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Mitchell’s WWE Royal Rumble Results & Report! (1/27/23)

3… 2… 1! BRR!

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Time to play it by the numbers!

The Road to WrestleMania begins right here with the Royal Rumble! Who will make it through 29 other superstars to then main event in Philadelphia?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 2024 Women’s Royal Rumble match: Bayley wins and will challenge for a title at WrestleMania 40.
  • Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Fatal 4 Way: Roman Reigns VS Randy Orton VS AJ Styles VS LA Knight; Roman wins and retains the title.
  • WWE United States Championship: Logan Paul VS Kevin Owens; Logan wins, by disqualification, and retains the title.
  • 2024 Men’s Royal Rumble match: Cody Rhodes wins and will challenge for a title at WrestleMania 40.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the Royal Rumble Kickoff Show!

Join Jackie Redmond, Booker T, Wade Barrett and Peter Rosenberg in discussing, analyzing and predicting all of the action tonight!

 

Backstage interview with Rhea Ripley.

Kayla Braxton walks up to the Women’s World Champion as she is “very deep in thought.” Kayla asks if it’s okay to talk for a second. Rhea says, “Only if it’s for a second.” Kayla says Rhea is watching the ring, what’s going through her mind. Just looking at it, remembering last year when she won it. And wondering who is gonna pull it off this year. Which woman is gonna win the 2024 Royal Rumble match? And, who are they gonna challenge? Because if they choose Mami, they’re just throwing away their golden ticket to WrestleMania. But Rhea wouldn’t put it past them.

Kayla notes Rhea won from number one, so any advice to who ended up number one tonight? Rhea laughs and says, “Good luck, because there’s only ever been one woman to accomplish that, and that’s me. And it’s gonna stay that way.” But Kayla’s been here long enough, time to leave. Kayla agrees and hurries away. Will the winner of the Rumble choose to press their luck by choosing the Women’s World Champion?

 

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Byron Saxton is with The Wise Man as he holds onto Roman Reigns’ Universal Championship, and Byron says that tonight, Roman Reigns has his back against the wall in this Fatal 4 Way. What kind of mindset is Roman in knowing he could lose the championship without actually losing the match? Heyman says that’s a good question but it’s also only a half-truth. Byron’s better than that. Tell the truth. Welcome to the final night of Roman’s reign. That’s how the WWE wants it, right? WWE doesn’t have a system set up anymore for a champion that last three and a half YEARS! They don’t have a system to promote a dynasty anymore!

WWE doesn’t want the New York Yankees, the Boston Celtics, the LA Lakers or the Dallas Cowboys! They want a champ in, a champ out, and a new replica title while we’re at it! That’s the new system, isn’t it? It isn’t designed for Roman Reigns! For Roman to be a champ going on four years! That is why “this villainous James Bond,” Nick Aldis has put Roman Reigns in this Fatal 4! This practically guarantees Roman loses! Keyword: practically. The last time Roman was put in a situation like this, it was across the bay. And what’d he do then? He stacked Daniel Bryan and Edge, pinned them both.

Now Heyman is not suggesting tonight, Randy Orton, LA Knight and AJ Styles get stacked. But he’s not suggesting they won’t, either. Because in the end, Roman defies the odds. Roman goes past three and a half, heads towards four, and heads to WrestleMania 40 as not only Your Tribal Chief but as reigning! Defending! Undisputed! WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion! And while the panel can sit there and offer predictions, this, ladies, gentlemen and Byron Saxton, is what they call… a spoiler. Heyman heads out, but will his “spoiler” be what gets spoiled by a contender?

 

Peter Rosenberg takes us on a tour of backstage.

Peter Rosenberg walks over and Grayson Waller & Austin Theory mockingly call him “Sam Roberts.” Wow, nice haircut. Peter corrects them but says it’s okay, he likes them. Theory’s going into his third Rumble, how is he feeling? How is he feeling? He’s Austin Theory! He’s a veteran of the Rumble now. Then has he imparted wisdom on Waller? Yes, and they’re gonna do something special. Something that hasn’t been down in roughly 20 years! Two men are going to win the Rumble, and those men will be Waller & Theory. They don’t care who it is, whether it’s CM Punk, Cody Rhodes, Drew McIntyre, or Austin-

No, wait! Waller would never throw Austin out. A-Town Down Under for life! Peter says okay and he heads further along. He’s going along the path to gorilla, and oh, there’s CM Punk! Punk, please wait there, Peter will be right with you! But first, it’s R-Truth! Why is he in the batting cage? Truth says sup, dawg! This is a whole different set of balls. He wants to reenter for a new number. These don’t open like those balls last night. Truth, these are MLB baseballs. What? No, Truth doesn’t play baseball. The Rumble lottery had balls that pop open to get a number. Well, okay. You keep at it, Truth. Judgment Day 4 Life. Gesundheit.

Peter heads out and very exciting for him now. Chicago’s own CM Punk! Punk thanks Peter and he was just Facetiming Larry. Larry misses Punk. Peter points out ten years ago, the last time Punk was in a WWE match, it was the Rumble. Did he ever imagine being back here? No, but that’s the great thing about life and about the WWE. It isn’t the same old Punk, in that he is a bit older. But he’s still the Best in the World. Any nerves? He seems calm. Oh, he is calm, but if he said there were no nerves, he’d be lying. He left because things no longer made him nervous and he needed to fix that. So he is nervous, but he’ll make those butterflies fly in formation.

Then welcome back. Punk appreciates it. They shake hands, and Peter continues through gorilla to get on the runway, and boom, the curtain. The portal to glory! Peter walks out on stage to see the fans and this reminds him so much of the time John Cena came back at spot number 30 and won it all. Can the panel hear him? Booker confirms, they can. Peter says Booker should’ve made his return this year so that he could go on this shorter ramp and not blow himself up before sliding into the ring. Ha ha. But Booker admits, that’s a good point. Peter says hi to the fans, they cheer as we’re nine minutes away from the main show.

St. Pete is ready for history to happen, but there’s still plenty of kickoff show so stick around!

 

Backstage interview with Triple H.

Kayla says it is intense already, but what is special about the Royal Rumble? What is special about tonight? HHH says it is the fact it begins the road to WrestleMania, and perhaps the biggest WrestleMania of all time this year! 30 men, 30 women, pour their hearts and souls into that ring all for one thing, and that is to live the dream of main eventing WrestleMania 40! That road starts here. On top of that, there are already 40 THOUSAND PLUS screaming maniacs about to blow the roof off of Tropicana Field. So what’s special about tonight? Everything! It all begins here. And like the man said, if you’re gonna come and you wanna rumble, you better be ready.

So then HHH will answer the question with a question of his own: “Are you ready?” Fans fire up but he says, no no, ARE! YOU! READY?!? The Game has set the tone, who will answer by winning it all?

 

“This place is special.”

Hulk Hogan tells us that he spent most of his life around St. Pete, Clearwater, Florida. “Beautiful to look at, rich with wrestling history. It shaped some of the best. So if you’re gonna waltz down here and kick the hornet’s nest, then you better be ready. And not just any ‘ready.’ Rumble Ready.” Everyone works out to the max, until they’re sweating and panting. Hogan knows what it takes to win, and he also knows that “nights like tonight are when names are made, legacies primed, and tickets punched. Unfortunately for a few, you gotta go through him.” The Fatal 4 Way looms, and everyone loves a prize fight!

“WWE Universe, let ’em hear ya, brother! Clear a path! Because the Royal Rumble is here! Whatcha gonna do when the Royal Rumble runs wild on you!?”

 

Pat McAfee is here!

Corey Graves is upset but the fans love that Pat is back! He is going to be special guest commentator for the night and Michael Cole is ready to have some fun right alongside him!

 

2024 Women’s Royal Rumble match!

Just as The Game and the Hulkster said, it is time for 30 hungry and determined superstars to pour their hearts and souls out in the ring, but only one will get to punch their ticket to WrestleMania 40! Who wins big to then move on to the biggest Showcase of the Immortals in history?

First out, it’s the Queen of Harts, Natalya! And joining her as number two, it’s NAOMI! She returns to make an impact on the Rumble, will we all #FeelTheGlow? The bell rings and fans are fired up already to welcome Naomi back. Naomi fires up being back home, and she shakes hands with Natty. The two former champions circle, tie up, and Natty headlocks, Naomi powers out, but Natty runs her over. Natty cheers herself, but things speed up. Naomi hurdles, Natty waistlocks, but Naomi pries the hold and booty bumps. Naomi whips, Natty dodges and Naomi hits buckles! Natty gets Naomi up to sit her down! Natty steps on Naomi, but Naomi RANAS!

Fans fire up and Natty gets up, but Naomi slides under! Naomi kangaroo mule kicks, but Natty blocks. Natty trips Naomi, dropkicks her, and now we get entry number three! It’s BAYLEY! The Role Model had a bad reaction to her number last night, but will she make the best out of a bad situation? Bayley stares down Naomi and Natty, welcomes Naomi back, and then revels as the fans cheer her on. Bayley fires off on Natty and Naomi but Naomi hits back. Bayley knees low, whips Naomi to a corner but Naomi reverses. Bayley reverses back but runs into the TWERK ATTACK! Natty then DISCUS LARIATS! REAR VIEW from Naomi!

Naomi gets Bayley for a BULLDOG, but Natty basement dropkicks them both! Natty throws Naomi at ropes but Naomi holds on! Bayley helps out, she and Natty mug Naomi then go to lift her out! Fans boo but Naomi fights them off. Bayley ROCKS Natty, whips her, and then ELBOWS Her down! But now we get entry number four! Naomi JAWBREAKERS Bayley, but here comes Candice LeRae! The Poison Pixie is here, she runs down and slides in to then fire off on Bayley! Natty fights with Naomi while Candice stomps away on Bayley! Fans are torn, but then Natty drags Candice back to scoop.

Candice slips free, kicks low, and she kicks Natty’s legs out. Then BUZZSAW! Then the step-up CODE BREAKER SENTON COMBO, taking down Bayley and Natty! Naomi stares Candice down and they tie up. Candice arm-drags, but then Naomi dodges, scoops, but Candice RANAS free to ENZUGIRI! Bayley runs up to CLOBBER Candice! Fans fire up but Candice hits back. Bayley CLUBS Candice, RAMS her to a corner but Candice fights. Natty tries to scoop Naomi up and out again but the countdown is back. Entry number five is… JORDYNNE GRACE?! The TNA Knockouts Champion is here?!?

Grace, who took her title off Naomi, runs in to run Candice over! And Bayley over! And Natty over! And then she sends Bayley into Natty to GERMAN SUPLEX Bayley! And then scoops Natty to SLAM her! Candice leaps, but Grace catches her to POWERSLAM! Naomi stares her rival down and fans fire up! They hug it out! Fans cheer that, but then they start firing off forearms and the fans cheer that even more! Grace ROCKS Naomi, scoops her, but Naomi slips free to BOOT! Grace ELBOWS in return, then pump handles, MADE IN JAPAN! Grace drags Naomi up, pushes her to ropes, but Naomi holds on.

Bayley CLUBS Grace, stomps Natty, but Natty holds on. Grace CLUBS Bayley back, then she kicks at Natty. Natty still holds on, the countdown is back, and we get entry number six. It’s INDI HARTWELL! Indi hurries down to reinforce Candice, she throws Bayley down and CLUBS and JABS Bayley! And then LARIARTS Natty! And LARIATS Grace! Bayley hits back but runs into a SPINEBUSTER! Candice teams up with Indi, WHEELBARROW SPLASH! The Way work together to go after Bayley, but Natty storms in to get her own shots. Grace almost throws Candice out but Candice holds onto ropes!

Bayley fights back as Indi and Natty both try to throw her out, and then Bayley lands on the apron! Bayley slides back in to safety! Natty scoops Candice but Candice resists. The countdown is back, number seven is ASUKA! The Empress of Tomorrow just won the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships back, and now she’s in the Rumble! Bayley is rather confused by this, she thought she had this solo. Naomi stomps Bayley in the distraction! Asuka MISSILE DROPKICKS Indi and Natty down! Fans cheer and Asuka says she’s here to help Bayley! Well, okay, if she says so. They double whip Natty, then DOUBLE LARIAT!

Fans cheer as Asuka signals high-five, but then leaves Bayley hanging to go after Indi. DMG CTRL double whip, then DOUBLE LARIAT again! They get Indi up but Indi fights back with forearms! Indi whips, Asuka reverses and Indi goes up and over! Indi holds on but Asuka ROUNDHOUSES her! HIP ATTACK misses and Indi has Asuka! Bayley saves Asuka, fires off on Indi but Indi DECKS Asuka! Indi drags Asuka up and out but Bayley BLASTS Indi to ELIMINATE her! Fans cheer but the countdown is back. Number eight is… IVY NILE! The Diamond Pitbull gets her Rumble debut, and she’s ready to take a bite out of the field!

Ivy dodges Bayley, tilt-o-whirls and RANAS her, then ELBOWS Asuka! Ivy whips Asuka into a corner, runs up and DROPKICKS! Ivy scoops Naomi, to POWERSLAM! Fans fire up with Ivy as she stares down Natty. Natty dodges Ivy, makes her sit down, but Ivy turns that around to send Natty to a corner. Ivy ROCKS Natty, Natty RAMS into Ivy! Candice fights Grace off, Bayley and Asuka go after Naomi but she fights them off. Naomi ROCKS Bayley but Asuka ROCKS Naomi! Bayley talks trash on Maggle Cole, but the countdown is back. Number nine is… Katana Chance! The former WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion hurries to get revenge!

Candice dodges Katana but Katana handsprings to RANA! Then she KICKS and KICKS Asuka to sweep the legs and basement dropkick! Grace runs in, Katana dodges, but Grace turns wheelbarrow into back suplex! Ivy scoops Candice to FALL AWAY SLAM! The two seem to be indirectly competing as powerhouses. They both suplex Katana and Candice to show off their stalling powers! Then they both SLAM them down! Fans fire up as Ivy and Grace kip up and stare down. They go after each other, block and dodge, but then Ivy ROCKS Grace! Grace PELES Ivy! Fans fire up while Asuka fights off Natty.

The countdown is back, and number ten is here! It’s BIANCA BELAIR! The EST marks getting through one third of the field, and she slingshots in to fire off on Bayley and Asuka! Bianca CLUBS away on Asuka but Bayley runs up! She and Asuka mug Bianca, but the fans rally as Bianca turns double whip into DOUBLE BLOCKBUSTER! Bianca TOSSES Bayley up and over, but Bayley holds on! So Bianca TOSSES Asuka! Asuka holds on, Katana runs up but Bianca elbows her away! Bianca scoops Katana to FALL AWAY SLAM! Katana staggers up, Bianca fires off in the corner! Fans count and Bianca goes all the way to seven before Candice goes after her!

Bianca backflips over Candice to RAM Candice into Katana! Then she fires off hands on them both! But Bayley gets Bianca! Bianca backflips up and over her, then wrenches to suplex! Fans fire up as Bianca SPINEBUSTERS Candice, then gives Katana the GlamEST Slam onto them both! The countdown is back while Bianca HANDSPRING MOONSAULTS all three!! Number 11 is Kairi Sane! DMG CTRL has three members in, and the Pirate Princess is ready to help Asuka and Bayley! She flies in to CLOBBER Bianca! Then she dodges Katana to INTERCEPTOR SPEAR! Fans fire up with the Kabuki Warriors!

Bayley also joins in the celebration btu still seems like a third wheel. They all mug Bianca anyway but she fights back. They whip Bianca, trip her, then KICK, AX KICK, BULLDOG and DOUBLE BASEMENT DROPKICK! DMG CTRL makes sure the ESET is the sorEST. They throw her at ropes but she holds on. The Kabuki Warriors mug Bianca but Candice has Bayley for a SLEEPER! Bayley throws Candice away, Asuka runs in, but Candice puts Asuka on the apron! Kairi runs in, she’s also put on the apron! The Kabuki Warriors stay off the ground, Bayley runs in but Candice throws her out, too!

But then DMG CTRL swarms! They drag Candice up to TOSS her and ELIMINATE her! The countdown is back, and number 12 is… TEGAN NOX! The Girl with the Shiniest Wizard flies in, then DECKS Bayley! And DECKS Asuka! And fires off on Ivy! Nox CLOBBERS Ivy, UPPERCUTS Bayley, and then hits Naomi. Nox choke grips Katana to CHOKE SLAM! Nox fires up, and CANNONBALLS Bayley! Nox hurries up top, and hits a MOLLY-GO-ROUND on Bayley! But then Grace CLOBBERS Nox, hauls her up, but Natty makes the save! Natty & Nox mug Grace but Grace shoves Natty. Natty DISCUS LARIATS in return!

Nox and Natty hug it out as tag partners, but then Natty whips Nox! Nox reverses and TOSSES Natty out to ELIMINATE her! But then Bayley TOSSES and ELIMINATES Nox!! Bayley says that’s what they get! The countdown is back, and “lucky” number 13 is… Kayden Carter! The party ramps up as Katana’s teammate is here! Kayden helps Katana with the SILLY STRING RANA on Bayley! Then a BOOT WASH! then IMPLODER LEG DROP! Kayden runs up to BOOT WASH Asuka! KC Squared get Asuka up but Kairi runs in! Kairi is sent up and over, but she manages to GRIP the apron and stay off the floor!!

Fans fire up as Kairi fights gravity, Asuka tries to help her, but Katana BOOTS Kairi! They ELIMINATE Kairi, and then Bianca HANDSPRING KICKS Asuka down to ELIMINATE her! Bayley is all alone, and upset that the plan didn’t work out. Then Bayley gets mugged by Bianca and KC Squared, but the countdown is back. Number 14 is… “Shh! It’s Chelsea.” Chelsea Green, that is! Chelsea struts her way into the ring, but Bianca TOSSES her up and out! Cheslea lands safe, she won’t be eliminated so fast this year. But then Bianca TOSSES her the other way! Chelsea stays safe, slides in, and hits a ZIGZAG?!

Fans fire up with Chelsea but then Grace SPINEBUSTERS her! Grace and Bianca stare down as the strongEST in this match and fans love it! Grace kicks Bianca, whips, but Bianca reverses. Grace goes up but skins the cat! Fans fire up as Grace ELBOWS Bianca then whips her out! Bianca stays on the apron, RAMS into Grace, and then Bianca dumps Grace out. They brawl on the edge, this is risky as Bianca torture rack’s! APRON K O D!!! Grace falls, Bianca ELIMINATES her!! The fans are thunderous as Bianca proves she really IS the StrongEST! But Bayley CLUBS Bianca! The countdown is back, and number 15 is… Piper Niven!

Chelsea’s pal is here, marking the halfway point of this match. But KC Squared is after the Hot Mess! Piper hurries, she catches Chelsea before she hits the floor! Chelsea smiles, but then so does Piper! Piper fakes Chelsea out, no dumping here. Piper sets Chelsea on the steel steps, then storms into the ring. Katana RANA blocked, Piper makes it a POWERBOMB! Kayden hops on, but Piper SLAMS her onto Katana! DOUBLE SENTON! Ivy runs up but gets a HEADBUTT! Piper wrenches and reels Bayley in, SAIDO! Chelsea helps get Bayley in a corner, Piper scoops Naomi to SLAM! Chelsea gets Naomi in another corner.

Piper SPLASHES Ivy, then SPLASHES Bayley, then SPLASHES Chelsea as Naomi gets away! Piper panics a bit, Kayden CLUBS away on Piper! Bianca joins in, as does Ivy! They know Piper is the biggest in the fight so they gotta stop her now! They drag Piper up, the countdown is back. Number 16 is… XIA LI! The Exterminator returns from her excursion to NXT, and she rushes into the ring! Xia BOOTS Kayden! And BOOTS Bayley! And HEEL KICKS Ivy! And DROPKICKS Piper! Kayden kicks and whips but Xia reverses to send her to a corner, RISING FIST! Clinch and EXPLODER! Xia fires up and fans are torn, but Chelsea gets Xia!

Xia turns chicken wings into torture rack! But Piper runs up, only for Chelsea’s boots to hit her! And again! Xia spins, UFO NECKBREAKER! Xia drags Chelsea up, Bianca holds on to kick Naomi away, and Bianca is safe. Piper goes after Xia, CLUBs her, Bayley BOOTS Katana. Bianca scoop SLAMS Naomi, then SPLASHES! The countdown is back, and number 17 is… ZELINA VEGA! La Muneca spreads her cybernetic wings before getting into the ring. She ROCKS Katana, pushes her aside, but Kayden goes for a buckle bump. Zelina turns that around, GAMANGIRIS Kayden, then climbs the corner to METEORA!

Bayley scoops Ivy, Zelinda kicks Katana’s legs out to KNEE her down! Zelina wheelbarrows Naomi to send her into Naomi! But then Piper storms up on Zelina! Zelina dodges, runs, and fires off forearms! Piper HEADBUTTS back, then whips Zelina to a corner. Zelinda goes up but gets caught before she gest over! Piper spins Zelina but Zelina uses that to DDT!! Fans fire up and Zelina hops on, but Chelsea SUPERKICKS Zelina down! KC Squared mug Xia, then MONKEY FLIP SENTON onto Piper! The countdown is back, and number 18 is… MAXXINE DUPRI! She makes her Rumble debut, ready to SHOOOSH everyone!

Maxxine dodges Bayley, tilt-o-whirls and RANAS! Maxxine says “A THANK YEW~!” but Bayley fires off on her in return! Bayley whips Maxxine, Maxxine tilt-o-whirl again, and goes around and around to RANA Bayley! “A THANK YEW~!” But Piper storms up on her! Maxxine fires forearms but it doesn’t do anything! Piper shows fist and Maxxine falls! Maxxine then grabs Piper’s leg to anchor her. Bianca helps Zelina hop on, but Piper blocks Code Red! So Bianca KNEES Piper to get it to work! Fans fire up and Bianca helps Zelina get Piper up! They go for the ropes but Piper holds on! Kayden helps out, but that’s not enough!

Chelsea makes the save and she fights the others off. Bayley keeps after Maxxine, Piper BLASTS Kayden out to ELIMINATE her! But the countdown is back and number 19 is… NIA JAX! The Irresistible Force storms her way up, confident as ever. Nia catches Zelina off the top rope to THROW her into Xia! Xia hits Nia with shoulders and headbutts, but then Nia picks Xia up to put her on the apron! HEADBUTT, Xia falls, Nia ELIMINATES her! Ivy goes after Nia but Nia pushes her up and over! Nia POSTS Ivy, Ivy falls, Nia ELIMINATES her, too! Chelsea runs up but Nia scoops! Piper runs in, Nia sends her into Chelsea!

Nia comes back, Piper sends her into Chelsea! Piper suplexes but Nia is too big! So Piper RAMS Nia into Chelsea! And again! And again! Poor Chelsea, she’s a ragdoll now! Piper tries to wake Chelsea up, Nia DECKS Bayley! And DECKS Bianca! Zelian runs up, as do Bayley and Bianca! They all work together but Nia HEADBUTTS them all away! Nia and Piper run in, to SANDWICH Chelsea!! Then Nia HEADBUTTS Piper! Piper runs up, but Nia scoops?! To SLAM Piper onto Chelsea! Nia soaks up the heat, but Naomi FLYING CHUCKS! Nia falls onto Chelsea! And number 20 is here! It’s SHOTZI! She rides her tank to the ring!

Fans fire up for The Wild Child while Naomi brawls with Piper. Nia CLOBBERS Naomi in return! Naomi DROPKICKS Nia down, then Piper SENTONS! Noami hits a LEG DROP! Shotzi goes up, BALLPIT SENTON!! Fans fire up and Maxxine swivels her hips a la Otis! REVERSE WORM! Maxxine, Shotzi and pretty much everyone gets Nia up! They all push her, but Naomi EXPLODES free!! Fans boo as Nia proves she is be the strongest! Bayley TOSSES Maxxine to ELIMINATE her! Nia HEADBUTTS Piper, Shotzi goes after Zelina. Nia shoves Piper up and out, BLASTS her down and ELIMINATES her!

Fans boo but Nia waits for someone to bring it., Katana runs up, but Nia scoops her! Nia trophy lifts Katana to TOSS her onto Piper, Chelsea and Xia to ELIMINATE her! The countdown is back, and number 21 is… BECKY LYNCH! The Man has come around to St. Pete and the fans are thunderous! And Becky eyes Nia! Becky dodges Nia, fires off fast hands, then UPPERCUT! SOBAT! Clinch, but Nia elbows free! Nia HEADBUTTS Becky, throws her out but not down! Becky KNEES, KICKS and climbs up! Becky MISSILE DROPKICKS Nia down! Fans fire up with Becky, but Zelina runs up! Becky gets around, dragon sleeper!

Shotzi runs up, Becky kicks her! DOUBLE DDTS! Bayley runs up, but into a BECKSPLODER! Becky hits a forearm in the corner, then sends Chelsea into Bayley! Nia runs in but Chelsea dodges, the SPLASH hits Bayley! JUMP KICK for Nia! JUMP KICK for Bayley! Chelsea pulls hair, but Becky throws her out! Becky sees Chelsea on the apron, pats her on the head, and shoves her down! Becky ELIMINATES Chelsea! Fans fire up and the countdown is back. Number 22 is… Alba Fyre! Isla Dawn accompanies her wicked companion to the ring, and Fyre gets in to SUPERKICK Bayley! Fyre TOSSES Bayley at ropes!

Bayley holds on, Bianca runs in! Fyre gets her for a TORNADO DDT! Fyre kicks Zelina, Gory Especials, but Shotzi runs up! Fyre blocks and manages to add Shotzi to the GORY BOMB! Fans fire up as Fyre and Becky brawl. Nia sends Fyre to a corner, misses and Fyre SUPERKICKS! Becky whips Fyre, Fyre reverses to put Becky outside! Nia runs up and CLOBBERS Fyre! Nia drags Fyre up to throw her over, but Fyre holds on! Nia gloats, though, as she SPLASHES Becky and digs her boots in. Naomi has Bayley for a CORNER BULLDOG! The countdown is back and number 23 is… Shayna Baszler!

The Queen of Spades wastes no time to get in, she CLOBBERS Becky! And DECKS Bayley! And twists Fyre’s arm for a double wristlock suplex! But Bianca waistlocks, only for Shayna to switch and GERMAN SUPLEX! Shayna throws Fyre again, then kicks Shotzi to gut wrench SLAM! BIG KNEE for Shotzi! Nia runs up, but Shayna manages to SAYANAGI! Fans fire up and Shayna goes after Fyre. Fyre fights her off, Shotzi kicks Becky away to then CROSSBODY! Bayley drags Bianca up by her hair and goes for ropes! Bianca kicks her away, the countdown is back and number 24 is… “Valhalla,” Sarah Logan!

But wait, is that R-TRUTH!? He’s in the wrong Rumble!! He slides in, sees everyone in the ring, and then sees Nia! He calls for a timeout, he thought this was the Men’s- Nia TOSSES Truth! Pearce is there to tell Truth this is the WOMEN’S Rumble! Sarah gets in, but Nia TOSSES her out and ELIMINATES her! Sarah is furious and wants after Truth!! Pearce gets Truth out of there while Naomi JAWBREAKERS Nia! Naomi runs, Zelina ROCKS her at the ropes. Zelina runs in to METEORA! The countdown is back and number 25 is… MIA YIM! Michin is ready to prove she’s the Head Baddie In Charge!

Mia dodges Fyre to then SPRINGBOARD TORNADO DDT! Mia ROCKS Becky, Shayna waistlocks but Mia switches! Mia catches Bayley, URENAGE DDT COMBO! Mia SOBATS Shotzi, reels her in and shouts out Styles, only for Nia to CLOBBER them both! Naomi TOSSES Fyre but Fyre holds on! Mia goes after Becky, Fyre shoulders in but into a KICK! And then HEATSEEKER! Fyre falls back, Naomi ELIMINATES her! Becky fires fists on Mia, Shotzi bumps Bianca off buckles, and Bayley CHOKES Nia on the ropes while talking trash on Maggle! The countdown is back, and number 26 is… ZOEY STARK!

Fans fire up as The Hunter runs up and springboards in to MISSILE DROPKICK Mia! And SUPERKICK Becky! And then she spins Naoim around, short arm LARIAT! Stark kicks Shotzi’s legs out to then SLIDING KNEE! Stark stomps Zelina, reels her in, but Zelina RANAS free! Zelina kicks low, hops on, but Shayna drags her off the Code Red! KIRAFUDA KLUTCH! Shayna throws Zelina up and over, but Zelina HOTSHOTS! Shayna kicks, misses, and ends up on the apron! Zelina ROCKS Stark, KICKS Shayan, and RANAS, but Shayna blocks! Shayna gets Zelina up, Stark GAMANGIRIS so Shayna can BOMB Zelina onto Fyre, and that ELIMINATES her!

Stark & Shayna mug Naomi in a corner, the countdown is back again, and 27 is… ROXANNE PEREZ! The Prodigy of NXT is here, even with her NXT Vengeance Day title match on the horizon! Roxie gets in, dodges Stark and hits a THESZ PRESS! Becky runs up, Roxie ROCKS her! Roxie runs to fire off on Shayna but Shayna whips her away. Roxie reverses to then UPPERCUT! Roxie sends Stark into her, UPPERCUTS again, then runs to tilt-o-whirl RANA Stark! Roxie kips up and fans fire up with her! But Bayley TOSSES Roxie! Roxie holds on, skins the cat, and she RANAS Bayley away! But Nia storms up on Roxie!

Roxie dropkicks legs out, ROCKS Nia, but Nia URENAGES Roxie down! Shayna runs up to get Nia in a TRIANGLE HOLD! Nia powers up and deadlifts Shayna to TOSS her and ELIMINATE her! Nia HEADBUTTS Mia, and TOSSES her out to ELIMINATE her! Nia CLUBS Stark, Shotzi runs up but into a kick! Nia reels Shotzi in to get her up, and she BOMBS Shotzi out onto Shayna and Mia to ELIMINATE her! The countdown is back and number 28 is… JADE CARGILL!!! The storm has arrived in WWE and the fans are thunderous! Nia snarls as the “new girl” finally makes her in-ring debut!

The fans are losing their minds as Nia and Jade are face to face! Then they fire forearms! Jade gets the edge, but Nia fireman’s carries! Jade fights free of that, to fireman’s carry back!! And then WIDOWMAKER! Jade aims and BOOTS Nia to ropes! Then Jade scoops Nia, to TOSS and ELIMINATE her!!! Nia is stunned and even Becky’s jaw drops! The fans lose their minds again and Becky says that’s what Nia gets! Bayley goes after Jade but Jade ELBOWS her away! Jade ROCKS and SUPERKICKS Becky! Jade runs in but Becky dodges, Jade POSTS herself! And the countdown is back! Number 29 is… TIFFANY STRATTON!

The Wrestling Barbie makes her Rumble debut at a prime spot, and she runs right up to go up top, and she SWANTONS everyone! Fans fire up for #TiffyTime, and she stares down Becky. This is a rematch from their NXT Women’s Championship feud, and they fire off forearms! Tiff LARIATS Becky, whips her, then SPINEBUSTERS! Roxie runs in, Tiff dodges to cartwheel ALABAMA SLAM! Tiff runs corner to corner to handspring and ELBOW Becky! Tiff snapmares Becky to DOUBLE STOMP! Tiff drags Becky up to TOSS her, but Becky holds on! Becky ROCKS Tiff but Tiff ROCKS Becky!

Tiff grabs at Becky but Becky holds on. Bayley goes after them both, then lifts Tiff up. Bianca fights off Roxie and Stark, Roxie ROCKS Stark! Roxie lifts Stark, the countdown is back, and number 30 is… LIV MORGAN! Fans fire up as Liv makes her return at the most opportune moment! Liv takes her time, then runs up to CODE BREAKER on Stark! BACKSTABBER for Bayley! SLINGBLADE DDT for Tiff! ObLIVion for Bayley!! Fans fire up but then Stark SUPERKICKS Liv! Stark whips Liv but Liv reverses to send Stark up and out! Stark ROCKS Liv, but Liv BLASTS Stark and ELIMINATES her!

Fans fire up and Liv says thanks! Tiff cartwheels again but Roxie swings free of the Alabama to RANA Tiff to a corner! Roxie runs in, Tiff dumps her out! Roxie dangles, Tiff BOOTS her and ELIMINATES her! “Tootles, loser!” Iyo Sky is watching backstage, knowing someone here could be challenging her soon. But the same goes for Rhea Ripley as she also watches. The fans fire up as the final seven brawl! Bianca is after Liv, Jade is after Becky, Naomi has Tiff, and Bayley is the odd one out. Bayley helps Naomi against Tiff, but then Jade trophy lifts Becky! Bianca does the same to Liv! They DUMP their opponents away, and stare down with each other!

Fans are thunderous as these two step forward, but Bayley and Tiff CLOBBER them! Fans boo but Bayley rains down hands on Jade. Tiff tries to lift Bianca but Bianca CLUBS her down! Naomi DROPKCIKS Bayley! Jade BOOTS Naomi! Jade bumps Naomi off buckles, Naomi turns things around to fire off forearms! Naomi whips, Jade reverses then hits a SPINEBUSTER! Becky runs up and clinches, but Jade fights the slam! Jade fireman’s carries and puts Becky up top. Becky kicks Jade but Jade fires hands! SUPERKICK! Becky falls, but she holds on by one hand! Naomi DROPKICKS Jade! Naomi runs, but Jade puts her into the ropes!

Becky falls!! Then Jade TOSSES Naomi! Jade ELIMINATES Naomi AND Becky!!! Fans can’t believe it! Meanwhile, Tiff puts Liv on the apron, then Bianca! Bianca ROCKS Tiff, she and Liv drag Tiff up and over, they mug Tiff but Tiff fights back! Liv CODE BRAEKERS Tiff, Tiff grabs Bianca’s hair! Bayley BOOTS Bianca, she and Tiff fall, Bayley ELIMINATES them both!! And we have our final three: Bayley, Liv and Jade!! The fans are thunderous again as these three stare down. “This is Awesome!” as Bayley has already lasted over an hour. These three fire off, Bayley going after Jade! Jade ROCKS Bayley, Liv tosses Bayley!

Jade CLUBS Liv, Liv ENZIGIRIS back! Liv fires hands, Jade hits back, Liv runs up to ObLIV- NO, Jade blocks! Bayley runs up, Jade dumps her over! Bayley holds on, Jade brings Liv up to throw her over! Liv holds on, she and Bayley mug Jade, deja vu from how things went with Bianca! Jade holds ropes, kicks Bayley and Liv away, but Liv stops her from skinning the cat! Liv and Bayley mug Jade, Jade fights back! BOOT for Bayley, kick and KICK for Jade! Liv runs up, but Bayley gets away, Liv RANAS Jade down! Bayley DROPKICKS Liv down!! BAYLEY WINS!!

Winner: Bayley, from number 3 (2024 Women’s Royal Rumble winner)

Incredible!! The Role Model promised it, and she came through! Will DMG CTRL soon own ALL the gold on Raw and SmackDown? As for everyone else, how will they find their way down the Road to WrestleMania?

 

Undisputed WWE Universal Championship Fatal 4 Way: Roman Reigns VS Randy Orton VS AJ Styles VS LA Knight!

All three challengers have reason to tear into the Tribal Chief, and Nick Aldis made sure the Tribal Chief would have to deal with them all at once! Will the odds finally be too much for even Roman Reigns to overcome? Or will he find a way to smash ’em, stack ’em and pin ’em just like he did at WrestleMania 37?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who is truly the Head of the Table!

The bell rings and fans fire up as the four stare down. Styles and Knight argue, but Orton keeps his eyes on Roman. Roman watches his three challengers as they all turn their attention on him. He wants them to hold on, but they all creep up! They go after Roman in the corner and fire off! Fans fire up as they all stomp Roman! Knight then CHOKES Roman, Styles and Orton dig boots in. They keep firing off on Roman, but then Styles starts a brawl with Knight! Knight fires back, ‘YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” The fans keep saying that as Knight RAMS Styles in a corner!

Knight fires hands but Styles CHOPS in return! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Orton has Roman on the outside, keeps on him with UPPERCUTS, but Styles CHOPPS Knight! Knight CHOPS back! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Orton SMACKS Roman off steel steps while Knight LARIATS Styles! Knight TOSSES Styles out, storms out after him, but Orton fires hands on Roman. Knight SMACKS Styles off the desk! And again! And again! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Pat even joins in on “YEAH!” Roman storms up on Knight but Orotn get shim, BACK SUPLEX on the desk!

Fans fire up and Knight says okay, BACK SUPLEX on the desk for Styles! Knight says that was good, huh? But then Orton kicks Knight to back suplex, only for Knight to land out of it! Knight SMACKS Orton off the desk again and again, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” The fans cheer as Knight then lines up a shot, but Orton dodges the knee, to BACK SUPLEX Knight on the desk! Orton snarls as he goes back for Roman. Orton fires hands, then RAMS Roman into the steel steps! Roman writhes, but Orton looms over him. Orton drags Roman up and puts him in the ring.

Orton stalks Roman, paces around him, then stomps a leg! Even Heyman felt that one! Orton stomps Roman’s other leg, then stomps Roman’s hand! Roman writhes, Orton just stomps his other hand! Orton kicks Roman around, stomps him on the face, and Roman staggers up. Orton clotheslines Roman up and out! Styles CHOPS Orton! And ROCKS him! And CHOPS! And ROCKS! Styles whips, Orton comes back to LARIAT! Orton rallies on Styles, dodges and SNAP POWERSLAMS! Fans fire up but Knight runs in! Knight fakes out the powerslam to SLIDING KICK! Roman returns but Knight gets him for a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP!

Fans rally as Knight stomps on Orton, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Knight lets off to spell it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” KNEE WASH! Knight then DECKS Styles off the apron! But Roman CLOBBERS Knight! Cover, TWO! Roman stomps Orton’s hand as payback, then he stomps Knight down. Roman huffs and puffs, throws fists down on Knight, but hears the fans chant, “ROMAN SUCKS!” Roman wags his finger, he stalks Knight to a corner, and he BOOTS Styles off the apron. Knight kicks Roman in return! Knight throws hands but Roman ROCKS him! Roman fires point-blank clotheslines in the corner!

Fans boo as Roman goes up to nine, then runs side to side, LEAPING LARIAT! Fans boo more but Roman sneers. Roman paces around Knight, drags him up, and HEADBUTTS him back down! But Styles CHOP BLOCKS Roman! And KICKS the leg! And KICKS it again! Styles kicks Roman to ropes, whips, but Roman reverses to back drop! Styles flies high and lands hard from that one! Roman hobbles a bit but he soaks up the heat as he raises the finger to the sky. Roman then locks ‘n’ loads, aims at Knight, and runs up, but Knight dodges! Knight JABS! JABS! And JABS!

Knight has Roman wobbling around with every punch, then DECKS him! Fans fire up, Knight whips but Roman reverses. Knight LEAPING LARIATS! Then DDTS! Orton returns, but Knight scoops him to SLAM him! Cover on Orton, TWO! Knight storms up on Styles but Styles BOOTS him! Styles goes up, adjusts, but Knight ROCKS him first! Styles almost falls to the floor but Knight drags him back up. Knight fires more hands, then climbs up after Styles. Knight hoists Styles up but Orton CLUBS Knight! Orton whips Knight to the other corner, runs up, but into a BOOT!

Knight goes up, leaps, FLYING BULLDOG! But then he goes right up after Styles, to SUPERPLEX! Fans fire up while everyone is down, but Roman stands! Roman swings, Knight spins that around, B F T!!! Cover, Styles breaks it!! Orton drags Styles up but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! LARIAT takes Orton down! Styles fireman’s carries Knight for USHIGOROSHI! All four men are down again but Styles shakes out his leg. Styles hobbles after Roman, brings him up, but Roman UPPERCUTS! Styles ducks the lariat to PELE! Styles reels Roman in, gets him up, STYLES CLASH!!! Cover, Knight breaks it in return!!

Fans rally up, Orton sends Knight into the ropes! Orton gets Knight hanging out, for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up as Orton hears those voices in his head! Orton watches Knight, but Styles is lurking! Orton sees him, runs up, but Styles ROCKS him! Styles goes up, but into an RKO!! Orton gets Knight, RKO!!! Orton snarls, Roman runs up, RKO!!!! Orton crawls to the cover, but SOLO SIKOA YANKS THE REF FROM THE RING!! As if the Fatal 4 Way wasn’t saving Roman one way or another, The Enforcer has to get involved! Orton glares at Solo, Solo storms up but Orton gets him!

Solo gets free, to SAMOAN SPIKE!! Fans boo as Solo storms in, drags Knight up, and SAMOAN SPIKES!! Solo roars, and he drags Knight onto Orton. Solo is helping Roman stack bodies! Solo looks for Styles, finds him on the outside, and he takes aim. Solo runs in, HIP ATTACK through the barriers!!! But Styles got out of the way!! Solo takes himself out of this! Roman sees the gift Solo put together in the ring and grins, but then realizes what happened to Solo. Roman looks around, and Styles PHENOMENAL FOREARMS!! Roman’s on the stack?!? Styles covers, TWO?!?!?!

Whoever it was that kicked out saved everyone from Styles taking this one! Styles is beside himself but “This is Awesome!” Styles goes to a corner, he watches the other three stir, and Heyman is panicking. Styles goes out and looks under the ring. Styles brings out a chair! Styles brings the chair into the ring, but Heyman tells him to stop. Styles ignores Heyman, aims at Roman, and JAMS him! Then SMACKS him! Then SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS! Then he JAMS Roman up some more! Styles glares at Knight and JAMS him, too! And SMACKS! And SMACKS! And SMACKS!

Styles says one more, and he points at Orton. Orton rises up, and he pokes Style sin the eyes! Orton UPPERCUTS Styles away, but Roman SPEARS Orton!! But Roman can’t make the cover before Orton flounders out of the ring! Knight gets Roman, BIG back suplex! ELBOW DROP! The fans are thunderous again, Knight fires up, and he clinches, but Roman shoves him into Styles to trip up the forearm! SUPERMAN PUNCH for Knight! SPEAR for Styles!! Cover, Roman wins!!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinfall (still Undisputed WWE Universal Champion)

The Tribal Chief literally used his opponents against each other, and he survives in St. Pete! The Road to WrestleMania is still going through the Island of Relevancy, but can Roman make it through Philadelphia?

 

WWE United States Championship: Logan Paul VS Kevin Owens!

The Maverick runs his mouth like no other, but he’s (mostly) found ways to back it up. However, he said his steel reinforced punch could knockout anyone, but The Prizefighter took that shot and stood back up! Will Kevin #JustKeepFighting until he’s once again United States Champion? Or will Logan find a way to KO KO?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Logan will regret being so ImPAULsive!

The bell rings and Kevin stares down Logan’s smug smirk. Logan wants a handshake, and Kevin smirks at Logan’s stupid joke. Kevin kicks low and fires off hands! And CHOPS! And stomps away at the rope! The fans fire up while Logan bails out. Kevin goes out after Logan but Logan kicks back. Logan whips, Kevin reverses and he sends Logan into barriers hard! Kevin then storms up to bring Logan around, and send him into more barriers! Kevin shouts, “This is MY show!” and the fans fire up! Kevin CHOPS Logan, SMACKS him off the apron, and pushes him into the ring. Logan runs up, Kevin dodges and ELBOWS him down!

Kevin SENTONS onto Logan, then covers, ONE!! Logan is still in this but Kevin drags him up. Kevin CHOPS Logan and fans fire up! Kevin tells the Logan Paul fans to “SUCK IT!” then GERMAN SUPLEXES Logan! Logan ends up in a corner, Kevin runs in, but Logan bails out! Fans boo but Kevin goes out. Logan RAMS Kevin into the apron! And he SMACKS the bad hand on the apron! Logan says boohoo, he don’t care. But then Kevin CLOBBERS Logan! SENTON on the floor! Kevin looms over Logan while the ring count climbs. Kevin stands Logan up to CHOP! Logan sputters, Kevin CHOPS him again!

Kevin pushes Logan in to the ring, but then Logan STOMPS Kevin’s bad hand! And PLANCHAS hard! Logan drags Kevin up, RAMS him into the apron, and then throws knees. Logan POSTS the bad hand! And again! Kevin clutches his hand, Logan RAMS him into the steel steps! Logan fires up, fans boo, but Kevin gets in. Logan springboards in, CROSSBODY on Kevin! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Logan clamps onto an arm for a double wristlock! Kevin endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Kevin HEADBUTTS Logan, whips, but Logan reverses to clamp on an IRON OCTOPUS! Logan tortures the bad hand!

Kevin endures, powers free, throws elbows, but Logan knees low! Logan wrenches the arm, arm-drags Kevin, and he punches away on the bad hand! Kevin endures, fans boo, but Logan rips away the protective tape! The ref reprimands as Kevin grabs at Logan’s nose! Logan knees low, UPPERCUTS and UPPERCUTS, then UPPERCUTS Kevin down! Fans boo but Logan grins, as he runs to SPLIT LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Kevin SLAPS Logan! Logan and Kevin slowly stand up, Logan puts Kevin on ropes and wraps the arm around ropes! Logan pulls on the arm, the ref counts and Logan lets off.

Logan then runs up to KICK the rope! The rope jams up Kevin’s arm, then Logan CHOKES Kevin! Logan lets off to soak up the heat, and he mocks Rey Mysterio! But Kevin ducks the 619! And he LARIATS Logan down! The fans fire up and Kevin grits his teeth, before he SENTONS, but onto knees! Logan saves himself, drags Kevin up and CLUBS him. Logan UPPERCUTS, then UPPERCUTS, then UPPER- NO, Kevin hooks those arms! Logan fights the backslide so Kevin knees low, fisherman, AOI SHODOU!! Kevin shouts out another KO with that shot, but he and Logan are both down as the ref counts.

The fans rally, Logan stands, but Kevin HEADBUTTS him! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Logan ends up in a corner, Kevin CHOPS away on him! Then stomps away on him! Kevin goes corner to corner and back again, “SUCK IT!” CANNONBALL! And then another CANNONBALL! Logan flounders but Kevin climbs, and Kevin FROG SPLASHES! Cover, TWO!! Logan survives but Kevin doesn’t lose his focus. Kevin goes right back up, to SWANTON BOMB but onto knees!! Logan does it again, and he hurries up top now! Logan SWANTON FLOPS as Kevin moves! Both men are down while fans rally up!

Logan goes to the apron, Kevin goes after him! Kevin drags Logan up but Logan HOTSHOTS him! And then slingshots, to BUCKSHOT!! Logan hurries back up, to DIVING SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!! Kevin survives and Logan can’t believe it! Logan’s got a bloody nose but he wipes that away, then fires himself back up. Logan storms after Kevin to UPPERCUT, then he puts Kevin up top. Logan climbs, tells Corey Graves that he said no man can superplex Kevin. Watch this! Well, Kevin proves Corey right with the SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Cover, TWO!!! Logan survives again but Kevin keeps his cool.

The fans rally up again as Kevin stands. Logan stands, Kevin runs up to kick and- NO, Logan stops the stunner by pulling on the bad hand! Logan KICKS the arm, then undoes his own hand tape. Logan winds up that steel fist, but Kevin SUPERKICKS first! Then whips for the POP-UP- NO, Logan gets free! Only for Kevin to kick! Logan powers out of the stunner, ONE LUCKY PUNCH!!! Cover, TWO?!?!?!? Kevin survives the knockout fist and Logan has no idea what to make of that! Logan calls to his buddy, but the ref spots him! The ref tells security to eject “Jeff!” Logan pleads with the ref but there’s nothing he can do!

Jeff pretends he’s not trying to do anything, but Logan still goes up. Logan leaps, Kevin gets under, DOUBLE LARIATS take both men down! Wait! A-Town Down Under runs out here! They vouch for Jeff, but then Theory is the one who sneaks the brass knuckles to Logan!! Fans boo as Logan hurries to equip them! But Kevin rolls Logan up! TWO!!! Kevin blocks the brass knuckle punch and he PUTS THEM ON!? BRASS KNUCKLE PUNCH!! Cover, but the ref sees the knuckles?!?!? Kevin forgot to hide the evidence! The ref DISQUALIFIES him!!

Winner: Logan Paul, by disqualification (still WWE United States Champion)

In Kevin’s defense, he forgot hot to be a proper scumbag after redeeming himself after all these years. Logan survives, but Kevin says screw that! He CLOBBERS Logan! And RAMS him into steel steps! Kevin clears the desk! Fans fire up as Kevin hauls Logan over, gets him up, POWERBOM through the table!!! The fans are all fired up because Kevin puts Logan in his place! But will Kevin have to #JustKeepFighting if he wants to get that belt back?

 

2024 Men’s Royal Rumble match!

With Roman Reigns still Universal Champion, and Seth Rollins still World Heavyweight Champion, those are the two to choose for a main event on the Grandest Stage of Them All! We’re 70 days away from the biggest WrestleMania of all time, but who survives 29 other superstars to have a guaranteed spot on the card?

Starting off the Rumble at number one is JEY USO! Well, he is Main Event Jey! And joining him as entry number two is JIMMY USO?!? The brothers are gonna fight it out to start!? Yeet VS No Yeet, that is the question! The fans are losing their minds already as the bell rings. The Usos step to each other, and they agree that they gotta do what they gotta do. They start throwing hands, and fans “YEET!” for Jey! Jey counter punches, punches, and punches! Jey pops ‘n’ locks and does the bounce, to ROCK Jimmy! Jimmy goes up and out but he holds on! No yeet yet, and Jimmy GAMANGIRIS! Jimmy storms in, but into a SAMOAN- NO, Jimmy slips free!

Jimmy kicks low, pops ‘n’ locks to UPPERCUT! Jey blocks the superkick, ducks the Dragon Whip, and he SUPERKICKS Jimmy down! The fans fire up and Jey goes up the corner. Jey USO SPLASHES onto knees! Jimmy’s the only one who knows Jey better than Jey! But now the countdown is here, and number three is… Grayson Waller! The Aussie Icon has a mic to say that he’s gonna make this a Grayson Waller Effect! He doesn’t care about this sibling rivalry! Main Event Jey is a flop! “Yeet” is the most cringe thing he’s ever heard. Jey coming out first lik he’s gonna do something, no wonder Bloodline kicked him out!

Jey SUPERKICKS Waller off the apron! Waller is still in this because he never actually got in the ring, though. But Jimmy whips Jey! Jey reverses, sends Jimmy up and over, but Jimmy holds on! Waller somersaults to COMPLETE SHOT! Waller drags Jimmy up and says he acknowledges the Bloodline. They mug Jey and fans boo! Waller talks trash, Jimmy drags Jey up to the ropes, then he and Waller try to dump Jey out! The countdown is back already, and Jey fights off the others while number four is here. “EL! IDOLO!” WHAT!? ANDRADE ALMAS IS BACK?!? The fans are thunderous as he makes his way to the ring!

Waller is confused as to who El Idolo even is, but Andrade steps to him. Waller shoves Andrade, Andrade CHOPS! Waller fires hands, CLUBS Andrade, and runs, into the boot feint and ELBOW! Jimmy stomps Jey, but then runs up on Andrade. Andrade dodges to CLOBBER him! Jimmy and Waller are in corners, Andrade fires up and the fans are with him! Andrade has Jimmy CIEN SHADOWS! Then CIEN SHADOWS for Waller! Then snap suplex, Uno Amigo! Fans fire up as Andrade hits Dos Amigos! And then Three- NO, Waller fights it! Cravat and KNEE! Waller then BOOTS Andrade in the corner!

The countdown is back, Jimmy fires off on Jey, and number five is… CARMELO HAYES! Fans fire up as we see the Royal Rumble debut of… HIM! Melo makes his way down to ringside, dodges Waller, and springboards to FLYING LARIAT! Melo fires off on Waller, dodges Jimmy and the SUPERKICK hits Waller! Melo SUPERKICKS Jimmy, then coordinates with Jey. Melo baits Waller into Jey’s SUPERKICK! Andrade gets up, he circles with Jey and Melo. Melo kicks Andrade, Jey joins in and they mug the returning Idolo. But Waller somersaults ack in, into the FIRST 48!! Melo clotheslines Waller up and out to ELIMINATE him!

Fans fire up for Melo, he don’t miss! Andrade stomps Jey, Melo fires hands on Jimmy.  The countdown is back, and number six is… SHINSUKE NAKAMURA! The King of Strong Style has won a Rumble before, will he win another? Fans fire up as Nakamura fires off on Melo, BOOTS him to the corner, then gives Melo BAD VIBRATIONS~! Nakamura puts Melo on the top rope, runs in, but Melo dodges the knee! Nakamura elbows Melo, INVERTED EXPLODER, but Melo lands out of it! Melo springboards, into a GAMANGIRI! SLIDING KNEE! Nakamura and Jimmy stare down, and Jimmy offers a handshake. Nakamura ROUNDHOUSES him!

Nakamura fires off on Andrade, ENZIGIRI! Andrade staggers, Nakamura brings him up to bump him off buckles. Now for more BAD VIBRATIONS! The countdown is back, number seven is… SANTOS ESCOBAR! The Emperor of Lucha is here and he takes his time going to the ring. Andrade turns things around on Nakamura, Jimmy and Jey brawl, and Melo stays out of the way. Santos GAMANGIRIS Jey, ducks Nakamura’s kick and CALF KICKS back! Jimmy waistlocks but Santos elbows free, to JUMP KNEE! Santos goes corner to corner to DOUBLE KNEE Nakamura! And then DOUBLE KNEE for Jimmy!

Santos sees Melo running in, POP-UP GUTBUSTER! And then he locks eyes with an old friend. Fans fire up as Santos shakes hands and hugs Andrade. Is El Idolo going to be Ungovernable? Yes! But ty hen Santos goes to throw Andrade out! Andrade reverses that, puts Santos on the apron, then runs up! Santos kicks him back, they brawl, Andrade CHOPS but Santos KNEES back! Jimmy hoists Nakamura up, Andrade stomps Jey, and the countdown is back. Number eight is… KARRION KROSS! The Final Testament’s ferocious leader makes his way out, Scarlett and Paul Ellering accompanying him.

Kross storms in to fire off on Melo! Kross shoves Melo to LARIAT him inside-out! Fans boo as Kross and Jimmy stare down, Kross fires off on Jey instead! Jimmy grins, and he runs in to HIP ATTACK Jey! Fans boo as these two continue to mug Jey. Nakamura stomps Melo, Jimmy and Kross agree on No Yeet. Andrade and Santos run up and they brawl with Kross and Jimmy. Nakamura goes after Melo, Andrade goes after Nakamura! The countdown is back and number nine is… DOMINIK MYSTERIO! Fans boo as hard as they have all night as Dirty Dom makes his way out, and Dom just soaks it all up as he gets in the ring.

Melo turns things around on Jimmy, Nakamura stomps Andrade, and Jey turns things around on Kross. Dom doesn’t hurry in, he revels in the boos. Dom then slides in when there’s an opening, and he goes after Kross! Wrong choice! Kross EXPLODERS Dom away! Kross fires off on Dom, then he goes after Nakamura. Dom goes after Jey instead, and Kross hauls Nakamura to ropes. Nakamura holds on, and the countdown is back. Number 10 is… CARLITO! The fans fire up for Caribbean Cool as he makes his way down to the ring. Santos stares him down, and Carlito slides in, only for Santos to slide out!

Carlito fires off on Dom, on Nakamura, on Andrade, and then back to Dom! Carlito whips Dom but Dom kicks back! Dom runs again, but Carlito CLOBBERS him! Fans rally up and Carlito brings out… AN APPLE! Carlito takes a bite, but then Santos returns! Santos throws Carlito out but Carlito stays on the apron! Santos and Dom nod, but Carlito SPITS the apple in Santos’ face! Carlito TOSSES and ELIMINATES Santos!! The fans fire up, but then Kross goes after Carlito. The countdown is back and number 11 is… BOBBY LASHLEY! Kross hits Carlito with The Final Prayer, but he’s gonna need a hope and a prayer against The All Mighty!

Lashley storms in and he SPEARS Nakamura! And SPEARS Jimmy! And MILE HIGH SPINEBUSTERS Andrade! Dom cowers in a corner to avoid Lashley, then he kicks low! Lashley just gets mad! Dom runs, into a SPEAR! Kross sees Lashley, and fans fire up as these two stare down. Lashley runs in, Kross sends him into Carlito to BLAST him off the apron! Lashley ELIMINATES Carlito, then SPEARS Kross anyway! Lashley TOSSES Kross to ELIMINATE him! Melo and Andrade go after Lashley, but Lashley is disappointed. Wait, AOP makes their way out here?! Lashley hoists Melo up but he sees Akam & Rezar.

Andrade CHOP BLOCKS Lashley, he and Nakamura get Lashley up! Lashley lands on the apron, DECKS Nakamura but Andrade GAMANGIRIS! Kross YANKS Lashley down to ELIMINATE him!! Fans boo but Lashley just goes after the Final Testament! That’s a 3v1 mugging, until the PROFITS rush out here! Dawkins & Ford LEAP into the fight and these six all fight to the back! The fans fire up and the countdown is back again! Number 12 is… LUDWIG KAISER! The Impeccable German has to avoid the brawling first, but he still makes his way to the ring. GAMANGIRI for Melo! Ludwig throws down fists while fans boo!

Ludwig hits a PENALTY KICK on Dom, then forearms on Jey! Dom kicks, Ludwig blocks, “NEIN!” UPPERCUT! Nakamura tries to dump Melo out, Andrade fires off on Jimmy, and Ludwig stomps Dom. Ludwig then goes after Nakamura with fists, but the countdown is back already! “Lucky” number 13 is… AUSTIN THEORY! Mr. ATL heads to the ring, RAMS into Ludwig, then somersault SHOTGUNS! Theory storms up on Jimmy but Melo fires off on him! Theory ELBOWS back, then hits ATAXIA! Theory TOSSES Melo up and out but Melo lands on the apron. Melo holds ropes to keep in this, but Theory kicks at him.

Jey tries to throw Ludwig out, Nakamura fires off on Andrade, and Jimmy is after Dom. The countdown is back again and number 14 is… FINN BALOR! The Prince is here but he better hurry while Dom is dangling! Finn slides in, he DUMPS Melo and ELIMINATES him! Finn helps Dom up, then they mug Ludwig! Finn hits Andrade, Andrade hits back. Dom stomps Theory, Andrade whips but Finn reverses to SLINGBLADE! Finn rains down fists on Andrade, throws him over but Andrade holds onto ropes! Jimmy UPPERCUTS Ludwig, Finn stomps away on Andrade. The countdown is back again and number 15 is… CODY RHODES!

The fans fire up as The American Nightmare marks the halfway point of this match, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro then gets in the ring, to CLOBBER Theory! And CLOBBER Finn! Theory fireman’s carries but Cody slips free to dragon sleeper. Theory knees free, but Cody dodges to springboard, CODY CUTTER! Cody TOSSES Theory and ELIMINATES him! Fans fire up as the weight belt goes flying! Free souvenir! But then Finn fires off on Cody! Dom adds on, they stomp away. Jimmy and Ludwig mug Jey, but the countdown is back again. Number 16 is BRONSON REED! This match just got that much bigger!

Reed slides in, he CLOBBERS Cody! And HEADBUTTS Nakamura! reed drags Cody up, sends him into Nakamura, and then he SPLASHES them both! Finn & Dom go after Reed, they double whip, but he crisscrosses them to DOUBLE LARIAT! Reed puts Finn up, then picks Dom up! He double fireman’s carries, for a DOUBLE SAMOAN DROP! Meanwhile, Cody fights off Ludwig and Jimmy. Andrade fires off on Reed, dodges him in a corner, then boot feints, only for Reed to TOSS and ELIMINATE him! Fans boo, but then Cody and Nakamura stare down. Nakamura says “C’MON~!” So Cody fires off shots! Nakamura fires back!

Cody ducks a kick but not the WHEEL KICK! The countdown returns, and number 17 is… KOFI KINGSTON! Kofi has always made moments in the Rumble, but will he finally win one? Kofi fires off on Ludwig, THESZ PRESS and fast hands! Nakamura tries to suplex Cody out but Cody fights free! Kofi CROSSBODIES Ludwig, Cody DISASTER KICKS Nakamura! Cody drags Nakamura into a CRHOSS RHODES HOTSHOT! Nakamura falls, Cody ELIMINATES him! Fans fire up, but then Ludwig ELBOWS Kofi down. Cody goes after Jimmy while Finn & Dom go after Reed. Ludwig scoops Kofi, Cody rains down TEN punches on Jimmy.

Ludwig goes to throw Kofi but Kofi flips that to RANA Ludwig! Ludwig hangs on, but Kofi TRIANGLE JUMP KICKS! Ludwig falls, Kofi ELIMINATES him! The countdown is back and number 18 is… GUNTHER! Der Ring General storms out here, ready to avenge last year’s loss. He’s disappointed in Ludwig, though. Gunther gets in, Kofi fires off on him! Gunther shoves and CHOPS Kofi down! Finn kicks but Gunther CHOPS him down! Dom runs up, CHOPS, but Gunther just frowns. Gunther CHOPS Dom down! Jey RAMS into Gunther, but Gunther turns him around, to CHOP him down! Jimmy likes that, offers a handshake, but Gunther DECKS him!

Reed scoops Gunther! Gunther fights free, and CHOPS! Reed wobbles, and Gunther SCOOP SLAMS him!! Fans fire up, but Cody stares Gunther down. They revisit last year’s Rumble, Cody kicks and RHODES UPPERCUTS! But Gunther CHOPS! Kofi runs up to ROCK Gunther! Kofi goes to dump Gunther out! Gunther holds onto ropes, he and Kofi brawl! Gunther CHOPS Kofi down, then drags him up! Gunther drags Kofi to the top rope but Kofi holds on! Gunther DECKS Kofi, he falls, Gunther ELIMINATES Kofi! No escape artist trick this year. The countdown is back, and number 19 is… IVAR!

The War Beard storms his way down, and he gets in, only for Dom to fire off hands! Ivar grabs Dom by the face, but shoves him away as Finn runs in! SPINNING POWERSLAM! HEEL KICK for Dom! Ivar runs in, Cody dodges but Ivar gets him with a SEATED SENTON! Ivar cartwheels to dodge Jey, and he LARIATS! But Gunther clamps on a SLEEPER! Ivar RAMS Gunther into the corner, fires off elbow after elbow, then roars! Ivar BOOTS Jimmy down! Ivar and Reed stare down, revisiting their recent rivalry! They LARIAT back and forth and fans chant “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Both men run to DOUBLE CROSSBODY!

The countdown is back, and number 20 is… BRON BREAKKER! The Big Bad Booty Nephew makes his Rumble debut and he runs in to SPEAR Jimmy! Then he POP-UP POWERSLAMS Finn! Bron dodges Ivar, to CLOBBER him! Bron fires up and the fans bark it up! Bron clotheslines Jimmy up and out to ELIMINATE him! Bron SPEARS Finn! Then TOSSES him to ELIMINATE him! But then Gunther stares Bron down. Fans fire up as Gunther grins at Bron, then CHOPS! Gunther reels Bron in, hoists him up, but Bron slips free to trophy lift! Gunther slips free, Bron dodges the chop to SPEAR!! Bron is all fired up, but the countdown is back.

Number 21 is… OMOS! The Nigerian Giant, and MVP, returns at an opportune time. Omos storms right into the ring, Ivar goes after Bron and Cody fights off Gunther. Cody runs up but Omos CLOBBERS him! Omos BOOTS Gunther, CLOBBERS Jey, then choke grips Dom. CHOKE SLAM for Dom!! But reed fires off hands! Omos doesn’t budge! Reed runs, but into a BOOT! Reed is stuck on ropes, Omos DUMPS him out and ELIMINATES him! Ivar runs, springboards, into Bron’s SPEAR!!! Fans fire up as Bron TOSSES and ELIMINATES Ivar! Then Bron looks at Omos. The countdown is back, and number 22 is… PAT?!

Pat is surprised that this is happening! But he takes his headset off and he gets in the ring! Fans fire up as Pat storms into the ring, but then realizes Bron and Omos are the ones still standing. Pat hesitates, then goes up the corner so he can go up and over the ropes! Pat then changes his mind and steps back in, but then changes his mind to go back up and out. Pat hops down and ELIMINATES himself! Fans are disappointed, but then Omos pats Bron’s head. Bron fires off haymakers! Omos sends Bron to a corner, Bron dodges, and then he CLOTHESLINES Omos up and out to ELIMINATE him! But then Dom DUMPS Bron to ELIMINATE him!

The countdown is back, and number 23 is… JD MCDONAGH! The Irish Ace makes his way over, but Bron SPEARS him down! Gunther keeps after Cody, they brawl, Cody tries to haul Gunther up and out! Jey fires off on Dom, and Jey puts Dom up top. Dom fights Jey and Gunther turns things around on Cody. Gunther whips, but Cody KICKS! Cody TOSSES Gunther over, but Gunther holds on! Gunther gets in safe, the countdown is back, and number 24 is… R-TRUTH~! He finally has the right match! Truth sees JD there on the ramp, puts him in, and then Jey clotheslines JD up and out to ELIMINATE him!

Truth says that’s what JD gets! Truth then hurries up, and wants Dom to tag him in? Fans rally up, Dom says no! That’s not what this is! Gunther has a SLEEPER on Dom! Dom wants Truth to get in but Truth wants a tag! Dom JAWBREAKERS free, HOT TAG TO TRUTH! Truth rallies on Gunther, fires those Cena shoulders, then hits the SPIN-OUT BOMB! Fans fire up as Truth says “YOU CAN’T SEE ME~!” Truth runs, but into a BOOT from Gunther! Gunther shrugs, but then Cody goes for a leg. Gunther CLUBS Cody, stomps Truth, so Cody fires off on Dom. The countdown is back, number 25 is… THE MIZ!

The Rumble is now awesome as Miz makes his way out, then gets in to fire off on Gunther! Miz fires “IT KICKS!” Gunther shoves him away, but Miz ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl DDTS! Then he BOOTS Dom! Miz sees Truth, but he lets off because they’re the Awesome Truth! They DOUBLE HIP TOSS Jey! And they still got the pose down! Miz gets Dom up but then Truth stops Miz! Truth still thinks he’s Judgment Day! Miz tries to explain, but Gunther CLOBBERS Truth! Dom drop toeholds Miz onto ropes, dials it up, 619! The countdown is back, and number 26 is… DAMIEN PRIEST! Senor Money in the Bank is here, ready to add to his golden ticket collection.

Priest DECKS Truth!! Fans boo but Priest is done with games! Priest TOSSES Truth out to ELIMINATE him! But Miz fires off on Priest! Priest trips Miz and fires off hands! Gunther UPPERCUTS Dom! Priest TOSSES Miz but Miz holds on! Priest stands Jey up but Jey fires hands! Fans “YEET! YEET!” but Priest catches Jey for a FLATLINER! Priest ROCKS Gunther, then choke grips, to take him SOUTH OF HEAVEN! Cody runs up on Priest, but into a choke grip! Cody gets free, dodges Priest and sends him into buckles! Cody suplexes Priest to put him on the apron! Priest suplexes back but Cody fights it!

Cody and Priest fight for suplex control, Cody fires forearms! But Priest ROUNDHOUSES! The countdown is back, and number 27 is… CM PUNK! The fans fire up again as The Best in the World is back! And it’s “CLOBBERING TIME~!” Punk storms into the ring, but Priest throws him to a corner! Punk dodges to then ROUNDHOUSE! Miz runs up, Punk spins him around to NECKBREAKER! SHINING WIZARD for Jey! SHINING WIZARD for Dom! SHINING WIZARD for Miz! SHINING WIZARD for Priest! BULLDOG CLOTHESLINE COMBO for Priest and Miz! Fans fire up, Punk throws his shirt off, free souvenir!

But Dom runs up on Punk! Punk blocks that, and he TOSSES Dom out to ELIMINATE him! Fans fire up and Punk says night night. But then Priest ROLLING ELBOWS! The countdown is back again and number 28 is… RICOCHET! The One and Only is back, wearing the colors of Tropicana as he makes his way out. Ricochet gets in, slides under Miz, and springboards to CROSSBODY! Priest picks Ricochet up, puts him on the apron, but Ricochet RAMAS into him! Gunther swings, misses, and Ricochet GAMANGIRIS! Ricochet springboards to CROSSBODY Gunther now! Fans fire up, but then Priest LARIATS Ricochet inside-out!

Priest ELBOWS Miz in a corner, puts him up top, but Miz fights back. Cody helps out, they mug Priest, but Gunther CHOPS Miz down! Miz falls, Gunther ELIMINATES him! Punk kicks Ricochet, scoops, and SLAMS him. Gunther DECKS Priest! The countdown is back, number 29 is… DREW MCINTYRE! The Scottish Terminator can count himself very lucky to come back this deep into the match. Cody goes to throw Ricochet but Ricochet holds on. McIntyre gets in to DECK Cody, DECK Punk, but Gunther BOOTS McIntyre! McIntyre BOOTS Gunther! And he RAMS Ricochet! And then OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY SUPLEXES him!

McIntyre stands Jey up but Jey ROCKS him first! And again, and again! But McIntyre LARIATS Jey and rains down fists! Then McIntyre stares Priest down. They fire off fast hands and the fans fire up! Priest kicks and kicks and kicks, to ROLLING ELBOW! But McIntyre SPINEBUSTERS! Jey is up, he SUPERKICKS McIntyre! Gunther swings, Jey dodges, and Jey SPEARS Gunther!! Jey SUPERKICKS Gunther over the ropes! Jey hurries to push Gunther but Gunther drags Jey up and over to throw down! Gunther ELIMINATES Jey!! But the countdown is back, and number 30 is… SAMI ZAYN!! Fans fire up for the Great Liberator’s return!

Sami storms right in to dodge Gunther and go right after McIntyre! Gunther goes after Sami but Sami fires off hands! Then he goes back for McIntyre! Punk tries but Sami throws hands on him, too! Sami goes back to McIntyre again while Cody dumps Ricochet. Ricochet stays safe on the apron, Priest kicks Sami to scoop him! Sami slips free, TOSSES Priest, but Priest holds on! Gunther goes after Sami but Sami throws elbows! Sami runs to clothesline McIntyre up and out! McIntyre holds on, Gunther CLUBS Sami! Gunther CHOPS Sami, but Ricochet fires off on Gunther. Gunther pushes Ricochet, but Ricochet hits the RECOIL!

Ricochet goes after Priest but Priest choke grips! SOUTH OF- NO, Ricochet slips free, ducks and PELES! McIntyre scoops Ricochet but Ricochet slips free! Ricochet goes to the apron, GAMANGIRIS, then steps back in. McIntyre blocks the kick, and he TOSSES Ricochet up and over to ELIMINATE him! We have our final six: McIntyre, Punk, Gunther, Sami, Cody and Priest! Fans fire up for this star-studded set, and the brawl is on! Sami has Mcintyre, Priest has Cody, Gunther has Punk! Punk fights the scoop, Priest clinches Cody but Cody fights free! Cody underhooks, PEDIGREE! Gunther SHOTGUNS Cody!

Punk KNEES Gunther! McIntyre hits FUTURE SHOCK on Punk! Sami catches McIntyre for a CORNER EXPLODER! Sami aims, runs corner to corner, HELLUVA KICK for McIntyre!! But Priest JUMP KICKS Sami, reels him in, Canadian Rack, but Sami slips free! Sami dodges Priest, clotheslines him up and out and ELIMINATES him!! Fans fire up but then McIntyre DUMPS Sami and ELIMINATES him! And just like that, we’re down to four! Seth Rollins is watching from the VIP skybox, as is Roman Reigns. Gunther talks trash on all his opponents, but the fans are on Punk’s side for this one.

Punk and Cody fire off on McIntyre and Gunther! McIntyre TOSSES Punk while Gunther CHOPS away on Cody! McIntyre CHOPS Punk, CHOPS him again, and Gunther lifts Cody. Cody slips free, springboards, CODY CUTTER! McIntyre suplexes but Punk fights. Cody runs but Gunther LARIATS him down! McIntyre CHOPS Punk down! Gunther stomps Cody, hauls him up, and CHOPS again! McIntyre CHOPS Punk! Gunther CHOPS Cody! These two are competing through their CHOPS! Punk sputters after that last one! Gunther CHOPS Cody, that was blunt. Punk fires hands but McIntyre CHOPS Punk down!

Cody fires hands but Gunther CHOPS! Gunther and McIntyre stare down and talk some smack, but Punk and Cody fire off on them! McIntyre dodges to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cody CHOPS Gunther, but Gunther clamps on a facelock! McIntyre aims at Punk, runs in, CLAYMORE misses as Punk moves! Punk says night night, and he fireman’s carries! But McIntyre slips free! And GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Gunther has a SLEEPER on Cody, McIntyre helps mug the American Nightmare. Cody ROCKS McIntyre, Gunther SLEEPERS! McIntyre runs in< Cody slips fere, CLAYMORE to Gunther!

Cody runs, but McIntyre CLAYMORES Cody!! McIntyre has his pick of the litter and the fans are torn! McIntyre CLAYMORES Punk!! McIntyre kips up, he looks to the WrestleMania sign, and then he glares back at Punk. McIntyre drags Punk up and says he’s not the same kid he was 10 years ago! Punk’s ass belongs to McIntyre! McIntyre hauls Punk up, but Punk fireman’s carries! Punk dumps McIntyre up and out to ELIMINATE him!!! McIntyre can’t believe it, but his obsession just cost him! Gunther BOOTS Cody! Cody falls, Gunther aims to SHOTGUN Punk!! Gunther then hauls Punk up, GENERAL BOMB!

Gunther gets Cody, but Cody slips free, springboards, but Gunther catches him! Gunther puts Cody on the apron! Cody headlocks and he drags Gunther over!! Cody DUMPS Gunther out and ELIMINATES him!! History repeats itself as far as Cody and Gunther! And Roman doesn’t like that. Cody and Punk are the final two and Rollins can’t help but laugh. Cody and Punk rise up and the fans are thunderous! Cody and Punk fire off hands back and forth! Punk gets the edge, but Cody shoves to JAB! JAB! JAB! Flip, flop, fly, but Punk kicks low! Punk headlocks, Cody powers out, then DOUBLE LARIATS take them both down!

The fans fire up again while Cody and Punk stir. Both men rise, and Punk fires a forearm first! Cody fires one back! They go back and forth, the fans are torn, and then Cody ROCKS Punk! Punk fires a flurry in return, then SOBATS! Front kicks! And fires palm strikes and an URAKEN! Cody goes to a corner, Punk whips corner to corner, but Cody goes up and over to SNAP POWERSLAM! Fans fire up with Cody and he drags Punk up. Cody springboards but Punk catches him! GERMAN SUPLEX! Punk holds on to GERMAN SUPLEX again! And then another! Punk is taking over Suplex City here in St. Pete!

Cody goes to a corner, Punk glances at the Mania sign, then SHINING WIZARD! BULLDOG! Punk snarls and says this is it! Punk says night night, Cody! Punk drags Cody up, fireman’s carries, but Cody fights free to dragon sleeper! But Punk snapmares free! So Cody JABS, JABS and JABS! Flip, flop, fly, BIONIC ELBOW! The fans fire up with Cody again and he looks to Heaven. Cody drags Punk up, dragon sleepers, but Punk fights free! ROUNDHOUSE! Cody stays on his feet but Punk dumps him at the ropes! Cody holds on for dear life! Cody lands safe on the apron and Punk is frustrated.

Punk stalks Cody, stomps him, then points to the sign! That might be premature, but Punk drags Cody back up. Punk fireman’s carries, but Cody slips free! CROSS RHODES!! Cody roars, shakes the ropes, and the fans are with him! Cody then storms back over to Punk, the fans rallying behind him, and Cody drags Punk up. Punk is deadweight, though, and then he suddenly fireman’s carries! GO TO SLEEP!! Both men fall over! “This is Awesome!” as Punk pushes himself back up. Punk glances at the sign again, then drags Cody up. Punk brings him around to another fireman’s carry! But Cody holds onto the ropes!

Cody drags Punk over with a crucifix! Punk kicks and flails to get free! Cody lands on the apron, slides under the bottom rope, but Punk stomps him. Punk drags Cody up again, underhooks, and grins as he hits a PEDIGREE!! If you know, you know. Punk even says he can’t believe he did that. Punk then says night night, and that he didn’t wait 10 years just to lose to “Dusty’s kid.” Punk fireman’s carries again, walks around with Cody, gives another look to the sign, GO TO- NO!! Cody blocks that and says he’s not just Dusty’s kid! Cody TOSSES Punk out, and WINS!!!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, at number 15 (2024 Men’s Royal Rumble winner)

And for the first time in over 25 YEARS, someone goes back to back in the Royal Rumble! Cody points to the sign, the pyro goes off, and The American Nightmare’s story still has a chance! Will he finish it once and for all at WrestleMania? Or will The Tribal Chief have something to say about that?


My Thoughts:

What an awesome Royal Rumble! And that’s even with two different flavors of “Heels surviving” finishes tonight. The US Championship going on before the Universal Championship was quite the surprise, and I would’ve thought the go-home math was in Kevin’s favor. Granted, Kevin gets to stand tall and they could easily make a rematch for WrestleMania, but I didn’t think Logan was gonna be go-home-math proof. As for Roman Reigns, of course the Fatal 4 Way ends up a less than perfect idea from Aldis. The challengers each got to hit their finishers on Roman, only for someone else to break it up, and of course Solo still had to get involved because Roman always needs his henchmen. If nothing else, Orton and Solo are going to have a great feud from here on out.

Great interviews in the kickoff show, and of course Heyman delivers another great promo. To be fair, Heyman is always a great promo. Anyway, great opening with the Women’s Rumble, great returns and even some surprises. These last few years, WWE seems to be working on a working relationship with TNA Impact, given how Jordynne Grace was here, following in Mickie James’ footsteps of being a Knockouts Champion that gets to be on a WWE program. Jade Cargill finally debuting was also great, and she got the honor of eliminating Nia after Nia looked near unstoppable. Jade and Nia is definitely a feud to go with going towards at least Elimination Chamber, maybe even having them both in the Chamber itself.

Bayley winning despite DMG CTRL getting eliminated was a great surprise in itself, as I thought this was Becky’s Rumble to win. Perhaps Becky is going to take the long route, winning the Chamber to be the new #1 contender to Rhea while DMG CTRL’s story plays out. Bayley will surely end up kicked out of the group and then turn her eyes on Iyo’s title. And awesome stuff in the Men’s Rumble. I wish they did more with Jey and Jimmy given how those two opened together, but maybe they wanna hold off on Uso VS Uso for a little longer. And I guess there was no good idea for another Kofi save, since Gunther just gets rid of him.

But we also got great stuff like Andrade’s return, though I hope he and Santos don’t stay at odds, that’s a great combo right there. Great return for Sami, luckily his knee wasn’t that badly damaged (assuming that injury was real at all and not just a way to give him time off). Good return for Ricochet, though it wasn’t like he was going to win either. And yeah, Omos returned. Omos might’ve been a sub for Lesnar since we can’t have Lesnar around right now during the newest round of the sex scandal stuff. But also it made it hilarious when Pat was to enter but he decided to bail because Omos was there. And good stuff with Melo and Bron representing NXT, and great stuff of Gunther and Cody revisiting last year.

Cody and Punk being the last two was a great move. It really made things exciting and unpredictable there, and as such, I actually did not think Cody would win given it was Punk in there with him. Cody gets to go back to back like HBK and Stone Cold, Cody points to Roman, Roman gets mad, that is obviously the match now. This could be a sign that HHH is changing up plans. Maybe Roman isn’t going to break Hogan’s record-setting reign, the number two longest reign of all time, because c’mon, how sad would it be to make Cody lose two years in a row? Cody has to win at WM40 to make WM40 feel like the biggest Mania ever, just as HHH promised.

My Score: 9.2/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (7/22/24)

Scores will be settled!

Published

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Will this be the Final Chapter for Xavier Woods?

The Final Testament have tried to tear The New Day apart, but Xavier Woods is still standing. Otis & Akira Tozawa stand with him, but will they win?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ilja Dragunov VS Bron Breakker; Bron wins and will challenge Sami Zayn for the title.
  • Lyra Valkyria w/ Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS Sonya Deville w/ Shayna Baszler & Zoey Stark; Sonya wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Xavier Woods, Akira Tozawa & Otis w/ Maxxine Dupri VS The Final Testament; The Final Testament wins.
  • Bronson Reed VS Pete Dunne; No Contest.
  • Zelina Vega VS Zoey Stark w/ Sonya Deville & Shayna Baszler; Zelina wins.
  • Sami Zayn & Jey Uso VS Finn Balor & JD McDonagh; Sami & Jey win.

PLAY BY PLAY

PROGRAMMING NOTE for Raw!

Because of the 2024 Summer Olympics, Raw moves over to SyFy for the next TWO weeks! Check your cable guides and DVRs to make sure you don’t miss a thing!

 

GUNTHER is here!

Green Bay is torn as Der Ring General walks to the ring. Gunther gets the mic, and as the fans boo, he says, “I know, I know. I know.” The fans boo more, but Gunther still says, “Let me explain myself real quick. I took some time to reflect on the things I said to Damian Priest last week. And I agree.” The fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Gunther says we should just skip that. HE MEANT EVERY WORD HE SAID! Priest and everyone in this arena here are BUMS! Because what is at stake is what is nearest and dearest to Gunther, and that is the honor and prestige of this great sport, and the World Heavyweight Championship,

“Ask yourself why did they send me out here first and not Damian Priest? That is because everybody in this company, and every one of you know, he does not live up to it. And that cute little sob story about fighting from the streets and whatever, that does not cover up the fact that Damian Priest is a pretender and a wannabe.” There is a saying where Gunther comes from. He says it in German first, then says, “Show me your friends, and I show you who you are.” We know Priest’s friends, The Judgment Day. And today’s the day when The Judgment Day will be judged by Der Ring General. And he judges them all collectively as TRASH!

The fans boo more but Gunther tells Priest that we know he’s back there. So for the last time, here is a generous offer. Just come on out, lift that weight off his shoulders that he’s not up to carrying, and hand Gunther his championship. Come on, let’s get this over with so we can move past this. Priest can even go home to the trailer park. But here comes El Campeon, and he is storming to the ring! The fans fire up as The Punisher then DECKS Gunther! The fans fire up for the brawl, but then refs run in! Gunther BOOTS Priest but Priest fires back! The brawl continues, security runs out there, and Gunther kicks Priest again!

Producers get in this, too, and the two are separated. But the fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!” Priest gets loose enough to SUPERKICK Gunther down! Gunther falls out of the ring, pushes guards aside, but then Priest fires off on guards, too! And he TOSSES one out onto the rest! Security falls but Gunther gets away! So Priest LEAPS out onto him! The brawl continues at the ramp, but the producers do everything they can to stop this! Gunther retreats, but Priest pursues! Priest CLOBBERS Gunther and Raw goes to break! Will this chaos continue through the commercials?

 

Raw returns and…

Jackie Redmond reports in that she’s about to get word from Gunther, but then Priest runs up outta nowhere! Priest CLOBBERS Gunther again, and fires off more hands! Gunther CLAWS Priest’s eyes, shoves him back, and security has to rush back in! Producers get in there, too, and Adam Pearce shouts for this to stop! It spills out into the backlot, and Gunther is sent into a road case! Priest still wants after Gunther but Gunther gets away, will either man even make it to SummerSlam?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ilja Dragunov VS Bron Breakker!

From one championship battle to another, The Mad Dragon wants some payback on this rabid dog called Bron Breakker. Dragunov was battling his heart out against Sami Zayn but Bron had to go and ruin that. Will Dragunov kill two birds with one Torpedo Moscow? Or will the Big Bad Booty Nephew prove he’s #MeanerThanEvil?

The bell rings and the two rush in! Bron avoids a boot to waistlock but Ilja throws elbows. Ilja then CHOPS and fans “WOO~!” Ilja eggs Bron on but Bron runs up to TACKLE Ilja! Bron HAMMERS Ilja, Ilja bails out, but Bron goes out to rain down forearms! Bron asks, “Anyone else wanna try to slap the crap?!” Bron SMACKS Ilja off the apron, hears the ring count, and pushes Ilja in at 6 of 10. Bron then storms up but Ilja fires off forearms and boxing elbows! Ilja ROCKS Bron, runs up, and KNEES Bron down! Ilja fires up and Green Bay is with him, and he stalks Bron to a corner. Ilja CHOPS Bron, bumps him off buckles, then CHOPS again!

Ilja keeps Bron up but Bron fires forearms in return. Bron UPPERCUTS, Ilja rebounds to BOOT! Bron tumbles out to the apron and the fans fire up with Ilja again. Ilja goes out, CLUBS Bron, then CHOPS! Bron fires body shots and haymakers! Bron CLUBS Ilja, Ilja body shots back! Ilja fireman’s carries Bron, the fans fire up again, but Bron holds ropes! Ilja lets go to get around Bron, and CLUBS him in the back. Bron goes to the other side of the corner, Ilja stands him up, and Ilja fires forearms. Bron SMACKS Ilja off the buckle! The fans rally, Bron drags Ilja back up, and they go up the corner! The fans rally up and Ilja fights the suplex!

Ilja throws body shots, but now Bron fights the suplex! They go to the very top, and Bron GOURD BUSTERS Ilja on the post! Ilja falls to the floor, Bron laughs, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Ilja endures a bearhug! Bron squeezes but the fans rally for Ilja. Ilja CLUBS Bron, is free, and he SLAPS Bron! And SLAPS! And SLAPS! Bron shakes his head, catches Ilja to a fireman’s carry, and a GUTBUSTER DROP! Cover, TWO! Ilja survives but Bron grins. Ilja shakes his head, Bron drags him up, and the fans rally as Bron reels Ilja in. Bron lifts Ilja but Ilja punches free of the bomb to DDT! Both men are down again and the fans continue to rally. Both men rise, and Ilja CHOPS! Bron ROCKS Ilja, Ilja fires back! They go back and forth, but then Ilja CHOPS! SPIN CHOP! CHOP to the leg! Another CHOP high!

Bron staggers, Ilja ENZIGIRIS! Bron stumbles, but he gets moving! Ilja BOOTS him first! Ilja then runs up, dodges Bron, CONSTANTINE SPECIAL! Green Bay is thunderous as both men rise, and Ilja CHOPS Bron in a corner. Ilja bumps Bron off buckles, CHOPS again, then goes corner to corner and back again, for a JUMP KNEE! Bron stumbles, Ilja keeps moving, BOOT WASH in the corner! The fans fire up and Ilja drags Bron back up. Ilja reels Bron in, but Bron fights the lift! Ilja’s back bothers him but he still tries. Bron gets free, but Ilja SLAPOs, SLAPS and DISCUS SLAPS! Then he lifts Bron for a POWERBOMB!! Cover, TWO!!

Bron survives and Ilja is beside himself! The fans fire up, “This is Awesome!” and Ilja drags himself to a corner. Ilja rises up the ropes, but Bron rises. Bron anchors Ilja, Ilja CLUBS away on him. Ilja SLAPS Bron away, but Bron comes back and springs right up! SUPER STEINER! Cover, TWO!! Ilja survives and Bron is stunned! Bron hurries up a corner and he takes aim. Ilja rises, and he ENZIGIRIS a leg out! Bron is stuck on his Steiner, and Ilja goes up after him! SUPER DUPER PLEX!! Ilja rises, to H-BOMB FOREARM!! But he can’t make the cover! Bron rolls away to the apron to save himself! Ilja crawls over and fans rally up.

Ilja snarls, drags Bron up to fireman’s carry, but Bron holds ropes! Ilja still hits an APRON DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Bron flops to the floor and the fans are thunderous again! Ilja crawls along the apron, “This is Awesome!” as he takes aim. SUPER H- SPEAR!!! Ilja gets sandwiched between Bron and apron! Bron slides into the ring and waits. The ref checks Ilja, and then calls it!? Bron wins by default!

Winner: Bron Breakker, by referee stoppage (NEW #1 Contender to the Intercontinental Championship)

The fans boo but the ref calls for medical. The medics check Ilja, who still seems knocked for a loop. Bron gets his second shot at Sami Zayn, will he end up doing the exact same thing to the champ? Or will Sami be able to turn the tide just like he did at Money in the Bank?

 

Judgment Day hangs out in the clubhouse.

They’re still playing WWE 2K, but also arguing about some things. Rhea Ripley has them all snap out of it. They might’ve lost Priest for the night, since he’s focused on his world title. But they also have the World Tag Team Championships, and she is going to get back her Women’s World Championship. JD says not long now, and she says right. Not long now until The Judgment Day holds all the gold once again. Dominik says that’s great, but he wants to talk with her. She accepts and they step aside. Dom knows they had a good week reconnecting, but… Dom just worries about what he saw online with Jey Uso asking for her number and she said, “Yeet.”

Rhea tells Dom to calm down. She’s just messing around. Unlike what Dom was doing with Liv Morgan. Rhea was watching Dom’s socials, too, y’know. Finn Balor steps in. He thinks Dom needs to take care of Jey once and for all! The boys agree, but Rhea says no, Jey doesn’t matter at all. Oh, is Rhea defending Jey? No! She’s not defending anyone. But what’s the point of starting a war with Jey? Dom, use your brain. Carlito agrees, use your brain. JD asks whose side Carlito’s on, and Finn looks at Dom. “You know what you have to do.” Is peer pressure about to get in Dirty Dom’s head?

 

Adam Pearce talks backstage with Drew McIntyre.

It seems McIntyre finally does apologize to the refs, and he shakes hands with the Raw GM. McIntyre has been reinstated, but will he be able to keep his cool with CM Punk also in the building tonight?

 

Xavier Woods and the (former) Alpha Academy celebrate.

It’s Tozawa’s birthday, so he gets a cake! He blows out the candles, and the group digs in. Otis uses his bare hands and says “OH YEAH~!” Tozawa does his shuffle and Woods says that’s naaasty~! But will things get real nasty when they take on Karrion Kross & The Authors of Pain later tonight?

 

Lyra Valkyria w/ Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS Sonya Deville w/ Shayna Baszler & Zoey Stark!

The Morrigan and her new pals in the party gals have been beefing with this new trio of hunters, and we saw KC Squared get cheated just last week. Will Lyra humble Sonya so soon after her return? Or will Sonya go 2-0 real quick with help from her new friends?

Raw returns and Sonya makes her entrance, Shayna & Zoey by her side. The bell rings, the fans rally and the two circle. They tie up, and Sonya powers Lyra back. Lyra turns things around, they end up on ropes, then a corner. The ref counts, Lyra and Sonya move from the corner, and Sonya fires knee after knee! Sonya throws Lyra down by her hair, then soaks up the heat. Sonya gets in Lyra’s face, but Lyra SLAPS her! Lyra RAMS Sonya into the corner, RAMS her again and again, then stomps a mudhole in! The ref counts, Lyra lets off, and she blocks a boot to ROCK Sonya! Lyra whips corner to corner but Sonya reverses.

Lyra goes up and over and handsprings, tot hen sweep the legs! Sonya flounders, into a SHOTGUN! Cover, ONE!! Sonya bails out to the apron then regroups with her team. Lyra rallies the fans and builds speed, but Shayna saves Sonya! Sonya then THROWS Lyra into barriers! The fans boo but Sonya soaks it up. Kayden & Katana check on Lyra while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Lyra ROCKS Sonya up top! Lyra climbs but Sonya CLUBS her over and over! Lyra hops down but then hops back up to fire more forearms! Lyra HAMMERS Sonya, brings her up, and the fans rally up for the SUPERPLEX! Both women are down and writhing from that rough landing, but the fans rally back up. Lyra rises, Sonya sits up, and Lyra fires a forearm! And another! Sonya hits back, then SOBATS! Sonya KICKS Lyra, KICKS her down, and Lyra sits up. Lyra avoid the sliding knee to kip up and ENZIGIRI! Lyra hurries to reel Sonya in, but Sonya wrenches out! Lyra steps over to SOBAT!

Lyra KICKS, HEADBUTTS, KICKS and HEEL KICKS! Sonya falls, Lyra brings her back around. Scoop and NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Sonya escapes and the fans rally up. Shayna & Zoey are stressed for Sonya as Lyra brings her up. Lyra fireman’s carries, but Sonya slips free to dragon sleeper! But Lyra snapmares free! Sonya comes back, wants a leg, but Lyra steps over to gut wrench! Lyra holds Sonya upside-down, to then GUT WRENCH BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sonya survives but Lyra is not stopping! Lyra goes up a corner, but Shayna gets on the apron! The ref stops her but misses Zoey SHOVE Lyra down!

The fans boo but then Kayden & Katana YANK Shayna down! They TOSS Shayna, then DECK Zoey! But Sonya SHOVES Katana! Zoey SUPERKICKS Kayden! Sonya runs up, Lyra dodges to WRECK Shayna with a dropkick! But Sonya drags Lyra in for DEVILLE’S ADVOCATE! Cover, Sonya wins!

Winner: Sonya Deville, by pinfall

As the theme song says, Sonya’s a beast and a menace, but she’s also the winner. Shayna & Zoey raise her hands in victory, will these three do what they want to who they want until they are in control of the Women’s Division?

 

The Wyatt Sick6 have another video.

“Look at yourself. Look at yourself. Look at yourself!” Sister Abigail smiles. “They lied to you. Ignored you. Watched you suffer in solitude. I have been the answer all along.” Sister Abigail goes from laughing to crying to shrieking. Is that Nikki Cross? What darkness has consumed her sanity to make her into… this?

 

CM Punk is here!

Green Bay fires up for the Best in the World as he makes his way out, and he high-fives the fans by the stage area on his way to the ramp. Then Punk makes sure we know, “It’s CLOBBERIN’ Time~!” Punk continues down to ringside, high-fives some more fans, and even Samantha Irving before he steps inside the ring. The fans chant for “C M PUNK! C M PUNK!” as he gets the mic. Punk says, “Is it great to be alive on a Monday night in Green Bay, Wisconsin or what?” The fans cheer that! Punk asks if Green Bay’s bay is really green. Maybe it is, and his shoes are pink, and it is time to stain them both with the blood of a Scottish Psychopath!

Because Punk saw his surgeon on Saturday night, and Punk is CLEARED! That means Punk will get his pound of flesh, so McIntyre, come get the beating you deserve! Punk wraps up his fists with tape, the fans fire up behind him, and here comes McIntyre! The Scottish Psychopath has a mic of his own as he glares at Punk from the stage. McIntyre can’t tell us how long he’s waited for this. With how Punk has screwed him over and over, there will be nothing to stop McIntyre from getting in that ring and tearing Punk apart! Except the fact he doesn’t want to. What? Well, Punk wants to! Punk goes out, but security and refs rush in!

The fans boo and McIntyre tells Punk to relax. Their match is too big for Green Bay. This is big money. Control your emotions, Punk. McIntyre is chill. When he’s emotional, he tends to turn to family. He shows off the bracelet! Punk is even angrier, but Adam Pearce tells McIntyre that this is enough. It’s been ten minutes, McIntyre can’t help himself. What McIntyre isn’t telling everyone is that there’s a reason they’re not fighting tonight. McIntyre is officially reinstated, Punk is officially medically cleared, so IT IS OFFICIAL: McIntyre VS Punk at SUMMERSLAM! The fans love that, but Punk still wants to fight now!

Pearce says another thing that’s not clear is that if either one lays a finger on the other, not only is the match off, the first person to swing gets suspended indefinitely! The chaos has to stop! Between these two, Gunther and Priest, Pearce has a big problem, but also a big referee problem. And here comes Seth Rollins!! The Visionary swaggers out in a frilly curtain of a coat, the fans sing along with “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” and Rollins laughs as he passes McIntyre. Rollins promises they’ll all love this one. Rollins and Pearce shake hands, and Rollins heads into the ring. Rollins gets himself a mic, and says, “Oh yeah< Green Bay, we had ourselves a problem, didn’t we?”

See, Drew hates Punk, Punk hates Drew, and both these morons, all the chaos they’ve caused the past year has scared away everybody from getting in between them. But Rollins isn’t a problem guy, Green Bay. No, no, no. Rollins is a solutions guy! And he thinks he has a solution. Rollins knows a guy who thrives on chaos, and who would love nothing more than to put these two in their places! He is a Visionary… He is a Revolutionary…! And at SummerSlam, he is your SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE! HE is Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins!! The fans are thunderous but both Punk and Drew step up to the apron. Rollins swaggers now, but will he have to lay down the law in The Land?

 

Judgment Day searches backsatge.

Are they trying to find Jey? Carlito says divide and conquer. JD will check catering. Carlito says catering sounds good. They go that way, and then Finn says he’ll go over this way while Dom goes the other way, and they’ll double back. Dom says okay, and heads out. Only for Liv to find him first! Dom says stop it, Liv, you can’t keep doing this. Liv says she just wants to check on him. Rhea’s going off the deep end, how is Dom doing? Dom asks what she’s even doing. Liv hushes him and says it is okay. She knows how Rhea makes Dom feel. Don’t worry about it, everything will be okay.

Dom says everything IS okay, now! Rhea and Dom are perfect actually. That’s the spirit. What? Finn returns and Liv says that’s her cue. Bye, Daddy Dom. Finn says he left Dom alone for ten seconds, what happened? Dom asks back if Finn saw Jey. Maybe he went this way, aka the way Liv went. Finn stops Dom before he gets started, and they go the other way. Finn sighs, will Dom ever get his head on straight?

 

Backstage interview with Sami Zayn.

Cathy Kelley is with the WWE Intercontinental Champion and asks him about Bron Breakker being his challenger. Is he concerned seeing what happened to Ilja tonight? “Concerned” may not be the word for it, but we all saw what Bron did to Ilja. They went to war, they wanted this title, and Bron did earn his shot. “Concern” isn’t the word, but Sami is taking Bron very seriously. Sami tells Bron that Bron should be careful not to make the same mistake he did at MITB by taking Sami very seriously. Sami will do what he does every single time this title is on the line, and that is bring 100%.

Cathy says we have yet to get an update on Ilja’s exact injury, but- Wait, what is that noise? They look down the hall, and we see Judgment Day beatin up on Jey! Sami hits back! Sami fires off on JD, Jey hits Carlito, and the brawl is on! Sami SMACKS JD off the road case, but Carlito says bail out! Carlito gets JD outta there, Sami helps Jey to his feet. Will Sami & Jey have to make sure something is done about Judgment Day?

 

Six Man Tag: Xavier Woods, Akira Tozawa & Otis w/ Maxxine Dupri VS The Final Testament!

They blew out the candles, had the cake, and now this match will be the special birthday gift for the Stamina Monster! Can Woods, Tozawa & Otis be a new super trio that takes down Karrion Kross & The Authors of Pain? Or will this already be their Final Chapter?

Raw returns and The Final Testament makes their entrance. The trios sort out and Woods starts against Kross. The fans rally as the two circle, and “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” But Kross tags out to Rezar. Woods figured as much, and he dodges the Albanian Psycho to mule kick! Woods fires hands, but Rezar RAMS Woods into a corner! Rezar CHOKES Woods, lets off as the ref counts, then runs in. Woods dodges to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Rezar just gets mad and TOSSES Woods to the Testament’s corner. Tag to Akam, and he stomps Woods down. Rezar CLUBS Woods, and Akam soaks up heat. The fans boo but Akam CLUBS Woods.

The “Punjabi Nightmare” whips Woods, but Woods ducks ‘n’ dodges to then FLYIGN FOREARM! The fans fire up and Woods ROCKS Akam again! Woods stomps Akam, CHOPS him, CHOPS him, and CHOPS him again! Woods wrenches, Tozawa tags in, and Tozawa climbs to AX HANDLE! Tozawa runs to ROCK Akam! Akam grabs Tozawa by the neck! Akam scoops, Tozawa slips free and he DUMPS Akam out! The fans fire up as Tozawa then WRECKS Akam with a dropkick! TOZAWA TOPE and down goes Akam! The fans fire up, and Tozawa rips his shirt! The Stamina Monster is runnin’ wild while Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Akam knocks Tozawa over. The fans boo but Akam drags Tozawa back up, only for Tozawa to throw hands! The fans fire up and Tozawa fires haymakers! Akam shoves Tozawa to ELBOW him down! Cover, TWO! Maxxine and the fans rally but Kross tags in. Kross stomps Tozawa, stalks him to a corner, then hauls him up. Kross whips corner to corner but Tozawa goes up to CROSSBODY! Kross catches him for a fireman’s carry! F5 THOUSAND! Kross roars but the fans boo. Kross stomps Tozawa, the fans chant “We Want Otis!” Kross smirks, then sucker punches Woods! Kross runs upb ut Tozawa BOOTS him!

Kross returns but Tozawa SUPERKICKS! Tozawa then dodges Kross, hto tag to Otis! Wisconsin’s own starts rallying on The Final Testament! LARIAT after LARIAT and Green Bay is thunderous! Otis even rolls and comes back to LARIAT! The fans are electric as Otis SPLASHES Akam in a corner! Akam falls, and Otis takes off the vest! Otis wiggles those hips and hits the CATERPILLAR~ ELBOW! Akam bails out and the fans go wild! But Kross ROCKS Otis with a forearm! Kross runs up, Otis ELBOWS him, and Woods tags in. Rezar drags Otis out, Woods goes up, and Woods MISSILE DROPKICKS Kross!

Tozawa goes up to SUPER CROSSBODY Rezar! The fans fire up and Woods kips up to fire fast hands on Kross! The ref gets in there, Woods says get outta here! Woods fires more hands, then SUPERKICKS Akam! But Kross scoops Woods for a FINAL PRAYER!! Cover, Final Testament wins!

Winner: The Final Testament, by pinfall

Woods on fire, but he could not stop the apocalypse. Kross mockingly applauds Woods, but will he ever break Woods’ spirit? Wait, here comes the new Alpha Academy, Chad Gable & The Creed Brothers. The fans chant “YOU SUCK!” but what does Gable have to say? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and…

Gable & The Creeds are in the ring with Otis, Tozawa & Maxxine. The fans still chant “YOU SUCK!” but Gable ignores that. He says, “My old crew. Now, the reason I asked for you guys to stay out here tonight is because there is something in me that needs to just keep helping my former pupils, y’know? I can’t help myself. That’s just the type of guy I am, I guess.” Gable says Otis has assumed a leadership position in the group, that’s an interesting choice. But the first thing he does is team with Xavier Woods, and loses! Now, the coach in Gable would say Otis has to lead with his mind, but we all know using his brain isn’t Otis’ strong point.

The fans boo but Gable says using his brain IS his strong suit. That’s why he has Julius & Brutus Creed, a couple fine and professional freak athletes to stand by his side. And they’ll fill in where there were some weaknesses. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Otis, do the right thing and come back to your coach to rejoin the Academy. The fans boo and say “NO! NO! NO!” Gable says whoa, hey, a little incentive first. The Wyatt Sick6 is after everyone, including them, so they can get extra protection. Otis asks, “Protection? Are you sure, Chad Gable? Like you protected the Creed Brothers last week?”

Otis says oh yeah, when things get juicy, get dangerous, Gable flees the scene, leaving the other two for dead in the ring. Otis says that is the kind of man Gable is. As for Otis’ answer, it is still “No.” The fans cheer and Gable says he’s an idiot! Maxxine, Tozawa, you’re not letting this clown speak for you, are you? But they stay by Otis’ side! Green Bay cheers Otis, and Gable says well then, this is unfortunate. Boys! The Creeds CLOBBER Otis & Tozawa! Brutus TOSSES Tozawa, then the brothers mug Otis 2v1! The fans boo, Maxxine hurries to Tozawa’s side, and Otis blasts free! Otis DOUBLE LARIATS The Creeds!

Otis is face to face with Gable and Gable panics! Otis grabs Gable by the neck, pops him up, but The Creeds save Gable from a powerslam! The Creeds & Gable stomp away 3v1 now, and they sit Otis up. They POST Otis, and Otis tumbles out to the apron and then floor. The fans boo as they haul Otis up again, throw more hands, and then RAM him into the apron side! Gable brings his new boys chairs! But then the lights start turning off! Gable panics all over again as the fireflies come out! The fans tell Gable he done messed up now! The fog rolls in, the piano plays, but Julius & Brutus are ready to fight!

The eerie light shines from the stage, and out step Abigail, Huskus, Mercy & Ramblin’ Rabbit! But then wait, UNCLE HOWDY is behind Gable!! “There you are!” Gable turns around, into the SISTER ABIGAIL!! Howdy hits Gable with that wicked sidewinder! The Wyatts are here, will they make Gable learn the error of his ways?

 

Bronson Reed VS Pete Dunne!

The Colossal Aussie beat the Bruiserweight, lost to the Celtic Warrior, but he still got the better of them both in the end. Will he demolish Dunne all over again? Or will the former NXT UK Champion show us he can #StandTall all on his own?

But then Sheamus KNEES Dunne down!! Bronson says okay, let’s go! He and Sheamus fire off forearms and haymakers and the fans fire up! Bronson HEADBUTTS Sheamus, fireman’s carries, but Sheamus slips free to KNEE Bronson! Dunne is back up but Sheamus tosses him out! Sheamus has Dunne on the ropes, for BEATS OF THE BODRHAIN! The fans count all the way to TEN! Dunne flops back in, Sheamus throws his shirt for a free souvenir! Sheamus aims from a corner, and he- NO, Dunne bails out to avoid the Brogue! So Sheamus just changes targets, BROGUE for Bronson!

Bronson bails out and The Fella stands tall! Will the 15 YEAR WWE icon just have to fight everybody to remind everybody who the hell he is?

 

Judgment Day regroups backstage.

JD & Carlito are still sore and Rhea asks what the hell! They found Jey… Then Sami found them… It didn’t go well. JD says Carlito, c’mon, you don’t always have to tell the truth. Finn says he is tired of the disrespect! He talked with Pearce, so it is official! Finn & McDonagh will take down Jey & Sami! Then next week, if Gunther wants to call The Judgment Day a joke, then we’ll see who is laughing when he faces Finn 1v1! Rhea says okay, cool, but she told them not to mess with Jey! And now Sami is involved! Oh, and where were Dom & Finn when that scrap happened? Carlito chuckles and says ask Liv.

Rhea asks Dom what that means and Dom says he has no idea what was going on. Liv just- Rhea stops him there and says they’re going to the ring. The fans fire up as Rhea drags her Latino Heat out of the room. What is about to go down when Mami and Dommy go out there?

 

Backstage interview with Sheamus.

Jackie Redmond is with The Fella and brings up his attack on Bronson and former friend, Dunne. What exactly is going on here? Sheamus says he knows this business like the back of his hand. Bronson wanted to take Sheamus out of this business just so he could be the man that ended the Celtic Warrior. And as for his old brawling buddy, Pete, that’s still a head scratcher. Whatever issue Pete has with Sheamus, they can easily settle it. They can go to an ol’ Irish pub, have a pint, and settle this like proper fellas. Or they can take this to the ring and find out who the real bruiserweight is. Up for a banger? Sheamus heads out, what will be Dunne’s response?

 

Rhea & Dom go to the ring!

The fans cheer as Mami pushes Dirty Dom down the ramp and ushers him into the ring. Rhea then gets a mic to shout at Liv! If Liv wants him, then come get him! What?! Liv makes her entrance, but from the bleachers behind Rhea & Dom. Liv says hi, guys~! And Rhea, um, no, Liv’s not gonna be going to the ring, because unlike Rhea, Liv has some self control. Liv waited for Rhea all this time, she can wait until SummerSlam. And the reason Liv is here is obvious: It’s because she has feelings for Dom! Rhea glares at Dom but Liv says Dom surely has feelings for Liv, and no one can deny that.

But you know why that is? It’s because gorgeous men like Dom don’t go for girls that look like Rhea. No, gorgeous men like Dom go for girls that look like Liv. Liv shows off the shorts, and then Dom stops Rhea from storming out of the ring! Rhea pushes Dom, Dom grabs at Rhea, but Rhea glares at him! Rhea says let go, but Dom wants her to listen. What does Dom want?! Dom says he will take care of this. Liv says hold on, Green Bay, hold on, let Dom talk. The fans boo but Liv says please let Dom speak. Because she knows what he’s gonna say, and she feels the exact same way. So Dom, finally just say those three little words!

Dom asks Liv if she wants those three little words. Yes, please! Dom says “I HATE YOU!!” IS she stupid?! Deaf!? She has RUINED his life over and over again! Liv is about to cry as Dom insults her more! Dom cannot stand Liv, she’s ruined so much of his life! Liv backs away sobbing, and fans boo Dom more. Rhea smiles, proud of her Dommy. She whispers something to him and he smiles. Rhea then licks Dom on the cheek before kissing him on the cheek. How is it that Dom has these two fighting over him like he’s the championship? And speaking of the championship, will Liv’s broken heart cost her the title at SummerSlam?

 

On stage interview with Zelina Vega.

Cathy Kelley is there to ask Zelina about last week, the damaged suffered at the hands of Sonya Deville. Zelina’s arm is all wrapped up, so is she worried about having another match so soon? Zelina says she’s a Boricua, this is not going to stop her! She said it before and will say it again, no one can keep Zelina Vega down. She’s been underestimated her whole life, so it is time to prove people wrong and shutting people the hell up! Fans cheer that, and La Muneca continues to the ring. But will having a target on that arm only make it easy for The Hunter to hit the mark?

Zelina Vega VS Zoey Stark w/ Sonya Deville & Shayna Baszler!

Raw returns and Zoey makes her entrance, Sonya & Shayna by her side. The bell rings and the two circle. Zoey runs up, Zelina gets around and rolls her up, ONE! Zoey swings, Zelina ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl, but Zoey powers Zelina around to head for a corner. Zelina slips free to send Zoey into buckles! Zelina kicks, kicks again, but Zoey blocks! Zoey grabs the bad arm, wrenches and WRINGS it! Zelina writhes but Zoey grabs the arm. Zoey stands on the arm, soaks up the heat, but Zelina avoids the knee drop! Zelina KICKS Zoey, runs, but is sent into ropes! Zelina sputters, and Zoey rains down fists!

The fans boo but Zoey paces around. Zoey drags Zelina up, but Zelina fires forearms. Zoey KNEES low, CLUBS her, then RAMS her into a corner. Zoey RAMS into Zelina again and again, then pulls on the bad arm! Zelina fires shots with her good arm, then BOOTS Zelina away! Zoey runs back in but is sent into buckles! Zelina runs in to METEORA! Zelina goes up and up, but Zoey CLUBS her! Zoey climbs up after Zelina, but Zelina elbows her away! Zelina goes to the very top, but Zoey is right up after her! Zoey grabs the bad arm, to HOTSHOT Zelina down! Zelina falls to the floor and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Zoey suplexes Zelina, but Zelina cradle counters! TWO!! Zoey gets free, runs up, but into a BOOT! Zelina then sends Zeoy out, but Zoey springboards in to MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Zoey is frustrated but she clamps onto the bad arm for a top wristlock. Zelina endures, even as Zoey leans on the hold. The fans rally, Zelina fights up, and Zelina fires body shots. Zelina arm-drags free, then KICKS! KICKS! And KICKS! Zelina fires off shots, but Zoey blocks one, so Zelina ENZIGIRIS! The fans fire up more as Zelina runs, tilt-o-whirls, and DDTS! Zoey tumbles around and the fans fire up with Zelina!

Zelina goes to a corner, goes up and up, and MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Zoey survives and Zelina is frustrated. Zelina watches Zoey rise, then hops on, but Zoey slips free. SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO! Zelina is tougher than that and Zoey is frustrated. Zoey storms up on Zelina, waistlocks, but Zelina victory rolls Zoey into ropes! The fans fire up but Sonya gets on the apron! The ref stops Sonya but Shayna trips Zelina! No 619 here and the fans boo. But the ref notices something has to be up. But then Lyra, Kayden & Katana run out here to CLOBBER Shayna & Sonya! Zoey sees that, still flits Zelina, but Zelina ROCKS Zoey!

Zelina realizes her arm brace packs a punch! So she ROCKS Zoey again! Then she hops on for CODE RED! Cover, Zelina wins!!

Winner: Zelina Vega, by pinfall

Lyra, Kayden & Katana celebrate with Zelina as she gets even with The Hunter! Will these four stand up against the new bullies on the block?

 

Woods finds Pearce backstage.

Woods knows the GM always has a lot on his plate, people complaining to him every single week, but Woods needs Kross 1v1. Pearce asks if he’s sure. Woods says yes, he can’t drag anyone else into this, he has to do this himself. Pearce says alright, consider it official. Woods thanks Pearce and heads out, but then in steps McIntyre. So Pearce didn’t think to mention Rollins as special guest referee was an important enough detail before McIntyre went out there? Hold on, McIntyre. If you have a problem with this, you shouldn’t have put hands on refs in the first place. But he wanted a match so here’s what Pearce has for him.

McIntyre points out this is Seth Rollins, though! He knows the history between them! And that Rollins and Punk are also “nasty” with each other just for stuff Punk said on the internet. But McIntyre took the world title from Rollins at WrestleMania, how is this fair? Oh, “fair?” Well, they’re all going to be in the ring together next week and we’ll see how fair Rollins is when he gives them his official referee instructions. Now if you’ll excuse Pearce, he needs a drink. Pearce leaves and McIntyre asks what he even means by that. Will The Architect’s plans for SummerSlam be fair to everyone involved? Or will he make some… special adjustments?

 

Backstage interview with Alba Fyre & Isla Dawn.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, and knows that later this week, they will appear on SmackDown to properly address the challenge thrown out by Bianca Belair & Jade Cargill. What can we expect this Friday? Oh, they’ll be there to meet the former champions, but they have everything right now. They run this division. Shayna asks if they’re serious right now. She, Sonya & Zoey walk in and say Alba & Isla have been visiting the other show so much that they’re not paying attention. Shayna, Sonya & Zoey have been running things week after week.

Oh, yeah? Even after Zelina just beat Zoey out there? Alba says everyone is running through these three right now. Sonya says Zelina made the biggest mistake of her career, and so did those other girls. Sonya’s trio will handle them later. But what Alba & Isla need to understand is that Bianca & Jade aren’t their biggest threat, Sonya’s trio is. And they’ll be the ones to take those titles off the champs. Isla says they’re more than welcome to try. Oh, they will. See you soon. Sonya leads her team away but the wicked witches don’t sweat them. Will Alba & Isla make all the other teams curse the day they came for the gold?

 

Gunther speaks.

“Respectable champions, impressive legacies, unmatched impact. All living out their dreams, but all weighed down by fragile egos. Fragile egos that have shattered the reputation of the World Heavyweight Championship. All simple men that will shrink in front of a titan. This is why WWE desperately needed me. And this is why the World Heavyweight Championship needs me: to create a new mountain top.” Gunther admits Rollins did a fantastic job elevating this title. But the burden of being the workhorse drove Rollins into the ground. Drew McIntyre was so concerned with an afterthought like CM Punk that he held onto the title for only five minutes!

And now, as Damian Priest honorably carries the weight on his shoulders, his foundation is starting to crack. All his work for this dream will slip away from him. It’s a shame. As Gunther looks around at the cast of challengers, it becomes truly… disgusting. He cannot respect entertainers more concerned with making the crowds sings, or hitting some clever line for the respect of the mindless. None of that means anything once you step into that sacred ring. Gunther is the only one who can redefine the prestige of the World Heavyweight Championship, and bring it to a level no title has seen before.

At SummerSlam, the future of this great sport is on the line. And just like everyone else that said they’d teach Gunther a lesson, Priest will fail. Gunther will showcase the power, dominance and prestige this sport still desperately needs! At SummerSlam, Der Ring General will become Der World Heavyweight Champion! Gunther makes that promise, but will he be able to keep it?

 

Sami Zayn & Jey Uso VS Finn Balor & JD McDonagh w/ Dominik Mysterio & Carlito!

Just as the WWE Intercontinental Champion was worrying about his plans, he came to the rescue of his friend, his “dawg,” Main Event Jey! And now they’re in the main event together, taking on the WWE World Tag Team Champions! Could we see Sami & Jey feeling ucey after tonight? Or will the Judgment Day prove they run Monday Night Raw?

Sami & Jey make their way through the crowded pavilion, and Jey says, “C’mon, Uce!” The fans ‘YEET! YEET! YEET!” as they follow this dynamic duo, and they even hand over some foam YEET hands! The secret handshake returns, and the fans cheer more! Jey says hit his music! “UUUSOOO~!” Jey & Sami then make their entrance down through the bleachers and fans bounce along with the song. Jey even high-fives Pat & Cole before getting in the ring. Will Jey & Sami YEET Judgment Day right outta the building? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns and The Judgment Day makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Finn starts against Jey. The fans “YEET!” already as Finn and Jey circle. They feel things out, tie up, and Finn headlocks. Jey endures the grind, powers up and out, but Finn runs him over! Cover, TWO! Finn ELBOWS Jey in the head, brings him around and bumps him off buckles. Finn fires body shots, RAMS into Jey, then tells the ref to back off. Finn whips JEy corner to corner, but Jey goes up and over! Jey UPERPCUTS Finn off his feet! Finn flounders to a corner, Jey says “YEET!” and runs up to ELBOW! And PELE! Finn falls, Jey covers, TWO!

Jey stays cool and he storms up on Finn. Jey brings Finn up, wrenches, and he tags Sami. The fans cheer as Sami goes up to AX HANDLE! Finn clutches his arm, but Sami brings him up and in. Finn RAMS Sami into the corner! Tag to JD and the tag champs mug Sami. The ref counts, the fans sing “OLE~! OLE OLE OLE~!” and JD lets off. JD CLUBS Sami, whips, but Sami goes up and over to LARIAT! The fans fire up, Sami drags JD up and bumps him off buckles. The ref has Sami back off, but then JD YANKS Sami into buckles! The ref reprimands but JD CLUBS Sami down. JD drags Sami up to snapmare and ELBOW him down.

JD soaks up the heat, runs and drops the leg, brother! Cover, ONE!! Sami is tougher than that, but JD sucker punches Jey! The fans boo, but Sami LARIATS JD up and out! Finn runs in but Sami TOSSES him! Sami then goes to the apron and mule kicks each of them, before the ARABIAN PRESS SAULT! Direct hit on Finn & JD and Green Bay fires up! Sami stands tall and storms back over. Dom storms up but Sami backs him off! The ref stops Sami, and he tells Dom to back off. But Carlito POSTS Sami behind the ref’s back! The fans boo but Caribbean Cool gets away with that, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Finn stomps a mudhole into Sami at the corner. The ref counts, Finn lets off, but JD digs his boot in now! The fans boo, Finn storms back up to jump stomp Sami down! Tag to JD, he drags Sami up but keeps him from Jey. JD reels Sami in for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up for Sami as he reaches out for Jey. JD stomps Sami, stays between him and Jey, then facelocks. Fans “YEET! YEET! YEET!” and Sami fights up! Sami reaches out, Jey reaches out, and Sami back drops JD away! Finn hurries to tag in and CLOBBER Sami! Cover, TWO! Finn rains down fists on Sami while fans boo.

Finn stomps Sami, sits him up and ELBOWS him down! Cover, ONE!! Sami powers up but Finn RAMS him into the corner! Tag to JD and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! But Sami COHSP! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Then he CHOPS Finn! JD ROCKS Sami, kicks and whips, but Sami KICKS JD! JD wobbles, swings, but into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Sami and JD crawl, hot tags to Finn and Jey! The fans are thunderous as Jey fires haymakers on Finn! “YEET! YEET! YEET!” Jey pops, locks ‘n’ puts some stank on that YEET! Finn staggers, Jey whips, but Finn reverses. Jey dodges to mule kick!

Jey takes off the shirt, and he UPPERCUTS Finn! Finn blocks the kick but not the DRAGON WHIP! Finn goes to a corner, JD runs in! JD blocks a kick but takes a DRAGON WHIP, too! Jey sees Finn and JD in opposite corners, and the fans fire up with “UCE! SO!” HIP ATTACK for JD! HIP- NO, Finn TOSSES Jey out! But Jey GAMANGIRIS! Jey goes up and up and CROSSBODIES Finn! Cover, TWO! Finn is tougher than that but Jey stays cool. The fans rally up, Jey watches Finn flounder, and he runs in, into a KICK! But Jey stops the slingblade! Jey whips, fireman’s carries, but Finn CLAWS eyes to hit the SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO!

Finn snarls and Dom coaches him. Finn calls to JD, then brings Jey up in the corner. JD stands up, Finn fires body shots then snapmares Jey. Tag to JD and he slingshots to ARABIAN PRESS! Cover, TWO! JD argues with the ref but the ref defends his count. JD stomps Jey’s fingers, then he tags back to Finn. JD throws down hands on Jey, then stands Jey up. Finn climbs, but Jey fights free! Finn leaps, into a SUPERKICK! The fans fire up while both men are down! Sami rises and the fans fire up more! Finn and Jey crawl, hot tags to JD and Sami! The Great Liberator catches the Irish Ace first, for a CORNER EXPLODER!

The fans fire up as Sami aims from across the way! But Carlito gets on the apron! And Dom anchors Sami! The fans boo, Sami gets loose, but JD runs up to hit a SPANISH FLY!! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives and Judgment Day can’t believe it! JD SLAPS Sami, fires more hands, then kicks low. “This is Awesome!” as JD brings Sami up. JD whips, Jey tags in! Sami BOOTS JD, Jey SUPERKICKS! JD sputters, Jey & Sami coordinate! Whip and ONE D!! The fans are thunderous, but Carlito throws Finn in to break the cover! Finn drags Sami up to TOSS him out, then drags JD over so he can tag in. Finn then storms up on Jey, but Jey UPPERCUTS!

Jey fires haymakers, “YEET! YEET! YEET!” JD is up but Jey UPPERCUTS! JD falls, SLINGBLADE from Finn! Finn fires up, aims at Jey from the corner, SHOT- SUPERKICK!! Carlito gets up, Jey DECKS him! Carlito’s apple spit goes flying! Jey DECKS Dom, then runs up on JD! JD HOTSHOTS Jey first! Jey sputters back to his feet, into a SHOTGUN from Finn! Tag to JD then Finn goes up! COUP DE GRACE, followed by a MOONSAULT! Cover, SAMI BREAKS IT!! The fans are thunderous, but Finn TOSSES Sami again! Finn & JD hurry to stand Jey up and put him up top! But Sami gets back in! He goes after Finn & JD!

Sami Electric Chair Lifts but Finn fights free! Finn whips, Sami reverses and TOSESS Finn out! Jey HEADBUTTS JD, Sami HELLVUA KICKS JD down!! Then he FLIJES out onto Finn, Carlito & Dom! Jey USO SPLASHES JD!! Cover, Sami & Jey win!!

Winners: Sami Zayn & Jey Uso, by pinfall

Green Bay celebrates the big win for the dawgs! WAIT! BRON BREAKKER SPEARS SAMI!! Bron runs away, having ruined all the fun! Bron grins, is he going to take the Intercontinental Championship away just as quickly? Or is he just adding fuel to the fire inside of Sami?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw here, but it kinda dragged in the middle. I appreciate them pushing the story of Sheamus, Bronson and Dunne forward, but the No Contest seemed like they were just filling time. That needs to become a Triple Threat already, maybe for the Raw After SummerSlam to help establish a new contender to the Intercontinental Championship. Bron VS Ilja was a great match, but I hope Ilja getting knocked for a loop was kayfabe so that Bron would seem even more dangerous. Of course, Bron added to that with how he had the final say at the end of tonight with that spear on Sami.

Sami and Jey teaming up tonight was a logical move after all they’d been through, and I like that Jey is the new point of dysfunction between the group. Great match in the main event, and great win for Jey & Sami over the tag champs. I feel like Sami is going to lose the Intercontinental Championship to Bron this time, and then maybe Sami & Jey can go after Judgment Day for the tag titles. And as such, Bron VS Sheamus could be the Intercontinental Championship story, though I feel like that keeps Sheamus from finally getting that title because Bron is just nuts and on a powerful push.

Back to Judgment Day, Priest and Gunther had a great promo segment because it almost immediately became an awesome brawling segment that even stretched to the other side of a commercial break. This with Gunther’s promo video later on, there’s some real heat going into that match, and their title match could probably go any which way. With how things are going with Rhea, Dom and Liv, we could also see that Judgment Day split happen at SummerSlam. Sure, Dom finally got the guts to tell Liv off, but that could’ve been because Rhea was right there and he had no choice. And even if Dom is loyal to Mami, JD & Finn could still defect and be on Liv’s side so that they all have belts together.

The Women’s Tag Division story tonight was alright. I figured Sonya was winning again, but I like that Lyra & KC Squared helped Zelina get one over on Zoey. We got a decent promo from Sonya’s group with Alba & Isla, a lot of nothing really when Alba & Isla really are more focused on Bianca & Jade right now. If Sonya’s group got a fourth member (Natalya is still signed, right?), I could see an 8 Woman Tag of Sonya’s team VS Zelina, Lyra, Kayden & Katana. And if they really drag this out, Sonya, Shayna, Zoey and any other two they want (Chelsea & Piper?) could take on five opponents for a Women’s WarGames, or even just a traditional Survivor Series 5v5.

Very good Six Man Tag but I figured The Final Testament would win. Woods VS Kross next week will be a solid 1v1, so long as they make it where it’s only those two out there. You just know Scarlett will help Kross cheat if she’s present, but it’d be more dramatic if it was just Woods and Kross with Kross constantly talking trash on Woods. Meanwhile, great interaction from Gable’s new Alpha Academy with the old one, and of course the Wyatt Sick6 showed up to stop Gable. Great Sister Abigail sidewinder from Bo, and c’mon, there has to be some kind of match for the Raw After SummerSlam or something with this.

And of course, great promo stuff from Punk, McIntyre and Rollins. Rollins being special guest ref instead of a third participant may seem disappointing, but it makes a lot of sense in story because of how McIntyre hates refs, and now he really does have a reason to hate this one because it is Rollins. Rollins might even go out to the ring in the wildest looking referee outfit ever and that alone is something fun to look forward to. With this match and the Intercontinental Championship being added to SummerSlam, that is seven matches, just as I was hoping. If nothing else, the “Big 4” of WWE’s calendar should be the literally bigger events. Give us the major stories, the top titles, and even go over three hours for these events, keep it trim for the others (like MITB or Bad Blood).

My Score: 8.7/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 34 Results & Report! (7/21/24)

The hot opening weekend continues!

Published

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Who bounces back from opening night?

G1 Climax 34 had some shocking upsets, such as David Finlay losing to Yuya Uemura! Will The Rebel bounce back? Or will he get a Gene Blast from Yota Tsuji?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Callum Newman VS SANADA; Sanada wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: Boltin Oleg VS HENARE; Henare wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Great-O-Khan VS Gabe Kidd; Gabe wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: El Phantasmo VS Ren Narita; Ren wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: EVIL VS Jake Lee; Evil wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yuya Uemura VS Hirooki Goto; Yuya wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Shota Umino VS Shingo Takagi; Shota wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Tetsuya Naito VS Zack Sabre Jr; ZSJ wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yota Tsuji VS David Finlay; Yota wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current A Block standings!

Shingo Takagi: 1-0, 2 points
Zack Sabre Jr: 1-0, 2 points
Evil: 1-0, 2 points
Callum Newman: 1-0, 2 points
Jake Lee: 1-0, 2 points
Tetsuya Naito: 0-1, 0 points
Gabe Kidd: 0-1, 0 points
Great-O-Khan: 0-1, 0 points
Sanada: 0-1, 0 points
Shota Umino: 0-1, 0 points

 

Here are the current B Block standings!

Jeff Cobb: 1-0, 2 points
Yuya Uemura: 1-0, 2 points
Henare: 1-0, 2 points
Konosuke Takeshita: 1-0, 2 points
Boltin Oleg: 1-0, 2 points
David Finlay: 0-1, 0 points
Yota Tsuji: 0-1, 0 points
El Phantasmo: 0-1, 0 points
Hirooki Goto: 0-1, 0 points
Ren Narita: 0-1, 0 points

 

NOTICE:

The round two match of Jeff Cobb VS Konosuke Takeshita will happen on July 23rd.

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Callum Newman VS SANADA!

The Prince of Pace came away with a shocker in the opening round, taking down The Roughneck, Shota Umino. However, the Cold Skull took a Face Break Shot from Jake Lee and is looking to redeem himself. Will it be a Skull End for Callum? Or will he keep on building momentum towards the Climax?

The bell rings and the fans rally. The two circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Callum uses his height but Sanada uses his bulk, and Sanada powers Callum to ropes. The ref calls the break, and Sanada lets off with pats on the shoulders. The fans cheer and the two reset. Callum and Sanada circle again, feel out a knuckle lock, and then Callum wrenches one to wrangle Sanada. Callum grinds that arm then stands Sanada up to wrench again. Sanada rolls, wrenches and wristlocks back. Callum spins, slips through, and waistlocks. Sanada headlocks, spins and hits the takeover. Callum headscissors, Sanada kips free, and Sanada blocks a kick!

Sanada trips Callum, goes after the other leg, but Callum kicks free. Callum ducks ‘n’ dodges and builds speed to BOOT Sanada down! The fans fire up while Sanada shakes out the stars. Sanada stands, Callum spins but Sanada dodges the kick. Sanada runs in, Callum sends him out, then DROPKICKS him off the apron! The fans fire up again and Callum goes to the corner. Callum goes up and ASAI MOONSAULTS, but Sanada moves! Callum is right up, he fireman’s carries Sanada, but Sanada slips free to hoist Callum up onto railing! MAGIC SCREW to the floor! The fans cheer while Callum curses in pain.

Sanada drags Callum up, fireman’s carries him, and he brings Callum around to SNAKE EYES off railing! Callum falls back and sputters while Sanada paces. The ring count starts, Sanada drags Callum up and around to put him into the ring. The fans cheer, Sanada stalks Callum, and Sanada CLUBS Callum on the neck. Callum staggers to ropes, Sanada follows him to CLUB him again. Sanada brings Callum up and into a clinch for the RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Callum writhes, Sanada covers, TWO! The fans applaud, but Sanada clamps on with a chinlock. Callum endures the squeeze, and Sanada leans on the hold.

Callum fights up as fans rally, and he throws body shots. Callum gets free but Sanada CLUBS him again! Sanada whips, Callum slides to trip and DOUBLE STOMP him! The fans cheer while both men are down. Callum rises while Sanada writhes. Sanada crawls to ropes, then to a corner. Callum runs in to UPPERCUT, then snapmare and PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer and Callum fires himself up. The fans clap along as he huffs ‘n’ puffs and brings Sanada up. Callum chicken wings but Sanada fights the lift! Callum CLUBS Sanada, tries again, but Sanad arm-drags free! Sanada blocks a kick, flips Callum, and hoists him up again! MAGIC SCREW!

Callum writhes and the fans rally up while both men are down. Sanada kips up and the fans fire up as he eggs Callum on. Callum sits up, into the SHINING WIZARD! Callum is in the drop zone and Sanada goes up, ROUNDING BODY- NO, Sanada has to land out as Callum moves! Callum runs up to BUSAIKU KNEE! The fans fire up and Callum goes back to the corner. Callum watches as Sanada slowly rises, and he runs in Around the World to DROPKICK! Sanada staggers, Callum goes up and up and- NO, Sanada avoids the stomps! But Callum avoids the Shining Wizard! Sanada avoids the screw kick to tilt-o-whirl and SKULL END!

But Callum spins through! Sanada suplexes him, but Callum STUN DOG MILLIONAIRES! OSC- NO, Sanada gets under! Callum dodges a lariat to DREAMCAST KICK! And OSCU- NO, Sanada catches Callum, spins him around, and DEADFALL!! Cover, Sanada wins!

Winner: Sanada, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Callum earns 0)

The Prince of Pace tried to speed past Sanada, but he was brought to a screeching halt! Will Callum just have to go even faster next round to make up for it? Will Sanada turn this first win into the first of many?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: Boltin Oleg VS HENARE!

The Kazakh Juggernaut also had a shocker in the opening round, bulldozing right through the Souled Out Ren Narita. But the Face of Fury is himself big, strong and undaunting. Will the NEVER Openweight Champion trump this NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Champion? Or will Oleg continue to shock the world with upset victories?

The bell rings and the fans rally as the two stare down. Henare fires himself up and the two circle. They tie up, are in a deadlock, and then break. The fans applaud as the two reset and go again. They tie up, and Oleg brings Henare to a knee! Henare powers up, breaks the collar ‘n’ elbow, and then fires a forearm! Oleg fires back, and the fans rally as they go forearm for forearm. Henare fires off a flurry but Oleg answers in kind! Henare ROCKS Oleg, runs, and RAMS Oleg! Oleg stays up, they RAM shoulders again, and again, and again! They go forehead to forehead, then they both run ropes, and Oleg CLOBBERS Henare!

The fans fire up while Henare bails out! Henare fumes but Oleg waits on him. Henare storms back in, Oleg kicks and fires forearms. Oleg whips corner to corner, runs in and STINGER SPLASHES! Oleg keeps moving and he runs Henare over! Oleg runs to SPLASH down! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up and Oleg deadlift gut wrenches! Henare fights free, HEADBUTTS and ROCKS Oleg! Oleg kicks low and has Henare in the corner. Oleg goes corner to corner again but Henare dodges the splash! Henare KICKS Oleg’s leg, KICKS it again, and KICKS it again! Oleg knees, Henare runs to RUGBY KICK! The fans fire up while Oleg is down!

Henare snarls and he storms over to Oleg. Henare drags Oleg up, ROCKS him, then ROCKS him again. Henare fires forearms in the corner but Oleg comes back with forearms of his own! Henare eggs Oleg on, Oleg fires more shots, but then Henare fires off a strike fest! Henare HEADBUTTS Oleg, then snapmares him down. Henare KICKS Oleg in the back! The fans rally while Oleg grits his teeth, so Henare KICKS him again! Henare storms around while Oleg stays seated up. Henare KICKS Oleg down, then SENTONS! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up as Oleg toughs it out, but Henare stalks him to the ropes.

Henare CLUBS Oleg, whips him to the corner, then brings down the kneepad! Henare runs in, but Oleg catches him! RUNNING POWERSLAM! The fans fire up while both men are down, and Henare goes to a corner. Oleg throws off his elbow pads while the fans rally up. Oleg ROCKS Henare, stomps him in the corner, then scoops him to SLAM him into the drop zone. Oleg goes up and up and VADER BOMBS! Cover, TWO! Henare stays in this but he gasps for air. Oleg deadlifts him into the Shake, Rattle and THROW! Oleg kips up and the fans fire up! Oleg drags Henare up, fireman’s carries, but Henare fights free with elbows!

Oleg runs back in but Henare ELBOWS again! FLYING CHUCK! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! Henare grits his teeth while he watches Oleg crawl. Henare runs in at the corner, JUMP KNEE! Snapmare and Henare roars! Henare stomps the mat as Oleg rises. RAMP- SHOTGUN from Oleg!! The fans are thunderous as both men rise. RAMP- Fireman’s carry!! KAMIKAZE SENTON!! Cover, TWO!! Henare survives but Oleg roars! Oleg fireman’s carries again, but Henare fights free! Full nelson! Oleg fights off Ultima and the fans rally up! Henare HEADBUTTS Oleg in the back, and goes for the Ultima again!

Oleg powers up and out! He ROCKS Henare, ROCKS him again, but Henare roars! Oleg CHOPS, Henare HEEL KICKS! Henare runs in to JUMPING HEADBUTT!! The fans are thunderous as Henare suplexes Oleg into STREETS OF RAGE!! Cover, Henare wins!

Winner: Henare, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Oleg earns 0)

Definitely a fight worthy of the NEVER Division, but the Face of Fury proved why he’s THE NEVER Champion! The first man to 2-0, will nothing stop Henare from conquering the G1? Or can Oleg shrug off this defeat to heat back up before the Climax?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Great-O-Khan VS Gabe Kidd!

The KOPW Champion and the NJPW Strong Openweight Champion both suffered defeats in the opening round, but only one of them got cheated. Will the Dominator show he can still unite “the fiefdoms” under the United Empire? Or will this #WarReady War Dog prove he’s still NJPW Strong?

The bell rings and the two feel things out. The fans rally and duel as the two circle around. Gabe smirks, taunts Khan with a relaxed pose, but then avoids Khan as he goes for legs. They keep going around, and then Gabe SLAPS, SLAPS and SLAPS! Khan just gets up and under Gabe to URENAGE! The fans fire up while Gabe flounders. Gabe and Khan clinch, fight for control, and Khan hits the BELLY2BELLY! The fans fire up again and Khan runs up to LARIAT Gabe up and out! Gabe flounders on the floor, the fans duel, and Khan goes out after Gabe. Khan whips Gabe hard into railing, then Khan opens the gate.

The fans cheer and Khan dares Gabe to come get him. Gabe frowns, runs up, and he RAMS Khan into railing! The Young Lions hurry over to clear out fans, and Khan laughs as he stands. Gabe and Khan fire forearms and move through the crowd. Khan drags Gabe up to fire more shots but Gabe gives those back! Gabe flounders over chairs, Khan CLUBS him, and the fight keeps moving through the crowd. Khan Mongolian Chops Gabe down! The fans cheer as Khan Mongolian Chops again! Khan AX HANDLES Gabe into moving along and Gabe calls for the ref. Khan stomps Gabe around, then drags him up. Gabe UPPERCUTS Khan!

Khan falls over, Gabe tells the ref to get in the ring to count. Gabe fires forearms, then he BITES Khan on the top of his head! Gabe then throws Khan down into the chairs while fans are torn. The ref finally starts the ring count and Gabe paces around. Gabe talks trash then goes back for Khan. Gabe drags Khan up by his ponytail as we pass 10 of 20. Gabe drags Khan along, then runs him up to POST him! Khan falls over, the count is 13, but Gabe puts Khan in at 15. The fans cheer and Gabe storms around. Gabe kicks railing just to get at Hiromu on commentary. Gabe even throws Hiromu’s bottle of water away!

Hiromu asks what the heck and Gabe says he doesn’t care if Hiromu’s a Junior Heavyweight, Gabe’s the NJPW Strong Openweight Champion, so come find him in the US. Gabe then leaves Hiromu behind to slide into the ring. Khan drags himself up with the ropes but Gabe is right on him with a CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Then a LARIAT! Gabe runs and he runs Khan over! The fans are torn while Gabe dusts himself off. But Khan is up to lift and TOSS Gabe out of the ring! Gabe tumbles to the floor, Khan pounds the mat, and the fans rally up. Khan aims and PLANCHAS onto Gabe! The fans fire up while both men are down!

Khan rises, shakes the railing and he roars! The fans fire up and Khan looms over Gabe. Khan drags Gabe around, goes back out through the gate, and Young Lions hurry to get fans out of the way! Khan aims, and he BOWLS Gabe through railing and into the chairs! That’s a STRIKE to be sure! The fans fire up as Khan flexes, then Khan fetches Gabe. Khan laces Gabe’s arm through a chair and pulls! Gabe shouts and the ref reprimands, but then Khan sandwiches arm through chairs! Khan then traps the other arm in another pair of chairs! Gabe shouts for the ref but Khan steps up onto the chairs to pose for the peasants!

Gabe protests, so Khan hops down and BOOTS him! Khan drags Gabe up while the ring count starts. Khan brings Gabe back to ringside, wrenches his arm, and pushes Gabe into the ring. The fans cheer, Khan covers, TWO! Khan grabs Gabe’s leg for a HEEL HOOK! Gabe kicks with his free leg and Khan lets go. Khan eggs Gabe on, Gabe stands but Khan RAMS into him! Gabe fights off the takedown, CLUBS away on Khan, then suplexes him up and out of the ring! Gabe goes with Khan and the fans can’t believe it! The ref checks both men after that wild tumble. Khan clutches his back and Gabe’s in a daze but both men seem to be okay to continue.

The ring count returns, and Khan flounders for the railing. Gabe slowly sits up, but both men are still crawling as we reach 10 of 20. They go forehead to forehead, then stand to go forearm for forearm! Khan ROCKS Gabe, Gabe staggers towards the ramp, but Gabe ROCKS Khan back! The count is 15! The forearms keep going, the fans rally up, and we hit 17! 18! They hear 19 and sprint back to the ring! They both slide in safe at 19.9! Then Gabe takes a swing, into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Khan runs up, Gabe gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX! Both men rise, Gabe runs the ropes, COMEBACKER- FGO PLEX!! Cover, TWO!!

Gabe survives but Khan powers up! IRON CLAW, and then Khan drags Gabe up! ELIMI- NO, Gabe BITES those fingers! And LARIATS! Cover, ONE!?! Gabe is shocked, the fans fire up, and Gabe UPPERCUTS! Gabe reels Khan in, “I’m a Mad Man, y’know!” But Khan back drops free! The fans fire up while both men are down again! Khan stirs, Gabe sits up, and they both rise up. Gabe says stand up! Khan does stand, and Gabe CHOPS! And HEADBUTTS! Gabe says F U, Oka! Khan IRON RIGHTS! Both men wobble and stagger around, and Gabe leans on ropes. Gabe snarls, so does Khan. They run, they dodge, and the COMEBACKER hits!! Cover, GABE WINS!

Winner: Gabe Kidd, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Khan earns 0)

In a battle of wild men, The NJPW Strong Openweight Champion takes down The KOPW Champion! Will Gabe look to add even more gold now that he has this golden ticket? Is there still hope for Khan to make a comeback?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: El Phantasmo w/ Jado VS Ren Narita!

The Headbanga lost to Henare, and the Souled Out Son of Strong Style lost to Boltin Oleg, so at least now they’re picking on someone their own size. Will ELP tune up the band and get back on track? Or will Narita find a way to stack the deck?

The bell rings and Ren runs up to BOOT ELP in the corner! Ren CLUBS ELP, stomps him, and Jado coaches ELP up. Ren knees low, runs, but ELP hurdles, drops down then DROPKICKS! The fans fire up while Ren writhes. ELP stands Ren up to CHOP him, ROCK him, and CHOP him again. ELP puts Ren’s shirt up over his head, to then CHOP! Ren staggers, ELP knuckle locks and goes up, up and jumps around, to FLYING RANA! Ren tumbles away and ELP kips up. The fans fire up and ELP runs to LARIAT Ren up and out! Ren flounders and fans fire up more as ELP aims. PLANCHA! Down goes Ren and the fans cheer again!

ELP drags Ren up, puts him in the ring, then ELP climbs up a corner. But Ren rolls away, and fans boo as he bails out the other side. ELP hops down, to DIVE! Direct hit again and Ren is sent into railing! The fans fire up and ELP says one more thing! ELP CLUBS Ren, goes up the corner, and he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS but Ren moves! ELP tumbles, Ren drags him up to whip him hard into railing! The fans boo but Ren hooks ELP’s leg in railing and BOOTS it! The ref reprimands but Ren grins as he goes for his push-up bar! But Jado rushes up and snatches that away! The fans cheer but Ren is mad!

The ref wants Jado to let the push-up bar go, but he misses Ren grab a chair to SMASH ELP’s leg! The fans boo as Ren hides the evidence. Ren eggs ELP on, laughs at him, then grabs ELP’s leg to SMASH it on the floor! ELP writhes and clutches the knee, but Ren stalks him around the way. ELP hobbles, falls over, and Ren drags him back up. Ren pushes ELP into the ring, then stands on ELP for a cocky cover. ONE, and ELP grabs the ropes. Ren stomps away on ELP’s leg, lets off as the ref reprimands, but then Ren stands on the leg! The ref reprimands, Ren acts like he has no idea what’s going on, then “realizes” and steps away.

Ren looms over ELP, drags him up, and grabs the leg for a SHIN BREAKER! ELP falls and flounders away, but Ren is on him again. Ren puts the bad leg on the ropes, to HIP DROP onto it! The ref reprimands and ELP clutches the knee, but Ren drags ELP around again. Ren has a standing toehold but ELP kicks with his free leg. Ren lets go, the fans rally up, and ELP tries to storm up on Ren, but the leg gives out! ELP falls over and Ren slaps him around. Ren talks trash as ELP limps to a corner. Ren eggs ELP on, but ELP fires forearms! Ren CLAWS ELP’s eyes! The ref reprimands, Ren stops, and Jado coaches ELP.

Ren drags ELP up, reels him in, but ELP suplexes first! The fans fire up as ELP brings Ren down! Ren goes to ropes, and ELP kips up! Well, not the best with only the one leg, but ELP goes to a corner. Ren storms up but ELP ROCKS him first! ELP counter punches Ren again and again, fires more shots, then whips Ren to the corner. Ren reverses but ELP goes up and over, even with one leg! ELP rolls, eggs Ren on, then dodges him to springboard and CROSSBODY! Somersault, but the bad leg holds ELP back! ELP still LIONSAULTS, but he has to land out as Ren moves! Ren bails out, ELP somersaults back to ropes to then go to the apron!

ELP TORNADO DDTS Ren to the floor! The fans fire up while Ren writhes and kicks around in pain. The fans rally behind ELP as he drags himself up with railing. The ring count starts, ELP drags Ren up and into the ring. The fans applaud, and ELP climbs up the ropes! SPRINGBOARD SWANTON BOMB! And now the LIONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ren survives but the fans fire up again! ELP goes back to a corner while Ren crawls to the other. ELP tunes up the band, even with the bad leg. Ren runs up and BOOTS ELP! Ren reels ELP in for a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Ren hurries to step through, KNEEBAR!!

ELP endures as Ren pulls on that leg! ELP reaches out, fights forward, and has the ROPEBREAK, only for Ren to drag him back! Ren shifts around to a HALF CRAB! ELP endures, the fans rally for him, and ELP fights his way over! ELP reaches out, for the ROPEBREAK! Ren lets go this time while the fans applaud. Ren drags ELP up, but ELP CHOPS! Ren shrugs that off, but ELP stands. ELP fires a forearm, but Ren laughs that off! Ren eggs ELP on, but ELP stands to fire forearm after forearm! Ren gets mad and he kicks the bad leg out! ELP falls back, Ren talks trash, and then Ren looms over ELP.

ELP rises up to CHOP! Ren still laughs, and ELP hobbles up to his feet. ELP fires another forearm! Ren felt that one, so he kicks the bad leg again. Ren still toys with ELP, taunts him, daring him to high-five like he used to do with Hikuleo. ELP scowls, gets up and he RAMS Ren into a corner! ELP fires off furious fists and even stomps a mudhole in! The fans cheer but the ref reprimands! ELP grabs Ren’s push-up bar! Jado says no, ELP, don’t do it! But Ren dares ELP to do it! Give into your anger, ELP, and be like Ren! No, ELP gives the bar to Jado! So Ren shoves ELP into Jado! Backslide, TWO!

Ren knees low, reels ELP in, but ELP handstands out of the Double Crosser! And jackknife bridges! TWO!! Ren escapes, then he dodges ELP to KNEE STOMP! Cover, TWO!! ELP survives “Hell’s Guillotine,” and the fans fire up! Ren vows to end this, though, and he goes up the corner. But ELP trips Ren up! ELP CHOPS Ren, climbs up after him, and brings Ren to the top rope! ELP hits a SUPER DUPER STEINER!! Then he goes right up for THUNDERKISS 86!! Cover, TWO!!! Ren survives and the fans are thunderous! ELP is beside himself, but the fans are behind him! ELP feels that energy and he goes to the corner.

Ren is grabbing at the ref, though! The ref reprimands, ELP gives up on tuning up so he can separate Ren and ref. Ren CHOP BLOCKS ELP! And KNEES ELP, into the DOUBLE CROSSER!! Cover, Ren wins!

Winner: Ren Narita, by pinfall (gains 2 points; ELP earns 0)

The Souled Out Son of Strong Style can be a real SOB sometimes, and that includes this moment here! Ren grins as he snatches this win away, but will he do even worse on his way to the Climax? As for ELP, he continues to lose because he feels lost, what is he to do to find himself again?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: EVIL w/ Dick Togo VS Jake Lee!

The King of Darkness took down the Mad Man, but the Madness Dark Side outshined the Cold Skull. It is another battle of House of Torture and War Dogs, which side of Bullet Club proves to be the Strongest of the Summer?

Speaking of Bullet Club, Evil & Dick want to welcome Jake to the club with a Too Sweet. Jake steps forward, throws up the Too Sweet, but then he grabs Dick’s arm, anticipating the eye poke! Then he Too Sweet eye pokes Evil and Dick in return! The fans cheer, Jake TOSSES Evil, and he goes after Dick! Jake grins as he teases stomping Dick in his namesake, then he shoves Dick out of the ring. The fans cheer more but Evil is furious! Evil runs in, but Jake kicks him first! The bell rings and Jake CLUBS Evil. Jake whips and ELBOWS Evil down, then drags him up with a choke grip! Evil scrambles to the ROPEBREAK!

The ref counts, Jake lets go of Evil at 4, and Evil sputters as he bails out. Jake apologizes to the ref, and even bows, but they both miss Evil untying the blue buckle pad! Jake steps out to fetch Evil and CLUB him again. Dick creeps up  with a chair, but Jake glares at him. Dick backs up and drops the chair, but Evil CLUBS Jake in the back! Evil then whips Jake hard into railing! Jake falls and writhes, Evil talks trash and drags him up. Evil tells the ref to leave him alone, and then he whips Jake into more railing! Jake falls back, and Evil steals the mic from Abe-san! Evil uses the cord to CHOKE Jake, and he talks smack on Jake the whole time!

The ref reprimands, the fans boo, but Evil talks trash some more before he lets go. Jake sputters, Evil leaves him behind, and the ref gives Abe-san the mic back. Evil wants the count but Jake is already standing. Jake slides in at 4 of 20, and the ref spots Evil armed his House of Torture shirt. The ref confiscates the shirt, but surprise! Evil had a tag rope all along! Evil CHOKES Jake with that now! The fans boo but Evil throws the evidence away. The ref sees it, though! The ref reprimands as the damage is done, and Evil CLUBS Jake. Evil CLUBS Jake again, then covers, TWO! Jake is tougher than that and the fans applaud.

Evil kicks Jake around, CLUBS him down, but Jake snarls. Evil slaps Jake around, but Jake shoves him. Jake’s taller, and he fires forearms down on Evil! Jake runs, but Evil distracts the ref so Dick can trip Jake up! The fans boo but Dick blames a Young Lion! The Young Lion says he wasn’t even near the ring! Evil talks trash and stomps Jake around again. Evil mocks Jake’s gentlemanly bow, then he drags Jake up. Evil wrenches Jake’s arm, kicks his leg, and wrenches again. Evil kicks, wrenches, repeat, then he whips corner to corner! Evil runs up to LARIAT, then he FISHERMAN BUSTERS! Cover, TWO!

Evil is frustrated but he steps through Jake’s legs and turns him for a SHARPSHOOTER! The fans rally as Jake endures, but Evil sits deep on the hold! Jake fights up, pushes and hops his way over, and has the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Evil lets go at 4, and the fans continue to rally for Jake. Evil paces, talks trash on the fans, but the fans boo back. Evil gets on the corner to taunt them back, then stalks Jake. Evil fireman’s carries but Jake fights it! Jake CLUBS away on Evil’s back! Evil throws a body shot, runs, but Jake fakes him out! Evil still kicks low, but Jake whips Evil to KNEE low! Evil falls over and fans cheer.

Jake looms over Evil as Evil coughs and sputters. Jake drags Evil up, snapmares him then runs to fake the Penalty Kick, and clamp on a SLEEPER! Evil endures but Jake drags him up to his feet! Dick gets on the apron, so Jake lets Evil go to DECK Dick! Jake drags Evil around to turn him, but Evil resists! So Jake STOMPS Evil’s stomach! Then Jake turns Evil for the BOSTON CRAB! Jake stands tall with it, it’s almost a Walls of Jericho! Evil endures, the bell rings!? That was Dick’s doing! Jake thinks he won, though, and he lets Evil go! The ref explains, because it was Dick! Evil winds up to run in, but Jake dodges! Evil runs into the ref!

Evil now begs for mercy, but Dick gets in! Dick kicks Jake in the leg, then wraps on the SPOILER CHOKER! But Jake powers out! Jake dodges Evil, and uses the SPOILER CHOKER! The fans cheer as Evil tastes his own medicine! Then Jake lets Evil go, gives him the choker, and falls on the floor! Jake’s pulling an Eddie Guerrero and the fans cheer! The ref spots Evil with the weapon, and Evil defends his innocence! And for once, it’s true! Sorta. Jake plays like he’s hurt, then he reels Evil in! BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO!! Evil survives but Jake stays cool. Jake raises his hand and the fans rally. Evil rises, and Jake choke grips! Evil CLAWS Jake’s eyes!

The ref reprimands, Evil lets off and he reels Jake in, EVERY- NO, Jake slips free and KNEES Evil low! Choke grip, CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Evil survives again and Jake’s eyes are still stinging. The fans rally up, Evil crawls away while the ref checks Jake’s face. Jake goes to the other corner, he staggers up, and he takes aim! Jake runs in, but Evil moves! The buckle pad goes with him, and Jake runs into the bare steel! Evil throws the pad to the ref, Dick throws POCKET SAND in Jake’s face!! Jake staggers away, EVERYTHING IS EVIL!! Cover, Evil wins!

Winner: Evil, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Jake earns 0)

Another match, another underhanded way of winning for The King of Darkness! Will nothing stop him until everything is truly Evil?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yuya Uemura VS Hirooki Goto!

The Heat Storm burned The Rebel while the Fierce Warrior took a Tour of the Islands, but this G1 has only just begun. Will Yuya add this highly decorated icon to the list? Or will Goto do as Yoshi-Hashi says and #TurnItAllAround?

The bell rings and the fans rally as the two stare down. Goto and Yuya slowly circle, feel things out, and knuckle lock. Yuya shoots for a leg but Goto slips around to waistlock. Yuya switches, Goto slips away and the fans cheer. The two reset, circle again, and tie up collar ‘n’ elbow. They’re in a deadlock, but Goto slips around to waistlock. Yuya pries the hold open and wrenches to a wristlock. Goto rolls, trips Yuya, and has the toehold. Yuya fights back with a chinlock but Goto pulls on the foot. Yuya uses his other leg to bring Goto into short arm scissors! Goto endures, even as Yuya pushes up, and Goto moves around.

Goto slips free, headlocks, but Yuya headscissors. Goto kips free, the two stand off and the fans cheer again. They reset, circle, and tie up again. Goto headlocks, grinds Yuya down, but Yuya fights up. Yuya pries at the headlock, but Goto powers it back on! The fans rally, Goto grinds, but Yuya powers up and out. Goto runs Yuya over! The fans cheer, Goto keeps moving, but Yuya drops down to DROPKICK! Yuya fires up and the fans are with him! Yuya paces around Goto, the fans rally up, and Yuya stands Goto up. Yuya CHOPS Goto to the corner! And CHOPS again! And CHOPS again! And CHOPS again!

Yuya fires CHOP after CHOP, but the ref has him back off! Goto eggs Yuya on so Yuya runs up to BOOT him! Yuya CHOPS, CHOPS and CHOPS! The fans fire up but the ref reprimands. Yuya clinches but Goto stops the hip toss to throw Yuya down by his hair! Goto KICKS Yuya, snapmares him, then KICKS him again! Goto stomps Yuya around, the fans rally, and Goto drags Yuya back up. Goto bumps Yuya off buckles, stomps a mudhole in, then KICKS Yuya down! The ref reprimands but Goto digs his boot in! The ref counts, Goto lets off at 4, and then he rains down forearms! The ref reprimands again but Goto throws more shots!

The ref has Goto stop with the forearms, but Goto digs his knee in. Yuya throws hands from below, but Goto stomps Yuya. Goto then drags Yuya out of the corner, whips him corner to corner, and runs in to MURAMASA! And then SAIDO! Cover, TWO! Yuya stays in this but Goto stays on him with a BOSTON CRAB! The fans rally while Yuya endures! Goto sits deep on the hold, almost making Yuya’s feet reach his head! Yuya still powers up and pushes his way forward! The fans rally harder, but Goto pulls on the legs harder! Yuya still endures, still pushes up, and still claws his way to the ROPEBREAK!

The fans cheer, the ref counts, and Goto lets go at 4. Goto stomps Yuya around, drags him up, and CLUBS him. Goto fireman’s carries, but Yuya fights free! Goto elbows Yuya, whips him to a corner, but Yuya goes up and over to arm-drag! Yuya then DROPKICKS! The fans fire up while both men are down. Yuya rises up first, storms over to Goto, and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Yuya whips corner to corner, runs in and CHOPS again! The fans fire up as Yuya then reels Goto in for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Goto stays in this but Yuya stays focused. The fans rally, and Yuya climbs, only for Goto to ROCK him first!

Goto climbs up after Yuya, CLUBS away on Yuya, and fires off forearms! Goto brings Yuya up but Yuya fires body shot after body shot! Yuya and Goto fire forearms back and forth, then Yuya HEADBUTTS! Goto falls back, Yuya adjusts, and Yuya leaps, but Goto gets under! Yuya comes back, kicks low, but runs into a fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! But Goto can’t make the cover! The fans fire up while both men are down again! Goto grits his teeth as he rises up, and he brings Yuya around to fire a forearm! Yuya sits up, but Goto fires another forearm! Yuya fires a forearm in return! So Goto fires another!

The two stand, Yuya fires another forearm, so Goto CHOPS! Yuya CHOPS, Goto CHOPS, repeat! The fans rally as the CHOPS go back and forth, faster and faster! Yuya gets the edge as he CHOPS high, and CHOPS again! Goto sputters, Yuya DOUBLE CHOPS him! Goto drops to his knees at the 10 minute mark, but Yuya stands him up. DOUBLE CHOP, DOUBLE CHOP, and DOUBLE CHOP! Yuya runs, but into the clinch! URA G T R! Goto runs to LARIAT!! The fans are thunderous, and now Goto drags Yuya up! Fireman’s carry, G T W!! Cover, TWO! Yuya survives but Goto won’t let up! Goto drags Yuya up and KICKS him!

Yuya flops over, but Goto drags him up again. Goto KICKS and KICKS and KICKS! Yuya flops back down and the fans rally up harder! Goto drags Yuya up, fires forearms and then powers up, but Yuya BLOCKS the buzzsaw! Yuya rises, Goto fires palm strike after palm strike! Yuya HEADBUTTS Goto down!! The fans are thunderous, Yuya hauls Goto up and traps one arm. Yuya traps the other, but Goto HEADBUTTS! Yuya ENZIGIRIS, but Goto fireman’s carries! Goto throws Yuya into the dragon sleeper, for the G T- NO! Yuya blocks the arm and spins Goto around to a backslide! TWO!! Goto escapes, but Yuya has the arms! DEADBOLT!! Bridging cover, YUYA WINS!!

Winner: Yuya Uemura, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Goto earns 0)

Two rounds, two shockers for the Heat Storm! Is this a sign that Yuya could be the diamond in the rough for NJPW? As for Goto, he’s 0-2, will things be much more dire in the next round?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Shota Umino VS Shingo Takagi!

The Roughneck seeks redemption after falling to Callum Newman, but the Rampaging Dragon wants to keep his roll going after defeating IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Tetsuya Naito in last night’s main event. Will #SHOOTER fall again? Or will he keep Takagi from soaring higher than ever before?

The bell rings and Shota runs up to SHOTGUN Takagi! Shota fires forearms in the corner, the ref counts, but Shota just keeps firing shots! Takagi gets mad and turns things around on Shota! The fans fire up as Takagi HEADBUTTS Shota again and again and again! The ref wants Takagi to stop but Takagi shoves him aside to stomp Shota! Takagi knees Shota, whips him to ropes, and KNEES him again! Takagi keeps moving but Shota DROPKICKS him down! The fans fire up and Shota watches Takagi go to ropes. Shota slingshots but Takagi moves! Takagi HOTSHOTS Shota, ridge hand chops, then goes to the apron.

The fans fire up as Takagi CLUBS Shota on the back. Takagi reels Shota in but Shota grabs ropes to fight the lift! Shota then CLUBS Takagi! Takagi body shots Shota, kicks him and CLUBS him, then reels him back in. APRON BACK SUPLEX! Shota has a rough landing but Takagi shoves him off the apron. The fans fire up with Takagi but the ref checks Shota. Shota is somehow still in this so Takagi drags him up. Takagi whips Shota hard into railing! Shota hobbles away and Takagi goes into the ring. The ring count starts, the fans rally, and Shota grits his teeth. Shota rises up at 10 of 20 to roll in, but Takagi is right on him!

Takagi stands on Shota’s back at the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts. Takagi then stomps away, but the ref reprimands. Shota sits up, and Takagi clamps on a chinlock. Takagi then shifts to pull Shota’s arms into a motorcycle stretch. Shota still endures and the fans rally up. Shota reaches out and has the ROPEBREAK. Takagi KNEES Shota in the back as he lets off. A fan cheers Takagi and Takagi says, “Iine! <Nice!>” The fans applaud and Takagi stalks Shota to a corner. Takagi CHOPS, JABS, and repeat, then he brings Shota out to suplex high and hard! The fans cheer more and Takagi gives a thumbs up.

Takagi pushes Shota down to SENTON! Takagi talks a little smack, then has the fans rally up. Shota copies Takagi  by saying, “Mada mada! <I’m not done yet!>” Takagi clamps onto Shota with a chinlock and stretches him back. Takagi HIP DROPS, then talks some smack on Shota. Shota crawls, Takagi KNEES him. Shota eggs Takagi on but Takagi gives it back. Shota stands up and gives back that trash talk! Shota fires a forearm, but Takagi shakes his head. Shota fires another, but Takagi shakes his head again. Shota ROCKS Takagi, but Takagi blocks the scoop! Takagi CLUBS Shota, but Shota spins Takagi for a NECKBREAKER!

The fans rally as Shota sits up. Shota grits his teeth, storms over to Takagi, and UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS again! Shota UPPERCUTS Takagi in the corner, whips him corner to corner, then runs in to UPPERCUT again! Then FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Shota isn’t quite perfect but he isn’t deterred. The fans rally as Shota paces around. Shota brings Takagi up, but Takagi fights the clinch! Takagi throws elbows, but Shota swings, only for Takagi to get around! Atomic drop! Shota staggers, Takagi winds up, and Takagi runs in, only for Shota to drop toehold him onto ropes!

Shota then fires up and runs up to slingshot and APRON DDT! The fans fire up with Shota as he shouts! Takagi flops to the floor, the ring count starts, but Shota takes a moment to catch his breath. Shota stalks Takagi as we reach 7 of 20. Shota stands Takagi up at 10, puts him in at 11, and the fans cheer. Shota goes up a corner, and goes COAST2COAST! Then EXPLODER! Cover, TWO! Takagi is still in this and the fans rally up again. Shota goes to a corner and eggs Takagi on. Takagi rises, Shota runs in and dodges a lariat! Shota kicks low, TORNADO- NO, Takagi stops the DDT to suplex Shota into buckles!

The fans cheer while Shota is stuck upside-down in the corner. Takagi stands while Shota flops around. Takagi stomps Shota, drags him up, and then reels Shota in. Shota CLUBS away on Takagi, but Takagi ROCKS Shota in the back! Shota gets mad, but he runs into an ELBOW! JAB! YUKON feint and DDT! The fans fire up and Takagi signals  that he’s too smart for Shota. Takagi then tells Osaka, “TOKI GA KITA! <It’s time!>” The fans join in with “OI! OI! OI!” just like last night. Shota stands, Takagi runs up, but Shota boots! Takagi blocks and LARIATS through! The fans fire up with Takagi more as he reels Shota in.

But Shota fights the suplex to suplex Takagi! Shota puts Takagi up top, UPPERCUTS, and then climbs up after Takagi. Shota clinches, for a SUPER EXPLODER!! Takagi writhes and Shota fires back up! The fans rally and he aims, only for Takagi to CORNER LARIAT! Takagi evens things in an instant and the fans fire back up! Takagi points to the sky and he brings Shota to the top rope. Takagi then climbs right up after Shota, goes to the very top, and SUPER DUPER PLEXES!! Shota writhes now and the fans are thunderous! Takagi crawls his way over to Shota to sit him up. Takagi runs, SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! SENTON!

Takagi grins and flexes, reminding us that he’s the “liveliest old man” in NJPW today. Takagi wants the ref to call it as Shota writhes, but Shota refuses to let this end here. Shota grits his teeth, sits up, and seems to have a wry smile of his own! Takagi clamps onto Shota for HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! A shot at Shota’s mentor, Moxley, and then Takagi torture racks Shota! Takagi bends Shota and thrashes him, then flips him for a GUTBUSTER! Takagi whips, Shota reverses, and TORNADO DDTS! The fans fire up while both men are down! Shota fires up with “OI! OI! OI!” to copy Takagi, and fans still join in!

Shota drags Takagi up, dragon sleepers, and TRIDENT! Cover, TWO! Shota hurries to aim from a corner, and Takagi slowly rises. IGNITION! Shota fires up again and he brings Takagi in for- NO, Takagi RAMS Shota first! But Shota ENZIGIRIS back! Shota runs back up, into a PUMPING BOMBER! Takagi takes Shota down first, and the fans rally up even harder! Takagi feeds off the energy to rise again. Takagi drags Shota up, shouts for “JAPAN~!” but Shota fights the pump handle. Shota swings, into a Gory Especial, NOSHIGAMI! Takagi fires up, runs, and PUMPING BOMBERS!! The fans are thunderous and Takagi isn’t done!

Takagi hauls Shota up to pump handle, MADE IN JAPAN!! Cover, TWO?!? Shota survives and the fans are thunderous again! Takagi hears the 15 minute call and he rallies the fans. The fans get louder and louder as Takagi rises, and he kicks Shota. Takagi stands Shota up to pump handle, but Shota CLUBS Takagi first. Shota CLUBS Takagi more, so Takagi LARIATS! Shota roars and comes back into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON LARIAT! And then pump handle, torture rack, but Shota slips free to backslide! Takagi rolls through but Shota ripcords and ELEVATED DEATH RIDER!! Both men are down and the fans rally hard as ever!

The ref checks both men, Takagi growls and pushes himself up. Shota also rises, and the two storm up to each other. Shota fires a forearm, but Takagi shakes his head. Shota fires another, Takagi wobbles, but Takagi still eggs Shota on. Shota fires another forearm, so Takagi fires boxing elbows! Takagi winds up but Shota ROCKS him first! Shota runs, but Takagi follows to LARIAT! Takagi runs, but into an EXPLODER! PUMPING BOMBER?! SNAP DRAGON!?! The fans are thunderous and Shota takes aim! Takagi rises, into the BLAZE BLADE!! Cover, TWO!! Takagi survives but Shota’s hitting another gear!

Shota drags Takagi up, underhooks, but Takagi fights the rider! Takagi wrenches, JABS, and HEADBUTTS! Shota ROCKS, ROLLING- NO, Takagi swats, CHOPS and HEADBUTTS! Both men wobble, but then Shota catches Takagi to spin and SNAP DEATH RIDER!! Cover, SHOTA WINS!!

Winner: Shota Umino, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Takagi earns 0)

The Roughneck slays the Rampaging Dragon! Is this proof that Shota is going to lead the Paradigm Shift that is the new generation taking over? As for Takagi, he breaks even at 1-1, but can he rise back up in the next round?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Tetsuya Naito VS Zack Sabre Jr. w/ Kosei Fujita!

Speaking of the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, he and the Submission Master have gone back and forth through the various tournaments of NJPW. Will Naito be able to keep the G1 tranquilo? Or will TMDK’s Front Man make him #JustTapOut?

As always, Naito takes time with his entrance attire. ZSJ is patient, he’s seen this all before. Naito finally puts the nice suit aside, the bell rings and the fans rally up. Naito and ZSJ both take their time while the fans cheer on “NA-I-TO!” ZSJ mirrors Naito’s slow pace as they circle, and then ZSJ raises the LIJ fist! Naito starts to raise his, but then SPITS at ZSJ! ZSJ kicks Naito, CLUBS him, whips him, but Naito reverses to TORNADO CRADLE! TWO!! ZSJ escapes, Naito runs but fakes ZSJ out to tranquilo! The fans cheer but ZSJ rushes in, only for Naito to catch him into a somersault clutch! TWO!!

ZSJ runs up again, but into an atomic drop! And then rolling jackknife! TWO! ZSJ has the sunset flip, TWO! Naito has a deep prawn hold, TWO!! ZSJ narrowly escapes again and the fans fire up! Naito kicks, but ZSJ fights the neckbreaker. Naito ELBOWS ZSJ down, then runs to basement dropkick! The fans fire up and Naito clamps onto ZSJ with a chinlock. ZSJ endures, even as Naito digs his knee in. ZSJ reaches out, hesitates, but then goes for the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts, Naito lets off, but then ELBOWS ZSJ in the head! Naito brings ZSJ up, cravats, and then he grinds ZSJ down to the mat.

ZSJ endures, even as Naito keeps on the cravat. The fans rally, ZSJ headscissors, but Naito shrugs that off to keep the cravat. ZSJ fights around, stands back up, but Naito snapmares. ZSJ bridges up to snapmare and NECK TWIST! The fans cheer, and ZSJ stalks Naito to the apron. ZSJ goes out to NECK TWIST Naito again! Red Shoes reprimands but the fans rally up. ZSJ steps in, drags Naito back up, and UPPERCUTS! Naito falls back, ZSJ drags him up, and ZSJ UPPERCUTS again! ZSJ brings Naito around to UPPERCUT again, and Naito falls back down. The fans continue to rally, and ZSJ drags Naito up for knuckle locks.

ZSJ twists the wrists, wrenches and then wraps Naito up in a straitjacket stretch. ZSJ brings Naito to his knees, and brings him back into a STRAITJACKET SURFBOARD! Naito endures, kicks and flails, and manages to find the ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer and ZSJ lets off cleanly. ZSJ drags Naito up to cravat and return the neck wrench. Naito endures, even as ZSJ RAMS his shoulder in. ZSJ cranks the hold but Naito fires body shots. Naito is free but ZSJ UPPERCUTS him! ZSJ runs corner to corner but Naito dodges! Naito blocks boots, puts ZSJ in ropes, and hits a DRAPING NECKBREAKER! The fans rally while both men are down.

Naito shakes out the stars, ZSJ stands up, and Naito fires off forearms and kicks! Naito whips, arm-drags, and then arm-drags again! Naito runs to basement dropkick! The fans cheer, and Naito stands ZSJ up, takes his time, and then hits the NECKBREAKER! The fans cheer, Naito brings ZSJ around to cover, TWO! ZSJ bails out but Naito isn’t bothered. Naito storms over to the apron, drags ZSJ up, and turns him, only for ZSJ to throw elbows. Naito swings, but into ZSJ’s ROPE OCTOPUS! Red Shoes reprimands and counts, ZSJ lets go at 4, then ZSJ drags Naito out of the ring. ZSJ UPPERCUTS Naito, then UPPERCUTS again.

ZSJ taunts Naito, then whips him, only for Naito to reverse and send ZSJ hard into railing! ZSJ falls over, but Naito drags him right up to then put him on the apron. For a DRAPING NECKBREAKER to the floor! The fans fire up but Red Shoes and even Fujita check ZSJ. ZSJ is somehow still in this, so a ring count starts. Both men stir, and ZSJ slowly sits up. Naito has Fujita back up, the count passes 15 of 20, but Naito puts ZSJ in at 16. The fans cheer, and Naito rolls in. Naito drags ZSJ up to throw those heavy elbows! ZSJ falls over and Naito paces. Naito kicks ZSJ to a corner, goes up, and reels ZSJ in for ESPERANZA!

The fans cheer and Naito smiles while he goes back to the corner. ZSJ rises, Naito runs in, but ZSJ slips around to SLEEPER! And O’Conner into a SLEEPER with body scissors! Naito flails, but ZSJ even traps the arms before going to a DRAGON SLEEPER! Naito endures, kicks around, but ZSJ shifts into a TRIANGLE HOLD! ZSJ squeezes tight but Naito reaches out to a ROPEBREAK! ZSJ lets go and the fans applaud. ZSJ rises, Naito sits up, and ZSJ KICKS him! ZSJ grins as Naito sits up again, and he KICKS again! Naito manages to smile? ZSJ eggs Naito on, KICKS him, but Naito blocks! ZSJ UPPERCUTS back!

ZSJ whips, Naito reverses, but ZSJ denies the tornado DDT to PENALTY KICK! The fans fire up with ZSJ, and he scoops to ZACK- DESTINO!! It was outta nowhere, but also out of desperation! Both men are down and the fans fire up! The fans rally, Naito sits up first, and he brings ZSJ around. Naito wrenches, but ZSJ scoops! ZACK DRIVER!! But ZSJ can’t make the cover! The fans fire up as ZSJ and Naito are down again. ZSJ crawls over, brings Naito up, and he UPPERCUTS! Naito wobbles, ZSJ UPPERCUTS again! And UPPERCUTS again! Naito ROCKS ZSJ with a forearm! And again! ZSJ eggs Naito on!

Naito ROCKS ZSJ and ZSJ sits down! The fans rally, ZSJ stands and UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! Naito throws the heavy elbows! ZSJ roars but Naito ELBOWS him down! The fans fire up as we pass 15 minutes. Naito aims, runs in, CORRIENDO- NO, ZSJ scoops! But Naito somersaults! ZSJ rocks it back, EURO CLUTCH! TWO!!! Naito escapes by nanoseconds! ZSJ runs in but into an ELBOW! ZSJ BOOTS, Naito fires a forearm and SPITS! ZSJ swings, into a spin, but he ducks the enzigiri! Body scissors, JAPANESE LEG CLUTCH!! ZSJ WINS!!

Winner: Zack Sabre Jr, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Naito earns 0)

The IWGP World Heavyweight Champion loses again! And ZSJ snatches the belt, claiming it as his own! Will The Front Man finally have this title one way or another? Or will Naito stop owing golden tickets after tonight?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yota Tsuji VS David Finlay w/ Gedo!

How fitting that this is round two’s main event. While all the Reiwa Musketeers fell last round, it was the fact that Finlay was talking trash on him the whole time that really upset Yota. Will Yota get back at Finlay with a Gene Blaster? Or will this be a rebound round for the Rebel?

Finlay gets in Yota’s face but Yota just grins. The two then back off to put their duster jackets aside. The bell rings and the fans rally up. Finlay hears the fans cheering on “YOTA! YOTA!” and shrugs it off. The two circle, tie up, and they each pull hair! Red Shoes reprimands them both as they go around, and Finlay puts Yota on ropes. Red Shoes counts, Finlay pie faces Yota, then lets off. But Yota avoids the cheap shot to headlock. Finlay powers out but Yota comes back to RANA! Finlay bails out, fans fire up, and Yota DIVES! Direct hit and Finlay bounces off railing! The fans fire up and rally behind “YOTA! YOTA!” more.

Yota fetches Finlay, drags him up, and whips him hard into railing! Finlay staggers away, Gedo protests, but Yota pursues Finlay. Yota whips Finlay hard into more railing! Gedo is even more upset but there’s nothing Red Shoes can do about this. Yota tells Gedo to shut up, then he drags Finlay back into the ring. Yota steps in, runs, and runs Finlay over! High stack, TWO! Finlay grits his teeth, Yota stands him up, and Yota blocks a kick! Yota trips Finlay, has both legs, and turns Finlay over into a BOSTON CRAB! Finlay endures the hold, fights around, and reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! Yota lets off quickly and fans applaud.

Yota paces while Finlay sits up. Yota comes back but Finlay kicks from below. Yota stomps away on Finlay, CLUBS away on him, then eggs Finlay on. Finlay stands to fire a forearm, then an UPPERCUT! Finlay then stands Yota up and CHOPS! Yota CHOPS back! The fans rally, Yota stalks Finlay to a corner, but Finlay SPITS at him! The fans boo but Finlay grins. Yota also grins, and he runs up to STINGER SPLASH! Yota fires off hands but backs off as Red Shoes reprimands. Yota comes back but Finlay FLAPJACKS him off buckles! Finlay then rains down fists on Yota! Red Shoes reprimands about closed fists but Finlay doesn’t care.

Finlay paces around, drags Yota up, and scoops for a BACKBREAKER! Yota writhes, Finlay covers, TWO! The fans rally and Finlay mocks the “fighting spirit.” He claims he’s gonna beat the spirit outta Yota. Finlay whips Yota hard into buckles! Yota falls, Finlay taunts him, and pushes him around. Finlay SLAPS Yota, drags him up, and UPPERCUTS! Yota goes to a corner, and Finlay barks it up. Some fans bark for Finlay and he runs in to UPPERCUT! Then BROKEN ARROW! Finlay flexes and fans do cheer that feat of strength. Finlay kneels on Yota for a cocky cover, TWO! Finlay mockingly says, “Wow,” then he CHOKES Yota!

Finlay grinds his forearm in Yota’s face, Red Shoes reprimands, and Finlay lets off. Finlay drags Yota up, mocks the fans cheering Yota on, and then clinches. But Yota fights the lift with elbows! Finlay KNEES low, fires another knee, then whips. Yota reverses, scoops and BACKBREAKERS! Finlay flounders and Gedo is mad but the fans fire up! Yota sits up, Finlay goes to a corner, and the fans rally again. Yota runs up to ELBOW Finlay down! Yota then scoops to SLAM and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Finlay stays in this but Yota stays on him with a GUTBUSTER! Finlay sputters and stumbles away to a corner and the fans fire up.

Yota grins but Gedo is stressing out. Yota storms over to Finlay, digs his knee in, and then KNEES Finlay again! And again! Gedo protests, Red Shoes reprimands, but Yota lets off. Yota then brings Finlay up to whip corner to corner. Finlay stops himself to ROCK Yota! Yota ROCKS Finlay in return! The forearms keep going back and forth, faster and faster! Finlay gets the edge, then catches Yota in to the clinch! IRISH- NO, Yota slips free and shoves Finlay to a corner. Yota runs in, Finlay dodges and comes back. Finlay blocks Yota’s boot, but Yota brings him in to DOUBLE STOMP! The fans fire up again while Finlay flounders.

Yota drags Finlay up, then goes up and up and MAROON- NO, Finlay pushes Yota down! Yota lands on the apron, they trade forearms again, but Finlay POSTS Yota! Finlay then runs to SHOTGUN Yota off the apron! Yota hits railing on the way down and Gedo fires up! Finlay grits his teeth as he goes out to fetch Yota. We reach 10 minutes and Finlay drags Yota up. Finlay whips Yota hard into railing! Yota slumps down, and Finlay storms back up. Finlay asks Gedo, “You wanna see a dead body?” Gedo says yeah, and Finlay fireman’s carries Yota. Finlay runs to LAWN DART Yota into a post! Gedo cheers but the fans boo.

Red Shoes checks Yota and he’s somehow still in this. Finlay mockingly offers Hiromu a Too Sweet, Hiromu says no thanks, so Finlay SPITS at him! Hiromu is annoyed, but Finlay flips Hiromu and Osaka off. Finlay then steps inside and the ring count starts. Yota is still down at 5 of 20, clutching his forehead. Yota grabs at railing, drags himself up at 10, and Finlay shows off by doing jumping jacks. Yota stands at 14 but hobbles around. Yota stumbles, falls over at 17, and drags himself back up! He slides in safe at 19, but Finlay’s on him! DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives the “Canadian Hammer” but Finlay keeps cool.

Finlay says he’ll hit TEN powerbombs if he has to! Gedo says yeah, let’s do that! Finlay picks Yota up but he’s dead weight, so Finlay wants Red Shoes to call it. Red Shoes refuses, he checks with Yota first. Yota growls as he pushes up, so Finlay goes to suplex! Yota fights it, the fans rally up behind him, and Yota suplexes Finlay! Finlay fights that, suplexes Yota, but Yota turns it around into his own BIG suplex! The fans are thunderous while both men are down again! Osaka cheers on “YOTA! YOTA!” while Finlay flounders to ropes. Finlay is frustrated, but he and Yota both stand. Finlay swings, into the BACKBREAKER, FLATLINER and STOMP!

The fans cheer Yota’s triple combo, then he runs to CURB STOMP!! Cover, TWO!! Finlay survives and Gedo coaches him, but the fans still rally for Yota. Yota rises again, he drags Finlay up, and ROCKS him with a forearm! Finlay staggers away, Gedo panics, and Yota goes up, up and MAROON- NO, Finlay dodges! Finlay runs in, Yota KNEES the spear down! Then suplex, ORANGE CRUSH!! Cover, TWO!! Finlay survives and Gedo is relieved, but Yota roars! We hit 15 minutes, Gedo wants Finlay to get up already, but Yota aims from a corner! Finlay rises, Yota runs in, GENE- HEADLOCK TAKEOVER!

Finlay then drags Yota up, INTO OBLIVION!! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous again! The fans cheer “YOTA! YOTA!” as hard as they can while he and Finlay are both down. Gedo coaches Finlay to get up and kill Yota, but Finlay has to drag himself over. Finlay grabs Yota by his hair, stands him up and reels him in, but Yota blocks the bomb! Finlay CLUBS away on Yota, hauls him up, but Yota fights free! Yota then spins Finlay, but Finlay powers out of the cravat! Yota rebounds, but Finlay rolls him for a POWERBOMB! That’s one, and Finlay hurries to haul Yota up again! BUCKLE BOMB!!

Finlay says that’s not enough, here’s the THIRD POWERBOMB!! Finlay falls over, he still has seven more if he wants to keep his promise! The fans rally for Yota but Finlay stands back up. Finlay slashes his throat, drags Yota back up, and suplexes, but Yota cradle counters! TWO!! Finlay escapes, and DISCUS LARIATS Yota down! Finlay drags Yota up again, reels him in and gives a Too Sweet, for the OVER- NO! Yota blocks the knee! Finlay CLUBS away but Yota still fireman’s carries! Finlay elbows free, ROLLING ELBOWS, and Yota staggers. Yota comes back, into another ROLLING ELBOW! Yota leans on ropes and Finlay eggs him on!

Yota stands, into a third ROLLING ELBOW! Yota falls but Finlay brings him right back up. ROLLING ELBOW! Yota drops to his knees, and Finlay looms over him. Finlay stands Yota up again, ROLLING- HEADBUTT!! Finlay rebounds, Yota dodges, GENE BLASTER!! But Yota can’t make the cover! Yota doesn’t worry about that, he hurries to the corner! The fans are thunderous as Yota goes up and up and MAROON CRUSH!! Cover, YOTA WINS!!

Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Finlay earns 0)

For the second night in a row, the G1’s main event is an epic, and an upset! Finlay has lost twice in a row, does NJPW not need The Rebel after all?

As for Yota, he gets the mic to tell Finlay, “Today was for just one of the three Marlowe Puddings you wasted at the press conference! So don’t forget, I still owe you two more.” The fans cheer that motivation. Yota then says “To the NJPW fans here in Osaka and all over the world, the hottest summer has just begun!” The fans cheer that, too. Yota says he is of course focused on total victory here, the first man to have won the Spring’s New Japan Cup AND the Summer’s G1 Climax in the same year! The fans like that idea.

“In this G1, everyone’s talking about the old and new guards, but I’m the one standing in the main event spot! This isn’t for Shingo Takagi nor Tetsuya Naito. It’s my time. Are you ready?! I’m taking this G1.” The fans cheer, and Yota drops the mic. The Gene Blast is confident no one else is reaching the Climax, but will he be ready for the long road ahead?

 

Here are the current A Block standings!

Zack Sabre Jr: 2-0, 4 points
Evil: 2-0, 4 points
Shingo Takagi: 1-1, 2 points
Jake Lee: 1-1, 2 points
Gabe Kidd: 1-1, 2 points
Sanada: 1-1, 2 points
Callum Newman: 1-1, 2 points
Shota Umino: 1-1, 2 points
Tetsuya Naito: 0-2, 0 points
Great-O-Khan: 0-2, 0 points

 

Here are the current B Block standings!

Yuya Uemura: 2-0, 4 points
Henare: 2-0, 4 points
Jeff Cobb: 1-0, 2 points
Konosuke Takeshita: 1-0, 2 points
Boltin Oleg: 1-1, 2 points
Yota Tsuji: 1-1, 2 points
Ren Narita: 1-1, 2 points
David Finlay: 0-2, 0 points
Hirooki Goto: 0-2, 0 points
El Phantasmo: 0-2, 0 points


My Thoughts:

Another awesome night for NJPW for a big G1 opening weekend. One less match, though, because for whatever reason, Konosuke Takeshita and Jeff Cobb weren’t booked for this. And less surprises because Oleg and Callum each took a loss here. Khan VS Gabe was great stuff, with another great win for Gabe. Gabe calling out Hiromu for a NJPW Strong Openweight Championship match was an interesting detail, too. And I should’ve figured Evil would win with more cheating. I really hope this leads to a proper Bullet Club Civil War angle, War Dogs VS House of Torture, but NOT in something where they tear up the ring and risk someone getting hurt.

Yuya gets another great win with that great match against Goto. Yuya could really come out of this G1 as a strong singles competitor, possibly taking that Global Championship from Finlay. But it would seem the Reiwa Musketeers are all making comebacks, too, as Narita cheats ELP, Shota takes down Takagi in a technically big upset of his own, and of course we got those big wins in the penultimate and main event matches. ZSJ has beaten Naito before, but tonight’s win was even bigger for how Naito is world champion. And Yota tops things off in an awesome match with Finlay, and a great win for Yota. A lot of golden tickets are being handed out, the NJPW Destruction tour could be really big this year.

My Score: 9/10


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