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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 32 Results & Report! (8/9/22)

Will Naito Go To Sleep?

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NJPW G1 Climax 32

Tetsuya Naito fights to stay alive in the G1!

In what could be his last year in NJPW, Tetsuya Naito fights to stay alive in the biggest G1 Climax ever! But will Kenta make him Go To Sleep?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Tomohiro Ishii & Kosei Fujita VS BUSHI & Shingo Takagi; Bushi & Takagi win.
  • Royce Isaacs & Tom Lawlor VS TAKA Michinoku & Zack Sabre Jr; Isaacs & Lawlor win.
  • 8 Man Tag: The United Empire VS Bullet Club; The United Empire wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Kazuchika Okada, Hiroshi Tanahashi, Hirooki Goto & Toru Yano VS Bullet Club; Okada, Tanahashi, Goto & Yano win.
  • G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Yujiro Takahashi; Yujiro wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: SANADA VS Chase Owens; Sanada wins.
  • G1 Climax, B Block: Tama Tonga VS Taichi; Tama wins.
  • G1 Climax, A Block: JONAH VS Lance Archer; Archer wins.
  • G1 Climax, C Block: Tetsuya Naito VS KENTA; Naito wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current standings!

A Block

  • JONAH: 3-1, 6 points
  • Kazuchika Okada: 3-1, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Lance Archer: 2-2, 4 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 2-1, 4 points
  • Taichi: 2-1, 4 points
  • SANADA: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-1, 6 points
  • Zack Sabre Jr: 3-1, 6 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 2-2, 4 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 2-2, 4 points
  • EVIL: 2-2, 4 points
  • KENTA: 1-2, 2 points
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-1, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-1, 4 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • El Phantasmo: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

 

G1 Climax, D Block: YOSHI-HASHI VS Yujiro Takahashi w/ Pieter!

The Headhunter is still alive in the G1, but so is the Tokyo Pimp! Someone’s bubble could burst right here, will Hashi be able to #TurnItAllAround? Or will he be washed away by Pimp Juice?

While Hashi makes his entrance, Yujiro attacks him on the corner! Yujiro throws Hashi down, stomps him, and pulls Hashi’s jacket and NEVER Openweight Six Man title belt off him while the ref reprimands. The ref snatches the belt from Yujiro and Yujiro says he wasn’t gonna use it. Yujiro stomps Hashi, the bell rings and Yujiro rains down fists. The ref reprimands about the closed fists so Yujiro lets off. Yujiro drags Hashi up while fans rally for “HEAD-HUNT-ER! HEAD-HUNT-ER!” Yujiro CLUBS Hashi, drags him up, then ROCKS him with a forearm. And another! Yujiro whips Hashi to ropes, but Hashi elbows back!

Hashi runs Yujiro over, then kicks him low to hit the NECKBREAKER! Fans fire up with Hashi while Pieter panics for Yujiro. Hashi goes out after Yujiro but Yujiro kicks low. Yujiro whips but Hashi reverses and Yujiro hits railing! Yujiro falls over, but then hurries to grab things from under the ring. Yujiro has a chair, and as Hashi walks around the way, Yujiro JAMS Hashi! And CLOBBERS him! The ref reprimands, this is the same ref who called Juice VS ELP and disqualified ELP! Yujiro defends his innocence, but fans rally for Hashi. But then Yujiro goes and unties the red corner buckle pad! The remix of the Bullet Club Special!

The ref starts a ring count and Hashi sits up at 4 of 20. Hashi stands at 7, gets in at 9, but Yujiro drags him up. Yujiro whips Hashi into the bare buckles! Hashi writhes and flounders but fans rally up. Yujiro drags Hashi up to RAM Hashi into the buckles! The ref reprimands while Hashi writhes, but there’s nothing that can be done about the pad. Fans still rally but Yujiro drags Hashi back up. Yujiro scoops Hashi to SLAM him down, covers, TWO! Hashi survives and Yujiro is almost confused as to how. Yujiro fires forearms on Hashi over and over, all the way to the mat! Yujiro then drags Hashi up to snapmare and basement BOOT! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally but Yujiro argues the count. The ref says his count is fair, and fans rally up. Yujiro drags Hashi up but Hashi throws body shots! And a CHOP! That’s a stinger! Yujiro knees low, knees low again, then runs to BOOT Hashi against ropes! Yujiro drags Hashi up and reels him in, FISHER- NO, Hashi fights that off to suplex high and hard! Fans fire up and Hashi shakes out his bad arm. Hashi and Yujiro rise, and Hashi fires off strikes and a CHOP! Yujiro staggers away, Hashi runs in at the corner to clothesline! Hashi whips to CHOP, then mule kick! Hashi runs, HEADHUNTER! Fans fire up again while Yujiro flounders away.

Hashi drags Yujiro up, suplexes him to hang him out to dry, and then runs side to side for the dropkick! Yujiro flips down, Hashi keeps moving, basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up and Hashi shakes out the bad arm. Hashi drags Yujiro up, reels him in, but Yujiro fights the lift and BITES the hand! The erf reprimands, but Yujiro CLUBS Hashi and whips him to ropes Hashi reverses but Yujiro holds ropes. Hashi runs in but Yujiro BOOTS! But Hashi comes back, into a FLAPJACK HOTSHOT! Yujiro drags Hashi up, FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Hashi survives and fans fire up again!

Yujiro crawls over while Pieter looks worried. Yujiro drags Hashi up, reels him in, but Hashi blocks the Intercollegiate Slam! Hashi CLUBS Yujiro but Yujiro ROCKS Hashi! Yujiro whips, Hashi reverses and wrangles Yujiro, into the BUTTERFLY LOCK! Yujiro endures, the fans fire up, and Hashi cranks way back. But SHO is here! Of course the Murder Machine backs up his House of Torture housemate! The ref tells Sho to go but Hashi lets Yujiro go to tell Sho himself! Yujiro crawls up behind Hashi to LW- NO, Hashi blocks it! Hashi drags Yujiro up but Yujiro rakes eyes! Yujiro whips, Hashi ducks and trips Sho up to then RAM him into railing!

Fans fire up as Hashi gets on the apron, and he shoulders into Yujiro to HOTSHOT him down! Hashi climbs and fans fire up again. Yujiro stands for the BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Yujiro survives but the fans still rally behind Hashi. Hashi drags Yujiro up, full nelsons, but Yujiro grabs the ref! Yujiro elbows Hashi away, then shoves the ref at him! Hashi shoves the ref back, Yujiro shoves him aside, SUPERKICK! SNAP DRAGON! And Hashi fires up to run, but Yujiro grabs at the ref! Hashi still DECKS Yujiro, then drags him up. Yujiro RAKES eyes! Yujiro whips Hashi then “falls” against the ref, so Sho can SMACK Hashi with a chair!!

Yujiro sits Hashi up, PIMP JUICE!! Cover, TWO!?! Hashi survives and Yujiro can’t believe it! Fans are thunderous as Yujiro pleads with the ref. Yujiro pounds the mat in frustration, then he drags Hashi up. Yujiro reels Hashi in for BIG- NO, Hashi fights off the juice to get a SLEEPER! Then a BACKSTABBER! Yujiro writhes now and fans rally back up. Hashi goes to a corner and aims at Yujiro. Yujiro sits up, BLINDSIDE KNEE! Hashi drags Yujiro up, full nelson to pump handle, but Sho distracts again! So Hashi RAMS Yujiro into Sho, schoolboy with bridge! TWO!! Yujiro escapes , blocks a lariat, but not the SOUTHPAW!

Fans fire up again as Hashi drags Yujiro back up! Full nelson, pump handle, but Yujiro fireman’s carries! But Hashi slips off to SUPERKICK! And then the spin, pump handle, but Yujiro fights free! Yujiro shoves Hashi into the buckles!! Hashi checks his face while Yujiro gets his pimp cane! But the ref sees that and tells Yujiro no! They argue over the cane, Sho has his wrench! But Hashi blocks it! So Sho LOW BLOWS, then WRENCH SHOT! Yujiro lets the cane go, hobbles over and drags Hashi up, to a BIG JUICE!! Cover, Yujiro wins!

Winner: Yujiro Takahashi, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Hashi earns 0)

The Tokyo Pimp uses the stacked deck in his favor again, and he’s right behind David Finlay! Will Yujiro take over the block? Or will The Rebel refuse to fall?

 

G1 Climax, B Block: SANADA VS Chase Owens!

The Cold Skull is right on the edge, he needs this win to stay alive. Will Sanada keep the promise of a tranquilo semifinals alive? Or will the Crown Jewel get to play spoiler?

The bell rings and fans rally up. Chase wants to Too Sweet but Sanada says no, they LIJ fist bump. No, Too Sweet, open the fist. No, fist bump, put the Too Sweet away. Chase wants a handshake but Sanada still wants a fist bump. The two circle and fans rally up, “SA-NA-DA!” They feel out the grapple, Sanada avoids the leg pick, but Chase gets a waistlock. Sanada pries free to switch and waistlock, but Chase pries free to wrench and wristlock. Sanada pushes through to get the waistlock but Chase drops to arm-drag to an armlock. Sanada reaches over to clasp hands and get a chinlock but Chase clamps it’s a choke.

Chase powers through to get the arm again, but Sanada fights up to push Chase and arm-drag. But Chase holds on to arm-drag again! Fans rally as Sanada endures but Chase grabs fingers to bend them! Sanada endures the top wristlock so Chase covers, TWO! Fans applaud the technical exchange as the two reset. Sanada and Chase tie up, Sanada clinches to a waistlock then headlock and takeover. Sanada then floats to get the legs, BOW ‘N’ ARROW but Chase pops right out to a cover, ONE!! Fans applaud this new exchange, and Chase wants a handshake to say good job. Fist bump? No, handshake.

Fans rally up and Chase says he’s a good guy. Sanada accepts the handshake, but he blocks Chase’s cheap shot kick! Sanada knew better, and he trips Chase up! Sanada ties Chase up but Chase kicks him away. Chase trips Sanada and tries to steal Paradise! Chase can’t quite get it and Sanada kicks Chase away! Chase rebounds to run Sanada over! Things speed up, Chase sunset flips but Sanada rolls through to get the legs! Sanada tells Chase this is what he gets, but Chase apologizes! No good, Sanada puts Chase in the Paradise Lock! Fans fire up and Sanada encourages them to get louder. The fans get louder, and Sanada runs in to dropkick Chase out of Paradise!

Chase bails out and fans fire up more. Sanada slingshots but Chase slides in. Sanada lands on the apron and shoulders in, but into a KICK! Chase then turns Sanada for a HOTSHOT NECKBREAKER! Sanada flops to the floor and fans rally up. Chase goes out after Sanada to drag him up. Chase wants Bushi to watch this on commentary. Headlock PUNCH! Chase then snatches Bushi’s magazine away, and throws it away. Chase puts Sanada in the ring, drops a knee, then another knee! Chase then rains down fists on Sanada but the ref reprimands. Chaes lets off, fans rally for Sanada, but Chase stands on Sanada’s bad eyebrow! Cover, TWO!

Chase clamps on a chinlock and he squeezes tight. Sanada endures and fans rally up, but Chase cranks the hold. Sanada fights up, throws body shots, but Chase scoops and SLAMS him! Chase goes to the corner, hops up and blesses his fist, but he blocks the boot! Chase wags his finger, but then misses the elbow drop! Sanada gets space, runs back in and dropkicks the leg out! Chase clutches his knee and fans fire up. Sanada fires up and runs in again, but Chase gets around! Sanada switches but Chase elbows him away. Chase runs, but Sanada hurdles, and hurdles, and dropkicks! Chase bails out and Sanada takes aim to PLANCHA!

Fans fire up as Chase goes down! Fans rally and Sanada puts Chase in the ring. Sanada covers, TWO! Chase gets up but Sanada is on him for a fireman’s carry. Chase slips off, Sanada fights the half nelson but Chase fires off a strike fest! Chase runs, but Sanada elbows him! Sanada goes to run but Chase reels him in, to schoolboy him into ropes! The ropes send Sanada down and Chase steps over, STF! Sanada endures and fans fire up, but Chase shifts to a full CROSSFACE! Sanada endures so Chase shifts right to a RINGS OF SATURN! Sanada moves around, reaches out, ROPEBREAK! The fans applaud but Chase lets off in frustration.

Chase watches Sanada go to a corner. Chase runs in but Sanada BOOTS him! Sanada hops up but Chase GAMANGIRIS! Then SUPER FLYING MARE, into a SHINING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!! Sanada survives and fans fire up! Chase drags Sanada up, tucks him in, but Sanada fights the driver! Sanada fireman’s carries, throws him into the dragon sleeper, but Chase arm-drags free! Chase runs in at the corner, but into an elbow! Sanada QUEBRADA, but Chase catches him! Chase gives Sanada SNAKE EYES, then clamps on a SLEEPER! Sanada endures and fans rally but Chase sits Sanada down!

Chase leans on the hold, Sanada is turning red, but the fans rally up. Sanada reaches out and fans rally as he fights. Sanada powers back up, reaches out, and uses the corner to push back to a cover! TWO!! C-TRIG- NO, Sanada dodges and O’Conner- NO, Chase blocks to steal SKULL END!! Sanada fades, and Chase lets him go to further copy Sanada’s style! Chase goes up the corner, ROUNDING- NO, Sanada moves! Chase crashes and fans rally up again! Sanda goes up, ROUNDING BODY PRESS onto knees! Cradle cover, TWO!! Sanada escapes at the last second, and fans fire up as he fires off forearms! Chase roars, but Sanada ROLLING ELBOWS!

Sanada runs, into a C-TRIGGER! Sanda roars, C-TRIGGER again!! Chase drags Sanada up, tucks him in, but Sanada RANAS free! And then pop-up TKO!! Chase is down, Sanada goes up again, ROUNDING BODY PRESS hits!! Cover, TWO!! Into SKULL END!!! Chase flails, fans rally up, and Chase is fading out! Chase gets a second wind, pops free of the sleeper, but Sanada fights to get the SKULL END again!! Chase flails, reaches out, but he PASSES OUT!! Sanada wins!!

Winner: Sanada, by submission (gains 2 points; Chase earns 0)

The Crown Jewel didn’t tap out, but he still met his Skull End in this one! Sanada is moving on up, but will he be able to take the block from Jay White?

 

G1 Climax, B Block: Tama Tonga w/ Jado VS Taichi w/ Miho Abe!

The Good Bad Guy and the Holy Emperor are tied for second in the block, but Jay White is pulling away with his 4-0 streak. Who wins here to then take aim at the Switchblade?

Taichi shows off the dancing pecs and fans applaud. The bell rings and fans rally up as the two stare down. Tama and Taichi slowly circle, tie up, and Tama powers Taichi to ropes. The ref calls the break and Tama lets off with a pat on the shoulder. Tama and Taichi egg each other on, and they circle again. They tie up, Tama powers Taichi back again, but the ref calls for the ropebreak. Tama lets off slowly but Taichi dares him to take a shot. Tama just pats Taichi on the shoulder again. Fans applaud the sportsmanship and Taichi asks what’s wrong. Did Tama and Jado go soft after leaving Bullet Club? Taichi then grabs his bag of tricks, and tosses Tama his bag of tricks.

Tama opens it up, and sees the Iron Claw!! It’s like Tama’s seen a ghost! Taichi says go ahead, hold it! No, that’s bad juju! Fans fire up for the claw and Taichi holds it out to Tama! Tama says no, put that away. Taichi tosses it at Tama and Tama swats it away! Taichi picks it up and stomps Tama! The ref reprimands as Taichi digs his boot in. Taichi lets off at 4 but still wants Tama to wear the iron claw! Tama swats him away and the ref has Taichi back off. Taichi lets the claw go to stomp Tama down! Taichi talks trash on Jado but the ref counts as Taichi stands on Tama’s neck. Taichi kicks Tama out of the ring, then whips him into the railing!

Fans rally up but Taichi uses camera cable to CHOKE Tama! The ref reprimands, counts, and Taichi lets go at 4. Taichi dares Jado to do something but Jado stays back. Taichi gives Jado a free shot but Jado refuses. Taichi goes back to Jado and CLUBS him down! Taichi drags Tama up and into the ring and fans rally up. Taichi stomps Tama, kicks him around, then taunts him. Taichi says if Tama’s the Good Bad Guy, then hit him below the belt! Taichi drags Tama up to CHOKE him! The ref reprimands and Taichi shoves Tama down. Taichi keeps egging Tama on, then drags him up to snapmare and KICK!

Taichi covers, but he’s also choking! ONE, but Taichi tries again. The ref sees the choke this time and reprimands. Taichi says that’s not a choke, THIS is a choke! The ref reprimands and counts, and Taichi lets off. Taichi argues with the ref, drags Tama up, but Tama throws forearms! Taichi eggs him on and then wrenches to HOOK KICK! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up and Tama snarls. Taichi paces, dares Tama to go get the claw. Tama refuses so Taichi KICKS him! Taichi says use the claw, but Tama says no! So Taichi KICKS him again! Tama roars and eggs Taichi on so Taichi KICKS! Fans rally as the KICKS keep coming!

Tama eggs Taichi, then fires off haymakers! Taichi CHOKES him to a corner! The ref counts, Taichi lets off and whips corner to corner. Tama comes back, but into a BOOT! Tama comes back again to LARIAT Taichi! Both men are down and fans fire up! Tama rises and he waits on Taichi to stand. Tama runs in to LARIAT again! And elbow! And scoop SLAM! Fans fire up more and Tama drags Taichi up. Tama reels Taichi in for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Tama keeps his cool and paces around. Fans rally up, Tama drags Taichi up into the dragon sleeper, but Taichi CHOKES from underneath!

The ref reprimands, but Taichi CHOKES with the other hand! Tama breaks free with a EuroUpper, then throws more EuroUppers to put Taichi in a corner. Tama whips Taichi corner to corner then runs in, but Taichi dodges the splash to GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up as both men are down, and Jado and Miho coach their guys up. Taichi sits up first, then stands, and he waits on Tama. Tama sits up, but he ducks the buzzsaw! Taichi dodges the Superman Punch, BOOTS Tama, but Tama comes back, into another GAMANGIRI! Fans fire up again and Taichi rises back up. Taichi roars, and OFF COME THE PANTS!

Taichi aims from a corner and powers up, but then the fans rallying makes him think. Will Taichi use the claw?! Taichi goes to it, grabs it from his bag, and he puts it on! Taichi laughs maniacally but Jado points it out to the ref! The ref tries to stop Taichi but Taichi shoves him away! Taichi tries to resist its call, but the iron claw is so powerful! Tama fireman’s carries Taichi! SRC!! The ref takes the claw away, Tama hurries to the corner and climbs up! SUPREME FLOW!! Cover, TWO!! Taichi survives but the fans fire up! OFF COMES THE VEST! Tama and Jado get the fans to clap along with the mat drums.

But wait, is it…? Now Tama is hearing the call of the claws! Tama goes over to take it from Taichi’s corner! Jado tells Tama to let those guy! The ref tells Tama, too! But the fans rallying seems to make the call stronger! Tama looks at Jado and Jado tells him no! But Taichi says DO IT! DO IT NOW! Tama is conflicted, too! Tama presses the claws into his own head, but then throws it to the ref! GUN- NO, Taichi throws Tama down to GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!!! GUN ST- NO!! Taichi drags Tama up, DANGEROUS SAIDO!! Cover, TWO!?!? Tama survives and shocks everyone! Miho shouts to Taichi and Jado coaches Tama as the fans are thunderous!

Taichi roars, rises up, and he drags Tama up for Alabama Lift. Tama fights that to underhook, but Taichi slips out. AX- NO, Tama catches Taichi to a dragon sleeper. But Taichi slips out before the twist, and then fights the German Suplex! Taichi PELES Tama, but Tama ENZIGURIS back! Taichi wobbles, Tama stalks him, and runs in, into a ROUNDHOUSE! But Tama stays up!? Tama and Taichi run in, Tama dodges Ax Bomber to TONGAN TWIST!! Both men are down and fans are thunderous again! Tama and Taichi go to opposite corners and drag themselves up to their feet. Taichi and Tama run in, DOUBLE LARIATS!

Neither man falls, they try again! DOUBLE LARIATS! Tama and Taichi lean on each other but they’re still up. Tama throws a forearm first but Taichi throws a kick! Tama throws a forearm, Taichi throws a kick! Tama fires off fast hands but Taichi SOBATS! Taichi runs, into a DROPKICK! But he’s right up to AX BOMBER!! Fans fire up and Taichi drags Tama into the Alabama Lift, BLACK M- NO, Tama slips free to SUPERMAN PUNCH! Then he blocks the superkick to GUN- NO, Taichi shoves Tama away! YOKO- NO, no elbow! Tama and Taichi clinch and fight, Taichi hits the SUMO THROW!

Fans fire up and Taichi hits the three point stance! Taichi runs in, GUN STUN!!! Cover, Tama wins!!

Winner: Tama Tonga, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Taichi earns 0)

And the Good Bad Guy is just behind the Switchblade! Tama then grabs the Iron Claw. He tells Taichi this is over! He then hands the claw back to Taichi, and Taichi is shocked. Will Tama shoot down his last two opponents to take the block?

 

G1 Climax, A Block: JONAH w/ Bad Dude Tito VS Lance Archer!

The Top Dog is on top of the block after taking down the Rainmaker! But the battle of monsters only gets bigger, will Jonah be able to Torpedo the Murderhawk Monster’s run? Or will Archer show that no matter how big you are, #EverybodyDies?

Archer waits for Jonah at the apron, but Jonah steps right up to him. Archer moves back and Jonah gets in the ring. The bell rings and fans rally up, “JO-NAH!” “ARCH-ER!” Archer and Jonah get face to face, but Archer is taller. Archer says if Jonah wants to do something different than “all this flippin’ and floppin’ crazy sh*t,” then let’s go. Archer dares Jonah to swing on him. Jonah winds up to fire a forearm, and Archer gives it back! Jonah forearms again, Archer gives it back and eggs Jonah on. Fans rally as the forearms go back and forth, faster and faster! Jonah CHOPS and Archer smirks. Archer CHOPS and Jonah growls.

Jonah CHOPS, Archer CHOPS, repeat! The CHOPS gain speed and fans rally up! The CHOPS become SLAPS and they go faster and faster, and both men slowly drop to their knees! They still SLAP each other and lean on each other! Fans fire up and the monsters catch their breath. Then they start throwing forearms from their knees! They stand back up, Archer ROCKS Jonah! Archer runs but Jonah breaks the clothesline! But Archer breaks through Jonah’s clothesline! Jonah HEADBUTTS Archer low, then hits a DDT! Fans fire up as both men are down! Fans rally up, Jonah stands and he looms over Archer.

Jonah ELBOWS Archer, but Archer shoves him. Jonah CLUBS Archer, Archer eggs him on so Jonah ROCKS him! And HEADBUTTS him! Archer falls back down and fans fire up again. Jonah runs to ROLLING SENTON! Fans rally as Archer flounders to a corner. Jonah stalks up behind Archer and throws a heavy body shot! Jonah stands Archer up to throw haymakers! Archer chuckles but Jonah RAMS into him again and again! Jonah digs his shoulder in, Archer clubs Jonah but Jonah doesn’t feel it. Jonah lets off as the ref counts, then comes back to claw at Archer’s face! The ref counts, Jonah lets off at 4, and fans rally up.

Jonah drags Archer up, CHOPS him, but Archer CHOPS! Jonah ROCKS Archer in return! Archer sputters and Jonah catches his own breath. Fans rally up and Jonah stomps Archer in the gut! Jonah bumps Archer off buckles but Archer pushes him back. Jonah throws back elbows and Archer sits down. Jonah runs to clothesline Archer, then whips him corner to corner. Jonah SPLASHES, runs, but Archer follows to CLOBBER Jonah from behind! Fans fire up as both monsters slowly rise. Archer runs in at Jonah to back elbow! Then he runs again, to back elbow again! Archer goes again, a THIRD back elbow! Fans fire up as Jonah falls over!

Archer drags Jonah into the drop zone and fans fire up, TWISTING VADER! Cover, TWO! Archer snarls and fans rally up. Archer drags Jonah up and reels him in, but he can’t scoop! Jonah scoops Archer to SLAM him! And SENTON but Archer moves! To SENTON, but he misses, too! Fans fire up as both monsters are down again! Archer grits his teeth but he grins as he brings Jonah up. Archer throws forearms but Jonah gives them back. Fans rally as the forearms keep going, and Archer gets the edge! But Jonah bobs ‘n’ weaves to LARIAT! Archer stays up to BOOT back, then he ripcords for the HELLICOASTER!! Cover, TWO!!

Fans fire up more as Jonah survives that supersized ride! Archer grins and prepares the claw! Jonah rises, Archer reaches for his face! Jonah fights against the claw but Archer powers through! Jonah CLUBS the arm away, fires off haymakers, then HEADBUTTS! Jonah runs, but Archer goes the other way, DERAILER! But Jonah stays on track!! And comes back with the BODY CHECK!! Fans are thunderous after that human demolition derby! Jonah gets up in the corner, sees Archer is down, and he decides to climb! But Archer hits ropes to trip Jonah up! Fans rally as Archer climbs up behind Jonah and rains down fists!

Archer says, “Let’s do a big ass effin’ German!” Jonah doesn’t want to and he fires off back elbows! Archer staggers away and Jonah turns around. Archer ROCKS Jonah with a forearm! Archer then uses the elevation to inverted crucifix lift! But Jonah slips off! Jonah blocks the boot, ducks the haymaker, and LARIATS!! Fans fire up and Jonah drags Archer back up. Jonah reels Archer in, clamps on and lifts, BLACK FOREST BOMB!!! Fans are thunderous but Jonah goes up! But Archer rises!? STEP-UP KNEE!! Jonah flops down to the apron and fans rally again! Archer joins Jonah on the apron, but Jonah SUPERKICKS!

Jonah aims as Archer tumbles away, FLYING SHOULDER TACKLE! Both monsters are down on the outside and fans rally again. Jonah roars and drags Archer up. Jonah whips Archer but Archer reverses! Jonah hits railing hard, and it causes the timekeeper’s table to move back! And Abe-san thought only Evil was going to give him trouble! Bad Dude Tito coaches Jonah to get up, but Archer runs in! CANNONBALL!! Tito gets in to take some of the hit!! Archer may have just crushed both TMDK members! Fans fire up as Archer drags himself up and the ring count begins. Archer drags Jonah up at 4 of 20 to smack Jonah off the apron!

The count is 8 of 20 as Archer clamps on the choke grip! Jonah breaks free and HEADBUTTS, then SPEARS Archer down! We’re at 12 of 20, Jonah gets on the apron! Archer stands up there with him to ROCK him! Jonah LARIATS Archer back into the ring at 15! But Archer BLASTS Jonah at 18!! Jonah staggers, and the count hits 20!! Archer wins!!

Winner: Lance Archer, by count-out (gains 2 points; Jonah earns 0)

Jonah has lost to count-out again! First to Toru Yano the trickster, and now to the Murderhawk Monster! But a win is a win, and now Archer leads the block! Will Jonah be able to salvage this in the final round? Or will Archer go to the semifinals and makes sure #EverybodyDies?

 

G1 Climax, C Block: Tetsuya Naito VS KENTA!

The Uncontrollable Charisma has scratched and clawed to stay alive, but those two strikes mean he could be struck out any moment! Will tonight be the night Naito’s run ends? Or will he refuse to #GoToSleep?

Fans clap for “NA-I-TO! NA-I-TO!” as he takes his time with his entrance attire. That annoys Kenta and he tells the fans to shut up. Kenta then tells Naito to hurry up, but that only makes Naito take longer. Kenta gets antsy and Naito seems to struggle with the shirt sleeves. Naito finally finishes by putting the pants away, and now the bell rings. Fans rally and the two stare down. Naito makes Kenta aware the claps are for “NA-I-TO!” and they circle. They approach, but Kenta pulls a Naito by backing off. Kenta uses the ropes as a defense, so Naito backs off. Kenta says Naito better follow the rules. Naito lets Kenta come back and they circle again.

Fans rally up but again Kenta goes to the ropes. Red Shoes has Naito back off, and fans rally up again. Kenta comes back, he and Naito circle and then Naito backs away to ropes. Naito trolls Kenta and Kenta says that’s stupid. Kenta and Naito circle again, fans rally back up, and then they tie up! Kenta pulls Naito’s hair, knees him against ropes, then whips. Naito reverses to arm-drag, kick low and toss Kenta out! Naito builds speed, but he fakes Kenta out to tranquilo! Kenta slides in and blocks Naito’s kick to claw Naito’s eyes! Kenta throws Naito out then he builds speed, to roll and mock Naito with a cutesy pose of his own.

Kenta dares Naito to come back, but Naito takes his time returning. Naito gets on the apron, but he avoids Kenta’s boot to drag him out and whip him hard into railing! Fans fire up and Naito brings Kenta around to whip into more railing! Red Shoes reprimands and Naito gets in, just to refresh the count. Kenta makes his way to the timekeeper’s area, and he grabs the bell hammer! Kenta CLOBBERS Naito with it!! Kenta drags Naito up to whip hard into railing! Naito tumbles up and over into No Man’s Land! Kenta grabs a mic to scold Abe-san then he goes to fetch Naito. Kenta drags Naito up and POSTS him!

Naito writhes and Kenta stomps him. The ring count climbs, Kenta drags him up and puts him in at 6 of 20. Cover, TWO! Kenta argues about the count but Red Shoes says it is a fair count. Kenta KICKS Naito in the back, then stands on Naito with a cocky cover. Red Shoes refuses to count it so Kenta drags Naito up. Naito throws a haymaker! Kenta staggers to a corner, Naito runs in but Kenta puts him on the apron. Naito blocks the haymaker to ROCK Kenta back, then Naito shoulders in, into a KICK! Kenta goes up the corner for the GUILLOTINE KNEE DROP! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up but Kenta keeps his focus.

Kenta unties a buckle pad and we have another Bullet Club Special remix. Kenta whips Naito into the bare buckles hard! Naito writhes and Kenta gets fans to clap along. Then he has them stop, and he stomps Naito down. Kenta drags Naito up and turns him for a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Kenta clamps on a headscissor hold! Naito endures the squeeze and fans rally up again. Naito moves around, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts and Kenta lets off at 4. Kenta drags Naito up to KICK him in the chest! And then KICKS him again! Kenta drags Naito up and whips him to ropes, to CLOBBER him! Cover, TWO!

Kenta clamps on with a chinlock and Naito endures as the fans rally up. Naito fights up to his feet, throws body shots, but Kenta throws Naito down by his hair! Fans rally again but Kenta paces around Naito. Kenta gives toying kicks then drags Naito up. Naito fires a forearm, then another, and then another! Kenta knees low, whips Naito to ropes, but Naito reverses and slips around, to NECKBREAKER in return! Fans fire up while Kenta slowly sits up. Naito also sits up, and the two slowly stand. Naito throws haymakers and kicks and whips Kenta to ropes. Naito elbows Kenta down then basement dropkicks him!

Naito gets Kenta back up, whips him at the corner, then runs in to JUMP KICK! Leg sweep, COMBINACION CABRON! Fans fire up as Naito poses! Fans rally as “NA-I-TO!” drags Kenta up to the BACKBREAKER! Then the LEG FULL NELSON! Kenta endures and eggs Naito on so Naito puts on more pressure! Kenta fights and reaches, fans rally, and Kenta crawls forward to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts, Naito holds on, claiming he needs help. Red Shoes pries at the hold, Naito lets it off and fans applaud. Naito drags Kenta up, catches his haymaker, but Kenta standing switches. Naito elbows Kenta away and runs, but into a POWERSLAM!

Fans fire up while both men are down again. Kenta crawls to the red corner, drags himself up the ropes, and fans rally up. Naito runs in but Kenta BOOTS him! Kenta goes up, reels Naito in, TORNADO HOTSHOT! Kenta then climbs up while Naito staggers away, FLYING LARIAT! Direct hit and fans fire up! Cover, TWO! Kenta keeps on Naito by going after a leg. STF! Kenta pulls back but Naito endures and fans rally. Naito reaches out while Kenta mocks the claps for “NA-I-TO!” Naito moves around, but he is fading! Naito uses a second wind to get over to the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts and Kenta pulls back before letting off.

Kenta drags Naito up into a waistlock, but Naito fights the lift! Naito elbows free, but swings into a spin a DDT! Kenta covers, TWO!! Naito survives being spiked and fans are fired up again. Kenta drags Naito up, chicken wings him, but Naito fights off the lift! Naito elbows free but Kenta CLUBS him! Kenta eggs Naito on, but Naito blocks the kick and shoves Kenta away. Naito BOOTS Kenta, then TORNADO DDTs! Both men are down and fans fire up again! Naito crawls over to Kenta, drags him up with a cravat, but Kenta fights back with body shots. Naito fires off back elbow after back elbow! Fans applaud as Kenta drops to his knees.

Naito drags Kenta up, throws more of those heavy back elbows, and Kenta drops again. Naito stands on Kenta’s head to keep him down and the fans are thunderous. Naito drags Kenta up to throw even more back elbows! Naito drags Kenta back up to bump him off buckles. Fans continue to rally as Naito throws even more back elbows! Naito then hammerlock and half nelsons, for GLORIA! Cover, TWO! Kenta survives but Naito drags him right back up, to wrench, but Kenta shoves free! Kenta runs, into a SPINEBUSTER! And then wrench and tilt-o- NO, Kenta slips through and hangs Naito out to dry, for SUPER BRAINKILLER!!

Fans are thunderous and Kenta crawls after Naito. Naito sits up so Kenta goes to a corner. Kenta takes aim as Naito is in the opposite corner. Kenta runs in to FLYING BOOT! Naito sits down, Kenta gets moving, HESITATION DROPKICK! Fans fire up and Kenta goes to the corner. Kenta climbs and takes aim again, COUP DE GRACE! Cover, TWO!! Naito survives and fans are thunderous again! Kenta stands back up, drags Naito up to a fireman’s carry, but Naito fights off to back elbow again! Then atomic drop and shove, Kenta ends up in the corner. Naito runs in, he blocks Kenta’s boots, and he puts Kenta in the ropes for a DRAPING NECKBREAKER!

Fans fire up as Naito stands back up. Naito drags Kenta over to a corner and hops up, ESPERANZA! Fans are thunderous again as Naito takes aim, but Kenta BOOTS him! Naito comes back, into a BUSAIKU KNEE!! Kenta drags Naito up to the fireman’s carry, GO TO- DESTINO!! Naito turns things around and we’re past 20 minutes! Fans are electric as Naito and Kenta stir! Naito and Kenta sit up slowly, then Naito lunges to forearm Kenta down. Fans rally up, “NA-I-TO!” but Kenta lunges and forearms back. Naito throws another forearm, but Kenta throws it back. Naito throws a forearm, both men grin and Kenta throws another.

Naito forearms, Kenta forearms, and fans rally as they keep going back and forth, harder and harder! Naito, Kenta, repeat, faster and faster! Naito eggs Kenta on but Kenta keeps giving shots! Naito ROCKS Kenta, fires off a flurry, but Kenta CROSS COUNTERS! And SLAPS, SLAPS, and SLAPS away! Kenta fires up but Naito ENZIGURIS! Naito whips, Kenta reverses but Naito FLYING FOREARMS! Naito gets Kenta up, tilt-o-whirl, but CRADLE! TWO!!! Naito survives, but Kenta hurries to bump Naito off the bare buckles! Roll-up, TWO!!! BUSAIKU KNEE!! Cover, TWO!!! Naito survives again and no one can believe it!

Kenta roars and he drags a bloodied Naito up! Fireman’s carry, GO TO- NO, Naito blocks to scoop, VALENTIA!! Naito roars and fans fire up with him! Naito drags Kenta up, wrenches and tilt-o-whirls, DESTINO!!! Cover, Naito wins!!!

Winner: Tetsuya Naito, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Kenta earns 0)

With five minutes to spare, Naito strikes Kenta down and out! The Fang Revived is eliminated from the running, having lost to Naito, Evil and Zack Sabre Jr. Will Kenta have to settle for being a spoiler from now on?

As for Naito, he catches his breath, puts on his baseball cap, and says, “Buenas noches, Hiroshima~! Is everyone enjoying the heat of NJPW’s first summer G1 in 3 years?” Fans applaud, because they are! Naito says he’s delighted to be here in his home of Hiroshima, “and to show you what it looks like when I win in the main event. I want to thank you fans for supporting LIJ and myself from the bottom of my heart. Gracias, amigos!” Naito notes he was two down but has won three straight, and this win has him tied in the “pennant hunt.” But he knows it won’t be easy, “it’s a real bottom-of-the-ninth scenario. But I’m swinging for the fences.”

Naito hopes everyone looks forward to how this G1 Climax plays out. “Let’s end this as usual. Unfortunately, due to COVID, you’re unable to cheer out loud with me today, but please, yell out in your hearts. Everyone, are you ready? Let’s close out night one of two G1 shows here in Hiroshima the only right way. Bushi! Sanada! Hiromu! Takagi! Y Naito! Nosotros, LOS INGOBERRRRRNABLEEEES~! DE! JA! PON!” Another great roll call, and Naito rolls on in the G1! But just as he said, he has to win it in the end! Will he have a walk-off or a strikeout to close out the tournament?

 

Here are the NEW standings!

A Block

  • Lance Archer: 3-2, 6 points
  • JONAH: 3-2, 6 points
  • Kazuchika Okada: 3-1, 6 points
  • Jeff Cobb: 2-2, 4 points
  • Tom Lawlor: 2-2, 4 points
  • Bad Luck Fale: 2-3, 4 points
  • Toru Yano: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

B Block

  • Jay White: 4-0, 8 points
  • Tama Tonga: 3-1, 6 points
  • SANADA: 3-2, 6 points
  • Taichi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Chase Owens: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Great-O-Khan: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Tomohiro Ishii: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

C Block

  • Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-1, 6 points
  • Zack Sabre Jr: 3-1, 6 points
  • Tetsuya Naito: 3-2, 6 points
  • Hirooki Goto: 2-2, 4 points
  • EVIL: 2-2, 4 points
  • KENTA: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]
  • Aaron Henare: 1-4, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

D Block

  • David Finlay: 3-1, 6 points
  • Yujiro Takahashi: 3-2, 6 points
  • Shingo Takagi: 2-2, 4 points
  • Will Ospreay: 2-2, 4 points
  • YOSHI-HASHI: 2-2, 4 points
  • Juice Robinson: 2-3, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
  • El Phantasmo: 1-3, 2 points [ELIMINATED]

My Thoughts:

Another great event for the G1, with matches that all mattered this time around. Hashi VS Yujiro was the most fired up fans got for a Yujiro match because they were fired up for Hashi. I suppose it’s okay that Yujiro won here, he is the one guy who beat Finlay so far, so if Finlay falls even once in the last two rounds, Tokyo Pimp could take the D Block. Sanada VS Chase was a very good match, and it was the right move for Sanada to win, but they also did it in a great way to benefit Chase. Chase passes out to the Skull End rather than tapping out, a la Stone Cold to the Sharpshooter, and that is a great honor for him. I bet there are big things for Chase on the other side of this G1.

Tama VS Taichi was also great, with a very clever story of Taichi trying to push Tama into being a Heel again. Both men have yet to face Jay White, those matches will have a big impact on who takes B Block, but they both have to take on Great-O-Khan at some point. Tama VS White is on 8/16, I would think both men go into that with momentum, but that means Tama has to beat Khan during tomorrow’s event. Jonah VS Archer was huge, just like Jonah VS Okada, mostly for how it shapes the A Block. Jonah may have lost, but he’s only lost by count-out in the G1, and that is a huge implication. It means no one can put him down in the ring. If Archer can’t beat Okada on 8/16 and Jonah beats Fale, Jonah can still take this block and make a huge impact on the semifinals.

And of course, Naito VS Kenta was great stuff, especially with every match now having Naito on the bubble. Naito wins, Kenta is out, and now Naito has the entire week to rest up and prepare for Zack Sabre Jr. ZSJ beat Naito last year to open the G1, and Naito got hurt, so that you can basically say ZSJ cost Naito all those opportunities last year. Naito will want revenge, ZSJ could still be leading the block after beating Evil tomorrow, and then it all comes down to it on 8/16. The winner of Naito VS ZSJ will be your C Block semifinalist, unless Tanahashi wins against Goto AND Kenta before then. But given the drama, I feel like Tanahashi loses to one of those guys, putting all eyes on Naito VS ZSJ.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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