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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (12/25/17)

Published

6 years ago

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • John Cena VS Elias; Cena wins.
  • THE Brian Kendrick w/ Jack Gallagher VS Hideo Itami; Itami wins.
  • Six Woman Tag: Absolution VS Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James; Absolution wins.
  • Kane VS Heath Slater w/ Rhyno; Kane wins.
  • Curt Hawkins VS Finn Balor; Finn wins.
  • Six Man Tag Miracle on 34th Street Fight: The ‘Zo Train VS Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali & Akira Tozawa; Alexander, Ali & Tozawa win.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Roman Reigns VS Samoa Joe; Joe wins by disqualification, Reigns retains.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: The Miztourage VS Braun Strowman; Strowman wins.
  • WWE Raw Tag Team Championships: The Bar VS Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan; Rollins & Jordan win and become the new Raw Tag Team Champions.

PLAY BY PLAY

JOHN CENA is in Chicago!

He enjoys the “Christmas carol” only the WWE Universe can give him as he heads to the ring. And he realizes something is wrong with this picture, so he heads back out of the ring. A fan is wearing the wrong shirt and hat, so Cena gives them his as a present.

“And on that note, Merry Christmas, Chicago!” The fans echo that sentiment by chanting “Merry Christmas!” The first broadcast on Christmas, the first time that chant has been said. Cena loves the holidays because they’re about togetherness. He always lets everyone know the WWE is his home, and the fans are his family. They’ve had ups and downs, but he still gives a cheer to everyone being together. Cena wanted to be right here, right now to- Wait, The Drifter interrupts.

“Hello, I am Elias.” He plays his guitar all the way down to the ring, then asks John Cena if he even knows what “WWE” stands for. It’s “Walk With Elias.” Elias therefore asks Chicago, “Who wants to walk with Elias?!” Some fans do, actually. Cena figures he might as well. That’s a smart decision, because for months, Elias has been interrupted and has had enough. Elias decided to interrupt someone else for once–pausing for the Chicago fans chanting “CM Punk!” and then saying that’s one man who definitely isn’t interrupting him–but Cena says it’s all good. Have some fun over the holidays. The fans continue their chant. Elias doesn’t care how much they chant, he’ll still perform. Cena asks that if Elias is performing- No, Elias doesn’t want to hear him out. He even puts a finger on Cena’s lips to shush him. Cena fetches Elias his stool, and lets him begin, spotlight and all. “Right now I need everyone to silence their cellphones, hold their applause and shut their mouths”, for Elias’ Christmas song. Fans still chant “CM Punk!” Elias blames Cena. “Well it’s Christmas time, Chicago. This is Christmas, today. I couldn’t imagine a worse place to spend my holiday~.” No, no! Cena stops Elias and this concert. Cena was giving Elias a chance, but Elias went and insulted Chicago. This isn’t a bad place, just look at all the people! Look at how excited they all are! Elias plays okay, but he always insults the audience! Elias speaks the truth. No you don’t. The fans aren’t jerks, Elias is the jerk.

The Drifter never saw it that way. And, it is Christmas. Maybe Cena’s right, maybe Elias is a jerk. Elias would like a second chance from Chicago. Chicago doesn’t seem willing to give that second chance. But, it is Christmas, so Cena is willing to. Elias starts again, “Well it’s Christmas time, Chicago. This is Christmas day. I can’t imagine a better place to spend my holiday~!” Cena, join in. “Have yourself, a merry little–” Sucker punch from Elias! “I don’t play for you, I don’t play for you, Christmas is overrated and so is Chicago.” Elias takes his mic out, but then gets an idea. He goes after Cena again! Elias stomps Cena out, then takes Cena’s mic and says he’s giving himself a gift: challenging Cena to a match to start off Raw!

John Cena VS Elias!

Christmas Raw is already off to a raucous start, the match is made official, Elias goes at Cena at the bell. He rains down rights and then stomps away, big elbow drop as well. Elias puts Cena in a corner for body shots and trash talk, then a right hand decks the 16 time world champion again. Fans duel with chants while Cena fights back. He whips Elias, hip toss and takeover, Cena gains control. Elias gets up, stomps on Cena’s foot before knocking him down with a right forearm. Cena gets to the apron, Elias goes out to drag him out and ram him against the apron edge. Elias then backs up, takes aim, and rams a knee right into Cena’s head. Cena tumbles down to the floor, Elias stalks him then brings him up by his jaw. Elias chops Cena against the barrier then puts him in the ring, cover, TWO. Elias keeps focus, he scoops and slams Cena at the ropes. Another cover, TWO. The fans are still rowdy, but some get on Elias’ side as he throws Cena again. Cover, TWO, Elias keeps his cool. Fans want “One more time!” so Elias rocks Cena with a forearm before placing Cena in the Tree of Woe. Elias stomps Cena in the ribs, fans duel with “Let’s go Cena!” “CM Punk!” while Elias climbs up and drags Cena up, draping double stomps!

TWO, and now Elias is getting frustrated. He puts Cena in an armlock, fans rally and Cena gets up. Cena fights back, whips Elias corner to corner, but Elias boots him down. Elias scoops Cena and puts him back in the Tree of Woe, for more shots to the ribs. Elias climbs up again, Cena resists, Cena dodges the stomps. Cena clotheslines Elias down, but falls down himself. The two recover as the fans rally, they get to their feet and brawl. Back and forth between Cena and Elias, Elias ducks to give a spin-out backbreaker to Cena, cover, TWO! Cena and Elias stir, but Elias is first to stand up. Elias decks Cena with another right, then trash talks as Cena climbs back up. Cena falls to another right hand, but he keeps moving. Elias gives Cena more strikes in a corner, stomping a mudhole into Cena. Elias climbs up top again, and brings Cena up with him. Cena resists Elias’ plan to then get the fireman’s carry. Elias gets the electric chair position, spin around for the sit-out powerbomb! TWO! Cena rolls out of the ring while Elias is frustrated in the center of the ring. The referee counts and Elias is willing to wait. The count reaches 8 when Cena gets in, Elias covers, TWO. Elias puts Cena in a chinlock to grind Cena down, even rolling Cena to add weight and pressure on him. Cena endures and wills himself to his feet. He powers his way out of Elias’ grip, Elias kicks low but Cena gets moving. Cena rallies with his signature shoulder tackles. Elias bails out, knowing what comes next, so Cena fetches him back into the ring, only for Elias to run him over with a lariat! Cover, TWO! Elias grabs Cena, backbreaker, TWO. Frustration grows as Elias looms over Cena. Cena stands up, Elias gives him another backbreaker, TWO. Elias toys with Cena now, then lifts him for another backbreaker, but Cena reverses into the STF! He reaches, endures, so Cena drags him away from ropes! Elias shoves Cena away, then strikes with a knee, knocking Cena down. Cena rolls out before Elias can cover, then climbs back up. Elias goes after Cena while the fans duel again, throwing right hand after right hand. Cena shoulders in, slingshots over, and rolls Elias into the STF! Elias endures, reaches for ropes, drags himself over, and gets the ropebreak. Cena lets go, brings Elias up for a whip, Elias reverses, and hits Cross Rhodes! TWO! Elias reaches a boiling point, as he is running out of ideas. He drops a big elbow on Cena just because, then searches for another idea. He gives another elbow, then stands over Cena to boast already. Cena gets him in a sunset flip, TWO, they get moving, Cena gets rallying. Spin-out bomb, and we know what that means: “You can’t see me!”

Five-Knuckle Shuffle! Then the fireman’s carry, the Attitude Adjustment! Cena wins on Christmas!

 

Raw takes a look at Samoa Joe’s path of destruction.

Since showing up on the main roster, he has been unimpressed by those he has targeted. From “that silly bastard, Jason Jordan”, to the “your so-called Architect, Seth Rollins”, to the “human cockroack, Dean Ambrose”, Samoa Joe shows no mercy and no respect. He kept The Shield from regaining the Raw Tag Team Championships, and even injured The Lunatic Fringe’s elbow. Most of all, Joe is not impressed with “a man who I have put to sleep time after time”, The Big Dog, Roman Reigns. Joe has put them out, and “there is nothing you can do about it.” Will The Destroyer’s worlds hold true in 2018?

 

Kurt Angle puts the finishing touches on his Christmas tree.

His Gold-Blooded Son visits him, as does Seth Rollins. Rollins cuts to the chase, he wants after Samoa Joe tonight, after what happened to Dean Ambrose. Jason Jordan feels bad for Ambrose, but he’s been patiently waiting for his shot at Joe. Patiently? Jordan has been anything but patient. Angle reminds them it is Christmas. They both want Joe, but The Bar interferes. To get at Joe, take care of Sheamus & Cesaro first. Is Angle really suggesting Rollins & Jordan team up? No, not after last week. Jordan wasn’t the one who got his head kicked in and pinned in that match. Besides, Jordan already did tag teams, he was hoping to focus on his singles career. He doesn’t want to be going backwards. How is teaming with Seth Rollins going backwards? Angle loves the intensity, and knows that when they find a way to work together, they’ll be unstoppable. And figure it out soon, because that match is happening, tonight on Christmas, for the Raw Tag Team Championships. Jordan and Rollins accept this Christmas present, can they pull it together to get revenge and gold? Oh, and look who has returned: Roman Reigns! Samoa Joe is all yours, Big Dog. And by the way, it is for the championship. Roman wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

THE Brian Kendrick w/ Jack Gallagher VS Hideo Itami!

The Man with a Plan and his Ungentlemanly Ally wish to “welcome” the newest member to the Cruiserweight Division, but all this “excitement” surrounding the man “who strikes his opponent so hard, they feel it for weeks” sounds too good to be true. Can the former Cruiserweight Champion show Itami is “just a passing fad”?

The bell rings, Itami and Kendrick circle and tie up. Kendrick clubs away on Itami but Itami merely fires up from those strikes. Itami fires forearms of his own, then a European Uppercut, Itami whips and runs Kendrick down with a kitchen sink knee. He keeps up the attack by kicking Kendrick in the back over and over, then drags him up for a scoop slam and another kick. “Respect me!” Itami shouts. Gallagher distracts him on the apron, Kendrick attacks with a calf kick! Cover, TWO, Kendrick clubs away on Itami with crossface punches. Kendrick lets up to bring Itami up for chops, then a corner to corner whip. Itami hits buckles, Kendrick grinds his shoe into Itami’s face. Kendrick brings Itami up, butterfly suplex, cover, TWO. Kendrick keeps Itami grounded with a headlock that he shifts into a straitjacket stretch. Itami endures, fights his way out, but Kendrick uses a cravat to drive Itami’s face into a buckle. Kendrick runs at Itami, Itami boots him away, then again. Itami hops up, tornado hotshot! Then, Itami climbs up for the flying clothesline! Fans like that, and Itami rallies on Kendrick with clotheslines and kicks. Fisherman Suplex throws Kendrick, fans fire up with Itami as he brings Kendrick up again, Itami gives strike after strike, then corner to corner for a skateboard dropkick!

The knee pad comes down, Itami calls for the finish. He brings Kendrick up into the fireman’s carry, Go To Sleep! Itami wins on Christmas! Itami wants respect, will he beat it out of the other Cruiserweights?

 

Raw looks back on Stephanie McMahon’s historic announcement.

The Raw Commissioner is proud of the Women’s Revolution in the WWE and how it has grown over the last three years. From changing Divas back into Women Wrestlers and Superstasr, to the first Women’s Hell in a Cell, first Miss Money in the Bank Ladder Match and even the first women’s wrestling match ever in Abu Dhabi, the women of the WWE put the “evolution” in revolution. “But that’s not enough!” January 28th, the Road to Wrestlemania starts with not just the Royal Rumble, but a Women’s Royal Rumble! No one can believe it, but everyone is excited for it. Who will be the winner of the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble and stamp their name on the Wrestlemania match card?

 

Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James encounter The Miztourage backstage.

“Merry Mizmas, ladies.” Everyone is sad that Miz is gone, making a movie, so Bo Dallas & Curt Axel took it upon themselves to spread some “Mizmas Cheer”! With caroling! “Joy~ to the world~, Miz is Awesome! Let Miz step in his ring! We miss the Miz a lot~, we hope he returns soon~! Bo Dallas & Axel sing~, Bo Dallas & Axel sing~, Bo DALLAS, Bo Dallas~ & Curt Axel sing~…!” Speechless. The ladies leave to prepare for their match, will this be a truly Merry Mizmas?

 

Six Woman Tag: Absolution VS Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James!

Christmas, Mizmas or whatever, the women of Raw still want to establish strength and momentum within the Division as well as on the road to the first ever Women’s Royal Rumble match.

The bell rings, and it is The Boss and The Glampire starting for their teams. Paige plays with Sasha as she dodges her and mocks her team. Paige tries again, but Sasha catches her by her hair, Paige forearms Sasha in the jaw then tags out to the Golden Mandy Rose. Mandy swings, Sasha gets a waistlock, roll up, TWO. Sasha keeps moving, speeds things up, but Mandy poses too much so Sasha dropkicks her down. Sasha mocks the posing, then knocks Mandy down again. She brings Mandy up for an arm wrench, then tags in the veteran, Mickie James. Mickie goes up, ax handle onto Mandy’s arm. Mickie rams shoulders into Mandy, brings her down, leg drop on the arm and a cover, TWO. Fans sing to Bayley while Mickie wrenches Mandy’s arm again, Mandy drives in a knee. Mandy runs, misses Mickie, Mickie gets her with kicks and a running forearm. Cover, TWO, so Mickie tags Bayley. The Huggable One follows Mickie’s lead, running low boot to sliding lariat, cover, TWO. Bayley keeps on Mandy but Mandy rocks her with a right. Mandy tags in Sonya Deville, who puts Bayley in a waistlock, then throws Bayley to the mat. Sonya throws Bayley some more, then kicks her around toyingly. Bayley catches one of those kicks and powers Sonya to her corner, tag to Sasha. The best friends double suplex Sonya over, ONE, Sasha runs for a double knee drop. ONE again, Sasha grabs Sonya’s foot just as Sonya gets the ropebreak. The referee backs Sasha down, Mandy tries a sneak attack while Sasha is distracted but fails. Sasha goes out to pursue Sonya, Sonya decks her with a clobbering right clothesline!

Sonya enjoys her handiwork from within the ring, Bayley and Mickie try to coach Sasha into the match while the ref counts. Sasha beats the count but Sonya is right on her again. Tag to Paige, Sonya holds Sasha in place for Paige’s corner Shining Wizard. Paige adds a mudhole stomp onto Sasha, then she roars at Bayley and Mickie. Tag to Mandy, she lifts Sasha up for forearms. Mandy embraces the heat before choking Sasha on the ropes. She wrings Sasha’s arm then puts Sasha in a modified stretch, fans and teammates rally for The Boss. Sasha rolls it to a pin, TWO, Mandy keeps Sasha back by mere inches. Mandy drags Sasha back towards Absolution territory then drops an elbow, cover, TWO! Tag to Sonya, she and Mandy mug Sasha. Fans cheer Sasha on even as she takes a sliding knee, cover, TWO. Sonya puts Sasha in a bodyscissors. Sasha endures the squeeze and the occasional chinlock, fans and teammates rally for her. She gets up with Sonya on her back and powers her to a neutral corner, only for Sonya to yank her down by her hair. Tag to Paige, Absolution has Sasha isolated as Paige stands on Sasha’s hair and pulls on her arms. Paige pretends she didn’t see the hair, then shifts to a chinlock. Fans rally again, Paige mocks it as she thrashes Sasha around. Even so, Sasha stands up and fights back, but Paige runs her over with a lariat. Cover, TWO, Paige drags Sasha over to tag Mandy. Mandy takes the hand-off, she whips Sasha and hits a big knee strike! Cover, TWO, Mandy is frustrated. She keeps on Sasha, returning to that modified stretch. Fans keep up the rallying, Sasha pries her way out, and arm-drags Mandy away. Sasha runs for her corner but Mandy intercepts to then throw Sasha away. Mandy knocks Mickie down with a cheap shot, and while the referee keeps Bayley and Mickie back, Mandy goes back to Sasha. Mandy goes to throw Sasha into Absolution’s corner, but Sasha reverses to throw Mandy into Paige! They tumble down, Sonya checks on them, Sasha crawls her way over to tag in Bayley! Bayley rallies on Paige, jumping takedown to hammering fists. Saido suplex then shoulders in a corner, Bayley is fired up. Wacky waving elbow misses, but Bayley knocks Sonya off the apron. Paige scurries to her corner and bumps Bayley off buckles, but runs into the Bayley2Belly! Cover, but Absolution saves its leader by dragging her out of the ring. Bayley pursues, her team comes over, it is a chaotic brawl!

Mandy and Sonya go into the barrier, Bayley gives Paige a hotshot. Bayley climbs up top, fans fire up, but Paige kicks out her legs. Paige drags Bayley over, RamPaige! Absolution wins on Christmas! If they continue to use numbers so perfectly, can Absolution ensure one of their members is the first Women’s Rumble winner?

 

Backstage interview with Samoa Joe.

The Destroyer showed no remorse when he damaged Dean Ambrose’s arm, an injury which sidelines Ambrose for roughly nine months. And he admits to it here tonight. Ambrose can now be home with those he loves enjoying the holidays. And now, Joe gets his Intercontinental Championship opportunity, which he will take full advantage of. Joe has “systematically” going after the Shield. Ambrose is on the shelf, Roman wants vengeance, but he won’t get it. Joe will “own” Roman and put him to sleep so that he will wake up to a nightmare reality where Joe will be the new Intercontinental Champion.

 

Kane VS Heath Slater w/ Rhyno!

The Big Red Machine is one third of a truly monstrous Universal Championship Triple Threat match at the Royal Rumble, as there was no clear choice between him and the Monster Among Men. As for Christmas night, he looks to bring hellfire and brimstone to the One Man Band who right now, is just hoping to make it home to see his kids. In order to keep Slater on Raw, Rhyno plans to toughen him up, but isn’t this a little too much for step one?

The bell rings, Slater and Kane tie up. Kane shoves Slater to a corner but Slater elbows out and slips away. Rhyno wants Slater to bring the fight to Kane, but that’s easier said than done. Kane brings the fight to Slater instead with heavy shots in another corner. Fans chant to remind Kane, “Heath’s got kids!” Kane doesn’t care, he squashes Slater in a corner with a big clothesline. Then he flattens Slater with a sidewalk slam.

Kane kicks Slater out of the ring, literally, but Rhyno has faith in Slater. Slater doesn’t really have the same level of confidence, but he tries again. He gets in the ring, Slater shoves him right back out! Rhyno coaches Slater back up and in, Slater still doubts himself. The fans cheer for Slater and his kids, Rhyno fires Slater up, Kane drags Slater up but Slater hotshots him away! Slater throws wild hands, Kane shoves him, Slater hits a big knee. Kane stays up, and uppercuts Slater down. Then he finishes it, with a Choke Slam! Kane wins, and Rhyno may have to rethink his toughening-up strategy. However, Rhyno forgets about his own safety, Kane returns to grab him around the throat! Rhyno fights back with haymakers and a whip for a big shoulder into a corner. Fans chant “E C Dub!” for the Manbeast, Rhyno takes aim and… No Gore, just another CHOKE SLAM!

Kane ruined Christmas for the Slater family, but can he make his own New Year’s bright with a win over both Beast and Braun?

 

Curt Hawkins is on Raw!

Normally, Hawkins would be telling the WWE Universe to #FacttheFacts, but considering his 146 loss streak, he needs to face facts. He’ll be the first to admit that 2017 has been rather unkind to him, “but~” 2017 isn’t over yet! Hawkins feels a Christmas Miracle in Chicago, and grants an open challenge! Come down the chimney, step into the room, and take the two lumps of coal Hawkins has waiting for you, to finally break Hawkins’ losing streak. And who answers the challenge? Why, it’s the Extraordinary Man!

Curt Hawkins VS Finn Balor!

The inaugural Universal Champion probably wasn’t on Hawkins’ wishlist but he’s here to get himself some Christmas cheer in Chicago.

The bell rings, Hawkins takes the fight to Finn! Hawkins is determined to end his streak as he whips Finn corner to corner, but Finn boots back and rallies on Hawkins, “Too Sweet” running chop in the corner. Finn whips Hawkins corner to corner but Hawkins rolls Finn, TWO! Hawkins keeps moving, tries another roll up, TWO. Hawkins kicks out Finn’s leg, then Mahistrol, TWO. He is frustrated, Finn trips him and stomps on him! The fans fire up for Finn as he hits a Slingblade, then blasts Hawkins with a dropkick. Hawkins is down in position, Finn climbs up top, Coup de Grace! Finn wins, Hawkins now stands at 147 losses in a row. Can Finn find his way back to gold? Will Hawkins ever win again?

 

The Miztourage finds Goldust backstage.

Looks like someone needs some #MizmasCheer! They can guess what he wants: a carol! “You’re~ career has lost some speed~, falalala la, lala la la. But~ we know just what you need~, falalala la, lala la la. This will help improve your luster, falala, lalala, la la la. Here’s a Miz Christmas heart-buster, falalala la, lala la la! Fala lala la~, lala, la~, LAAA~!” Again, speechless. Santa’s Little Helper, starring The Miz (and Paige). Merry Mizmas! Titus Worldwide walks through, Goldust passes the DVD off on them.

 

Bray Wyatt speaks on Christmas.

“She always hated this time of year.” Sister Abigail hated the idea of superficial presents and pagan rituals could bring joy and happiness. Abigail loathed it because it reminded her of someone like Matt Hardy. “Your words only perpetuate this sickness.” He gives the people something to believe in, and they think they’re fighting side by side with him. In reality, Hardy is only using them for his own personal gain. Look around you, “Woken Warriors”. What do you see? The darkness! Bray’s Fireflies! And her. “Chicago, I’m here.”

Bray Wyatt heads to the ring.

And is attacked by WOKEN Matt Hardy! Hardy throws hands and elbows at Bray as the fans go wild with “DELETE!” chants. Bray shoves Hardy away, Hardy dodges the punch, but Bray narrowly escapes the Twist of Fate. Bray is furious but Hardy is delighted. Hardy points to Bray, and with the fans echoing him, declares to “DELETE!”

“Yeeee-e-e-s~!” Hardy laughs at Bray as the Eater of Worlds paces on the stage, when will he finally DELETE him?!

 

The Bar complains about defending their Raw Tag Team Championships.

For starters, they’re having to do it on Christmas! Cesaro thought Angle might be more reasonable and appreciative of them. Sheamus assures Cesaro he does appreciate the Swiss Cyborg. Which is why he got Cesaro a present! Open the card first. “May we always raise a glass to Christmas and to our Friendship. We don’t just set the bar, we ARE The Bar!” Now open the gift itself. Cesaro does, and inside… is a Dean Ambrose action figure, with a missing arm! A super-rare and brand new release. Cesaro has something for Sheamus, too! Sheamus opens the box, and inside… A Seth Rollins! Sheamus can’t wait to break this one and the real Rollins tonight. But there’s more. There is? It’s… a Jason Jordan? Sheamus doesn’t want a Jason Jordan. Well neither does Rollins, but he’s his tag team partner. And Angle doesn’t want him as his son, either! The Bar shares a laugh and a hug, will they still be sharing those tag team championships by the end of the night?

 

Six Man Tag Miracle on 34th Street Fight: The ‘Zo Train VS Cedric Alexander, Mustafa Ali & Akira Tozawa!

The Certified G is now a Bonafide Santa Claus, and he has his elves, Drew “Sugarplum” Gulak and “Feliz NaviDaivari”, in tow as he spreads Christmas joy to their opponents. The Carolina Kid has nothing but coal, not to be confused with Michael Cole. Alexander wished for but didn’t get the Cruiserweight Championship, but in the Christmas spirit, it is time for a Very Merry beatdown!

Ariya Daivari starts against Cedric Alexander, and as they circle, Enzo distracts Alexander with trash talk. Daivari pounces, throwing his jingle-bell elf hat at Alexander before punching away in a corner. Daivari whips ALexander corner to corner but Alexander goes up and over to handspring headscissor Daivari out. Gulak rushes in but gets a dropkick that sends him out, then Enzo is scared away. The Stamina Monster Tozawa comes in and starts up the “AH! AH!” chants, before building speed to launch the Tozawa Torpedo at Daivari while Pakistani Prince Ali jumps on Gulak from the top rope! The synchronized attacks take out The ‘Zo Train and we go to break.

Raw returns, The ‘Zo Train has since taken control, Gulak throwing presents into the ring while Daivari keeps Tozawa on the defensive. Daivari scoop slams Tozawa right onto a gift box, covers, TWO. Daivari tags Enzo, Enzo sets up a tree in a corner to whip Tozawa right into it, ornaments and all. Cover, TWO, Enzo keeps on Tozawa with a chinlock. Alexander and Ali get the fans rallying with “AH! AH!” but Enzo yanks Tozawa back to the mat. Enzo prepares the pitch, and gives the fastball to Alexander!

But that allows Tozawa to get up and hit Enzo with a spinning roundhouse! Enzo and Tozawa crawl for their corners, hot tags to Ali and Daivari! Hometown boy Ali rallies on The ‘Zo Train, whip reversed but Ali flapjack dropkicks Daivari down. He whips Daivari again but is reversed, Ali slips out to the apron to roundhouse Daivari down. Ali takes aim, rolls, facebuster! He puts Daivari in position, climbs up top, 0-5-4!! Gulak breaks the pin with the cookie sheet, Tozawa comes in to SMACK Gulak with the other cookie sheet! Gulak goes out, Enzo returns, but so does Alexander. Ali and Daivari crawl, hot tag to Alexander while Enzo fetches a candy kendo stick! Enzo hesitates, Alexander blocks and takes the stick for his own. Enzo begs for mercy, but Alexander sees Gulak coming! Alexander dodges and sends the elf into Santa Amore! Then SMACK with the kendo stick! Another SMACK sends Gulak out, but Daivari returns for the roll-up, TWO! Lumbar Check! Alexander and team win on Christmas! Can the #1 Contender carry this momentum into the New Year when he faces Enzo Amore for the Cruiserweight Championship?

 

Enzo Amore encounters Nia Jax backstage.

“How you doin’?” Nia’s good, but probably better than Enzo. Merry Christmas. Yes, but a rather rough one. Oh, is that mistletoe overhead?

Everyone knows what that means. The fans anticipate it, but as Enzo comes in, Alexa Bliss interrupts. The Goddess needs to talk to her BFF and the first ever Women’s Rumble! The moment has passed, Nia has to go. Will the Certified G ever catch a break?

 

Backstage interview with Roman Reigns.

The Big Dog heard Joe’s words earlier, and “couldn’t care less.” Roman is the champion, and won’t leave Chicago without the title. This isn’t just for him, this is for Ambrose. Roman is going to send a message: You hurt one of his brothers, he will hurt you.

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Roman Reigns VS Samoa Joe!

The Big Dog seeks revenge but the Destroyer promises only pain for this match, who will be the one going home with a golden gift for Christmas?

The bell rings and the two go right at each other! Roman runs Joe over with a clothesline then throws hands to back him down into a corner. Roman keeps up the attack, Joe endures then fires back with his sharp jabs. Joe has Roman in a corner now and gives him a sharp elbow, Roman staggers out to respond with an uppercut.

Roman brings Joe up, Joe jabs again. Roman pushes Joe into ropes, catching him in the throat. Joe lingers on the apron, Roman goes outside to hit the Drive-By Dropkick! Roman gets back inside, the referee checks on Joe, Joe fires back with jabs and chops. Joe staggers while fans duel, “Let’s go, Roman!” “Roman sucks!” Joe bumps Roman off a buckle, then brings him in for a back suplex. Cover, TWO, Joe keeps his cool. Roman climbs to his feet, Joe puts him back in a corner. Joe jabs away again, the referee backs him off a moment, Joe comes back with a headbutt and haymakers. He doesn’t let up, he whips Roman to ropes but Roman ducks. Roman clotheslines Joe down, then gives Joe close-range clotheslines in a corner. The Big Dog hits all ten, then runs to boot Joe down. Fans are thunderous on both sides as Roman goes to a corner. He locks and loads, takes aim, but Joe gets to ropes for safety. Roman storms over, Joe hits back with jabs. Joe jabs away again, the referee backs him off. Joe runs in for the back elbow and Pele! Cover, TWO, Joe starts showing frustration while we go to break.

Raw returns, Joe keeps Roman down. Joe slaps Roman, then slaps again, and then gives a headbutt. Joe runs, into a Samoan Drop! TWO, Roman is shocked. Roman refocuses and stands up before bringing Joe into powerbomb position. Joe is too big and strong, he back drops Roman up and over, but then Roman sunset flip counters, TWO! Joe gives Roman a forearm, Roman responds with an uppercut, Joe gives knee strikes and a snap suplex. Back senton misses! Reload, SUPERMAN PUNCH! TWO! Roman is shocked again, fans are thunderous as both men get to their feet. Roman lets out the battle cry, runs in to Joe’s foot, yurinagi slam! TWO, now Joe is shocked. Joe also grows furious as he stalks Roman to the apron. He brings Roman up while fans duel again, Roman gives Joe a hotshot. Roman gets in while Joe staggers, Joe surprises Roman with a Coquina Clutch! Joe only has the sleeper hold, Roman reaches for ropes, Joe brings Roman down for the full clutch! Roman endures, reaches, fades, Jo goes for a higher bodyscissors to block the reaching arm! Roman pries his arm free, and gets the ropebreak.

Joe has to let go, but he is right on Roman as he shove shim out to DIVE! Roman collides with barriers and clutches his arm. Joe drags Roman up by that bad arm, and swings him into a post. Things return inside the ring, Joe stalks Roman and puts on an armlock to the bad arm. Fans are thunderous again as Roman endures the torture. Roman gets up and headbutts Joe then gives big elbows. Roman backs Joe down, the referee backs Roman down, Roman won’t stop. The referee disqualifies Roman! Joe wins, but Roman retains. Fans dislike the ending, but Roman gives Joe a SUPERMAN PUNCH. The Big Dog won’t leave Joe alone just yet, he goes outside to pursue Joe, FLYING punch off the steel steps. Roman then throws Joe into the post, banging up Joe’s right arm, the same as Joe did to Ambrose. Roman shows no mercy, he throws Joe into another post to further damage that arm. He then takes the steel steps, fans like where this is going. Roman uses the steel steps as a battering ram into Joe’s bad arm!

The referee tries to protect Joe, but the fans chant “One more time!” Roman obliges, and hits Joe with the steps again! This isn’t over yet, Roman grabs a chair! He stalks Joe, and swings, but narrowly misses. The referees stop Roman at this, Joe gets away. Is this war between Big Dog and Destroyer far from over?

 

Seth Rollins likes what he sees from Roman.

That’s when Jason Jordan walks in. Rollins tells JJ if this is some kind of strategy meeting or pep talk, save it. Rollins is only doing this because he’s returning the favor to Angle for TLC, and for getting back at The Bar. They have differences, sure, but Rollins doesn’t care about that. Rollins cares about beating The Bar to become tag team champion, again. Jordan can’t go out there, lose, then brag about how he “hung with the top competition in WWE.” News flash, Jordan: everyone in the WWE is top competition. Follow Rollins– Jordan speaks up, saying that he is genuinely excited to have this match. Jordan doesn’t want anyone to get injured, but Jordan is a pretty good replacement for Ambrose. Rollins makes one thing clear for Jordan: as good as he thinks he is, he will never be Dean Ambrose. Right, he’ll be better. Tensions are still high, can Jordan and Rollins survive Cesaro & Sheamus?

 

The Miztourage is in the ring.

Bo Dallas & Curt Axel thank Chicago for having them, and are “super excited” that they’re getting a “Secret Santa” match! In other words, a mystery opponent. Chicago, join in on a special song! “Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way~! Oh what fun it is to ride in a one–” BRAUN!!

2v1 Handicap Match: The Miztourage VS Braun Strowman!

Bo & Axel are probably wishing they could return this Secret Santa gift Angle just gave them.
The bell rings, Bo goes at the Monster Among men, and barely escapes the scoop slam before being clobbered by a clothesline. Axel wants no part of Strowman, Strowman throws Bo across the ring. Then Strowman makes Axel join the match, and throws him into Bo! Strowman powers Axel to one corner, goes corner to corner to crush Bo, and then give Bo the spiraling powerslam. Strowman wins on Christmas! Oh, and he’s not done, either. Strowman targets Axel, Chicago encourages him, so he gives Axel a powerslam! Chicago wants one more, Bo gets himself a second powerslam, and then Axel gets one, too!

Can the Monster keep up momentum going into a match against Beast and Big Red Machine?

 

Alexa Bliss comes to the ring.

The Goddess and Raw Women’s Champion wishes the WWE Universe a “Merry Blissmas”. She melted the coal from our stockings to instead give us a very special gift: herself. She knows the WWE Universe spends the holiday season “scarfing down cookies” and “listening to boring stories your families tell”. Alexa instead takes this time to reflect: 2017 is the Year of Bliss. She started the year as SmackDown Women’s Champion and will end the year as Raw Women’s Champion, having overcome every obstacle like a Jedi! Side note: she did it without the fans and she’ll still do it without the fans. Alexa shattered the glass ceiling, but the moment of the year was still the Women’s Rumble announcement. Alexa watched it over and over and still gets chills. To all the women in the WWE locker room and all the fans watching around the world, “You’re welcome.”

Every cheer, tear and moment is because of Alexa! “The gift that keeps on giving” vows she’ll watch closely to see who her opponent for Wrestlemania is. But wait, ASUKA appears!

The Empress of Tomorrow, who is still undefeated, walks right into the ring and grabs herself a mic. “I’m entering the Women’s Royal Rumble match. And I will win. Because, nobody is ready for Asuka!” Asuka then stares Alexa down with that sinister grin, fans know “Asuka’s gonna kill~ you!” And she hits Alexa with a lightning fast roundhouse! The Empress has called her shot, who will stop her from making history?

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship: The Bar VS Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan!

The Architect and the Gold-Blooded Son aren’t seeing eye to eye, do they stand a chance against the cohesive unit of Swiss Cyborg and Celtic Gladiator?

Sheamus and Jordan start with the bell, circle and tie up, matching in power. Jordan gets around for a waistlock and slam on Sheamus, rolling him to a pin, ONE. Sheamus powers his way to ropes, and gives a dirty break as he elbows Jordan. The ref backs Sheamus down, Cesaro gets the cheap shot. Sheamus keeps on Jordan, then tags Cesaro, double whip to Bar lariat but Jordan ducks and Rollins tags in. Jordan takes a double hip-toss, but Rollins hits a double crossbody!

Rollins clotheslines Sheamus out then Slingblades Cesaro down. He builds speed and DIVES on both members of The Bar! Rollins helps Jordan to his feet and gives him a pat on the shoulder as we go to break.

Raw returns once more, to find The Bar has regained control. Sheamus has Rollins in a keylock, but fans rally for The Architect. Rollins stands up, Sheamus keeps him back, Sheamus tags Cesaro and they whip Rollins to their corner. Super Saiyan kicks! Cover, TWO, Cesaro keeps Rollins grounded with a float-over into a chinlock. Rollins gets to his feet, Cesaro does his best to keep him back, sleeperhold backpack into a motorcycle stretch. Cesaro whips Rollins to The Bar’s corner, tag to Sheamus and Rollins is isolated again.

Sheamus puts Rollins into the Bodhrain and drums a few times, but stops to troll the fans. Rollins elbows and punches back, bringing Sheamus to his knees. Rollins hurries for his corner but Sheamus anchors a foot, so Rollins uses his free foot to kick at Sheamus. Sheamus still drags Rollins back and tags Cesaro, Cesaro gives a flying leg drop. TWO, but right back to the chinlock. Rollins feeds off the fans’ energy, he and Cesaro reach for tags but Cesaro is the one to get one. Sheamus comes in, double whip and Bar Lariat hits, cover, TWO. Sheamus keeps his cool as he drags Rollins up by his hair. He throws Rollins out of the ring, the referee keeps him from pursuing, so Cesaro gets a cheap shot. Jordan runs in and runs Cesaro over, Sheamus bails Cesaro out, and The Bar throws Jordan into barriers together! Rollins stirs but has no partner to tag, Sheamus grabs him by his nose. He whips Rollins at his corner, Rollins knocks Cesaro down, then spins out of the Irish Curse to hit a DDT! Both men down, no one to tag!

Cesaro returns, Jordan doesn’t. Tag made, corner European Uppercut feed into the Irish Curse, cover, TWO! Cesaro brings Rollins up onto ropes, the referee backs him off, allowing Sheamus to hit the cheap shot knee right to Rollins’ face. Cover, TWO! The Bar is frustrated, but they decide to go up. Tag to Sheamus, double whip and flapjack into EuroUpper! TWO! The Bar tags again, Cesaro runs but Rollins boots out, he fights against them both and then Jordan returns to run Sheamus over! Jordan gets himself to his corner, Cesaro returns while Rollins crawls. The fans rally, Cesaro grabs Rollins’ leg but gets shoved away, hot tags to Jordan and Sheamus! The Gold-Blooded Son rallies on The Bar, and then begins corner-to-corner carries on Sheamus back and forth! Jordan fires up, goes corner to corner for the shoulder tackle, then the overhead suplex!

Cover, TWO, but Jordan keeps focus. He grabs Sheamus again, Cesaro holds onto Sheamus to save him from a suplex, Jordan knocks him down. Sheamus rolls Jordan, TWO, big lariat runs Jordan over. Tag to Cesaro, Cesaro climbs up while Sheamus gives Jordan a backbreaker, Cesaro gives Jordan an elbow drop! TWO, but into the Sharpshooter! Jordan endures the legendary hold, Rollins returns and trips up Sheamus on the apron. Cesaro goes after Rollins and throws him out, small package from Jordan, TWO! Cesaro tackles Jordan and rains rights. Sheamus returns, tags in, then climbs up. Cesaro lifts Jordan, Doomsday Device! Springboard from Rollins, but Cesaro catches him! The referee stops counting while he takes notice of Rollins overwhelming Cesaro with hammer punches. Sheamus helps Cesaro out but Rollins fights The Bar alone. SUPERKICK for Cesaro, BROGUE for Rollins! Back to Jordan, Sheamus puts on the Cloverleaf! Jordan endures this submission now, drags himself to ropes, ropebreak! Sheamus lets go, but he coordinates with Cesaro. Tag, then they bring Jordan up, Rollins anchors Cesaro so only Sheamus gives Jordan the White Noise. Rollins leads Sheamus on a cat ‘n’ mouse game while Cesaro climbs down, Sheamus goes into the steel steps! Cesaro EuroUppers Rollins into the barriers! Cesaro hurries back itno the ring, Jordan hits the back suplex neckbreaker! Jordan & Rollins win! They are the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions!! The Gold-Blooded Son overcame doubters, he and The Architect are champions once more! Can winning truly heal all things?

 

My Thoughts:

The very first ever Christmas Raw was not as good as it could’ve been. It was still good, that’s for sure, but there was still something lacking given the occasion. John Cena returning for the holiday was nice, but his match with Elias left a bit to be desired for a commercial-free first hour in such a demanding city as Chicago. Cena wins because he’s Cena, and Elias did manage to look strong during the match, but they could’ve easily turned up the quality a bit for the sake of Christmas. Then most of what cam next felt like filler. The Six Woman Tag was the third time around for Absolution VS BayleySashaMickie, and once again Absolution comes out on top. Itami dispatches Kendrick in a squash, Kane decimates Slater as a moderate tie-in of Slater’s “toughen up” story, and Finn gets another win that doesn’t really mean anything. Though, I do suddenly want Hawkins to join The Great War as WOKEN Hawkins. If Hardy’s losing streak unlocked his WOKEN side, why can’t Hawkins approaching 150 losses in a row do the same?

Why did they make a No DQ match like a Street Fight into a Six Man Tag? At least, why was it a traditional tag? I would’ve preferred a Tornado Six Man No DQ match because it’s just more logical. The Cruiserweights are still doing well on Raw and next week’s New Year’s Raw will have the title match, but it still puts a lot of pressure on Tuesday’s 205 Live to propel things towards a Gulak-based finish that then leads to Gulak turning. The two championship matches were great, though. Roman retains to up the ante in aggression, which is always welcomed, and BIG surprise in Jordan and Rollins becoming tag champions together. This development might be good for Jordan and The Shield in the long run, as it can give rise to Ambrose turning on Rollins for being “replaced”, and then we get the Ambrose-Rollins match we thought we were getting before they reunited.

My Score: 8/10


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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/26/24)

It’s Draft Day!

Published

16 hours ago

on

April 26, 2024

By

And with the first overall pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects…

The WWE Draft returns for 2024, the first four rounds being right here on Friday Night SmackDown! With champions protected, who ends up where to challenge them?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo; Rey & Dragon win.
  • Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander; Bron wins.
  • WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton; No Contest.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes; Cody wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Kayla Braxton is with the Wise Man and says that here on night one of the Draft, there are already rumors circulating, including those about The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. Heyman will clarify these are not rumors regarding The Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns. These are facts! Ladies and gentlemen, Your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, has voluntarily withdrawn from eligibility for this year’s Draft. That is not a negative but a positive. Who built SmackDown since the Pandemic? Roman Reigns. Who is the biggest star in the entire industry? Roman Reigns. Why would Roman Reigns hog the number one draft pick spotlight when he won’t be returning in the immediate future?

Read into his words, Kayla, that is not what a real Tribal Chief would do. Instead now, the pressure is on Nick Aldis. Because if Roman Reigns isn’t the first draft pick, then who is? The first two picks make history in a brand new era. And Heyman doesn’t know about you, but he is intrigued. No Tribal Chief up for grabs, who gets their opportunity to shine in the spotlight?

 

SmackDown throws it to the NXT Performance Center.

Jackie Redmond says the emotion down here is palpable! There is excitement, hope, and a little bit of nerves. But for these NXT Superstars, tonight is the culmination of a lifetime of hard work, dedication, a little bit of luck and a whole lot of self-belief. It was just last year that the NEW WWE Tag Team Champion, Grayson Waller, was hoping his name would be called. And it is funny this is NXT, but time to buy a vowel, throw in an E! Who is next? We find out tonight! The draft pool is deep, who rises to the top of the list?

 

Corey Graves is in the ring.

Corey welcomes Cincinnati and all of us at home to night one of the 2024 WWE Draft. Understandably, the GMs have their hands full, so Corey will be moderating the contract signing for the WWE Championship match that takes place next Saturday for Backlash: France. Without further ado, it’s the #1 contender, The Phenomenal AJ Styles! Styles makes his entrance, taking a seat at the table on camera right. And now, the Undisputed WWE Champion, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! Cincy fires up and sings along, “WHOA~ OH~!” as Cody makes his entrance and gets his pyro before joining everyone in the ring.

Styles looks over the contract, absolutely tuning out the fans going wild for “CODY! CODY!” Styles then gets the mic to say before he signs, he doesn’t know if we realize that we’ve got two Georgia boys about to mix it up for the first time, and for the biggest prize in the game. Styles understands why they boo, but they gotta know that he doesn’t respect LA Knight, LA Knight got under his skin. He accepts that. But that’s why Styles lost at Mania. But what happened? Styles got his composure back and realized that he is Phenomenal. Styles BEAT Knight to earn the right to face Cody Rhodes at Backlash.

Now unlike Knight, Styles does respect Cody. They hadn’t crossed paths yet, but they’ve been down the same roads. They had to prove themselves outside of the WWE. And Styles is willing to believe that the same man who gave him advice a long time ago gave Cody the same advice, on how to stand on their own two feet and be the men they are today. That man was The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. The fans cheer for “DUSTY! DUSTY!” Styles learned a lot from Dusty. Styles gets a little emotional thinking about Dusty, he was a good man. Dusty taught Styles how to carry himself, and to carry the weight of a championship.

And Styles looks at this WWE Championship here. The weight of this isn’t just the leather and gold. And at Backlash, we see if Cody can carry it. Styles goes back to his table, signs the contract, and then hands it off to Corey. Corey brings that to Cody, and Cody picks up his mic. “So… Cincinnati…! Whadda we wanna talk about? Certainly, we can talk about respect. There is not a locker room on Earth that you’ll find where everyone in it, every single person, they all respect AJ Styles. Last week, I went on to say you are the modern day Excellence of Execution. I respect the roads that you have traveled down to get here, the parallel paths that perhaps you and I have.

“Mutual respect, much respect. But that respect goes by the wayside at Backlash. I can feel it in your words to a degree. You’ve been here before. And it seems you’re implying that I cannot carry the weight of that championship. Well, good thing the man who trained me not far from where I sit now used to tell me all the time, it’s not about winning the title, it’s about keeping it.” The fans cheer that. Cody says boy does he respect Styles’ familiarity with Cody’s last name. But when you put C O D Y in front of it on this paper, that means they’ve never touched before. That means Backlash is a level playing field.

That means no matter how Phenomenal Styles is, this isn’t a dream match for Cody. It’s a must-win! Cody signs while the fans cheer, and it is official! Cody even throws the pen to the crowd as a free souvenir. Cody then offers a handshake, and Styles says y’know what? It was a beautiful thing to see Cody #FInishTheStory and win the title. But it’s a shame that Cody’s title reign will end at Backlash. Styles still shakes Cody’s hand, and then walks away. Cody picks up the belt and holds it high, will he get to hold it high again in Lyon, France?

Triple H is here!

Just as Cody was on his way to the back, The Game makes his way out here! HHH raises Cody’s hand, then invites him over to the podium. HHH welcomes us to the first round of the 2024 WWE Draft. It is a night that changes the landscape of the WWE going into the future, and things are a bit different this year. As the GMs ponder their next steps, they have to understand it is about protecting the roster they have as it is making the roster they want. Meaning that when they use their picks, they have just as much of a chance gaining a superstar as they do losing one they already have.

HHH just felt that since champs are protected and Cody will be staying here on SmackDown, maybe Cody could help read the SmackDown picks and HHH can read the Raw picks. And since SmackDown goes first, Cody reads first. Cody takes the card to say that with the first pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… The E S T, Bianca Belair! The stongEST, fastEST, roughEST, toughEST stays on Friday nights! HHH reads that for the second pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, Raw selects… YEET! JEY USO! Monday nights will still have Main Event Jey Uso! And the fans “YEET!” Cody says for the third pick, SmackDown selects… NXT’s Carmelo Hayes!

The fans fire up as SmackDown manages to snag… HIM! The former NXT Champion makes history again by being the first NXT superstar to be chosen this high in the Draft! HHH says that’s a hell of a pick. But then the fourth and final pick of this first round, Raw selects… SETH! FREAKIN’! ROLLINS! It is still going to be Monday Night Rollins as the Visionary stays on the red brand! Cody and HHH shake hands, and then Melo makes his way out! Melo has the mic to say when they talk about who’s next up, about who’s the hottest out, they don’t call them “the hottest out,” they just call him “Carmelo Hayes.”

The fans chant “WHOOP DAT TRICK!” to remind Melo how he’s leaving NXT. Melo says okay, okay. But then to Cody Rhodes, ever since Cody won the title, he’s been talking about “If you aim for the king, you best not miss.” Well, funny how that works. Because when Melo shoots, Melo don’t miss. And as a first round draft pick, what better way to shoot his shot on SmackDown than to shoot it right at Cody? Melo leaves the mic with Cody but Cody picks it up to say, “Fortune certainly favors the bold, but I dunno. You folks don’t wanna see me in action tonight, do ya?” The fans go wild! Oh, but what if Cody forgot his gear?

Oh that’s right! He didn’t forget his gear! And this title right here, for Cody, means absolutely 100%, Melo’s on! They shake on it, and we’re about to see a huge first-time-ever showdown! But will this bold first move work out for… HIM?

 

Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo!

The LWO is still not convinced Legado Del Fantasma had nothing to do with the beating that took the Boy Wonder out ahead of WrestleMania. Will the King of Lucha help get to the bottom of things? Or will Angel & “Berto” make it as easy as ABC, 1-2-3?

The teams sort out, Dragon runs up on Humberto but Humberto LARIATS him down! Humberto drags Dragon up, tears the shirt away and CHOPS! Humberto whips, Dragon ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! Humberto tumbles out, Dragon builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit and down goes Humberto! The fans fire up as Dragon pushes Humberto into the ring, goes up a corner, and then CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO! Dragon facelocks to drag Humberto up, but Humberto wrenches out to CLUB Dragon down. Humberto waistlocks but Dragon throws elbows. Angel tags in as Humberto shoves Dragon. Dragon ducks but Angel holds ropes open, and Dragon tumbles to the floor!

The fans boo and LWO hurries to check on Dragon! Angel & Humberto just soak up the heat as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both Dragon and Humberto are down! They crawl, hot tags to Angel and Rey! The fans fire up as Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl RANAS! Angel ends up in a corner, he puts Rey on the apron, but Rey ROCKS Angel! Rey goes up to SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, wrenches and kicks, then hops on! CODE RED! Cover, Humberto breaks it! The fans boo but Humberto hauls Rey up. Rey fights and RANAS Humberto up and out! But Angelo kicks, scoops, but Rey slips free! Angelo kicks low, reels REy in, and underhooks, but Rey fights those to RANA Angel onto ropes! Rey dials it up to 619!

Tag to Dragon and he takes aim! Angel stands, into the tilt-o-whirl, PROJECT DRAGON!! Cover, LWO wins!

Winners: Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee, by pinfall

Carlito and Zelina hug it out with the team, but then Santos Escobar & Elektra Lopez walk out here. Santos says whoa, whoa, whoa, hold that celebration. Because Santos is many things, but a liar is not one of them. And when Santos said he did NOT attack Dragon that night before Mania, he meant it. Elektra has been working for weeks to track down the security footage from that night. And Rey… Oh, Rey. What you’re about to see, you will find very, very interesting. The footage plays, and it was CARLITO!! Carlito throw Dragon around backstage! No one can believe it, because of how well Carlito fooled even Dragno.

Speaking of, Carlito RAMS Dragon into Rey, then hits a BACKSTABBER! Never has that move’s name been more fitting! Carlito runs away in a panic, and Rey stands back up in a rage! Santos says he told Rey that he was right all along. They were supposed to be family, and yet look how that turned out. How will the LWO recover from this shocking development?

 

Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander!

The Big Bad Booty Nephew has been making a case for himself ever since showing up on SmackDown, and he’s already bringing the straps down! Is he going to break PRIMED Alexander while also breaking match time records? Or will Cedric prove he’s too fly for Bron?

The bell rings and Cedric dodges Bron to CHOP and ROCK! Cedric whips, Bron reverses and Cedric handsprings, into a SPEAR!! Cover, Bron wins!

Winner: Bron Breakker, by pinfall

Well, hard to say if that’s an all-time fast match, but that was a fast match! QR Code stuff going on, but will we all see Bron take the world by storm?

 

Nick Aldis heads out.

And waiting is Tiffany Stratton. She asks if he saw what she did last week. Wait, of course he did. Because she is the Center of the Universe. She dropped Naomi and Bayley, where is her title match? Aldis tells Tiff to look at his watch. It is NOT set to #TiffyTime. And he was this close to sending her to the back of the line. But then someone convinced him otherwise, good for her. Tonight, she goes 1v1 with Naomi again, and the winner faces Bayley for the title at Backlash. Whose stupid idea was that?! Bayley says DING DONG, it was hers. It is a win-win situation here. If Naomi wins, she gets the match she got cheated out of.

And if Tiff wins, then she’ll find out when she attacks the Role Model. Tiff gasps as she has a #TiffanyEpiphany. Bayley should be ringside for that match so she can see Tiff do what Bayley couldn’t, and that’s beat Naomi. Tootles. Tiff leaves, but will the only thing she gets is to #FeelTheGlow?

 

Michelle McCool and Torrie Wilson are here!

One is a former WWE Women’s Champion, the other is a WWE Hall of Famer, but they’re both here to present Draft picks! Michelle says with the first pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… The Viper, Randy Orton! SmackDown will still have to watch out for an RKO outta nowhere! Torrie says that with the second pick of the second round, Raw selects… BRON BREAKKER! We just saw Bron make quick work of opponents here on SmackDown, but now he’s gonna be rampaging on Raw!

Michelle says that with the third pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… NIA JAX! The Irresistible Force may have to change targets from the Women’s World to the Undisputed Women’s title, but will she be unstoppable all the same? And with the fourth and final pick of this round, Raw selects… LIV MORGAN! The Revenge Tour will still be part of Monday nights, will we watch Liv rise to the top?

 

The Bloodline arrives backstage.

Paul Heyman is there to greet them and open the door to the SUV. He apologizes for not being faster about that, but Solo Sikoa asks The Bloodline if they’ve been drafted. Not yet. Then give Solo the details. Okay, well, Roman Reigns withdrew right before the show began, and then Solo keeps adding members, so no one really knows what they’re getting if they draft The Bloodline! Solo sighs, and here comes Tama Tonga. Heyman asks they be patient but Solo wants Heyman to repeat that for him. Heyman gets scared, but then KEVIN OWENS jumps in! Kevin fires off on Tama, security and refs rush in to stop it!

The Prizefighter wants Solo’s “MFT” to bring the fight like he did last week! Security still drags Kevin away, but will he get that fight he wants?

 

Kayla Braxton is on stage.

SmackDown returns and Kayla welcomes us back to the show. And please welcome out the first overall pick, Bianca Belair! The fans fire up as The EST walks out on stage, and Kayla congratulates her on being the first overall pick. But let’s talk Backlash. Breaking news, Bianca and Jade Cargill are going to challenge for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, against the Kabuki Warriors. How satisfying would it be to dethrone them on the stage of this magnitude? Bianca says so satisfying. She really hopes Jade gets drafted to SmackDown because given all this history with Damage CTRL, all the partners by her side, Bianca has never been the one to finally end it with them.

For everything they’ve done to her and this division, Bianca feels Jade is the perfect woman to help her end this. Now, DMG CTRL is falling apart piece by piece, and that final piece is the tag titles. So once Bianca & Jade take the gold at Backlash, the Kabuki Warriors won’t even have a reason to come back to SmackDown. But wait, they’re here now! Asuka & Kairi walk out here and Kayla moves aside. The Empress of Tomorrow and the Pirate Princess taunt the EST, but here comes The Storm! Jade makes her way to stand right by Bianca’s side. The four shout and argue, but this will be settled on May 4th!

WHOA! Tama and Kevin are brawling their way out here! The ladies move aside so the gentlemen can brawl all the way down to ringside! Tama hits low, gets in the ring, but Kevin pursues! Kevin TACKLES Tama, but Solo CLOBBERS Kevin! The fans boo as The Bloodline beats Kevin down! The refs hurry out here but clearly Solo’s Bloodline won’t listen! Tama DECKS producers, DECKS guards, HEADBUTTS them, throws hands and even THROWS the guards! Tama and Solo beat Kevin down again, but here comes Randy Orton! The Viper is still on SmackDown and he’s still pals with Kevin, so here he comes!

Orton DECKS Tama, fires hands on Solo, then RK- NO, Solo gets free and gets away! Orton wants to pursue, almost runs Jamie Noble and refs over to do it, but the Bloodline has gotten away! The fans cheer Randy on, and KAevin even hugs him! But then Kevin and Randy try to give chase! Security stops this, when and where will we see #RKKO strike down Solo and Tama?

 

The Dudley Boyz are here!

The fans fire up as Bubba Ray & D-Von are both here for the next round of picks! Cincy chants for “E C DUB! E C DUB!” Bubba and D-Von look at the cards, it’s hard to read. So out come the glasses! Bubba says with the first pick of the third round of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… L A KNIGHT! YEAH!! The Mega Star stays on Fridays! D-Von says with the second pick of the third round, Raw selects… RICOCHET! Mondays still has the One and Only, is Ricochet going to bring that WWE Speed Championship home to Raw, too?

Bubba says with the third pick of the third round, SmackDown selects… THE BLOODLINE! That means Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga and Paul Heyman are staying right here on Friday nights. And D-Von says with the final pick of this round, Raw selects… SHEAMUS! The Celtic Warrior just got back, but he won’t have to worry about going anywhere else but Monday nights.

 

WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton!

It’s time to run it back once again! The Glow got robbed by the Spoiled Rich Girl, but supposedly, it’s #TiffyTime. Will Naomi prove there’s no such time on the clock? Or will Bayley be the one feeling the Backlash over giving Tiffany one more chance?

The bell rings and Naomi hits a THESZ PRESS! Naomi rains down fists, Tiffy shoves her away and goes to ropes, but Naomi gets up in Tiff’s face. Naomi whips, Tiff holds ropes to bail out and fans boo. Naomi scowls, runs in and WRECKS Tiff with a dropkick! Naomi then gets Tiff up, SMACKS her off the apron, and then SMACKS her off it again! And again! Naomi puts Tiff in, goes up a corner, but Tiff gets under the jump! Naomi runs back up but Tiff YANKS her into ropes! Tiff runs to HIP ATTACK! Naomi sputters, Tiff scowls and drags Naomi up, to then put through ropes. But Naomi RAMS into Tiff!

Naomi reels Tiff in, for a HEATSEEKER! Tiff flops to the floor, and then Naomi SPLIT LEG DROPS! Naomi says it’s #NaomiTime, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Naomi runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO! Naomi survives and Tiff is frustrated but the fans rally up. Tiff drags Naomi up, whips her to a corner, but Naomi goes up and sunset flips! TWO! Tiff escapes, knees Naomi low, then whips. Naomi slides under the lariat to then mule kick! Then she headscissor SPIKES Tiff down! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives but barely, and Naomi keeps her cool. Naomi headlocks, but Tiff shoves her into buckles! Tiff runs, but Naomi follows, DOUBLE RUNNING FACEBUSTERS take them both down! The fans fire up as the two rise!

Naomi KICKS, ROCKS and ROCKS Tiff again! Naomi fires shots again and again but Tiff knees low! Tiff reels Naomi in, but Naomi wrenches out to ENZIGIRI! And then BUCKLE BULLDOG! But then NIA JAX attacks Bayley!? Nia SMACKS Bayley off buckles, rains down fists, and this momentarily distracts Naomi. Naomi refocuses, but by now, Tiff’s slipped away! Nia KICKS Bayley in the side, so Naomi goes out to ROCK her! Nia POSTS Naomi and that throws the match out!

No Contest

The fans boo as Nia ruins the fun, then runs Bayley over! Nia smiles as she blows kisses to Cincy. Tiff smiles, she drags Naomi up and puts her in the ring. Then she drags Bayley in! Tiff wants a repeat of last week as she puts them side by side in the drop zone! Tiff then goes up and up for the PRETTIEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Tiff says it’s her time, but the #1 contendership is still in question. Who gets their shot at the Role Model at Backlash?

 

B-Fab and the Street Profits meet up backstage.

Angelo Dawkins has a “WHO-DEY” sign, but Montez Ford is wondering where Bobby Lashley is right now. B-Fab says calm down, he’ll be here. Byron Saxton walks over and apologizes for interrupting. He doesn’t know what the Draft destination for this group will be until Monday Night Raw, but we do know that The Profits will challenge A-Town Down Under for the WWE Tag Team Championships. YESSIIIIIIR~! B-Fab says it doesn’t matter where they get drafted. The Profits are going to take down A-Town Down Under and take those titles. Then they’ll have their first class tickets right back to SmackDown.

SmackDown? Did someone say SmackDown~? In walk Austin Theory & Grayson Waller, showing off the titles. And Theory says you can’t have SmackDown without the GREATEST undefeated tag team of all time. And sorry, Dawkins, but these are championships, something the Bengals know nothing about! B-Fab keeps Dawkins back, but then in steps Bobby Lashley! The All Mighty scares Theory & Waller right off, and Dawkins says see y’all next Friday! Will there be nothing keeping these Profits down the night before Backlash?

 

The Final Testament speaks.

Karrion Kross says good evening. What’s going on here? You guessed it! More random acts of violence! Just follow him. Kross & Scarlett lead the way to show The Authors of Pain beating down New Catch Republic! Rezar beats down Pete Dunne while Akam victimizes Tyler Bate! Paul Ellering says they will know about sacrifice! Kross says whether they get drafted to Raw or stay on SmackDown, the violence will continue until they get what they want! So sayeth The Final Testament!!

 

Teddy Long and JBL are here!

The Hall of Famer General Manager and the Hall of Famer WWE Champion are both here, ready to give us the fourth and final round of picks tonight! Teddy gets right to it! The first pick of the fourth round, SmackDown selects… AJ STYLES! The Phenomenal One is really an obvious choice, because one way or another, the WWE Championship stays with SmackDown! JBL says the second pick of the fourth round, Raw selects… THE ALPHA ACADEMY! Raw keeps Chad Gable, Otis, Maxxine Dupri & Akira Tozawa, A THANK YEW~!

Teddy says with the third pick of this round, SmackDown selects… ANDRADE! A big move as now El Idolo will be part of Friday nights. And with the final pick of this fourth round, Raw selects… NXT’S Kiana James! The Calculator, the former NXT Women’s Tag Team Champion, has the Raw hat to put on, and after a quick hype package, Jackie Redmond is there to interview her. Kiana, congratulations! You are heading to Monday Night Raw! How much does this mean to her? This means the world to her. She is filled with gratitude, but also knows every decision she has made up to this point has been by design to get her here.

Kiana is so proud of her time in NXT, but she’s ready to show Raw why she is the One Percent. Was she surprised? Of course she was! HBK is here to wish her luck and congratulations. Is Kiana going to start the hostile takeover of the Raw Women’s Division?

 

Backstage interview with Nick Aldis.

Kayla is with the SmackDown GM and says that with night one in the books, how does he feel about SmackDown’s selections? He feels really good about them. SmackDown’s future is bright, he can’t wait for the new recruits to show up and show out for the blue brand. But he also wants to turn attentions to Backlash, because he’s got some new matches to announce! The first PLE in France, this is exciting stuff, Kayla. Aldis says that the WWE Women’s Championship will now be on the line in a Triple Threat! Bayley VS Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton! Will the odds make it that much harder for the Role Model to succeed?

There’s one more match to announce, but Aldis will let the GM GOAT take it from here. Teddy Long steps in, and don’t forget. We’ll talk about this tag team match. The Bloodline VS Kevin Owens & Randy Orton! Holla, players. Solo & Tama will have to face The Viper and the Prizefighter, will #RKKO strike fast and strike hard?

 

Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes!

The American Nightmare just put pen to paper for his match with the Phenomenal One, but he isn’t one to shy away from a challenge. The former NXT Champion is shooting his shot, but will this be nothing but net? Or will it be a frustrating airball?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, the fans rally for Cody as he puts Melo in a corner then arm-drags him away. Melo runs up, Cody headlocks, Melo powers out then drops. Melo hurdles, but Cody kicks low to RHODES UPPERCUT! Melo staggers to ropes, the fans fire up, but then melo throat chops and springboard FLYING LARIATS! Melo says that’s why he’s a first round pick! But then Cody CLOBBERS him! Cody asks if Melo’s ready for this, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns once again and Cody has a headlock. Cody hits a takeover, Melo flails and kicks around, but Cody grinds him down. Melo pushes with his forearm, then headscissors, but Cody kips free. Melo CHOPS, the fans “WOO~!” but Cody brushes himself off. Melo pie faces Cody! Cody fires forearms on Melo, then whips, but Melo reverses. Melo ELBOWS Cody, then runs up to KICK him in the side! Melo fires forearms and CHOPS in a corner, then throws body shots. Melo digs his boot in, the ref counts, and Cody goes to another corner. Cody eggs Melo on, Melo storms up, but Cody puts him in the corner to CHOP!

Cody swings, Melo dodges and CHOPS! Cody turns things around to CHOP! The fans rally, Cody whips corner to corner, then he back drops Melo away! Melo staggers up, Cody runs, and he rallies on Melo with forearms! Cody goes up and over in a corner but Melo tilt-o-whirls, LA MYSTICA! Melo springboards, FADE AWAY! Cover, TWO! Cody survives that flying DDT, but we see the NXT roster all fired up watching Melo take it to the champ. Melo sits Cody up, drags him into a facelock, but the fans rally for Cody. Cody fireman’s carries but Melo slips free to dragon sleeper! Melo grins, but Cody cradles! TWO!!

Melo swings, Cody boots, then Cody springboards to BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! Melo flips inside-out, Cody covers, TWO! Melo is still in this and he snarls up at Cody. Melo gives a forearm, Cody gives it back, and the fans rally up. Cody scoops Melo, storms around, and then hits a RUNNING POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Melo survives and Cody grows frustrated. Cody pounds the mat, the fans rally up, and then Cody goes to ropes. Cody springboards again, CODY CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Melo survives yet again, proving why he’s a former NXT Champion, on top of NXT North American Champion! But then Cody drags him up!

Cody back suplexes, Melo lands out of it, then FIRST 48! Doe goes Cody and Melo goes up! Melo is setting up for the game winner! NOTHING BUT- NO, Cody avoids the flying leg drop! Melo rolls through, Cody dodges to SUPERKICK! Cody brings Melo around, but Melo gets free! They both run, both springboard, but completely miss each other, and Cody takes a rough landing! Melo drags Cody up, reels him in, but Cody wrenches out to dragon sleeper! CROSS RHODES!! Cody shakes out the bad arm but still makes the cover, and Cody wins!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall

Melo took his shot but it was blocked! Even so, Cody sits Melo up to show him respect and tell him he’s still the future. But did this match end up more of a trap game for Cody after that crash landing? Or will he be alright in time for Backlash and his phenomenal opponent?

Speaking of, Styles sneaks right into the ring! Cody sees him in time and Styles stays back. Cody and Styles stare down, but Styles says it was that close. Styles offers a handshake, and Cody takes it. There’s still respect here, for now. But will nothing stop Styles from turning Cody’s story into a tragedy after all?

My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown to open the WWE Draft but to also set up Backlash. To recap, SmackDown took Bianca, Melo, Orton, Nia, LA Knight, The Bloodline, Styles and Andrade while Raw took Jey, Rollins, Bron, Liv, Ricochet, Sheamus, The Alpha Academy, and Kiana. Many of those choices made sense, as picks won’t be wasted on keeping champions on brands, and just need to be used to keep most stories alive and change up a few others. Kiana is perhaps one of the more surprising moves, but well-deserved. She has been a solid character and solid in-ring performer almost from the start, she’s a solid addition to Raw.

Bron of course demolished his opponent tonight, it’s just a shame it was Cedric and not local enhancement talent. But Bron will also be a good addition to Raw, but maybe he can move past his squash match phase and get right to story. Melo being a first round pick was great stuff, and he had a great promo with Cody to give us tonight’s main event. That double springboard whiff was definitely a timing problem, but at the same time, a Fade Away countered into a Cody Cutter would’ve been way too epic just for TV. Cody with a great win, and we got a really good contract signing segment, but you can bet Cody retains.

Really good tag match from LWO VS Legado but naturally Rey & Dragon won. I knew it was only a matter of time before Carlito was outed, and how he handled being exposed was pretty good. And with Andrade being drafted to SmackDown, you just know that means Andrade joins the LWO. The Final Testament attacking New Catch Republic was a wild moment, I almost thought Ellering was going to use the pliers in his hands to grab at fingers. Maybe we get that next week for SmackDown in France. Good promos from A-Town Down Under and the still technically unnamed faction of Bobby Lashley’s. As great as The Profits are, it feels like Theory & Waller will cheat to retain.

Really good promo with Tiff and Bayley to set up Naomi VS Tiff round 3, but I did not think Nia Jax would disrupt all that. A Triple Threat at Backlash is good stuff, it will protect Bayley if she loses, but can also protect Naomi and Tiff if Bayley uses them against each other to win. Good promo from Bianca that then turned into the shouting match of Bianca & Jade with Kabuki Warriors. Their tag title match is official, and I’m pretty sure Bianca & Jade win. I also liked that this segment ended up having Kevin and Tama brawl right through it. Orton saving Kevin was a great move, RKKO VS Solo & Tama is going to be awesome stuff, I can’t wait to see it.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.25.2024

We just got done with Rebellion, and Under Siege is two weeks away! Gotta see how these dots connect!

Published

2 days ago

on

April 25, 2024

By

Rebellion had quite a few returns, Mike Santana, Sami Callihan and Broken Matt Hardy. All three of these guys could easily be main event players, and its nice to mix up and expand what felt like a rather small pool of potential challengers.

Under Siege is only like 2 weeks out, so we’ll see how the dots connect in such a short period of time.

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
  • #1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via Grapevine Ankle Lock – ***
  • ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside: Xia wins via School Girl Roll-Up – ** 3/4
  • Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands: Sami Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – SQUASH
  • Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – *** 1/4

Results:

A weird opening that is just framed to put Nemeth and Hardy together against The System. Feels a little awkward, but who knows how it will play out. 

Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz

Ahh I didn’t really pay attention to Santana’s theme at Rebellion, but its pretty damn cool. Good stuff. 

Rascalz blindside Santana early, but the heel advantage doesn’t last more than a few moves. Santana whips Myron from corner to corner, hits a few Hip Attacks before Myron finally dodges one and starts using his unique offense and agility to his advantage. Matrix dodge, into an Leaping Outside Back in Slingshot Codebreaker. Some more offense and Santana powders to the ramp, Myron jumps over the rope and tries a Flying Cutter, but Santana blocks it, turns things around, gets pushed forward and hits the Rolling Cutter. Santana takes out the Rascalz, heads back into the ring, Myron tries to catch him unawares but eats the Spin the Block off the rope run! Santana wins fairly quickly.

Maclin’s music hits, he tries to employ the help of The Rascalz to attack Santana, but as soon as Maclin positions himself to get in, The Rascalz bail and flip off Maclin. Maclin makes it out of the confrontation relatively unscathed, but at least we know where he’s going for Under Siege probably.

OH FUCK ME WITH RUSTY KNIVES. Because Cardona is hurt Kon is paired with SDL, and she just challenges Jordynne and PCO to a tag match. WHY!? STOP IT. This is hot garbage. 

Josh Alexander comes out…I wonder who’s Super Finisher he’s gonna conveniently kick out this time? Brian Myers? Frankie Kazarian? Rich Swann? Because yes, I’m still annoyed that Hammerstone has been in TNA for half a sandwich, he already connects with a Super version of his finish on tacks, and that’s not a finish. Oh Kaz’s music hits. Okay, so time for Josh to kick out of Fade to Black or Flux Capacitor. Kaz talks smack, says he won his match too so he should have a say in who’s number one contender. Josh challenges him, Kaz says not right now, but a referee runs out and says the match is official. 

#1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander

Kaz throws his jacket on Josh’s head, and attacks him with some strikes before Josh fights back and throws Kaz out. Commercial break, we see Kaz misses his Apron Guillotine, Josh goes for the Low Crossbody but Kaz dodges and Josh goes flying. Kaz starts throwing some chops and claws at the cauliflowered ears of Josh. Russian Leg Sweep from Kaz for a near fall. Josh swings wildly and Kaz ducks the strike and levels Josh with a Lariat.

Josh blocks a Vertical Suplex attempt, but Frankie pulls off a Fisherman’s Suplex after a few overhead strikes for a near fall. Josh stands up and connects with a straight right, rocks Kaz, Back Body Drop, into a Charging Forearm, Rolling Senton, 2 count! C4 Spike attempt countered into a Back Stabber and then Chicken Wing, but Josh fights it off, rolls through and into an Ankle Lock, Kaz kicks off and into a Head and Arm Cradle for a near fall and then the Guillotine Leg Drop into Slingshot DDT spot from Kaz for another 2 count!

Fade to Black, but its fought off, Big Boot but then Kaz counters the next move with a Power Slam into the Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop, but Josh grabs the Ankle Lock! Locomotion German Suplex time from Josh, Halfhatch Suplex after the Germans, floats over for a 2 count! C4 Spike attempt again, but Kaz fights it off, dumps him over the top rope, slingshots him in and into the Cutter for a near fall for Kaz! After the 2 Kaz grabs a chair and chain, the referee stops the chair of course, so he tries the chain, EY runs down and grabs the chain so Kaz pulls the Eddie Guerrero and the referee admonishes EY, but doesn’t DQ Josh. So as Kaz is busy laughing at EY, Josh picks the ankle, Ankle Lock with the Grapevine, Kaz taps.

ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside

Both are jawing at each other and then throw hands before Xia gets the upper hand with a Headscissors from the Top Turnbuckle, Charging Knees, a Flurry of Kicks, but when the ref forces some space in the corner, ASH is finally able to dodge and work over Xia with her Twisting Body Splash, a few choking moves, a corner Stomp into a Snap Suplex for 2. ASH is in charge elegantly, but the referee keeps forcing space on both of them when they go for corner attacks. Xia manages to take advantage a little, but ASH regains control, kicks Xia up the ramp and then lands her Cartwheel Back Elbow up the ramp. It actually looks pretty cool executed like that.

Headlocks and Hair Pulling to keep Xia down and using energy to kick out. ASH is getting frustrated but Xia is remaining persistent. ASH goes back to the Headlock, but Xia fights up, Jawbreaker, Back Elbow, Kick to the gut and Drop Toe Hold sends ASH face first into the middle buckle. Xia rips off 4 Double Knee Smashes to the back of ASH’s head into her Flying Crossbody for a close 2! Xia pulls her up, but ASH spins out, then Xia slips it, but ASH kicks her in the chest and deposits her to the outside and demands a count from the referee. Iceman puts Jeweled Knuckles/Rings on ASH’s hand, the referee catches her, removes the stuff from her fingers and Xia hits the School Girl Roll-Up for the flash win.

Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands

So the Good Hand Jobs are about to do their job to Sami. I’m just gonna assume Sami beats the hell out of both and wins with a Cactus Driver ’97. If anything interesting happens I might actually cover it, but come on now.

Kaz makes a Metallica reference with the “Wash Your Back So You Won’t Stab Mine”…and Sweet Amber is the only good song on St. Anger. So…I ain’t mad.

Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth

A little early ground wrestling and headlocks for control from both men. Nothing super flashy to start until we get to the rope run and Nemeth goes for the Flying Body Press to drop Eddie. Before Nemeth can follow up, Lish grabs his foot. Nic does have his brother Ryan in the crowd, trying to get chants going and do the old school ‘power up the babyface’ thing, but Eddie has been in control since Lish got involved. Simple offense, chokes, strikes, Snap Suplexes, Knee Drops, simple yet effective. But then Eddie ducks his head too early, Nemeth kicks him in the face, bounces his head off the buckles a few times, Dropkick sends Eddie reeling to the corner, Nemeth starts the 10 Count Punches but Myers hits the apron to distract and Eddie manages to slip the situation and push Nemeth to the floor.

Commercial break happens, Nemeth is trying to fight back with Chops, but a Kitchen Sink from Eddie puts Nemeth on the floor again! Clubbing blow from Eddie, but Eddie then misses the Hip Attack in the corner and Nemeth counters with the Rude Awakening into the 10 Count Rain of Elbows. Fame Ass-er miss, Eddie tries something but Nemeth turns it into that hesitation DDT for 2! Tuning up the band starts to build and Eddie powders to avoid it. Nemeth throws Eddie back in, goes to the top, but Eddie crotches him, rises up and hits the Superplex into Tiger Driver for 2! Eddie starts mocking with Tuning Up the band but Nemeth hits his own Superkick into an Olympic Slam for 2!

Both men just trade strikes Fighting Spirit style, Eddie says “Always Trust the System” and Nemeth shuts him up with a Headbutt. Danger Zone is blocked, Boston Knee Party gets ducked, they level each other with Lariats! Myers and Ryan Nemeth start fighting to distract the referee, Moose hits the ring and hits Nemeth with the belt. Eddie lands Boston Knee Party and The System wins again!

 

Overall Score: 6/10

A lame opening segment, a squash match, ASH by Elegance getting her first loss, and a weird way of just pulling the number one contender out of mid air makes for an awkward show. Also Kon still be involved in, literally anything, is negative. However, I can say there was a ton of stuff thrown at the wall this episode, so there’s a chance that some things landed better with other people than myself. The ballot segments were amusing, they overused the “I need to talk to you Santino” gimmick a bit much and personally I feel like having Jake versus Hammerstone is booking yourself into a weird corner.

But hey, the main event was fun, Nemeth getting laid out to the point that there could be a story reason to take him out of the Under Siege match. Kaz with the Metallica reference was pop worthy and I guess its a lot of ‘let’s see where it goes’ kind of angle creation. So it wasn’t complete trash, but its definitely a wait and see episode.


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