The Most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania hangover, anyone?

Raw has a new Women’s Champion, and we all have a NEW Undisputed WWE Champion, but perhaps biggest of all tonight, VEER MAHAAN RETURNS!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Championship Contenders Match: Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan; Sasha & Naomi win and deny Rhea & Liv a title match.
• Dominik Mysterio w/ Rey Mysterio VS The Miz; Miz wins.
• NXT Championship: Dolph Ziggler w/ Robert Roode VS Bron Breakker; Breakker wins and becomes the new NXT Champion.
• Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya; No Contest.
• Six Man Tag: Finn Balor & RKBRO VS Austin Theory & The Usos; Theory & The Usos win.
• The Street Profits VS The Alpha Academy; changed to…
• Texas Tornado Tag: The Street Profits VS The Alpha Academy; The Street Profits win.

PLAY BY PLAY

The lights go down.

Fans are already chanting, because yes! “Wrestling has more than one… Royal family.” CODY RHODES opens Monday Night Raw! The American Nightmare returned to the WWE, took on Seth Rollins and won! Fans fire up with Cody as he walks down the ramp and to the ring. And then pyro goes off. Cody gets the mic as fans chant his name, and then fans chant, “Welcome Back!” Cody smiles, soaks in the moment, and then gets fired up! “So, what do you guys wanna talk about?” It has been 47 days from the abrupt news of his free agency, and other than that, he remained silent.

Cody heard stories, whispers and theories that were nonsense. Everyone thinks the decision to return to the WWE was difficult. It was not. It was simple, really. “The star that left them in the dust. The man standing here now having signed a multi-year agreement with World Wrestling Entertainment, and if there was…” Fans chant, “You Deserve It!” and Cody says, “If there was a glimmer of doubt, a shred of trepidation, the moment I rose up in front of 70 something THOUSAND fans, the moment I made the walk at a WrestleMania and defeated one of the best superstar wrestlers in any era, that being Seth Rollins, that doubt was eradicated!”

Cody is an avid reader and he stumbled across a quote. “A man often finds his destiny the path he takes to avoid it.” So if you’ll humor Cody, let’s look at the tron, if you will. Dusty Rhodes holds up the world title in Madison Square Garden on 9/26/77. “Right there is my father, the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. It’s so simple to say, ‘That’s my father.’ But in reality, yeah, he’s a legend. Yeah, he’s a Son of a Plumber, a common man, he’s all those things. To me, he was my hero.” Cody gets a bit choked up and fans cheer for “Dusty! Dusty!” That photo was taken in 1977, MSG, and Dusty is holding what would eventually go to Hulk Hogan, The Undertaker, and HBK. Oh, and HHH, too.

Cody has a quick story that makes it all very simple to him. This very photo of his father was on the mantle in his parents’ bedroom until his father’s last day. And as Cody got “hip” to the industry, he worked up the courage to ask, but fumbled the words. “I didn’t know you were a champion like Hulk Hogan.” Dusty looked at him with the same eyes that liberty has, and he said very sternly yet patiently, the champion’s advantage. Dusty had won the match, but because it was by count-out, he did not take home the title. So 8 year old Cody wasn’t sure what to do. Right then and there, at 8 years old, Cody knew not what he wanted but NEEDED to do!

Cody needed to win that title right there! Cody was going to bestow it into the hands of Dusty Rhodes and tell him, no one can take it from Dusty now! Many have followed the journey, but those new to it, that dream died. Right in front of Cody. That opportunity passed. Or did it? Yes, Cody cannot physically put the belt into Dusty’s hands, but he certainly will put it on the waist of the American Nightmare! Fans cheer that on and then chant, “You Can Do It!” Cody says with that in mind, the silence is broken and his intentions are clear. Cody stands before us ready, finally ready, and he will do it. HE will give the distinction that his family has long since been denied!

Cody will do it for us, for himself, for the Rhodes family! He will do it for the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes! But then SETH ROLLINS makes his entrance! The Architect lost but he doesn’t seem in a bad mood at all in his light pink suit with purple and silver sequins. Rollins joins Cody in the ring, swaggers a bit as fans sing his theme, and then he looks Cody in the eye. Cody tosses the mic aside, and Rollins smiles. Cody offers a handshake, fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” and Rollins takes it! There is respect here, but will Seth Freakin’ Rollins have something planned to stop Cody’s dream from coming true?

Championship Contenders Match: Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Rhea Ripley & Liv Morgan!

The NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions made everyone #FeelTheBossGlow in that Fatal 4 Way, but now they take on #Liv4Brutality with a title opportunity on the line! Will Sasha & Naomi prove they’re LEGIT? Or will Rhea & Liv turn this dream come true into a living nightmare?

Raw returns as Liv & Rhea make their entrance. The teams sort out, Rhea starts against Naomi. They stare down as fans rally up, then tie up. Naomi gets around, but Rhea wrenches out to HEADBUTT! Rhea suplexes, carries Naomi around, and Liv counts it out for her. Rhea goes all the way to 10, then 15, then 20! SLAM on 21! Cover, TWO! Rhea still smiles, and she brings Naomi up to whip her to ropes. Naomi ducks with a slide, then elbows back! Naomi mule kicks, tags Sasha, and they DOUBLE BUCKLE BULLDOG! Sasha tags Naomi back in before the VADER BOMB! Naomi SPLIT LEG MOONSAULTS! Cover, Liv breaks it!

Sasha gets in to throw Liv out, then Sasha goes to the apron for a METEORA! Direct hit and down goes Liv! But Rhea goes out to CANNONBALL Sasha down! Naomi PLANCHAS to take out Rhea! Fans fire up, Naomi gets fired up, too, and she checks on Sasha. Naomi hurries back to the ring and gets Rhea in. Fans rally up, Naomi drops a leg! Cover, TWO! Rhea is still in this but Team BAD still has control as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Rhea has Naomi down in a body scissors squeeze. Rhea thrashes Naomi around but Naomi pushes back to a cover, TWO! Naomi is free, but Rhea mule kicks her first. Rhea whips, Naomi goes up to springboard FLYING CHUCK! Both women are down and fans fire up! Naomi and Rhea crawl for their corners, going past each other, hot tags to Liv and Sasha! Sasha KNEES Liv, then steps in to RANA her down! Liv ends up in a corner, Sasha runs in, DOUBLE KNEES! She goes again, METEORA! Then side to side, BOOT WASH! Sasha fires up, climbs up, and leaps, METEORA! Cover, TWO!

Sasha is shocked that Liv still lives! Fans fire up while Sasha shakes her head. Sasha brings Liv up, spins her around, but Liv victory rolls, TWO! Sasha swings but Liv goes Matrix to roll Sasha, TWO! Liv ENZIGURIS and down goes Sasha! Fans fire up as Liv hurries to her corner. Tag to Rhea, and Rhea gets Sasha up for Liv to POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Sasha survives and now Rhea is shocked! Tag back to Liv, assisted FLOP as Sasha moves! Naomi ROUNDHOUSES Rhea and tosses her out hard! Tag to Naomi, she and Sasha get Liv up. Wheelbarrow CODE BREAKER! Cover, the champs win!

Winners: Sasha Banks & Naomi, by pinfall

Rhea & Liv have been denied their title shot! Naomi & Sasha head out, who will be coming for them next? Rhea gets back in the ring to check on Liv, and Liv apologizes. But then Rhea walks off? Is Rhea ditching another tag partner?

Kevin Owens heads to the ring!

The Prizefighter barely waits for Rhea and Liv to leave before he makes his way out. How is feeling after his surprise match with Stone Cold? We’ll hear about it after the break.

Raw returns and Kevin has the mic to say, “Alright. I may have made a mistake. On Saturday night, in the main event of WrestleMania, when I had Stone Cold Steve Austin as my guest on the KO Show, I unveiled my plan to trick him into having one last match, and uh… I think I underestimated Steve a little bit.” Kevin will admit it: The Texas Rattlesnake is still great. You have to in order to beat one of the best in the WWE ever in Kevin Owens! Fans have to admit to that part! And when Kevin tricked Steve into having a match, he might’ve tricked himself. Kevin went into it with a pretty bad back, okay?

No, no! He’s not lying! Watch how he walked down the ramp. You couldn’t see it in his face cuz he’s so tough, but he was limping. He was lifting weight, a lot of weight, and hurt himself! He should’ve just gone home. But he knew the WWE Universe needed Kevin to give them a great WrestleMania moment! He sacrificed his health for us! SO as great as that was for Steve, the win should come with a clarification that it was over someone nowhere near 100%! IT should just be stricken from the records all together! Wait, who is this? Ezekiel? Is that ELIAS?! And he’s interrupting Kevin?!

“Ezekiel” gets a mic and Kevin isn’t even sure but… Elias? Is that him? What the hell is he doing here? Where has he been? And who does he think he is interrupting Kevin’s time?! Elias says he’s not Elias. Fans chant, “Yes You Are! Yes You Are!” But Elias says he is Elias’ brother. Fans call BS! “The name is Ezekiel.” “What?!” Elias is not Elias? No, he knows those eyes! That’s Elias! No, he’s Elias’ brother, Ezekiel! Okay, Kevin may have gotten beer in his eyes, but maybe there’s some in his ears. Because he keeps hearing Elias say he’s not Elias. But he is! So stop the BS! Stop lying! Kevin hates liars!

Oh, well, Kevin must hate himself then. Cuz on Saturday, Kevin lied to Stone Cold, and got stunned. Okay, y’know what? Kevin doesn’t like Elias. Fans chant, “You Got Stunned!” but Kevin ignores this. Kevin used to like Elias- No, that’s a lie. He never liked him! And he likes him even less now! So Elias, Eric, Enrique, whatever you say your name is, the only thing that matter sis that Kevin is telling the truth here and now when he says Elias has 10 seconds to get out of the ring or else! Kevin even counts it down! Fans say “WHAT?” with each number. Kevin gets to one, then Kevin leaves. So that was a lie, too? As for Elias/Ezekiel, what is the truth of this return/debut?

Dominik Mysterio w/ Rey Mysterio VS The Miz!

The father-son lucha tag duo may not have defeated the Most Must-See Tag Team, but Logan Paul didn’t feel like much of a winner, either. The Hollywood A-Lister gave Rey and Logan a Skull Crushing Finale on the most STUPENDOUS WrestleMania ever, will he do the same to Dom here tonight?

Raw returns as Miz makes his entrance, still wearing the Pikachu color scheme gear. The bell rings, and Miz rushes at Dom! Dom dodges and fires off shouts, then knuckle locks to go up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAG! Miz staggers, Dom runs to RNA Miz onto ropes! Dom dials it up fast, but Miz hurries to pop Dom up and HOTSHOT him on the ropes! Full nelson, SKULL-CRUSHING FINALE!! Cover, Miz wins!!

Winner: The Miz, by pinfall

Did Miz use Agility before getting out here? Because that was super fast! But wait! Is that…? YES! VEER MAHAAN has finally returned! The Lion of India has been unleashed and he storms right down to the ring! Miz bails out, he doesn’t want to suffer at the hands of that Million Dollar Arm! Veer therefore locks onto Dom and BOOTS him down! Rey goes after Veer, runs, but into the MILLION DOLLAR LARIAT! Veer roars, drags Rey up and scoops him for a SIDEWALK SLAM! Veer then looks at Dom again, and drags him back into a BIG hip drop! Veer then has the TWISTING CAMEL CLUTCH! Dom endures, taps, but it doesn’t matter because this isn’t a match!

Veer thrashes Dom as he keeps tapping, and Rey tries to get up to save Dom, but it’s no good! Veer lets Dom go, and stands over both Mysterios. This was only the beginning, who will be next for Veer’s ravenous warpath?

Bianca Belair is here!

The newEST Raw Women’s Champion heads to the ring as fans cheer her on. She’ll speak on finally getting even with Big Time Becks, after the break.

Raw returns and fans chant “EST! EST!” as Bianca holds up the belt. Bianca wants to thank everyone for never giving up on her and believing she’d finally be holding this title as her own. Fans cheer “You Deserve It!” and Bianca takes off the glasses to show she has quite the shiner. Bianca says she stands here with one good eye tonight, but she thanks Becky for that. Even back at SummerSlam, without that humiliating moment, a loss in under 30 seconds, Bianca would never have known how much better she could be. Fans cheer that on, too, and Bianca says she will never take for granted where she is. She learned that just like that, it could all be taken away. “And that hurt.”

But y’know what? Bianca didn’t cheat, she didn’t injure someone. She just went through hell and back, from SummerSlam to last Saturday. Becky says Bianca was trying to take everything from her, but Mania proved Becky was the one trying to take from Bianca. Becky came for Bianca’s throat, her hair, and her eye. And yet Bianca caught everything Becky threw at her, fought to the end, and is in front of us here tonight. And Bianca overcame all that because the fans deserved better, so Bianca became better! Bianca will be the best champion she can be! Because not only does she know what it’s like to be at the top, but how hard to stay there.

Bianca knows what it is like to have the title, to have it snatched away and to get it back. She is willing and ready to fight every single woman in the back! No woman is prepared to do what it takes to take this from her! After last Saturday, Bianca is different! She is better. So now that Becky doesn’t have the title, maybe she can take the downtime to figure out who she is without it. Bianca knows who she is! The strongEST, fastEST, the toughEST, the roughEST, the quickEST and the BEST in the WWE, your NEW Raw Women’s Champion! Bianca has been reinvigorated, will she take this title to new heights?

NXT Championship: Dolph Ziggler w/ Robert Roode VS Bron Breakker!

At Stand & Deliver, the Show-Off managed to survive the son of Rick Steiner, but those GLORIOUS controversies seemed to convince WWE that Bron deserves better. Will Bron finally break Ziggler and get that title back? Or will being on Raw give Ziggler homefield advantage?

Raw returns as Bron makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the NXT title is raised, and someone will Stand & Deliver here on Monday night!

Ziggler SLAPS Bron! And then SLAPS him again! He dares Bron to do something but he has to wait for the bell! The bell rings now, and Bron TACKLES Ziggler to a corner! Bron rams his shoulder in, then DECKS Ziggler! Bron whips Ziggler back into the corner, then OVERHEAD Belly2Belly suplexes! Ziggler bails out, Bron dares the champ to get in. Bron goes out to pursue, but Ziggler gets back in. Bron slides in and Ziggler fires off on Bron! Ziggler rains down elbows, drags Bron back up, and hits a NECKBREAKER! Then he drops an elbow! Cover, TWO! Roode coaches Ziggler, Ziggler scrapes laces on Bron’s face.

“This is the big leagues, idiot! You see this?” But then Ziggler claws Bron’s eyes! Ziggler whips, Bron reverses but Ziggler kicks him back! But Bron doesn’t budge! Things speed up as Ziggler dodges, but Bron catches the hurdle for a SPINEBUSTER! Bron seethes, he drags Ziggler up but Ziggler is in the ropes. The ref reprimands, Ziggler cheap shots Bron! Ziggler leaps, but dropkick gets caught for a CATAPULT! Ziggler HOTSHOTS off ropes! Bron then hauls Ziggler back up, RAMS him into the corner, then puts Ziggler up top. Bron climbs up after Ziggler, fans fire up but Ziggler trips Bron!

Bron lands rough on the corner, then Ziggler DROPKICKS Bron to the floor! Roode is talking trash the whole time Bron writhes on the floor, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Ziggler has Bron in an inverted Bow ‘n’ Arrow. Bron endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Ziggler headlocks but Bron powers out. Ziggler ducks and dodges to DROPKICK again! Cover, TWO!! Bron survives and Ziggler grows frustrated. Fans sing Seven Nation Army and Bron turns Famouser into POWERBOMB! Both men are down again and Roode is frustrated for Ziggler. Roode tries to rally Ziggler up and Ziggler gets Bron with a haymaker. Bron haymakers back, but Ziggler HEADBUTS! Bron denies ZigZag to CLOBBER Ziggler! And again! Bron kicks and catches Ziggler, OVERHEAD Belly2Belly!

Bron drags Ziggler up, fans bark it up, and Bron whips to LARIAT Ziggler! The straps come down and Bron aims from the corner. But Roode gets on the apron! Bron scares him off, Ziggler rolls Bron up! TWO, Bron LARAITS Ziggler, and FLIES out onto Roode! Bron hurries back in the ring but Ziggler has removed a buckle pad! Just like Saturday! RUNNING KICK, and then a FAMOUSER! Cover, TWO!! Bron survives and Ziggler can’t believe it! Ziggler aims from a corner and he starts tuning up the band. But Bron blocks superkick and powers Ziggler around. But Ziggler rakes eyes to get away! Ziggler shoves Bron, but he avoids the bare buckle!

Bron turns around, SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Bron won’t let Ziggler get him with that this time! Ziggler is desperately arguing with the ref but the count is the count. Ziggler demands Bron get up, and he retunes the band! Bron stands, and he SPEARS Ziggler inside-out! Bron drags Ziggler up to trophy lift! Fans fire up for the BREAKKER SLAM! Cover, Bron wins!

Winner: Bron Breakker, by pinfall (NEW NXT Champion)

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again! And Bron not only did that, but he succeeded! He used his second chance to become a TWO-TIME NXT Champion! Has Bron finally proved he not only belongs, but that he is THE guy in NXT?

Raw returns with MVP in the ring.

Montel Vontavius Porter has the mic to say, “They say that actions speak louder than words. And it is my privilege to introduce to you tonight a man whose actions spoke volumes at WrestleMania! A man who single-handedly, without an ounce of help, triumphed over the goliath that has been absolutely terrorizing Raw over the last year, and he didn’t even need me! Ladies and gentlemen, this man breaks the unbreakable, crushes the colossal. Without further ado, I give to you the ALL Mighty, BOBBY LASHLEY!” Lashley makes his way out and fans cheer while the pyro goes off. Lashley goes to the ring, and he’s dressed to compete!

MVP hands Lashley the mic as fans chant “BOBBY! BOBBY!” Lashley says when Omos issued the WrestleMania challenge, he couldn’t resist! Lashley had to see how strong, how powerful, how scary that man really was. And then getting in the ring with him, Lashley thought, “Are you really sure you want to do this?” But when Lashley knocked Omos on his ass, Lashley knew that it could be done. And then at WrestleMania, Lashley can honestly say Omos beat the hell out of him, threw him around, and was the strongest man he’s been in the ring with. It felt almost hopeless.

Lashley knew was his one way to win was if Omos made a mistake. And if he did, it’d be 1-2-3, and that’s what happened! But wait, here comes Omos! He stares Lashley down the entire way from stage to ring, but Lashley isn’t budging. Omos says he wants a freakin’ rematch! Lashley got a fluke! MVP lets people know that Omos wants a rematch! Lashley isn’t leaving the ring, is he going to give Omos that rematch now? Wait, MVP hits Lashley from behind?! And Omos CLUBS Lashley down! MVP has turned on Lashley! MVP rains down furious forearms as he shouts, “You didn’t need me?!” Omos drags Lashley up and MVP SLAPS Lashley!

MVP tells Omos to crush Lashley, so Omos puts Lashley in a corner to CLOBBER him! And again! Fans boo but MVP tells Omos to keep going! Omos hauls Lashley up, runs in and back elbows him again! Fans chant “YOU SUCK!” but MVP says Lashley bet he wishes he was still out. MVP then runs in to BOOT Lashley down! Omos then finishes this with a MOUNTAIN TOP SLAM! MVP raises Omos’ massive hand in victory, has the already dominant Omos just become invincible?

Liv finds Rhea backstage.

Where’s she been? What was that out there after their loss? Rhea says she was talking with Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville, and she convinced management to still give them a title shot. Well, that’s great! Liv thanks Rhea for that. Rhea says it’s fine, they can just go win those belts next week. Well, Liv4Brutality still has a shot, will they be able to redeem themselves on the road to Backlash?

Carmella & Queen Zelina Vega VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya!

Byron Saxton gives Corey Graves a hard time on commentary about Mella & Vega being former Women’s Tag Team Champions, but can the Most Beautiful Woman in the WWE and the Queen of the Ring redeem themselves here? Or will someone #TapNapOrSnap to the Queen of Spades and Queen of Harts?

Raw returns but Vega snatches the mic. Before any introductions for the opponents, she wants to get one thing straight. “Carmella. You’re the one who cost us our tag team titles at WrestleMania. You’re so preoccupied with yourself and being the most beautiful woman~, and a man who is an absolute fool for marrying you…” However, Graves is a very handsome man. Mella says how dare she! Mella is the most beautiful woman in the WORLD! Yeah, yeah, Vega won the Queen’s Crown. But when Mella first announced this engagement, she thought Vega would be a bridesmaid, but not anymore. Now she can be the flower girl.

Vega DECKS Mella! Mella scrambles away to Graves but Vega wants after her again! Vega throws Mella down and Graves hurries to check on her. Graves has Mella take his seat to catch her breath and calm her down. Mella gives Graves one hell of a kiss, and Byron is ready to barf. But it seems the tag match is off. Will the Queen of the Ring shine brighter all by herself?

The Usos find Austin Theory backstage.

They say Theory lookin’ mad, red in the face. Like he lost his dog. But is Jey sad? Nope! Why’s that? Cuz unlike some people they know, the Usos got the W! These tag titles ain’t going nowhere. The Usos gonna show RKBRO why #WeTheOnes, and why The Bloodline runs this whole damn company! Didn’t Vince McMahon say Theory was the newest chosen one? Jimmy’s pretty sure he did. They almost believed the hype. But they’d be embarrassed, too, if they lost to Stone Cold Steve Austin and an EX-NFL punter. Theory says he had McAfee beat! That fool got lucky! And he won’t even talk about Stone Cold!

Theory says Vince never makes a mistake, and Theory is the best investment he ever made. As far as Finn Balor goes tonight, he might as well be McAfee. He’s gonna catch a round, #ATownDown. Usos got Theory all fired up, will they be the ones to take down the Viper, the Stallion and the Prince?

Six Man Tag: Finn Balor & RKBRO VS Austin Theory & The Usos!

The WWE United States and Raw Tag Team Champions team up for the first time ever, but will this killer combo be able to take down Vince’s golden boy, and the boys who still have gold as the longest reigning SmackDown Tag Team Champions ever?

Raw returns and Finn makes his entrance. Then Theory makes his entrance, followed by the Usos. The trios sort out, and Balor starts against Jimmy. They circle, tie up, and Jimmy headlocks., Balor powers out, runs Jimmy over, then he DECKS Theory! Balor headlocks Jimmy but Jimmy powers out. Balor runs Jimmy over again, stomps away on Jimmy, then runs Theory off. Jimmy ROCKS Balor with an elbow, whips, but Balor reverses. Jimmy sunset flips but Balor rolls through to basement dropkick! Cover, ONE! Balor wrenches Jimmy’s arm, tags Riddle in, and Riddle KICKS that arm! Riddle waistlocks and SLAMS Jimmy, then facelocks.

Jimmy fights up, powers Riddle to the corner, Jey tags in. Jey run sin to forearm smash! Jey fires off, Theory tags in, and then Theory stomps away. Fans boo while Theory fires up and talks trash. Fans sing Seven Nation Army to remind Theory of McAfee, but Theory snapmares and stomps Riddle down! Cover, ONE! Theory brings Riddle up but Riddle fires off forearms! Theory knees low, CLUBS Riddle, then whips Riddle to the corner. Riddle DECKS the Usos, TOSSES Theory, and goes up and out to PENALTY KICK from the apron! Then Riddle springboards, only for Theory to trip Riddle up! Riddle crashes down and clutches a leg while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Jey taunts Riddle before he clamps on a chinlock. Riddle endures, fights up, but Jey keeps him from the corner. Riddle ROCKS Jey, and again, but Jey brings him in, back suplex NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Jey is annoyed but he holds up the finger. He then DECKS Balor, swings on Orton, but Orton dodges and is furious! The ref keeps Orton back, but Jey turns around into Riddle’s KNEE! Fans fire up as Riddle crawls over, hot tags to Jimmy and Orton! Fans fire up as The Viper rallies on the Usos, DECKS Theory, and POWRESLAMS Jimmy! Fans are thunderous as Orton has Jimmy in the ropes!

Jey runs in but Orton elbows him down! Theory tags in when Orton isn’t looking! Jimmy gets the DRAPING DDT! Fans fire up and Orton hears the voices, but Theory somersault SHOTGUNS Orton down! Theory gloats, but Balor tags in! GAMANGIRI! Theory is down, Balor goes up, OCUP DE- NO! Theory dodges, fireman’s carries, but Balor slips out to ELBOW DDT! Cover, Jimmy breaks it! Orton RKOS Jimmy!! Jey SUPERKICKS Orton, but Riddle flies in, SUPERKICK for Riddle! SLINGBLADE for Jey! Theory fireman’s carries, ATL!! Cover, Theory and Usos win!

Winners: Austin Theory & The Usos, by pinfall

And of course, Theory has to take a selfie to commemorate the moment. Will Vince McMahon gift wrap a US Championship opportunity for his golden boy? And if so, will Balor make sure to crush that gift with his own hands?

Edge heads to the ring!

The Iconoclast and the Phenomenal One went beyond their limits in their first-ever showdown, but there was a certain someone who helped Edge get the edge in the end. What will Edge have to say from atop his “mountain of omniscience?” We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Edge stands in his blue spotlight with the mic. “I am an honest man. I said that AJ Styles would face his judgment day at WrestleMania and he did. What I didn’t expect was for Damian Priest to appear. But it makes sense when you stop and think about it.” For most of us fans, or rather all of us, thinking is hard. But for too long, Priest fought his inner self, just like Edge. For too long, Priest tried to be a fine, upstanding role model for all the sheep, just like Edge. Fans chant, “We Are Sheep!” Very funny, idiots. But without further ado, he demands the fans all rise for the man who respects Edge’s message! The man who will be the punisher of the guilty, Damian Priest!

Priest makes his entrance, in a suit! The Archer of Infamy joins Edge in the ring, they shake hands and smile, and Priest gets himself a mic. Edge asks Priest, what was it about his “pearls of genius” that caused Priest to take things back into his own hands? “It goes without saying how much you have meant to me for a very long time. Weeks leading into WrestleMania, I was lost.” Fans chant, “We Don’t Care!” See, there was a time when that would’ve bothered Priest. Not anymore, losers! Priest tried to please the fans, to please everyone, except himself. But then he heard Edge’s words.

Fans chant, “We Are Losers!” and Priest says, “Thanks for letting us know.” But Priest says that Edge may have been speaking to Styles, but the message felt like it was directly to Priest! That is why it was so easy to make the decision to pledge loyalty to Edge. Edge says it was the best decision of Priest’s life. It was funny, though. The night Edge had his epiphany was also the same night Priest took his power back. What a coincidence! They judged Styles and will judge those who challenges Edge’s message! Their message! Edge knows Styles will keep coming for him. He wanted the Pitbull and got the Pitbull. But Pitbulls only know fight, no flight.

But Styles has to know his best option is flight. He has to think of his family, his children. They need their father. But now Styles makes his way out! Priest hurries to intercept, but Styles dodges to ROCK Priest, and RAM him into barriers! And then TOSS him over! Styles gets in the ring to TACKLE Edge! Styles rains down fists, then POSTS Edge! And then POST him again! Styles goes out to get a chair! Fans fire up as Styles gets another chair, and brings both to the ring! Styles puts Edge’s head on one, and gets the other! But Priest CLOBBERS Styles! Priest fires off, fans boo, but Priest stomps Styles down!

Priest keeps on Styles until Edge calls to him. Priest pushes Styles out of the corner and holds him up, LEG SWEEP SPEAR COMBO! Fans boo but Edge and Priest put Styles’ head on the chair now. And just like weeks ago, Edge gets the other chair. But referees and officials rush out to stop this! Fans chant for Jamie Noble as he checks on Styles, and Edge leaves with Priest. Will this dark message spread its influence through all of Raw?

The Street Profits VS The Alpha Academy!

RKBRO beat both these teams in that STUPENDOUS Triple Threat, but the chase for gold never stops! Will Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford get back up? Or will Chad Gable & Otis SHOOSH everyone #ForTheAcademy?

Raw returns and the Academy make their entrance. Then they attack the Profits! Otis throws Dawkins out, Gable waistlocks Ford, and hits a GERMAN SUPLEX! Otis POSTS Dawkins, then SMACKS him off the apron before he RAMS him into barriers! Gable CLOBBERS Ford, then says, “A thank yew~!” Adam Pearce hurries out and says if they wanted to do it like this, they could’ve just told him. So there don’t need to be tags, there are no disqualifications and no count outs, this is now a TEXAS TORNADO TAG! And it’s right now! Referee, ring the bell! The bell does ring, who stands tall when anything goes?

Texas Tornado Tag: The Street Profits VS The Alpha Academy!

The Profits fire back with haymakers! Dawkins sends Otis out then goes after him with forearms! Gable whips Ford to a corner, runs in but is TOSSED from the ring! Ford builds speed and FLIES over the corner to take everyone out! Fans fire up and Ford finds Gable. Ford and Dawkins get Gable into the ring, fans chant, “We Want Tables!” The Profits double suplex Gable high and hard, then Dawkins covers, ONE! Otis returns and fires off on Ford. Dawkins goes after Otis, they end up in a corner, Dawkins fires off fast hands and ROCKS Otis! Gable goes after Ford, Dawkins stomps a mudhole, Gable GERMANS but Ford land son his feet!

Gable comes back, FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Otis has Dawkins and Gable CHOP BLOCKS him! The Academy stomps the Profits now, Otis CLUBS Ford in a corner. Gable fires off on Dawkins and Otis chokes Ford on the ropes! Otis lets off to stand on Ford now, Gable whips Dawkins but Dawkins reverses to TACKLE Gable! Dawkins fires off forearms but Otis CLOBBERS Dawkins! Otis then runs to SPLASH Dawkins! Gable covers, Ford breaks it! Otis drags Ford back up to go after him, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and the Profits whip Otis to a corner. Otis rebounds, he CLOBBERS Ford, Dawkins dodges but Gable CROSSBODIES Dawkins down! The Academy DOUBLE EXPLODER the Profits! Gable goes up top and Otis also goes to a corner, MOONSAULT for Ford! VADER BOMB for Dawkins! Cover on Ford, TWO! Cover on Dawkins, TWO!! Gable tells Otis to get a TABLE! Gable rains down hands on Dawkins and fans fire up as Otis puts the table in the ring! Gable and Otis set the table up, Otis goes up and Gable puts Dawkins on the table! Gable CROSSBODIES Ford and himself out! But Dawkins shoves Otis down!

Dawkins goes outside to POUNCE Otis into steel steps! Ford then goes up the corner, but Gable trips him up! Gable moves the table back a bit before going up after Ford. Ford fights the superplex, Gable throws forearms, but Ford BACK HANDS Gable! Ford shoves Gable, but Gable flips to land on his feet! Dawkins ROCKS Gable, Gable ends up on the table! Ford flies in FROM THE HEAVENS and through the table!! Cover, the Profits win!!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall

Dawkins & Ford use Gable’s plan against him! Will the Profits get back up and get back to those Raw Tag Team Championships?

“Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the NEW Undisputed WWE Universal Champion… RRROMAN! REEEIGNS!”

Many of the fans here raise their hands to the sky, because who’s the one? ROMAN is the one who stands alone as the now unified world and universal champion! The Head of the Table, the Tribal Chief, #GODMODE, has Paul Heyman carrying both belts for him while the Usos are following right behind. Heyman hands over the belts so that Roman can lift them both up and set off the pyro! Then the Bloodline goes down to the ring, Roman takes a moment to take it all in, and then he holds up both belts again for more pyro. Roman even does a 360 degree so everyone can see that he has both belts.

Heyman has the mic as he admires Roman and Roman hears the fans torn between cheering and jeering. Heyman then hands the mic over for Roman to say, “I know what you want. We all know why you’re here. But we gonna switch things up just a bit. Wise Man.” “Yes, my Tribal Chief.” Why don’t you go ahead and explain The Bloodline’s success? The single longest reigning Tag Team Champions in the history of SmackDown, the Usos! The largest box office receipts in the history of SummerSlam, who was the main event? Roman Reigns! The largest box office receipts in the history of Survivor Series, who was the main event? Roman Reigns!

The FIRST BILLION DOLLAR GROSSING YEAR in the history of sports entertainment and who was on top all 365 days of it? Roman Reigns! The single biggest, largest grossing box office in the history of the Royal Rumble, and who was on top? Roman Reigns! The largest crowds in the history of WrestleMania weekend, 58% increase on Peacock from last year, and the largest grossing facilitator in the history of WrestleMania. Who was on top? ROMAN REIGNS! “Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you your Tribal Chief, the Head of the Table, the single biggest star in sports entertainment, undisputed, Roman… Reigns.”

Roman gets the mic back and fans start to chant his name. Roman knows Heyman always says this, “What’s good for Roman Reigns is good for WWE.” And it’s no secret that with Roman at the head of this table, those billion dollar deals are coming easy! And that’s because Roman is the last true needle mover, and that is because he is constantly operating in GOD MODE! But see, the Tribal Chief is so much more than that. He’s a man of his word. Roman called his shot, and he delivered! Roman said he was gonna smash Lesnar, and what did he do? “SMASHED ‘EM!” But that’s the past now. Other men would hang their hat on this weekend, but that’s not who Roman is.

Roman is a progressive chief. He is constantly moving forward. So this Friday on SmackDown, he’ll let you all know what the next step is. “But until then… Dallas, Texas. ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The Bloodline raises their fingers because they’re the ones leading the charge. But just what will the next phase be? We’ll just have to wait four more days.

My Thoughts:

Just like with WrestleMania, I don’t know if this was the most STUPENDOUS Raw After Mania, but it was a really good one. Firstly, a great, powerful return-to-WWE promo from Cody. It was a great way to frame Cody’s reasons for returning, and his journey to the title will be great. Hopefully it happens even though Roman still reigns. Then we got a bit of a quick match from Miz and Dom, and a quick return for Veer. I’m probably reading too far into this but Veer’s gear matches Miz’s right now, black ‘n’ yellow, that would imply a team-up. Veer VS Rey is happening, that’s pretty big for Veer’s return, and after WrestleMania Backlash, Veer can move on to the US title.

Sasha & Naomi VS Rhea & Liv was a pretty good match for one of these “championship contenders” matches, but then what is the point of Rhea & Liv still getting the title match even though they lost? As I said the last couple nights, Vince just can’t pace this stuff correctly anymore. Take a week, Liv and Rhea have the exact same segment sometime next week, then they get another opportunity the next week, title match for WM Backlash. Sadly, it seems like they’re teasing Rhea and Liv are breaking up already, I wish they would let some teams stick together. Though on the flipside, I’m glad Vega and Mella finally broke up, that was coming from miles away. Just not sure why Mella and Graves had to make out in front of the whole world…

Another misuse of pacing is Ziggler VS Bron II right here tonight! Bron winning the NXT title back on Raw is purely for ratings, nothing else. Bron could’ve just won at Stand & Deliver to cap that event off the right way, but no. That is crap Vince is just crapping on NXT now that he took it from HHH. But at least it was followed up by a great set-up from MVP to turn on Lashley. Omos has the manager now, they will be a good combo, and clearly we’re getting Omos VS Lashley II at WM Backlash.

We got a good promo out of Usos and Theory, and while the Six Man Tag out of Finn & RKBRO VS Theory & Usos was fun, it was too short for me. Of course Theory gets another win pinning Balor, so of course we’ll get Balor VS Theory for the US Championship, but I really hope Balor retains. It may have been put out there that Vince has given up on Balor, and Vince really only gave Balor the belt to try and prove us wrong, but he’s not fooling us with how things are going in the story. The only way Vince can keep it on the right track is for Balor to win and for kayfabe Vince to question if Theory was the right guy to back.

Bianca had a great promo for her Raw Women’s Championship win, and wow that was quite the black eye. I like that Bianca isn’t just saying she’s the EST, but that she’s still got room to improve. It’s a great idea that while she knows she’s the top of the list, she hasn’t maxed her stats out. She will continue to grow in this new reign, and that’s a great layer to all the stories she’ll be in next. A little surprised we didn’t already get a challenger for her, like Alexa Bliss, or even just someone she’s faced before like Doudrop. But there’s the rest of the build to WM Backlash, Bianca will make the best out of just about anything, and fans are still behind her.

Edge and Priest had a very good moment together, and I found it oddly amusing that the fans were willing to chant self-deprecating things, and then it was great for Styles to rush out there. Edge and Priest end up standing tall, but Styles will take on Priest and perhaps get some momentum back. Styles VS Edge II can be WM Backlash, and we’ll have to see how things go there. And then we got a great Texas Tornado Tag out of Profits VS Academy. Profits get a great win with that table splash spot, and one way or another, it seems like Profits are going to get another title shot.

And then of course, the NEW Undisputed WWE Champion closes us out, with both Roman and Heyman giving us great promos. I know people out there were expecting “IF YA SMELL~” and The Rock showing up, but I don’t know why. Well, okay, I know why: Roman VS Rock for WrestleMania Hollywood is too big of a moment for Vince or anyone to pass up, but we’re an entire year away from that. I’m sure Roman will tease it on SmackDown this week, but there is so much time. Sometimes fans have as bad of a pacing problem as Vince does.

I’d make it where The Rock waits to “ACKNOWLEDGE” Roman even wants this match, then he starts to put pressure on Roman so that SummerSlam feels intense, Survivor Series feels intense, and the Royal Rumble feels intense. And as I’d think Roman retains through all of that, have The Rock return on that night, and he recreates the moment from years ago where Rock held Roman’s hand up and fans booed. That will bring Roman full circle even more than finally beating Brock, and they can spend January to March 2023 building up Roman VS Rock, for the right to be truly called the greatest in WWE and in their family.

My Score: 8.5/10