Happy Halloween from Talking Smack!

Trick or Treat, isn’t this neat? The Street Profits, Rey and Dominik Mysterio, and Bayley join the show!

Sami Zayn welcomes us back!

The Great Liberator knows he’s usually the cohost, but for whatever reason, the “illustrious” Kayla Braxton couldn’t be bothered to show up. So this will be Sami’s show this week! Not a problem for him, as he displays his anchor skills without Kayla in his ear. It’ll be much better because of that, surely. So first thing’s first, what a huge night this week, and what a big week next week as we get a SmackDown Women’s Championship rematch! Sasha Banks now defends the title against Bayley, already after the Hell in a Cell. What hasn’t been said about this match? But Sami wants to talk about himself now as he will be taking on Bobby Lashley, Intercontinental VS United States Champion! Sami will represent the people of the WORLD, against Lashley and just the people of one country.

Leaving it at that, Greg Hamilton shows up? He was told Sami was hosting by himself so he came here to give a proper introduction. Well yeah but you’re a couple minutes late on that. Greg wants to just get his job done. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the Intercontinental Champion, SAMI! ZAAAYN!” The music plays for Sami and says that was really good. But wait, who is this? It’s Kayla Braxton dressed up as Sami for Halloween! “I’m sohry, I’m sohry!” Is she making fun of his accent?! “Sami” needs her special thermos water bottle, none of that processed plastic. Wait where did she get that belt? Kayla calls Sami a “fraudulent champion!” She is the undisputed Intercontinental Champion! Sami is laughing but also angry.

Is this why she was late? Yes, she was doing something “imporhtant.” But let’s get this show done, there’s this Scandinavian Ska band in town. “How dare you.” This is awful. Sami is doing his best to be professional, but this. Sami is carrying the show while she’s goofing around. But since THE Sami is the lead anchor, he brings on the first guest. Does Kayla have a lame pun for them? Well she has her gold, Sami has his fake gold, but let’s add more gold with the SmackDown Tag Team Champions!

The Street Profits join Talking Smack!

Montez Ford and Angelo Dawkins are back and saying hey to Sami and “Sami.” Sami wants them to ignore Kayla right now. Kayla says they surely appreciate her impression, they love impressions. Wow, they thought she was Sami. Isn’t she? Kayla shows up on time, Sami doesn’t! Kayla says she’s more Sami than Sami. Happy Halloween. But imitation is the greatest form of flattery. Can we just get through this?

Congratulations for the Street Profits on their win tonight- er, last night on SmackDown. Sami shouts, “AMATEUR HOUR!” This is why they have THE Sami Zayn! Whoa, calm down, Sami. We know the Dallas OL isn’t blocking for you, calm down Andy Dalton. Oh~! Kayla has to fix her Sami beard before she brings up Survivor Series. Tag champions VS tag champions, Profits VS New Day. How are you feeling? Really good, actually. Are they? Because they do know the New Day is one of the best tag teams ever, right? Yes, they are, but last time the Profits checked, they were the longest reigning Raw Tag Team Champions in the modern era? They went 200+ days without getting defeated! Sami points out it wasn’t that many defenses. That’s okay! From March to October, they Profits have been putting it down! Well now you guys need to calm down.

They can’t! This will be the biggest match in the Profits’ careers! Oh, Dawks is getting a call. Shannon Sharpe is calling! What up, Shay? Can they get some reservations for the New Day at Club Shay Shay? Hot L’s, full bottles, table service! Sami says this is precious air time, do that stuff later. Kayla says she and Sami are champions, surely they’ll be invited. And wait, what is this? Kevin Owens?! Sami is not happy about this but everyone else is. Kayla apologizes for Sami, but Sami asks Kevin what he thinks of Kayla’s costume. Well surely Sami is amused, right? What? No! He’s furious! Really? She even has the title. Sami says he needs to block her from his monitor. And why is Kevin here? To see this in person! Kayla asks Kevin if she nailed it or not. Kevin has to be honest, her mannerisms could use some work. Her hand movements need be more over the top. Oh, right, yeah! Kayla gets her arms into it.

Sami admits to some of the likes and dislikes she’s referenced. Kevin asks if she brought up the other stuff. Yes, the fair trade coffee, farmer’s collective, bamboo charcoal infused. Sami say she will leave the show if she stays dressed up like this. Kayla says it’s fine, the beard hair is getting in her mouth. Kevin tags in, though. Sami says they wasted time in the segment! If they didn’t do the phone call for Shay Shay, maybe. But next time, they’ll talk about their tag title reign. So thank you, guys, but please, time to go. Well good luck with Lashley, Sami. They hug it out for whatever reason. Kevin doesn’t understand what’s going on. Sami say she has responsibilities for the time limit. But it’s the WWE Network! They still have time constraints. Sami calls for the music while Dawkins sings, “Please~ Don’t~ Go!” Ford gets up, Sami THROWS THE SOLO CUP!! The music plays them off despite being in shock.

Sami asks if Kevin likes what he’s enabling. And Sami almost fell out of his chair. Well Kevin spent a year with the Profits, they got to be great friends. Has Sami seen Ford’s frog splash? Yes, that is amazing, Sami gives Ford credit. He kicked them off! Because he has a show to do! Kayla is dressing up as her and doing weird impressions. But to keep on moving, their next guest- Wait, their next guest? Well apparently Kevin’s the cohost since he sat down! Not sure how this happened! Social distancing, Sami, please. Well moving on the more serious guest as part of the family drama we saw on SmackDown, it is the Mysterio family!

Rey and Dominik Mysterio join Talking Smack!

Father and son are back, Kevin says they can pretend he’s not here. But Sami thanks them for showing up. We thought things were crazy a few weeks ago but now, wow! What is going on through their minds since Friday? Dom is still shocked, surprised and sink in. Before Sami goes further, what do they think is going through Aalyah’s mind, being in this relationship with Buddy Murphy? Rey and Dom feel she’s not thinking things through. “She’s now put herself in a bad situation.” She’s seen what has happened to Rey and Dom. Well, Kevin has kids, but they’re young so maybe it doesn’t apply. But wouldn’t they all agree that this is rather odd for Aalyah to be with Murphy after everything that’s happened? After what he did to Rey’s eye and everything else? Do the Mysterios feel betrayed a bit that Aalyah now has feelings for a man who did that?

Rey admits that’s true. He doesn’t want to blame himself, because Aalyah’s motive in the first place was to support her father and brother. Dom made his debut, starting his career in the WWE. But now it’s just a mess. Sami say sit was a risk just bringing in Dom, that’s a lot for a father to handle. Dom took more kendo stick shots than anyone ever, and credit to Dom to withstand it. That was hard enough for Rey to see, but now this thing with Aalyah! Sami asks if Kevin has an opinion. Kevin knows it can’t be easy, but at the same time, spending all these years raising your daughter, you should know her. It is a tough spot for both father and brother, everything with Murphy, Kevin wouldn’t want to be in that situation. Rey agrees, it is a very difficult situation.

Sami asks if Rey has any fatherly obligation to support his daughter. Rey says he has to first get to the bottom of this. Is she being manipulated? Or is it honest feelings? Rey needs to know all of that first. Sami says that’s very big of Rey. But also, Murphy was trying to honestly apologize. Rey knows that, but Aalyah is 19 years old, Rey’s baby girl. The last thing Rey wants is for her to be in a relationship with someone who has hurt the family. Dom agrees. They’re bumping heads with Ms. Angie as the mother, but Rey is the father, the man of the house. He’s setting things straight. Well, damn! Sami, you don’t have to laugh. This is genuine. Sami knows that. Sami knows Rey is truly troubled by this. The only thing, as if it isn’t bad enough, Seth Rollins is loving this! How is that provoking them?

Kevin says Rollins may be the worst person on SmackDown right now. Rollins started all of this, maybe pulling the strings. What if it’s all a long con? Rollins has done worse. And yes, maybe Rollins is doing this to use Aalyah against the family. Dom hopes not, but we’ll see. Sami has to say, Rey’s been very professional but we’re seeing a different side of him. This is unlike anything Rey has been involved in. Sami asks if Rey has something to say to Murphy. “You can hurt me as much as you want. You cross the line when you try to hurt my blood.” That goes for Dom, and especially for Aalyah. There is no difference between son and daughter, but Aalyah is innocent. She hasn’t been through what Rey’s been through. Sami thanks them for being here and they leave.

Sami tells Kevin that he really does feel for the Mysterios. He would not want to be in this position. The Mysterios are not in a good mood. Well Sami was yelling at them. Was he? Kevin says Sami needs to soften his tone. Kayla is back and tags back in. Kevin says Sami needs to be careful not to push issues. They show up and he was all, “What about Murphy and Aalyah?!” Well don’t yell at him now… Kayla asks if this is better for Sami and he says it is. Kevin says bye and wants to take the IC title with him but Sami stops that. To wrap up the night, it’s BAYLEY!

Bayley joins Talking Smack!

Kayla admits to almost messing up, it’s been over a year since we’ve had to say she’s NOT SmackDown Women’s Champion. Yeah, because Bayley is always on the show “every freakin’ week” and she gets maybe one day off! She’s not a champ and she’s still here. Well they appreciate her being her. She appreciates them being here. Better than Daniel Bryan or The Miz. Sami thanks her for that. Did Bayley see what he had to deal with? Well, Bayley admits Kayla looked great as Sami. But don’t make fun of her friend, THE Intercontinental Champion! Champions deserve respect. Sami wants to ask, huge rematch next week, Bayley can get back what is rightfully hers after having it 380 days. So it isn’t a stretch to associate it as Bayley’s championship. Bayley feels great and is still confident.

Bayley can tell Kayla has questions, but just hold on. Bayley wants to say 380 consecutive days, not even counting those 4 days where she lost it for a moment to Charlotte Flair, that’s 500+ days! More days than Sasha has had combined! MATH! Sami says this is the knock that has followed Sasha, and Bayley knows because she’s been around for all of it. Wow look at that bruise from HIAC. What was it like in there? Sami wants to finish his question first, sorry. Is Kevin going to come back? Sami says this is what Sasha hasn’t been able to do: Sasha can win titles, but it seems she can’t keep them. This factors into Bayley’s plan here. Right! Bayley knows this, too. Look back on all of the footage for years. Bayley says Sasha is the best she’s been in the ring with, but isn’t better than Bayley! Bayley knows Sasha better than anyone else. But Kayla, please, ask your question. Spit it out! Okay!

If Bayley wins the title back, she will be facing Asuka at Survivor Series. Is she even thinking about that yet? Or is Sasha the focus? A great question, actually. And the reason Bayley is so great is because she is thinking ahead. She isn’t just thinking about whooping Sasha to take back what is hers, but beating Asuka at Survivor Series like she has before. She will lead SmackDown to a Survivor Series victory! Don’t you remember her being #BayleyDosStraps, being on all three shows, as both SmackDown Women’s and Women’s Tag Team Champion? Sami personally wishes Bayley all the luck in the world. Kayla does, too, but Sami says it means more coming from him. That’s Talking Smack! Happy Halloween!

My Thoughts:

What a great episode! Kayla surprising us as in a Sami Zayn costume, Kevin showing up so that he and Sami have great chemistry on camera again, so much fun. The segment with the Profits was the most Talking Smack energy since, well, when Daniel Bryan was on the other week. The Mysterios had a good segment, and I forgot to talk about it on the SmackDown article. Things are getting predictably cringey with that story, but why else would they have started down this way if there wasn’t going to be some weird Romeo & Juliet parallel? I’m still hoping things steer in a slightly more comfortable direction, but it is what it is for now. And Bayley had a good segment to hype up both her rematch with Sasha and the possible match at Survivor Series with Asuka. I still feel this is just setting up Bayley to lose and Sasha finally breaks the loop of losing titles right away, and I hope Sasha is on next week’s Talking Smack for that reason.