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Mitchell’s WWE Royal Rumble Results & Report! (1/27/23)

3… 2… 1! BRR!

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Time to play it by the numbers!

The Road to WrestleMania begins right here with the Royal Rumble! Who will make it through 29 other superstars to then main event in Philadelphia?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 2024 Women’s Royal Rumble match: Bayley wins and will challenge for a title at WrestleMania 40.
  • Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Fatal 4 Way: Roman Reigns VS Randy Orton VS AJ Styles VS LA Knight; Roman wins and retains the title.
  • WWE United States Championship: Logan Paul VS Kevin Owens; Logan wins, by disqualification, and retains the title.
  • 2024 Men’s Royal Rumble match: Cody Rhodes wins and will challenge for a title at WrestleMania 40.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the Royal Rumble Kickoff Show!

Join Jackie Redmond, Booker T, Wade Barrett and Peter Rosenberg in discussing, analyzing and predicting all of the action tonight!

 

Backstage interview with Rhea Ripley.

Kayla Braxton walks up to the Women’s World Champion as she is “very deep in thought.” Kayla asks if it’s okay to talk for a second. Rhea says, “Only if it’s for a second.” Kayla says Rhea is watching the ring, what’s going through her mind. Just looking at it, remembering last year when she won it. And wondering who is gonna pull it off this year. Which woman is gonna win the 2024 Royal Rumble match? And, who are they gonna challenge? Because if they choose Mami, they’re just throwing away their golden ticket to WrestleMania. But Rhea wouldn’t put it past them.

Kayla notes Rhea won from number one, so any advice to who ended up number one tonight? Rhea laughs and says, “Good luck, because there’s only ever been one woman to accomplish that, and that’s me. And it’s gonna stay that way.” But Kayla’s been here long enough, time to leave. Kayla agrees and hurries away. Will the winner of the Rumble choose to press their luck by choosing the Women’s World Champion?

 

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Byron Saxton is with The Wise Man as he holds onto Roman Reigns’ Universal Championship, and Byron says that tonight, Roman Reigns has his back against the wall in this Fatal 4 Way. What kind of mindset is Roman in knowing he could lose the championship without actually losing the match? Heyman says that’s a good question but it’s also only a half-truth. Byron’s better than that. Tell the truth. Welcome to the final night of Roman’s reign. That’s how the WWE wants it, right? WWE doesn’t have a system set up anymore for a champion that last three and a half YEARS! They don’t have a system to promote a dynasty anymore!

WWE doesn’t want the New York Yankees, the Boston Celtics, the LA Lakers or the Dallas Cowboys! They want a champ in, a champ out, and a new replica title while we’re at it! That’s the new system, isn’t it? It isn’t designed for Roman Reigns! For Roman to be a champ going on four years! That is why “this villainous James Bond,” Nick Aldis has put Roman Reigns in this Fatal 4! This practically guarantees Roman loses! Keyword: practically. The last time Roman was put in a situation like this, it was across the bay. And what’d he do then? He stacked Daniel Bryan and Edge, pinned them both.

Now Heyman is not suggesting tonight, Randy Orton, LA Knight and AJ Styles get stacked. But he’s not suggesting they won’t, either. Because in the end, Roman defies the odds. Roman goes past three and a half, heads towards four, and heads to WrestleMania 40 as not only Your Tribal Chief but as reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion! And while the panel can sit there and offer predictions, this, ladies, gentlemen and Byron Saxton, is what they call… a spoiler. Heyman heads out, but will his “spoiler” be what gets spoiled by a contender?

 

Peter Rosenberg takes us on a tour of backstage.

Peter Rosenberg walks over and Grayson Waller & Austin Theory mockingly call him “Sam Roberts.” Wow, nice haircut. Peter corrects them but says it’s okay, he likes them. Theory’s going into his third Rumble, how is he feeling? How is he feeling? He’s Austin Theory! He’s a veteran of the Rumble now. Then has he imparted wisdom on Waller? Yes, and they’re gonna do something special. Something that hasn’t been down in roughly 20 years! Two men are going to win the Rumble, and those men will be Waller & Theory. They don’t care who it is, whether it’s CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, or Austin-

No, wait! Waller would never throw Austin out. A-Town Down Under for life! Peter says okay and he heads further along. He’s going along the path to gorilla, and oh, there’s CM Punk! Punk, please wait there, Peter will be right with you! But first, it’s R-Truth! Why is he in the batting cage? Truth says sup, dawg! This is a whole different set of balls. He wants to reenter for a new number. These don’t open like those balls last night. Truth, these are MLB baseballs. What? No, Truth doesn’t play baseball. The Rumble lottery had balls that pop open to get a number. Well, okay. You keep at it, Truth. Judgment Day 4 Life. Gesundheit.

Peter heads out and very exciting for him now. Chicago’s own CM Punk! Punk thanks Peter and he was just Facetiming Larry. Larry misses Punk. Peter points out ten years ago, the last time Punk was in a WWE match, it was the Rumble. Did he ever imagine being back here? No, but that’s the great thing about life and about the WWE. It isn’t the same old Punk, in that he is a bit older. But he’s still the Best in the World. Any nerves? He seems calm. Oh, he is calm, but if he said there were no nerves, he’d be lying. He left because things no longer made him nervous and he needed to fix that. So he is nervous, but he’ll make those butterflies fly in formation.

Then welcome back. Punk appreciates it. They shake hands, and Peter continues through gorilla to get on the runway, and boom, the curtain. The portal to glory! Peter walks out on stage to see the fans and this reminds him so much of the time John Cena came back at spot number 30 and won it all. Can the panel hear him? Booker confirms, they can. Peter says Booker should’ve made his return this year so that he could go on this shorter ramp and not blow himself up before sliding into the ring. Ha ha. But Booker admits, that’s a good point. Peter says hi to the fans, they cheer as we’re nine minutes away from the main show.

St. Pete is ready for history to happen, but there’s still plenty of kickoff show so stick around!

 

Backstage interview with Triple H.

Kayla says it is intense already, but what is special about the Royal Rumble? What is special about tonight? HHH says it is the fact it begins the road to WrestleMania, and perhaps the biggest WrestleMania of all time this year! 30 men, 30 women, pour their hearts and souls into that ring all for one thing, and that is to live the dream of main eventing WrestleMania 40! That road starts here. On top of that, there are already 40 THOUSAND PLUS screaming maniacs about to blow the roof off of Tropicana Field. So what’s special about tonight? Everything! It all begins here. And like the man said, if you’re gonna come and you wanna rumble, you better be ready.

So then HHH will answer the question with a question of his own: “Are you ready?” Fans fire up but he says, no no, ARE! YOU! READY?!? The Game has set the tone, who will answer by winning it all?

 

“This place is special.”

Hulk Hogan tells us that he spent most of his life around St. Pete, Clearwater, Florida. “Beautiful to look at, rich with wrestling history. It shaped some of the best. So if you’re gonna waltz down here and kick the hornet’s nest, then you better be ready. And not just any ‘ready.’ Rumble Ready.” Everyone works out to the max, until they’re sweating and panting. Hogan knows what it takes to win, and he also knows that “nights like tonight are when names are made, legacies primed, and tickets punched. Unfortunately for a few, you gotta go through him.” The Fatal 4 Way looms, and everyone loves a prize fight!

“WWE Universe, let ’em hear ya, brother! Clear a path! Because the Royal Rumble is here! Whatcha gonna do when the Royal Rumble runs wild on you!?”

 

Pat McAfee is here!

Corey Graves is upset but the fans love that Pat is back! He is going to be special guest commentator for the night and Michael Cole is ready to have some fun right alongside him!

 

2024 Women’s Royal Rumble match!

Just as The Game and the Hulkster said, it is time for 30 hungry and determined superstars to pour their hearts and souls out in the ring, but only one will get to punch their ticket to WrestleMania 40! Who wins big to then move on to the biggest Showcase of the Immortals in history?

First out, it’s the Queen of Harts, Natalya! And joining her as number two, it’s NAOMI! She returns to make an impact on the Rumble, will we all #FeelTheGlow? The bell rings and fans are fired up already to welcome Naomi back. Naomi fires up being back home, and she shakes hands with Natty. The two former champions circle, tie up, and Natty headlocks, Naomi powers out, but Natty runs her over. Natty cheers herself, but things speed up. Naomi hurdles, Natty waistlocks, but Naomi pries the hold and booty bumps. Naomi whips, Natty dodges and Naomi hits buckles! Natty gets Naomi up to sit her down! Natty steps on Naomi, but Naomi RANAS!

Fans fire up and Natty gets up, but Naomi slides under! Naomi kangaroo mule kicks, but Natty blocks. Natty trips Naomi, dropkicks her, and now we get entry number three! It’s BAYLEY! The Role Model had a bad reaction to her number last night, but will she make the best out of a bad situation? Bayley stares down Naomi and Natty, welcomes Naomi back, and then revels as the fans cheer her on. Bayley fires off on Natty and Naomi but Naomi hits back. Bayley knees low, whips Naomi to a corner but Naomi reverses. Bayley reverses back but runs into the TWERK ATTACK! Natty then DISCUS LARIATS! REAR VIEW from Naomi!

Naomi gets Bayley for a BULLDOG, but Natty basement dropkicks them both! Natty throws Naomi at ropes but Naomi holds on! Bayley helps out, she and Natty mug Naomi then go to lift her out! Fans boo but Naomi fights them off. Bayley ROCKS Natty, whips her, and then ELBOWS Her down! But now we get entry number four! Naomi JAWBREAKERS Bayley, but here comes Candice LeRae! The Poison Pixie is here, she runs down and slides in to then fire off on Bayley! Natty fights with Naomi while Candice stomps away on Bayley! Fans are torn, but then Natty drags Candice back to scoop.

Candice slips free, kicks low, and she kicks Natty’s legs out. Then BUZZSAW! Then the step-up CODE BREAKER SENTON COMBO, taking down Bayley and Natty! Naomi stares Candice down and they tie up. Candice arm-drags, but then Naomi dodges, scoops, but Candice RANAS free to ENZUGIRI! Bayley runs up to CLOBBER Candice! Fans fire up but Candice hits back. Bayley CLUBS Candice, RAMS her to a corner but Candice fights. Natty tries to scoop Naomi up and out again but the countdown is back. Entry number five is… JORDYNNE GRACE?! The TNA Knockouts Champion is here?!?

Grace, who took her title off Naomi, runs in to run Candice over! And Bayley over! And Natty over! And then she sends Bayley into Natty to GERMAN SUPLEX Bayley! And then scoops Natty to SLAM her! Candice leaps, but Grace catches her to POWERSLAM! Naomi stares her rival down and fans fire up! They hug it out! Fans cheer that, but then they start firing off forearms and the fans cheer that even more! Grace ROCKS Naomi, scoops her, but Naomi slips free to BOOT! Grace ELBOWS in return, then pump handles, MADE IN JAPAN! Grace drags Naomi up, pushes her to ropes, but Naomi holds on.

Bayley CLUBS Grace, stomps Natty, but Natty holds on. Grace CLUBS Bayley back, then she kicks at Natty. Natty still holds on, the countdown is back, and we get entry number six. It’s INDI HARTWELL! Indi hurries down to reinforce Candice, she throws Bayley down and CLUBS and JABS Bayley! And then LARIARTS Natty! And LARIATS Grace! Bayley hits back but runs into a SPINEBUSTER! Candice teams up with Indi, WHEELBARROW SPLASH! The Way work together to go after Bayley, but Natty storms in to get her own shots. Grace almost throws Candice out but Candice holds onto ropes!

Bayley fights back as Indi and Natty both try to throw her out, and then Bayley lands on the apron! Bayley slides back in to safety! Natty scoops Candice but Candice resists. The countdown is back, number seven is ASUKA! The Empress of Tomorrow just won the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships back, and now she’s in the Rumble! Bayley is rather confused by this, she thought she had this solo. Naomi stomps Bayley in the distraction! Asuka MISSILE DROPKICKS Indi and Natty down! Fans cheer and Asuka says she’s here to help Bayley! Well, okay, if she says so. They double whip Natty, then DOUBLE LARIAT!

Fans cheer as Asuka signals high-five, but then leaves Bayley hanging to go after Indi. DMG CTRL double whip, then DOUBLE LARIAT again! They get Indi up but Indi fights back with forearms! Indi whips, Asuka reverses and Indi goes up and over! Indi holds on but Asuka ROUNDHOUSES her! HIP ATTACK misses and Indi has Asuka! Bayley saves Asuka, fires off on Indi but Indi DECKS Asuka! Indi drags Asuka up and out but Bayley BLASTS Indi to ELIMINATE her! Fans cheer but the countdown is back. Number eight is… IVY NILE! The Diamond Pitbull gets her Rumble debut, and she’s ready to take a bite out of the field!

Ivy dodges Bayley, tilt-o-whirls and RANAS her, then ELBOWS Asuka! Ivy whips Asuka into a corner, runs up and DROPKICKS! Ivy scoops Naomi, to POWERSLAM! Fans fire up with Ivy as she stares down Natty. Natty dodges Ivy, makes her sit down, but Ivy turns that around to send Natty to a corner. Ivy ROCKS Natty, Natty RAMS into Ivy! Candice fights Grace off, Bayley and Asuka go after Naomi but she fights them off. Naomi ROCKS Bayley but Asuka ROCKS Naomi! Bayley talks trash on Maggle Cole, but the countdown is back. Number nine is… Katana Chance! The former WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion hurries to get revenge!

Candice dodges Katana but Katana handsprings to RANA! Then she KICKS and KICKS Asuka to sweep the legs and basement dropkick! Grace runs in, Katana dodges, but Grace turns wheelbarrow into back suplex! Ivy scoops Candice to FALL AWAY SLAM! The two seem to be indirectly competing as powerhouses. They both suplex Katana and Candice to show off their stalling powers! Then they both SLAM them down! Fans fire up as Ivy and Grace kip up and stare down. They go after each other, block and dodge, but then Ivy ROCKS Grace! Grace PELES Ivy! Fans fire up while Asuka fights off Natty.

The countdown is back, and number ten is here! It’s BIANCA BELAIR! The EST marks getting through one third of the field, and she slingshots in to fire off on Bayley and Asuka! Bianca CLUBS away on Asuka but Bayley runs up! She and Asuka mug Bianca, but the fans rally as Bianca turns double whip into DOUBLE BLOCKBUSTER! Bianca TOSSES Bayley up and over, but Bayley holds on! So Bianca TOSSES Asuka! Asuka holds on, Katana runs up but Bianca elbows her away! Bianca scoops Katana to FALL AWAY SLAM! Katana staggers up, Bianca fires off in the corner! Fans count and Bianca goes all the way to seven before Candice goes after her!

Bianca backflips over Candice to RAM Candice into Katana! Then she fires off hands on them both! But Bayley gets Bianca! Bianca backflips up and over her, then wrenches to suplex! Fans fire up as Bianca SPINEBUSTERS Candice, then gives Katana the GlamEST Slam onto them both! The countdown is back while Bianca HANDSPRING MOONSAULTS all three!! Number 11 is Kairi Sane! DMG CTRL has three members in, and the Pirate Princess is ready to help Asuka and Bayley! She flies in to CLOBBER Bianca! Then she dodges Katana to INTERCEPTOR SPEAR! Fans fire up with the Kabuki Warriors!

Bayley also joins in the celebration btu still seems like a third wheel. They all mug Bianca anyway but she fights back. They whip Bianca, trip her, then KICK, AX KICK, BULLDOG and DOUBLE BASEMENT DROPKICK! DMG CTRL makes sure the ESET is the sorEST. They throw her at ropes but she holds on. The Kabuki Warriors mug Bianca but Candice has Bayley for a SLEEPER! Bayley throws Candice away, Asuka runs in, but Candice puts Asuka on the apron! Kairi runs in, she’s also put on the apron! The Kabuki Warriors stay off the ground, Bayley runs in but Candice throws her out, too!

But then DMG CTRL swarms! They drag Candice up to TOSS her and ELIMINATE her! The countdown is back, and number 12 is… TEGAN NOX! The Girl with the Shiniest Wizard flies in, then DECKS Bayley! And DECKS Asuka! And fires off on Ivy! Nox CLOBBERS Ivy, UPPERCUTS Bayley, and then hits Naomi. Nox choke grips Katana to CHOKE SLAM! Nox fires up, and CANNONBALLS Bayley! Nox hurries up top, and hits a MOLLY-GO-ROUND on Bayley! But then Grace CLOBBERS Nox, hauls her up, but Natty makes the save! Natty & Nox mug Grace but Grace shoves Natty. Natty DISCUS LARIATS in return!

Nox and Natty hug it out as tag partners, but then Natty whips Nox! Nox reverses and TOSSES Natty out to ELIMINATE her! But then Bayley TOSSES and ELIMINATES Nox!! Bayley says that’s what they get! The countdown is back, and “lucky” number 13 is… Kayden Carter! The party ramps up as Katana’s teammate is here! Kayden helps Katana with the SILLY STRING RANA on Bayley! Then a BOOT WASH! then IMPLODER LEG DROP! Kayden runs up to BOOT WASH Asuka! KC Squared get Asuka up but Kairi runs in! Kairi is sent up and over, but she manages to GRIP the apron and stay off the floor!!

Fans fire up as Kairi fights gravity, Asuka tries to help her, but Katana BOOTS Kairi! They ELIMINATE Kairi, and then Bianca HANDSPRING KICKS Asuka down to ELIMINATE her! Bayley is all alone, and upset that the plan didn’t work out. Then Bayley gets mugged by Bianca and KC Squared, but the countdown is back. Number 14 is… “Shh! It’s Chelsea.” Chelsea Green, that is! Chelsea struts her way into the ring, but Bianca TOSSES her up and out! Cheslea lands safe, she won’t be eliminated so fast this year. But then Bianca TOSSES her the other way! Chelsea stays safe, slides in, and hits a ZIGZAG?!

Fans fire up with Chelsea but then Grace SPINEBUSTERS her! Grace and Bianca stare down as the strongEST in this match and fans love it! Grace kicks Bianca, whips, but Bianca reverses. Grace goes up but skins the cat! Fans fire up as Grace ELBOWS Bianca then whips her out! Bianca stays on the apron, RAMS into Grace, and then Bianca dumps Grace out. They brawl on the edge, this is risky as Bianca torture rack’s! APRON K O D!!! Grace falls, Bianca ELIMINATES her!! The fans are thunderous as Bianca proves she really IS the StrongEST! But Bayley CLUBS Bianca! The countdown is back, and number 15 is… Piper Niven!

Chelsea’s pal is here, marking the halfway point of this match. But KC Squared is after the Hot Mess! Piper hurries, she catches Chelsea before she hits the floor! Chelsea smiles, but then so does Piper! Piper fakes Chelsea out, no dumping here. Piper sets Chelsea on the steel steps, then storms into the ring. Katana RANA blocked, Piper makes it a POWERBOMB! Kayden hops on, but Piper SLAMS her onto Katana! DOUBLE SENTON! Ivy runs up but gets a HEADBUTT! Piper wrenches and reels Bayley in, SAIDO! Chelsea helps get Bayley in a corner, Piper scoops Naomi to SLAM! Chelsea gets Naomi in another corner.

Piper SPLASHES Ivy, then SPLASHES Bayley, then SPLASHES Chelsea as Naomi gets away! Piper panics a bit, Kayden CLUBS away on Piper! Bianca joins in, as does Ivy! They know Piper is the biggest in the fight so they gotta stop her now! They drag Piper up, the countdown is back. Number 16 is… XIA LI! The Exterminator returns from her excursion to NXT, and she rushes into the ring! Xia BOOTS Kayden! And BOOTS Bayley! And HEEL KICKS Ivy! And DROPKICKS Piper! Kayden kicks and whips but Xia reverses to send her to a corner, RISING FIST! Clinch and EXPLODER! Xia fires up and fans are torn, but Chelsea gets Xia!

Xia turns chicken wings into torture rack! But Piper runs up, only for Chelsea’s boots to hit her! And again! Xia spins, UFO NECKBREAKER! Xia drags Chelsea up, Bianca holds on to kick Naomi away, and Bianca is safe. Piper goes after Xia, CLUBs her, Bayley BOOTS Katana. Bianca scoop SLAMS Naomi, then SPLASHES! The countdown is back, and number 17 is… ZELINA VEGA! La Muneca spreads her cybernetic wings before getting into the ring. She ROCKS Katana, pushes her aside, but Kayden goes for a buckle bump. Zelina turns that around, GAMANGIRIS Kayden, then climbs the corner to METEORA!

Bayley scoops Ivy, Zelinda kicks Katana’s legs out to KNEE her down! Zelina wheelbarrows Naomi to send her into Naomi! But then Piper storms up on Zelina! Zelina dodges, runs, and fires off forearms! Piper HEADBUTTS back, then whips Zelina to a corner. Zelinda goes up but gets caught before she gest over! Piper spins Zelina but Zelina uses that to DDT!! Fans fire up and Zelina hops on, but Chelsea SUPERKICKS Zelina down! KC Squared mug Xia, then MONKEY FLIP SENTON onto Piper! The countdown is back, and number 18 is… MAXXINE DUPRI! She makes her Rumble debut, ready to SHOOOSH everyone!

Maxxine dodges Bayley, tilt-o-whirls and RANAS! Maxxine says “A THANK YEW~!” but Bayley fires off on her in return! Bayley whips Maxxine, Maxxine tilt-o-whirl again, and goes around and around to RANA Bayley! “A THANK YEW~!” But Piper storms up on her! Maxxine fires forearms but it doesn’t do anything! Piper shows fist and Maxxine falls! Maxxine then grabs Piper’s leg to anchor her. Bianca helps Zelina hop on, but Piper blocks Code Red! So Bianca KNEES Piper to get it to work! Fans fire up and Bianca helps Zelina get Piper up! They go for the ropes but Piper holds on! Kayden helps out, but that’s not enough!

Chelsea makes the save and she fights the others off. Bayley keeps after Maxxine, Piper BLASTS Kayden out to ELIMINATE her! But the countdown is back and number 19 is… NIA JAX! The Irresistible Force storms her way up, confident as ever. Nia catches Zelina off the top rope to THROW her into Xia! Xia hits Nia with shoulders and headbutts, but then Nia picks Xia up to put her on the apron! HEADBUTT, Xia falls, Nia ELIMINATES her! Ivy goes after Nia but Nia pushes her up and over! Nia POSTS Ivy, Ivy falls, Nia ELIMINATES her, too! Chelsea runs up but Nia scoops! Piper runs in, Nia sends her into Chelsea!

Nia comes back, Piper sends her into Chelsea! Piper suplexes but Nia is too big! So Piper RAMS Nia into Chelsea! And again! And again! Poor Chelsea, she’s a ragdoll now! Piper tries to wake Chelsea up, Nia DECKS Bayley! And DECKS Bianca! Zelian runs up, as do Bayley and Bianca! They all work together but Nia HEADBUTTS them all away! Nia and Piper run in, to SANDWICH Chelsea!! Then Nia HEADBUTTS Piper! Piper runs up, but Nia scoops?! To SLAM Piper onto Chelsea! Nia soaks up the heat, but Naomi FLYING CHUCKS! Nia falls onto Chelsea! And number 20 is here! It’s SHOTZI! She rides her tank to the ring!

Fans fire up for The Wild Child while Naomi brawls with Piper. Nia CLOBBERS Naomi in return! Naomi DROPKICKS Nia down, then Piper SENTONS! Noami hits a LEG DROP! Shotzi goes up, BALLPIT SENTON!! Fans fire up and Maxxine swivels her hips a la Otis! REVERSE WORM! Maxxine, Shotzi and pretty much everyone gets Nia up! They all push her, but Naomi EXPLODES free!! Fans boo as Nia proves she is be the strongest! Bayley TOSSES Maxxine to ELIMINATE her! Nia HEADBUTTS Piper, Shotzi goes after Zelina. Nia shoves Piper up and out, BLASTS her down and ELIMINATES her!

Fans boo but Nia waits for someone to bring it., Katana runs up, but Nia scoops her! Nia trophy lifts Katana to TOSS her onto Piper, Chelsea and Xia to ELIMINATE her! The countdown is back, and number 21 is… BECKY LYNCH! The Man has come around to St. Pete and the fans are thunderous! And Becky eyes Nia! Becky dodges Nia, fires off fast hands, then UPPERCUT! SOBAT! Clinch, but Nia elbows free! Nia HEADBUTTS Becky, throws her out but not down! Becky KNEES, KICKS and climbs up! Becky MISSILE DROPKICKS Nia down! Fans fire up with Becky, but Zelina runs up! Becky gets around, dragon sleeper!

Shotzi runs up, Becky kicks her! DOUBLE DDTS! Bayley runs up, but into a BECKSPLODER! Becky hits a forearm in the corner, then sends Chelsea into Bayley! Nia runs in but Chelsea dodges, the SPLASH hits Bayley! JUMP KICK for Nia! JUMP KICK for Bayley! Chelsea pulls hair, but Becky throws her out! Becky sees Chelsea on the apron, pats her on the head, and shoves her down! Becky ELIMINATES Chelsea! Fans fire up and the countdown is back. Number 22 is… Alba Fyre! Isla Dawn accompanies her wicked companion to the ring, and Fyre gets in to SUPERKICK Bayley! Fyre TOSSES Bayley at ropes!

Bayley holds on, Bianca runs in! Fyre gets her for a TORNADO DDT! Fyre kicks Zelina, Gory Especials, but Shotzi runs up! Fyre blocks and manages to add Shotzi to the GORY BOMB! Fans fire up as Fyre and Becky brawl. Nia sends Fyre to a corner, misses and Fyre SUPERKICKS! Becky whips Fyre, Fyre reverses to put Becky outside! Nia runs up and CLOBBERS Fyre! Nia drags Fyre up to throw her over, but Fyre holds on! Nia gloats, though, as she SPLASHES Becky and digs her boots in. Naomi has Bayley for a CORNER BULLDOG! The countdown is back and number 23 is… Shayna Baszler!

The Queen of Spades wastes no time to get in, she CLOBBERS Becky! And DECKS Bayley! And twists Fyre’s arm for a double wristlock suplex! But Bianca waistlocks, only for Shayna to switch and GERMAN SUPLEX! Shayna throws Fyre again, then kicks Shotzi to gut wrench SLAM! BIG KNEE for Shotzi! Nia runs up, but Shayna manages to SAYANAGI! Fans fire up and Shayna goes after Fyre. Fyre fights her off, Shotzi kicks Becky away to then CROSSBODY! Bayley drags Bianca up by her hair and goes for ropes! Bianca kicks her away, the countdown is back and number 24 is… “Valhalla,” Sarah Logan!

But wait, is that R-TRUTH!? He’s in the wrong Rumble!! He slides in, sees everyone in the ring, and then sees Nia! He calls for a timeout, he thought this was the Men’s- Nia TOSSES Truth! Pearce is there to tell Truth this is the WOMEN’S Rumble! Sarah gets in, but Nia TOSSES her out and ELIMINATES her! Sarah is furious and wants after Truth!! Pearce gets Truth out of there while Naomi JAWBREAKERS Nia! Naomi runs, Zelina ROCKS her at the ropes. Zelina runs in to METEORA! The countdown is back and number 25 is… MIA YIM! Michin is ready to prove she’s the Head Baddie In Charge!

Mia dodges Fyre to then SPRINGBOARD TORNADO DDT! Mia ROCKS Becky, Shayna waistlocks but Mia switches! Mia catches Bayley, URENAGE DDT COMBO! Mia SOBATS Shotzi, reels her in and shouts out Styles, only for Nia to CLOBBER them both! Naomi TOSSES Fyre but Fyre holds on! Mia goes after Becky, Fyre shoulders in but into a KICK! And then HEATSEEKER! Fyre falls back, Naomi ELIMINATES her! Becky fires fists on Mia, Shotzi bumps Bianca off buckles, and Bayley CHOKES Nia on the ropes while talking trash on Maggle! The countdown is back, and number 26 is… ZOEY STARK!

Fans fire up as The Hunter runs up and springboards in to MISSILE DROPKICK Mia! And SUPERKICK Becky! And then she spins Naoim around, short arm LARIAT! Stark kicks Shotzi’s legs out to then SLIDING KNEE! Stark stomps Zelina, reels her in, but Zelina RANAS free! Zelina kicks low, hops on, but Shayna drags her off the Code Red! KIRAFUDA KLUTCH! Shayna throws Zelina up and over, but Zelina HOTSHOTS! Shayna kicks, misses, and ends up on the apron! Zelina ROCKS Stark, KICKS Shayan, and RANAS, but Shayna blocks! Shayna gets Zelina up, Stark GAMANGIRIS so Shayna can BOMB Zelina onto Fyre, and that ELIMINATES her!

Stark & Shayna mug Naomi in a corner, the countdown is back again, and 27 is… ROXANNE PEREZ! The Prodigy of NXT is here, even with her NXT Vengeance Day title match on the horizon! Roxie gets in, dodges Stark and hits a THESZ PRESS! Becky runs up, Roxie ROCKS her! Roxie runs to fire off on Shayna but Shayna whips her away. Roxie reverses to then UPPERCUT! Roxie sends Stark into her, UPPERCUTS again, then runs to tilt-o-whirl RANA Stark! Roxie kips up and fans fire up with her! But Bayley TOSSES Roxie! Roxie holds on, skins the cat, and she RANAS Bayley away! But Nia storms up on Roxie!

Roxie dropkicks legs out, ROCKS Nia, but Nia URENAGES Roxie down! Shayna runs up to get Nia in a TRIANGLE HOLD! Nia powers up and deadlifts Shayna to TOSS her and ELIMINATE her! Nia HEADBUTTS Mia, and TOSSES her out to ELIMINATE her! Nia CLUBS Stark, Shotzi runs up but into a kick! Nia reels Shotzi in to get her up, and she BOMBS Shotzi out onto Shayna and Mia to ELIMINATE her! The countdown is back and number 28 is… JADE CARGILL!!! The storm has arrived in WWE and the fans are thunderous! Nia snarls as the “new girl” finally makes her in-ring debut!

The fans are losing their minds as Nia and Jade are face to face! Then they fire forearms! Jade gets the edge, but Nia fireman’s carries! Jade fights free of that, to fireman’s carry back!! And then WIDOWMAKER! Jade aims and BOOTS Nia to ropes! Then Jade scoops Nia, to TOSS and ELIMINATE her!!! Nia is stunned and even Becky’s jaw drops! The fans lose their minds again and Becky says that’s what Nia gets! Bayley goes after Jade but Jade ELBOWS her away! Jade ROCKS and SUPERKICKS Becky! Jade runs in but Becky dodges, Jade POSTS herself! And the countdown is back! Number 29 is… TIFFANY STRATTON!

The Wrestling Barbie makes her Rumble debut at a prime spot, and she runs right up to go up top, and she SWANTONS everyone! Fans fire up for #TiffyTime, and she stares down Becky. This is a rematch from their NXT Women’s Championship feud, and they fire off forearms! Tiff LARIATS Becky, whips her, then SPINEBUSTERS! Roxie runs in, Tiff dodges to cartwheel ALABAMA SLAM! Tiff runs corner to corner to handspring and ELBOW Becky! Tiff snapmares Becky to DOUBLE STOMP! Tiff drags Becky up to TOSS her, but Becky holds on! Becky ROCKS Tiff but Tiff ROCKS Becky!

Tiff grabs at Becky but Becky holds on. Bayley goes after them both, then lifts Tiff up. Bianca fights off Roxie and Stark, Roxie ROCKS Stark! Roxie lifts Stark, the countdown is back, and number 30 is… LIV MORGAN! Fans fire up as Liv makes her return at the most opportune moment! Liv takes her time, then runs up to CODE BREAKER on Stark! BACKSTABBER for Bayley! SLINGBLADE DDT for Tiff! ObLIVion for Bayley!! Fans fire up but then Stark SUPERKICKS Liv! Stark whips Liv but Liv reverses to send Stark up and out! Stark ROCKS Liv, but Liv BLASTS Stark and ELIMINATES her!

Fans fire up and Liv says thanks! Tiff cartwheels again but Roxie swings free of the Alabama to RANA Tiff to a corner! Roxie runs in, Tiff dumps her out! Roxie dangles, Tiff BOOTS her and ELIMINATES her! “Tootles, loser!” Iyo Sky is watching backstage, knowing someone here could be challenging her soon. But the same goes for Rhea Ripley as she also watches. The fans fire up as the final seven brawl! Bianca is after Liv, Jade is after Becky, Naomi has Tiff, and Bayley is the odd one out. Bayley helps Naomi against Tiff, but then Jade trophy lifts Becky! Bianca does the same to Liv! They DUMP their opponents away, and stare down with each other!

Fans are thunderous as these two step forward, but Bayley and Tiff CLOBBER them! Fans boo but Bayley rains down hands on Jade. Tiff tries to lift Bianca but Bianca CLUBS her down! Naomi DROPKCIKS Bayley! Jade BOOTS Naomi! Jade bumps Naomi off buckles, Naomi turns things around to fire off forearms! Naomi whips, Jade reverses then hits a SPINEBUSTER! Becky runs up and clinches, but Jade fights the slam! Jade fireman’s carries and puts Becky up top. Becky kicks Jade but Jade fires hands! SUPERKICK! Becky falls, but she holds on by one hand! Naomi DROPKICKS Jade! Naomi runs, but Jade puts her into the ropes!

Becky falls!! Then Jade TOSSES Naomi! Jade ELIMINATES Naomi AND Becky!!! Fans can’t believe it! Meanwhile, Tiff puts Liv on the apron, then Bianca! Bianca ROCKS Tiff, she and Liv drag Tiff up and over, they mug Tiff but Tiff fights back! Liv CODE BRAEKERS Tiff, Tiff grabs Bianca’s hair! Bayley BOOTS Bianca, she and Tiff fall, Bayley ELIMINATES them both!! And we have our final three: Bayley, Liv and Jade!! The fans are thunderous again as these three stare down. “This is Awesome!” as Bayley has already lasted over an hour. These three fire off, Bayley going after Jade! Jade ROCKS Bayley, Liv tosses Bayley!

Jade CLUBS Liv, Liv ENZIGIRIS back! Liv fires hands, Jade hits back, Liv runs up to ObLIV- NO, Jade blocks! Bayley runs up, Jade dumps her over! Bayley holds on, Jade brings Liv up to throw her over! Liv holds on, she and Bayley mug Jade, deja vu from how things went with Bianca! Jade holds ropes, kicks Bayley and Liv away, but Liv stops her from skinning the cat! Liv and Bayley mug Jade, Jade fights back! BOOT for Bayley, kick and KICK for Jade! Liv runs up, but Bayley gets away, Liv RANAS Jade down! Bayley DROPKICKS Liv down!! BAYLEY WINS!!

Winner: Bayley, from number 3 (2024 Women’s Royal Rumble winner)

Incredible!! The Role Model promised it, and she came through! Will DMG CTRL soon own ALL the gold on Raw and SmackDown? As for everyone else, how will they find their way down the Road to WrestleMania?

 

Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Fatal 4 Way: Roman Reigns VS Randy Orton VS AJ Styles VS LA Knight!

All three challengers have reason to tear into the Tribal Chief, and Nick Aldis made sure the Tribal Chief would have to deal with them all at once! Will the odds finally be too much for even Roman Reigns to overcome? Or will he find a way to smash ’em, stack ’em and pin ’em just like he did at WrestleMania 37?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is truly the Head of the Table!

The bell rings and fans fire up as the four stare down. Styles and Knight argue, but Orton keeps his eyes on Roman. Roman watches his three challengers as they all turn their attention on him. He wants them to hold on, but they all creep up! They go after Roman in the corner and fire off! Fans fire up as they all stomp Roman! Knight then CHOKES Roman, Styles and Orton dig boots in. They keep firing off on Roman, but then Styles starts a brawl with Knight! Knight fires back, ‘YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” The fans keep saying that as Knight RAMS Styles in a corner!

Knight fires hands but Styles CHOPS in return! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Orton has Roman on the outside, keeps on him with UPPERCUTS, but Styles CHOPPS Knight! Knight CHOPS back! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Orton SMACKS Roman off steel steps while Knight LARIATS Styles! Knight TOSSES Styles out, storms out after him, but Orton fires hands on Roman. Knight SMACKS Styles off the desk! And again! And again! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Pat even joins in on “YEAH!” Roman storms up on Knight but Orotn get shim, BACK SUPLEX on the desk!

Fans fire up and Knight says okay, BACK SUPLEX on the desk for Styles! Knight says that was good, huh? But then Orton kicks Knight to back suplex, only for Knight to land out of it! Knight SMACKS Orton off the desk again and again, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” The fans cheer as Knight then lines up a shot, but Orton dodges the knee, to BACK SUPLEX Knight on the desk! Orton snarls as he goes back for Roman. Orton fires hands, then RAMS Roman into the steel steps! Roman writhes, but Orton looms over him. Orton drags Roman up and puts him in the ring.

Orton stalks Roman, paces around him, then stomps a leg! Even Heyman felt that one! Orton stomps Roman’s other leg, then stomps Roman’s hand! Roman writhes, Orton just stomps his other hand! Orton kicks Roman around, stomps him on the face, and Roman staggers up. Orton clotheslines Roman up and out! Styles CHOPS Orton! And ROCKS him! And CHOPS! And ROCKS! Styles whips, Orton comes back to LARIAT! Orton rallies on Styles, dodges and SNAP POWERSLAMS! Fans fire up but Knight runs in! Knight fakes out the powerslam to SLIDING KICK! Roman returns but Knight gets him for a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!

Fans rally as Knight stomps on Orton, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight lets off to spell it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” KNEE WASH! Knight then DECKS Styles off the apron! But Roman CLOBBERS Knight! Cover, TWO! Roman stomps Orton’s hand as payback, then he stomps Knight down. Roman huffs and puffs, throws fists down on Knight, but hears the fans chant, “ROMAN SUCKS!” Roman wags his finger, he stalks Knight to a corner, and he BOOTS Styles off the apron. Knight kicks Roman in return! Knight throws hands but Roman ROCKS him! Roman fires point-blank clotheslines in the corner!

Fans boo as Roman goes up to nine, then runs side to side, LEAPING LARIAT! Fans boo more but Roman sneers. Roman paces around Knight, drags him up, and HEADBUTTS him back down! But Styles CHOP BLOCKS Roman! And KICKS the leg! And KICKS it again! Styles kicks Roman to ropes, whips, but Roman reverses to back drop! Styles flies high and lands hard from that one! Roman hobbles a bit but he soaks up the heat as he raises the finger to the sky. Roman then locks ‘n’ loads, aims at Knight, and runs up, but Knight dodges! Knight JABS! JABS! And JABS!

Knight has Roman wobbling around with every punch, then DECKS him! Fans fire up, Knight whips but Roman reverses. Knight LEAPING LARIATS! Then DDTS! Orton returns, but Knight scoops him to SLAM him! Cover on Orton, TWO! Knight storms up on Styles but Styles BOOTS him! Styles goes up, adjusts, but Knight ROCKS him first! Styles almost falls to the floor but Knight drags him back up. Knight fires more hands, then climbs up after Styles. Knight hoists Styles up but Orton CLUBS Knight! Orton whips Knight to the other corner, runs up, but into a BOOT!

Knight goes up, leaps, FLYING BULLDOG! But then he goes right up after Styles, to SUPERPLEX! Fans fire up while everyone is down, but Roman stands! Roman swings, Knight spins that around, B F T!!! Cover, Styles breaks it!! Orton drags Styles up but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! LARIAT takes Orton down! Styles fireman’s carries Knight for USHIGOROSHI! All four men are down again but Styles shakes out his leg. Styles hobbles after Roman, brings him up, but Roman UPPERCUTS! Styles ducks the lariat to PELE! Styles reels Roman in, gets him up, STYLES CLASH!!! Cover, Knight breaks it in return!!

Fans rally up, Orton sends Knight into the ropes! Orton gets Knight hanging out, for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up as Orton hears those voices in his head! Orton watches Knight, but Styles is lurking! Orton sees him, runs up, but Styles ROCKS him! Styles goes up, but into an RKO!! Orton gets Knight, RKO!!! Orton snarls, Roman runs up, RKO!!!! Orton crawls to the cover, but SOLO SIKOA YANKS THE REF FROM THE RING!! As if the Fatal 4 Way wasn’t saving Roman one way or another, The Enforcer has to get involved! Orton glares at Solo, Solo storms up but Orton gets him!

Solo gets free, to SAMOAN SPIKE!! Fans boo as Solo storms in, drags Knight up, and SAMOAN SPIKES!! Solo roars, and he drags Knight onto Orton. Solo is helping Roman stack bodies! Solo looks for Styles, finds him on the outside, and he takes aim. Solo runs in, HIP ATTACK through the barriers!!! But Styles got out of the way!! Solo takes himself out of this! Roman sees the gift Solo put together in the ring and grins, but then realizes what happened to Solo. Roman looks around, and Styles PHENOMENAL FOREARMS!! Roman’s on the stack?!? Styles covers, TWO?!?!?!

Whoever it was that kicked out saved everyone from Styles taking this one! Styles is beside himself but “This is Awesome!” Styles goes to a corner, he watches the other three stir, and Heyman is panicking. Styles goes out and looks under the ring. Styles brings out a chair! Styles brings the chair into the ring, but Heyman tells him to stop. Styles ignores Heyman, aims at Roman, and JAMS him! Then SMACKS him! Then SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS! Then he JAMS Roman up some more! Styles glares at Knight and JAMS him, too! And SMACKS! And SMACKS! And SMACKS!

Styles says one more, and he points at Orton. Orton rises up, and he pokes Style sin the eyes! Orton UPPERCUTS Styles away, but Roman SPEARS Orton!! But Roman can’t make the cover before Orton flounders out of the ring! Knight gets Roman, BIG back suplex! ELBOW DROP! The fans are thunderous again, Knight fires up, and he clinches, but Roman shoves him into Styles to trip up the forearm! SUPERMAN PUNCH for Knight! SPEAR for Styles!! Cover, Roman wins!!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall (still Undisputed WWE Universal Champion)

The Tribal Chief literally used his opponents against each other, and he survives in St. Pete! The Road to WrestleMania is still going through the Island of Relevancy, but can Roman make it through Philadelphia?

 

WWE United States Championship: Logan Paul VS Kevin Owens!

The Maverick runs his mouth like no other, but he’s (mostly) found ways to back it up. However, he said his steel reinforced punch could knockout anyone, but The Prizefighter took that shot and stood back up! Will Kevin #JustKeepFighting until he’s once again United States Champion? Or will Logan find a way to KO KO?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Logan will regret being so ImPAULsive!

The bell rings and Kevin stares down Logan’s smug smirk. Logan wants a handshake, and Kevin smirks at Logan’s stupid joke. Kevin kicks low and fires off hands! And CHOPS! And stomps away at the rope! The fans fire up while Logan bails out. Kevin goes out after Logan but Logan kicks back. Logan whips, Kevin reverses and he sends Logan into barriers hard! Kevin then storms up to bring Logan around, and send him into more barriers! Kevin shouts, “This is MY show!” and the fans fire up! Kevin CHOPS Logan, SMACKS him off the apron, and pushes him into the ring. Logan runs up, Kevin dodges and ELBOWS him down!

Kevin SENTONS onto Logan, then covers, ONE!! Logan is still in this but Kevin drags him up. Kevin CHOPS Logan and fans fire up! Kevin tells the Logan Paul fans to “SUCK IT!” then GERMAN SUPLEXES Logan! Logan ends up in a corner, Kevin runs in, but Logan bails out! Fans boo but Kevin goes out. Logan RAMS Kevin into the apron! And he SMACKS the bad hand on the apron! Logan says boohoo, he don’t care. But then Kevin CLOBBERS Logan! SENTON on the floor! Kevin looms over Logan while the ring count climbs. Kevin stands Logan up to CHOP! Logan sputters, Kevin CHOPS him again!

Kevin pushes Logan in to the ring, but then Logan STOMPS Kevin’s bad hand! And PLANCHAS hard! Logan drags Kevin up, RAMS him into the apron, and then throws knees. Logan POSTS the bad hand! And again! Kevin clutches his hand, Logan RAMS him into the steel steps! Logan fires up, fans boo, but Kevin gets in. Logan springboards in, CROSSBODY on Kevin! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Logan clamps onto an arm for a double wristlock! Kevin endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Kevin HEADBUTTS Logan, whips, but Logan reverses to clamp on an IRON OCTOPUS! Logan tortures the bad hand!

Kevin endures, powers free, throws elbows, but Logan knees low! Logan wrenches the arm, arm-drags Kevin, and he punches away on the bad hand! Kevin endures, fans boo, but Logan rips away the protective tape! The ref reprimands as Kevin grabs at Logan’s nose! Logan knees low, UPPERCUTS and UPPERCUTS, then UPPERCUTS Kevin down! Fans boo but Logan grins, as he runs to SPLIT LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Kevin SLAPS Logan! Logan and Kevin slowly stand up, Logan puts Kevin on ropes and wraps the arm around ropes! Logan pulls on the arm, the ref counts and Logan lets off.

Logan then runs up to KICK the rope! The rope jams up Kevin’s arm, then Logan CHOKES Kevin! Logan lets off to soak up the heat, and he mocks Rey Mysterio! But Kevin ducks the 619! And he LARIATS Logan down! The fans fire up and Kevin grits his teeth, before he SENTONS, but onto knees! Logan saves himself, drags Kevin up and CLUBS him. Logan UPPERCUTS, then UPPERCUTS, then UPPER- NO, Kevin hooks those arms! Logan fights the backslide so Kevin knees low, fisherman, AOI SHODOU!! Kevin shouts out another KO with that shot, but he and Logan are both down as the ref counts.

The fans rally, Logan stands, but Kevin HEADBUTTS him! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Logan ends up in a corner, Kevin CHOPS away on him! Then stomps away on him! Kevin goes corner to corner and back again, “SUCK IT!” CANNONBALL! And then another CANNONBALL! Logan flounders but Kevin climbs, and Kevin FROG SPLASHES! Cover, TWO!! Logan survives but Kevin doesn’t lose his focus. Kevin goes right back up, to SWANTON BOMB but onto knees!! Logan does it again, and he hurries up top now! Logan SWANTON FLOPS as Kevin moves! Both men are down while fans rally up!

Logan goes to the apron, Kevin goes after him! Kevin drags Logan up but Logan HOTSHOTS him! And then slingshots, to BUCKSHOT!! Logan hurries back up, to DIVING SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!! Kevin survives and Logan can’t believe it! Logan’s got a bloody nose but he wipes that away, then fires himself back up. Logan storms after Kevin to UPPERCUT, then he puts Kevin up top. Logan climbs, tells Corey Graves that he said no man can superplex Kevin. Watch this! Well, Kevin proves Corey right with the SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Cover, TWO!!! Logan survives again but Kevin keeps his cool.

The fans rally up again as Kevin stands. Logan stands, Kevin runs up to kick and- NO, Logan stops the stunner by pulling on the bad hand! Logan KICKS the arm, then undoes his own hand tape. Logan winds up that steel fist, but Kevin SUPERKICKS first! Then whips for the POP-UP- NO, Logan gets free! Only for Kevin to kick! Logan powers out of the stunner, ONE LUCKY PUNCH!!! Cover, TWO?!?!?!? Kevin survives the knockout fist and Logan has no idea what to make of that! Logan calls to his buddy, but the ref spots him! The ref tells security to eject “Jeff!” Logan pleads with the ref but there’s nothing he can do!

Jeff pretends he’s not trying to do anything, but Logan still goes up. Logan leaps, Kevin gets under, DOUBLE LARIATS take both men down! Wait! A-Town Down Under runs out here! They vouch for Jeff, but then Theory is the one who sneaks the brass knuckles to Logan!! Fans boo as Logan hurries to equip them! But Kevin rolls Logan up! TWO!!! Kevin blocks the brass knuckle punch and he PUTS THEM ON!? BRASS KNUCKLE PUNCH!! Cover, but the ref sees the knuckles?!?!? Kevin forgot to hide the evidence! The ref DISQUALIFIES him!!

Winner: Logan Paul, by disqualification (still WWE United States Champion)

In Kevin’s defense, he forgot hot to be a proper scumbag after redeeming himself after all these years. Logan survives, but Kevin says screw that! He CLOBBERS Logan! And RAMS him into steel steps! Kevin clears the desk! Fans fire up as Kevin hauls Logan over, gets him up, POWERBOM through the table!!! The fans are all fired up because Kevin puts Logan in his place! But will Kevin have to #JustKeepFighting if he wants to get that belt back?

 

2024 Men’s Royal Rumble match!

With Roman Reigns still Universal Champion, and Seth Rollins still World Heavyweight Champion, those are the two to choose for a main event on the Grandest Stage of Them All! We’re 70 days away from the biggest WrestleMania of all time, but who survives 29 other superstars to have a guaranteed spot on the card?

Starting off the Rumble at number one is JEY USO! Well, he is Main Event Jey! And joining him as entry number two is JIMMY USO?!? The brothers are gonna fight it out to start!? Yeet VS No Yeet, that is the question! The fans are losing their minds already as the bell rings. The Usos step to each other, and they agree that they gotta do what they gotta do. They start throwing hands, and fans “YEET!” for Jey! Jey counter punches, punches, and punches! Jey pops ‘n’ locks and does the bounce, to ROCK Jimmy! Jimmy goes up and out but he holds on! No yeet yet, and Jimmy GAMANGIRIS! Jimmy storms in, but into a SAMOAN- NO, Jimmy slips free!

Jimmy kicks low, pops ‘n’ locks to UPPERCUT! Jey blocks the superkick, ducks the Dragon Whip, and he SUPERKICKS Jimmy down! The fans fire up and Jey goes up the corner. Jey USO SPLASHES onto knees! Jimmy’s the only one who knows Jey better than Jey! But now the countdown is here, and number three is… Grayson Waller! The Aussie Icon has a mic to say that he’s gonna make this a Grayson Waller Effect! He doesn’t care about this sibling rivalry! Main Event Jey is a flop! “Yeet” is the most cringe thing he’s ever heard. Jey coming out first lik he’s gonna do something, no wonder Bloodline kicked him out!

Jey SUPERKICKS Waller off the apron! Waller is still in this because he never actually got in the ring, though. But Jimmy whips Jey! Jey reverses, sends Jimmy up and over, but Jimmy holds on! Waller somersaults to COMPLETE SHOT! Waller drags Jimmy up and says he acknowledges the Bloodline. They mug Jey and fans boo! Waller talks trash, Jimmy drags Jey up to the ropes, then he and Waller try to dump Jey out! The countdown is back already, and Jey fights off the others while number four is here. “EL! IDOLO!” WHAT!? ANDRADE ALMAS IS BACK?!? The fans are thunderous as he makes his way to the ring!

Waller is confused as to who El Idolo even is, but Andrade steps to him. Waller shoves Andrade, Andrade CHOPS! Waller fires hands, CLUBS Andrade, and runs, into the boot feint and ELBOW! Jimmy stomps Jey, but then runs up on Andrade. Andrade dodges to CLOBBER him! Jimmy and Waller are in corners, Andrade fires up and the fans are with him! Andrade has Jimmy CIEN SHADOWS! Then CIEN SHADOWS for Waller! Then snap suplex, Uno Amigo! Fans fire up as Andrade hits Dos Amigos! And then Three- NO, Waller fights it! Cravat and KNEE! Waller then BOOTS Andrade in the corner!

The countdown is back, Jimmy fires off on Jey, and number five is… CARMELO HAYES! Fans fire up as we see the Royal Rumble debut of… HIM! Melo makes his way down to ringside, dodges Waller, and springboards to FLYING LARIAT! Melo fires off on Waller, dodges Jimmy and the SUPERKICK hits Waller! Melo SUPERKICKS Jimmy, then coordinates with Jey. Melo baits Waller into Jey’s SUPERKICK! Andrade gets up, he circles with Jey and Melo. Melo kicks Andrade, Jey joins in and they mug the returning Idolo. But Waller somersaults ack in, into the FIRST 48!! Melo clotheslines Waller up and out to ELIMINATE him!

Fans fire up for Melo, he don’t miss! Andrade stomps Jey, Melo fires hands on Jimmy.  The countdown is back, and number six is… SHINSUKE NAKAMURA! The King of Strong Style has won a Rumble before, will he win another? Fans fire up as Nakamura fires off on Melo, BOOTS him to the corner, then gives Melo BAD VIBRATIONS~! Nakamura puts Melo on the top rope, runs in, but Melo dodges the knee! Nakamura elbows Melo, INVERTED EXPLODER, but Melo lands out of it! Melo springboards, into a GAMANGIRI! SLIDING KNEE! Nakamura and Jimmy stare down, and Jimmy offers a handshake. Nakamura ROUNDHOUSES him!

Nakamura fires off on Andrade, ENZIGIRI! Andrade staggers, Nakamura brings him up to bump him off buckles. Now for more BAD VIBRATIONS! The countdown is back, number seven is… SANTOS ESCOBAR! The Emperor of Lucha is here and he takes his time going to the ring. Andrade turns things around on Nakamura, Jimmy and Jey brawl, and Melo stays out of the way. Santos GAMANGIRIS Jey, ducks Nakamura’s kick and CALF KICKS back! Jimmy waistlocks but Santos elbows free, to JUMP KNEE! Santos goes corner to corner to DOUBLE KNEE Nakamura! And then DOUBLE KNEE for Jimmy!

Santos sees Melo running in, POP-UP GUTBUSTER! And then he locks eyes with an old friend. Fans fire up as Santos shakes hands and hugs Andrade. Is El Idolo going to be Ungovernable? Yes! But ty hen Santos goes to throw Andrade out! Andrade reverses that, puts Santos on the apron, then runs up! Santos kicks him back, they brawl, Andrade CHOPS but Santos KNEES back! Jimmy hoists Nakamura up, Andrade stomps Jey, and the countdown is back. Number eight is… KARRION KROSS! The Final Testament’s ferocious leader makes his way out, Scarlett and Paul Ellering accompanying him.

Kross storms in to fire off on Melo! Kross shoves Melo to LARIAT him inside-out! Fans boo as Kross and Jimmy stare down, Kross fires off on Jey instead! Jimmy grins, and he runs in to HIP ATTACK Jey! Fans boo as these two continue to mug Jey. Nakamura stomps Melo, Jimmy and Kross agree on No Yeet. Andrade and Santos run up and they brawl with Kross and Jimmy. Nakamura goes after Melo, Andrade goes after Nakamura! The countdown is back and number nine is… DOMINIK MYSTERIO! Fans boo as hard as they have all night as Dirty Dom makes his way out, and Dom just soaks it all up as he gets in the ring.

Melo turns things around on Jimmy, Nakamura stomps Andrade, and Jey turns things around on Kross. Dom doesn’t hurry in, he revels in the boos. Dom then slides in when there’s an opening, and he goes after Kross! Wrong choice! Kross EXPLODERS Dom away! Kross fires off on Dom, then he goes after Nakamura. Dom goes after Jey instead, and Kross hauls Nakamura to ropes. Nakamura holds on, and the countdown is back. Number 10 is… CARLITO! The fans fire up for Caribbean Cool as he makes his way down to the ring. Santos stares him down, and Carlito slides in, only for Santos to slide out!

Carlito fires off on Dom, on Nakamura, on Andrade, and then back to Dom! Carlito whips Dom but Dom kicks back! Dom runs again, but Carlito CLOBBERS him! Fans rally up and Carlito brings out… AN APPLE! Carlito takes a bite, but then Santos returns! Santos throws Carlito out but Carlito stays on the apron! Santos and Dom nod, but Carlito SPITS the apple in Santos’ face! Carlito TOSSES and ELIMINATES Santos!! The fans fire up, but then Kross goes after Carlito. The countdown is back and number 11 is… BOBBY LASHLEY! Kross hits Carlito with The Final Prayer, but he’s gonna need a hope and a prayer against The All Mighty!

Lashley storms in and he SPEARS Nakamura! And SPEARS Jimmy! And MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTERS Andrade! Dom cowers in a corner to avoid Lashley, then he kicks low! Lashley just gets mad! Dom runs, into a SPEAR! Kross sees Lashley, and fans fire up as these two stare down. Lashley runs in, Kross sends him into Carlito to BLAST him off the apron! Lashley ELIMINATES Carlito, then SPEARS Kross anyway! Lashley TOSSES Kross to ELIMINATE him! Melo and Andrade go after Lashley, but Lashley is disappointed. Wait, AOP makes their way out here?! Lashley hoists Melo up but he sees Akam & Rezar.

Andrade CHOP BLOCKS Lashley, he and Nakamura get Lashley up! Lashley lands on the apron, DECKS Nakamura but Andrade GAMANGIRIS! Kross YANKS Lashley down to ELIMINATE him!! Fans boo but Lashley just goes after the Final Testament! That’s a 3v1 mugging, until the PROFITS rush out here! Dawkins & Ford LEAP into the fight and these six all fight to the back! The fans fire up and the countdown is back again! Number 12 is… LUDWIG KAISER! The Impeccable German has to avoid the brawling first, but he still makes his way to the ring. GAMANGIRI for Melo! Ludwig throws down fists while fans boo!

Ludwig hits a PENALTY KICK on Dom, then forearms on Jey! Dom kicks, Ludwig blocks, “NEIN!” UPPERCUT! Nakamura tries to dump Melo out, Andrade fires off on Jimmy, and Ludwig stomps Dom. Ludwig then goes after Nakamura with fists, but the countdown is back already! “Lucky” number 13 is… AUSTIN THEORY! Mr. ATL heads to the ring, RAMS into Ludwig, then somersault SHOTGUNS! Theory storms up on Jimmy but Melo fires off on him! Theory ELBOWS back, then hits ATAXIA! Theory TOSSES Melo up and out but Melo lands on the apron. Melo holds ropes to keep in this, but Theory kicks at him.

Jey tries to throw Ludwig out, Nakamura fires off on Andrade, and Jimmy is after Dom. The countdown is back again and number 14 is… FINN BALOR! The Prince is here but he better hurry while Dom is dangling! Finn slides in, he DUMPS Melo and ELIMINATES him! Finn helps Dom up, then they mug Ludwig! Finn hits Andrade, Andrade hits back. Dom stomps Theory, Andrade whips but Finn reverses to SLINGBLADE! Finn rains down fists on Andrade, throws him over but Andrade holds onto ropes! Jimmy UPPERCUTS Ludwig, Finn stomps away on Andrade. The countdown is back again and number 15 is… CODY RHODES!

The fans fire up as The American Nightmare marks the halfway point of this match, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro then gets in the ring, to CLOBBER Theory! And CLOBBER Finn! Theory fireman’s carries but Cody slips free to dragon sleeper. Theory knees free, but Cody dodges to springboard, CODY CUTTER! Cody TOSSES Theory and ELIMINATES him! Fans fire up as the weight belt goes flying! Free souvenir! But then Finn fires off on Cody! Dom adds on, they stomp away. Jimmy and Ludwig mug Jey, but the countdown is back again. Number 16 is BRONSON REED! This match just got that much bigger!

Reed slides in, he CLOBBERS Cody! And HEADBUTTS Nakamura! reed drags Cody up, sends him into Nakamura, and then he SPLASHES them both! Finn & Dom go after Reed, they double whip, but he crisscrosses them to DOUBLE LARIAT! Reed puts Finn up, then picks Dom up! He double fireman’s carries, for a DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP! Meanwhile, Cody fights off Ludwig and Jimmy. Andrade fires off on Reed, dodges him in a corner, then boot feints, only for Reed to TOSS and ELIMINATE him! Fans boo, but then Cody and Nakamura stare down. Nakamura says “C’MON~!” So Cody fires off shots! Nakamura fires back!

Cody ducks a kick but not the WHEEL KICK! The countdown returns, and number 17 is… KOFI KINGSTON! Kofi has always made moments in the Rumble, but will he finally win one? Kofi fires off on Ludwig, THESZ PRESS and fast hands! Nakamura tries to suplex Cody out but Cody fights free! Kofi CROSSBODIES Ludwig, Cody DISASTER KICKS Nakamura! Cody drags Nakamura into a CRHOSS RHODES HOTSHOT! Nakamura falls, Cody ELIMINATES him! Fans fire up, but then Ludwig ELBOWS Kofi down. Cody goes after Jimmy while Finn & Dom go after Reed. Ludwig scoops Kofi, Cody rains down TEN punches on Jimmy.

Ludwig goes to throw Kofi but Kofi flips that to RANA Ludwig! Ludwig hangs on, but Kofi TRIANGLE JUMP KICKS! Ludwig falls, Kofi ELIMINATES him! The countdown is back and number 18 is… GUNTHER! Der Ring General storms out here, ready to avenge last year’s loss. He’s disappointed in Ludwig, though. Gunther gets in, Kofi fires off on him! Gunther shoves and CHOPS Kofi down! Finn kicks but Gunther CHOPS him down! Dom runs up, CHOPS, but Gunther just frowns. Gunther CHOPS Dom down! Jey RAMS into Gunther, but Gunther turns him around, to CHOP him down! Jimmy likes that, offers a handshake, but Gunther DECKS him!

Reed scoops Gunther! Gunther fights free, and CHOPS! Reed wobbles, and Gunther SCOOP SLAMS him!! Fans fire up, but Cody stares Gunther down. They revisit last year’s Rumble, Cody kicks and RHODES UPPERCUTS! But Gunther CHOPS! Kofi runs up to ROCK Gunther! Kofi goes to dump Gunther out! Gunther holds onto ropes, he and Kofi brawl! Gunther CHOPS Kofi down, then drags him up! Gunther drags Kofi to the top rope but Kofi holds on! Gunther DECKS Kofi, he falls, Gunther ELIMINATES Kofi! No escape artist trick this year. The countdown is back, and number 19 is… IVAR!

The War Beard storms his way down, and he gets in, only for Dom to fire off hands! Ivar grabs Dom by the face, but shoves him away as Finn runs in! SPINNING POWERSLAM! HEEL KICK for Dom! Ivar runs in, Cody dodges but Ivar gets him with a SEATED SENTON! Ivar cartwheels to dodge Jey, and he LARIATS! But Gunther clamps on a SLEEPER! Ivar RAMS Gunther into the corner, fires off elbow after elbow, then roars! Ivar BOOTS Jimmy down! Ivar and Reed stare down, revisiting their recent rivalry! They LARIAT back and forth and fans chant “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Both men run to DOUBLE CROSSBODY!

The countdown is back, and number 20 is… BRON BREAKKER! The Big Bad Booty Nephew makes his Rumble debut and he runs in to SPEAR Jimmy! Then he POP-UP POWERSLAMS Finn! Bron dodges Ivar, to CLOBBER him! Bron fires up and the fans bark it up! Bron clotheslines Jimmy up and out to ELIMINATE him! Bron SPEARS Finn! Then TOSSES him to ELIMINATE him! But then Gunther stares Bron down. Fans fire up as Gunther grins at Bron, then CHOPS! Gunther reels Bron in, hoists him up, but Bron slips free to trophy lift! Gunther slips free, Bron dodges the chop to SPEAR!! Bron is all fired up, but the countdown is back.

Number 21 is… OMOS! The Nigerian Giant, and MVP, returns at an opportune time. Omos storms right into the ring, Ivar goes after Bron and Cody fights off Gunther. Cody runs up but Omos CLOBBERS him! Omos BOOTS Gunther, CLOBBERS Jey, then choke grips Dom. CHOKE SLAM for Dom!! But reed fires off hands! Omos doesn’t budge! Reed runs, but into a BOOT! Reed is stuck on ropes, Omos DUMPS him out and ELIMINATES him! Ivar runs, springboards, into Bron’s SPEAR!!! Fans fire up as Bron TOSSES and ELIMINATES Ivar! Then Bron looks at Omos. The countdown is back, and number 22 is… PAT?!

Pat is surprised that this is happening! But he takes his headset off and he gets in the ring! Fans fire up as Pat storms into the ring, but then realizes Bron and Omos are the ones still standing. Pat hesitates, then goes up the corner so he can go up and over the ropes! Pat then changes his mind and steps back in, but then changes his mind to go back up and out. Pat hops down and ELIMINATES himself! Fans are disappointed, but then Omos pats Bron’s head. Bron fires off haymakers! Omos sends Bron to a corner, Bron dodges, and then he CLOTHESLINES Omos up and out to ELIMINATE him! But then Dom DUMPS Bron to ELIMINATE him!

The countdown is back, and number 23 is… JD MCDONAGH! The Irish Ace makes his way over, but Bron SPEARS him down! Gunther keeps after Cody, they brawl, Cody tries to haul Gunther up and out! Jey fires off on Dom, and Jey puts Dom up top. Dom fights Jey and Gunther turns things around on Cody. Gunther whips, but Cody KICKS! Cody TOSSES Gunther over, but Gunther holds on! Gunther gets in safe, the countdown is back, and number 24 is… R-TRUTH~! He finally has the right match! Truth sees JD there on the ramp, puts him in, and then Jey clotheslines JD up and out to ELIMINATE him!

Truth says that’s what JD gets! Truth then hurries up, and wants Dom to tag him in? Fans rally up, Dom says no! That’s not what this is! Gunther has a SLEEPER on Dom! Dom wants Truth to get in but Truth wants a tag! Dom JAWBREAKERS free, HOT TAG TO TRUTH! Truth rallies on Gunther, fires those Cena shoulders, then hits the SPIN-OUT BOMB! Fans fire up as Truth says “YOU CAN’T SEE ME~!” Truth runs, but into a BOOT from Gunther! Gunther shrugs, but then Cody goes for a leg. Gunther CLUBS Cody, stomps Truth, so Cody fires off on Dom. The countdown is back, number 25 is… THE MIZ!

The Rumble is now awesome as Miz makes his way out, then gets in to fire off on Gunther! Miz fires “IT KICKS!” Gunther shoves him away, but Miz ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl DDTS! Then he BOOTS Dom! Miz sees Truth, but he lets off because they’re the Awesome Truth! They DOUBLE HIP TOSS Jey! And they still got the pose down! Miz gets Dom up but then Truth stops Miz! Truth still thinks he’s Judgment Day! Miz tries to explain, but Gunther CLOBBERS Truth! Dom drop toeholds Miz onto ropes, dials it up, 619! The countdown is back, and number 26 is… DAMIEN PRIEST! Senor Money in the Bank is here, ready to add to his golden ticket collection.

Priest DECKS Truth!! Fans boo but Priest is done with games! Priest TOSSES Truth out to ELIMINATE him! But Miz fires off on Priest! Priest trips Miz and fires off hands! Gunther UPPERCUTS Dom! Priest TOSSES Miz but Miz holds on! Priest stands Jey up but Jey fires hands! Fans “YEET! YEET!” but Priest catches Jey for a FLATLINER! Priest ROCKS Gunther, then choke grips, to take him SOUTH OF HEAVEN! Cody runs up on Priest, but into a choke grip! Cody gets free, dodges Priest and sends him into buckles! Cody suplexes Priest to put him on the apron! Priest suplexes back but Cody fights it!

Cody and Priest fight for suplex control, Cody fires forearms! But Priest ROUNDHOUSES! The countdown is back, and number 27 is… CM PUNK! The fans fire up again as The Best in the World is back! And it’s “CLOBBERING TIME~!” Punk storms into the ring, but Priest throws him to a corner! Punk dodges to then ROUNDHOUSE! Miz runs up, Punk spins him around to NECKBREAKER! SHINING WIZARD for Jey! SHINING WIZARD for Dom! SHINING WIZARD for Miz! SHINING WIZARD for Priest! BULLDOG CLOTHESLINE COMBO for Priest and Miz! Fans fire up, Punk throws his shirt off, free souvenir!

But Dom runs up on Punk! Punk blocks that, and he TOSSES Dom out to ELIMINATE him! Fans fire up and Punk says night night. But then Priest ROLLING ELBOWS! The countdown is back again and number 28 is… RICOCHET! The One and Only is back, wearing the colors of Tropicana as he makes his way out. Ricochet gets in, slides under Miz, and springboards to CROSSBODY! Priest picks Ricochet up, puts him on the apron, but Ricochet RAMAS into him! Gunther swings, misses, and Ricochet GAMANGIRIS! Ricochet springboards to CROSSBODY Gunther now! Fans fire up, but then Priest LARIATS Ricochet inside-out!

Priest ELBOWS Miz in a corner, puts him up top, but Miz fights back. Cody helps out, they mug Priest, but Gunther CHOPS Miz down! Miz falls, Gunther ELIMINATES him! Punk kicks Ricochet, scoops, and SLAMS him. Gunther DECKS Priest! The countdown is back, number 29 is… DREW MCINTYRE! The Scottish Terminator can count himself very lucky to come back this deep into the match. Cody goes to throw Ricochet but Ricochet holds on. McIntyre gets in to DECK Cody, DECK Punk, but Gunther BOOTS McIntyre! McIntyre BOOTS Gunther! And he RAMS Ricochet! And then OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY SUPLEXES him!

McIntyre stands Jey up but Jey ROCKS him first! And again, and again! But McIntyre LARIATS Jey and rains down fists! Then McIntyre stares Priest down. They fire off fast hands and the fans fire up! Priest kicks and kicks and kicks, to ROLLING ELBOW! But McIntyre SPINEBUSTERS! Jey is up, he SUPERKICKS McIntyre! Gunther swings, Jey dodges, and Jey SPEARS Gunther!! Jey SUPERKICKS Gunther over the ropes! Jey hurries to push Gunther but Gunther drags Jey up and over to throw down! Gunther ELIMINATES Jey!! But the countdown is back, and number 30 is… SAMI ZAYN!! Fans fire up for the Great Liberator’s return!

Sami storms right in to dodge Gunther and go right after McIntyre! Gunther goes after Sami but Sami fires off hands! Then he goes back for McIntyre! Punk tries but Sami throws hands on him, too! Sami goes back to McIntyre again while Cody dumps Ricochet. Ricochet stays safe on the apron, Priest kicks Sami to scoop him! Sami slips free, TOSSES Priest, but Priest holds on! Gunther goes after Sami but Sami throws elbows! Sami runs to clothesline McIntyre up and out! McIntyre holds on, Gunther CLUBS Sami! Gunther CHOPS Sami, but Ricochet fires off on Gunther. Gunther pushes Ricochet, but Ricochet hits the RECOIL!

Ricochet goes after Priest but Priest choke grips! SOUTH OF- NO, Ricochet slips free, ducks and PELES! McIntyre scoops Ricochet but Ricochet slips free! Ricochet goes to the apron, GAMANGIRIS, then steps back in. McIntyre blocks the kick, and he TOSSES Ricochet up and over to ELIMINATE him! We have our final six: McIntyre, Punk, Gunther, Sami, Cody and Priest! Fans fire up for this star-studded set, and the brawl is on! Sami has Mcintyre, Priest has Cody, Gunther has Punk! Punk fights the scoop, Priest clinches Cody but Cody fights free! Cody underhooks, PEDIGREE! Gunther SHOTGUNS Cody!

Punk KNEES Gunther! McIntyre hits FUTURE SHOCK on Punk! Sami catches McIntyre for a CORNER EXPLODER! Sami aims, runs corner to corner, HELLUVA KICK for McIntyre!! But Priest JUMP KICKS Sami, reels him in, Canadian Rack, but Sami slips free! Sami dodges Priest, clotheslines him up and out and ELIMINATES him!! Fans fire up but then McIntyre DUMPS Sami and ELIMINATES him! And just like that, we’re down to four! Seth Rollins is watching from the VIP skybox, as is Roman Reigns. Gunther talks trash on all his opponents, but the fans are on Punk’s side for this one.

Punk and Cody fire off on McIntyre and Gunther! McIntyre TOSSES Punk while Gunther CHOPS away on Cody! McIntyre CHOPS Punk, CHOPS him again, and Gunther lifts Cody. Cody slips free, springboards, CODY CUTTER! McIntyre suplexes but Punk fights. Cody runs but Gunther LARIATS him down! McIntyre CHOPS Punk down! Gunther stomps Cody, hauls him up, and CHOPS again! McIntyre CHOPS Punk! Gunther CHOPS Cody! These two are competing through their CHOPS! Punk sputters after that last one! Gunther CHOPS Cody, that was blunt. Punk fires hands but McIntyre CHOPS Punk down!

Cody fires hands but Gunther CHOPS! Gunther and McIntyre stare down and talk some smack, but Punk and Cody fire off on them! McIntyre dodges to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cody CHOPS Gunther, but Gunther clamps on a facelock! McIntyre aims at Punk, runs in, CLAYMORE misses as Punk moves! Punk says night night, and he fireman’s carries! But McIntyre slips free! And GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Gunther has a SLEEPER on Cody, McIntyre helps mug the American Nightmare. Cody ROCKS McIntyre, Gunther SLEEPERS! McIntyre runs in< Cody slips fere, CLAYMORE to Gunther!

Cody runs, but McIntyre CLAYMORES Cody!! McIntyre has his pick of the litter and the fans are torn! McIntyre CLAYMORES Punk!! McIntyre kips up, he looks to the WrestleMania sign, and then he glares back at Punk. McIntyre drags Punk up and says he’s not the same kid he was 10 years ago! Punk’s ass belongs to McIntyre! McIntyre hauls Punk up, but Punk fireman’s carries! Punk dumps McIntyre up and out to ELIMINATE him!!! McIntyre can’t believe it, but his obsession just cost him! Gunther BOOTS Cody! Cody falls, Gunther aims to SHOTGUN Punk!! Gunther then hauls Punk up, GENERAL BOMB!

Gunther gets Cody, but Cody slips free, springboards, but Gunther catches him! Gunther puts Cody on the apron! Cody headlocks and he drags Gunther over!! Cody DUMPS Gunther out and ELIMINATES him!! History repeats itself as far as Cody and Gunther! And Roman doesn’t like that. Cody and Punk are the final two and Rollins can’t help but laugh. Cody and Punk rise up and the fans are thunderous! Cody and Punk fire off hands back and forth! Punk gets the edge, but Cody shoves to JAB! JAB! JAB! Flip, flop, fly, but Punk kicks low! Punk headlocks, Cody powers out, then DOUBLE LARIATS take them both down!

The fans fire up again while Cody and Punk stir. Both men rise, and Punk fires a forearm first! Cody fires one back! They go back and forth, the fans are torn, and then Cody ROCKS Punk! Punk fires a flurry in return, then SOBATS! Front kicks! And fires palm strikes and an URAKEN! Cody goes to a corner, Punk whips corner to corner, but Cody goes up and over to SNAP POWERSLAM! Fans fire up with Cody and he drags Punk up. Cody springboards but Punk catches him! GERMAN SUPLEX! Punk holds on to GERMAN SUPLEX again! And then another! Punk is taking over Suplex City here in St. Pete!

Cody goes to a corner, Punk glances at the Mania sign, then SHINING WIZARD! BULLDOG! Punk snarls and says this is it! Punk says night night, Cody! Punk drags Cody up, fireman’s carries, but Cody fights free to dragon sleeper! But Punk snapmares free! So Cody JABS, JABS and JABS! Flip, flop, fly, BIONIC ELBOW! The fans fire up with Cody again and he looks to Heaven. Cody drags Punk up, dragon sleepers, but Punk fights free! ROUNDHOUSE! Cody stays on his feet but Punk dumps him at the ropes! Cody holds on for dear life! Cody lands safe on the apron and Punk is frustrated.

Punk stalks Cody, stomps him, then points to the sign! That might be premature, but Punk drags Cody back up. Punk fireman’s carries, but Cody slips free! CROSS RHODES!! Cody roars, shakes the ropes, and the fans are with him! Cody then storms back over to Punk, the fans rallying behind him, and Cody drags Punk up. Punk is deadweight, though, and then he suddenly fireman’s carries! GO TO SLEEP!! Both men fall over! “This is Awesome!” as Punk pushes himself back up. Punk glances at the sign again, then drags Cody up. Punk brings him around to another fireman’s carry! But Cody holds onto the ropes!

Cody drags Punk over with a crucifix! Punk kicks and flails to get free! Cody lands on the apron, slides under the bottom rope, but Punk stomps him. Punk drags Cody up again, underhooks, and grins as he hits a PEDIGREE!! If you know, you know. Punk even says he can’t believe he did that. Punk then says night night, and that he didn’t wait 10 years just to lose to “Dusty’s kid.” Punk fireman’s carries again, walks around with Cody, gives another look to the sign, GO TO- NO!! Cody blocks that and says he’s not just Dusty’s kid! Cody TOSSES Punk out, and WINS!!!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, at number 15 (2024 Men’s Royal Rumble winner)

And for the first time in over 25 YEARS, someone goes back to back in the Royal Rumble! Cody points to the sign, the pyro goes off, and The American Nightmare’s story still has a chance! Will he finish it once and for all at WrestleMania? Or will The Tribal Chief have something to say about that?


My Thoughts:

What an awesome Royal Rumble! And that’s even with two different flavors of “Heels surviving” finishes tonight. The US Championship going on before the Universal Championship was quite the surprise, and I would’ve thought the go-home math was in Kevin’s favor. Granted, Kevin gets to stand tall and they could easily make a rematch for WrestleMania, but I didn’t think Logan was gonna be go-home-math proof. As for Roman Reigns, of course the Fatal 4 Way ends up a less than perfect idea from Aldis. The challengers each got to hit their finishers on Roman, only for someone else to break it up, and of course Solo still had to get involved because Roman always needs his henchmen. If nothing else, Orton and Solo are going to have a great feud from here on out.

Great interviews in the kickoff show, and of course Heyman delivers another great promo. To be fair, Heyman is always a great promo. Anyway, great opening with the Women’s Rumble, great returns and even some surprises. These last few years, WWE seems to be working on a working relationship with TNA Impact, given how Jordynne Grace was here, following in Mickie James’ footsteps of being a Knockouts Champion that gets to be on a WWE program. Jade Cargill finally debuting was also great, and she got the honor of eliminating Nia after Nia looked near unstoppable. Jade and Nia is definitely a feud to go with going towards at least Elimination Chamber, maybe even having them both in the Chamber itself.

Bayley winning despite DMG CTRL getting eliminated was a great surprise in itself, as I thought this was Becky’s Rumble to win. Perhaps Becky is going to take the long route, winning the Chamber to be the new #1 contender to Rhea while DMG CTRL’s story plays out. Bayley will surely end up kicked out of the group and then turn her eyes on Iyo’s title. And awesome stuff in the Men’s Rumble. I wish they did more with Jey and Jimmy given how those two opened together, but maybe they wanna hold off on Uso VS Uso for a little longer. And I guess there was no good idea for another Kofi save, since Gunther just gets rid of him.

But we also got great stuff like Andrade’s return, though I hope he and Santos don’t stay at odds, that’s a great combo right there. Great return for Sami, luckily his knee wasn’t that badly damaged (assuming that injury was real at all and not just a way to give him time off). Good return for Ricochet, though it wasn’t like he was going to win either. And yeah, Omos returned. Omos might’ve been a sub for Lesnar since we can’t have Lesnar around right now during the newest round of the sex scandal stuff. But also it made it hilarious when Pat was to enter but he decided to bail because Omos was there. And good stuff with Melo and Bron representing NXT, and great stuff of Gunther and Cody revisiting last year.

Cody and Punk being the last two was a great move. It really made things exciting and unpredictable there, and as such, I actually did not think Cody would win given it was Punk in there with him. Cody gets to go back to back like HBK and Stone Cold, Cody points to Roman, Roman gets mad, that is obviously the match now. This could be a sign that HHH is changing up plans. Maybe Roman isn’t going to break Hogan’s record-setting reign, the number two longest reign of all time, because c’mon, how sad would it be to make Cody lose two years in a row? Cody has to win at WM40 to make WM40 feel like the biggest Mania ever, just as HHH promised.

My Score: 9.2/10

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Results

Andrew’s JCW Strangle-Mania Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2026

Grab yourself a Faygo, paint your face and punch sister, JCW Strangle-Mania is invading your brain!

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You’re not reading this wrong! Lunacy popped up on my YouTube a few weeks ago, and what can I say, this reminds me of public access ECW Hardcore TV. It’s a bit campy, edgy and is unapologetically Juggalo.

Cokane, J-Rod, Big Al, Facade, and Kerry Morton have definitely intrigued me. On top of the established names like RVD, Nic Nemeth, Mr. Anderson and even Vince Russo has been refreshing.

Plus for somewhat legit reasons, Vampiro is having his retirement match tonight against PCO and Big Vito. So while I don’t know what to expect…I’m anticipating fun with a side of Faygo.

Ratings:

  • St Claire Monster Corporation (Kongo Kong, Mr Happy, Beastman) vs Rock N’ Roll Express & Juggalo George South: AARP Trio win via Smashing Fat Dudes Together – (-**) – Yes that’s Negative 2
  • Kamikaze Chaos Match: Mickie Knuckles vs Kerry Morton: Kerry wins via…Weapons – * 1/2
  • The Outbreak (Abel & Jackson) w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Brothers of Funstruction (Yabo & Ruffo): Outbreak win via As Above, So Below – ** 1/2
  • JCW American Title: Facade (c) vs Mecha Wolf vs Ninja Mack vs Disco Ray w/The Ring Rat vs Boogie Boarding Mikey Avalon: Facade retains via Triple Jump Moonsault – ** 1/2
  • JCW Women’s Title Tag Match: Katie Forbes Guest Referee: Big Al (c) & Dani Mo vs J-Rod & Nyla Rose: J-Rod wins via Double Chokeslam – ** 1/4 – TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • Good Brothers & KENTA vs RVD w/Bill Alfonso, Willie Mack & 2 Tuff Tony: RVD wins via 5 Star Frog Splash – (-*)
  • JCW Lunacy World Championship: EC3 Special Guest Referee: Cokane (c) vs Nic Nemeth vs Caleb Konley vs Matt Riddle: Cokane retains via Cokeslam – ** 3/4
  • Vampiro’s Retirement Match: Vampiro vs PCO vs Big Vito: Vampiro wins via Nail in the Coffin – ***

 

Results:

Violent J opens the show, as he is want to do since he’s come back into part ownership. The Duke of the Wicked keeps it short and sweet since everyone’s been waiting. Smart move.

We move to a backstage segment with Jasmine St. Claire bitching at Vince Russo. There’s a stipulation of, if her Monster Corporation doesn’t win, they disband. She sort of alludes to the match, but it’s not an awful segment.

St Claire Monster Corporation (Kongo Kong, Mr Happy, Beastman) vs Rock N’ Roll Express & Juggalo George South

The monsters attack the ancient trio combine for probably 180 years old. Mr. Happy gets pushed away, George South and Ricky try to control Kongo Kong, but…oh no the Arm Wringers are working. I wasn’t sure at first, but Kongo is in the geriatric corner and isolated with frequent tags…not so quickly. Mr Happy gets tagged in, accidentally Lariats Kongo cause he’s silly.

Beastman just brings himself in and things are breaking down in Lucha level lack of rules. The big boys Monster Mash in the middle because Big vs Old mean everyone is slow. This match is in such slow motion it might be in reverse and Happy gets thrown into his own team because he’s a comedy goof who things its a game. This is…was complete crap.

I guess the pile of shit match got out of the way early. In the famous words of Roan from Grandia II…”Yikes”.

Kamikaze Chaos Match: Mickie Knuckles vs Kerry Morton

Special guest referee Claude aka Brian Zane. Kerry comes out with two white girls dressed like Geisha because he’s a Japanese Legend now.

After an Incel flavored misogynistic promo, he jumps Mickie before the bell, but she turns it around. Gives him the old Kitchen Sink and dumps him outside. Mickie tries to Dive, but Kerry has a perfectly timed Trash Can to her dome. He’s now grabbing chairs, doors, more trash can pieces. He’s building the kitchen just for Mickie. Since he takes forever, when he gets in Mickie grabs his balls and then hits him with a Brainbuster as he sells amusingly. After a few trash can lid shots, Kerry goes to grab Mickie…but you know, it doesn’t work the same for women. She snaps his fingers with her Kegel Grip. He grabs more weapons, cuts Mickie open, but Mickie continues to aim for Kerry’s dick including she just bites his…well…you know. Kerry is about to get Ass Attacked over and over, then uses a Trash Can to keep his face receiving her can.

Kerry goes to grab something but Mickie shoves her thumb up Kerry’s ass. Then she has Claude smell it and help him build the next prop spot. Kerry hits her with a few things, puts her on the gimmick pile, but thinks better than jumping onto it. Claude however rebuilds it and Kerry tries to rub his crotch in her face…which is dumb. So she Headbutts his crotch, he falls through the gimmick pile. Claude gets to a two count and then sneezes.

Kerry hits Claude with a V Trigger accidentally. Saito Suplex, German and then a Northern Lights Suplex from Mickie, but Claude is dead, so no referee for the count. Kerry manages to turn things around, Suplexes Mickie through a door, beats her across the skull with the pieces but she fires, Donkey Kick to the back of her head, and he pins her with his crotch in her face. Claude is miraculously alive, and counts the three.

Not a good match, but kinda fun in how despicably shit it was. 

The Outbreak (Abel & Jackson) w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Brothers of Funstruction (Yabo & Ruffo) vs BackSeat Boyz (Tommy & JP Grayson)

Oh look, Ruffo found Yabo. Glad he’s not sleeping with the fishes yet.

The clowns bounce a balloon off the zombies…and the zombies fire and attack, so they start brawling. Jackson and Yabo start throwing hands, before Ruffo and Abel get involved again. The tornado aspect continues, there’s no control and Violent J walks out. Tells them to expect the unexpected.

BackSeat Boyz come down, T Gimmick the zombies, the clowns face off with them and BackSeats do a little dance, before the clowns make them pay with stereo Manhattan Drops and then a coconut crunch. Zombies are back up, slides under legs, stereo Slingblades, Corner Attacks of Splashes and Uppercuts, the Clowns flop out after the punishment. BackSeat is back in, but the zombies were winning until an Eye Rake, but then Tommy eats an Assited Flatliner. Outbreak wants As Above…but BackSeat stop it, hit the Street Sweeper! They want to T Gimmick Jackson, but Ruffo and Yabo Balloon the Boyz. Hulk Hand Uppercut rocks JP, Rubber Chicken Assisted Big Boot lays out Tommy.

Rubber Chicken Tickle doesn’t work on zombies so they dispose of Ruffo, hit Yabo with As Above, So Below and out favorite cocaine alcoholic zombies win the match!

The Outbreak had some cocaine on them and do celebratory cocaine! Barnabas is beside himself. 

JCW American Title: Facade (c) vs Mecha Wolf vs Ninja Mack vs Disco Ray w/The Ring Rat vs Boogie Boarding Mikey Avalon

Well if you score based on looks, you’d think only Mecha, Mack or Facade should win this match. 

Disco Ray starts his dance, trying to get the vibes rolling, everyone is playing along until he gets to Facade who just flips him off and shoves him. So everyone dogpiles Facade because he’s a dick, then we get a test of strength, but Ray is just vibing and dancing. Mecha clears the other three, but Ray’s hips don’t lie and he Splits under a lariat, hits one of his own, wiggles out cinque and drops Mack, Mikey Avalon eats a Flip, Flop and Fly with tambourines. Ray is having fun, but Facade returns to the match and ends Ray’s fun.

Ray tries to Irish Whip Facade, he does a Neck Bridge in the corner for about a minute. Ray gets Up and Overed, Avalon eats a kick after a Matrix, Mecha eats a Disaster Kick from Facade and then goes for an Escalara, but Ninja Mack cuts off Facade. Mack is taking too long to so his Cartwheel Corkscrew Splash and Avalon just gets involved. Avalon Sabu’s a Boogie Board at Facade and then a Scoop Slam with the board.

Avalon uses a Surfboard Stretch, with a Surfboard. Mecha Wolf clocks Avalon and spikes Ninja Mack. Frog Splash from Mecha, but Disco makes the save. Ray connects on a Neckbreaker, but Ninja Mack flies out of nowhere with an Uppercut, Facade with a Rope Walk Dropkick but Mecha hits a Busaiku Knee and everyone is down. Side Slam from Avalon, but Mecha Powders. Cannonballs for all from Avalon. Mecha Muta Mist to Avalon, Ninja Mack Superkick, Mack hits a Sasuke Special on Mecha! Ray tries some rope run, but Facade counters it into a cradle, Ray hits Panic at the Disco but Facade kicks out.

Ring Rat doesn’t want to give Ray the chair, she turns on Ray with a Low Blow. Facade has the chair, Facade Sabu’s the chair, sets it up, Triple Jump Moonsault for the Sabu reference, Facade retains. Not executed well, but neither were most of Sabu’s moves and then we see the Ring Rat walk up the ramp to Steven Flowe.

The Green Phantom comes out…oy vey. Oh and it’s literally just him walking around the crowd and then he leaves. 

JCW Women’s Title Tag Match: Katie Forbes Guest Referee: Big Al (c) & Dani Mo vs J-Rod & Nyla Rose

Oh, this is where Nyla is now. I haven’t heard her name in so long I thought she died.

J-Rod and Al start, a few strikes exchanged, Saito Suplex from Big Al and then an Air Raid Crash, for a near fall. Al tags in Dani, a delayed splash and another near fall. Dani keeps J-Rod in the corner with some kicks, a Snapmare to send her out, and then a few more kicks and lariats. Big Al asks for a tag, Dani says no, but when Dani gets close enough Al tags herself in and it gives J-Rod time tag out to Nyla.

Nyla lands one corner Splash, Al moves from the second, but Nyla just grabs Al and tosses her across the ring. Dani tags herself in, flies at Nyla and gets caught and slammed down. Nyla walks Dani to the heel corner, tags out to J-Rod and corner Shoulder Thrusts, quick tags are leaving Dani isolated and eating punishment. The heels are working together better than the tumultuous babyfaces. GAHD Damn J-Rod is gorgeous. Sorry it’s 5:30 in the morning and I haven’t slept. I’m distracted and my filter is slipping.

Quick tags continue, Nyla is now in but Dani manages to fight back. Crescent Kick from Dani, Code Red and…only a two count! Dani wants the Moonmist Twist, Nyla stops it, drops Dani and tags out to the Gorgeous Gladiator. Dani eats Snake Eyes and then a Big Boot but only two again. Corner Hip Attacks, J-Rod walks Dani out of the corner with her draped over her shoulders, Samoan Drop. Big Al breaks up the pinfall, Katie admonishes Big Al so Nyla walks in Double Chokeslam while the referee isn’t looking. J-Rod pins Dani…1-2-3! Alice expected Dani to kick out and the fact she didn’t, Al is frustrated.

I’m a big fan of J-Rod, Alice and Dani, but some of the spots were awkward and that finish fell flatter than a pancake. 

Good Brothers & KENTA vs RVD w/Bill Alfonso, Willie Mack & 2 Tuff Tony

RVD walking down about to ask KENTA to pick a hand. Between Tony and RVD…god damn these entrances are taking forever. 

Karl and Tony are gonna start, but he holds up a finger to grab his bottle of…Kettle One…or whatever that is. He polishes the bottle off and then ties up finally! Tony shoots off the ropes, eats a Shoulder Tackle so Karl tags in Gallows because of a the size discrepancy. Tony takes another swig from his bottle, and I get the liquid courage gimmick, but Tony is old, slow and wrestles like shit. Can we just get him out to someone who can go?

Thank Christ, Tony tags in Willie and now we might see some wrestling. Willie wants to test power, they run into each other a few times and no one gives. Gallows tries to Lariat Willie, Willie ducks and hits Gallows with the Gamengiri. Gallows tags out, KENTA points at RVD, and we get Rob Van Dam versus KENTA.

KENTA acts like they’re about to tie up, ducks it and goes to his corner chuckling. Rob lands a punch, KENTA is bleeding, RVD wants Rolling Thunder but Karl drags him out. Now is a shitty brawl but KENTA looks a bit out of it. The vibe seems like Rob connected with KENTA and hard wayed him. Willie hits a Stunner, KENTA with the Busaiku, RVD with a kick, RVD hits the Van Daminator on Gallows. Tony hits the Meteorite on Gallows, RVD goes up, 5 Star Frog Splash, RVD wins!

This was a pile of shit. RVD breaks KENTA’s nose on the second real move of this slog, they do something stupid for a few minutes before someone just said go to the finish. 

4 Way Elimination: JCW Lunacy World Championship: EC3 Special Guest Referee: Cokane (c) vs Nic Nemeth vs Caleb Konley vs Matt Riddle

Can this match be decent? Please? Like give me one. Nemeth comes out in Juggalo paint.

Caleb mouths off a little, everyone gangs up and chucks him out. Riddle starts throwing Knees, Cokane rolls through the turnbuckle, Rebound Big Boot, but a big Lariat miss and Riddle hits a few Gutwrench Suplexes, Senton, and works over Cokane. Caleb runs in, dispatches Riddle, tries to keep Cokane on the back foot but a Blue Thunder Bomb stops Caleb. Cokane pulls out straws and wants to use them like the MASADA Skewer spot, but Caleb fights him off. A little more jockying for position, Cokane tries his rope walk, but Caleb trips him up, Cokane crashes and Caleb kicks Cokane to the outside. Nemeth comes in hot, Splash, Rude Awakening, FameASSer for two!

Cokane wants a Cokeslam, Super Kick says no, Riddle hits a Cutter, wants a Tombstone, but no. Caleb hits a Low Blow on Nemeth, Burning Hammer, and Caleb eliminated Nic Nemeth first. Riddle hits an Exploder, Senton, PK, but Cokane comes in, Drop Step, Wrist Control, Rip Cord Knee, Fisherman Buster and Riddle is rolling. Floating Bro on both men and Riddle looks like the favorite at this point. Tombstone locomotion, Riddle hits a Gotch variation of the Brostone. Another Low Blow on Riddle from Caleb, another Burning Hammer, and Riddle is gone.

Caleb runs Cokane into the corners, Chop exchanges between the remaining two guys turns into punches. Backfist from Caleb, and then a Superkick, Caleb wants the Shotei, but hits EC3 accidentally. Cokeslam gets countered. Cokane gets thrown into the ropes, he’s wiley like a crackhead, eventually we get a Lethal Injection. Cokane goes for his cocaine, but Steven Flowe shows up again to play DARE officer and say no to drugs. LOW BLOW from Caleb! Burning Hammer number three! EC3 stops his count at two. EC…can’t count to three.

Ethan is putting his foot down with all the Low Blows. Cokane sits up, finds more cocaine, COKESLAM! 1-2-3! Tony Khan must’ve given Cokane the back up stash. Good call.

While Cokane retaining isn’t a bad idea…EC3 makes a cocaine angel in the middle of the ring afterwards, is funny. These matches have all been either garbage or depressing. 

Vampiro’s Retirement Match: Vampiro vs PCO vs Big Vito

Vamp walks out with J and Shaggy, gives Dark Carnival WCW flashbacks. Vampiro cuts a promo at the beginning of the match about the first time he met ICP in WCW. Let’s assume it’s a real retirement, he deserves a moment to wax poetic before the match. He then goes around the horn with a comment about PCO and Vito as well. But again, it’s okay, its a retirement angle. Vamp’s little comedic way he cuts a promo while still being poignant and cool, helps land the show. Now lets hope the match isn’t garbage.

PCO and Vamp are throwing chops while Vito doesn’t mind not being hit. Vito tries to hit the ropes and Double Lariat, but they level Vito and keep slugging. PCO rocks Vamp, Splashes him in the corner and then Kicks Vito in the stomach and throw him out. Vamp bounces PCO’s face off the post, Vito goes after Vamp, they fight into the crowd and Vito rocks Vamp, Vamp hits a random dude in the crowd, and the guy seems like a good sport. PCO returns to the brawl going after both guys, but Vito turns things around on PCO and fights Vamp back to the ring.

Vamp is flipping people off, absorbing the hits just to talk shit to the crowd and his opponents. It’s obvious that Vampiro is enjoying himself. Vito calls Violent J into the ring since the Dark Carnival stuck around for support. Vito kicks J, starts throwing down Forearms and then Shane Mercer slides in, the Mercer-Nary. Shane wraps his fist in a chain, Vito holds J, J ducks, Shane levels Vito. J and Shaggy gang up on Shane to take him out, now PCO starts beating on Vito. Fist to the head, Leg Drop, and Vampiro is content watching for a little bit. Vamp breaks the next pinfall attempt, goes for his own but Vito kicks out and Vito goes for a Crossface. PCO’s foot comes down to break up the submission, then his stomps on Vampiro, Vito tries to sneak a cover but not yet.

French Canadian Frankenstein with a few Forearm Shots and a short Lariat to send Vito to the ground. PCO lays strikes into PCO, but Vito shoves PCO out of the way to kick Vampiro himself. Two more instances of Vito shoving PCO away, and PCO is allowing it, but after the third shove, PCO catches Vito in a Chokeslam. Spinning Back Kick by Vamp on PCO, Nail in the Coffin! The Driver looked bad, the finish was odd, but Vamp is nearly 60 and battling Alzheimer’s. I’m not mad. Vampiro wins his retirement match!

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Well Spring Break started late and went long, so Strangle-Mania started like 66 minutes late. So I sit here, past 7am Eastern…and it’s not for Wrestle Kingdom…weird times man. But yeah, wrestling content, this was garbage. Anything that had a chance to be cool was either marred with short cuts or cut short because of an errant punch. Now I will say, a card with the Rock N’ Roll Express, George South, KENTA, RVD, Nic Nemeth, Nyla Rose and professional Zombie wrestlers…was not on my BINGO card this year. So there’s aspects of this show that were fun, the commentary booth was unhinged, J-Rod winning the title is the correct decision. She’s gorgeous, great physique, solid wrestler and going to be on the new American Gladiators, so it’s free publicity baby. The Kerry Morton match was also completely inane, but wonderfully so. There is a soft spot in my heart for Self Aware Comedic Hardcore.

Vampiro’s retirement was nice, sentimental, and a feel good moment since Vito ate the pin.

Like I said, there was no real wrestling to be extrapolated from this show, but there was some entertainment. I’m not gonna rate the show highly because the matches were almost all bad or barely passable. But being a little delirious from being up for like 32 hours with no sleep…I didn’t fall asleep. So at least the show wasn’t boring.

Maybe I’ll start covering Lunacy on Fridays (I cover TNA that’s also on Thursday, so JCW will have to take the tape delay backseat). But yeah, Cokane retaining, Steven Flowe going full heel and stealing the Ring Rat with Caleb Konley getting screwed by EC3. There’s some interesting possibilities for the weekly show.

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Results

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/17/26)

The night before WrestleMania!

Published

on

The American Nightmare sends one last message!

Before fighting for the Undisputed WWE Championship at WrestleMania, Cody Rhodes wants to say one last thing to Randy Orton & Pat McAfee!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag Street Fight: MFT VS The Wyatt Sick6; MFT wins.
  • WWE Tag Team Championships: Damian Priest & R-Truth VS Kofi Kingston & Grayson Waller; Priest & Truth win and retain the titles.
  • WWE Women’s United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Tiffany Stratton VS Jordynne Grace; Tiffany wins and will challenge for the title.
  • Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss VS Bayley & Lyra Valkyria; No Contest.
  • 2026 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Royce Keys wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

A truck pulls into the garage.

And out step Randy Orton & Pat McAfee. The fans can be heard booing, and Orton says this is one hell of a truck. Pat says yeah, built tough like Orton. But then Nick Aldis finds them first, and has a contract. As discussed, here is their agreement. Aldis and Pat are gonna have a chat. Pat tells “Foreign Adam Pearce” that he is a guy who reads his own contracts, because he is a self-made billionaire, unlike all the bums in the crowd. Pat wants to read the whole thing before he signs, and it looks like there are a lot of pages here. Orton says sorry to interrupt, but he has something to say. Pat can handle this while Orton goes to the ring.

Pat is fired up as Orton heads to gorilla, and Pat says time to “ruin” the show by telling some truths! And on that note, please park the truck. Pat skims through, signs a part, and continues on while cameras cut to ringside. Orton makes his entrance, and the T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas is already singing along with Voices as The Viper goes to the ring. Orton signals he’s going to be champion again before even stepping into the ring. The fans cheer as Orton hits his signature pose, then Orton grabs a mic. The fans cheer Orton on while he takes a moment. “I’ll be the first one to admit it. I don’t need Pat McAfee. The truth is, I want him.”

The fans boo, but Orton says McAfee is the only straight shooter in this company. Pat doesn’t tell Orton what he wants to hear, but what he needs to hear. And what Orton needed to hear is that all along, all Orton ever needed to do was just be himself. Who would’ve thought! So they were all set, Orton was listening, he knows what he needs to do, Orton wins Elimination Chamber, and it was to be Orton VS McIntyre for the title. Now, there’s no love lost for McIntyre, Orton knew he could be who he needed to be, easy, cake, take the title home to St. Louis, all done. But then… Cody Rhodes won the title back.

The fans are torn, but Orton again says Cody Rhodes won the title back. So now, he and Cody are friends. Orton wasn’t gonna listen to Pat, he wasn’t gonna do what he needed to do, be who he needed to be, he wasn’t going to hurt his friend. But then, Cody gave Orton permission to be himself! Who the HELL is Cody to give Orton permission on anything?! Orton wrote the book on being himself! He is The Viper, he listens to the voices, and that cocky SOB tried to give Orton permission. This is how a friendship works: there is give and take, in case you didn’t know. But with Cody, well, all it ever is was give, give, give while Cody takes, takes, takes.

Tomorrow night, they main event night one of WrestleMania 42. But Orton wants to take us back to WM40, Cody VS Roman Reigns & The Rock, Cody needed a friend to team with! Someone to have his back! And he calls Seth Rollins?! All Cody does is take, take, take! And now, Solo’s Bloodline was all over Cody. What’d Orton do as a FRIEND? Orton is there to have Cody’s back! What’d he get for it? Orton got put through the table, with a near-career-ending back injury! All Cody does is take, take, take! And the best one yet is Cody gifting a WWE Championship to Orton’s friend, Kevin Owens! And wouldn’t you know it? Kevin turns on Cody!

So what’d Orton do? He had Cody’s back. Orton tried talking sense into Kevin, and what happens? Orton gets dropped on his head with a piledriver! Career threatening move, that could’ve been it! All Cody did is TAKE, TAKE, TAKE! Pat McAfee has done more for Orton than Cody has in HALF A LIFETIME! Pat hurts Orton’s legacy? No, helping Cody has hurt Orton’s legacy more than anything else! WrestleMania 42, night one, Orton rights the wrongs, fixes his legacy, and takes number 15 home where it belongs! And he’ll do it with the three most dangerous letters in all of sports entertainment: R K O!

Orton drops the mic, having said his piece. Orton then returns backstage, Pat waiting in the truck. Pat says great work, Randy! Orton hops in, Pat says that is what a WWE Superstar looks like! And tomorrow night, everything changes for the better. Pat will put in a good word for Aldis with upper management. Later, marks! Pat drives off, neither he or Orton caring to wait on Cody’s response. If Cody just takes, takes, takes, will he take an L along with the RKO? Or will he keep the title on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

8 Man Tag Street Fight: MFT VS The Wyatt Sick6!

While Solo Sikoa and Tama Tonga have disagreed on the Wyatt lantern, they both agree that this has to end between them and the Wyatts. But will it be a victorious moment to reunite and reinvigorate MFT? Or will Uncle Howdy, Erick Rowan, Joe Gacy & Dexter Lumis finally cut this “family tree” down?

SmackDown returns as the lights go down and the fireflies come out, because the Wyatts are making their entrance. The lantern is blown out, and then the Wyatts rush the ring! The bell rings as the brawl is on! Tonga Loa is considered the odd man out, but it doesn’t really matter in a Street Fight! Howdy keeps after Solo on the outside while Rowan and the others clear out Tama and Mateo. They mug Talla, BOOT him, but Talla stays up! Lumis RAMS Talla, fires hands, then Gacy joins in! They BOOT Talla again, then Rowan BOOTS Talla out! The fans fire up as Gacy & Lumis build speed, and they FLY out to take down the rest!

Rowan gets moving, but Loa trips Rowan up! Rowan BOOTS Loa away, then goes out to THROW him into barriers! The fans cheer as the Silverback is down, but then Talla LARIATS Rowan! Talla then pulls the steel steps apart! He RAMS Gacy down, then RAMS Lumis! And then it’s a STAIR DOWN for Rowan! The fans are torn as Talla truly stands tall, and SmackDown goes picture in picture. Talla steps on Rowan while the others beat up on Lumis and Gacy. Mateo CHOPS Lumis, then SMACKS him off the steps! Solo stomps Rowan, talks some trash to Vegas, then regroups with the others to mug Lumis.

Loa drags Gacy up, he and Mateo mug him, then stomp him down. Tama storms around, having handled Howdy, and he rains down fists on Lumis. Rowan is up and he CLOBBERS MFT! Talla whips, Rowan reverses, and Rowan POSTS Talla! Rowan storms into the ring, and he SPLASHES Tama in a corner! Then he LARIATS Mateo in the other! Rowan shoves Mateo so he can LEG LARIAT him down! Tama CLUBS Rowan, but Rowan shoves him back. Tama dodges, but runs into a BODY CHECK! Big Red is all fired up,, but Solo SMACKS him with a kendo stick! It was only a matter of time before someone went for the goodies.

MFT brawls with the Wyatts outside again, but Lumis & Gacy mug Mateo! Talla DECKS Gacy and UPPERCUTS Lumis! Solo has Howdy on the ropes, and Loa pulls Howdy’s arms to keep him trapped! Solo SMACKS Howdy on the back! And SMACKS him again! Loa lets go so Howdy can writhe in agony. SmackDown returns to single picture as Solo offers the kendo stick to Tama. Tama declines to throw hands and stomps on Howdy instead! Tama CHOKES Howdy, then he kicks Gacy. Tama whips, but Gacy enters the UPSIDE-DOWN! Then he dodges Mateo, Lumis helps out with the BACK SUPLEX NECKBRAEKER!

Lumis hits a back suplex on Solo, then kips up to LEG DROP! Gacy SUPERKICKS Talla off the apron! Gacy whips Lumis for a somersault and MONKEFY FLIP into a POWERBOMB! Now the cleanest but Gacy covers, only for Mateo to deadlift GERMAN SUPLEX! And an ATHLETIC PLEX on Lumis! Mateo hauls Lumis up again, shoves and clinches, OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! Mateo talks trash, then he stomps Howdy down. The fans rally for the Wyatts but Mateo talks more trash. Howdy rises up to ROCK Mateo! Howdy CLUBS away, but Talla is back! Talla fireman’s carries for a SAMOAN DROP! Talla soaks up heat, then he fireman’s carries Lumis! SAMOAN DROP!

Mateo feeds Gacy to Talla for another SAMOAN DROP! But then Rowan drags Mateo out! Rowan runs up on Talla, but Talla fireman’s carries?! Rowan fights free, and he SHOTGUNS Talla out! The fans fire up as Rowan DIVES! Down goes Talla and the fans are thunderous, “YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!” Rowan grabs a chair, tosses it into the ring, then he fetches more chairs, and even kendo sticks! The Wyatts all bring things out from under the ring, including trash cans! Rowan sets a can up while Gacy kicks and stops MFT where he finds them. Howdy & Rowan DOUBLE CAN SMASH Solo! Then Rowan pushes one onto Solo’s chest! FULL METAL SPLASH!

The fans fire up as the can is crushed! Solo flounders around while the Wyatts regroup, and SmackDown goes back to picture in picture.

Rowan helps Howdy stand, and Gacy throws hands on Tama. Gacy then whips Tama, but Tama reverses to send Gacy into steel steps! Howdy stomps Solo as he slides inside, and Rowan SMACKS Mateo with a kendo stick! Rowan SMACKS Mateo off the desk, but Tama SMACKS Howdy with a kendo stick! Tama helps Solo up while Loa & Mateo mug Rowan. Loa SMACKS Rowan with that beat up trash can! Tama CHOKES Howdy with a chair, and the fans cheer Nikki Cross as she dares Mateo to do something to her! Mateo lets her shout while he CHOKES Gacy. Solo THROWS Lumis into barriers! Tama SMACKS Rowan with the beat up trash can!

Nikki has a trash can and continues to egg Mateo on. Solo rolls into the ring and he sits a chair up. Solo drags Howdy up and over to SMACK him off said chair! Howdy is down in a heap, but Solo takes a seat. Solo taunts Howdy by tapping him with the kendo stick. Then Solo SAMCKS Howdy! Mateo has a kendo stick and he SMACKS Lumis down! Loa gets a kendo stick while Solo JAMS Howdy up with a chair! Solo struts corner to corner, then soaks up the heat before he runs in, HIP ATTACK! Howdy sputters while Solo fires up! Loa & Mateo keep mugging Rowan and Lumis. Solo eggs Howdy on, talks some trash, then rains down fists.

Solo struts around again as SmackDown returns to single picture. Solo runs corner to corner again, but Howdy dodges! Hips hit buckles, then Howdy SMACKS Solo with the chair! Tama is back to Howdy JAMS him up! And he JAMS Mateo up! Then he SMACKS Mateo down! The fans fire up as Howdy clinches, URENAGE on the chair! Solo writhes in agony while Howdy DECKS Loa! Loa bails out, Nikki goes up! SUPER CORSSBODY! Down goes Loa and the fans fire up! Howdy then clinches Solo, but Talla BOOTS him down! The giant then stands at the corner so Solo can climb up from the corner and onto Talla! SUPER FLYING SOLO!! Cover, GACY SMACKS SOLO!

The fans fire up as Gacy & Lumis fire off kendo sticks! They’re going yard, but Talla double guzels! DOUBLE CHOKE SLAMS!! But Rowan SMACKS Talla with a chair! Talla stays up!? Rowan is pissed, but Talla SWATS the chair! Then Talla LARIATS Rowan and himself up and out of the ring! Howdy clinches Mateo, but Tama grabs Howdy for the TONGAN TWIST! The fans are torn as Tama takes off the arm sleeve. But then SAMOAN SPIKE from Solo on Howdy! Cover, MFT wins!

Winners: MFT, by pinfall

Tama was ready to strike, but Solo snatches the glory from him! But a win is a win, right? Or are the cracks in the foundation only getting worse?

 

Damian Priest & R-Truth walk ‘n’ talk backstage.

#WepaUp is in Vegas, and Truth says they’re facing one of the most iconic teams in WWE history in The New Day! Priest says hold on, New Day is on Raw. Exactly! Easy lay-up! Asuka cursed them! Here we go again. It’s Danhausen! No, that was last week. It’s Asuka this time. Xavier Woods is sick. So sick, he’s turning Sammy Sosa white! And he speaks with a British accent. Priest tries not to laugh, and also not to lose his mind. Isn’t that Grayson Waller? No, Waller is Aussie, Truth knows his geography. Priest says yes, Waller IS Australian. But we’re talking about Xavier Woods. No, Truth is talking about Waller. No, Truth is talking about Woods! Is Priest okay? Maybe…

Truth says get it together, dawg, they have a title match tonight, here in Vegas! What?! Truth hurries off, is any of what he just said real? And whether it’s Waller, Woods, or Whalberg, will Truth & Priest still be the W, W, E, Tag, Team, Champions~?

 

The Miz & Maryse renew their vows in Vegas.

Kit Wilson presides as The Hollywood A-Lister tells his lovely wife that a lot of great things have happened in his life thanks to the WWE. But by far the greatest thing is that he met Maryse. He just wants to say- DANHAUSEN!? Maryse turns around to see the Very Nice, Very Evil and very uninvited guest and freaks out. Danhausen says hi, how is everyone? Maryse asks who Danhausen even is, and he says he’s the ring bearer, the best man, AND the maid/man of honor! NO, HE’S NOT! Danhausen is NOTHING! Kit, do something! You may not curse the bride! No, wait, what?! YOU! ARE! CURSED!!

Miz is furious and he goes to CHOKE Danhausen! But in the struggle, they knock into Maryse, and Maryse stumbles into the wedding cake! Danhausen wipes some frosting from Mayrse’s nose, and says ooh, good vanilla. Stay tuned to WWE socials for the rest of this not-so-happy day.

 

Royce Keys speaks.

“I’m one of the few people I know from East Palo Alto that is living their dream.” He gets a bit emotional and asks for a moment. Royce is back at his childhood home. In 2021, Royce’s mother, Nita Hobson, suffered a fatal overdose. She was only 61 years old, and never saw her son’s dream come true. Royce knew the one person who would watch as his mom. She was proud of him. He had to try, because he misses his mom. Royce’s sister, Evelyn Hobson, says that regardless of what was going on, their mom was definitely proud of her kids. Royce knows his grandparents are with him, his mom is with him, and all the memories are with him. Those things kept him going.

Mark Henry says emotions are not a crutch. When you tap into them, you become stronger. Royce is a good man. He is the perfect example of working hard and making your dreams come true. No one from EPA should be here. Royce knows his mom is proud of him.

 

A police car drives up to the building…?

Sirens wail as the patrol car pulls into the garage, and then right up to the stage! On stage, even! The officer opens the passenger door, and out steps… JACOB FATU! The Samoan Werewolf steps right up onto the roof of the car, mic in hand, wearing custom airbrushed jeans! The fans cheer Fatu on while says, “Drew McIntyre… What, you wanna tell the whole world that I’m still a criminal? Huh? You still doubling back, huh? We can talk about my life all you want, I’m not ashamed of it, I’m not afraid of it, and for sure check this out, I for sure don’t live that life no more.”

The fans cheer that, and Fatu asks what, Drew thought putting Fatu in cuffs in front of Fatu’s family was gonna embarrass him? C’mon, man! Drew really thought putting Fatu in cuffs was gonna be embarrassing. That didn’t bother Fatu at all! HELL NAH! Even the popo know Fatu ain’t that guy no more! But this is where Drew gets very twisted. Tomorrow night, UNSANCTIONED MATCH! That means no Nick Aldis, no police, no security, no management, no Army, no Navy, hell! The SWAT Team can’t stop Fatu while he beats Drew’s ass! And the best thing about it: there is no one to save Drew!

Fatu has the cameraman come in close to get a clear view. “Drew, you try to put me back in that jail cell… Drew, you try to put me back in that jail cell where I done changed my life, but the truth is, I already put that in my rearview. And the truth is, Drew, when I get done beating your ass tomorrow, that’s exactly where I’m putting you: in the back of my rearview! So tomorrow night at WrestleMania 42, you’re gonna see Jacob Fatu shake them dreads!” Fatu geeks out, the fans cheer, and Fatu tells Drew to get a calculator, do the math, cuz tomorrow night at WM42, Fatu gonna dog walk that b*tch ass! YADADA MEAN?! Fatu has issued his warning, will Drew heed it?

 

#Charlexa talks backstage.

Alexa Bliss says ever since teaming with Charlotte, she’s tried all sorts of new flavors of ice cream, ended up with way more Charlotte Flair merch than she ever imagined, along with having signed some, but… She also became a tag team with a new best friend. Charlotte says yeah, 2025 was epic, and 2026 has been even better. But what would be the cherry on top? Winning the tag titles back at WrestleMania. But before that, they gotta beat Bayley & Lyra tomorrow night. They’ll walk into Mania with momentum, then walk out with as champions. But no matter what, they will still be best friends.

Charlotte knows that. The real gold is the friendship they made along the way. Friendship above all else. But how great would it be to have the real gold, too? Bliss rolls her eyes but Charlotte says c’mon, two-time champions would be awesome! Bliss has to get that! But will The Queen & “Blisster” be ready for #BayLyra later tonight?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: Damian Priest & R-Truth VS Kofi Kingston & Grayson Waller!

Despite getting names and faces mixed up, Truth was right, they ARE defending the titles tonight! But will it be #WepaUp in Vegas? Or will the “New G’Day” take these belts back to Raw with them?

SmackDown returns as Kofi & Waller make their entrance. The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if it’ll still be #WepaUp!

The teams sort out and Priest starts against Waller. Waller tests the waters with a kick, then a JAB! Priest snarls, but Waller dodges the haymaker to fire off forearms! Waller whips, Priest reverses, but Waller ducks ‘n’ dodges, then slips through a scoop. Waller waistlocks, Priest bucks the O’Conner Roll, then he BOOTS Waller down! The fans cheer as Priest TOSSES Waller to the corner! Priest fires haymakers, then UPPERCUTS! Waller is dazed while Priest tags Truth. Priest clinches, Truth runs, LIE DETECTOR LEG SWEEP COMBO! The fans cheer while Truth ROCKS Waller. Truth goes up the corner and he rains down fists!

The fans count along, and Truth gest five before Waller YANKS him down! Waller CLUBS Truth, pushes him to the corner, then tags Kofi. Waller whips Kofi for Kofi to whip Waller into Priest! Waller talks trash as Priest falls, but Truth dodges Kofi and ROCKS Waller! Truth ROCKS Kofi, UPPERCUTS Waller, then kicks Kofi low! Kofi claims it was a little too low. Truth runs, but Waller DUMPS Truth out! The fans boo as Waller gets away with that one, but Priest is there to guzel Waller! But Kofi WRECKS Priest with a dropkick! Kofi is all fired up while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Kofi swaggers, soaks up heat, and maybe even eggs the fans on, before he puts Truth in the ring. Kofi pushes Truth to a corner, stomps a mudhole in, then talks more trash. Kofi runs corner to corner and he DROPKICKS Truth down! Cover, TWO! Truth toughs it out but Kofi clamps onto him. Kofi fires body shots, then tags Waller. They mug Truth, then Waller CLUBS Truth on the neck. Waller snapmares and basement dropkicks! Waller soaks up heat, then he sucker punches Priest! The ref reprimands but Waller ELBOWS Truth down! Waller stomps Truth, CHOKES him, but the ref is too busy with an angry Priest to stop him!

Waller CHOKES Truth on the ropes, the ref sees that, and Waller backs off. Waller brings Truth up but Truth fires haymakers! But Waller dropkicks the legs out! Waller drags Truth over, tags Kofi, and Waller sets Truth up for Kofi to BOOT down! Kofi swaggers around, soaks up more heat, then drags Truth around. Kofi waistlocks but Truth fights towards his corner! Priest reaches out for Truth, but Kofi keeps them fingertips apart! Kofi kicks and whips, then he trips Truth up! Kofi soaks up more heat while Truth writhes. Waller takes Truth’s shoe to do a “shoey” with, before Kofi AX HANDLES Truth down! Cover, TWO!

Kofi tags Waller, they mug Truth again, and Waller suplexes, only for Truth to cradle counter, TWO! Waller ELBOWS Truth down! Waller talks trash, daring Truth to go tag Priest. Truth then drags Truth up, and ROLLING ELBOWS! SmackDown returns to single picture as Waller tags Kofi! FAMOUSER, then the BALLER ELBOW DROP! Kofi covers, TWO! Kofi runs to PENALTY KICK! The fans boo but Kofi swaggers around even more. Kofi runs to stomp Truth down! Waller tags himself in and Kofi asks what he’s doing. Waller goes up, Kofi fireman’s carries, but Truth slips fere! Truth shoves Kofi into Waller, and Waller HOTSHOTS off ropes!

Kofi hurries to anchor Truth, Truth BOOTS him into Waller! Hot tag to Priest! Priest fires BIG haymakers on Waller and Kofi! Then JUMP KICK after JUMP KICK! ELBOW on Kofi in one corner, ELBOW on Waller in the other! Kofi runs up, but into a clinch and FLATLINER! Priest then has Waller for a wrench and knuckle lock! Priest goes up and the fans cheer for an Old School CROSSBODY! Priest fires up and the fans are with him! Priest powers up the arm, runs the ropes, COMEBSCK- NO, Waller ducks that to wrench and- NO, Priest dodges to COMEBACKER! Cover, Kofi breaks it! Kofi calls to Waller, but Truth is starting up a “New! Day Sucks!” chant!?

Kofi is upset because Truth thinks he needs to tag him!? Kofi slaps Truth’s hand away, but Truth takes that as the tag! Truth runs, ducks ‘n’ dodges, and starts up the “Ron Cena” Shoulder Tackles! SPIN-OUT BOMB! And yes, Truth puts his hand up! Priest scoop SLAMS Waller down next to Kofi! Truth says Priest should join in, but Priest isn’t so sure. The fans say yes, join in! Priest shrugs and says, “You Can’t See Me!” Priest & Truth run for a DOUBLE FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Priest then pops Waller up so he and Truth can hit a 3D! Cover, Priest & Truth win!

Winners: Damian Priest & R-Truth, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

The dynamic, if not a bit delusional, duo does it again! Will it be #WepaUp then, now, and forever?

 

Jade Cargill is here!

The Storm has arrived in Las Vegas, and she has her Baddies back. Mia Yim & B-Fab have recovered from Rhea Ripley wrecking them, and the trio goes to the ring. Jade grabs a mic, but before she can say two words, Rhea makes HER way out here! Vegas cheers Mami as she steps out on stage, but without reinforcements this week. Rhea isn’t afraid, though, as she walks to the ring. Rhea grabs a mic before she goes to the apron, and she says, “Jade… I just wanted to come out here before you started talking and wasted everyone’s time. First of all, there’s nothing that I’d like more than to lay you out right now, especially after everything you have done.

“But I don’t wanna give you an excuse not to be able to walk into WrestleMania. And I know I’m not normally the most patient of people… I’m normally not.” The fans cheer Rhea on and she smiles. Rhea says Jade is lucky Rhea isn’t in there already, whooping her ass. The fans cheer but Jade mockingly smiles. Rhea says Jade hasn’t been able to give Rhea a chance to face her fair and square. Rhea thinks Jade is scared. And when it comes to WrestleMania, Rhea can’t wait to embarrass Jade! Fab says, “Embarrass her? Rhea, the only one that should be embarrassed is you! Uh-huh, yeah! Shut up! You’re the one that keeps coming for Jade, and failing!

The fans boo but Rhea says she hasn’t even had the chance to go after Jade. See, ever since Rhea won Elimination Chamber, Jade’s done nothing but hiding. She hides behind her minions, behind social media, and anything she can to not be 1v1 with Rhea. So if there’s anything Jade wants to say, this is her last chance to say it alone. Jade has Mia & Fab stand down, and asks, “I’m scared? Aww, I’m scared~ of some cosplay goth kid with insecurities? Yeah, okay. I’m everything you wish you could be! A REAL b*tch! And yeah, you got your way around here, but that’s cuz of that weak ass locker room back there.”

The fans boo but Jade says she’s not hiding. She’s just trying to spare Rhea. And since Rhea didn’t learn the lesson, on Sunday, Jade will put belt to ass! And if Rhea keeps talking, Jade will make it quick. Rhea asks Jade if she really thinks Rhea wants to be like Jade. Oh, no no no, Rhea doesn’t wanna be anything like Jade. Rhea’s been fighting women like Jade her entire life, actually. And if you wanna bring up insecurities like they’re a bad thing, like they hold Rhea back, no, they make her the person she is today! They’re the reason Rhea is a multiple time champion in the WWE! The fans cheer that!

So if Jade wants to make it quick, then Rhea can make it quick! But she promises, it won’t be in Jade’s favor, “you narcissistic, selfish, fake ass b*tch!” The fans cheer Rhea on that one! The two stare down, but Jade holds up the belt. Jade storms off, her Baddies following behind. But will Mami still end up on top on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

MFT regroups backstage.

They’re all feeling food from the win, and Solo says that is what he’s been talking about! The Wyatts are finished, and that happened cuz MFT worked together as a team! Tama says yeah, right, a team. Yeah, a team! Anyways, this is just getting started. Solo wants Talla to win the Andre the Giant Battle Royal and bring that trophy home! MFT, time to get ready! Meanwhile, Solo will talk to Aldis and see about getting the tag team titles back! MFT is feeling good, but will they keep winning while they have the hot hand? Or are they about to bust and go broke?

 

WWE Women’s United States Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Tiffany Stratton VS Jordynne Grace!

Giulia continues to hold onto the gold with an iron grip, but now is the time to name her next challenger. Will the Wrestling Barbie get back on her winning ways during WrestleMania season? Or will the Juggernaut finally get a golden opportunity?

SmackDown returns, and Giulia & Kiana James have appeared ringside to watch this match with their own eyes. The bell rings and the two shake hands to show there is sportsmanship here. They tie up, Grace headlocks, but Tiff powers up only for Grace to whip her away. Tiff leapfrogs over the backdrop, but then Grace fireman’s carries Tiff, only for Tiff to sunset flip it! TWO, and Grace SLIDING- NO, Tiff catches Grace to a ghost pin! ONE, and Tiff ducks a shot! Grace ducks a kick, and the fans cheer the standoff. Grace and Tiff reset, circle, and they tie up. Tiff waistlocks but Grace ELBOWS free! Grace whips, drops, but Tiff handsprings over!

The fans cheer as Tiff says it’s still her time. Tiff ducks ‘n’ dodges, then counters the hip toss into a JAWBREAKER! Grace falls, Tiff covers, TWO! Grace goes to a corner, Tiff runs up, but Grace slips around to RAM Tiff into buckles again and again! Grace backslides then short arm LRIATS! And short arm LARIATS! But Tiff ducks the next one, only for Grace to ELBOW her again! Grace Electric Chair Lifts to HOTSHOT Tiff, then LARIAT her down! The fans are torn but Grace covers Tiff, TWO! Tiff toughs it out while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Grace drags Tiff up, slaps her on the back to copy the rallying applause, then she pump handles Tiff. Tiff fights the lift, Grace fires knees into her, then Grace short arm LARIATS! Tiff flounders but Grace hushes the crowd. Grace CHOPS Tiff on the back! And then LARIATS back and forth, front and back! Grace winds up, runs, but Tiff ELBOWS her down! Tiff shakes out the arm and nods as she paces around. Tiff drags Grace up, bumps her off buckles, then stomps a mudhole in! The ref counts, Tiff stops at 4, and Tiff drags Grace up to reel her in. Tiff snap suplexes, then rolls to a cover, TWO! Grace toughs it out after that hard landing.

Tiff stays on Grace, CHOKES her on the ropes, but stops as the ref counts. Tiff ROCKS Grace, CHOKES her again, then runs the ropes to HIP ATTACK! Grace falls, Tiff covers, TWO! Grace survives again but Tiff stays cool. Grace fires body shots, Tiff stomps Grace down. Grace eggs Tiff on so Tiff fires off shots! Grace shoves Tiff, Tiff kicks low! Tiff fires forearms, then whips to ELBOW Grace down! Cover, TWO! Grace stays in this but Tiff stays on her. Tiff whips Grace to a corner, Grace reverses, and Tiff rebounds into the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM! Grace goes up, up, and VADER BOMBS! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives but Grace stays focused.

Grace puts Tiff in a corner, fires forearm after forearm, then gets space to run up, into a BOOT! Tiff reels Grace in as SmackDown returns to single picture. The fans duel while Grace hoists Tiff up top! Grace UPPERCUTS Tiff, then climbs up to join her. Grace SUPERPLEXES then rolls through, to deadlift, but Tiff DDT COUNTERS! The fans fire up while both women are down again! Tiff and Grace slowly rise up, and the fans cheer as Tiff fires a forearm! Grace fires back, Tiff fires again, and Grace CHOPS! Tiff CHOPS, and the forearms fly again! Grace gets the edge, but Tiff BOOTS Grace, ducks a shot, then KNEES Grace down!

Tiff runs up, but Grace avoids the double stomps to roll Tiff up! TWO, but Grace reels Tiff in, only for Tiff to power up! Grace fights that lift, ducks a kick, but Tiff ELBOWS Grace again! Then TIFFY STOMPS! Cover, TWO! Grace survives and Tiff grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Grace crawls to ropes, Tiff runs up, but Grace BOOTS her! Grace skins the cat, then she catches Tiff in a trap! Grace body scissors in the ropes to HEADBUTT again and again and again! The fans fire up as Grace HEADBUTTS and Tiff staggers. Grace fireman’s carries, ROLLING DEATH VALLEY! Then a lift and tuck, PACKAGE POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!!

Tiff survives and Grace grows frustrated. The fans rally up again as Grace and Tiff rise. Grace drags Tiff up, and reels her into the Reverse Gory! But Tiff slips free, shoves Grace, then handsprings to STUNNER! Grace wobbles, Tiff fires up, and Tiff fireman’s carries! ROLLING SENTON! Then Tiff signals to Giulia that she’s getting the belt! PRETTIEST MOONSAULT EVER! Cover, Tiff wins!

Winner: Tiffany Stratton, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contender to the WWE Women’s United States Championship)

Tiff stares Giulia down again, but Giulia doesn’t sweat it. Will Tiff prove it’s her time again? Or will she succumb to the Beautiful Madness?

 

Trick Williams is here!

Las Vegas is all fired up for Hollywood Trick and his lemon pepper steppers! They chant “Whoop Dat Trick!” as he goes to the ring. Trick grabs the mic to say, “What?” “Whoop Dat Trick!” “Huh?!” “Whoop Dat Trick!” “Uh-huh!” “Whoop Dat Trick!” “I like it!” The fans cheer as Trick shouts out Booker T with that. Trick says, “Now hear me out. Usually, I come out here, it’s all smiles, games, and jokes. Not tonight. Tonight, I got something to get off my chest, so we gon’ talk about it. Sami Zayn, last week, you crossed the line. Roll the footage!” Trick cues it up, and what Trick means is when Lil Yachty tripped Sami up off the apron, and Sami responded with a HELLUVA KICK!

Trick says Sami hit Lil Yachty with that kick. Last week, Sami hit Trick’s friend with a Helluva Kick. Last week, Sami hurt Trick’s friend with that Helluva Kick! We don’t know when Yachty’s coming back. It might be tomorrow, it might be Sunday, but that means Sami did something worse than hurt Trick’s friend. He hurt Trick’s WrestleMania entrance with that Helluva Kick! so this is what we gonna do about it. We ain’t waiting ’til Sunday! Grown folk talking, we gonna take care of business tonight! Sami Zayn, Gingerbread Man, bring yo’ ass out here! The fans cheer, and Sami appears! Wait, no, that’s someone in a Gingy the Gingerbread Man costume…

Trick laughs as he clearly mocks Sami with this. Trick has them cut the music, and he introduces Vegas to Sami the Gingerbread Man. The fans chant “GINGERBREAD! GINGERBREAD!” Trick says he’s supposed to be mad, but here looking at him, Sami looks upset himself. What’s wrong, Gingerbread Man? No diehard Sami Zayn fans in San Jose? Maybe there are some here in Vegas. Doesn’t sound like it… So maybe, all the diehard Sami fans are on Dreary Lane. Nah, c’mon, listen to Trick. When life gives you lemons, you put on your lemon pepper steppers, and mind your business when grown folks talkin’!

This Sunday, it is all about Trick Williams! His first WrestleMania, his moment ot get the US Championship! And he’ll do whatever it takes to get the title! He’ll be whooping something! Vegas, tell ’em what we gon’ do. “Whoop Dat Trick!” Sami says yeah, that’s good, that’s great. The fans boo as the REAL Sami walks out on stage. Sami says this is real funny. He’s “glad” Trick’s having fun and taking his first Mania so seriously. He almost envies it! Sami wishes he was having this much fun, but he hasn’t been having a good time for a very long time. Sami is walking in as THE US Champion, and he’s still not having a good time!

But by the sounds of it, it sounds like the fans here have also not been having fun. The fans taunt Sami but Sami still doesn’t get what he did wrong! He doesn’t! But truth is, Sami doesn’t care. Sami is doing this, and does this every day, for the Ride or Die Sami Fans! The ones that have been with him since day one! Sami steps into the ring, and says make no mistake, there are still plenty of those fans watching at home and even here in Vegas! They will be in Sami’s corner for Mania and beyond. But here’s the thing, Trick… Fans tell Sami to shut up but Sami says no, they’ll get to that.

But ever since Trick got here like four months ago and interrupted Sami, everyone’s been talking about Trick… Okay, can the gingerbread guy not stand like that? No, stop, the hands on hips is worse. Go away, Sami doesn’t wanna see him. The fans boo but Sami says Trick was supposedly the future of the company. Sami was the first to agree. But what has Trick shown Sami since? Not a whole lot. Trick has a great entrance, a good catchphrase, and can even drop a good diss track, congrats. But y’know what Trick hasn’t shown Sami? Anything where it counts, and that’s in this ring when it matters most!

So now when Sami looks a Trick, Sami doesn’t see the future of the WWE anymore. Sami sees Trick now as “a little punk rookie.” The fans boo but Sami says this punk rookie is about to walk into his first Mania with one of the best to ever do it! And he’ll realize at Mania that he bit off more than he can chew, because instead of taking this seriously, he walked into the biggest match of his life without a plan! Trick says, “No plan, Sami? Look at me, I AM the plan! I been here for four months, and took you, the veteran, all off your game. Trying to find yourself. You’re coming your hair now! Your breath still smells like ten pounds of bounce dat ass.

“You done lost yourself! You’re crashing out. There ain’t a safe water bottle backstage cuz you don’t know how to find Sami Zayn no more. That’s right, you’re Sami Zayn, one of the most respected guys in the locker room. The guy with all the accolades, all the titles. Tag team, Intercontinental, you had it, you done it. But you threw that all away because this rookie got in the game. Who doesn’t have a plan, Sami? Look at me when I’m talking to you. Because the truth is… I’m the one that’s gonna get the job done. Let’s talk about it.” The fans chant “Whoop Dat Trick!” but Sami asks if Trick thinks that is in his head! Trick is in Sami’s head?

This is your big plan?! This is the plan that Trick cooked up in that big ol’ head of his? Trick, standing in the ring, two days before their match, with a guy in a gingerbread costume. The fans again chant for “GINGERBREAD!” and Trick says no, he’s standing in the ring with two gingerbread men. Sami throws hands! Trick fires back, the fans fire up, and Trick gets the edge! Trick DECKS Sami! Trick throws off the jacket, but Sami dodges the lariat to then LARIAT Trick up and out! Sami is all fired up and says when Trick is in this ring, he’s in Sami’s world! And then Sami looks at Gingy… Gingerbread Man wants a timeout, and Sami says yeah, it’s fine, you’re good.

HELLUVA KICK!! The foam head turns around as the guy falls over! Sami has a real laugh now, but then TRICK SHOT takes Sami down! Trick holds up the title, will it be his after WrestleMania? Or will Sami find a way to whoop that Trick?

 

We hear from all the teams in the Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 Way.

Brie Bella says, “WrestleMania: where legacies are defined. My sister and I built this division, and even with Nikki fighting through an injury, we’re showing up. Because when the Bella Twins step on that stage, the standard is set.” Charlotte Flair counters with, “Standard? It’s not about where you’ve been…” Alexa adds, “It’s about who owns the division now.” Lyra Valkyria tells them all that they better be ready to prove it. Bayley adds that no one gets handed something at Mania. Nia Jax says right, they don’t get handed anything. Lash Legend says they’ll get run over! Because that is exactly what the Irresistible Forces have done with every team that’s stepped in the ring with them.

Brie says the Bellas have heard all this before. Nikki’s rehabbing and fighting like hell. They’ve been doing this together their whole lives. Whenever something tries to take them out, they find a way back. Charlexa didn’t even like each other, and they still figured out how to become champions. That is what makes them dangerous. But BayLyra says this isn’t about what you’ve had, it’s about what you can do when it matters. Brie says Mania won’t be about reminding people of who the Bellas were, but who they still are. Charlexa says at Mania, they take back what’s theirs, together as friends.

BayLyra vows to bring their absolute best, and make everything they’ve been through the past year worth it! Nia & Lash say don’t worry, they’ll make sure everyone gets their “moment.” But this will be the last moment they ever have! Everyone is ready, but who will survive when the odds are in no one’s favor?

 

Charlotte Flair & Alexa Bliss VS Bayley & Lyra Valkyria!

We’ve heard them all talk, now is the last chance for momentum going into that title fight! Will The Queen & “Blisster” or The Role Model & Morrigan be red hot going into WrestleMania?

There’s tension between the teams already, and Lyra ROCKS Charlotte! The brawl is on! The fans fire up as Charlotte CLOBBERS Lyra while Bayley and Bliss trade hands! Bayley gest around to SAIDO Bliss, but Charlotte CHOPS Lyra! And CHOPS again! Lyra dodges the third to then WHEEL KICK Charlotte down! Bliss sends Bayley into buckles, but HERE COMES NIA! She CLOBBERS Lyra, and then Lash DECKS Bliss! So much for a match! Charlotte RAMS Nia into a corner, BOOTS her, but Lash BOOTS Charlotte! Lash pumped the brakes, but Bayley jumps on Nia for a SLEEPER! Nia RAMS Bayley into buckles!

Lash SPLASHES Bayley, but Lyra fires off Lash! Nia CLUBS Lyra, then Lash hauls her up. Lash DECKS Lyra with that legendary right! Lash then hauls Lyra back up, Nia climbs a corner, and Lash has the BEARHUG! Lash THRASHES Lyra, then sets her up for Nia’s SUPER LEG DROP! This may not have been a match, but the momentum is all on the side of the Irresistible Forces! Will it not matter if The Bellas add themselves to the equation when it comes to these two?

 

2026 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal!

Once more, WWE honors the Eighth Wonder of the World with this battle royal, with superstars from Raw, SmackDown, and now even NXT and AAA, battling for their place in history! Royce Keys makes his entrance as SmackDown returns, but wait! “Say his name and he appears! I believe in Joe Hendry!” Yes, The Prestigious Joe Hendry is here and has Las Vegas waving their hands from side to side! Hendry tops off the field, and the bell rings! Angel takes off his pants and throws them at Kit Wilson! Kit says that’s TOXIC, and everyone is brawling! The fans fire up as the Grandes are after each other, and Kit PIE FACES Hendry!

Hendry just TURNS! Kit is started, and he trips over the prone body of Johnny Gargano! Kit tumbles up and out and to the floor, Hendry & Gargano ELIMINATE Kit! Los Garza brawl with Hendry, Shiloh Hill and LA Parka work together against Alpha Academy, and Nathan Frazer is already holding on for dear life! Axiom saves Frazer from MCMG, TOSSES Sabin out, but then Sabin fireman’s carries Frazer! Frazer fights free, ROCKS Sabin, and they brawl! Frazer SUPERKICKS Sabin, but Sabin BOOTS Frazer! Frazer dangles but he skins the cat to UP KICK Sabin! But then Gargano comes to life to BLAST Frazer! Frazer hits desk, then floor, Gargano ELIMINATES Frazer!

Sabin realizes Gargano is a friend, and they reach out for a high-five, but then Axiom runs up! Gargano dodges, the DROPKICK knocks Sabin down! Axiom ELIMINATES Sabin! Gargano fires off on Axiom, and El Grande Americano Original THROWS El Grande Americano Nuevo over! EGA Nuevo holds on, but Original goes after that mask! The fans are torn, but Talla DUMPS both Grandes out, DOUBLE ELIMINATION! The fans are torn but at least no one was unmasked. Talla stomps Fenix, Hendry kicks Wilde, and Shiloh fires up as he brawls with Ilja! The fans fire up as those two madmen trade shots! Ilja PELES, but Shiloh ROCKS Ilja! Ilja DUMPS Shiloh out!

Shiloh stays up but Ilja JUMP KICKS him down and ELIMINATES him! Los Garza mug LA Parka, but he fires back and dances. He TOSSES Berto, then dodges Angel! KNEE for Angel, Park runs up, but Angel y Berto stop the monkey flip to DUMP Parka and ELIMINATE him! The fans boo as Berto mocks the dance, but Fenix blows past Angel to DROPKICK Berto! Fenix ELIMINATES Berto while he TORNADO DDTS Angel! The fans cheer Fenix, and now Psycho Clown is up! He scoops Garza for a BACKBREAKER, then a pop-up UPPERCUT! Psycho Clown RIPS his own mask-face! Then he HEADBUTTS Angel!

Angel dodges a lariat, but Royce runs up! Angel dodges that, and Royce’s LARIAT sends Psycho Clown up and out! Royce ELIMINATES Psycho Clown! Angel wants Royce to hold on, but Royce hoists him up! Angel fights free, and Axiom fights off Gargano and Shelley! Shelley SUPERKICKS Axiom, then Gargano hits ONE FINAL BEAT! Axiom falls, Gargano ELIMINATES another one! Shelley helps his old friend up, but Fenix says ADIOS AMIGOS! PENALTY KICK hits Shelley! Shelley falls, Fenix ELIMINATES him! Fenix then sees Gargano holding on. Gargano RAMS low, then slingshots, but into a SUPERKICK!

The fans fire up as Crews and Nakamura brawl, Tozawa brawls with Ilja, and Crews BOOTS Nakamura! Nakamura DUMPS Crews out, then dodges a shot! Crews dodges one, but not the WHEEL KICK! Nakamura ELIMINATES Crews! Hendry FALL AWAY SLAMS Cardona, then kips up to TURN! Gargano CROSSBODIES, but Hendry catches Gargano! FALL AWAY SLAM! Kip up and… TURN! The fans cheer Hendry, but Aleister TOSSES Hendry and ELIMINATES him! The fans boo but the Dark Father is not a believer. Talla CLOBBERS Aleister, soaks up heat, then brawls with the LWO! He TOSSES Cruz, but Wilde fires off!

Wilde whips but Talla reverses to TOSS and ELIMINATE Wilde! Cruz GAMANGIRIS, but Talla SHOVES Cruz down to ELIMINATE him, too! Talla snarls, but now everyone turns their attention to him! Fenix, Angel, Gargano, Ilja, and Cardona all go after Talla, but he EXPLODES free! UPPERCUT for Gargano, for Angel, then a LARIAT for Cardona! Fenix fires off kick after kick, but Talla SWATS the roundhouse to TOSS Fenix! Fenix clings to the ropes, but Talla runs up! Fenix fires fast hands, then goes up, up, and leaps, into the guzel! CHOKE SLAM to the apron! Fenix falls to the floor, Talla ELIMINATES him!

The fans boo but Cardona and Angel ROCK and ENZIGIRI Talla! SUPERKICK! CHOP! SPIN CHOP! Nakamura adds a KINSHASA!! Talla is down, but Aleister TOSSES Nakamura to ELIMINATE him! The Dark Father continues to pick his spots, but did he perhaps take out the wrong threat? Ilja BOOTS Aleister, then runs up, only to be put on the apron! Ilja ROCKS Aleister, climbs back up, but Aleister STEP-UP KICKS! Ilja falls to the floor, Aleister ELIMINATES another one! But then Tozawa GERMAN SUPLEXES Aleister! The fans fire up for the Stamina Monster as he rips off that shirt! But then the BLACK MASS hits!

Aleister TOSSES Tozawa to ELIMINATE him! Otis takes note of that, and the Dozer is unleashed! he LARIATS Aleister, he LARIATS Cardona, then scoops Angel to SLAM him! The fans fire up for Otis as he sends Angel into Gargano, and SPLASHES them both! Otis TOSSES and ELIMINATES Angel, and Gargano is prone! Otis rips his shirt off, and he starts up the CATERPILLAR~! SPLASH! Otis TOSSES and ELIMINATES Gargano! Cardona BOOTS Otis, then runs up, ROUGH- POWERBOMB! Otis TOSSES and ELIMINATES Cardona! The fans fire up again as Dozer makes himself part of the final four along with Aleister, Nakamura and Royce!

Otis and Aleister brawl, Aleister fires off kicks, but Otis dodges with a roll! WERCKING HAYMAKER! Otis HEADBUTTS an ELBOW! BLACK MASS!! Otis flops over, Aleister huffs ‘n’ puffs, but Royce steps up! Royce shoves Aleister, but Aleister KNEES back! Royce LARIATS Aleister up and out to ELIMINATE him!! The fans are thunderous as now, it comes down to the three biggest men in the match! Royce stares down with Talla, but Otis bulldozes throogh them both! Otis RUNS Royce over, then SPALSHES Talla! And he SPLASHES Royce! Otis scoops for the WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM!

The fans fire up but then Talla BOOTS Otis! The fans boo but Talla TOSSES Otis up and out to ELIMINATE him! Talla then prepares for Royce. Guzel! CHOKE- NO, Royce slips free, dodges a boot, and he SPINEBUSTERS! The fans fire up as Royce handles Town Bidness! The straps come down, Royce LARIATS Talla up and out, and WINS!!

Winner: Royce Keys (2026 Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal Champion)

His debut was in the Royal Rumble, but his biggest moment is the SmackDown before WrestleMania! Immortalized  on the trophy forever, will 2026 become The Year of the Powerhouse?

 

Cody Rhodes is here!

The American Nightmare has finally arrived, and the fans sing along with Kingdom as the Undisputed WWE Champion makes his entrance, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, then he fires the fans up as he goes to the ring. The fans cheer and sing as Cody gets the mic, and Cody says, “So, Las Vegas, Nevada! WrestleMania 42, the SmackDown the night before, what do we wanna talk about?!” The fans cheer, and Cody says here is what we won’t talk about. We won’t talk about the last three WrestleManias and the apparent conspiracy theory that a certain somebody is needling Cody, is messing with him.

Whether it’s the inclusion of The Final Boss a few years ago, or Travis Scott last year, or even someone who Cody won’t name but should just go home. The fans chant, “Go Home Pat! Go Home Pat!” Cody smiles, and says tomorrow is simple: It is about two men in a single contest, fighting for the oldest and the richest prize in the game. It is Cody Rhodes VS his mentor in this business, the Legend Killer, the Apex Predator, Randy Orton! The fans cheer, and Cody says he doesn’t subscribe to that conspiracy theory. He feels this all just comes with the territory. It is Randy, he was out here talking about Cody just taking, like that’s all he does.

Cody says that’s an interesting choice of words for Randy, since Randy has never taken responsibility in his life. And Randy, the best he’s ever been, which he is, 2009 as we keep referencing. Cody was there, he saw what Orton did, burning everything in his path, went to Mania, wrestled for this title, and he lost. Unfortunately, as good as Randy has become, as good as Randy is, he is now associated with a world most wrestlers- WAIT! CM PUNK is here?! The fans fire up and Cody is surprised to see the World Heavyweight Champion here, and in a suit! Well, the Hall of Fame induction ceremony is after this so it makes sense.

Punk joins Cody in the ring and grabs a mic. The fans finish singing Cult of Personality, then they cheer as the two champions stand together. Cody says he just wants to ask, champ to champ and friend to friend, if they were to hug it out, will Punk go and kick Cody in the balls, too? Fans chant “YES! YES! YES!” Cody and Punk both chuckle, and Punk says there are a lot of people who deserve to get kicked in the balls, but Cody ain’t one of them. Punk is here to give Cody some advice, but to also stop Cody from mentioning someone’s name who doesn’t deserve to be named, who is a tourist in this business and does not deserve anyone’s time, energy, or anything else.

Is Cody wearing a bowtie? Well yes, they dress up for the Hall of Fame. Punk’s looking rather dapper, too, ol’ Chick Magnet. Yes, Punk knew Cody would draw attention to that. This is the first time Punk’s worn a suit on WWE TV since… Teddy Long’s wedding! Remember that? Yes, Jagged Edge was there. Anyway, they go back a long way, they’ve stood in this ring in front of these people multiple times before as friends, competitors, and talked about who is chasing who. Cody once said he was chasing Punk, and then after their respective hiatuses from WWE, Punk was chasing Cody.

Now, Punk wants to take this moment to relish the fact that they are live on a Friday night in Las Vegas, ten toes down, looking at each other as friends and champions, both headlining WrestleMania. They’re past Punk giving Cody advice, because Cody has done and said things Punk has yet to even accomplish. If Punk was ever a teacher to Cody, he isn’t now, but Punk still wants Cody to focus on Randy. They know how dangerous Randy is. Cody’s learned from some of the best: John Cena, Dusty Rhodes, and if Randy was ever Cody’s teacher, he sure ain’t one now. So in a way, maybe, we don’t know what happens tomorrow so Punk won’t make promises he can’t keep.

But Punk does know this: On Monday, win, lose or draw, Cody will be back, Punk will be back, and Cody helped build this up. Punk can only ask all the fans to please come along with them on this adventure! So champ to champ, friend to friend, brother to brother, Punk is proud of Cody. The fans cheer that! Punk and Cody shake hands, and Punk wishes Cody luck and tells him to have fun. Cody says hold on, Punk. It might subvert expectations with Punk always teaching Cody things, but Cody knows there’s something he wants to share with Punk. Cody knows who Punk is up against this Sunday. It is a guy they’ve literally created terms for, he is that good.

Punk is up against the most dominant WrestleMania main-eventer in the history of this, The OTC, Roman Reigns. But Punk, you’re not borne into this like Roman was or Cody was. Punk came into wrestling cuz he loved it. He trained with Harley Race, with Terry Funk, found his tribe. WWE came to Punk when they weren’t even looking at guys who looked like Punk. They wanted Punk so bad, they let him keep his name! And then Punk went away for ten YEARS, but he captured the fans’ attention so much, they chanted his name for ten years straight, and loudly! The fans chant “C M PUNK!” even now.

Cody tells Punk that he could’ve come back, waved his hat, done the greatest hits, but he didn’t. Punk came back better than ever! Maybe it’s like George Foreman or Tom Brady, but in the language of wrestling, this was an HBK! HBK came back after five years and a debilitating back injury, and here’s Punk, better than Punk has ever been! If there’s a conversation going on about a “Mr. WrestleMania,” from #MachoKing to HBK, then Punk’s about to make that conversation. The NEW Mr. WrestleMania is C M PUNK! The fans like the sound of that! Cody then tells Punk to hear something from him as one of the handful of people who have the right to say it.

Cody thanks Punk for everything he taught Cody, for sharing this moment with him and the fans tonight. And if it means anything, someone that Punk took a great deal of counsel with, that he made a promise to, Dusty would be extremely proud of Punk. Cody loves you, brother. They hug it out, and the fans cheer. Punk says hold on, cut the music, don’t credit us out! He isn’t crying tonight, he’ll cry on Sunday after he beats Roman’s ass! Cody says he loves Punk, Punk loves all the fans, and they’re here for them! These titles are as much the fans’ as they are Punk’s and Cody’s, so they’re gonna celebrate with the people!

The fans cheer as the champions of WWE stand with their people! But will they both still be the champions of the WWE? Or will this WrestleMania Weekend change everything?


My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown, but pretty much Go Home Syndrome. The recap and hype packages were good, maybe even great, but they didn’t really add much heat. Good promo from Pat and Orton to open, not that it added much. Cody and Punk had a very good promo to close the show, and I wonder if this is foreshadowing them both standing tall, or them both falling to Roman and Orton. Cody even addressed the “conspiracy” so I wonder if that turns out to be true (in kayfabe). It would be pretty wild if the next chapter is some new faction that parallels The Authority and Vince McMahon, aka the powers at be holding down our heroes.

Hilarious promo from Truth & Priest to set up their tag title match, and of course Priest & Truth win. Their defenses haven’t been against the strongest of teams, so it makes me think once a solid team is put up against them, this all falls apart. Not sure if it’ll be MFT, but it’d make sense after Solo was talking about getting things back on track. Very good 8 Man Tag Street Fight, but of course they leaned into the 5v4 nature since it was No DQ and Loa was of course going to get involved. Good win for MFT, very good showing for Talla in the battle royal, and I appreciated seeing Hendry here tonight. But c’mon, Royce Keys was hands down winning, and what a great honor for him. Now, we just have to wait and see who is US Champion (or maybe even Intercontinental?).

Good promo from Trick and Sami with the Shrek Gingerbread Man mascot. I almost thought that was going to be Sami in the costume, but Sami got to give a good promo as himself. It bordered on Heel, so maybe we’re getting a double turn through this. Trick standing tall doesn’t bode well for his chances in the match, though. Maybe Heel Sami cheats hard to get the win, and we can run it back at Backlash. Hilarious stuff with Danhausen, The Miz, Maryse, and Kit. I wonder if we get more during Mania, or we wait until SmackDown to build towards Backlash. I feel like Danhausen still needs a tag partner, I just don’t know who it’d be.

A little disappointing that the women’s tag match was another case of Irresistible Forces attacking, but with the Bellas on hold because of Nikki’s rehab, this is about all they could do for a build. Well, that or a Triple Threat of one member each, like Charlotte VS Bayley VS Nia. Very good match from Tiff VS Grace, and Tiff winning her shot at Giulia is good. They’ll have a very good US Championship match of their own, and I would think it’s set for Backlash. And a decent promo from Rhea and Jade, but this build has just been lacking something the whole time. They tried using Iyo to help this, but maybe if they were building Rhea VS Jade AND Iyo VS Asuka, it would’ve worked out better. No idea who wins at Mania, but the fans clearly want Rhea at this point.

My Score: 8.7/10

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