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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (8/9/23)

Fallout from Treasure Island!

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HPW News 2023

HPW turns the corner from Eventide to the Stampede!

After an epic battle with Zelda, Kage is still HPW Triforce Champion! But before his Clash of Fates with Aveil, we meet this year’s Dark Horses!

 

After the Eventide Challenge.

The Gerudo Sisterhood celebrates backstage.

Tali, Shabonne, Riju & Buliara chant “SA’OTEN! SA’OTEN!” as Aveil walks in, triumphantly holding up the ball that represents her becoming Ms. Eventide! Aveil herself joins in with a powerful “SA’OTEEEEEN~!” The sisterhood cheers, and Aveil says “Sarqso, sarqso. Thank you, thank you. I must give some respect and even some gratitude to Rod Wyler. I don’t know about ‘greatest Wosu-ler,’ but he is a very good wrestler. If that were a normal match, he might’ve had me a few times. But in the end, I AM Miss Eventide! The second vai <woman> to win it, and I’m headed for the Triforce Championship! Whoever wins that main event, know that I’m coming for ya!”

The Gerudo Sisterhood cheers again and heads out together, will the Desert Flower be ready for what she’s facing in a couple months?

 

After the Million Rupee Championship match.

The UnderWorld Order regroups backstage.

Hollywood ReDead pats the brand new Million Rupee Championship on his shoulder as Ted Beedle Ossi, Gomess, Death Sword, Scaldera and even the Poe Sisters applaud. They were all ejected from ringside but even then, ReDead cheated a way to win. Not that he’ll admit to that. ReDead says “Whether or not Donny be cool, he isn’t better than me! The UWO is forever! And forever, the UWO will reign!” The group cheers and they all hold up their belts. The Million Rupee Champion and the Trios Champions turn to go, but then Nicholas Foolyere is there! He “congratulates” the UWO on their wins tonight.

However, he couldn’t help but notice all the ways they found to skirt the rules. “Oh get off it,” Beedle says. Like Foolyere never bent rules while he was wrestling! Foolyere says no, he just got into matches where there were no rules and did whatever the hell he wanted. So maybe that’s what should happen for the UWO! What’s Foolyere getting at? Foolyere says the UWO will face Los Taros Locos again at Clash of Fates! And in a way Foolyere himself made famous: a HARDCORE MATCH! No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere inside the Coliseum! The UWO is furious, but Foolyere says this is just the start! ReDead has to give Donny another match, too!

ReDead shouts “What?!” Foolyere says he has to, or else the Million Rupee Championship won’t be officially recognized under HPW. That means no champion’s paycheck! ReDead and Beedle are both flustered. Beedle says fine, they will agree to that. But under one condition! If they’re bringing the Hardcore stipulation “out of storage,” Beedle wants to bring back… the HWF’s WRESTLING ROULETTE! A bunch of different stipulations on a roulette wheel, the one the wheel lands on is the one ReDead and Donny compete under. Foolyere thinks about it, and says it’s a deal. They shake on it, and Foolyere leaves. Will the UWO survive when the stakes are raised?

 

After the Twilight Princess Double Header.

Iron Knuckle storms in.

He is furiously shouting for Nicholas Foolyere! But Foolyere does not appear so Iron Knuckle storms off, raging down a hallway. What will Knuckle want after falling short of the Death Mountain title?

The Gerudo Sisterhood are again backstage.

Riju walks in, not nearly as jubilant as Aveil given Riju lost to Midna. The others encourage her that she was so close, and Riju thanks them, but she still feels so down. Shabonne says that’s just her banged up arm bothering her. She says Riju can find a way back to a title, as will Buliara and Tali. Because after the Dark Horse Stampede is the Clash of Fates! One of them could win that, and if Aveil wins the title off Kage, then it’ll be a Gerudo VS Gerudo main event at HyruleMania! “That’s history right there, baby!” The goal is set and the sisterhood is motivated, will they take over the top of HPW?

Midna walks in, a title on each shoulder.

The Twilight Princess smiles as she survived another Double Header. Midna reaches out for a bottle of water, but she also doesn’t want the Goddess Championship to slip off her shoulder. A staffer picks up a bottle for Midna and Midna thanks her. Midna twists the bottle cap off, chugs water, and lets out a satisfied sigh now that she’s refreshed. “That was wild, wasn’t it? Veran showing up to challenge me for both of these belts? Though, I don’t blame her. Two prizes with just one opponent? You’d have to be a NEET or something to not jump on that chance.”

Midna takes another sip, then says that she hopes HPW Management knows which option is the better option for Midna VS Veran. Once they figure it out, just let her know. “Until then, make sure to like, comment and subscribe so you- Oh, sorry. Habit from all my streaming! Bye~!” Midna waves with her free hand and saunters away. What will HPW decide?

 

After the HPW Termina Championship match.

Shale Dug-In walks in.

The Foundation sighs, and then says, “Ganon hits hard as hell. He definitely proved himself worthy of the title.” Sharky Shipwreck then walks over and says hey to his fellow TCW alumni with a handshake and bro hug. Sharky says that was a great match out there, and Shale thanks him. Shale then says, “Y’know what? Remember what you said about being a nostalgia act? I like that. If you’re sticking around, I might stick around, too.” Sharky says, “Yeah? Well sweet, let’s go then!” Shale and Sharky are smiling even in defeat, will the spirit of TCW continue to live on?

Ganon walks in, title around his waist.

The Gerudo Ace smiles and nods, and says, “Shale hits hard as hell. It was an honor to defend the title he made real against him.” Ganon hopes to do the legacy of TCW proud. He beat Fin Balure to get the title just over eight months ago, defended against Onox, and now Shale. Ganon wants more. No, he needs more. Ganon knows champions are automatically exempt from the Clash of Fates, so he’s throwing it out there. An OPEN CHALLENGE for the Termina Championship! Ganon doesn’t care who shows up to the Coliseum, they just better be ready for a fight. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a party to start.” Ganon heads off, who will step to his throne in October?

 

After the HPW Triforce Championship match.

Zelda walks in, rather distraught.

The Princess of Hyrule is sore and hobbling, but the real pain on her face seems to go with the tears forming. Link and Groose are there to help her take a seat. Link kneels by her side while she is given ice packs. Zelda looks to Link and a tear falls from her face. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry…” Link shakes his head and Zelda says she tried her hardest, she really did. “I just can’t believe… how strong he is…” Groose agrees. No one’s ever kicked out of a Light Arrow, right? If Kage can do that, does Aveil even stand a chance? Link also looks rather concerned about that. What will be the answer to stopping the Hero’s Shadow?

Kage doesn’t walk backstage?

The HPW Triforce Champion keeps watching the fans as they boo, give thumbs down, maybe even flip him off or just storm out. The Dark Forces walk out from the crowd side and celebrate with him. But then he just scoffs at them and gets out of the ring? Cia and the others are confused. She shouts after him but he continues up the ramp. Cia pursues, the others follow her, but Kage tells them to leave him alone. Cia asks, “Why? You won!” Kage says yes, he won. He hasn’t needed The Dark Forces for anything he’s won. In fact, he’s the only one who has been winning anything this entire time. Well, anything that matters.

Kage turns and walks away again, leaving the Dark Forces speechless. The Hero’s Shadow walks alone, but will he come to regret this?


My Thoughts:

I almost didn’t do this one, as I did only a partial aftermath article for Termina Velocity. But once I got thinking about what was next, I couldn’t help but want to do promos for (almost) everyone on the Treasure Island card. I’ve been sitting on the plans for the UWO for quite a while here, namely Wrestling Roulette being Raw Roulette/Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal. Ganon’s Open Challenge and Kage breaking away from The Dark Forces were spur of the moment decisions writing this, but they both feel right, especially Kage’s story beat. It was perhaps oversight on my part that feuds with the Dark Forces didn’t include Kage and vice-versa, but Kage as a character has always felt like a loner who has been waiting to break away, so here it is.

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/18/24)

Majora speaks.

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HPW Skull Kid News

Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!

HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…

 

The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.

The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!

“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?


My Thoughts:

Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


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Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]

Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?

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Chairshot Radio Large

In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.

Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).

  • Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
  • The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
  • The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams

About the Chairshot Radio Network

Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.

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Listen on your favorite platform!

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Listen, like, subscribe, and share!


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About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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