Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/31/23)
Dawn of the Final Day!
It’s almost time. Will history repeat itself?
Just moments away from the Celebration of Greatness, HPW takes a look at what’s coming for the Termina and Triforce Championships!
The hands of time cannot be stopped.
Everything moves forward with time. Everything moves forward in time. Time waits for no one. And if you are not careful, if you are not prepared, if you are not aware, time leaves you behind.
“Such was the story of TCW,” Ganon says. “But c’mon, you don’t need to hear all that again, right? They were Icarus, who flew too close to the sun with wax ‘n’ paper wings, then crashed ‘n’ burned. But hey, their legacy lives on, right? HPW thought it fitting to honor TCW by granting Igos du Ikana the honor of starting the lineage of this: the Termina Championship.” Ganon shows off the belt, making sure it catches the light. “The iconic belt was basically brought back from the dead,” Ganon continues. “The only real change was adding the HPW logo to it.” Ganon points to the silver seal stamped near the top.
“With HPW establishing the Termina Championship, it even resurrected Igos’ career,” Ganon says. Ganon beat Igos to get his shot at the HPW Triforce Championship, which Ganon won. Igos then beat Ghirahim to establish the HPW Termina title, and beat Osphala at the original HyruleMania. Oh but then Igos lost in the rematch! Ganon laughs at that, and says it’s because Osphala ended up such a forgetful champion anyway. And after that, Igos floundered around. Which is also funny, because he failed to defeat Fin Balure for the title while Ganon succeeded. “Honestly, I’m not even sure why I’m accepting this challenge.
“Oh, that’s right. Igos friggin’ kicked me in the side of the head at Clash of Fates! That bag o’ bones thinks he can just pull the oldest magic trick in pro-wrestling, with the lights goin’ down, comin’ back up, and surprise~! He’s there! And then he takes a cheap shot to try and humiliate me? Well now I’m gonna humiliate him in return! I’m going to make sure his time runs out, once and for all!”
A clock ticks forward.
From the shadows, Igos du Ikana steps forward. “I’m sorry, Ganon, but I think you’re mistaken. Magic trick? Cheap shot? Humiliation? That’s not what I was doing at all. That kick at Clash of Fates was your wake-up call. I was sounding an alarm. Did you defeat Fin Balure when I could not? Yes, you did. Did you defeat the cyclops known as Hinox? Yes, you did. And did you defeat TCW legends along the way? Yes, once again, you did. But what about any of that makes you untouchable? What about that means this gets any easier? I thought you of all people knew nothing lasts forever. Not even a title reign.”
Highlights of Igos losing to Osphala and Fin intermingle with highlights of Ganon losing to Link, while that clock from earlier spins out of control. Then the voices of Igos and Ganon overlap with additional warping as they say, “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” The chaotic highlight reel ends with that Elegy of Emptiness heel kick at Clash of Fates, and then it all goes black. Then in all white, the HyruleMania logo fades into view, and there’s a digital clock counting down to the start of HyruleMania 4. Whose time runs out when the clock strikes twelve?
The video pauses, then stops.
The screen goes blue, and the sound of a VHS cassette tape being ejected can be heard. Then the sound of a cassette tape being put in, and a new video starts up. It’s a young Hylian couple in the hospital. They’re incredibly happy, tears of joy streaming down their faces. The wife just gave birth and the husband helps her hold their twin baby boys. The video then cuts to the happy couple having their boys home for the first time, putting them in their cribs. “Good night, Link,” the mother says sweetly. “Good night-” The audio gets really bad here for some reason. Then a dark filter goes over the footage as “The duality of destiny is like a razor’s edge” appears in scratchy lettering.
Then there’s cut-together pieces of HPW: Deep Dive from last year, Just Like You by Three Days Grace playing in the background. Kage’s highlight reel rise to the HPW Triforce Championship, the draw at Clash of Fates 2, the Triple Threat that helped him win the title, and then pieces from Link’s message to Kage and Kage’s response. Specifically, it lines up Link saying “as my enemy” and Kage saying, “as your enemy.” Then cut to their Blood Match for the title at Clash of Fates 3. “Seems growing up with our parents made you soft.” And then Link snaps and beats Kage down. However, Kage would score both the moral victory as well as the literal.
There’s another highlight reel bringing us to where we are now. Kage stands at 18 months and 20 days, the longest reign as HPW Triforce Champion, only trumped by Zelda’s reign as HPW Goddess Champion being a full two years. Link is the only two-time Triforce Champion, a former Mr. Eventide and a two-time Hyrule Warriors match winner. But this literal blood feud is about far more than the title. Aryll watches Link train, a look of worry on her face. Kage trains alone in solitude. We flash back to them as babies wrapped in blankets in their mother’s arms. Both men stop to catch their breath, then hydrate and cool off. They’re mirror images of each other.
They may be brothers, but that is only in DNA. There is no love lost for the men they have become. “The duality of destiny is like a razor’s edge” returns again. If that is the case, who gets cut down by the other in this fated main event battle to end the year?
My Thoughts:
This one I really like. These weren’t as lengthy as previous “Deep Dive” segments, but I feel like Ganon and Igos have the right intensity, and I like the visuals in relating Link and Kage. Now I just hope the matches live up to the hype…
About Chairshot Radio Network
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Let’s Go Crazy! Let’s Get Nuts!
HyruleMania 5 approaches, and Kevin Gibdo must defend the Million Rupee Championship against Majora, who has something “special” in mind…
The Wrestling Roulette is spinning.
The wheel sits in a dark room, and the moon is visible through a round window. Majora says, “The moon goes through phases. It shows us different faces. The tides ebb and flow, going high and low, and put us through our paces. You think you can keep gambling? You think you can keep winning? You think you can survive as the wheel keeps spinning? Then let it go round ‘n’ round, round after round, and we’ll see who falls to the ground.” The wheel stops spinning, and lands on SPINNER’S CHOICE! Majora then busts through the wheel and gets right in the camera!
“Luck? Chance? Fate? Order? Chaos? W̸͉͚̫͎͎̎͗H̵͈̼̾̈́͋̅̆O̶͕̱͌͐͆̕ ̵̼̪̔̐̿̽C̶̭̫̉͘A̵̦̔̀̊͑͘Ŗ̸̡͓̘̀Ë̶̟͍̞̗́͒̀́͘͜Ş̵͎̩̹̈́͋̚͜?! What matters is victory and defeat! Controlling what you can control! And I swear that no matter what the wheel gives us, I will take that title from you! I use Spinner’s Choice to declare… MOON MADNESS!! Every three minutes, the wheel will spin and CHANGE match! Could you imagine the possibilities?! It makes my head spin!” And then his head spins!! Majora laughs maniacally, then his head stops so that it’s sideways. “There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I’m about to cross that line, care to join me?” Majora has set the terms, will Kevin Gibdo succumb to Moon Madness?
My Thoughts:
Here I go again, trying to be really innovative and over the top. I almost thought adding stipulation on top of stipulation would work, but in many cases, there are match types that contradict each other. A peak behind the curtain of kayfabe here where I could just choose the stipulations that don’t do that, but it might also just be easier from a writing standpoint to just do away with contradictions and redundancies and just have this match constantly make left turns into new territory. Get ready for a wild ride on this one!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Entertainment
Hockey Talk- Winter (Classic) Is Coming [121724]
Hockey Talk looks at Alex Ovechkin’s recovery and when he might be back. Plus, the Winter Classic fast approaches. Is Chicago ready?
In this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys discuss Alex Ovechkin’s pending return and whether this might mean the Caps could get better than they have already been. The Winter Classic will be coming to us from Wrigley Feild on New Year’s Eve, with Patrick’s St. Louis Blues tangling with the Chicago Blackhawks. The guys take a look at this game and discuss how things have changed since Wrigley last hosted the Winter Classic in 2009. The NHL will be selecting its Quarter Century teams over the next month or so and the fellas discuss who will be shoo ins and also speculate as to some possible deep cuts for some well-known teams.
Today’s hosts are Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist).
- Alex Ovechkin creeps closer to returning
- The 2025 Winter Classis is coming
- The guys discuss who might make the cut for some Quarter Century Teams
About the Chairshot Radio Network
Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.
The Chairshot Radio Network
Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts and radio shows!
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Listen, like, subscribe, and share!
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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