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CheapShots: Predictability Can Still Be Fun

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Cheap Shots are unfiltered, uncensored opinions, and those opinions reflect only the author!

Mad Man at the controls as the number of runways on The Road to WrestleMania begins to shrink. The cheese starts to bind as a smooth intensity picks up beneath my flight path over Milwaukee. Prior to this week’s RAW, most smart marks became aware that The “Second Generation” Rowdy one had her itinerary approved for regular appearances leading to Mania. If you weren’t, thank those at Air Traffic Control in Jersey and Phoenix, among others. Quoting Sandow, “YOU’RE WELCOME!”

The fondue party starts with GM Kurt Angle comes to the ring in attempt to rectify the embarrassment of a sucker punch from The COO last week. “Come out and fight me like a man!” Cue Steph’s music. The Assistant Principal comes out to say her husband is not at the arena yet. Daddy’s Little Girl starts cutting one of her textbook promos made of half-truths and half BS. Fourth Wall Alert. Hey, Dr. Strange; if you really wanna fire the dude, look at his rap sheet. Otherwise, stay in your office. Try not to get hurt on the walk back.

Too late! Joan Jett cuts through the crowd. Guess who came to dinner? Ms. Rousey is here! She comes to the ring old-school baby face. Slapping hands with EVERYBODY on the aisle. COOL! Stephanie’s condescendence didn’t stop. Ronda asked for clarification regarding a clause in her contract stating she could choose her Mania opponent. Steph said yes, but they had to be on the active roster as an athlete. Ronda steps up weigh-in style: “Okay, I choose you!”

My money says Paul was standing in Gorilla because Triple H’s music hits. “…That’s not happening.” Kurt muses about Trips being there. The Frenchman tells him not to keep score. Steph goes Mommy Dearest on Kurt without the mic. However, Ronda insists on wire hangers, and intercepts the incoming slap. We have reached Critical Mass. Triple H fanes leaving the ring. After that, I’m pretty sure the power couple wished they were back in Stamford. Nice to see them take a squash for once.

Funniest part was watching Steph bounce MMA style after cheap-shotting Rousey. In case we forgot. Ronda Rousey is a badass. She grabs Steph by the head, pulls her into the ring FROM THE FLOOR and gives her A Samoan Drop! Hubby already took an Ankle Lock from Angle. I don’t have to tell you our Main Event for Mania is set. Best opening segment in years!

Back to our regularly scheduled Monday Night Raw. Asuka and Nia had to follow that. Have fun ladies! Neither one did. Any Nia match is incredibly physical, and The Japanese Ace is afraid of nothing. This is an explosive combination that usually ends badly for someone. This encounter was no different. Jax used her power to rag doll The Rising Sun Mystic early, including multiple near falls.

Rarely do I complain about pure physics of the art form. Here we go. Nia is roughly twice Asuka’s size and six feet tall. Yes, she has Nia’s arm constricted, but that much power and leverage should spike anyone into the mat hard enough to break any hold? No? Fine, The Immovable Object gets up again, and walks Asuka against the ropes? BREAK THE HOLD! Welcome to the friggin’ circus! Nia rolls back onto the mat and taps out. Great story-telling, as Jax may have a kayfabe broken arm. Horrible way to get there. PS: I doubt Little Miss Math Class is capable of authentic compassion. She was sympathetic to Nia only to cover her ass. “You have friends.” Fabulous sell from The Big Girl, tears included!

Something had to bring us back to Earth after such a nuclear start. Bring out The Bar. Storyline says The Celtic Warrior and Swiss Mister have no opposition for The Tag Team Gold at Mania. Enter The Revival. Dash and Dawson have a great old-school gimmick. “We’ll beat you with toughness, double-teaming and wrestling.” Sad that’s a gimmick now, but marks are sheep. Revival beat The Bar, they have a shot at Mania Gold. Except, they didn’t. What’s this? Proper stringing out of a WWE storyline? Yay, someone can think!

It’s the fourth segment, and no John Cena? Scratch that. The best promo in the modern art form comes out and tells his Fastlane opponents he was winning Gold for a 17th time at The SmackDown PPV. If he did, BMJ told AJ Styles to invoke his rematch clause at Mania, making his match with Nakamura an instant Triple-Threat. For those who say Cena is prone to heel tendencies, here is another checkmark.

God Bless Texas…It’s The Son of a Son of a Plumber, quoting a 1950s Classic?? Why the Hell not? Goldust said he would like nothing more than to steal Johnny Goodguy’s Mania spotlight. Believe it or not, the first match ever between these legends was made on the spot. Cena won in less than ten minutes. It is truly unfortunate that a long-term program was not discussed over 15 years. Would’ve been very interesting.

Lunch time recess! The Human Elmo came out to cut an in-ring promo related to her actions and the non-tag with Lady Banks last week. Promos are not Bayley’s strong suit. Cue Absolute Yawn interrupting and teasing The Hugger possibly joining the group. Save it Scream Queen, nobody would believe it. A match between Bayley and Mandy Rose began with the remaining members of Absolute Yawn at ringside. The Walking Crayola showed toughness and a tiny mean streak to beat The Pound-For-Pound Pin-Up clean. Afterward, the threesome jumped Bayley. Sasha ran down for the save, which she made. The Legit Boss then motioned for a hug, but Bayley would not oblige.

Cut to backstage, and Braun Strowman and a bright-lettered, eighties-style promo about the Symphony of Destruction Match with Elias. I can’t be the only one digging these promos? Instruments line the stage as Elias does a brilliant tweener promo. Before hitting the ring, The Guitar Man asks for the house lights to be lowered. This swerve to run to a waiting car in the parking lot ended in failure as Braun picked up the back of the car. Sometimes WWE camera work for storyline purposes is very good. All we could see at first was the driver’s seat. Back inside the building, Elias got some offense in but was overwhelmed by an upright bass and a baby grand piano. Both were gimmicked of course, but don’t poke the bear, Elias.

Hey flock, LOOK! It’s your half-assed cult leader; with no cult, beating the same enhancement talent he destroyed last week. Another art form physics observation: Bray Wyatt stares at me upside-down, I grab his beard and pull until I rip it off his face! The Rambler gets through half a promo before being cut off by the leader of The Woken Warriors. Matt Hardy challenged Wyatt to a match at The Hardy Compound. I Hope he has enough stamina to do justice to this gimmick, and Stanford isn’t biting off more than they can chew. Wouldn’t be the first time.

 

Speaking of 90% of a segment I could’ve slept through: It’s the visual Nyquil known as MIZ TV. This Oscars rip-off mocked Kurt Angle’s lack of a Mania decision surrounding The IC Gold. Can I wake up yet? Miz’s back up was in the ring as Seth Rollins and his twin with the cooler entrance came out to disrupt proceedings. The Miz was granted a 3-on-2 Handicap Match; which The Move-Set Twins won when Finn Balor hit The Coups de Gras and Rollins get the pin with a Frog Splash. The match’s conclusion saw GM Angle come out and make the obvious Triple Threat for IC Gold at Mania.

Happy Heyman ended the night of quality cheese by attempting to prop up Brock Lesnar and The WWE Universal Gold. It was a miserable failure, and dude had to know that before he went out there. Steph, don’t ash him to say The Gold is 24/7/365 if YOUR Champion is rarely on Television or Part-Time on PPV. Roman finally came out: “All the fans want is A WWE Universal Champion to show up. Tell Brock to be ready for a fight next week.” As I land this plane in fly-over country I must say RAW was a good show. At times predictability can be electric. I hope my passengers enjoyed this trip and will join me for our next departure very soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


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Cheap Shots

MadMan: She’s Handing Out Blues Better Than A Namesake Will

Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.

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Madman decided to follow his blue dragon back towards the titans! Let’s see what black magic he weaves in this edition.

I may not be in regular rotation, but when they give me a chair, I swing for my fences. As a decades-long consumer of the art, I don’t have many left. The only Home Runs WWE has placed within my scope, can be found in Women’s Division on both Monday Night Raw & SmackDown Live.

The year I began watching wrestling, some very interesting circumstances took place surrounding cable television. WTBS; (Atlanta), WAS the home of The NWA’s Jim Crockett Promotions. At least until “Black Saturday,” which ultimately saw Vinnie Jr. Hijack the famous 6:05 time slot. This nearly cause riots among cable viewers opposed to McMahon’s product and presentation.

Though the million dollar ransom The Crocketts paid to get their flagship spot back on the dial gave the head of Titan Sports the backbone to finance WrestleMania, which helped to wreck most of the territories. Hell, it can be argued somewhat convincingly upon its 30th Anniversary, Vince himself ruined his biggest display’s pristine intentions for two consecutive years with Lesnar beating the streak instead of Bray Wyatt; and, Sting losing his ONLY Mania match because someone else had the right bride on their marriage license.

Despite the objections of both smarks and sheep in certain cases, we must respect the history of this pop culture institution. IF WrestleMania is Woodstock, it is only appropriate that Tito Santana opened the show with a victory!

In recent years, there has been only one person on The Main Roster who has matched the swag of Santana’s initial accomplishment without even trying, and she wrestled in the last Mania Match I cared about. Finally got tired of giving fans The Blues. She’s ready to deal some out in the form of steel chairs and God knows what else.

“Cut Her talent LOOSE!” We kept screaming. “A REAL run with Gold, PLEASE?” Like a kid aching just before Christmas. As with Solis, she was a true pro, until the strangest thing I’ve ever seen in the modern art form washed over us.

Fans and insiders alike FORGOT about Social Media! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still here. Can’t get away from it. Hell, I’m doing a roll-in on the internet right now! If you’ve been fans of us long enough, you’ll realize that last sentence was not a botch! Seriously, this thing felt like the territories back in the day. No one knew a damn thing! Even some of those paid to know were flipping a coin every five minutes. Thanks for the constant stress, you ancient prick!

Come on folks. If you know my current wrestling HEART at all, you KNEW the last Chair Shot on her return was coming from her Super Mark in Middle America! When older dudes at this circus describe what true fandom is like; they’ll often say: “That’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, that’s bulls***, BUT THAT’S REAL!”

For her boatloads of fans and the woman herself, Christmas is here! The Stamford’s latest Blues enthusiast is very real, And WWE’s Black Magic Woman IS BACK! Line ’em up. they’re all falling. Charlotte & Ronda too. To The Man and those in charge of her Twitter Account, thanks for keeping the possibility top of mind when things first got weird. We never gave up, but you will! MISSED YOU LADY BANKS!

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

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Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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Fake News

Rob: Ronda Rousey & The Makings Of A Wrestling Newz Story

RONDA IS NEWZ!

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WWE Ronda Rousey UFC Championship

Ronda Rousey dominates headlines on the Road To WrestlMania, making her the perfect example for Rob to use for Wrestling Newz!

This is a continuation of what I started on last week in regards to wrestling media.  You might want to, in fact you should, go check that out first.  But instead of just hitting the media at large it’s time to drill down a bit and see how some of this stuff takes shape.  These stories don’t get clicked on and believed by so many people just out of whole cloth, they take weeks and months and sometimes years of narratives being laid down first in order to make the premise believable in the first place.

Remember, the three rules for publishing NEWZ stories:

  1. It’s plausible (translation: circumstances exist that make it possible, and it confirms an existing opinion)
  2. Can you walk it back easy if it ends up false (‘plans changed’)
  3. Will people click on it?  (if #1 is a yes, and the names are big enough then this is a yes, too)

A quick example that I mentioned previously was the ‘Lacey Evans getting a top level push after Ronda Rousey leaves’ story.  The story itself ended up just being Meltzer giving his opinion and not even leaked info from a source, but it relied on a long standing narrative about the WWE creative team, particularly Vince’s preferences.  Lacey is blond, and it’s been a long held belief that Vince loves his blond women so there you go (that’s not false, but there are some layers and nuances to it that we never get into).  Also, the way Lacey portrays her character (super conservative and a throwback to the Mad Men era) on social media irritates a lot of so called smart fans, which supposedly is something Vince loves doing.  That’s it.  Seriously, the plausibility of the story all lies in Lacey being blond, evoking thoughts of every blond woman Vince has pushed from Trish Stratus to Charlotte Flair and Alexa Bliss, and because she pisses off a section of Wrestling Twitter so Vince might do it just to get to us.  There is literally no other there there.

Now not all NEWZ stories end up false but even when they’re true the intent wasn’t to inform you, it was to get you to click on the link and share it (Hate shares count as much for the click numbers as love shares, btw.  Don’t help people whose work you hate by sharing it.)

Which brings us to the real subject of this piece: Ronda Rousey’s speculated departure from WWE after WrestleMania.  It has become almost gospel truth that Ronda is gone after the biggest show of the year, maybe for good, because she wants to start a family (and now also because she can’t hack it in the world of wrestling).  Meltzer has weighed in and there are multiple pieces that simply copied and pasted or transcribed his words along with dubious headlines.  Now before you say ‘yeah, she is leaving’ ask yourself where you got the idea from.  Was it from someone stating it as fact, just giving their opinion, or one of those ‘WWE is preparing for the possibility that Ronda might leave’ stories?  And how did so many of us end up thinking so quickly and strongly that come the Monday after WrestleMania 35 she’s outta here?  The story was built on a few blocks and because a big house of confirmation bias.  Here they are:

Ronda Rousey is an outsider who doesn’t really want to be here anyway

This essentially comes from Ronda being an MMA legend, which invokes bad thoughts of Brock Lesnar his big paycheck/small schedule agreement.  That’s it.  Ronda left MMA after losing and didn’t do much afterwards, and she’s made a ton of money already, so this clearly has to just be a big score…..right?  She didn’t toil in the indies, didn’t even do a stint in NXT, and since she wasn’t willing to pay her dues (that sound you just heard was me throwing up) it’s obvious that she doesn’t really care for it………sure, buddy, whatever you think.  Nevermind all the evidence we’ve seen to the contrary.

Ronda Rousey can’t handle the road

A video clip surfaced a few months back of Ronda lamenting life on the road in the WWE.  Now it probably isn’t much different from what many newbies and veterans of the business have said to their families but hey, let’s take this out for a ride because it supports point number one.

Ronda Rousey is losing at WrestleMania

We got no proof of this but we do know that the original plan was for her to face Charlotte one on one (with Charlotte probably winning), we know that Becky Lynch has become the hot act over the last six months, and we know that Ronda hasn’t lost yet so WrestleMania seems like the right time to do it.  That’s it.  I explained my rationale for each woman winning that match here, and in my opinion there’s plenty of logic for Ronda winning.  But so far a lot of us have assumed she isn’t because she just has to lose here, right?  Which leads to the next brick:

Ronda Rousey can’t take losing

She didn’t handle losing well in MMA, so she obviously isn’t going to like losing in WWE and she’ll want to take her ball and go home.  There is no evidence to back this up but it sure sounds good.

Ronda Rousey is freaking out because of the crowd noise and the Tweeting from Becky

Ronda isn’t great at promos, the crowds are booing her more now because she’s facing Becky, and she’s fired off some far out responses to Becky’s twitter jabs that suggest maybe the ribbing is getting to her.  So she must clearly be having some kind of emotional meltdown that is souring her on the world of pro wrestling.  Again we have don’t have any confirmed facts as to her true emotional state (for all we know it’s a work that’s gone a little off the rails) but it sure feels good to type that she just can’t handle the banter.


Now we have the proverbial feedback loop.  We think Ronda doesn’t love the business, she hates the road, she wants to start a family, we just know she’s losing at WrestleMania, she doesn’t handle losing well at all, and now she can’t handle the ribbing.    Each one of these things feeds into the others, and if you were a Ronda skeptic from day one or you just don’t like her for other reasons then each one of these things is very easy to believe individually, as it’s consequently very easy to put them together into one big ball of what is sure to happen.  Remember always that the way NEWZ works, be it in wrestling media, other forms of entertainment, and even politics is that they bait you with things you want to be true based on what you already have come to believe.  If you believe wrestler X is a jerk then everything that backs it up is believable no matter how flimsy the evidence.  Here we have a bunch of ‘truths’ based on little real information that feed into what a lot of people already thought, and now we have one big ‘truth’ that we just know to be true.

Of course if Ronda wins at WrestleMania, loses some time later, and sticks around for the rest of her contract then the vaunted wrestling media can just give us the tried and true explanation for everything that doesn’t pan out the way they led us to think it would:

Plans changed.

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

 MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)

WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling) 

THURSDAY - Nefarious Means

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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