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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Rammstein - Zeit (2022) | The Chairshot
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Andrew’s Judgmental Album Reviews: Rammstein – Zeit (2022)

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You know, I kinda forgot they made new music and judging from their discography…so did they. I was gonna start this by saying the last album of theirs that I paid any level of attention to was Rosenrot (2005), and it looks like I’ve only missed two other albums in the past 17 years. So I feel significantly less out of the loop.

I’m fairly sure Du Hast is a significant enough song that anyone between 15 and 45 should be aware of this band. Crazy stage antics, a little comedy but heavy on the Industrial Metal side of the game. No other introduction should really be needed. If for some reason you don’t know Rammstein, first off, for shame…what are you, 12? Secondly, just Google it, I’m not Wikipedia for a band this big.

Rammstein is: Till Lindman (vocals & harmonica), Richard Kruspe (lead guitar & backing vocals), Paul Landers (rhythm guitar & backing vocals), Oliver Riedel (bass), Christoph Schneider (drums & percussion) & Christian Lorenz (keyboards, samples, synthesizers & trumpets)

  • Artist: Rammstein
  • Album: Zeit (2022)
  • Label: Universal
  • Total Track Time: 44:06

Armee der Tristen so the name means “Army of the Dreary” and instrumental it definitely fits the motif. There is a hopeless march, but it also feels oddly Synthwave. The lyrics seem to urging commiseration, unity through depression. Which given the fact the album was written during the height of the pandemic, it’s actually a unique spin on the overall feeling those years hit us all with. I really enjoy the heavy synth in the song, because it feeds this retro Blade Runner kind of dread with a nice marching tempo. Also reminds me a lot of Mein Herz brennt. Zeit, now this one I knew, Zeit means time. The song reminds me a little of Rosenrot since it starts really somber and almost like a ballad before the chorus brings in heavier instrumentation to drive the time concept as the big apex of message. The listlessness of the instrumentation and the imagery of time standing still, with a little touch of angelic choral singing as the song ends, really adds a lot of depth to the emotion of the song. Lyrics painting this picture of time frozen still as the future looks bleak with people dying to live, again has this dystopian feel and as much as I’m getting tired of Pandemic songs, these first two are a unique enough take, that I’m really enjoying them.

Schwarz, black…the title means black. Lyrically it paints in a lot of the meanings on black. Loneliness, night time, dark places in your mind, impending doom. The bridge gets across this acceptance I suppose of how life was in a doomed acceptance kind of way; “The night is beautiful (Beautiful), I don’t want to go to sleep”. Could it also be the darkness leads you to suicidal thoughts so it’s actually not wanting to go to sleep as symbolism for giving into the dark thoughts? Yes it could. Either way, it’s a subdued vibe that really leaves an interesting taste in your mouth. Giftig well at first with the added keyboard effects it sounded like a Nightwish song. Since the translation name is Toxic, honestly, it feels reminiscent to Poison by Alice Cooper. Talking about being bitten in his sleep but he likes the poisoning. The tempo being a bit more upbeat and the lyrics being generally vague enough, you can disconnect your mind from the overall Pandemic vibe and just apply the words to other things. It was a nice change of pace. Zick Zack alright, so Toxic did a great job at shifting the vibe a little and this is more of an amusing commentary song that Rammstein is known for. Snip Snip is the English idea, and the whole song is about plastic surgery. It ties into the album since the chorus applies a “tick-tock” and talks about time running out so people use plastic surgery to turn back the clock. Also, the song sounds VERY Rammstein. So they haven’t lost who they are, and I personally appreciate the pallet cleanse on Pandemic songs at this point (in case there are more on the way).

OK is short for ohne kondom…which means, without condom. This is just an irreverent song, I do appreciate how they use the lyric of “Du hast mich in der Hand”, which du hast means “you have” and the rest you can figure out. The song is just fun, nothing deep to extrapolate. Meine Tränen, means my tears. This has almost a Doom Metal kind of sludge to it, and a really audible and cool bassline. We get a great story song here, which Rammstein is no stranger to. Capturing a weird story of a man who lives with his mother because she drove out the father and is generally a sour and bitter woman. Timing wise it almost feels like a funeral dirge, its slow, melodic and has an eerie sense of desperation. Really cool song. Angst, if you know what angst means in English it’s not hard to figure out it means fear. Another story song, this time about an urban legend of more or less the Boogeyman that apparently has even stuck with adults. This indoctrinated fear of mistrust and listening to commandments blindly. It’s a really interesting song, which at face value I will just say is about the Boogeyman and no more cleverly veiled meaning since I’m not up on my German social constructs and world perspective.

Dicke Titten hahahahahaha. Okay the music even starts with like old corny cartoon music. It’s about an older man who wants a girlfriend, she doesn’t need to be beautiful, tall, smart or rich…she just needs to have dicke titten…big tits. A very simple man, the man is a hero to his generation. See aside from being sophomoric and inane to a degree, this kind of song is beautiful purely for the reason that they still retained their classic sense of humor during a trying time for everyone. Being able to write some bleak and depressing songs, then a song about Big Tits and No Condom, it’s hilariously refreshing. Lügen starts off very counter to the meaning of the title. The first two verses are about walking on the beach recounting a happy life with a wife and children and visiting grandparents. The instrumentation is even the stereotypical reflective beautiful music. But then when the chorus kicks in, he says it was all Lugen (lies). So the music got a little heavier, than for the third chorus they go back to the reminiscing music, but he’s more frantic and pained in his vocal delivery as he unloads the fact that he’s a liar. A beautiful dynamic and dichotomy in the song, and simple expressive techniques like singing the third verse differently. Wonderful song on all accounts. Adieu, I’m not translating that, don’t be a doofus. This is a very smart way to tie everything together. It takes a darker and more epic musical score, referencing how only death lasts forever, and we all die alone; but they will remember us. It’s bleak and yet uplifting because even through all of crazy times and the inevitable, I’ll just throw in the chorus: “Adieu, goodbye, see you again!
You have to go the last way alone, One last song, one last kiss, No miracle will happen, Adieu, goodbye, see you again!, I had a nice time with you”, see bleak yet oddly sweet. A damn good last song on the album.

So this is the first album in a while, that I can say I didn’t have an issue with any song. Sure songs like Zick Zack and OK were a little more ridiculous than I personally have great tolerance for, but as part of the album they worked well to steer away from the pandemic dread and into more of a “Rammstein feel”. Thusly, alone they are weak but as a part of the album, I really appreciate their inclusion. It’s also really great to hear that after being a band for nearly 30 years, they still know who they are.

Lugen is probably my favorite song off the album, but again I didn’t hate anything on the disc. Rammstein can somehow acknowledge a world changing event, and then still find the humor in big tits and not wearing a condom. If only everyone could do the same. Moving forward isn’t about living in the past, it’s about acknowledging, learning, and continuing your life. We only has so much Time…afterall.

Final Judgment: 8.35/10

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Bandwagon Nerds #288: Disney In The Desert

Disney makes a controversial decision about where it is building its 7th theme park. Plus, loads of trailers, Thunderbolts* news, DCU updates, and more!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

Patrick returns to the show this week and leads the guys through a stacked Trailer Park, including the most recent previews of Old Guard 2, The Long Walk, Peacemaker Season 2, and Stick. Patrick also shares his thoughts with Dave and Tunney about Thunderbolts* and addresses some interesting rumors about what didn’t make it into the film. Meanwhile, Disney makes a very divisive decision about a 7th theme park, and President Trump’s trade war targets the film industry. It sounds crazy, but it’s true. If you are curious, we have answers, so make sure you tune in!

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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/9/25)

June will be electric!

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Prepare for the most electrifying even of the HPW calendar!

While the stage is set for Blood & Thunder 4 and the HPW World Trios Championships, HPW must also address the return of KAGE!

 

Thundra Plateau is ready.

Wrestling is Life, but life has its stormy weather. The rain is going to be hot in June, but will the reign continue through the Summer? The Dark Forces may have failed to take the Undisputed Triforce World Championship from Zelda, but they still have the World Trios Championships. Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko will step inside the double ring, double cage to defend their gold. On one side, Arrow Club’s special combination of Fin Balure, Torbevito & Bad Croc Scaly. On the other, a new combination of its own in Cia, Lana & Midna.

 

Speaking of Cia, Lana & Midna…

The three of them are together, dressed in workout attire, in what appears to be a dance studio. This is a collaboration stream for Midna and Lana as they’re both big presences on the internet, aka “influencers.” Lana and Midna wave and say hi, and they give introductions, including Cia, who is reluctant to be standing there. Cia doesn’t know why they need to do this. Lana says they have to improve their teamwork. They may have won against Los Taros Locos, but it was really sketchy there for a second. Midna adds that doing a dance routine together is great for their timing and coordination.

Cia says she didn’t mean that, she meant having to stream it! Oh, well obviously, combining Midna’s viewing audience with Lana’s, and HPW’s overall, this makes huge numbers! So? And huge money…! Cia raises her eyebrow and says, “Oh really?” The trio sets up, and Lana says obviously they first have to learn the steps. Midna brings up, “Wait, what song are we dancing to?” Oh, good point. Lana was thinking something from Lulu. Cia asks, “Lulu? From the Indigo-Go’s?” Midna says Lulu’s got a great solo album. Lana agrees! That’s so great that they like the same music. Cia isn’t as familiar with her solo stuff, so she’ll rely on them for this.

Lana suggests they go with Energetic Me. For one, it has the most energy, duh. And it still has a dance vibe, which is the whole point. Midna says she might’ve gone with Royal Discotheque or Ten Outta Ten, but she sees Lana’s point. Lana shows them the dance moves she has in mind. Left arm up, bent at the elbow, and the hand up against the side of the chest. Then they switch so the right arm goes up to mirror that position while the left hand goes back to the hip. Maybe add a little hip pop as that happens. Do that a couple times, and then turn to the right. This puts the left hand on the back of the hip, right hand on the back of the neck for a sexy pose.

Then you turn to flip it the other way, then do a 360 with a big neck whipping, hair flipping move. Then finish with feet apart and double V’s up by the eyes, maybe with a wink. Cia says, “Yeah, okay…” while Midna says, “I like it!” Midna says she’ll set up in the middle. Cia asks why Midna is in the middle, and Midna says it’s symmetry. She’s the tallest, Cia and Lana are about the same, it makes sense. Yeah, but it also means Midna is the center of attention. Well, that’s just coincidental. Lana says it doesn’t matter, the point is them doing it all in synch. Cia sighs and says, “Fine.” Midna is in the middle, Cia is on her right, and the music plays.

Left arm, right arm, left arm, right arm, pose to the right, pose to the left, 360 spin and neck whip, then double V. Midna nailed it, but Cia was lagging. Cia defends she was not, but Lana says it’s alright, they’ll just keep trying. They run through it a couple more times, they do tighten it up, and all three feel really good about how that went.

The Dark Forces are watching.

They aren’t impressed by the “little dance party.” Harlequin says the Faces of Evil are way better anyway. Especially with the classics like the Thriller dance and Macarena. Zant says, “The Macarena? Pfft, and people think I’m a dork…” Harlequin says, “Don’t you dare mock the Macarena!” Harlequin changes tabs on the computer and starts playing the song! After the introduction, he lifts his right arm up flat, then his left. Then he turns the right hand up, the left hand up, puts his right hand on his left shoulder, left hand on right shoulder, then moves right hand up behind his head, and then his left.

Now his arms crisscross, right hand on left hip and left hand on right hip, to then switch so right hand on right hip and left hand on left hip. And of course, he swivels his hips in one big circle to go with “HEY~ Macarena! AIGHT!” Zant rolls his eyes while Harlequin keeps going, jumping 90 degrees to his left. Ganon walks in, Ghirahim following behind, and he tells Harlequin to “turn that crap off.” Harlequin pouts but he does as told. Ganon seethes as he takes a seat in his big arm chair. “Needless to say… Wrestling is Life didn’t go how I’d hoped. What was Kage even doing there?! Did either of you have any idea he was going to betray us?!”

Zant and Ghirahim are a bit flustered. Zant isn’t even sure Kage was part of The Dark Forces at the time Ganon took ownership. He’d kinda gone rogue at some point, didn’t he? Ghirahim agrees, it didn’t seem like he was even aligned with Cia and the others. All the more reason for Kage to keep his nose out of Ganon’s business! If Kage cared about the Dark Forces, then he would’ve helped them fight back at HyruleMania, or any time since. Kage clearly just wants the title, same as Ganon, so he’s a dead man walking. Speaking of that… Where’s Kevin? He came back in April, why isn’t he here?

 

Somewhere dark and spooky…

Heavy footsteps can be heard echoing as Kevin Gibdo moves down the hallway. He speaks with a low, airy voice, “Majora… Your madness… spread like wildfire… You thought by setting me ablaze… I would crumble into ash… You were wrong! Instead, I have been purified…! Purged of flaws and weaknesses… I now come forth… as gold!” There’s a light at the end of the hall, and Kevin enters a grand hall, with treasure gleaming in the light. At the center is the sarcophagus. Kevin walks up to it, opens it, and then his burnt and tattered bandages fall away before he steps inside. The sarcophagus closes, then the eyes on it begin to glow… Then the entire thing glows!

The glowing becomes a shining light, and that shining becomes so bright that nothing can be seen. It is clear things between Kevin and Majora are not over. Will the Masked Monster even stand a chance once the Gibdo of All Gibdos is restored to full strength?

 

Back to the Dark Forces…

Shabonne says, “I’m sure Kevin is just fine doing whatever Gibdos do on their time off.” Tali says, “What matters is what I’m about to do to that tiny little weasel with the Goddess Championship. If The Dark Forces is gonna have all the gold, then I need to squash her like a bug and take that title off of whatever’s left!” Ganon nods and says he likes the initiative. Tali will start on her own Triple Crown as the Dark Forces will make Hyrule Pro-Wrestling their kingdom! The group cheers while raising a toast! And then Harlequin gets Glutko and Lupay to join in on the Macarena, to which Ganon groans and facepalms.

 

And so, the ThunderStruck card is set!

The double ring, double cage will rattle with Blood & Thunder as the HPW World Trios Championships are on the line! The Gerudo Ace looks to settle a grudge with the Hero’s Shadow! And now, the Million Rupee Championship and HPW Goddess Championships will also be on the line! Will the Dark Forces absolutely dominate the Summer? Be ready to endure the heat on Friday, June 20th!

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast 

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5

Classic POD is WAR


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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