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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu Results & Report! (2/28/24)

Nautelle Wetlands, Night one!

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The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 54

To make the Fifth Annual Triforce Tournament the biggest one yet, HPW is giving the semifinals TWO NIGHTS of action! Plus, a special bonus!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Tournament: Nabooru VS Cia; Nabooru wins and advances.
  • Bracket of Power Semifinal: Tali VS Bad Croc Scaly; Tali wins and advances.
  • Bracket of Wisdom Semifinal: Aveil VS Donny B. Kool; Aveil wins and advances.
  • Bracket of Courage Semifinal: Riju VS Grim Creeper; Riju wins and advances.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

As if year five wasn’t already big, HPW is going the extra mile for the semifinals! For the first time, we spend TWO NIGHTS on this round! And for night one, it is all Gerudo Sisterhood up in this piece! Er, at least, that’s how Shabonne put it on her social media. From start to finish, a different member of the team is in action, and even a special bonus! An HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s (mini) Tournament begins, and the Gerudo icon, Nabooru starts us off! Will “Naboo-nee-san” lead by example? Or will the Dark Forces’ Sorceress head back to former glory? HPW Triforce Tournament in the Nautelle Wetlands starts now!

 

HPW Goddess Championship #1 Contender’s Tournament: Nabooru VS Cia!

A pioneer in Gerudo wrestling, having made her name in Mesa League Wrestling, Hebra Wrestling Heights and even the Hyrule Wrestling Federation, Nabooru has yet to hold HPW gold. Will she defeat a former Goddess Chamth, pion to take a step closer to that goal?

The bell rings and the two circle. Fans rally and duel, “Let’s Go, Cia!” “NA-BOO-RU!” The two tie up, go around, and Nabooru powers Cia back to ropes. Referee Maron Ron Ron counts, Nabooru lets off slowly, and then feints a punch to pat Cia on the shoulder. Fans applaud but Cia frowns as she resets with Nabooru. They tie up again, Nabooru powers Cia back again, but Cia pulls hair to turn things around! Maron reprimands and Cia lets go slowly, to then pie face Nabooru! Nabooru frowns at Cia while Cia just smirks smugly. Maron reprimands again but Nabooru storms up on Cia. Cia gets around and pulls Nabooru’s hair again!

Nabooru breaks free, swings but Cia ducks under! Cia SLAPS Nabooru and fans go nuts! Nabooru glares at Cia, storms up again, but Cia uses the ropes as defense. Maron has Nabooru back off, and then Cia runs up to sucker punch Nabooru! Cia grins as she headlocks and grinds Nabooru down. Nabooru endures, fights up and throws body shots. Cia knees low, then brings Nabooru around to bump off buckles. Cia stomps a mudhole in but lets off as Maron counts. Cia then goes up the corner, but Nabooru stands up to catch Cia! Nabooru drops Cia onto the top buckle, then ROLLING ELBOWS!

Fans fire up while Cia sits down in the corner. Nabooru goes to the opposite corner, runs back in, but has to stop as Cia bails out. Fans are torn but Nabooru goes out after Cia. Nabooru brings Cia around and puts her back in the ring, but Cia gets moving! Nabooru avoids the baseball slide dropkick while hitting an ASAI MOONSAULT! Fans lose their minds and Nabooru is all fired up! Nabooru puts Cia back in again, covers, TWO! Cia rolls away but Nabooru keeps her in the ring. Nabooru stomps Cia, sits her up, and clamps on a neck wrench. Fans rally while Cia endures, and she pries at the grip.

Nabooru pushes Cia down, drops an elbow, covers, TWO! Nabooru keeps on Cia with an armlock, but Cia fights up. Cia throws body shots, but Nabooru CHOPS! Fans “WOO~!” and Nabooru keeps the wristlock. Nabooru wrenches and CHOPS again! And then wrenches again, but Cia ROCKS her with a forearm! Cia then whips Nabooru hard into a corner! Nabooru staggers forward, into Cia’s SLINGBLADE! Volga must’ve taught her that one. Cia and Nabooru hurry back up, and Cia runs in to SLINGBLADE again! Cover, TWO! Cia is frustrated, but she hurries to clamp on with a chinlock. Fans rally as Cia grinds Nabooru down.

Nabooru fights up, pries at the hold, but Cia powers it on tighter. Cia shifts for a proper headlock, then hits a takeover. Cia grinds the headlock but Nabooru headscissors. Cia kips free, Nabooru reverses the roles with her own headlock and takeover. Nabooru fights off Cia’s headscissors, but then Cia pulls hair! Maron reprimands but Cia uses that to get her headlock back. Nabooru headscissors again, and she holds on tight this time to stop Cia’s kip. Cia moves around, rolls into a jackknife bridge, TWO as Nabooru bridges up! The fans cheer, and Nabooru spins Cia into a backslide! TWO, and Cia RANAS to a cover, TWO!

Cia gets up, takes a swing, but Nabooru gets under and around to waistlock. Nabooru lifts but Cia victory rolls through, to STOMP 182! Nabooru sputters, staggers to her feet, and Cia stalks her. Cia hits the BACKSTABBER, then the BLACK MAGIC CROSSFACE! Fans go nuts as Nabooru endures! Nabooru claws at the hold, claws at the mat, reaches around, and gets her one arm free! Cia keeps on the facelock part of the hold, but Nabooru powers her way forward to the ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer, Maron counts, and Cia lets go at 4. Cia is frustrated, and she dares Nabooru to get back up.

Nabooru fumbles up the ropes, Cia runs up, but Nabooru denies the backstabber this time! Cia staggers up now, and Nabooru runs up to waistlock, go to the ropes, and O’Conner Roll! With bridge- NO, Cia blocks the bridge! She has body scissors and rolls around with Nabooru, GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!! “This is Awesome!” as Nabooru escapes by a narrow margin! Cia argues with Maron but Maron says two is two! Cia rushes back up but Nabooru gets around to dragon sleeper! Fans fire up but Cia snapmares free! Cia goes for the crossface, but Nabooru rolls, facelocks, and URA N B R!! Fans fire up while Cia is in a daze, and Nabooru runs to SLIDING KNEE!

Nabooru rises and the fans are thunderous again! Nabooru drags Cia up into the dragon sleeper, for the proper N B R!! Cover, Nabooru wins!

Winner: Nabooru, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

What a wild finish to a wild start of the show! The Gerudo icon has a huge return win, will she make her way to the top of HPW?

 

Bracket of Power Semifinal: Tali w/ Shabonne VS Bad Croc Scaly!

The Dame of the Dunes came out the winner in a battle of beauty and brawn against Buliara in the opening round, but now things look to get ugly! Will Tali be able to get past the Swamp Boss of Arrow Club? Or will she be brought down by the Undertow?

The bell rings and the two circle. The fans rally up, the two tie up, and they’re in a deadlock! They break, talk a little smack, then tie up again. They’re in another deadlock, and then Scaly uses his height for leverage. He pushes Tali back a couple steps, but she digs in her heels and pushes Scaly back those same two steps. Scaly shifts and puts Tali up against ropes. The ref counts the ropebreak, Scaly lets off quickly and he stares Tali down. Tali eggs Scaly on while the two reset. They circle again, tie up, and Tali gets around to CLUB Scaly! And CLUB him again and again! Tali powers Scaly to ropes and whips, but Scaly blocks!

Tali tries to whip again but Scaly holds the ropes. The ref reprimands, Scaly CLUBS Tali’s arms to break free, then he ELBOWS Tali! Tali staggers, Scaly storms up on her and whips her to ropes. Tali holds the ropes to stop herself, Scaly runs in, and Tali DUMPS him out of the ring! The fans fire up as Scaly hits off the apron, but manages to land on his feet. Tali goes out after him, and Tali RAMS Scaly into the post! Scaly hobbles, Tali keeps him moving and RAMS him into railing! Fans fire up, Tali high-fives a few, and she continues following Scaly around the way. Tali CLUBS Scaly again, and they end up by the ramp.

Tali CLUBS Scaly again while the ring count is climbing. Scaly throws body shots in return! Scaly reels Tali in and fireman’s carries her! GORON DROP onto the ramp! Everyone felt that one, and Scaly leaves Tali behind. The ring count is 5 of 10 while Tali writhes. Shabonne coaches Tali and Tali rises up at 7. Tali hurries back to the ring and rolls in at 9! But then Scaly is there to drop a BIG ELBOW! Scaly drags Tali to a cover, TWO! Tali hangs tough and Scaly grows frustrated. Scaly sits Tali up for a neck wrench! The fans rally while Tali endures, and she fights her way up, only for Scaly to throw her down by her hair!

The ref reprimands but Scaly tells him to let off. Scaly looms over Tali as she sits up again. Scaly CLUBS Tali right in the chest! Tali sputters, Scaly sits her up again, and CLUBS her in the chest again! Scaly HIP DROPS Tali, then reels her into a CAMEL CLUTCH! Tali endures while fans are torn, but Scaly pulls her way back! Tali refuses to quit, the fans rally harder, and Tali gets her arms free! Tali manages to pick Scaly up! Fans go nuts as Tali has Scaly up like a backpack, and then BACKPACK SENTONS! Fans fire up while both of them are down! Scaly and Tali stir, so the ref starts a standing count.

Tali and Scaly crawl towards opposite corners. The count reaches 5 of 10, they both drag themselves up with the ropes, and they’re both standing by 7. The fans cheer, and Scaly runs corner to corner! Tali dodges and Scaly hits buckles! Tali comes back and RAMS into Scaly! Fans fire up and Tali keeps moving, to RAM into Scaly again! Tali brings Scaly out and tries to torture rack?! Scaly might be too big for Tali to lift like that! Yep, Tali’s back won’t let her and Scaly is free. Scaly grabs Tali by the neck and prepares his thumb! GRE- NO! Tali ducks the Grenade and kicks low! Tali then fireman’s carries Scaly!

Fans fire up as Tali manages a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Tali roars and the fans fire up more! Tali aims from a corner, Scaly staggers to his feet, and Tali runs in to SPEAR!! Cover, Tali wins!

Winner: Tali, by pinfall (advances to the bracket finals)

Another powerful victory for the Dame of the Dunes! Will she be just the first of three to head for the next round?

 

Bracket of Wisdom Semifinal: Aveil VS Donny B. Kool!

So far so good for the Gerudo Sisterhood! But now, the Desert Flower takes on the Original Geru, and he is vibing like never before! Will Aveil keep up with Nabooru and Tali? Or will Donny make a big splash going into the bracket finals?

The bell rings and the fans are singing both ways, “Aveeeil~! Aveil, Aveil, Aveeeil~!” “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” “Aveeeil~, Aveeeil~!” “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Donny is digging the remix as he circles with Aveil. They feel things out, they tie up, and they go around. Aveil pushes Donny back to steps, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Donny pushes Aveil back two steps, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Aveil pushes Donny, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Donny pushes Aveil, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Aveil breaks the collar ‘n’ elbow, but Donny still steps back, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!”

Aveil is a little annoyed, but she and Donny tie up again. They go around, Donny puts Aveil in a corner, the ref counts, and Donny lets off at 4. Donny takes two steps at a time to stay on beat with “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Donny and Aveil reset, tie up again, and Aveil wrenches to a wristlock. Donny works on an escape while fans rally. Donny rolls, spins on the mat, and wrenches Aveil back. Fans cheer as Aveil now works on her escape. Aveil slips through, wrenches then hammerlocks, then headlocks, spins, drop toeholds, then rolls over Donny to facelock, and fans cheer the technical display.

Donny fights up while fans rally. Donny takes two steps to the left, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Then two steps to the right, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Aveil CLUBS Donny, suplexes, but Donny knees free! Donny spins and sweeps the legs with his tail! Then Donny SPLASHES down! Cover, TWO! Donny keeps cool and he stalks Aveil to a corner. Donny stomps, stomps! “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Stomp stomp, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” The ref reprimands and counts, but Donny brings Aveil up. Donny whips corner to corner, but Aveil reverses. Donny goes up and over but Aveil stops from hitting buckles.

Aveil rolls back to reach up and headscissor Donny into the corner! Aveil kips up, fans fire up, and Aveil runs in to then go up the corner, SWINGING DROPKICK! The fans fire up again, Aveil drags Donny from the corner to cover, TWO! The fans continue to cheer while Aveil grows a little annoyed. Aveil sits Donny up to clamp on a chinlock and squeezes tight. Donny endures, fans rally up, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Donny fights up, pries the hold open, but Aveil kicks Donny in the leg! Aveil grabs Donny’s arms and digs a knee into Donny’s back for a motorcycle stretch! Donny endures again as fans rally back up.

Donny fights up again, works to turn things around, but Aveil powers him back into place. Donny tries turning the other way, but Aveil powers him back into place. So Donny drops back and kicks from below! Aveil staggers to the ropes, Donny runs in, PULL UP TO THE CURB LIKE! Cover, TWO! Aveil survives and fans are torn! Donny looks around, he drags Aveil to a drop zone and goes up, but Aveil anchors him by his tail! Donny shakes free then CROSSBODIES! Donny gets up, waits for Aveil to sit up and runs back in, POPPIN’ MAH COLLARBONE! Cover, TWO! Donny clenches his jaw but he does his best to keep cool.

Fans duel with the singing again, “Aveeeil~! Aveil, Aveil, Aveeeil~!” “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” “Aveeeil~, Aveeeil~!” “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Donny brings Aveil up, CHOPS her, CHOPS her again, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” Donny CHOP CHOPS, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” CHOP CHOP, “YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!” But then Aveil blocks and fans stop at “YOU BETTER.” Aveil wrenches, and throws a heavy back elbow! And another back elbow, and another back elbow! Donny drops a knee, Aveil wrenches to bring him back up, for more heavy elbows! Donny drops down almost to his face, but Aveil drags him up again.

Aveil reels Donny in for the full nelson! Donny thrashes to fight it off, then arm-drags free! Donny runs up again, but Aveil jumps to DOUBLE STOMP the slide down! The fans fire up again as Aveil drags Donny to a drop zone and goes up top! MOONSAULT, but onto knees! Aveil writhes, fans go nuts and Donny flounders his way to the corner! Donny drags himself up top, but Aveil scrambles over, SHORYUKEN! Fans are torn as Aveil climbs up after Donny. Aveil brings Donny up, for the SUPERPLEX! Fans fire up as Aveil rolls through and deadlifts Donny, to then shift to a full nelson! DESERT RAIN!! Aveil flips Donny over to the cover, Aveil wins!!

Winner: Aveil, by pinfall (advances to the bracket finals)

The Desert Flower blooms again! Fans are torn, but then cheer as Aveil shows the Original Geru respect with a handshake and bow. Aveil is moving on towards the top but Donny once again stalls out. What will it take for DBK to have his day?

 

Bracket of Courage Semifinal: Riju VS Grim Creeper w/ Ted Beedle Ossi!

The Gerudo Sisterhood is on a roll! But will their pint-sized dynamo help them finish strong? Or will the UnderWorld Order ruin the fun for everyone?

Seems Beedle has put more into his investment, as Creeper’s gear has a lot of silver and chrome in it now. The bell rings and the two circle. The fans sing, “Heeeey~ Ri~ju! I wanna know- oh~ oh~, o-oh! Will you be mah girl?” Riju and Creeper tie up, go around, Creeper wrenches then headlocks. Riju throws body shots, powers out, but Creeper ducks the clothesline to redirect and YAKUZA KICK! But Riju kips right up! Fans cheer, Creeper thinks it’s for him, but then he turns around and Riju ROCKS him with a forearm! Riju whips, Creeper reverses but Riju ducks ‘n’ dodges ‘n’ slides to ROLLING ELBOW!

Fans fire up while Creeper bails out! Riju runs to WRECK Creeper with a dropkick! Creeper flounders, Riju pursues, but Beedle stands in the way. Referee Tiger Sahasrahla reprimands Beedle and he backs off. Riju storms up on Creeper, but he kicks her leg out! Fans boo while Riju hobbles, but then Creeper POSTS her! Fans boo more but Creeper whips Riju hard into railing! Riju slumps down while fans boo and Creeper soaks up the heat. Creeper storms up to Riju, drags her up and puts her in the ring. Creeper then drags her to a corner and pulls her arm against the post! Sahasrahla reprimands and the fans boo, but Creeper lets off at 4.

Riju shakes out her bad arm but Creeper gets in to stomp her. Creeper grabs at the bad arm, Riju kicks at him, but Creeper stomps her down. Creeper grabs the bad arm, wrenches it, then grinds the shoulder. Riju endures and fans rally up, but Creeper wrenches the arm again. Creeper RAMS shoulders, then wrangles Riju to grind the shoulder into the mat. The fans still rally as Riju endures. Riju fights up, reaches out for ropes but Creeper drags her away! Creeper steps through to La Magistrol! TWO, and Creeper CLUBS Riju down! Fans boo as Creeper clamps back onto the bad arm! Riju scrambles to the ROPEBREAK!

The fans cheer, Sahasrahla counts, and Creeper lets off with a STOMP to the arm! The fans boo and Riju clutches the elbow as she scoots to a corner. Sahasrahla reprimands but Creeper storms back up on Riju. Creeper stomps Riju, digs his boots in, but lets off as Sahasrahla counts. Creeper taunts Riju, scuffs her, then backs off. Riju scowls, stands back up, and shakes out the bad arm again. Riju and Creeper reset and tie up, but Creeper wrenches the bad arm. Creeper RAMS shoulders, then whips Riju to a corner. Creeper runs in to forearm smash! Creeper then snapmares Riju to run and basement dropkick! Cover, TWO!

Fans cheer but Creeper clamps back onto the bad arm. Riju reaches out again, but Creeper steps over and rolls her away, for an ARMBAR! Riju hurries to clasp hands, but Creeper pulls at the grip! Fans rally as Riju kicks around, and stacks Creeper to a cover! TWO, and Creeper breaks the grip! ARMBAR! Riju flails and reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Riju escapes by a tiptoe and fans fire up! Creeper lets go in frustration, but Beedle coaches him to stay cool. Creeper storms back over but Riju slips out to the apron. Creeper grabs at Riju through the ropes but Riju HOTSHOTS him away! Riju then runs in to UPPERCUT Creeper down!

The fans fire up and Riju feeds off the energy. Riju runs to handspring and MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Creeper sputters but fans rally up again as Riju takes aim. Creeper sits up, Riju runs in, SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO! Creeper is hanging tough but the fans fire up behind Riju again. Beedle panics, though, and starts looking around. Is he looking for outside interference from other UnderWorld Order members? Riju also looks around but no one appears. Oh, wait, The Poe Sisters are scurrying out from around the stage area? Because they’re being chased by Buliara and Urbosa! Fans cheer as the Gerudo Sisterhood is watching out for their own!

Beedle is furious, but Creeper still clamps on the CREEPER SLEEPER!! Fans boo and Riju flails around! Beedle cheers, but Riju pushes back full speed into ropes! Creeper and Riju tumble out of the ring and to the floor! Fans are going nuts and so is Beedle! Riju is free, Creeper takes a swing but she dodges! Creeper stops himself from running into Beedle, but then turns around into a SHOTGUN! Fans fire up as both Creeper and Beedle fall! Riju drags Creeper up and into the ring, hurries up the corner, but she reconsiders given the bad arm. Riju hops down, drags Creeper up, but he cradle counters! TWO!!

Riju escapes, Creeper swings but Riju bobs ‘n’ weaves ‘n’ HEADBUTTS! Creeper wobbles, Riju reels him in, MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS! Cover, Riju wins!

Winner: Riju, by pinfall (advances to the bracket finals)

The fans are thunderous for the Gerudo Sisterhood’s 4-0 sweep on the night! Will it be the same in the next round?

Wait, what the hell!? Byrne is going after Rusl!! Fans go nuts as Byrne throws hands but security rushes in! Rusl is furious as they drag Byrne away and shouts at him about fighting like a man. Is Byrne’s next stop going to dragging Rusl out of retirement?


My Thoughts:

A lot of fun with this one, and yeah, we’re giving the Gerudo Sisterhood their shine. HPW history being made with a Gerudo, and therefore a female wrestler, in each of the bracket finals. And we’ve still got tomorrow, February 29th, taking advantage of the leap year for more action!


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Bandwagon Nerds

Bandwagon Nerds #231: Disney News & Superhero Madness

Round two of Superhero Madness begins this week. Cinema Con gives us plenty of Disney news and a trip to the trailer park. TUNE IN!

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Bandwagon Nerds Mario

With Dave and Patrick out visiting both Disney bases respectively, Rey, DP and Tunney take the reins. Speaking of Disney, we have some news from Cinema Con on a plethora of Disney projects. Could Robert Downey Jr. make a return to the MCU? The trailer park gives us four new looks at… The Beach Boys Official Doc on Disney+, Joker: Folie a Deux, Young Woman and the Sea and Civil War. To round out the show we are back at the Superhero Madness! This week we begin the second round in the Mutants/Genetics and Non-Powered Humans brackets. TUNE IN!!!

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Hockey Talk- Metro Mayhem [040924]

Hockey Talk looks at an absolutely wild playoff situation taking shape in the Eastern Conference while, out West, the battle for seeding rages on.

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Hockey Talk returns this week to look at the insanity that is the playoff situation in the Eastern Conference. While the Western Conference focuses on seeding, the eight teams involved are pretty well set. That is definitely not the case in the East where seven teams all still have a legitimate shot at taking the last two playoff spots. This is especially true in the Metropolitan Division where five teams could end up with results ranging from a third-place finish, to a wild card finish, to missing the playoffs entirely. The guys bring you up to speed as to what to expect with just a few games left in the regular season.

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

  • Mayhem in the Eastern Conference and Metro Division
  • Seeding on the line out West
  • Milestones for Austin Matthews, Sydney Crosby, and Alex Ovechkin.

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Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.

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