Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (6/17/23)
Spectacular Spectacle Fallout!

What a sight to behold!
HPW has made it through a Second Spectacular Spectacle, and we’re on the road to Termina Velocity! What will everyone have to say about the night?
After the Wait & See Battle Royal.
The Good, The Bad & The Studly walk in.
Ladrona and Tingle are chanting “GROOSE! GROOSE!” for the Skyfall Stud as he secured the win for them. But then some others are applauding more sarcastically. It’s the UnderWorld Order! Death Sword says, “Congrats on the win. Now you get to travel to Termina, just so you can lose to us.” The UWO chuckles, and Gomess adds, “We won inside Blood & Thunder. There’s no way we lose to a baldie, a thief, and man-child in pajamas.” Groose says, “Oh, is that so?” He steps up but so does Scaldera. Hollywood ReDead has Scaldera back down and stares Groose down. “You already lost your hair, big man. Don’t go losing your head now.”
“In fact,” Ted Beedle Ossi says, “why lose any time and money? You three don’t even need to go to Termina.” Beedle brings out a checkbook. He offers to pay them what they’d get with the “loser’s purse,” so that they can just stay home and not have to pay for travel. Beedle starts writing but Ladrona stops him. Beedle is the Million Rupee Man, right? So there’s no way she’ll accept a paycheck for just a thousand. Alright, fine, Beedle will pay them double the loser’s purse. Really? Ladrona is still not satisfied. What, she wants triple? She does realize that Beedle would then be paying out over nine thousand Rupees, right?
Ladrona again says he’s the Million Rupee Man. What’s nine thousand to someone who easily makes nine hundred thousand? Beedle gets upset and says fine, here! He writes a check for 10 THOUSAND Rupees and shoves it into Ladrona’s hand. “Pleasure doing business with you,” she says with a smirk. The UWO storms off, and Tingle asks Ladrona why she just sold out like that. Ladrona laughs. “Oh my sweet, innocent Tingle. I just scammed them! Now we have the title match and the money! Let’s get going before Beedle changes his mind.” The UWO looked down on the Thief Girl, and now they’re literally paying for it. Will The Good, The Bad & The Studly soon have everything they ever wanted?
After the HPW Goddess Championship match.
Aveil walks in.
The Gerudo Sisterhood is there waiting for her, and they all give her a hug in turn. Aveil says it’s alright, because now she is passing the baton on. One of the other three can go for the Goddess title now, they just have to decide who. Shabonne of course says Tali, but Buliara of course says Riju. There’s an awkward moment, but the group brushes it off. They’ve got time to figure it out, right? Well, Termina Velocity is July 4th, so that’s not really that much time. Will the Dames of the Dunes peacefully decide who is challenging Midna?
After the HPW Death Mountain Championship match.
The Faces of Evil walk in.
Lupay is quite literally howling mad. He asks, “HAWOOOO~ did that happen!? How did she get past all of us?” Harlequin says it is alright, because now any one of them, as he points to himself, Militron and Glutko, can go after her next. Is he parodying Aveil’s line from earlier? But Militron says Harlequin is right. “The Twilight Princess survived the double header once, but she can’t survive forever. She’ll face FOE after FOE, and she will fall!” Glutko adds, “And it will be delicious~!” Then who will be the next Face of Evil to face Midna?
Midna walks in.
The Twilight Princess holds up both belts triumphantly with a big smile on her face. “The first ever Twilight Princess Double Header is a success, because I successfully defended both titles! And I’ll gladly do it again, and again, and again, if HPW wants me to. I’m more than happy to prove that Midna is anything but mid!” The #TwoBeltPrincess is ready for more, will she make it through the Summer with both titles?
After the HPW Triforce Championship #1 Contender’s Fatal 4 Way.
Zelda and Link walk in together.
The two of them are quiet because they aren’t sure what to say to each other. “Look,” Zelda says, “don’t worry about it. You have nothing to apologize for. Though, neither do I. We both fought hard out there. We fought as hard as we could out there. But it was a Fatal 4 Way, winning those are incredibly hard. And we’re not out of the running. We just have to wait and see if Majora beats your bro- er, Kage… Or if Kage retains the title. Until then, no hard feelings.” Link finishes sipping water from a bottle, and he shakes hands with Zelda. Will the Princess and Hero of Hyrule be just fine? Or will ambition tear them apart?
Fin staggers in.
The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla is furious, and also clutching an icepack to his head from taking the Torpedo Majora. “What in the blue hell!? What are we supposed to do against a monster like that? A literal monster! But y’know what? Fine! Face Kage in Termina. Either you get yer arse kicked, or you’re the new champ and I get to kick yer arse myself! You are not going to deny me my prize! Arrow Club is aiming for the top, and we will hit the mark!” Fin storms off, but who will he be aiming for after Termina Velocity?
Majora… doesn’t walk in?
No one is sure what’s going on, but HPW Media cuts to another camera and sees him ranting and raving at the fans while he goes around the ramp and stage, and therefore going around gorilla position. He finds his way to the parking lot, where the UWO is going to their limousine. They see him walk up, and ReDead stares down with Majora. They shake hands, and they all get into the limo together. It seems Majora is still UWO, so will he be bringing even more gold to the group in the near future?
My Thoughts:
Another fun promo article here, though I think the most compelling was UWO bribing Groose, Ladrona & Tingle out of being their challengers. I was conflicted on whether to go with that, and I had a pretty good alternate promo written for that here, but I feel like the swerve is better story. As for Midna and her two midcard titles, the only part that’s tricky is scheduling things. Should Termina Velocity have contenders matches or go right to title matches? I’m leaning towards the former, but even then, I have to figure out who is going to be in those matches.
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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
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SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!
While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!
Thundra Plateau is ready.
Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.
Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…
The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.
Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.
Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.
Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.
Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.
The Dark Forces are watching.
They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.
Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”
Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?
Somewhere dark and spooky…
Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!
The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?
Back to the Dark Forces…
Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.
And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!
The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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Bandwagon Nerds
Bandwagon Nerds #287: Filling A Void
The Nerds review Thunderbolts*, check out the latest trailers, and celebrate Star Wars Day as only they can!

The Bandwagon is stripped down this week as Dave and PC Tunney helm the ship for a big week in the Nerdosphere. Naturally, we are covering Thunderbolts as Dave, Tunney (and the rest of the Bandwagon, for that matter) all saw the latest entry into the MCU. What was the consensus, and did the longest post-credit scene in MCU history push the Universe in the right direction? In other MCU News, we discovered why Hawkeye had no second season. From there, the guys head into the Trailer Park to look at the latest, including a sizzle reel for Netflix’s TUDUM event, Dwayne “The Rock ” Johnson’s latest movie, The Smashing Machine, and a very creepy look at Weapons. GTA 6 got delayed, again….but could that be a blessing in disguise? But this Episode was recorded on Star Wars Day, and to commemorate the event, Dave tries his best to convince Tunney to watch Andor, while Tunney tells Dave what he likes most about one of the most successful franchises of all time. All that, plus Dave tells you why The Last of Us is the best show anywhere on TV. Dave & Tunney cover a lot of ground in an action-packed episode of BWN, so make sure you tune in!
- @AttitudeAgg
- @WrestlngRealist
- @itsReyCash
- @PCTunney
- @itsmedpp
- @ViolentAesop
- @TheMindlessPod
- @therealcplatt
- @ChairshotMedia
- @BandwagonNerds
PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!
About Bandwagon Nerds
Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY – Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY – 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY – The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY – POD is WAR
FRIDAY – DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY – The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY – Keeping the news ridiculous… The Oddity / The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE’s PPV/PLE history)
http://TheChairshot.com PRESENTS…IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O’Dowd’s 5X5
Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts… Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!