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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (8/23/24)

It’s the ebb and flow of life…

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Fallout from Treasure Island!

The storm has passed, the dust has settled, and HPW has made it through Treasure Island 5! Hear from this year’s winners and losers!

 

After the Eventide Challenge Ladder Match.

First, Aveil is being dragging in by Tali!

Well, this was during the ladder match! The Dame of the Dunes betrayed the Desert Flower, has brutalized her, and is now doing so backstage! The Gerudo Sisterhood rushes in as Tali scoops Aveil! She ignores their shouting to POWERSLAM Aveil through a table!! Tali stands up out of the mess of wood and water bottles, and while Riju is in shock, Buliara shoves Tali! Buliara asks Tali in Gerudo, uh, well, it isn’t nice, but the gist is, “What are you doing!?” Tali shouts back that this “sisterhood” is a sham! Aveil has just been using the others to get ahead! And the sooner they see that, the better!

Tali storms off, leaving Buliara and Riju speechless. All of this, from jealousy? What is going to happen to the Sisterhood now?

Next, Ghirahim enters.

The Living Blade is throwing a fit, complaining about Midna getting in the way of his success once again. Then he sees the busted up table and the fallen water bottles. “And what the hell happened here?!” He looks around in confusion then moves on.

Next, Midna enters.

She needs help from HPW staff after being clobbered by Yunobo. Icepack after icepack is applied and she hobbles on from here. Will the Twilight Princess be gone again? Or will she bounce back from getting pounced out of the ring?

Lastly, Yunobo enters.

Arrow Club is there to welcome Mr. Eventide with applause. Torbevito grabs one of the bottles off the ground, dusts it off, and then hands it to Yunobo, who speed chugs it in one go! The others aren’t sure what to make of that but it was rather impressive. Then Yunobo looks into the camera to say, “Who’s winning in tonight’s main event? Limp Link? Cruddy Kage? It doesn’t MATTER who it is that wins! No one is going to keep that title from me!” Fin Balure says, “That’s right! Yuno-Bro is gonna decimate whoever comes outta that sad family drama show, and then Arrow Club will rule over HPW!” Yunobo adds an, “OOOOH YEEEAH~!” and the club heads out.

 

After the Million Rupee Championship match.

The uWo watches backstage.

Hollywood ReDead is upset Kevin Gibdo just won, and he flips this new table, dumping the water bottles back on the ground. He sends Gomess out there, and we see him watch Gomess take Kevin down. ReDead feels a bit better now, and he looks to camera. “One way or another, the UnderWorld Order puts that idiot in the ground! Then we take MY title back!” Will the wrestling reaper be just the man to massacre the mummy?

Kevin Gibdo is helped to the back.

The Dark Forces’ Volga and Wizzro help Kevin, Wizzro holding the belt for him. Kevin glares from behind the bandages wrapped around his head, clearly in a foul mood after what the uWo just pulled. But Ganon is there to applaud. “Well done, big man. Sorry the boys didn’t get out there to stop that goon.” Wizzro wants to say something but Ganon continues by saying it’s time to prepare for his match. “Unless one of you guys wanna challenge me. Nah, I’m just kidding! Seriously, don’t go out there. You guys need to be watching the trios championship match, taking notes, preparing for a title opportunity. Get it? Got it? Good.”

Ganon leaves, and Volga & Wizzro still help Kevin along. Will The Dark Forces be primed for even more golden opportunities?

 

After the HPW Death Mountain Championship match.

Zelda returns backstage.

The Princess of Hyrule is upset, and she grabs a bottle off this third table. She takes a few sips, then puts the bottle against her head. She takes a breath, and then says, “Fair play, Thunderbird. Or Teba. I suppose I really shouldn’t be one to judge you. But just so you know, we’re not done. One day, I’ll come for the tiebreaker. But for now, there’s something bigger to go after.” Zelda leaves, what could she be talking about?

Thunderbird returns backstage.

The now TWO-TIME HPW Death Mountain Champion steps in, belt around his waist and the mask Zelda pulled off his face in his hand. HPW Media asks if Thunderbird really is Teba. Thunderbird/Teba sighs and says, “Yes, it’s been me all along. But what did that change? Nothing, really. I still had to fight to get where I am, and I most certainly had to fight to earn this championship. I appreciate that Princess Zelda understands. And if she wants the rematch, I’ll be waiting.” The Rito luchador heads out, who will challenge him while Zelda goes for higher heights?

 

After the HPW Goddess Championship.

Ladrona enters first.

She just finished wishing Groose, Tingle & Skull Kid luck, but she’s still down about her loss. And she of course has to move aside as The Arrow Club’s Fin Balure & Young Ducks make their own entrance. Ruto then enters after that, and she has a smug smile on her face as she sees Ladrona there. Ruto says Ladrona did well to push her that far. Ladrona admits that Ruto’s still got it. Ruto asks if Ladrona’s going to stay here to watch the next match, and Ladrona says of course. Does that mean Ruto’s going to watch? Ruto shrugs and says she doesn’t see why not.

The two find some chairs to take seats in, and we fast forward through them watching the match. And at the moment Torbevito first shows up, Ladrona is of course angry! Ladrona glares at Ruto while getting out of her chair, but Ruto SMACKS Ladrona right on the face! Ruto RAMS Ladrona into the table, knocking the water bottles onto the ground all over again! These two brawl, security rushes in, and this fight spills out into the hall! The cameraman does his best to follow, and Ruto ROCKS Ladrona. Ladrona staggers and stumbles towards road cases, Ruto storms up, but Ladrona ELBOWS her in return!

Ladrona SMACKS Ruto off the road case! And again, and again! Security gets in there, pulls the two apart, and Ruto is shrieking at Ladrona! The title match settled nothing, will these two just have to run it back?

 

After the HPW World Trios Championship.

Arrow Club returns backstage.

And in this case, it’s all five of them, given Scaly & Torbevito helped Fin & The Ducks win. But they’re all wondering where Ruto went. HPW Media explains what happens, and that Ruto’s getting her head checked. Arrow Club’s mood changes. They just beat TSDQ and “their chick” has to go and do something? Arrow Club obviously ignores the hypocrisy here but they go to find Ruto. Again, will Arrow Club just have to deal with the fact that The Studly Don’t Quit?

 

After the HPW Termina Championship.

Osphala walks backstage.

He just went out there to put Ganon on notice, and he returns backstage to look at the camera. “I’m back, and I’m not going anywhere this time.” Osphala then heads out. Is this going to be Osphala’s year?

Ganon returns backstage.

The Gerudo Ace, Termina title on his shoulder, is upset and confused. “Who does that guy think he is? What was the point of him coming out on stage during my moment? Who even was that guy? Oh? Oh-who? Osphala? Really? That guy’s back? And he’s coming after me? Osphala, you were already an Os-failure of a champion. Now you’re going to be an Os-footnote in my legacy as the greatest Termina Champion of all time!” Ganon leaves, will he leave Osphala behind in the sands of time?

 

After the HPW Triforce World Championship.

Kage storms backstage.

Cia is there, and she wants him to stop so they can talk. She knows he’s in no mood, but he’s still Dark Forces. Kage asks, “Am I? What even is Dark Forces anymore? You let Ganon take charge, just like that? No discussion?” Cia counters by saying there was a discussion, but seeing as how Kage doesn’t stick around, she wasn’t able to consult him. Kage scowls, sighs, then storms off. Cia frowns, are the Dark Forces (not) okay?

Link returns backstage.

TSDQ is there to welcome him and celebrate the victory. Tingle says he never had any doubts, and Skull Kid says same for him. Groose and Ladrona say, “Sure, sure.” Groose gives Link a hard pat on the back and says that was an awesome match! Zelda then walks in, and she brings Link in for a hug. She also congratulates Link on the win, and wishes him luck against Yunobo. “But just so you know, I’m going to Clash of Fates, too. Because I’m going to win the Hyrule Warriors match!” Link is surprised and The Studly are stunned. But Link’s smile and nod means he looks forward to it. Will the Princess of Hyrule become a Hyrule Warrior and take on the Hero at HyruleMania?


My Thoughts:

I know I didn’t get a chance to do a fallout article for Termina Velocity, even though I did one for Wrestling Is Life in June. I might just do these for the “big” events of HPW’s calendar, like Treasure Island, Clash of Fates, HyruleMania and the Hyrule Anniversary. Basically, the HPW “Big 4” that parallel the WWE events. But I definitely needed to get some story going for the Gerudo Sisterhood, as well as the other factions. And expect another news report soon to help build Dark Horse Stampede 3, given I’ve only given myself four weeks this time.

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Bandwagon Nerds #284: Mission Unlikely

The Nerds break down a tremendous Episode 8 of Daredevil: Born Again. Plus, the Sweet 16 of Villain Madness and the return of the Trailer Park!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

This week, the NERDS are back in full force, and there is no shortage of topics to discuss. Episode 8 of Daredevil: Born Again was filled with drama, surprises, and a stunning ending that left all the Nerds wondering what will happen next. After a few weeks’ absence, the Trailer Park returns to look at upcoming releases such as F1, a wild-looking sequel for M.E.G.A.N., another great-looking series on Apple TV (Murderbot), and the finale of the Mission Impossible series. Plus, we get to the Sweet 16 of Villain Madness! Which ultimate bad guys/gals punched their tickets to the Elite 8? All that and, of course Whatcha Watchin”?

  • @AttitudeAgg
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PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!

About Bandwagon Nerds

Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd, and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Chairshot Radio Network

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (4/10/25)

It’s gonna be May!

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There’s been a slight change in the forecast…

There may not be a storm on the horizon, but when Wrestling Is Life, every day is unpredictable! What does HPW have planned for May Day?

 

HPW prepares for the storm ahead…

Blood & Thunder still beckons, and the Faces of Evil need to defend their HPW World Trios Championships. Therefore, Wrestling Is Life will see two qualifying trios matches! After the controversial nature of losing the titles at HyruleMania, Arrow Club is given a spot in these qualifiers. And they will be facing familiar foes in TSDQ! The Studly Don’t Quit, but will they make it through to ThunderStruck? As for the second qualifier, Los Taros Locos will return in hopes of stampeding up to the top of HPW, but they’ll be up against quite the mysterious team. Cia represents the OG Dark Forces expelled from the group, and she’ll bring her sister, Lana, with her!

But who is their third partner? They didn’t name them, so who could it be? Volga? Kevin Gibdo? Or even Wizzro? Will keeping it an unknown be the key to winning?

 

Igos du Ikana speaks.

From inside his shadowy throne room, The Ruler of Ruin looks at the HPW Death Mountain Championship on a pedestal. “The HPW Death Mountain Championship. A championship created not just to commemorate one of Hyrule’s greatest landmarks, but also to commemorate one of Hyrule’s greatest wrestling promotions. Death Mountain Wrestling was a vital part of wrestling history, where legends would pave the way for a new generation, and inspire many more. Not unlike Termina Championship Wrestling.”

Igos walks past the pedestal to look to a trophy case. Igos looks to his copy of the classic TCW Championship, and even of the High Noon Championship. There are also poster sized pictures of Igos’ greatest moments, such as the first time he won the TCW title, and the last time he held it while TCW was still active. Igos continues by saying, “I say this not because you don’t know. Of course you know this. I say this so that you might understand. I say this because I need you to understand. You have great aspirations, and strong ambition, but I don’t think you understand what you’re attempting to achieve.

“You stand at the foot of a mountain, it’s shadow upon you. That mountain’s name is legacy. You want to climb the mountain. You want to reach the top and plant your own flag at the summit. You want everyone to see you, to look up to you, to acknowledge you. But this climb is more challenging than you know. This climb is more challenging than you can handle. These belts may only be ten pounds, but they weigh so much more once you put them on. You are not ready for the climb. You are not ready to carry that weight. You are not ready to push yourself, step after step, inch after inch, as the mountain only grows steeper and steeper. And you never will be.

“So I tell you this not because you do not know. I tell you this so that you may understand. You must turn back now, find another path forward, before it is too late. Before you fall… to ruin.” It is clear who this message is for, but will young Yunobo heed this grizzled warrior’s warning?

 

HPW Deep Dive: Wisdom VS Power.

The Princess of Hyrule visits Hero of Hyrule, Link, now that he’s home from the hospital. He still needs bed rest, given everything Ganon did to him. He has bandages around his head, and his sister, Aryll, checks his stitches. 13 stitches all along the hairline. They’re holding well, no bleeding. Zelda sits with Link and holds his hand. She apologizes for what happened, but Link shakes his head. Aryll agrees, Zelda’s not to blame, Ganon and his Dark Forces are. They ruined her moment, they beat Link down, so they they have to be stopped. Ganon’s coming after the title anyway, so Zelda can get payback at the same time.

Ganon says, “Like I give a damn.” The Gerudo Ace lounges in his manor, The Dark Forces all around him. That now includes Shabonne & Tali, sporting new ensembles to reflect joining up. The Faces of Evil have their HPW World Trios Championships while Ganon has the Triforce Tournament trophy in hand. Ganon then mockingly says, “YoU dEsErVe It~! YoU dEsErVe It~!” Audio from the Triforce Anniversary event is interspliced here, as well as flashes of Zelda being emotional as she has the title belt put on.

“Isn’t it strange that Zelda takes the fall at HyruleMania, but I’m the one relegated to the tournament? And she clearly has that pointy eared little simp wrapped around her finger, or else he wouldn’t have even agreed to the match. But hey, what do I know? I only beat Link one-on-one in his first defense, then beat Zelda one-on-one in my first defense. I’m the Triple Crown Champion, I beat legends of TCW, and I’m this year’s Triforce Tournament winner. No one is more deserving of that title, of whatever title there is, than me! Isn’t that right?” The group all say, “Yeah!”

Ganon says, “The Dark Forces will be golden!” The group again shouts, “Yeah!” Ganon says, “The Dark Forces RUNS HPW!” The group again shouts, “YEAH!!” The Dark Forces all raise a glass to drink it up, while Link rests his head on Zelda’s shoulder and she rests her head on his. The Princess of Hyrule may reign, but will she fail to trump the Gerudo Ace? The countdown is on until May 1st, when Wrestling is Life!


 

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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