Everything really IS bigger in Texas!

This might be the biggest card AEW Rampage has ever had! An 8 Man, a 10 Man, and then a Women’s Submissions Match! Oh, and Dan Lambert…

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• 8 Man Tag: Bobby Fish & The Super Kliq VS Orange Cassidy, Rocky Romero & Best Friends; Cassidy, Romero & Best Friends win.
• Submission Match: Tay Conti VS Penelope Ford; Conti wins.
• 10 Man Tag: Eddie Kingston, The Lucha Brothers, Santana & Ortiz VS Daniel Garcia, 2point0 & The Acclaimed; Garcia, 2point0 & The Acclaimed win.

PLAY BY PLAY

8 Man Tag: Bobby Fish & The Super Kliq VS Orange Cassidy, Rocky Romero & Best Friends!

The Infamous One, Adam Cole & The Young Bucks already decimated Freshly Squeezed, Chuckie T & Trent last week, along with Wheeler Yuta, but now things are a little different! Will the return of Azucar make it so Chaos stands tall in Dallas? Or will even the BOOM be bigger in Texas, BAYBAY?

The teams sort out, Matt Jackson starts against the Kentucky Gentleman. Chuck and Matt circle, fans rally up, and Matt kicks low! Matt throws hands, throat chops Chuck to a corner, then whips him corner to corner. Matt runs in but Chuck goes up and over to swing, but into a back suplex! Chuck lands out of it to elbow Matt down, goes up and flap his wings, MOONSAULT! Chuck lands on his feet as Matt moves, but he catches Matt for a SHIRANUI! Cover, TWO! Chuck DECKS Nick as he mouths off, but Matt rakes eyes! Matt whips, Chuck holds ropes and Rocky tags in. Chuck BOOTS, Rocky RANAS! Rocky sees Fish coming and they start throwing forearms!

Fish ROCKS Rocky then spins him for a strike fest! Rocky ducks a roundhouse but gets a mule kick. Rocky atomic drops and dropkicks Fish down! Tag to Cassidy! Fans fire up, Rocky CHOPS Fish, then he and Cassidy double whip! Rocky runs in to lariat, and again, and again, before Cassidy gets there to feed Fish to a LARIAT! Cassidy covers, ONE! Cassidy is surprised, Cole tags in! Fans want to see this one and they are thunderous already! Cole talks trash to Cassidy as he paces but Cassidy just watches him. Cole mock Cassidy by putting his hands by his waistband, then tags in Nick. Cassidy raises his hands, but Nick kicks low!

Nick knuckle locks and wrenches to go up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAG! Nick gets the knuckle lock again to wrench, but he has to stop the other hand from going into a pocket! Cassidy uses that to go up, up, strut on the tightrope, fake Nick out, and put his hand in his pocket! Nick brings Cassidy down but Nick gets around to ripcord! Hands in pockets, things speed up, Cassidy leaps over and bypasses to NO-HAND ARM-DRAG! And then hurdle and monkey flip! Cassidy kips up and fans fire up! But Cole CLOBBERS Cassidy! The others BLAST the Best Friends off the apron and Cole stomps away on Cassidy! Cole goes out, the Bucks keep the Best Friends down.

Matt RAMS Chuck into railing, then the Bucks set Trent up to put one out! Cole helps out, TRIPLEE POWERBOMB to the apron!! Trent falls, the Super Kliq regroup. Nick tags Cole in, then Cole tags Matt. The Super Kliq all take corners, and mock the Best Friends to TRIPLE SUPERKICK! Fans boo but the Super Kliq soaks up the heat as AEW goes picture in picture.

Matt drops a knee, then punches Cassidy down for more stomps. Matt digs his foot into Cassidy’s neck but lets off as the ref reprimands. Matt mocks the fans, drags Cassidy up, and gives him a hip attack Tag to Fish, Fish drags Cassidy up to clinch and throw knees. Fish BOOTS Cassidy into a corner, then fires off haymakers and body shots and kicks! Fish has a leg to DRAGON SCREW! And SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! Cassidy escapes that deep hook, but Fish drags Cassidy up to snapmare near ropes. Fish goes up and out to slingshot senton back in! Cover, TWO! Fish tags Matt in and Matt drags Cassidy up to whip into the corner.

Rampage returns to single picture as Matt BLASTS Trent off the apron! Matt and Nick coordinate, FOREARM KICK COMBO! Scoop SLAM, tag to Nick, and Nick goes up. The Bucks mock Cassidy, before the MOONSAULT SPLASH COMBO! Cover, Rocky and Chuck break it! Nick tags Cole, Cole drags Cassidy into the camel clutch! The Bucks run side to side but Chuck and Rocky drag them out! Cassidy snapmares, and he gives Cole the kiss on the cheek! Ghost pin, TWO! Cole CLOBBERS Cassidy, then runs in at the corner. Cassidy BOOTS Cole, BUMPS Fish off buckles, then leaps over Cole, only for the Bucks to trip everyone off the apron! SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!!

Cole hops up the corner, leaps, but no Panama Sunrise, only a back drop! Cole crawls, Cassidy sees Trent, and tags him in! Fans fire up as Trent rallies on the Super Kliq! HALF ‘N’ HALF for Matt! Trent shoves Cole into Nick, then DOUBLE LARIATS them down! Trent sees Cole on the apron and gives him a SENTON! Trent SPEARS Fish! And BACK DROPS Brandon Cutler! Trent climbs a corner and SPLASHES Nick while he’s standing! Cover, TWO! Trent drags Nick up, CHOPS him, then runs. Nick ROUNDHOUSES, but Rocky gets in, ROPPONGI KNEES! Trent and Rocky coordinate, they hang Nick out to dry and Rocky missile dropkicks, Trent SLIDING KNEES! Cover, TWO!

Nick survives but Roppongi Vice are ready! Only for Matt to drag Rocky out and RAM him into steps! Trent DECKS Matt, runs but Chuck wants him to wait! They HUT! GOT to give the people what they want! They get Cole for SOLE FOOD HALF ‘N’ HALF! Trent helps Chuck FLY to take out Fish and Matt! Nick dodges Trent, runs in but into a BOOT! Trent goes up, Nick trips him up! Trent hits off buckles and Nick tags Matt. Matt tags Cole, the Super Kliq coordinate. Nick runs in to SHINING WIZARD, ROUNDHOUSE, FOREARM and feed, to Cole’s suplex. DOUBLE SUPERKICK GHOSTBUSTER COMBO!! Fish is up top, Cole tags him in! DIVING HEADBUTT! Cover, TWO!?!

Fish and the Super Kliq are shocked! They drag Trent back up, hoist him up top, Nick SUPERKICKS Rocky! Chuck gets DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Fish goes up top to get Trent, SUPER FALCON ARROW!! Cover, Cassidy breaks it!! Fans fire up and Cassidy takes off the armband! Fish stands, but Cole BOOTS Cassidy first! Rocky dodges Cole’s boot, Cole blocks the kick and ducks the enziguri but the HEEL KICK gets him! Rocky builds speed, and DIVES to take out Cole! But Matt WRECKS Rocky, skins the cat, and Nick FLIES to take out Chuck and Rocky! Matt is all fired up, but he turns around into an ORANGE PUNCH! And then a SPRINGBOARD SWANTON from Cassidy to everyone!!

Fans are going nuts as Trent ducks Fish to backslide. Fish rolls through, but into the Alabama! Trent tucks him in, for the CRUNCHY!! Cover, Trent and team wins!!

Winners: Orange Cassidy, Rocky Romero & Best Friends, by pinfall

What a return for Trent! And of course, they group hug! Will Best Friends return to the top and finally go for the AEW World Tag Team Championships?

AEW returns and Dan Lambert is in the ring.

He and The Men of the Year, Ethan Page & Scorpio Sky, are here, and Lambert knows how the fans feel. Standing in front of all these “douchebags” is the last thing Lambert wants to be doing. But he wouldn’t let “Tony Conman” and Cody Rhodes screw his guys out of what they’ve earned. Why does everyone suck up to Tony Khan? Oooh~, he wears all these hats, between AEW and the Jacksonville Jaguars and that stupid soccer thing he does. Fans call Lambert an A-Hole but Lambert says it’s easy for Tony to wear multiple hats when he’s two-faced and talks out both sides of his mouth!

Like when he started AEW and said he was a fan first and foremost, so that booking would be made on merit, not friendships or politics. And like any good conman, or politician, he delivered on those promises to start to gain people’s trust. He pushed the weirdo on the skateboard, the hands-in-his-pockets guy, and even “Lil’ Sammy.” Tony brought in Bryan and Punk. But while he dangled the carrot with one hand, the other hand stabbed us in the back as he handed title shots to friends and EVPs like Cody Rhodes! Mark Lambert’s words! They’re turning this into a late 90s WCW, and Tony is becoming what he hated most about this business!

“Now speaking of Cody Rhodes, has there ever been anybody in the history of the business better at parlaying backstage relationships into title matches? Into main events? Into fame and fortune? Hell, into a primetime reality show that absolutely SUCKS! Does anyone even watch that thing?!” But speaking of Cody, here he comes! Fans aren’t sure who to boo more during Cody’s long entrance. Cody gets in the ring and the Men of the Year mockingly welcome him to take centerstage. Cody snatches the mic from Lambert! Lambert snatches it back! So Cody snatches it again! But then Lambert takes it back again! And then back to Cody. Then Cody just attacks Ethan!

The Men of the Year have the 2v1 advantage, but here comes DUSTIN! Cody’s brother fights off Ethan & Scorpio with big uppercuts, then dares Lambert to man up! Lambert just suckers Dustin in so Ethan & Scorpio can go after the Rhodes boys! Lambert applauds, but here comes SAMMY GUEVARA! The TNT Champion ROCKS Scorpio, GAMANGIRIS Ethan, then springboards in to FLYING CUTTER on Scorpio! Clothesline for Ethan, the Spanish God has Texas on his side! And Sammy nods to Cody, their title match is coming next Saturday! Will Sammy be dreaming of a gold Christmas? Or will the holidays be an American Nightmare for him?

AEW looks closer at the TBS Championship Semifinals.

Thunder Rosa says the next time she sees Jade Cargill in the ring, she will be coming for blood. Jade says Rosa just sounds jealous that Jade’s done more in one year than Rosa’s done in five. As for Ruby Soho, she knows she is the only one left that didn’t have a first round bye. She knows that when she holds that TBS Championship above her head, it’ll be because she earned it! But Nyla Rose says that when they meet up, that “grand” opportunity will just be blown. Ruby Soho, Destination Unknown? Nyla knows where she’s going: THE TRASH! Who survives to go on the championship finals in the New Year?

Submission Match: Tay Conti w/ Anna Jay VS Penelope Ford w/ The Bunny!

The Brazilian Blackbelt Beauty knows a thing or two about submissions, but the Superbad Girl says she only needs one. Will Ford make it one and done? Or will Conti show Ford why she has all those martial arts belts?

The second Conti gets in, Ford rushes her! But Conti dodges, to then trip Ford up and fire off forearms and fists! The ref wants Conti to back off, and Conti lets Ford get to a corner. The bell rings, Conti runs in to BOOT! Then Conti goes side to side, but Ford avoids it to throw Conti by her hair! Ford gets a leg, but Conti kicks free with the other! Conti rolls Ford to a HEEL HOOK! Ford endures, crawls over, and she gets help from Bunny to get the ropebreak! The ref reprimands Bunny, but Conti still lets go. Conti WRECKS Ford with a dropkick, then goes out after her. Fans fire up, Conti gets Ford up but Ford POSTS her! And CHOPS her! And CHOPS her!

Conti ducks and Ford CHOPS post! Conti snarls and she gets in the ring to hit an ARMBAR TAKEDOWN! Ford resists as best she can with a bad hand! Conti pulls, Ford’s foot gets the ROPEBREAK! Conti lets go, but she keeps cool as fans fire up. Conti runs in but Ford YANKS her into ropes! Conti staggers, Ford runs corner to corner and manages to handspring, into DOUBLE KNEES! Conti goes up the corner, and catches Ford for a headscissors and TRIANGLE HOLD! Ford stays up, turns Conti over and has the legs! Ford ties up the legs for a Bow ‘n’ Arrow STF! Conti fights with elbows, rolls Ford to the crucifix cradle, but not for a pin! She drives in ELBOWS!

Ford guards as best she can but Conti shifts around. Conti traps one arm, then the other, RECLINER ARMBAR! Bunny distracts the ref! Conti swipes at Bunny and Jay is there! Bunny backs off, Conti runs in at the corner but is put on the apron. Conti grabs Ford for a chinlock! Conti climbs the ropes for a HANGMAN’S SLEEPER! Ford gets up, Conti moves around, shifts her grip, flips over and carries Ford out, but Ford turns that into a BACKPACK DRAGON SLEEPER! Seems Ford knows more holds than she let on! Conti resists, Ford shifts it to more of an Octopus! Conti powers out but Ford makes it a BACKBREAKER! And another! And another!

Ford has a backbreaker rack with a head ‘n’ arm clinch. But Conti throws knee after knee and is free! Conti runs, Ford dodges, handspring STUNNER! And roll back into a BRIDGING CRAVAT! Conti gets the ROPEBREAK! Ford lets go, kicks Conti around, almost toying with her. Ford stands Conti up, Conti ROCKS Ford with a forearm! And a BOOT! Ford forearms back but Conti boots, but Ford blocks to HEEL KICK! Ford runs, wheelbarrows, but Conti sits her down! Body scissors to a leg hook half nelson and CROSSFACE! Whatever this is, Ford can’t withstand it and she TAPS! Conti wins!

Winner: Tay Conti

Conti lets Ford go, that was one wicked chokehold! But Bunny DECKS her with brass knuckles!! But Jay rushes in with a CHAIR! Bunny and Ford run off, is this grudge far from over?

AEW announces the Owen Hart Foundation Tournaments!

There will be both a Men’s and Women’s Owen Hart Memorial Cup, starting in May and culminating at Double Or Nothing 2022! More on when “The Owen” begins during the Holiday Bash!

Mark Henry talks to tonight’s main eventers.

Eddie Kingston stands with his friends, Santana, Ortiz, Penta & Fenix, while it seems 2point0 & Daniel Garcia got The Acclaimed to join them. Henry says Garcia & 2point0 insist on going after Eddie Kingston. How is this going to end? Max Caster says, “Yo! Listen!” Jeff Parker has Caster wait until their entrances. But obviously there is a plan. Before getting to that, let’s enjoy the early Christmas miracle: Kingston found people who can tolerate him! Kingston is already tired of the talk and he walks off camera. Matt Lee says Kingston can’t take the heat! Never could, never will! They’ve given Kingston just a taste each time. But tonight, Kingston and his guys get the whole meal!

Anthony Bowens mocks Alex Abrahantes by saying, “Penta says EVERYONE loves the Acclaimed!” Kingston returns to ask if they’re done. No, they’re not! Kingston doesn’t want to do this. His team’s gonna beat their asses. Henry, do your thing, the “Time for the main event” and all that jazz. Henry says there has been enough talk. It’s TIME for the main event! Will 2point0, Garcia & The Acclaimed all be eating their words tonight?

10 Man Tag: Eddie Kingston, The Lucha Brothers, Santana & Ortiz VS Daniel Garcia, 2point0 & The Acclaimed!

Rampage returns as Kingston leads his team to the ring. Then Max Caster & Anthony Bowens lead the way for their team so that Platinum Max can get his diss rap in. “The Acclaimed, we gonna take you away. We like the CIA and you JFK. Oh, jeez.” Kingston’s team attacks them at the ramp! It’s a brawl and Dallas is loving it! Kingston headbutts Garcia, Santana & Ortiz throw 2point0 around while the Lucha Bros are after the Acclaimed. Fenix throws Caster into railing, Ortiz sends Matt Lee into railing, then CHOPS! Santana scoops and SLAMS Jeff Parker! Fans chant for “CERO! MIEDO!” as Penta POSTS Caster! Kingston sends Garcia into steps, Ortiz and Matt are brawling!

Penta CHOPS Caster against railing and fans fire up! Garcia goes after Ortiz, Kingston DECKS Parker. Santana stands on Bowens, Ortiz snap suplexes Garcia while Penta KICKS Matt! Penta gets in the ring with Caster and the match finally starts! Penta has the fans rallying with “CERO! MIEDO!” Kingston gets a chair but the ref stops him, this is not a No Disqualification 10 Man! Penta and Caster approach, Penta says CERO MIEDO right to Caster’s face! Caster forearms, Penta CHOPS! Caster CHPOS, Penta CHOPS! Caster CHOPS, Penta KICKS! Penta whips Caster to the corner and GAMANGIRIS!

Fenix tags in, feed to a BOOT, SUPERKICK and then ripcord, ROUNDHOUSE SUPERKICK COMBO! Uno, dos, tres, DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Penta and Fenix combine, victory roll SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Fenix stares down 2point0 and team, fans rally for “LUCHA! LUCHA!” Fenix CHOPS Caster in the corner! Fenix brings Caster around, “ANIMO!” But Caster suplexes first! Fenix knees free then tags in Ortiz! Bowens tags in but Ortiz trips Bowens up! Tag to Santana, PNP double whip Bowens to then turn it around, atomic drop, LARIAT and DDT! Step-up MOONSAULT! Santana double guns and fans are fired up again! Santana CHOPS Bowens and AEW goes picture in picture.

Santana snap suplexes Bowens, Uno Amigo! Another snap suplex, Dos Amigos! Tag to Ortiz, they double suplex for THREE AMIGOS! Or is that four? Ortiz shouts out Latino Heat with the shoulder shimmy, then he wrenches an arm to tag in Kingston! Kingston stands Bowens up to MACHINE GUN CHOP in the corner! Bowens sits down, so Kingston MACHINE GUN CHOPS on the bottom rope! Kingston hits a GOURD BUSTER, then sits Bowens up with a fish hook in the face. Tag to Ortiz, he Oklahoma Rolls, but 2point0 and Garcia break it up! Then they go after the rest of the team! It’s more bedlam outside, Parker DECKS Ortiz on his way back to his corner.

Caster whips Fenix hard into railing! Bowens CHOPS Ortiz to the corner, tags in Caster, and The Acclaimed coordinate. Torture rack dropkick SLAM! Cover, TWO! Caster drags Ortiz over, Parker tags in and they mug Ortiz. Parker scrapes his laces off Ortiz’s face, then he kicks at Santana! Santana gets in but that distract the ref so he misses Lee and Garcia going after Ortiz. But Ortiz goes right after them! Caster anchors Ortiz’s foot, Parker CLUBS Ortiz then whips him to ropes. Ortiz goes up and over and hot tags Santana! Santana BOOTS Garcia, CLOBBERS Parker, then fires off fast hands! Parker powers Santana to ropes, Lee tags in and trips Santana up to drag him out!

Lee bumps Santana off the apron, then sets him up for Garcia’s DRIVE-BY DROPKICK! Lee soaks up the heat, but then Kingston and Ortiz go after him and Garcia! It’s chaos on the outside again! Caster uses a fan’s sign to smother Kingston! The ref sorts out the madness and the teams back off. Lee puts Santana in, tags Parker, and 2point0 double whip. Rampage returns to single picture as Santana goes up and over, reels both 2point0 in, and then somersaults back to cravat. They power out but get a DOUBLE QUEBRADA! Hot tag to Penta! SLINGBLADE for Parker! SLINGBLADE for Lee! Garcia tags in but gets a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER!

Penta BLASTS Bowens off the apron but Caster gets in and shoves Penta! Penta SUPERKICKS back! Fenix tags in to TIGHTROPE KICK! Fenix fires off kicks on 2point0, ROUNDHOUSE and SUPERKICK! Garcia gets in, Fenix dodges and SOBATS! Fenix rolls Garcia out to then go up and up and TORNILLO SPLASH! Cover, Bowens breaks it! Bowens whips Fenix to ropes, Fenix Tiger Feints to HEEL KICK! Hot tag to Kingston! The Mad King has Dallas fired up as he CHOPS Garcia! But 2point0 drag Kingston out to mug him! The Lucha Brothers FLY out to take 2point0 down! Bowens DECKS Kingston! Ortiz boots Bowens but Bowens fires off the 5 Tool Combination!

Santana gets in to SUPERMAN PUNCH Bowens, then PILEDRIVER! Caster CROSSBODIES, but Kingston returns! EXPLODER for Caster! Garcia SLAPS Kingston, Kingston fires off palm strikes! URA- NO! Garcia ducks to roll Kingston with tights!! Garcia’s team wins?!?

Winners: Daniel Garcia, 2point0 & The Acclaimed, by pinfall

But they won’t stop even there! Garcia & 2point0 mug Kingston! Bowens gets in with his 5 Tool Boombox, Caster adds his chain to it! 2point0 gets Kingston up, FULL METAL BOOMBOX SHOT! But here come Jurassic Express!! From the crowd! Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus, and even Christian Cage, attack and send everyone out! Caster sees he’s alone, he gets a BOOT from Luchasaurus! But now we’ve got the top contenders and the AEW World Tag Team Champions in the ring. JB gives the Lucha Brothers their belts, and then offers a handshake. Fenix & Penta accept the sign of respect. But will respect matter once the belts are on the line?

Meanwhile, Kingston chases Garcia & 2point0 to the back! Is this only the start of a war between the Mad King and these three snakes?

My Thoughts:

A very good Rampage, and I must say, the Submission Match went better than I expected. I didn’t think Ford was going to be able to do as much, but she definitely surprised me with having a few other moves. Though, I still feel like she wasn’t as sharp as she could’ve been on some of those. That bridging cravat was probably supposed to be a fully rolled back dragon sleeper. Conti winning was the right call, and wow Bunny with that sucker punch. I wonder if Bunny VS Jay will be a No Disqualification match to be different from the match here tonight. And we got a very good group vignette to hype up the TBS Championship tournament matches, but I’m still betting on Jade VS Ruby for the finals.

We got a great 8 Man Tag to open the night, and how great for Best Friends to win. I still would love a 2v2 of Bucks VS Best Friends so that Best Friends can get back in the running of the tag ranks. And it seems we’re not done with this until Cassidy and Cole have a match, either. Lambert had a good promo, and a decent back and forth of mic snatching with Cody before things turned into a brawl, and I like that Dustin came out, and was surprised Sammy showed up. I almost feel like there should be Rhodes Brothers VS Men of the Year before the TNT Championship match, but maybe that happens some other time, like the TBS debut episode.

My Score: 8.5/10