Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/30/23)
Dawn of the Second Day!
The following announcement has been paid for by the UnderWorld Order.
A computer types out the following.
TO: ARROW CLUB
SCUM OF THE EARTH
NOWHERE LAND 54321
And then a highlight reel plays, with the different times the uWo has beat up on Arrow Club: the Trios #1 Contender’s Gauntlet Match on March 17th, and Blood & Thunder 2 on May 5th. And all the while, on top of the match audio and the uWo theme song, the members of the uWo are talking trash. “Fin Balure…! The Young Ducks…! Arrow Club…! No one’s (No no no one’s) sweatin’ you~! Arrow Club…! HyruleMania will be your doom (your doom your doom) DOOM! The UnderWorld Order (UnderWorld Order O-O-O-Order) is-”
But then there’s a record scratch and the uWo’s video glitches and gives way to the Arrow Club logo. Fin Balure says, “UnderWorld freakin’ Order, get the freak outta here.” Mack Quackson asks, “Yeah, wasn’t there something about, uh, cheating?” Rick says, “Yeah, yeah. They had to scratch Scaly’s eyes and distract the ref for a cheap shot. UnderWorld Order? More like Underhanded Order.” Fin adds, “What kind of champions would do that? That’s not right.” Mack continues by pointing out how the next time was Blood & Thunder. They don’t wanna make excuses but c’mon, that’s all No Disqualifications. “This is going to be a straight-up, 3v3, may the best wrestlers win.”
The uWo cut back in. Death Sword says, “Oh you think you’re the best wrestlers? All because you’re popular and you get booked for stuff? Gimme a break.” Gomess says, “If you’re as good as you think you are, then why didn’t you win the gauntlet? Why didn’t you win Blood & Thunder? Why do you need a third third man to join you?” Scaldera laughs, then says, “How about you boys learn to shut the duck up? How are you even a team? You’re just a bunch of indie darlings that stuck together.” “Okay, if we’re going to question how a team is a team,” Mack says, “then what are you guys even bonded by? Being rejected Halloween decorations?”
“In the end,” Fin says, “this will be about who’s the best.” Death Sword says, “This will be about who outplays the other.” “This will be about coming together as a team,” The Ducks say. “This will be about who is championship material,” Scaldera says. Then in pairs–Death Sword and Fin, Gomess & Scaldera, Mack & Rick–they say “This!” “This!” “This!” and all six together, “will be about who’s just… too… SWEET~!”
The Gerudo Sisterhood has entered the chat.
Shabonne asks, “You boys forgetting something? Yeah, okay, we’re not in on the trios title match, and we could look back, whine and complain about why that is, but no, we’re not going to do that. The Gerudo Sisterhood looks to the future!” “SAO’TEN!” the others say together. Riju says, “Aveil will lead the way!” Buliara says, “Aveil will win the day!” Tali says, “Aveil will not stop!” Shabonne says, “Aveil will reach the top!” Aveil says, “Sarqso, sarqso. <Thank you, thank you.> Hollywood ReDead, your ego is so big, you had to get your boy, Beedle, make you a title that would then feed your ego to make it grow even more!” The group says, “That’s just sad.”
“But what’s going to be even sadder,” Aveil says, “is when I take that title from you, exposing you as a paper champion propped up by everyone else around you. From the wrestling reapers who took you in to Beedle the benefactor to even your four weird little girlfriends, you’re just one million rupees wasted on a bad investment.” The group all shakes their heads, and Shabonne even adds, “A crying shame, really.”
But the uWo is back with another “paid announcement.” This time, Hollywood ReDead is on screen with Beedle and the Poe Sisters. They’re all in nice business attire, with ReDead at the podium and the Million Rupee Championship sitting on it, and a uWo banner behind them. This is a mock press conference as the Poe Sisters all want to be called on by “Mr. Dead.” He calls on Beth, and she asks, “What are your thoughts on Aveil saying you are a paper champion?” ReDead says that’s insulting to his past opponents. Or, rather, opponent since it’s only been Donny B. Kool. “Could a paper champion beat the same person two different times? I don’t think so.”
Amy’s turn now, and she asks, “What have you been doing to prepare for this match?” ReDead has been clangin’ ‘n’ bangin’ to build up the 24 inch pythons, they might’ve even reached 25 inches by now. Joelle asks, “With the UnderWorld Order facing Arrow Club and you facing Aveil, who has her Sisterhood, what do you think the chances are of new champions being crowned at HyruleMania?” ReDead says, “Read my lips: No new champions!” Meg wraps by asking if he has any last words for his opponent at HyruleMania 4?
“Aveil, you may be a Desert Flower, but you have a snowball’s chance in Hell against me! And the only wasted investment here is all the hopes and dreams put on your shoulders weighing you down! HPW is of the UnderWorld Order, by the UnderWorld Order and for the UnderWorld Order!” ReDead then flexes and the Poe Sisters cheer.
The top factions in HPW are set to collide.
All dressed to the nines for HyruleMania press events, Arrow Club, the Gerudo Sisterhood and the UnderWorld Order walk red carpets and pose for photos. The uWo all hold gold right now, but will things drastically change after the Celebration of Greatness?
My Thoughts:
Another crammed hype special, but I really like how this turned out. Obviously I referenced as much as I could of NWO and Hogan, and poked some fun at real world political stuff, but I’m really proud of the “no new champions” line. These matches should also be a lot of fun with the history that can be called upon, even in just the four years I’ve been doing this.
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The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 64
HPW holds its FIFTH Celebration of Greatness, the FIFTH HyruleMania, and yet things look a bit like April 1st, 2020. Will history repeat itself in epic fashion?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- HPW Death Mountain Championship Ladder Match: Thunderbird VS Ralph VS Ghirahim VS Militron VS Igos du Ikana VS Grim Creeper; Igos wins and becomes the new HPW Death Mountain Champion.
- Million Rupee Championship Moon Madness Match: Kevin Gibdo VS Majora; Majora wins and becomes the new Million Rupee Champion.
- HPW Termina Championship Open Challenge: Osphala VS Torbevito; Osphala wins and retains the title.
- HPW Goddess Championship: Ladrona VS Ruto; Ladrona wins and retains the title.
- HPW World Trios Championships Triple Threat: Arrow Club VS The Dark Forces VS The Faces of Evil; FOE wins and are the new HPW World Trios Champions.
- Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship Triple Threat: Link VS Ganon VS Zelda; Link wins and retains the title.
PLAY BY PLAY
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
“And in some ways, that’s incredibly true for people. Some say they want to change, but do they really try? Are they lying to the people around them? Or just lying to themselves?” Good visual montage shows us the past five years, the growth of the many stars of HPW, heroes and villains alike. “Can things change with enough willpower? Or does it take a little something more? There’s much magic and mystery in Hyrule’s history, but one thing is clear to everyone here in HPW: You must fight to get what you want!
Since April 1st of 2020, we have seen The Hero of Hyrule become a THREE-TIME HPW Triforce World Champion, The Gerudo Ace become HPW’s first and only Triple Crown Champion, and the Princess of Hyrule set a substantial mark as the TWO-YEAR HPW Goddess Champion. They now meet again here, the biggest night of HPW’s calendar, and perhaps the grandest Celebration of Greatness yet! But will history repeat itself with another victory for Link? Will Ganon become a two-time world champion? Or is this going to be the night Zelda finally takes the throne?
But that’s not all, as this night is loaded! Kevin Gibdo looks to settle things with the UnderWorld Order once and for all, but he’ll have to play by Majora’s rules, so to speak. The Wrestling Roulette has been employed again and again in this high risk rivalry between Kevin and the uWo, and now it’ll be spun again and again until someone wins! Who will succumb to the Moon Madness? Osphala also seems willing to gamble with his gold, as he is putting up his Termina Championship in an Open Challenge! Who will answer the call in hopes of cutting Osphala’s reign short?
And speaking of settling scores, Ladrona took the title from Ruto, but Ruto wants revenge! Will the Thief Girl be able to keep the Zora Princess’s treasure from her? Or will Ruto once again be Goddess Champion? Arrow Club is going to be busy tonight as it would seem Ganon is sending his entire army after them! The Dark Forces and the Faces of Evil are all after Fin & The Ducks, who makes it out of here with the HPW World Trios Championships? But first! It is once again time to climb Death Mountain! Will Thunderbird be able to stay atop the summit? Or will someone bring him down and plant their own flag? This is HyruleMania 5!
HPW Death Mountain Championship Ladder Match: Thunderbird VS Ralph VS Ghirahim VS Militron VS Igos du Ikana VS Grim Creeper!
Dark Horses, Dark Forces, Faces of Evil, even an icon of Termina, they’re all battling to climb atop the mountain. Will Thunderbird survive this Six Pack Challenge? Or will there be a new champion that rises up?
Everyone has brand new gear, and clearly they’re all thinking the same with the gold and silver trim. The introductions are made, the belt is high above, and we see who reaches the peak!
The bell rings and the brawl is on! Ghirahim is after Igos, Ralph is after Militron, and Thunderbird is after Creeper! Creeper CLAWS Thunderbird’s eyes and scurries out of the ring. Militron TOSSES Ralph to a corner, runs up, but Ralph BOOTS him back. Igos and Ghirahim end up on ropes, and Igos fires off strikes! Ghirahim guards but Igos SOBATS, KICKS, then DECKS Ghirahim! Ralph runs up to go up and over and HOTSHOT Igos away! Ralph then sees Ghirahim on the outside and he CANNONBALLS him to the floor! The fans are torn but Ralph hurries to get a ladder! But he and Creeper grab the same one!
Creeper and Ralph tug-o-war over the ladder, Thunderbird runs up to baseball slide and DROPKICK the ladder into them both! The fans fire up as Thunderbird hurries to fetch that ladder for himself. Thunderbird slides the ladder in, but Militron is there to step on it! Thunderbird runs up to throw hands but Militron ROCKS Thunderbird in return! Militron reels Thunderbird in, but Thunderbird fights the lift! Thunderbird throws down elbows, then runs, but Militron BACKDROPS Thunderbird, onto the ladder! Fans lose their minds already while Thunderbird writhes and flounders out of the ring!
Militron takes the ladder, stands it up, but Ghirahim slides into the ring. They stare down, given the Dark Forces and Faces of Evil are both under Ganon now. But will the truce hold against a singles title? Igos returns so Ghirahim goes after him! Ghirahim CLUBS Igos, then Militron puts his ladder in a corner. Militron calls to Ghirahim, Ghirahim whips Igos that way, but Igos reverses! Ghirahim and Militron stop from colliding, and Ghirahim turns around, but into a ROUNDHOUSE from Igos! Militron storms up but Igos mule kicks, then fires more shots. Igos BOOTS Militron into the ladder, and Creeper runs up!
Igos dodges, Creeper back body blocks Militron into the ladder! Creeper kicks but Igos blocks, and Igos DRAGON SCREWS him! Creeper tumbles away, Ralph returns to tilt-o-whirl DDT Igos! Ralph shoves Militron out of the ring to get the ladder, and he brings it to center to stand up. The fans rally and Ralph starts climbing, but Thunderbird gets in. Thunderbird goes up the other side! Ralph hurries to keep up, and while Thunderbird reaches out for the belt, Ralph throws body shots! The fans duel, Ralph throws more hands, but Thunderbird hits back. Militron and Ghirahim both drag Thunderbird and Ralph down!
Militron HEADBUTTS Thunderbird while Ghirahim DECKS Ralph. Ghirahim and Militron go to the ladder, but they again stare down. Ghirahim and Militron hesitate, and Ralph and Thunderbird get back up! They each SMACK Militron and Ghirahim off the rungs! Ralph TOSSES Ghirahim up and out, Thunderbird POSTS Militron! Thunderbird and Ralph go back to the ladder, but spot each other. They move the ladder aside and start throwing hands! The fans fire up and Thunderbird gets the edge. Thunderbird whips Ralph to ropes, but Ralph ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl, but Thunderbird handsprings through the DDT!?
The fans fire up while Ralph is shocked, and Ralph runs up, only for Thunderbird to toss him out! Ralph lands safe on the apron, but Thunderbird DROPKICKS him down! Thunderbird builds speed, but Ghirahim trips him! Ghirahim drags Thunderbird out and throws him into a ladder that’s just on standby! Ghirahim goes back to the ring, but Militron’s already moving the ladder back to center. Ghirahim says good job and he starts climbing! Militron is confused and upset as he goes around to that side. Militron brings Ghirahim down and shoves him. Ghirahim is mad now, and he shoves Militron back!
Ghirahim says they’re on the same team, it doesn’t matter who climbs up to get the belt! Then it shouldn’t matter that it’s Militron! He shoves Ghirahim aside and goes up the ladder! Ghirahim CHOPS Militron in the back of the leg! Militron hops down and hobbles, and Ghirahim CHOPS him again! Militron seethes and he grabs Ghirahim with both hands! Ghirahim fights free of the lift and kicks Militron’s leg out! Ghirahim then reels him in for a BASEMENT DDT! Ghirahim goes to the ladder, but Creeper is back and he has a chair! Creeper SMACKS Ghirahim right on the back! Ghirahim slumps against the ladder, only for Creeper to SMACK him again!
Ghirahim falls back and Creeper kicks him out of the ring. Creeper looks up the ladder, but Ralph gets behind Creeper for a SAIDO! Igos PENALTY KICKS Ralph! Thunderbird is back and he drags the ladder down! Thunderbird ROCKS Igos, Igos KICKS Thunderbird! Thunderbird ROCKS Igos again, Igos KICKS Thunderbird again! And KICKS! KICKS! IKANA RUSH misses the knee strike! Thunderbird ENZIGIRIS! Thunderbird goes back for the ladder, but Creeper returns with another ladder! Creeper JAMS Thunderbird up and Thunderbird goes to a corner. Creeper traps Thunderbird in the corner by putting the ladder in the ropes!
Creeper pushes the ladder into Thunderbird to squeeze him! The fans boo and Thunderbird grabs at Creeper, but Creeper backs off and DROPKICKS the ladder into Thunderbird! Creeper laughs, but then Militron picks him up to SLAM onto the ladder! Thunderbird laughs at Creeper now, but Militron pushes the ladder into him! Thunderbird can only endure being squeezed, and then Militron brings the ladder back, Creeper still on it. Militron drags Creeper off the ladder, and he FALL AWAY SLAMS him! Creeper tumbles away, having narrowly missed the downed ladder. Militron brings that ladder back up and positions it just right.
Militron reaches under the ladder in the corner and gets Thunderbird’s legs! CATAPULT into the ladder! Fans all wince seeing that while Thunderbird sputters and flops out of the ring. Militron goes to the main ladder, but it seems to be a bit wobbly now. Militorn repositions the ladder in the corner to be a bridge between corner and main ladder as a stabilizer. The fans boo while Militron goes to the other side to climb. The fans boo more as he continues up rung by rung, but Ralph is at the corner! Ralph carefully walks on the ladder bridge, and he makes it to the main ladder! The fans cheer but Militron spots Ralph through the rungs!
Militron grabs at Ralph to stop him, but Ralph grabs Militron’s arm in return! Ralph YANKS Militron into the rungs, then YANKS him in again! The fans fire up while Militron sputters, and Ralph continues climbing. Thunderbird returns and sneaks up behind Militron! Thunderbird GERMAN SUPLEXES Militron off the ladder! Ralph holds onto the ladder as the ring shakes, and luckily it all stays up. Thunderbird hurries to climb and he catches up to Ralph! The fans fire up as Thunderbird and Ralph throw hands! Thunderbird gets the edge, ROCKS Ralph, then looks up at the belt. Thunderbird reaches for it, but Ralph throws body shots!
Ralph throws more hands and Thunderbird drops down a few rungs. Now Ralph reaches up for the title, only for Thunderbird to RISING HEADBUTT! Ralph wobbles and Thunderbird climbs up. Thunderbird looks to the belt, but then to Ralph. Thunderbird brings Ralph in to SUNSET FLIP POWERBOMB him onto the ladder bridge!! Fans lose their minds while Ralph slumps off the side, and Thunderbird drags himself off the ladder bridge, clutching his tailbone. Thunderbird goes back to the main ladder, climbs up, but Creeper returns! And he’s armed with a chair! Creeper SMACKS Thunderbird on the back of the leg!
Thunderbird slumps back down the ladder, and then Creeper sets the chair down. Creeper dragon sleepers Thunderbird, for a REVERSE DDT onto the chair!! Thunderbird writhes and scrambles right out of the ring, and Creeper laughs while going to the ladder. Creeper climbs, but Militron is back! Militron drags Creeper off the ladder right into THE DEVASTATOR! HIDDEN BLADE OUTTA NOWHERE!! Ghirahim laughs at Militron, but then Igos BOOTS Ghirahim! Ghirahim stumbles about, comes back, into THE ELEGY OF EMPTINESS! Igos climbs the ladder without hesitation, and he reaches the top! Igos brings the belt down, IGOS WINS!
Winner: Igos du Ikana, by pinfall (NEW HPW Death Mountain Champion)
The Ruler of Ruin rises up, and he has a championship once again! Will Igos use Death Mountain as the new foundation to build his legacy upon? And what of Thunderbird as he now falls off the mountaintop?
Million Rupee Championship Moon Madness Match: Kevin Gibdo VS Majora!
You wanna get nuts? Let’s get nuts! To finish off this war between the Gibdo of All Gibdos with the UnderWorld Order, the Wrestling Roulette is going to work overtime! Every THREE minutes, that wheel will spin, and the conditions for victory will completely change each time! Who will find a way to win on an ever-changing landscape?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who stays sane!
The Wrestling Roulette on stage looks a bit… different from the usual. Oh, that’s right, Majora busted that one up when he announced this match. And so this seems to be a special Majora edition of the wheel. New additions include Falls Count Anywhere, Submission Match, Tables Match, and even an I Quit match! The wheel spins and round one is… FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE!
Falls Count Anywhere!
The bell rings and the two start throwing hands! The fans fire up as the two go along the ropes, into a corner, and then out of the corner. Kevin gets the edge, then winds up to ROCK Majora! Majora staggers to a corner, Kevin runs up, but Majora dodges! Kevin keeps from hitting buckles and he ELBOWS Majora away. Majora staggers, Kevin ROCKS him again, then wrenches and whips him into a corner. Kevin runs up to LARIAT, then he whips corner to corner to LARIAT again! Kevin scoops Majora to hit SNAKE EYES! Kevin runs side to side and he BOOTS Majora down! Majora sputters and scrambles out of the ring.
Kevin pursues and fires hands on Majora! The fans fire up as Kevin has Majora against barriers. Kevin stomps a mudhole into Majora, then digs his boots in. The fans cheer and Kevin gets space. Kevin runs back in, but Majora CLOBBERS Kevin! The fans boo but Majora drags Kevin up, SKY HIGH to the floor! Cover, TWO! Majora stomps Kevin, sees the clock is past a minute, and hurries to bring a chair over. Majora makes Kevin take a seat, then he goes up the ramp. Majora runs back down the ramp and CANNONBALL! The fans lose their minds as Majora topples Kevin and chair over! Cover, TWO!
Majora grows frustrated already, but he drags Kevin up. Majora ROCKS Kevin, Kevin staggers away, and Majora SHOVES Kevin into barriers! Kevin sputters, fans fire up, and Majora CLUBS Kevin on the back. Majora brings Kevin around and POSTS him! Majora brings Kevin around, whips, but Kevin reverses! Majora hits barriers hard! And then Kevin runs up to BOOT Majora into the timekeeper’s area! 30 seconds until the next spin, and Kevin storms his way around barriers into the timekeeper’s area. Kevin covers, the ref works to fit into the space with them, then counts, TWO!
Kevin complains but the ref says there was nothing he could do! Kevin drags Majora up, SMACKS him off the ring bell, then shoves Majora back to the ring. Kevin pushes Majora into the ring, and the fans count it down! “Three! Two! One! BRR!” The wheel spins again! And it lands on… TABLES MATCH!
Tables Match!
The fans go wild because who doesn’t love “TABLES! TABLES!” Kevin looks under the ring, and yes, he brings out a table! The fans cheer and Kevin slides the table into the ring. Kevin props the table up in a corner, then goes to Majora. Majora fireman’s carries! The fans freak out but Kevin slips free! Kevin shoves Majora at the table but Majora stops himself. Majora turns around but Kevin BOOTS him down! Kevin drags Majora up, takes aim at the table, but Majora throws body shots! Majora HEADBUTTS Kevin, Kevin staggers to a corner, and Majora goes to that table in the corner to bring it out.
Majora makes the table stand up, and he positions it near another corner. Majora storms over to Kevin to kick him, CLUB him, and headlock. Majora brings Kevin over to the table, SMACKS him off it, then pushes him onto the table. Majora goes around the outside, climbs up the corner, but Kevin gets off the table! Kevin goes after Majora up top with fast hands! Kevin brings Majora up, but Majora fights the suplex with body shots! Majora HEADBUTTS Kevin, Kevin steps down, but then Kevin ROCKS Majora! Majora slumps off the corner and to the apron. Kevin pushes the table over, which disappoints the fans.
Kevin brings the table around to stand it at center, which the fans cheer. Kevin drags Majora up from the apron, but Majora fights the suplex again! Majora HOTSHOTS Kevin and Kevin staggers away. Majora slides in, runs up on Kevin, but Kevin drop toeholds Majora into the table! Majora SMACKS off the table, but it doesn’t break! The table just falls over with Majora instead! The fans boo while Majora sits up in a daze. We’re at 30 seconds before another spin and Kevin hurries to set the table back up. Kevin drags Majora up, but Majora pushes Kevin away and scrambles for ropes. Kevin grabs at Majora, brings him around, but Majora ROCKS Kevin!
Majora staggers back to lean against ropes while Kevin staggers to the far side. The countdown is back, “Three! Two! One! BRR!” The wheel spins~ again! And now we get… A BIKER’S CHAIN MATCH!
Biker’s Chain Match!
A member of the ring crew rushes out from the back, and he does his best to TOSS the biker chain into the ring! The chain lands right between Majora and Kevin! Majora and Kevin both look at the chain, and then they both rush forward! Majora grabs the chain but Kevin CLOBBERS Majora! Kevin grabs the chain and he LASHES Majora with it! And LASHES him again! And again! Majora scrambles, crawling under the table. Kevin drags Majora back by a leg, then goes to wrap the chain around Majora’s head! Majora fights against it, but Kevin kicks him in the back! Kevin then wraps the chain around and CHOKES Majora!
The fans fire up while Majora suffers the squeeze! Kevin pulls back, Majora stands up, and Majora powers Kevin back into a corner! Majora can breathe again, but then Kevin CHOKES him again! Majora flails, throws elbows and even a REAR HEADBUTT! Kevin drops the chain, Majora scoops him, and he aims for the table! RUNNING POWERSLAM through the table!!! The fans freak out, and Majora celebrates down in the wreckage! But the ref reminds Majora, the stipulation completely changed, the table isn’t a way to win anymore! Majora is immediately upset, but there’s still another minute before the next stipulation change.
Majora drags himself out of the wreckage, and he spots the biker chain. Majora crawls over to the chain, and he wraps it around his wrist. Majora takes aim while Kevin slowly rises up. Majora runs up to BIKER CHAIN PUNCH!! Kevin staggers then falls in a heap at the ropes! Majora shakes out his hand, that may have been double-edged. Majora storms over to cover, ROPEBREAK!! The fans go nuts as Kevin survives by a mere fingertip! Majora is absolutely stunned, and then he’s furious again! Majora goes back for the chain, but he still shakes out the right hand, and we’re under 20 seconds!
Majora wraps his hand again, but Kevin has slowly made it under the bottom rope! Majora hurries out the side, storms around the way, and Kevin staggers around, clearly busted open under his head bandages. Majora storms up, reels back, but Kevin gets up and under! SPINEBUSTER to the floor!! A desperate move saves Kevin, and “Three! Two! One! BRR!” The wheel spins~ again! And now we have a… Champagne Bottle Match?
Champagne Bottle Match!
The ring crew guy returns, and he puts bottles of champagne on the outside of every corner. Ring announcer Purah is then given a note to explain the rules of this match. The way to win is to first cover the opponent in champagne, then go for a pinfall or submission in the ring. Other than that, there are no rules! Kevin hobbles his way over to a corner and grabs the bottle. Kevin shakes it up, takes aim, and POP! The cork hits Majora and so does the spray of champagne! The fans have a good laugh as Majora sputters and coughs, and then Kevin SMASHES the bottle on Majora’s head!! Fans lose their minds while Kevin puts Majora in the ring.
Majora sputters, and he is busted open! Kevin storms in behind him, drags him up, and clamps on the choke grip! CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Majora survives and the fans boo, but Kevin stays cool. He looks to the corners, and Kevin storms over to one. Kevin grabs another bottle, but he’s palming it. Is he gonna smash from the start? Kevin aims as Majora stands, but then Majora drops down! Kevin sends the bottle flying and it SMASHES on the mat! Majora scrambles away but Kevin grabs at his feet! Majora reaches a corner and holds onto ropes as Kevin pulls him back. Majora reels Kevin in, to then BOOT him away!
Kevin tumbles, gets back up, and he storms back over to Majora. Majora has a champagne bottle! Majora SMASHES the bottle on Kevin’s head!! The fans go nuts again as Kevin falls over in a heap, just like with that biker chain punch! Majora seethes as he drags himself up with the ropes. Majora wants Kevin to get up, even shouts at him, and then Kevin sits up! That spooks Majora while the fans are thunderous! Majora still runs up but Kevin dodges and sends Majora to ropes. Majora rebounds into a scoop and SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO! Kevin looks to the last two bottles of champagne as we hit one minute left!
Kevin goes for one corner, Majora goes for the other! They each grab a bottle, and they run up on each other! They DOUBLE BOTTLE SMASH!! Both men fall back on the mat, fans lose their minds once more, and now the wheel spins~ again! And it lands on… LAST MAN STANDING!
Last Man Standing Match!
Well, wait, both men are down from getting hit with the bottles! The ref starts counting now! The fans rally as hard as they can for Kevin as he and Majora stir at 2. They both slowly sit up at 4, and Kevin reaches out for Majora. Majora slow rolls to the ropes, and he slips to the outside to stand at 8! Kevin stands up shortly after, wobbles and hobbles over, and he reaches through ropes to grab Majora by the head! Majora flails and fights free to then ROCK Kevin! Kevin staggers away, Majora hurries back inside, and he runs up to TORPEDO MAJORA!! The fans boo while Majora shouts for a count!
The ref counts and Majora makes sure he’s up on his feet using a corner. Kevin is still down as we reach 5 of 10! Majora shouts to go faster but the ref stays on pace, 6! Kevin sputters and rises up, 7! The bloody forehead has soaked the bandages red, but Kevin is still on his feet by 9! Majora shouts and runs up, TORPEDO MAJORA AGAIN!! Both men are down again while fans boo as hard as they can! Majora rises with a wild look in his eyes and he flounders to the ropes. Majora shouts for the count, which does start, and fans rally for Kevin again. Kevin is still down at 5, but Majora complains the count needs to be faster!
Majora points to the clock. Ten seconds have already gone away, why hasn’t it been a ten count yet?! The ref tells him to stop complaining! The count is 6 of 10 as Kevin slowly sits up. Kevin reaches out for ropes in a daze, but he manages to stand at 8, only to stumble and flop near a corner. The ref starts a new count, Majora gets upset, because the clock is ticking! Majora storms over to Kevin, drags him up before the count’s even 5 of 10, and he puts Kevin in the ropes! DRAPING DDT! The clock is at 20 seconds while the fans lose their minds, and Majora shouts for the count! The ref starts, and it is truly a race against time!
Majora watches time tick away and he pounds the mat while shouting, “C’mon! C’mon! C’MON!” The count is 5 of 10, but we’re at 10 seconds! Majora is losing his cool as Kevin stirs and sputters at 7 of 10, and he starts to sit up! Majora shouts, “C’MON!!” Kevin drags himself up with the ropes, and he stands at 9! Majora runs up, but Kevin DUMPS him out to the floor! And the wheel spins~ again! CASKET MATCH!!
Casket Match!
The fans fire up seeing that result, and while it’s hard to see Kevin’s mouth, it is clear Kevin is smiling a sinister smile! More members of the ring crew hurry to wheel a casket out to ringside while Kevin goes out after Majora. Kevin drags Majora up, and he uses a headlock to bring Majora around the way. The casket is parked right by the ring at the ramp side, and the crew opens the lid. Kevin brings Majora over, but Majora throws body shots! Majora CLAWS Kevin’s eyes and the fans boo, but then Majora POSTS Kevin! Kevin slumps against the post, sputters and coughs, but Majora stands him up to POST him again!
Kevin slumps off post and against apron, and Majora drags him over to the casket. Majora shoves Kevin up against the casket, then struggles to lift the rest of him. Kevin kicks Majora away, the casket slides and Kevin goes stumbling back with it as it does. Majora grabs a chair, storms up on Kevin, but Kevin moves, so chair hits casket! Majora drops the chair from the recoil, and then Kevin choke grips him! CHOKE- NO, Majora breaks free, and he ROCKS Kevin with a big right! Majora shoves Kevin into the side of the casket again, and then he SLAMS the lid on Kevin! Kevin is like a walnut by a nut cracker!
Fans boo while Majora presses down on the lid to squeeze Kevin! Majora then opens the lid again, and he pushes Kevin inside. Majora grabs the lid, but Kevin grabs Majora! Kevin sits up as he squeezes Majora’s neck! Majora flails, clubs at Kevin’s arm but Kevin won’t let go! Kevin climbs out of the casket, and he CHOKE SLAMS Majora into the casket! Wait, who’s this jumping over the barriers? It’s another Gibdo! Is uWo really pulling this trick again? But then this Gibdo THROWS FIRE in Kevin’s face!! Kevin flails in pain and panic, and the Gibdo pulls their bandages away to reveal SCALDERA!!
Majora is out of the casket, and he pops Kevin up for an APRON POWERBOMB!! Kevin writhes, but Majora scoops and POWERSLAMS him into the casket!! Majora and Scaldera both slam the lid shut!! MAJORA WINS!!
Winner: Majora (NEW Million Rupee Champion)
Scaldera and Majora both laugh maniacally, having screwed Kevin over together! Scaldera shouts, “How does it feel? How does it feel?!” The proverbial tables have turned as now Kevin is stuck in a casket like Scaldera was back when he was “Alex Gibdo.” But wait, now Majora and Scaldera are taking the casket somewhere? They’re going on stage with it, and out comes Hollywood ReDead! ReDead knocks on the casket and asks if Kevin can hear him in there. That’s when ReDead reveals he has an AX?! ReDead taps the casket with the ax and asks if “Kev” can hear him! ReDead says it’s time to “cut ties” with him once and for all!
ReDead starts chopping at the casket with the ax!! Fans freak out as ReDead starts chipping away at the thing! Kevin can’t get out should that blade get him! But then Scaldera brings out a tank of gasoline?! The ref reprimands but Majora tells him to back off! Scaldera pours the gasoline all over the casket! Fans boo, shout, scream, but that’s a lot of gasoline! Scaldera empties the whole can as he tells Kevin he’s gonna burn! Scaldera uses his own fire power to ignite the gasoline!! The casket goes up in flames!! The uWo all laughs like the evil psychos they are! Fans are freaking out as Kevin could be burning, well, undead?!
HPW crew hurries out with fire extinguishers! They hit the casket with everything they’ve got! Is it in time?! The casket is falling away already! Fans are freaking out but the flames are dying down. The crew hurries to get Kevin out of what’s left but… Where is he? Where’d he go? There should be something left but it’s just the casket! Even the uWo is confused! What happened to Kevin!? Will the uWo have to answer for their crimes?
Ghirahim and Militron argue backstage.
They’re angry with each other over the loss in the ladder match, but then Ganon storms his way over. Ganon asks,
“What in the wide world of sports was that crap!?” The two try to explain but Ganon tells them to shut up, he was being rhetorical! It was them being idiots instead of champions! Ghirahim doesn’t understand why Ganon needed to bring in the “rejects” but Ganon tells him not to dare question what Ganon does. Their purpose is to win championships so they can run HPW. That means getting past their egos and working together. And that includes later tonight, got it?
Ganon leaves, still having to prepare for the HPW Triforce World Championship match. Is that what he’s referring to by “later tonight?”
HPW Termina Championship Open Challenge: Osphala VS ???
The Gleaming Yellow Light returned at Treasure Island under an Open Challenge, so now he’s going to defend this title under the same circumstances! Will Osphala become a great Termina Champion this second time around? Or will he regret gambling with his gold?
Who answered the call of this Open Challenge? It’s… TORBEVITO! The Son of the Whirlpool is here, but will he take this title for Arrow Club? The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and let’s see who shines brightest at the end of the year!
The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. Torbevito and Osphala feel things out, then Osphala shoots around to a waistlock. Osphala SLAMS Torbevito down, floats to facelock, but Torbevito fights up. Osphala drags Torbevito up and over, lateral press, TWO! Osphala keeps on Torbevito with a headlock, hits a takeover, but Torbevito headscissors. Osphala kips free, roles reverse as Torbevito hits a headlock takeover, and Osphala headscissors. Torbevito kips up, Osphala headlocks again but Torbevito hurries to power up and out. Osphala comes back, Torbevito drops down then hurdles, but Osphala catches him!
Osphala hits an atomic drop, waistlocks again, but Torbevito fights the lift. Torbevito drop toeholds, gets the legs, but Osphala kicks him away! The two back off and the fans cheer this opening exchange. The two reset, feel things out, and knuckle lock. Torbevito kicks one apart to wrench the other, but Osphala spins, slips through, wrenches and hammerlocks. Osphala spins Torbevito around to cravat, snapmare, and then chinlock. Torbevito drops, slips out the back, goes for the headlock, but Osphala slips out the back. Torbevito ducks a Penalty Kick, rolls Osphala up, but Osphala rolls through! Osphala blocks a mule kick!
Osphala stands, DRAGON SCREW, but Torbevito spins through! Torbevito sits on a cover, TWO, and Osphala sunset flips! TWO and both men get up fast. Torbevito KICKS Osphala’s punch away, but Osphala avoids the heel kick! Osphala BOOTS Torbevito, but Torbevito rebounds off ropes! Torbevito leaps up, but Osphala stops the DDT and throws him away! The fans cheer this newest exchange and newest standoff! Osphala nods and applauds in respect, then circles with Torbevito again. Torbevito SLAPS Osphala! Fans are torn but Osphala is pissed! Osphala swings, Torbevito bobs ‘n’ weaves, then UPPERCUTS!
Torbevito whips, Osphala reverses, Torbevito tilt-o-whirls and RANAS Osphala! Osphala tumbles out of the ring while the fans are torn, and Torbevito builds speed. Torbevito DIVES and sends Osphala into barriers! The fans fire up, Torbevito puts Osphala in the ring, hurries to get him back up, and he kicks off the ropes for the WHIRL- Whoa, whoa, they’re going around and around! Osphala stops the DDT again! And then NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! The fans cheer again while Torbevito staggers up. Osphala stalks Torbevito, then reels him, but Torbevito fights the lift!
Torbevito throws down elbow after elbow, then runs. Osphala sidesteps and reels Torbevito back in, O’Conner Roll! TWO and Torbevito rolls back into an O’Conner Roll! TWO and Osphala rolls back! TWO and they O’Conner roll, roll, roll! The fans cheer as they just keep going around and around while rolling backwards! Osphala ends up on top, with a bridge! TWO!! The fans fire up again as Torbevito narrowly escapes! Torbevito staggers around, Osphala runs up and clinches. They go to ropes and Osphala uses that to rebound and BELLY2BELLY! Torbevito tumbles, Osphala hurries after, but Torbevito rolls out of the ring!
The fans are torn but Osphala is frustrated. Osphala hurries out after Torbevito to drag him up, but Torbevito RAMS Osphala into steel steps! The fans are still torn while Torbevito gets space. Torbevito runs up and DROPKICKS Osppala against the steps! Osphala coughs and sputters while Torbevito kips up real smooth. Torbevito drags Osphala up, puts him in the ring, then aims from the apron. Osphala stands and Torbevito springboards, FLYING LARIAT! Torbevito fires up while the fans continue to duel, “Torbevito!” “TORBE SUCKS!” Torbevito waits as Osphala rises up, then jumps, SATELLITE DDT!
Fans chant “You Still Suck! You Still Suck!” but Torbevito soaks it up while he flexes and covers, TWO! Many fans shout “HA HA! HA HA!” at Torbevito but he tells them to shut up. Torbevito SLAPS Osphala while he’s down, then eggs him on. Osphala turns over, and Torbevito SLAPS him on the back of the head! The fans do boo but Torbevito kicks and stomps Osphala. Osphala crawls to ropes but Torbevito follows. Torbevito stands on Osphala, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Torbevito steps off at 4. Torbevito eggs on “Glittery Yellow Idiot,” then kicks him to a corner. Torbevito digs his boots in and the ref reprimands.
Torbevito lets off, then drags Osphala up. Torbevito CHOPS Osphala, and fans “WOO~” as that echoes out. Torbevito CHOPS again, and again, and again! Osphala turns things around and he CHOPS Torbevito! And forearm! And CHOP! Forearm, CHOP, forearm, CHOP, then forearm after forearm after forearm! Fans fire up with Osphala, and he ROCKS Torbevito! Torbevito sputters against ropes, Osphala brings him around, but Torbevito grabs the ropes. The ref counts the break, Osphala lets go at 4, and Torbevito mule kicks! Torbevito then springboards to FLYING SUNSET FLIP! Cover, TWO! Both men stand up, and DOUBLE LARIAT!
Both men stay up and the fans fire up! They run up again, DOUBLE LARIAT! Both men stagger but stay up, and the fans fire up even more! Osphala and Torbevito both get mad, and they run up to DOUBLE LARIAT! Torbevito falls but Osphala stays standing! The fans rally up as Osphala drags Torbevito up and reels him in. Osphala cross the arms for the SAND- NO, Torbevito fights that off! Torbevito wrenches out, knuckle locks, and CHOPS! Torbevito goes to a corner, goes up and up, jumps around, then jumps to WHIRLPOOL DDT!! Fans go nuts, Torbevito hurries to cover, TWO!?! Torbevito is the most shocked of all that Osphala survives!
Torbevito stands up and he stomps away on Osphala at the ropes. The ref reprimands, counts, but Torbevito keeps stomping! The ref gets in between Torbevito and Osphala and pushes him away. Torbevito argues with the ref, but wait, someone jumps the railing! They’re wearing a hoodie but they appear to be Zora. They sucker punch Osphala at the ropes!! The fans boo but this person ducks down to hide under the apron! Wait, is that Torbellino Senior? Torbevito drags Osphala to a cover, TWO!!! Osphala survives and shocks everyone again! Torbevito is furious with the ref, and even Senior stands up in protest!
The ref spots Senior and asks when he got here. Senior says, “W-What?” The ref argues with Senior now about sneaking out to ringside, but Torbevito aims at Osphala. LOW- NO!! Osphala blocks the kick! Osphala glares at Torbevito while Torbevito apologizes. Osphala throws Torbevito down by that leg! Torbevito smacks off the mat, then Osphala deadlift GERMAN SUPLEXES! The fans fire up while Torbevito flounders around, and Osphala brings him up and in! SAND ROD!! Cover, Osphala wins!
Winner: Osphala, by pinfall (still HPW Termina Champion)
Father and son fail to screw over Osphala, no gold for them! Will the Gleaming Yellow Light shine all through the New Year?
HPW Goddess Championship: Ladrona VS Ruto!
These two sure made a hot mess out of high-class restaurant, Conundrum, and now they might tear it all down here tonight! Will the Thief Girl “steal” away a win and escape into the New Year? Or will the Zora Princess bring this gold back to Arrow Club?
Ruto really brings out the glamour for this entrance as she wears a glittering silver gown with a long train on the skirt, which is kept off the ground by attendants. Ruto walks up special steps just for her to go up to the apron, and then the train of the dress detaches to float away. Ladrona’s entrance has the lights go down, and then there’s glowsticks and LEDs lighting up. The band, Lifeless Tuesday, is here to play Ladrona’s theme live! And then Ladrona walks out in her own LED jacket! Ladrona rocks out with Ron Glynn on guitar before continuing down the ramp. Fans are already chanting “Ladrona Rocks!” as she steps in the ring.
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see just how cold revenge can be served!
The bell rings and the fans rally as the two stare down. Ruto and Ladrona slowly circle, then approach. They feel things out, but then Ruto SLAPS Ladrona! Fans go nuts and Ruto storms up to fire furious fists! Referee Maron Ron Ron reprimands as Ruto keeps after Ladrona in the corner! Ruto stops at 4 to storm around and seethe. Then Ruto storms up, only for Ladrona to THESZ PRESS! Ladrona DRIBBLES Ruto off the mat! The fans fire up but Maron reprimands. Ladrona stops to go for an arm, but Ruto scrambles to a ROPEBREAK! Maron counts, Ladrona lets go, and Ruto goes to the apron to compose herself.
The fans rally while Ruto steps back in and resets with Ladrona. Ladrona storms up but Ruto goes to a corner. Maron steps in between them while Ruto shouts for Ladrona to back off. Ladrona seethes but she steps back, not looking away from Ruto. Ruto slowly exits the corner, but then she bails out as Ladrona storms back up! The fans boo and Ladrona gets mad. Ladrona grabs at Ruto through the ropes, but Ruto grabs Ladrona’s left arm! Ruto SWINGS Ladrona’s left arm into the POST! Maron reprimands Ruto while Ladrona staggers away, clutching her wrist. Ruto slides in and stalks Ladrona, then she grabs at the bad hand!
Ladrona tries to get away but Ruto kicks her low. Ruto grabs the bad hand and puts it on the mat to stand on! Ladrona shouts in pain and Maron reprimands, but Ruto steps off while “apologizing.” But then she STOMPS Ladrona’s hand! Ladrona scrambles away while crying in pain but Ruto just shrugs. Ruto storms up on Larona in the corner, but Ladrona kicks at her from below. Ruto grabs a foot, drags Ladrona by it, and she KICKS Ladrona in the back of the leg! Ladrona crawls but Ruto slides out of the ring to then grab Ladrona’s bad hand! Ruto pulls on Ladrona’s arm and then KICKS it!
Ladrona scrambles and flounders while fans boo, but Ruto soaks it up. Ruto takes her time stepping back into the ring, then she stalks Ladrona. Ruto drops an elbow on Ladrona’s back, then she goes for the bad hand! FUJIWARA ARMBAR! Ladrona endures but Ruto bends the fingers! Ladrona shouts in pain, but she fights and rolls Ruto up, TWO! Ruto storms up again but Ladrona ROCKS her with a right hand! Ruto wobbles and drops to a knee, and Ladrona clamps on with a SLEEPER! The fans fire up while Ladrona squeezes tight, but Ruto pries at the hold. Ruto grabs the bad hand and pulls on it!
Ladrona shouts in pain while she drops the sleeper, and Ruto bends the fingers! Ruto wrangles Ladrona, then puts the hand back on the mat. Ruto stands on the arm, then STOMPS the hand again and again and again! Fans boo, some even wince, and even commentary is feeling the pain. Ruto stops stomping to then grab the arm, and she turns Ladrona over for a top keylock, and she bends the fingers again! The fans boo, but Ladrona kicks around while she endures. Ladrona reaches out with feet, but Ruto drags Ladrona to center! Ruto goes back to the top wristlock, but adds a stretch variation! THE FLOOD GATES!
The fans rally as Ladrona endures all over again! Ladrona claws at the mat with her free hand, fights forward, reaches out, but Ruto pulls way back! Ladrona shouts in pain but she refuses to give in! Ladrona manages to grab Ruto’s leg and pulls it out from under her! Ruto falls over and lets go of Ladrona’s bad arm! Ladrona scrambles and throws down HAMMER FISTS on Ruto! The fans fire up, but Ruto just grabs that arm and drags Ladrona down! FUJIWARA ARMBAR! This is Ladrona’s good arm but that hold still hurts! Ladrona reaches out with the bad arm, but Ruto grabs at it! Ruto bends fingers in order to get the RINGS OF SATURN!
Ladrona endures, fans rally up, and Ladrona kicks her way around. Ladrona reaches, reaches, reaches, ROPEBREAK!! The fans are thunderous as Ladrona survives by a tip toe! But Ruto holds on! The fans boo, Maron reprimands and counts, and Ruto holds until 4.5! Ruto is seething, but she looms over Ladrona. Ladrona sits up on her knees, clutching the bad arm, and Ruto goes right for it. Ladrona scrambles to fight Ruto off, and she kicks Ruto’s legs out. Ladrona scrambles backwards to a corner while Ruto hobbles after her. Ladrona kicks at Ruto but Ruto grabs Ladrona’s legs. Ruto pulls on Ladrona but Ladrona grabs a buckle pad!
The fans rally and Maron reprimands as Ladrona holds onto the buckle pad! Ruto pulls and pulls, shifting to a waistlock. The buckle pad rips away and Ruto hits a GERMAN SUPLEX! Ruto crawls over to Ladrona, covers, TWO! The fans rally even harder while Ruto grows frustrated. Ruto drags Ladrona up, goes for the bad hand again, but Ladrona scoops Ruto! MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Ruto survives that sudden turnaround but the fans continue to rally for Ladrona. Ladrona crawls back to the corner, grimacing and in tears from the pain in her hand. Ruto rises, and she scowls as she looks for Ladrona.
Ruto spots her, and she immediately runs in! But Ladrona kicks the legs out again and Ruto hits that exposed middle buckle! Ruto falls back in a daze, and Ladrona hurries to drag Ruto back up. Ladrona hammerlocks then gets under Ruto’s other arm, and shakes out her bad hand, to LARIAT!! Cover, LADRONA WINS!
Winner: Ladrona, by pinfall (still HPW Goddess Champion)
The Thief Girl upgraded from Pickpocket to full on Jewel Heist! And with it, she keeps the gold around her waist! Will no one ever take this treasure away from Ladrona? What is the Zora Princess to do now without a crown?
HPW World Trios Championships Triple Threat: Arrow Club VS The Dark Forces VS The Faces of Evil!
Fin Balure & The Young Ducks are surrounded on all sides. In Ganon’s desire for domination, he is sending everything he has against the Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla! However, the Dark Forces OGs like Volga & Wizzro aren’t exactly getting along with Harlequin, Lupay & Glutko. Will Fin, Mack & Rick use that dysfunction to survive? Or will they lose these titles one way or another?
The Dark Forces jump out from under a trap door and get some pyro to go with it. Zant’s the most fired up for it, too. But their song gets cut off by the Faces of Evil making their entrance. Harlequin tries to be buddy-buddy with the Dark Forces but only Zant high-fives him. The six of them go to the ring together so you might as well call this a 6v3 Handicap Match. As for Arrow Club, they have shining gold gear with black trim to match the belts. They also bring the weapons of their people: bow ‘n’ arrow for Mack & Rick, and a long spear for Fin. Those are just props, though. Fin points at the ring with the spear, and the Ducks “shoot arrows” for pyro to go off!
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if Arrow Club’s fortunes change!
In this kind of Triple Threat, each trio will have one person be legal, and they can only tag out to their own trio. Mack starts against Wizzro and Glutko and the bell rings. The fans rally up for Arrow Club as Mack is wary of both opponents. Wizzro runs up but Mack dodges and he fires hands on Glutko! The fans fire up but Glutko SHOVES Mack down. Wizzro jumps on Mack to CLUB away on him, but Mack shoves Wizzro into the Arrow Club corner. Rick and Fin trap Wizzro to mug him! The ref reprimands, Mack baits Glutko in and sends him into Wizzro! Mack DROPKICKS Glutko to send him back into Wizzro!
Wizzro sits down in the corner, Mack RAMS Glutko back in, making Glutko give Wizzro a stink face! Arrow Club mugs Glutko! The ref reprimands but the fans fire up! Mack tags Rick and they bring Glutko out of the corner. They go to double suplex, but Glutko is too big! Glutko then DOUBLE- NO, The Ducks fight off the double suplex, kick low, then reel Glutko in for a DOUBLE DDT! Rick covers Glutko, TWO! Wizzro tags in Volga and Volga runs up on Rick. Volga CLOBBERS Rick, CLOBBERS him again, and fans are a bit torn. Volga kicks, Rick blocks, but not the DRAGON WHIP! Volga covers, TWO!
Volga drags Rick into a chinlock, and Glutko stands up to stomp Rick in the stomach. The fans boo but Volga drags Rick up. Volga whips Rick to the Faces of Evil corner, Glutko runs in and SPLASHES! Tag to Harlequin, he and Glutko mug Rick, then they feed Rick to Volga for an arm-drag! Volga has the armlock, Glutko BLASTS the Arrow Club corner! The ref reprimands while Glutko steps outside. Harlequin taunts Rick, then stomps him in the stomach. The fans boo more but Volga drags Rick up for him and Harlequin to double whip. Rick KICKS Harlequin out of the backdrop! Volga takes a swing but Rick dodges!
Rick turns around to ROUNDHOUSE Volga! SOBAT for Harlequin! BACK ELBOW for Volga! SPINNING ROUNDHOUSE on Harlequin! Harlequin and Volga end up in corners so Rick runs up, SHINING WIZARD on Volga! Harlequin runs corner to corner, but into Rick’s BULLDOG DROPKICK COMBO! Cover on Harlequin, TWO! Rick hurries to cover Volga, TWO! Rick calls to Mack, and he drags Volga over to the Arrow Club corner. Mack tags in and they stomp away on Volga. Harlequin storms over, but the Ducks double drop toehold him into Volga’s dragon balls! The fans laugh while Volga doubles over.
The Ducks then drag Harlequin back, and they each have a leg for a DOUBLE HALF CRAB! So technically, a full Sand Crab? The fans cheer, Harlequin endures, but the ref reprimands Rick. The ref says the submission won’t count while Rick is holding on, so Rick lets go, to then BLAST the Dark Forces corner. The ref reprimands more but then Lupay storms in and BOOTS Mack! The ref reprimands Lupay now, but Mack gets up to throw hands on Lupay! The fans fire up but the ref reprimands more, and now Rick goes after Lupay, too! Glutko storms in and HEADBUTTS Rick! The fans boo and the ref keeps on reprimanding!
Fin is back and he runs up to fire shots on Glutko! Harlequin is up, he goes after Fin, the ref is desperately trying to calm this all down, but now the Dark Forces jump in! Volga goes after Rick, Wizzro’s after Mack and Zant is after Fin! The Dark Forces and Faces of Evil keep up the 2v1 muggings in three of the four corners! Zant and Harlequin double whip Fin corner to corner, then Zant whips Harlequin in and he RAMS Fin! Zant runs up to add a GAMANGIRI! Glutko and Wizzro each whip The Ducks, but the Ducks dosido! But then Volga and Lupay each block superkicks! They hand those off to Glutko and Wizzro so they can KICK the Ducks in the legs!
The Ducks hobble, Glutko fireman’s carries Mack and then scoops Rick! Glutko aims and FALL AWAY SLAM GORON DROP COMBOS! The fans boo while Rick tumbles towards the corner with Fin, and Mack follows after. Glutko whips Harlequin in so he can SPLASH all three! Then he whips Lupay in to SPLASH all three! Then Zant gets to SPLASH all three! Then Glutko SPLASHES all three!! Arrow Club sputters, falls, and flops out of the ring! The fans boo as hard as they can, but now Faces of Evil and Dark Forces are alone with each other. The ref is out of breath reprimanding, he wants this back down to just the legal men!
FOE and Dark Forces agree to back down and they go to their corners. Zant tags in, and he steps up to Harlequin. Harlequin offers a handshake and Zant says sure! They shake hands and Zant says “this is going to be good, clean, professional wrestling.” They circle while fans rally for “Dark Forces! Dark Forces!” The two feel out a knuckle lock, but Harlequin asks everyone to quiet down. He and Zant reset, feel out the grapple, and they tie up collar ‘n’ elbow. Zant waistlocks, but Harlequin wrenches out. Wait, this seems like they’re going in slow motion… Zant wrenches back to a wristlock, Harlequin reaches for ropes, but Zant keeps him away.
Harlequin rolls and wrenches to a wristlock. Zant “endures,” then rolls, rolls, and rolls. Zant wrenches to a hammerlock then headlock. Fans applaud, but Harlequin wrenches out to a headlock of his own. Harlequin says, “Around the world~!” as he goes from headlock to hammerlock to headlock again. Zant throws slow-mo body shots and Harlequin jokes that it hurts. Zant “powers out,” Harlequin “runs” to “ram” Zant, and Zant “falls.” Harlequin flexes and fans applaud the good show. Things “speed” up, Zant drops down and Harlequin stops to dramatically flail his arms before “falling forward” from the trip.
Zant fires up, “runs” back in, but Harlequin “sweeps” the legs and covers, TWO! Zant “sweeps” the legs and covers, TWO! Both men roll to their feet, put up fisticuffs, and the fans applaud. Harlequin and Zant shake hands again and everyone applauds. Zant and Harlequin circle, Zant getting a stomp stomp clap going with the fans. They tie up, Zant rolls Harlequin up, with feet on the ropes! The ref sees that and stops the count. Zant apologizes to the ref, but then Harlequin rolls Zant up, holding tights! The ref sees that in time and stops the count! Harlequin lets go and asks Zant WTF! But then Zant asks Harlequin WTF! They both ask the ref WTF!
Zant shoves the ref, Harlequin shoves the ref, they pinball him around, but the ref pushes them back! He reprimands them both for their underhanded tactics! Harlequin and Zant both rush the ref, but he ducks and they collide! Fans fire up as Harlequin and Zant fall over for real! Both men hurry to their feet and argue! Harlequin says this isn’t what they agreed on but Zant says that collision hurt! Zant shoves Harlequin, Harlequin shoves back, repeat. Things get heated, but Harlequin eggs Zant on! The shoving continues, but then they both bail out! They both look under the ring, and while Zant brings out a chair, Harlequin brings out a BOKOBLIN CLUB!
The fans fire up as both men storm back into the ring! Volga & Wizzro hurry to stop Zant, Lupay & Glutko hurry to stop Harlequin, and the ref also wants them both to stop! They listen to reason, and Zant hands the chair over to the ref. The ref gets the chair out of the ring, but Harlequin SMACKS Volga with the club!! The fans boo and both Zant and Wizzro are shocked! But then Harlequin SMACKS Wizzro! The Faces of Evil stomp away on Volga & Wizzro while Zant stays completely out of the way! But then Arrow Club returns, and they have chairs! Fin & The Ducks start throwing chair shot after chair shot!
The fans are thunderous and the ref reprimands, but he can’t really do anything under Triple Threat rules! Arrow Club gets Glutko and Lupay out of the ring, and all the attention turns to Zant and Harlequin! Mack and Rick alternate as they SMACK away on Zant and Harlequin! Fin plays defense, making sure no one else can get in! The ref reprimands, so Fin and Rick stand down. Mack takes the chairs and sits them up, two chairs facing each other. Mack brings Harlequin up and reels him in, but Harlequin fights the suplex! Harlequin throws body shots, turns things around, but now Mack fights the suplex!
Mack throws body shots, gets free of the facelock, then he KICKS Harlequin! Mack makes Harlequin sit in one of the chairs, then SUPERKICKS him! Harlequin flops over but Zant storms up! Zant fires hands on Mack, then whips, but Mack reverses and reels Zant in, SPINEBUSTER! Mack then drags Zant up to SMACK him off the chair seat! Mack folds the chairs up, stacks them, then brings Zant back around, suplex onto the chairs! Zant flounders away but Harlequin runs up to sunset flip Mack! Mack rolls through but Harlequin rolls Mack, then spins for a BASEMENT ENZIGIRI! Harlequin tags Lupay in and he climbs right up!
Mack is in the drop zone and Lupay hits the HOWLING MOON~SAULT! Cover, Rick gets in to break it! The fans fire up as Rick helps Mack up, but Zant comes back. The Ducks double hip toss, handspring and DOUBLE BASEMENT DROPKICK! Glutko runs in, the Ducks dodge his double lariat to DOUBLE SUPERKICK! But Glutko stays up and roars at them! They DOUBLE SUPERKICK again! Glutko wobbles, Fin runs in and he SHOTGUNS Glutko down! Glutko flops out of the ring but Volga SLINGBLADES Mack! Wizzro jumps on Rick’s back, but Rick THROWS him off! Fin is there to get Wizzro with SLINGBLADE!
Volga and Fin run at each other, but then dodge so they can SLINGBLADE Rick and Zant! Then they run back at each other to DOUBLE LARIAT! The fans are thunderous as all six men are down around ringside! Harlequin is up first, and he has the Bokoblin Club again! Harlequin aims and he CLOBBERS Fin with it! And he CLOBBERS Rick! Mack has a chair, throws it to Harlequin, and Harlequin drops the club to catch the chair. Mack SUPERKICKS the chair into him! But Lupay SUPERKICKS Mack! Lupay covers, TWO! The fans fire up as Mack stays in this, but then Lupay TOSSES him out! Zant crawls, hot tag to Volga!
Volga rallies on Lupay with big forearms and elbows! SLING- NO, Lupay denies the slingblade and torture racks! SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Volga survives again and Lupay is furious! Lupay grabs the Bokoblin Club and aims at Volga! The fans boo, but wait, GHIRAHIM rushes out here! The fans aren’t sure what to make of this as Ghirahim stares Lupay down. Volga sits up, and is actually happy to see Ghirahim. But then HIDDEN BLADE on Volga!! Ghirahim takes Volga out with his elbow and fans are shocked!! Mack gets back up on the apron, but Lupay BLASTS him back down!
Mack staggers up, MILITRON CLOBBERS HIM! Fans are still confused by what Ghirahim did, but Lupay drags Volga up. Lupay reels Volga in, underhooks, and lifts him up, WOLF DRIVER!! Cover, FACES OF EVIL WIN!!
Winners: The Faces of Evil, by pinfall (NEW HPW World Trios Champions)
The fans boo as loud as they can, because they can’t believe Ghirahim would choose the FOE over his allies! Or, was he ever a friend to Volga? Wizzro storms in and shoves Ghirahim, demanding to know what that was about. Zant also gets back in and stands with Wizzro. However, Militron gets in, so that’s Ghirahim and four Faces of Evil standing against Wizzro, Zant, and a downed Volga. ZANT GRABS WIZZRO IN A SLEEPER!! The fans freak out as Zant smothers Wizzaro with those big sleeves and long straps of his! Wizzro flails, but he’s fading! Zant then shoves Wizzro to Militron! DEVASTATOR!!
Fans boo as hard as they can, but Zant demands the ref bring the belts! The ref reluctantly does, and Zant snatches those from him to then hand to Glutko, Lupay & Harlequin. They hold the belts up while Zant clears out Volga and Wizzro. And now, horns blow? Big war horns are being blown by big Bokoblins as they lead the way out from backstage, a procession on either side of the ramp. They also bang drums and have Bokoblin war dancers. Harlequin laughs as he leads the Faces of Evil, Ghirahim & Zant out of the ring to then meet the procession at the stage. He joins in on the dance, the belt now shining around his waist.
The war dance ends with Harlequin and the other dances pointing to the stage. The music then slowly transitions, and it’s Ganon’s theme song! The Gerudo Ace, the general of these new Dark Forces, makes his way out on stage, and his hair is glowing like fire! He has black war paint on his arms and upper body, and he wears a dark grey tunic with gold runes on the hem over his jet black ring gear. Ganon walks down the ramp, and his followers stand around him. Will Ganon soon add another championship to the collection?
Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship Triple Threat: Link VS Ganon VS Zelda!
Hyrule Pro-Wrestling has come full circle. The inaugural Triforce Tournament Finals featured these very three, and it was the Kid from Kakariko that became the Hero of Hyrule. Fast forward five years, and we end the Celebration of Greatness with these very three! Courage saw Link through then, will it see him through now? Will Power reign again? Or is it finally Wisdom’s time?
Ganon waits in the ring, and the lights go down again. Then a spotlight shines on stage from above, and standing there is a blue cloak with the hood up. Zelda lifts the hood to reveal herself, and her royal tiara! Zelda then throws the cloak away in one go, and she has turned the “customary attire” of a Hyrule Princess into a superhero spandex costume! Fans go wild for the rose gold and lavender with gold trim as Zelda struts down to the ring. This leaves Link for last, but certainly not least. Link walks out on stage, wearing a blue tunic, white pants, and then Link brings out a mask?!
Well, not a lucha mask like what his brother, Kage, wears. It’s a mask that looks like a face with red and blue war paint, as well as silver or platinum hair. Link puts the mask on, the lights start to flicker and there’s electricity surrounding him! There’s a big flash of light, and now Link has armor on his chest and fists! It’s the FIERCE DEITY! Link brings out another shoutout for HyruleMania! The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we will see who is the greatest of the greatest!
The bell rings and the three watch each other very closely as they circle. The fans are thunderous already as they approach. Ganon calls for a Test of Strength, just like he did years ago. Link and Zelda look at each other, and they double kick Ganon! The fans cheer as they double whip Ganon to ropes. Ganon breaks the double lariat to then come back and DOUBLE LARIAT! The fans boo but Ganon just soaks it up. Ganon YANKS Link right up off the mat, then pops him up, but Link throws down hands! Link then RANAS Ganon to a corner! Zelda dropkicks Link! Link tumbles out of the ring and Zelda storms up on Ganon.
Zelda fires body shots and kicks, but Ganon shoves her away. Zelda comes back but Ganon puts her on the apron. Ganon takes a swing, but into a HANGING ARMBAR! Referee Tiger Sahasrahla reprimands but that’s all he can do in a Triple Threat. Link drags Zelda off of Ganon’s arm and has her on his shoulder! Link aims, but Zelda slips free and sends Link into barriers! Zelda then KICKS Link against the barriers! And KICKS, and KICKS, and KICKS! Link just stares her down! Zelda kicks again but Link blocks! Link fireman’s carries Zelda and ROLLING BOMBOS MEDALLION! The fans fire up, but Ganon SPEARS Link through barriers!!
The fans lose their minds and even Zelda is stunned seeing that. Zelda pushes up off the ground to get to her feet, and she storms over to CLUB Ganon! The fans fire up as Zelda fires forearms and backs Ganon down. They go through the crowd as they brawl, and Link hurries after them. Ganon whips Zelda away into a trash can! Link HOOK KICKS Ganon! Ganon staggers, Link borrows a fan’s chair, and he SMACKS Ganon on the back! Link thanks the fan as he gives the chair back, and he stalks Ganon to the back row of the ground level seats. Zelda is back and she SMACKS Ganon with the trash can!
The fans fire up as Ganon staggers around more. Link CHOPS Ganon, Zelda KICKS Ganon, then Link KICKS Ganon in the back! Zelda KICKS Ganon in the chest, Link KICKS him in the back, repeat! The fans fire up as Link and Zelda pinball Ganon with KICK after KICK! Link and Zelda then count it down, “Three, two, one!” DOUBLE KICK SANDWICH! Ganon sputters while he drops to his knees. The fans fire up while Link and Zelda coordinate again. They stand Ganon up, and they tell fans to clear out! The fans hurry away from their chairs, and Link & Zelda double BOWL Ganon into the chairs! STRIKE!
The fans cheer while Link and Zelda agree to go back to the ring. They leave Ganon behind, hop the railing, and slide into the ring. The fans fire up as Zelda and Link reset and circle. They feel things out, tie up, and Zelda headlocks. Zelda hits a takeover, Link rolls her to a cover, ONE! Zelda holds on, Link fights up to his feet, and Link powers Zelda to ropes. Link powers out, Zelda ducks ‘n’ dodges, then she tilt-o-whirls, but Link blocks the DDT! Link suplexes for a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO! Link hurries to bring Zelda up, he whips her to ropes, but Zelda grabs ropes to stop! Link runs up but Zelda DUMPS him out!
Link tumbles off the apron and stumbles on the floor while Zelda goes to the apron. Zelda runs and FLYING RAN- NO! Link stops the rana, and he brings Zelda up! Zelda flails to fight the bomb, and she grabs the ropes! Zelda gets to the apron, then kicks at Link, but Link blocks. Link trips Zelda and she lands hard on the apron! Link shoves Zelda in, then hurries to put her in a drop zone. Link goes up the corner, for the ICE ARROW! Cover, TWO! Link goes right back up, to FIRE ARROW! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up as Zelda survives, but Link drags Zelda up. Link wrenches and CHOPS! The fans “WOO~” as that echoes out!
Zelda wobbles but stays on her feet. Link stands her up to CHOP again! “WOO~” and Zelda wobbles again. Link wrenches and whips, but Zelda tilt-o-whirls to DDT! They’re both down while the fans fire up! There’s an uproar in the crowd, and it’s from Ganon rising up! Ganon is furious, and he’s heading for ringside! Link and Zelda slowly sit up and see him coming. They stagger to their feet, Ganon reaches the railing, and Link goes to the ropes. Ganon storms up and Link PLANCHAS! But Ganon catches him! The fans are stunned, and Ganon brings Link over to the commentary desk! Rusl says no, he hasn’t gotten a refill yet!
Zelda KICKS Ganon in the back of the leg! Ganon falls back with Link on top of him! Link hurries to sit Ganon up and wrap him up, to then rain down elbow after elbow after elbow! Sahasrahla reprimands, this has to end in the ring! Link shifts to a motorcycle stretch, and he nods to Zelda. Zelda runs up to PENALTY KICK Ganon! Ganon sputters, Link drags him up into the ring. Link and Zelda both get in the ring, and they drag him up to then double snapmare. Link sets Ganon up in another motorcycle stretch, Zelda runs again, but Ganon bridges up to BOOT her! Ganon then arm-drags Link away!
Ganon storms up on Link in the corner and starts throwing body shots! Sahasrahla reprimands, Ganon tells him to shut his “old ass up,” and the fans boo. Link puts Ganon in the corner to CHOP! CHOP! RAPID FIRE CHOPS! The fans fire up as Link winds up to CHOP again! Ganon seethes but his chest is also stinging. Link whips, Ganon reverses, Link goes up but Ganon KICKS him out of the air! The fans boo as Ganon hurries to bring Link up, underhooks, but Link wrenches out to CHOP! Ganon snarls but he doesn’t budge! Link CHOPS again, but Ganon CHOPS Link down! Link kips right up and fans fire up!
Ganon ROCKS Link! Link SOBATS! Front KICK! Ganon turns around, Link HOOK SHOTS! Ganon staggers but he BACK ELBOWS Link in return! Link staggers back, rebounds and MASTER SWORDS! Ganon wobbles, Zelda hops, POISON-RANA! Fans go nuts, and Link runs up on Zelda. Zelda dodges, springboards to jump back and POISON-RANA Link! Zelda keeps moving, but runs into a BOOT SUPERKICK COMBO!?! The fans go nuts again, and both Link and Ganon are shocked they worked together! Then they start throwing fast hands! Link fires off a strike fest, it’s the BOLERO OF FIRE! Complete with ENZIGIRI!
Ganon wobbles, Link half nelsons, but Ganon fights the lift! Ganon swings a back elbow but Link ducks, only for Ganon to DDT! Link gets spiked! Cover, TWO! Ganon is annoyed but the fans fire up. Ganon drags Link into a corner and he stomps a mudhole in. The fans boo again, but Ganon runs corner to corner then back again, but Zelda follows! Ganon CANNONBALLS and Zelda basement DROPKICKS! A recreation from the inaugural Triforce Tournament Finals! Zelda drags Ganon back and then drops KNEES onto an arm! Ganon writhes and clutches that arm, but Zelda runs up! Ganon ducks the Shining Wizard, but Zelda hits a BOOMERANG!
The fans fire up as Zelda now borrows one of Link’s moves! Zelda then clamps onto Ganon, going for the Impa Lock! The fans fire up more but Ganon fights against the crossface and chicken wing! Zelda CLUBS Ganon on the back, and she digs her knee into the bad arm. Ganon grabs at Zelda with his free arm but she stays out of reach. Zelda turns things into a backslide, TWO! Zelda has the wristlocks! LIGHT ARROW!! Link sunset flips Zelda! High stack, TWO, but Link brings Zelda up and in, for a STYLES CLASH!! Cover, Ganon ROCKS Link in the face with a right hand! All three are down and the fans are thunderous!
“This is Awesome!” as the three stir. Link shakes out the cobwebs from that punch, and he checks his nose. No blood, and he slowly rises up. Ganon also stands, and Zelda uses ropes to help her stand up. The fans fire up again, almost a standing ovation already. Ganon rushes Link but Link dodges, and Zelda runs up on Ganon. Zelda tilt-o-whirls, Ganon stops the DDT to suplex, but Zelda shifts to STUN DOG MILLIONAIRE! Zelda holds Ganon for Link to AX and SMASH! Zelda runs while Link holds Ganon in place, and they HIGH LOW KICK COMBO!! The fans are thunderous, but both Zelda and Link cover!
Zelda and Link both let off slowly, this happened back then, too. Zelda pushes Link and takes the cover for herself! Link pushes her off! Link points at her but she slaps his finger away. “Don’t you point at me!” But he points at her again, so she again slaps his hand away. Then he points with his other finger, so she grabs it and bends it back! The fans fire up, Link rolls and wrenches Zelda using just that finger! Zelda bridges back, rolls back, and she wrenches to hammerlock! Then she shifts from hammerlock to chicken wing! Link fights the chinbar off, and then backs Zelda up! Link RAMS Zelda into a corner!
Link arm-drags Zelda way, then runs up, and she ducks the Shining Wizard, and ducks The Boomerang! Link kips up, Zelda ROUNDHOUSES him! Link wobbles, but then he PELES! Link covers, TWO, and Zelda drags Link into a TRIANGLE HOLD! The fans fire up while Link fights to stay up! Link deadlifts Zelda, but then Ganon joins in! Ganon gut wrenches Zelda so as to throw Link down! Then Ganon brings Zelda up to POWERBOMB her onto Link!! Fans lose their minds, Ganon stacks them to double cover! TWO!!! Hard to say if it was Zelda or Link but someone kicks out just in time! And Ganon is furious about it!
Ganon grabs Link by the neck, and then he grabs Zelda by the neck! He drags them both up to their feet! DOUBLE CHOKE- DDT!! The fans go nuts again from how hard that fall was! Link and Zelda sit Ganon up, DOUBLE LIGHT ARROWS!! And then Zelda hits a reverse headlock takeover on Link! BULLY CHOKE!! Fans go nuts while Link reaches out! Link fights around, moves back, and ROPEBREAK with a foot! The submission no longer counts, but Zelda doesn’t have to let go because of No Disqualifications! Link drags Zelda back and gets her in the ropes! She lets go, then BOOTS Link backwards into the commentary desk!
Rusl gets mad again as he has to get his drink to safety. Zelda storms out after Link, but he fireman’s carries her! BOMBOS MEDALLION through the desk!! The fans lose their minds again but Link leaves Zelda behind. A remake of the original Triple Threat, and Link storms up on Ganon. Ganon sits up and the fans are erupting! Ganon rises, and Link fires a forearm! Ganon is on his knees, but he laughs and taunts Link! Link throws another forearm! And another, and another! Ganon stands and he ROCKS Link with a forearm! Link seethes and he comes back with another forearm! Ganon fires back again!
The fans rally as the forearms go back and forth, harder and harder, faster and faster! Link gets an edge, but Ganon ROCKS him with just one! Ganon laughs again as he dares Link to come back. Link low kicks a leg, low kicks the other leg, then ROUNDHOUSES! SUPERKICKS! PELE! Ganon staggers, rebounds, KICK OF CALAMITY!! Both men are down, the fans are thunderous, and Ganon slowly sits up. Ganon reaches out for Link, basically flops onto the cover, ZELDA BREAKS IT! The fans are thunderous again, and they hope these three “FIGHT FOREVER! FIGHT FOREVER!” Zelda clutches her back but she still stands up.
Zelda sits Ganon up, but she doesn’t hold onto wristlocks, she holds onto his head. KNEE TO THE FACE!! Fans lose their minds over the savagery! Link sits up while Zelda slowly goes to cover, and he drags her right off of Ganon! The fans are stunned and Zelda is pissed. She kicks Link in the leg from below! Link hobbles, but he KICKS in return! Zelda kicks and BOLERO OF FI- NO, Link ducks the enzigiri! Link goes to waistlock but Zelda slides under! DREAMCAST KICK! Cover, ONE?!?! The fans go nuts as Link roars to his feet! How does he still have this much to give this late into the match!?
Link storms up on Zelda, and he takes swings, but she bobs ‘n’ weaves to dodge! HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTT! Both of them wobble, Zelda reels him in for a KNEE down low! Zelda kicks one leg, kicks the other, then grabs Link’s head! But Link rolls Zelda up! TWO, but Link deadlifts Zelda, then drops her to clinch, into the BLADERUNNER!! Cover, TWO!!! Zelda survives and fans are thunderous again, but Link doesn’t let off! He sits Zelda up using the wristlocks, but he hesitates? Zelda looks up at him, bloody nose going, and she shouts, “Do it! DO IIIT!” LIGHT ARROW!!! Cover, LINK WINS!!
Winner: Link, by pinfall (still Undisputed HPW Triforce World Champion)
Incredible! The original Triple Threat revisited, and the sequel did not disappoint! But in the end, the Hero of Hyrule still comes out on top! Link’s emotional, Zelda’s emotional, Ganon’s on the outside of the ring, down and out on the floor, and the fans are loving it! Link and Zelda sit together at the center of the ring, the belt on his shoulder but the two of them side by side while the streamers and confetti fly. Happy New Year, Hyrule! Let’s take on what 2025 has in store together!
My Thoughts:
I am truly getting this one done late at night, but I made sure to get it done. I was aiming to make this as awesome as I could, so I was very torn over a lot of the finishes and results. And none more so than that main event. A part of me wanted to find a way to finally get that world title on Zelda, but as I was going, that finish there just came out organically and I could not override that. I could not find a spot that I could detour things, and I feel so weird about it. But who knows, maybe we can find a way for Zelda to #FinishTheStory in 2025, a fresh slate for us all.
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
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For the times, they are a-changin’…
The Undisputed Triforce World Championship will be defended in a Triple Threat, featuring the three who started it all: Link, Zelda and Ganon!
Come gather ’round people, wherever you roam…
It was April 1st, 2020 that this all began, with the inaugural Triforce Tournament Finals. At the time, it was Ganondorf Dragmire VS Sheik VS Link. Through the course of that match, it was revealed that “Sheik” was Princess Zelda! Certainly a surprise, but also very controversial thing, as the match was allowed to continue. Link would ultimately come away the Hero of Hyrule, but Zelda’s participation in the match ultimately opened the door to making the Triforce Championship an Open Division title!
Since that day, Link has been a THREE TIME HPW Triforce Champion, losing to Ganon, taking it back, and going on a saga against his own brother, Kage. He even overcame a story arc against Yunobo, culminating in a Last Man Standing match in October. In the background of that, Zelda would go on to dominate as HPW Goddess Champion for two YEARS! 730 days on top, overcoming every challenger, but eventually losing to Midna in a Winner Takes All match of Goddess and Death Mountain titles. Though speaking of Death Mountain, Zelda would capture that on her own, only to lose it back to Thunderbird after.
Ganon would become a Trios World Champion and then a Termina Champion, making him HPW’s first and only TRIPLE CROWN CHAMPION! At Clash of Fates, perhaps in a twist of fate, the Hyrule Warriors match ended in a double pinfall, sending both Princess of Hyrule and Gerudo Ace to the Celebration of Greatness. The Triforce truly forms again as power, wisdom and courage meet in one match! The three greatest stars in HPW’s sky, the pillars of this company, perhaps even this industry, will all fight to prove who is truly THE reigning, defending, undisputed HPW Triforce Champion of the World! Prepare for HyruleMania FIVE!
My Thoughts:
Not as epic as I was hoping to make this, but it still feels pretty good. The flow just works and there’s nowhere to really add more to it. That said, HyruleMania 5 publishes in just 30 minutes, hope you all enjoy it!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!