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Chris’ IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report! (9/13/18)

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IMPACT Wrestling Results & Report

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Join Chris as he delivers live coverage of this week’s IMPACT Wrestling!!

Follow on Twitter: @OldSkewlPantz

Check out The Bearded IMPACT Podcast on iTunes and all your favorites podcast services!!!

QUICK RESULTS:

  • The Lucha Bros. defeated The Cult Of Lee – pinfall, Pentagon pins Lee, Spiked Fear Factor
  • Alisha defeated Katarina – pin fall, roll up
  • LAX defeated The Fraternity – pin fall, blockbuster/ powerbomb combo, Ortiz pins Decker
  • Brian Cage defeated Kongo Kong pin fall, F-5
  • IMPACT World Title: Austin Aries(c) defeated Fallah Bahh – submission, Last Chancery

________________________________

IMPACT! WRESTLING – Sept. 13, 2018

 

Show opens with a recap of last week’s Knockouts action, with Allie and Keira saving Tessa from the coffin, The Lucha Bros. offer to Cage, the ceasefire between LAX and The OGz, and Moose’s reasons for backstabbing Edwards.

Austin Aries’ music hits, and out comes The Greatest Man Who’s Ever Lived with Killer Kross and Moose. Couches are set up in the ring for the champion and his crew.

Fans chant “douche” at Moose, Aries says “it’s very important to keep yourself clean, I agree with that.” Aries states they’re taking out everyone and no one will stop them.

Moose states they haven’t seen Edwards in a while, Aries says they should check on his wife, and out come KM and Fallah Bahh.

Aries offers them a banana, saying if Bahh ate more bananas, maybe he wouldn’t be so fat as he offers them seats in the ring.

KM said they have motivation from a pretty lady in the back to always to speak their mind. KM then calls Aries a liar and a rotten human being and a horrendous world champion. Aries says that’s okay, because when KM was champion… oh that’s right, he’s never been champion.

KM tells Moose best friends don’t stab each other in the back and starts the “douche” chant again.

Aries says they got off on the wrong foot and apologizes, saying as the champion things got chaotic, and he offers them a peace offering. Aries offers Bahh a World Title shot TONIGHT! Bahh shakes his hand in agreement, and the match is set for tonight!!

To the announce desk with Josh Matthews and Don Callis, as they run down what’s on the show tonight. Josh is thrilled for Bahh, Callis is worried.

Match One: The Lucha Bros. [Pentagon Jr. & Rey Fenix] vs The Cult Of Lee [Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley]

Pentagon starts against Lee. Chops to both Lee and Konley, Bros whip the two men into each other, then Fenix dropkick both to the outside, and the Bros pose in the ring.

**commercial break**

Back in as Lee controls Fenix in a corner, whips him across, Fenix goes outside, enziguri,  and a dropkick in. Off the ropes, The Cult drop Fenix in the top rope, Pentagon in, they both kick him and The Cult stands tall.

Konley in, Lee holds and he punches Fenix. Fenix fights back with chops, but a double thrust drops him into the corner.

Lee in, big boot, Pentagon breaks up the pin at 2. Konley back in with no tag, stomps, cover for nothing, then a choke. Back rake by Konley. Now chops in the corner and a knee stops Fenix.

Lee tags in and stomps Fenix in the corner. Konley chokes with his foot as the referee is distracted. Double team whip, misses the  clothesline’s, and a springboard elbow from Fenix takes them both out.

Fenix tags Pentagon, super kicks all around. Wheelbarrow cutter by Fenix on Lee, then a wheel barrow splash on Konley for two. Pentagon with a HUGH CHOP that echos in the arena on Konley! Tags in Fenix. Lee breaks up the Fear Factor, Konley backhands Pentagon, and a Doomsday Stomp on Fenix, Pentagon breaks up the pin at two. Konley and Lee with superkicks off the ropes.

Lee meets Fenix up top, Pentagon stops Konley from interfering, Fenix springboards into a dive on Konley outside, Pentagon hits a super lung blower on Lee for two.

Bros hit a spike Fear factor on Lee for the 1-2-3 as Fenix dives on Konley on the outside!!

Your winners: The Lucha Bros. (Pin fall)

3.5 out of 5

good back and forth action, made both teams look strong, which I didn’t expect with the recent Cult of Lee losing streak and Pentagon being World Champion. Felt a little like they were trying to fir more moves and spots in, which hurt a little of the story they were telling in the ring.

Video starts of oVe backstage saying they’re on the show so much because they sell tickets. Jake is mimicking Sami for the entire promo. Sami challenges Pentagon, Fenix and Cage to a  six-man tag team match at Bound For Glory, in an oVe Rules Match!!

Backstage, KM is celebrating Bahh’s opportunity, but Bahh looks worried. KM says they need advice from someone who’s been there, from former champions.

**commercial break**

KM and Fallah are now yelling for Eli, including into a dummy and an ATM

KM asks Eli to help make Bahh the face of IMPACT! and Eli says he’s only focused on going to Mexico next week and calling out all the “Tontos! Si! Tontos! Si!” Tells him he should get a cup… or in his case, a bowl.

Chris Jericho Cruise video

And now, the GWN Flashback Moment of the Week!

Backstage interview with Keira Hogan and Allie. Allie says she doesn’t like Tessa, but this isn’t about the Knockout’s Title, it’s about her promise to make sure nobody else goes into Su’s coffins.

**commercial break**

Bound For Glory and BFG television taping video package

Backstage interview with Tessa Blanchard. Says she doesn’t need Allie’s help and she seems right through her.

Match Two: Alisha vs Katarina

Katarina, of course, with no Grado or Joe Hendry after what happened last week.

Callis again asks what’s wrong with Joe for choosing Grado over Katarina.

Grado’s music hits and out he comes with Joe Hendry. Grado has trouble speaking to Katarina and Hendry blames her for his sad state. Hendry says he reacted too quickly last week, and he’s made a music video for Katarina. The song is called “Access Denied” and hits a “what did you do with your pirate brother” line.

Alisha then rolls her up for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Alisha (pin fall)

No Rating

There wasn’t a match here, just a segment and a roll up

Grado then says “Lol” and starts an “Access Denied” chant

Backstage we see KM and Bahh comes out with a glass bowl and a glass cup. KM explains Eli was making fun of him when the Smoke Show music hits, Scarlett says she’s proud of them and says a big strong man deserves gold for around his big strong waist. He then smashes the cup in his hand and he and KM rush off.

**commercial break**

Josh Matthews has a prerecorded interview with Johnny Impact. They recap last week, and the beating Impact took from Aries’ crew. Impact says Aries has his backup, but he will be back for Bound For Glory.

Matthews asks if he’s worried about Kross and Moose, Impact says it’s revealing that’s he’s surrounded himself with goons, and it shows he’s insecure.

Match Three: The Fraternity [Channing Decker & Trent Gibson] vs LAX [Santana & Ortiz](w/ Konnan)

Ortiz starts against the blonde frat bro (Decker), and starts whipping him with a chancla. Forearm from Decker,  he cartwheels and hits a dropkick for one. Tags in the brunette bro (Gibson), and the double team Ortiz. Slam and a leg drop, Santana starts slapping them, The gets caught in a springboard and gets turned inside out.

Cutter on the top rop, covers but Ortiz is on the bottom rope. Santana and Decker in, hits a DDT on Gibson off Deckers shoulders. misses a splash, and Decker hits a topei on Ortiz on the ramp. Gibson has Santana on his shoulders, Ortiz stops Decker, and Santana drops Gibson. LAX double team throw Gibson into a seated Decker in the corner, blockbuster powerbomb on Decker for the 1-2-3

Your winners: LAX – pin fall

3 out of 5

Lopsided win for LAX (duh) as this was mostly a warmup match for them. The Fraternity looks like a solid tag team with a good gimmick, I would like to see them back for real and maybe even a light shot at the Titles some day.

King and the OGz come out, saying there’s a cease fire,  but his boys are hungry. He challenges the LAX saying they won’t do anything. King says he doesn’t regret losing them as family or losing the fans support, he regrets that the kid they hit with the car is still breathing. He then challenges LAX to throw the first punch as we head back stage

Aries being interviewed, Alicia asks what his motivation was. He says he feels as jolly as Santa Claus, just handing out gifts. Says Bahh’s gift will end like everyone else’s shot, in defeat. Says the will be no one left in the locker room when he’s done.

**commercial break**

Bound For Glory package

Matthews recaps what just happened between LAX and the OGz

Another Bound For Glory package

KM giving Bahh a pep talk backstage when Rich Swann comes up and says tonight is his night!

Matt Sydal catches Swann after and says he can help him and show him the way. Swann says in Mexico, he wants to whoop Sydal’s ass

Promo for One Night Only: Night Of the Dummies, tomorrow on the GWN app

Next week we find out who will join the IMPACT! Hall of Fame

Match Four: Kongo Kong vs Brian Cage

*commercial break**

The meet in the middle and Kong knocks Cage off his feet. Forearm shots by Cage and he low bridges Kong onto the ramp. Goes for a slingshot, Kong hits a forearm to stop him, and slingshot crossbody back in for two. Powerslam and along goes up top. Cage meets him, Kong shoves him off and misses a stomp.

Cage charges, caught with a back elbow and his a powerslam. Springboard moonsault gets two. Kong goes for a chokeslam, Cage breaks it, drop toe hold on the top, Kong hits an elbow, rolling splash in the corner, covers for two.

Kong mounts the corner, Cage hits a sit out powerbomb out for two. Cage calls for the discus clothesline, Kong goozles him, throws him in the corner, does it again, goes for a chokeslam that Cage BACKFLIPS OUT OF!!! Cage hits the F-5 for the 1-2-3

Your winner: Brian Cage, pin fall

3.5 out of 5

A way better match then two men of this size should be having together. Kong continues to improve every time he’s in the ring and Brian Cage is just superhuman with some of the things he can do. Highlight of the night backflipping out of the chokeslam for sure!!

Cage has a mic, calls out Callihan and oVe. Says he will walk into BFG and decimate EVERY ONE!

Video package for IMPACT! in Mexico City

Announcers talk about Mexico, the main event and Bound For Glory.

KM and Bahh walking to the ring, and everyone in the locker room is cheering him on.

**commercial break**

Match Five, IMPACT World Championship: Fallah Bahh (w/ KM) vs Austin Aries(c) (w/ Killer Kross & Moose)

Moose and Kross are carrying chairs with them to the ring.

In-ring introductions make this match feel even bigger.

Aries talks smack to start, fakes the test of strength, headlock by Aries. Bahh lowers his head and Aries cartwheels off the ropes. Aries jokes with Moose.

Headlock by Bahh. Aries tries to shoot him off to no luck. Off the ropes a few times, Bahh gets exhausted, Aries chills on the top rope.

**commercial break**

During the commercial,  Aries did some gymnastic while Bahh sucked wind

Bahh hits a huge shoulder tackle, and then says No No NO!! Aries slaps Bahh, who delivers several receipts. Chops Aries down in the corner.

Whips Aries across burns misses the splash. Aries goes over, caught by Bahh but pokes the eyes, then a chop block brings him down. Stomps him and punches and kicks.

Aries begins stomping Bahh’s knee and then takes his back. Chop exchange. Aries tries a sunset flip, Bahh sits but Aries moved.

Aries calls for the Brainbuster, but cannot get him up. He boxes his ears. Bahh counters another Buster attempt into a suplex, chops down Aries. Whips him to the corner and hits a Samoan Drop for two. Aries grabs Bahh’s ankle as attempts to go up the turnbuckles. Aries looks for the Discus Clothesline but Bahh hits a belly to belly. Bahh rolls over Aries,  who counters into the Last Chancery. Bahh breaks on the ropes.

Aries goes for brainbuster, no luck. Discus clothesline, charges Bahh who gets the boot up, splashes him for two and 3/4!!!!

Aries climbs up with Bahh, sunset flip powerbomb into the Last Chansery and Bahh taps out!!

Your winner and STILL IMPACT World Champion: Austin Aries – submission

After the match, the beating begins for Bahh and KM.

They wrap the chair on KM’s head, and hit it with the chair, Aries’ crew stand tall as we go off the air!!

THAT’S ALL FOR TONIGHT!!

One Night Only: Night Of the Dummies is TOMORROW!!! Join me here as I will have all the results!

Don’t forget @OldSkewlPantz on Twitter

and check out The Bearded IMPACT Podcast on all your favorite devices!!

Good night, and happy wrestling!!

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.21.2024

Let’s pretend last week didn’t happen? Okay? So tonight’s iMPACT! has to be better…right?

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So things can’t get much worse than last week unless this ends up a negative score. Hopefully we got the filler episode or the TNA equivalent of A Feast for Crows, out of the way. I’d like at least a high school level attempt at logically telling a story, not bad promos and story beats almost as bad as Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail.

The show kicks off with the Knockouts title match featuring Lish. Now while I’m not gonna put Lish over for her ringwork, but her character work is great. So being a NO DQ match, we should get more gimmick and less “work rate”. I will just make it known before the show happens, I am very sick of Tommy Dreamer’s booking (or whoever really has it). Literally none of the stories matter, they aren’t consistent with the storytelling and are squandering the brand equity and good faith returning to TNA has granted them. Lots of potentially decent pieces on this roster, just booking is written by a blind kindergartner who’s just pulling a lever on a See ‘N Say and making that an angle.

Ratings:

  • TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards: Masha retains via Package Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: ASH wins via Rarefied Air – **
  • Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via School Boy w/ Feet on ropes – ** 1/4
  • Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid: Slater wins via La Magistral – *
  • Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade: Evans wins via Full Nelson Bomb – SQUASH
  • The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven): Trent wins via Birminghammer – ***

 

Results:

TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards

Lish starts off during the introductions, hits a big Forearm and starts laying into Masha in the corner. Lish grabs Kendra, takes a swing, but Masha ducks it and gets a little bit of revenge before a trash can lid stalls Masha’s Suicida. Lish throws Masha back in the ring, along with a chair. Throat Chop from Lish, followed up with a DDT onto the chair and Lish gets an early two count. Lish puts the chair in the corner, bounces Masha’s face off of it a few times before trying to set up for a Corner Crossbody, but Masha moves and Lish eats the chair. Masha grabs a trash can, pops the crowd and tries something but Lish puts the brakes on the initial attack before Masha just smashes Lish’s face into the can, sets her up in the corner, looks for a Superplex through the can, but Lish block and gouges the eyes, slips between her legs and the Avalanche Powerbomb onto the can gives Lish another two count!

Kendra comes into play again, a few quick cracks just seems to piss off Masha, she fires, grabs the kendo stick from Lish and beats on her a few times before the Package Piledriver seals the deal and Masha retains!

Tasha Steelz attacks after the pinfall, so Jordynne makes the save for Masha so they can have a moment before their match at Turning Point. 

ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

ASH plays the powder to annoy the babyface gimmick, but after the second time Jody steps on ASH’s hand when she tries to quickly break the count and powder again. A few suplexes give Jody the early advantage, but she misses the Spear into the corner and posts herself. Heather uses the moment of distraction to hit Jody with a Neckbreaker and ASH grabs a cheap two count. ASH works Jody over in a corner, distracts the referee again so Heather attacks one more time. The crowd is surprisingly loud for a Jody comeback…but ASH does the ole hair slam into a Headlock.

Jody finally powers up for the comeback, rope spot with the Knees to the back and German Suplex but ASH uses the hair pull to stop Jody from continuing…momentarily. Jody is beating on ASH in the corner, perches ASH, looks for the Superplex but Heather tries to get into the ring to distract the referee, Concierge helps to anchor ASH, so ASH fights off Jody, hits Rarefied Air and wins the match!

Mike Santana comes out for a promo, and about a minute into, the stupid channel switches into Picture in Picture mode. DURING A PROMO. So I have no clue if anything being said is clever, well done or why Frankie Kazarian showed up. Anthem needs to get their act together, this is embarrassing. Apparently we come back in time for the punchline and because they’re both gunning for the World Title Santana challenges Kaz to a Turning Point match because “no nights off”? What kind of moron e-fed story is this? And Tom throws to Picture in Picture as soon as Rhino comes out to kick off the Kaz match…but the commercial break already happened. Sad.

Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian

Lots of stalling from Kaz, since this is supposed to be during PiP, so dumb stuff like powdering, opportunistic throwing Rhino face first into the steps…so on and so forth. Just slow paced dumb stuff until we’re supposed to be “back”, so now Rhino will start…yup Uppercut cuts off Kaz, Lariat, a few Knife Edge Chops into some Short Arm Shoulder Tackles. Kaz powders, tries to grab his Call Your Shot trophy, referee takes it away from him, Kaz runs into the ring and tries to grab his scarf, ref again disarms him but Kaz kicks the middle rope into Rhino for a near fall. Kaz starts laying in some fists and chokes with his shin, cocky cover for 2.

They start just throwing hands, because reasons…Rhino gets the best of it and connects with a few Lariats and a Shoulder Tackle into a Belly to Belly for a two count. The crowd is behind Rhino, a few more Lariats, Gore set up, but Kaz sidesteps it, School Boy with the feet on the ropes for the win.

This vignette is hot garbage in my opinion. Trying to frame PTSD as trust issues in half baked choppy Netflix recap of a Burn Notice knockoff. 

Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid

Yeah this match is useless on paper. Laredo is such a filler enhancement talent and even if JDC could eat a pin against say Leon…there’s no way Leon is beating Moose for the X Division title. So aside from a time filler, this match serves no purpose.

JDC starts and eats offense from both Laredo and Leon, as is expected, but I really can’t be dragged into caring about this match. Laredo is joke, Leon is someone they want to hype up but he’s got no discernable personality aside from “British”. Laredo breaks up a pinfall attempt, John Woo Dropkicks JDC into the post after dodging a Spear, Moose catches a Laredo dive and turns it into an Apron Powerbomb, Leon flies over the post to wipe out Moose, locks up JDC in the La Magistral, and its over.

So as I alluded to, it’s technically just a way to set up a challenger for the X Division title, but even if the match is good, Leon shouldn’t beat Moose unless he brings a rifle. 

Hendry is out talking, as per usual, and doing his usual thanking the fans for believing and saying all the babyface things. Is definitely cookie cutter, he’s passionate so he sells the basic words well, but it’s basic shit.

Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade

Skye Blue from wish is the jobber that Savannah gets to eat. Propels Jade across the ring, corner splashes a few times, throws her into the ropes, Jade goes for a Flying Headscissors but Savannah blocks the momentum and reverses it, Facebuster, Samoan Drop, and now Full Nelson Bomb to kill the jobber. There we go, no one is shocked and it didn’t really do anything for Savannah, it was more just a basic reminder of her power moves. Nothing flashy, so if Lei Ying Lee loses, then she’s dead in the water.

The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven)

The Seven Star Hammer Daddies or Birminghammer Daddies…not sure which I like more. Think I’m leaning towards Birminghammer Daddies.

Hammer and Matt start, Matt has control, Jake tries to make the save but ends up eating the Delete Buckle Face Smashes. Matt tries to Double Coconut Jake and Hammer, but they no sell, beat their chests and drop Matt. Hammer works over Matt a little, tags in Trent and then Matt counters whatever Trent tries and gets Jeff in. Classic Senton/Legdrop Doubles, Jeff’s Low Dropkicks, and just typically classic Hardy stuff. Jeff looks for Twist of Fate, Bop and Bang counters, Trent hits a Flowsion and tags out to Jake. Jeff and Matt do some veteran tactics with a blind tag as Jake tries to chase Jeff. But the referee tells Jake that Jeff isn’t legal just in time for Matt to hit a Chop Block and tandem Hardy offense, Ace gets involved in some of the fun and finally gets tagged in. Ace has Jake in the corner, Hammer tries to break things up but Ace moves and Hammer collides with Jake, Trent gets sent in, Double Poetry on the stacked up heel team, they go for Twists in Triplicate…but the heels shove off and powder.

After the picture in picture, we know the heels had control with basic heel stuff, but Ace clears the apron with a big Double Dropkick, Enzuigiri to Trent to try and lunge, but Jake and Hammer pull the Hardys off the apron. Tandem Powerbomb from the Daddies, Trent hits the Seven Star Lariat, but Ace kicks out at two! Birminghammer attempt is slipped, X Plex attempt but Ace turns it into a Flatliner! Ace tags in Jeff and Trent didn’t look for the tag! Jeff hot tag, wipes out the apron, through the legs Double Leg Drop, Flashing Elbow, but the Daddies come in and we get to the signature spam moves for moves sake moment. Matt counters a tandem Back Body Drop with the Double DDT, Twists in Triplicate are hit, Swanton Bomb is called for but Jake and Hammer put a stop to that.

Ace tries to fly on the big men but they catch him, so Jeff gets up and connects the big splash to assist Ace. Plot Twist on Trent! Swanton Bomb from Jeff, 1-2-but Hammer and Jake pull out Ace. Hardys almost fall victim to the Final Chapter, but slip it and hit Stereo Twists of Fate. Referee is checking on the outside stuff, counters The Fold with a Low Blow, Birminghammer wins the match for the Birminghammer Daddies!

Hardyz try to attack Trent, but the big men stop them, they look to make an example out of the veterans, but Rascalz and Kushida make the save. 

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Still not what I would call a “good” episode, but at least there was a semblance of trying to remember stories they had going on, a couple alright promos and vignettes. But between the Picture in Picture mistiming, the Maclin vignette being inane and three matches in the middle that mean literally nothing in the grand scheme of things just makes the show feel both bloated and lacking at the same time. Genesis better be the start of a new booker, because literally everything since Scott left has been kinda stupid. A few obvious connections got made and that was fine, but the reimagining of The System swagger (or lack thereof), Hendry becoming the Tetsuya Naito of TNA and the desolate Knockouts Division really makes this a hard product to get any consistency out of much less tolerate what they hand us.

The main event was at least tolerable, give Trent and Ace something with Speedball leaving and Bey injured, and potentially setting up Hammer Daddies to challenge for the tag titles, I’m not mad at that. If I had a say in things, Hardyz should drop the belts to either Hammer Daddies or First Cla$$.

So this was better than last week, but that’s a low bar, and with next week being a Thanksgiving Special, this was technically the Go Home for Turning Point. So next Friday is hopefully a good show, because that card looks bad.

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.14.2024

The first episode after fresh tapings! How does TNA try to pivot and make a sensible card after the cobbled together last two weeks?

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Well now we’re starting with a new set of tapings, and I don’t think I heard about any crazy injury issues. So let’s see what is supposed to make sense going into Turning Point, because let’s be honest, since Scott left the stories have been inane, the booking has been questionable at best and even though the hype of the TNA name being back is probably driving attendance for major events…let’s not act like this has been “good” in the last 8 months.

Here’s to hoping Genesis kicks off some semblance of logic in the storytelling, because if these shows are mostly bad and only carried by a handful of decent matches or entertaining vignettes every couple of weeks…that ain’t enough.

But hey, I guess we’ll see…right? Why do I have a feeling this week will suck?

Ratings:

  • KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
  • Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – *
  • The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham: Josh wins via C4 Spike – **
  • Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – **
  • Rosemary vs Jada Stone: Rosemary wins via As Above So Below – Squash
  • Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers: Nic wins via Danger Zone – ** 1/4

 

Results:

KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana

Navarro is a punching bag early on, he thinks he outsmarts Santana a few times but pays for the arrogance, but it is very entertaining. From not being able to Roll-Up Santana cause Navarro is too small or getting kicked into AJ’s arms like a small child. But finally AJ being out there pays some dividends for Navarro…or not, never mind, one Suicida and then Santana no sells a few chops and ragdolls Navarro. Navarro tries to use some of his speed to catch Santana off guard a few times, but Santana catches him, blocks the Rana, turns it into the Wheelbarrow Overhead Facebuster, transitions into a Sitout Powerbomb for 2, and the Spin the Block puts Navarro away.

No one should be surprised, but KC is a gem, he’s money money…yeah…yea.

Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz

Jake being back is always nice, but Angels is more like an Albatross. Rascalz pull off the ACS Rush as an ode to the MCMG and The ABC combination flurry. So nice feel good babyface stuff. Half Nelson Suplex from Angels on Miguel after some cheating and suddenly Rascalz are on the receiving end. After some slow and arrogant heel offense, we finally see Trey snap off a Suplex and get Wentz in for the hot tag. Simultaneous time, Jake and Wentz are in, and Wentz is beating the hell out of the Golden Draw. Wentz tags Trey, they go for some tandem stuff but Angels rips Wentz out of the ring, Jake pulls off the Marufuji Kick Corner Combination to get space, Trey looks for the Meteora, Angels picks the foot and tags in, combination Kick into Splash from Angels…and…Wentz makes the diving save.

Wentz starts flying around with Trey, stereo corner attacks, assisted Dropkicks, a flurry of offense, FEED EM TO THE LIONS! Wentz dives out on Jake and Trey gets the pinfall.

The right team went over, but I can’t care when Angels is involved.

Spitefire has a terrible and cringe promo, that I refuse to embed. The fact I’m even mentioning it is enough to question my sanity.

The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham

The dorks of the Armoury are getting manhandled by the babyface or tweener team. I don’t know which jabroni is which, and I refuse to learn because they suck. We go to picture in picture once they heels take a few shortcuts and get the upperhand, so nothing of great impact happens. The bald jaborni is in the ring with Maclin when we finally come back, Bell Clap, Backfist but Maclin hits the Busaiku Knee to stop the attacks. Simultaneous tags EY and Josh are in! EY comes out hot, a few right hands, Neckbreaker, Tombstone Piledriver reversal into the Youngblood Neckbreaker for two! EY tries to knock down the jabronis on the apron and Josh takes the chance to hit a few German Suplexes and simultaneous tags again.

Gresham and hair jabroni do a Fighting Spirit spot that Gresham gets the best of for a while, but the standing switches go against Gresham, hair jabroni trips him, PK into a Elbow Drop Variant. Looks for the tag team tandem move with his imbecile buddy, Up in the Clouds gets countered, but numbers game works in the heels favor. The jabronis feed Josh, try to set up the C4 Spike but they get grabbed out of the ring, Gresham counters the C4 with a Double Legged Cradle, Gresham gets a few moves in and goes to the top, jabronis attack Gresham, Sudden Silence nearly wins the match until Maclin bull rushes one into the Pinfall.

Lots of just schmoz spots, eventually EY hits the Spicolli Driver, Caught in the Crosshairs from Maclin on Josh, EY looks for the Macho Elbow but Maclin won’t stop pummeling Josh. EY and Maclin have a moment, but this becomes a comedy of errors with all the babyfaces trying to cover the other’s back and Josh drives Maclin into EY, hits the C4 Spike and I can’t find myself caring enough about this match or about 1/3rd of the participants names.

Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry

Hendry starts off by saying he has a directors cut, and it’s the same, so solid joke. The crowd chants “One More Time” so he plays it again and then Ryan attacks. Ryan gets like 30 seconds of offense and doesn’t really do much, Hendry starts firing a few Uppercuts that seem to rock Ryan more than anything he’s done. Ryan manages to ground Hendry and go for a Sleeper Hold that Hendry of course charges up back to his feet, fights out of, but Ryan drives the Shoulder into Hendry’s gut in the corner and goes back to the Sleeper spot for Hendry to fight back up from, but Ryan pulls the hair to pull him down.

Very basic match so far, Rude Awakening from Ryan as he goes to the top rope…jaws at the crowd who’s chiding him, and Hendry gets up and throws him from the top. Hendry fires a few punches, two Lariats, Sack of Shit into the Kip Up and spin around to start the Standing Ovation stomp…gets him up and down! Hendry wins to no one’s surprise.

Rosemary vs Jada Stone

So we get a Rosemary enhancement match instead of something moving Lei Ying Lee and Savanna Evans’ story further? What are we gonna get a dumb vignette or something instead of actually building up lesser established talent? And yes, I’m just going with stream of consciousness because no one cares about this. Rosemary will win, it’s an enhancement match, Rosemary will play with her food until she decides she’s bored. Spear into As Above So Below, the crowd goes…to get snacks.

Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers

Nic looks for the Superkick immediately to reference their last WWE match, but Myers powders, Nic gives chase and then Myers cuts him off and lands a few early shots. Two big sternum first Irish Whips, rope choke, and okay Nic slips the Press, connects with a Dropkick and then returns the Irish Whips in kind. Nic smashes Myer’s face into a turnbuckle, turns it into a Head and Leg Cradle for 2. Body Slam from Nic, he sets up for the Superkick but Eddie gets involved to stop it and the ref sees, so kicks him out. Nic is too busy waving and teasing Eddie, Myers tries a Roster Cut from the blind side but Nic ducks it and Myers spills to the outside. Alisha gets in the way to stop Nic’s momentum and Myers rams him into the apron and then throws him into the steps before hitting his Raven pose and we go to picture in picture, so nothing worth talking about will happen. Just plodding offense, rest holds and we’ll probably come back in time for the babyface to make a comeback.

Oh look we come back from PiP, Nic with a cut off comeback, but Manhattan Drop gets countered and Nic connects with a Dropkick to start his comeback. Two Lariats, Shot to the Heart Elbows, tunes up the band…but Myers ducks and cowers so Nic has to adjust. Myers hits a big Gamengiri into an Implant DDT for 2! Myers looks for the Roster Cut, but Nic catches him in a Jumping DDT into the FameASSer for another two count! The referee checks on Myers, Nic looks to tune up the band again and Lish uses Kendra to wack Nic a few times! Spear from Myers! Only a two count. Hendry leaves the announce desk and just picks up Lish and walks out with her kicking and screaming. Myers is distracted, so he eats a Superkick into Danger Zone, aaaannnddd Eddie attacks Nic after the win.

Hendry comes back out with Kendra, beats on Myers and Eddie, nearly hits Nic but stops himself and they have a tense moment. But Hendry made the save with only stares and tension being shared between him and Nic, nothing more. 

The show also goes off the air with a weird vignette of Maclin getting into his vehicle and this weird Country Christian “I Will Rise” somber song playing. They’re really trying to make it seem like he’s chewing on that stuff EY said? Do it in the ring, not through a dumb vignette with an obscure song. 

Overall Score: 0/10

Give me my 2 hours back! I was lenient last two weeks because they were working around injuries that probably affected some bigger stories, but this was a fresh set of tapings and we get this car crash soaked in diarrhea? Shoehorning in attempts at logic and random matches because of dumb reasons, whoever is booking, be it Delirious, Dreamer, NOSAWA, Tua Tagovailoa’s CTE…I don’t know, but fire them, not once, but twice. Send Dahyun or Nayeon to soften the blow and make sure the Twice joke lands, but just fire the booker.

I don’t even have anything positive or reflective to say about this episode. It was bad, whatever it set up for next week is stupid, so many matches that shouldn’t be booked because there’s no tension. Like there’s been plenty of bad episodes and strings of terrible television, but this was offensively stupid and a time waste.

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