives being squashed and fans fire up again! But Glutko HEADBUTTS Groose down, double knuckle lock covers, TWO! Groose staggers up but Glutko is on him with forearms. Glutko puts Groose in a corner to CHOP! Glutko BITES Groose’s forehead again! The ref counts, Glutko lets off and Groose staggers as he checks his forehead. Glutko SLAPS Groose’s bad head around, so Groose ROCKS him with a haymaker! Groose then JABS! And JABS! And JABS again! Fans chant “GROOSE!” with each shot! Groose reels back the hand, but Glutko WHEEL KICKS!? How’d he even get up that high?! Glutko grins as he covers, TWO!
Groose is dazed but the fans are behind him. Glutko puts Groose in a corner, and he point-blank SPLASHES! And then again! Glutko CHOPS Groose, stalks him as he goes to the other corner. Glutko ROCKS Groose, then whips him corner to corner. Glutko soaks up the heat and swivels his hips! Fans boo but Glutko runs in again, to SPLASH!! Groose sputters, Glutko grins, and Glutko makes Groose stand up again. Glutko pats Groose on the cheek, then runs corner to corner again! Glutko comes back, into a RIGHT HAND OF THE GODDESS!!! Groose hurries after Glutko as he staggers and stumbles, Glutko flops to the ropes!
Groose shakes out his hand and then drags Glutko to center. That’s a lot to drag, though… Groose turns Glutko over to cover, TWO!!! Fans are going nuts as Glutko survives! Groose drags Glutko back up, but has to shake out his right hand again. Groose still chicken wings Glutko, but Glutko resists being turned around. Glutko butt bumps Groose away! Glutko runs in, but Groose holds the ropes down! Glutko tumbles over and out of the ring! Fans fire up and Groose goes to the apron and takes aim as Glutko stands up. Groose CROSSBODIES Glutko down! Fans fire up more as Groose fires up! Groose drags Glutko up but that’s a lot to pick up.
Groose gets Glutko to the apron, but then Glutko RAMS Groose into railing! The front row ends up moving back a bit as the railing moves! Groose CLUBS away on Glutko’s back, but Glutko picks Groose up and turns around to RAM Groose into the post! The ref reprimands and tells them to get into the ring, and Glutko whips Groose into the steel steps! The steps break apart and fans boo as Glutko storms over. Glutko drags the base steps and puts them in the ring. Glutko then pushes Groose into the ring and moves the steps to the middle of the ring. The ref reprimands but Glutko tells him to back off as he drags Groose onto the steps!
Glutko gets up onto the steps and he stands over Groose! Fans boo and chant “NO! NO! NO!” while the ref reprimands. The ref tells Glutko to get down, but Glutko instead swivels his hips again. But Groose scrambles out from under Glutko! Glutko’s HIP DROP hits only steel steps! Glutko’s face says it all when it comes to the pain. Groose chicken wings Glutko and turns him! LOFTWING DRIVER!! Cover, Groose wins!!
Winner: Groose, by pinfall (advances to the next round)
Groose defeats his FOE! The Gluttonous Goliath could not stop the Skyfall Stud from rising back up! But now that we’re going to get a rematch from HyruleMania, will Groose redeem himself completely? Or will Skull Kid just make history repeat itself?
Backstage interview with Arrow Club.
Seres is with Torbevito, Bad Croc Scaly & The Young Ducks, and says they asked for this time. What do they want to say? Mack Quackson says, “Shouldn’t that be obvious? What do we not have with us? And it should be obvious.” Seres says, “Well, it’s obviously the different championships.” Rick shouts, “Yes! We don’t have our championships. We were upset after we lost, and then Fin told us to calm down, but then he lost! Do you know what that makes us?” Seres nervously says, “Former champions?” Rick shouts, “We’re not losers!!” Torbevito and Scaly both point out she didn’t say “losers,” and Rick calms down.
Mack says, “Yes, we are former champions. But we will get those HPW Trios titles back, just like Fin will win this whole Triforce Tournament!” Torbevito adds, “Yeah! And just like how I’m gonna get the Death Mountain Championship back!” The others start to go “Yeah,” but then stop themselves to go, “Um…” Torbevito asks them, “What? You don’t think I can beat Midna?” Rick says, “It’s not that you can’t. There’s always a chance. It’s just a small, small chance.” “Also,” Mack says, “she’s facing Zelda next. She might not even be Death Mountain Champion after that.” Torbevito says, “Then I’ll beat Zelda for the title!”
The rest of the Arrow Club look away and Seres even has to stop herself from laughing. Seres then says, “There are other trios who want after the titles, though.” “So?” the Quacksons say. Mack says, “Who even are these other trios? The Ikana Royal Family?” Scaly says, “We’ll break those bones!” Rick says, “The Doombringers?” Scaly says, “They’re the ones who’re doomed!” Mack says, “The Three Masters?” Scaly says, “More like the Three Disasters!” Rick says, “The UnderWorld Order?” Scaly says, “More like Underwear Odor!” Mack says, “The Poe Sisters?” Scaly says, “They’re just… Uh… More like… I’m trying not to get in trouble here, guys.”
“That’s fair,” Mack says. “But our point is, none of those teams are us. We are Arrow Club. We are going to hit our mark and get the trios titles off the Dames of the Dunes! Just you wait and see!” Rick lets out a “CACAW~!” and Arrow Club moves on. Will they keep their word and be back on top of the world?
Iron Knuckle VS Militron!
Anyone else notice a resemblance between these two? Big, burly and they wear a lot of armor. But only the strongest can make it through! Who will be crushed and recycled as the other moves on?
The bell rings and the fans rally for Iron Knuckle as he stares down Militron. They step to each other, and Militron is taller than Iron Knuckle by about half a head. Militron chuckles as he compares their heights, and then he pie faces Knuckle! Fans boo and Militron points at Knuckle. “Now…! You must die!” Knuckle gets mad and he swings on Militron! Militron tanks all the forearms and eggs Knuckle on! Knuckle keeps firing forearms, then spins, for a ROLLING ELBOW! Militron laughs, and he BOOTS Knuckle! Knuckle staggers back, rebounds, and he RAMS shoulders with Militron! Militron stays up and roars!
Knuckle JABS Militron! And JABS! And JABS again! Militron shakes those off, swings, but Knuckle bobs ‘n’ weaves to fire body shots. Knuckle backs Militron down with those shots, then he HEADBUTTS Militron. Militron wobbles, Knuckle whips him to ropes but Militron reverses. Militron swings on Knuckle but Knuckle shoots around to a waistlock. Knuckle lifts Militron and fans fire up, but Militron throws elbows! Knuckle lets Militron spin around, lifts again, but Militron CLUBS Knuckle on the back. Militron CLUBS away on Knuckle, then reels him into a facelock. Militron suplexes but Knuckle kicks and flails!
Militron keeps Knuckle up! Fans freak out as Militron double clutches to suplex Knuckle up and over! Militron roars while fans lose their minds! Militron drags Knuckle up and then picks him up for a BEARHUG! Knuckle endures as Militron thrashes him around! Fans rally as Knuckle drives in elbows into Militron’s head! Militron lets Knuckle go and drops to a knee, and Knuckle fires off fast hands! Fans fire up and Knuckle has Militron down for some ground ‘n’ pound! Militron pushes Knuckle away, scrambles to a corner, but Knuckle runs in! Militron dodges and Knuckle hits buckles! Militron runs back in, but Knuckle catches him for an URENAGE!
Both men are down and fans fire up! They both roll and flop out of the ring on opposite sides of the corner. Knuckle crawls to the railings and drags himself back up to his feet. Militron is at the ramp, and he sees where Knuckle is. But instead of heading for Knuckle, Militron goes around the other way? He builds speed as he goes around the ring! Knuckle stands up, only for Militron to CLOBBER him! Militron roars again while fans go nuts again! Militron shouts at Knuckle to get up, and Knuckle flounders his way to the steel steps. Militron stalks Knuckle, then stands him up to SMACK off the steel steps!
The ref reprimands Militron but he pushes Knuckle into the ring. Militron stalks Knuckle, then drops a BIG elbow on his back! Militron then waistlocks for a rear bearhug! Fans rally and Knuckle endures as Militron leans on the hold. Knuckle fights up, but Militron lifts and SLAMS Knuckle back down! Militron puts on the squeeze but Knuckle continues to endure. Fans continue to rally and chant, “Knuckle! Knuckle!” Knuckle fights up again, Militron lifts him again but Knuckle throws elbows. Knuckle elbows free, runs and RAMS Militron, but Militron rebounds, only for Knuckle to dodge and run Militron over! Fans fire up, and Knuckle drops a SENTON! Cover, TWO!
Fans continue to rally behind Knuckle and he stalks Militron. Militron sits up, and Knuckle clamps on for a REBONACK CLUTCH! Fans fire up, Knuckle squeezes tight and drags Militron down! Militron flails, avoids the body scissors, and his foot gets the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts and fans boo but Knuckle lets go at 4. Militron sputters as he bails out of the ring and fans boo more. But Knuckle builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit and Militron hits railing! Fans are losing their minds again as Knuckle puts Militron back in the ring. Militron staggers up, Knuckle wraps on the REBONACK CLUTCH!!
Militron flails and fans chant “TAP! TAP! TAP!” Militron runs back and RAMS Knuckle into buckles! Knuckle holds on, but Militron runs for a BACKPACK SENTON! Militron is free, Knuckle is down, and fans fire up! Militron and Knuckle slowly rise, fans rally up, and Militron ROCKS Knuckle! Knuckle ROCKS Militron back! Militron ROCKS Knuckle, Knuckle ROCKS Militron! They go back and forth, fans fire up, and then Militron gets the edge! Militron spins, but Knuckle HEADBUTTS Militron first! Militron wobbles, drops to a knee, but then he gets up and under Knuckle for a SPINEBUSTER!!
Militron roars and fans are torn, and Militron drags Knuckle back up. Militron manages to suplex Knuckle! And shifts it into the PILEDRIVER!! The same move he hit on Kage at HyruleMania!! Cover, Militron wins!!
Winner: Militron, by pinfall (advances to the next round)
Where the first Face of Evil failed, this FOE has succeeded! He crushes Iron Knuckle and is moving on to the Bracket of Power semifinals! Will he be the one to take the bracket and go on to the Triforce Anniversary?
Onox VS Darunia!
Two more powerful behemoths return to action in HPW! The General of Darkness collides with the Sage of Fire, but who stays standing to then meet Militron in the second round?
The bell rings and fans fire up for another match of big behemoths. They step forward, stare down some more, then step forward again. Onox throws the first forearm! Darunia stays up and he throws a forearm back! Onox throws another, and fans fire up as Darunia throws another! Fans rally up as Onox throws a heavier shot, and then Darunia throws another! Onox eggs Darunia on, throws another forearm, and Darunia wobbles! Darunia kicks a leg out, CLUBS Onox then runs, but Onox BODY CHECKS him out of the ring! Fans fire up as Onox then pursues, FLYING SHOULDER off the apron! Darunia is sent into railing while fans fire up!
Onox stalks Darunia along the railing, CLUBS him on the back, and then follows him around the way. Darunia ELBOWS Onox back, then SMACKS him off the apron! Darunia whips but Onox reverses, and it’s Darunia who hits railing hard! Fans fire up as Darunia slumps down. Onox storms over, and he drags Darunia back up. Onox aims and whips Darunia, and Darunia hits more railing! But Darunia comes back to GORON UPPERCUT Onox down! Fans fire up again as both men are down on the outside! The ring count is climbing, Darunia staggers up at 7, and he rolls into the ring. But then he rolls right back out to refresh the count!
Darunia stomps Onox, drags him back up, and smacks him off the apron again. Darunia pushes Onox into the ring, fans applaud and Darunia stomps Onox more. Onox goes to a corner, Darunia stomps a mudhole into him, but the ref counts. Darunia lets off before 4, to then run corner to corner! But Onox slips out and the CANNONBALL hits buckles! Darunia writhes and Onox climbs the corner!? Fans fire up, but Darunia rolls away from the drop zone. Onox climbs down and he storms up on Darunia. Onox stomps Darunia, drags him up, and RAMS him into the corner! And again, and again! Onox digs his shoulder in but the ref counts.
Onox lets off, then he whips Darunia corner to corner, only for Darunia to reverse it! Darunia runs in to GoroUpper Onox in the corner! Darunia whips Onox corner to corner, runs in and hits another GoroUpper! Darunia whips Onox corner to corner again, but Onox rebounds to LARIAT Darunia down! Fans fire up again and Onox beats his chest. Onox drags Darunia up in a facelock, but Darunia blocks the suplex. Onox CLUBS Darunia on the back, CLUBS him again, then tries again. Darunia kicks and flails to fight the suplex! Darunia throws body shots, wrenches free and reels Onox into a DDT! Cover, TWO!
Darunia is annoyed but the fans continue to rally. The fans duel, “O~NOX!” “DA-RU-NI-A!” clap clap, clap-clap-clap. Darunia clamps onto Onox with a chinlock and leans on the hold. Fans rally up and Onox endures, but Darunia thrashes him around. Onox fights up, he throws elbows and body shots, but Darunia knees low. Darunia clamps on for a neck wrench now, but Onox throws elbows and body shots again. Onox reels Darunia in for a short arm LARIAT! Onox holds onto the arm, and he drags Darunia up again for another short arm LARIAT! Onox eggs Darunia on, drags Darunia back up, but Darunia ducks the lariat!
Darunia has the arm now, he ripcords Onox and reels him in for a POWERSLAM!! Fans are going nuts as Darunia fires up! Darunia drags Onox up, whips him to ropes, and then fireman’s carries for a GORON DROP! Cover, TWO!! Onox survives and fans fire up while Darunia grows frustrated. Darunia brings Onox back up, fireman’s carries again, and he carries Onox to a corner! Darunia climbs the corner, and fans anticipate what he’s up to! But Onox fights back with elbows! Onox manages to stand safe on the ropes, and he gets around Darunia to then waistlock. Darunia holds onto the ropes to resist the Super German Suplex!
Onox CLUBS Darunia, but Darunia throws elbows. Onox CLUBS Darunia again, waistlocks, but Darunia BACK HEADBUTTS him! Onox falls down, into the drop zone! Darunia turns around, fans fire up, and Darunia hits the SUNSET SENTON! Cover, TWO! Darunia roars and storms around while fans fire up again! Onox drags himself up in the corner, Darunia runs in corner to corner to clothesline! And then he goes corner to corner again, for another clothesline! Fans fire up to see Darunia bring back the Forever Lines! Darunia goes corner to corner to clothesline again, and then again! And then- ONOX SPEARS DARUNIA!
Fans are thunderous while both men are down. The ref starts a standing count, Onox sits up at 4 of 10, Darunia follows at 5. Onox crawls over to Darunia and throws a forearm! Darunia throws a forearm back! Onox throws another, and then Darunia throws another, and the fans rally up as the shots keep going! Onox and Darunia stand as they continue to go forearm for forearm. Darunia gets the edge and ROCKS Onox! Darunia pushes Onox to ropes and whips, but Onox holds ropes to stop himself. Darunia runs in but Onox ELBOWS Darunia away. Onox rushes up and gets under for a SPINEBUSTER!
Fans fire up and Onox brings Darunia up with a facelock. Onox suplexes Darunia up for the GORGON’S STARE! Onox then drags Darunia back up in double underhooks! Onox lifts Darunia, for the ONYX CASTLE! Cover, Onox wins!
Winner: Onox, by pinfall (advances to the next round)
The General has conquered the Sage and has his first win in HPW! Onox moves on to the second round, but will he crush or be crushed in his match with Militron?
My Thoughts:
This was a really tricky bracket to book. Not so much in who should go over, but in the match order for the best possible flow. Skull Kid and Groose is the match-up with story, but in universe, Onox and Darunia are big deals. This was going to end with a Face win either way, but I just wasn’t sure which one. Onox VS Darunia ended up being the longer match so something about that just feels more like a main event to me.
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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!
While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!
Thundra Plateau is ready.
Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.
Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…
The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.
Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.
Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.
Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.
Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.
The Dark Forces are watching.
They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.
Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”
Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?
Somewhere dark and spooky…
Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!
The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?
Back to the Dark Forces…
Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.
And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!
The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #287: Filling A Void
The Nerds review Thunderbolts*, check out the latest trailers, and celebrate Star Wars Day as only they can!

The Bandwagon is stripped down this week as Dave and PC Tunney helm the ship for a big week in the Nerdosphere. Naturally, we are covering Thunderbolts as Dave, Tunney (and the rest of the Bandwagon, for that matter) all saw the latest entry into the MCU. What was the consensus, and did the longest post-credit scene in MCU history push the Universe in the right direction? In other MCU News, we discovered why Hawkeye had no second season. From there, the guys head into the Trailer Park to look at the latest, including a sizzle reel for Netflix’s TUDUM event, Dwayne “The Rock ” Johnson’s latest movie, The Smashing Machine, and a very creepy look at Weapons. GTA 6 got delayed, again….but could that be a blessing in disguise? But this Episode was recorded on Star Wars Day, and to commemorate the event, Dave tries his best to convince Tunney to watch Andor, while Tunney tells Dave what he likes most about one of the most successful franchises of all time. All that, plus Dave tells you why The Last of Us is the best show anywhere on TV. Dave & Tunney cover a lot of ground in an action-packed episode of BWN, so make sure you tune in!
- @AttitudeAgg
- @WrestlngRealist
- @itsReyCash
- @PCTunney
- @itsmedpp
- @ViolentAesop
- @TheMindlessPod
- @therealcplatt
- @ChairshotMedia
- @BandwagonNerds
PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!
About Bandwagon Nerds
Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY – Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY – 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY – The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY – POD is WAR
FRIDAY – DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY – The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY – Keeping the news ridiculous… The Oddity / The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE’s PPV/PLE history)
http://TheChairshot.com PRESENTS…IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O’Dowd’s 5X5
Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts… Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Listen on your favorite platform!
iTunes | iHeart Radio | Google Play | Spotify
Listen, like, subscribe, and share!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!