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Mitchell’s WWE Royal Rumble Report! (1/28/18)

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All images courtesy of the WWE Network streaming service.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Match, Six Man Tag: Team Lucha Spirit VS TJP, Drew Gulak & Jack Gallagher; Lucha Spirit wins.
  • Kickoff Match, The Club VS The Revival; The Revival wins.
  • Kickoff Match, WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Bobby Roode VS ???; Roode wins and retains the WWE US Championship.
  • WWE Championship 2-on-1 Handicap: AJ Styles VS Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn; Styles wins and retains the WWE Championship.
  • WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship Best 2 out of 3 Falls: The Usos VS Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin; The Usos win 2-0 and retain the WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championships.
  • Men’s Royal Rumble Match; Nakamura wins and chooses to challenge for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 34.
  • WWE Raw Tag Team Championship: Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan VS The Bar; The Bar wins and become the new WWE Raw Tag Team Champions.
  • WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman VS Kane VS Braun Strowman; Lesnar wins and retains the WWE Universal Championship.
  • Inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble Match; Asuka wins, but does not make a decision for Wrestlemania.

PLAY BY PLAY

Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn answer your questions in the Social Media Lounge!

However, neither of the best friends are that happy about it. Use #AskSamiKO to ask them something before their handicap title match against AJ Styles!

 

Alexa Bliss joins the Kickoff Panel.


A small part of the Goddess wants to be in that inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble, but she also likes being the woman the winner might come after. Just like in the Men’s Rumble, the winner of the Women’s Rumble can choose the champion she challenges. That means they could challenge Alexa or Charlotte Flair, regardless of what brand they were before. A poll shows that people think Asuka is the most likely to win tonight, and Alexa chooses Nia Jax. She wants that “Best Friends” championship match, but if it is Asuka, Alexa can prepare and be ready for her. The King notes Alexa is quite possibly the most confident champion he’s ever known, is she really worried about who wins? Alexa knows she has enemies, but she’s a fighting champion, and a smart champion, so she’ll welcome any challenger.

Who does Alexa definitely not want to face? Alexa knows she doesn’t have to fear Asuka. But championship aside, Alexa is excited as anyone for this Women’s (R)Evolution leading to this inaugural Royal Rumble, because it embodies the truth of the movement: it isn’t just one woman, but all of them. She’s sure everyone feels the pressure, because of who they will face at Wrestlemania. King redirects the talk to be more about Alexa, and Alexa thanks him. She then wraps up by saying that whoever wins tonight only wins the right to lose to her at ‘Mania. Will the Goddess eat her words before the end of the night?

 

Jason Jordan finds Seth Rollins backstage.

The Gold-Blooded Son has good timing, as the Architect was hoping to talk to him. Jordan lets Rollins know he’s honored to be teamed with him. That, and his dad Angle knew what he was doing when putting them together. With Jordan’s Olympic pedigree and Rollins’ brains, they’re gonna break The Bar. Angle knew they were going to be great tag team champions! But speaking of great tag teams, Chad Gable and his new partner Shelton Benjamin appear.

What happened to make Jordan into a daddy’s boy? Sorry, Gable, this room is for champions only. The two old friends reveal they’re just joking around and hug it out. Rollins leaves them to catch up, Jordan and Benjamin make proper introductions. They’ve heard a lot about each other, and Benjamin remembers back to his Team Angle days. Speaking of fathers, congratulations to Gable on having another baby. Jordan remembers back to being American Alpha with Gable, or as they were almost known, the new World’s Greatest Tag Team. Oh? “Sounds like a knock-off.” Gable intervenes, and mentions how Jordan still “dumped” Gable to be a “singles wrestler”. How is that going, by the way? Well yeah, he is a tag team champion again, but at least that makes one of them. Good luck with the Usos, though. Benjamin can’t believe that guy used to be Gable’s partner…

 

Kickoff Match, Six Man Tag: Team Lucha Spirit VS TJP, Drew Gulak & Jack Gallagher!


Kalisto, Lince Dorado & Gran Metalik were successful as a trio on Tuesday’s 205 Live, but the “Cruiser-Great” has found himself two new partners to try again. Can TJP turn things around? Or will he once again end up #TJPissed?

The bell rings, and Kalisto leads off against Gulak. The chanting annoys Gulak, even if it is for his PowerPoint. Kalisto and Gulak circle, tie up, and Gulak powers Kalisto the mat. Kalisto slips out and the two hand fight, but Kalisto bakcs off to troll Gulak with “Lucha! Lucha!” Gulak runs at him but Kalisto gets around with a waistlock. Gulak throws Kalisto off and sits on the arm to cover, ONE. The Cruiserweight Crusader brings Kalisto up in a facelock but Kalisto trips him up, for a modified deathlock!

Gulak sits back for a cover, TWO, and the two separate. He tags in the Ungentle Gentleman, and Kalisto tags in the King of the Ropes. There is still history between these two from when Gallagher & THE Brian Kendrick injured Metalik’s knee, now Metalik has a chance to settle things. They tie up, Gulak gets a wristlock but Metalik rolls to snapmare and roll, ONE. Gallagher gets all the way out of the ring, Gulak keeps Metalik from pursuing. Gallagher takes his time to reenter, and they circle again. TJP tags in, so the luchadors troll TJP with a group dab.

Lince tags in, he has unfinished business with TJP as well. TJP gets the waistlock, but Lince the standing switch and takedown. TJP reverses again, so Lince handsprings and reverses back. Lince tags Kalisto, Kalisto kicks TJP’s arm. TJP powers out of the headlock but not the takeover, ONE. They stand up, TJP powers out of the hold now, things speed up and Kalisto handsprings to headscissor TJP before a dropkick! Tag back to Lince, Lince climbs up to double knee the arm. Lince chops TJP sharply, whips but is reversed, Lince goes to monkey flip but TJP cartwheels through. TJP feels confident, but that chop takes it out of him. Lince whips but is reversed, Lince slips under to arm drag and headscissor TJP. Trip to standing moonsault, TWO! Lince keeps on TJP with a whip but TJp slips to the outside, only to get dropkick’d out! Gulak runs in, he gets sent out. Gallagher hurries over to regroup with his team, but the Lucha Spirit trio go to the near corner. TRIPLE SUPER Asai Moonsaults!

The fans love the lucha spirit shown while we go to break.

We return to find TJP powers Lince to a corner. He unloads a European Uppercut then whips corner to corner, but Lince boots back. Lince hops up, but gets dropkick’d out of the air! Gulak tags in, he puts Lince in the corner and stomps on him. Gallagher gets cheap shots while Gulak goes after Kalisto and Metalik. Gulak drags Lince out to stomp the knees and tag in Gallagher. Gallagher goes after Lince’s legs, and taunts Metalik before stomping both knees. Cover, ONE, but Gallagher returns to the legs. He wrenches Lince’s foot with a toehold, but Metalik is there to cheer Lince on. Gallager goes to the other foot now, twisting and bending before dropping knees on the knee. Lince endures another knee drop, but then Gallagher drags him over to tag Gulak back. Gulak blasts Metalik off again before stomping on Lince. He stomps Lince in the corner, stops at 4, but Gallagher gets more cheap shots. Gulak tags TJP, they double leg whip Lince down, then TJP puts Lince in his own deathlock variant while a rally builds.

TJP covers, TWO, Lince keeps his shoulders up. TJP goes to put his full weight on Lince but Lince monkey flips his way to the corner then jumps for a sunset flip. TWO, and TJP denies a tag by hanging Lince up on the top rope. Lince tumbles down to the ground, TJP puts him back in. Cover, TWO, and TJP grows annoyed. The fans rally again, but Gallagher tags in to snapmare and scrape Lince. Gallagher gives a cheap shot to Kalisto, then climbs up to the second rope. Gulak protests, this is against #Drewtopia rules! Gallagher says it’s fine if it’s just the once!

They argue while Lince stirs. Gallagher takes aim as he tight rope walks, but he belly flops!

Metalik rallies the fans, and Gallagher admits Gulak was right. Tags, Gulak and Metalik are in. Metalik moves fast, handspring wheelbarrow arm-drag! He evades then chops Gulak before walking the ropes for the missile dropkick. Metalik fires Philly up as he goes to the top rope, springboard elbow drop!

Gallagher breaks the pin just in time. He gets Gulak up, but Kalisto tags in. He gets them both with the Listo Kick, then Lince handsprings for a DOUBLE Dorado Stunner!

Gulak and Gallagher roll all the way out, Metalik FLIES!

Metalik puts Gulak in, Kalisto covers, TWO! Kalisto keeps his focus but Gulak hits back. TJP tags in, Kalisto dropkicks Gulak but TJP grabs Kalisto. Kalisto escapes, standing switch and roll up, TJP tries the tights but Kalisto rolls through, SALIDA DEL SOL!

Lucha Spirit wins! Will this 2-0 record help one of these luchadors take a step towards the WWE Cruiserweight Championship?

 

Charlotte Flair joins the Kickoff Panel.

The Queen of SmackDown is so excited right now. She can’t think of a better way to start the Road to Wrestlemania than in an inaugural Women’s Rumble match. Just like Alexa, she wishes she was in that match. Charlotte would use the win to challenge Alexa for her title and once again be the WWE Women’s Champion. She also notes that every woman in the WWE has made this movement possible, and this match is the culmination of their work. Who would Charlotte want to face at ‘Mania? Obviously Charlotte knows all 30 women will want at her, she’s the big money. But if Charlotte had to say, her best friend Becky Lynch would be great because of the pure challenge that it presents. Either that, or Nikki Bella, as there is still some “animosity” from how Charlotte took the Divas Championship from her. Then, another natural choice, The Boss, Sasha Banks, to reignite their Raw rivalry.

Is there anyone Charlotte doesn’t want to face? No, she’d even defend her title in the Rumble if she could, so that she can be the first one in and the last one out. She gives herself goosebumps imagining it, though. What about Asuka? Charlotte wants to be the one to break the streak. Tonight makes history one way or another, who will win the Women’s Rumble and who will she challenge?

 

Sami & Kevin are back to answer those questions!

It’s not like they have anything else to do, like prepare for the biggest championship match of their lives. “If u lose, will u break up?” Right, because it takes so much more time to type “Y O U”. Kevin just shifts to blocking accounts. But to actual questions, someone asks if they feel the one who makes the winning pin will be the better of the two co-champions. Kevin answered that earlier, and it’s “No!” The New Day used Free Bird rules, and so will they. Then, they’ll have their own side plates, one on each side? Yes, of course they will! That’s so obvious! And they refuse to talk to Rosenberg, give them The King. One last question: “Do you guys have a straightly for tonight?” Oh obviously that was supposed to be “strategy” but… They’re not stupid enough to reveal it. AJ Styles is eavesdropping in some way to get even a small chance of winning. The strategy will be known to the world when they use it in the match. Kevin hears Rosenberg talk again, he wants WOKEN Matt to help DELETE him.

Renee updates #Kami with news that the handicap match will open the main show. How do they feel about that? They like it, because then they can kick off the Road to KOMania early when #Kami becomes co-champion. Their hometown fans are happy to see them become WWE Champion together, so Kevin & Sami reply in French. Renee can’t keep up but she thanks them for their time. Will Sami & Kevin have a phenomenal night and make history?

 

Kickoff Match, The Club VS The Revival!

The Good Brothers feel right at home in the City of Brotherly Love. Can they defeat Dash Wilder & Scott Dawson again like they did at #Raw25?

The bell rings and Dash starts against The Machine Gun. They tie up, Dash powers Anderson to the Revival corner but Anderson slips away when Dawson makes the tag. The fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” while Anderson gets back to his corner. Dash & Dawson talk strategy quickly before Dawson and Anderson tie up. Dawson puts Anderson in a corner, then gives a cheap body shot, chop and haymaker. Anderson replies with EuroUppers but Dawson kicks low. He snapmares Anderson and speeds up, Dawson knocks Anderson down with a shoulder. Anderson gets back up and knocks Dawson down with a calf kick! Anderson wrenches Dawson’s arm and tags in Gallows. The Club whip Dawson and double body drop him! Dawson bails out and Dash regroups with him on the way back to their corner. Gallows grabs at Dawson but the ref backs him down. Dash tags but not legally, so the ref puts him back. Dawson takes advantage of that as Gallows drags him into the ring, he rakes the bigger man’s eyes. Dawson tags Dash, and Dash stomps away in the corner. Gallows fights back but Dash hooks his nose. Gallows still keeps going, as he throws Dash to an open corner and punches away. A big uppercut and a bigger scoop slam, Gallows even slams Dawson. He whips Dash but Dawson saves him. The Club has control while we take a break.

We return Anderson rallies on The Revival. He unloads forearms on Dash but Dawson’s the legal man. Anderson kicks at Dawson but Dawson turns that into a hotshot on the leg. Dash jumps right on Anderson then Dawson takes his turn, dropping elbows on the leg. Dawson stalks Anderson, smacking that leg against the mat. Dawson gives a low dropkick to Anderson’s head, then drops a leg fast. Anderson ends up in the Revival’s corner, Dawson puts him in a Tree of Woe. Dash tags in and The Revival mug Anderson while he’s upside-down. Dash stomps away on Anderson, focusing on the leg. The fans rally for Anderson, Anderson uses his free leg to fight back. Dash tags Dawson, Anderson pushes Dawson away again and again. Dawson keeps on Anderson, giving that bad leg a fall-back deathlock. He tortures Anderson’s leg, to Dash’s liking. Gallows rallies the fans into things, and Anderson fires himself up. He kicks Dawson right in the face, but Dawson tags Dash and Dash keeps Anderson down. Tag back to Dawson, Anderson fights on one leg. Dawson dragon screws but Anderson sits down, TWO! Dash tags back in and both members of The Revival tackle Anderson down. Anderson is isolated and wounded while Dawson tags back in. They keep focus on the leg but fans rally harder for Anderson. Anderson shoves Dawson out of the ring, but Dash gets Dawson back in for a tag. They are too slow to catch Anderson this time, hot tag to Gallows! Gallows rallies on The Revival, handing out uppercuts and clotheslines to them both. He YAKUZA Kicks Dash down then splashes on him, a roundhouse rocks Dawson. Dash runs, YAKUZA Kick again! Tag to Anderson, Magic- Dawson breaks that up, but he gets a big uppercut for it. Dash goes after the limping Anderson, then reels him in, but SPINEBUSTER from Anderson! Cover, Dawson break sit up. Gallows runs in but is thrown out, so he drags Dawson out with him. Dawson baits Gallows and sends him into the post. Dawson then gets on the apron, Anderson jump kicks him down. This leaves Anderson open to Dash’s chop block!

The Revival win, SAY YEAH! With the damage done to the Good Brothers, will the Revival return to being #TopGuys in the WWE tag team division?

 

Kickoff Match, WWE United States Championship Open Challenge: Bobby Roode VS ???

The GLORIOUS One won the vacated title through the US Championship Tournament held on SmackDown before the Rumble. But Roode is a fighting champion, and wishes to put his title on the line, also before the Rumble. “Tonight is all about the numbers.” The Rumbles start with 30 and end with one, just like the US Championship Tournament ended with one GLORIOUS winner! The title has such a rich history, and where else better to continue its history than in Philadelphia!? His challenge is accepted by…

Mojo Rawley! Can #MojoRising succeed the second time around?

The bell rings, and they tie up. Mojo powers Roode down, then pie-faces Roode whiles chant “Mojo Sucks!” Roode runs at Mojo, Mojo shoulders him down. Mojo puts Roode in a corner then trash talks but Roode fights back with haymakers and chops. Roode whpis but is reversed, but Roode fires out with a lariat. Now Roode stalks Mojo, so Mojo gets to the ropes for safety. Mojo returns, but takes the atomic drop and Russian leg sweep. Cover, TWO, but Roode keeps on Mojo with the arm wrench. Mojo hits back with a right hand, then throws Roode at the ropes. Roode wants his DDT but Mojo gets away again. Mojo sends Roode out but Roode comes back only to get knocked back out. The #KillerInstinct leads Mojo to the outside, and Mojo runs around the corner to blast Roode into barriers!

The champion slumps to the ground, but Mojo brings him up and into the ring. Cover, TWO, can Roode get back into this while we go to break?

WWE returns and Mojo is still in control as he slings Roode back into buckles again and again. Roode fights back, rocking Mojo with a right. Mojo rams knees back into Roode, but the referee backs him down. Mojo snapmares Roode and rams a knee into his spine before putting on the chinlock. The fans rally for Roode while he endures the stretch and the trash talk. Roode gets up and powers out to a back suplex! Both men are down but stirring. Roode gets to a corner and drags himself to his feet. He back elbows Mojo away then hops up, he jumps but Mojo catches him. Roode slips out of the scoop and runs to rally with forearms and lariats. He then goes corner to corner for a big clothesline and a neckbreaker! Cover, TWO, but Roode keeps focus. He stalks Mojo to a corner and chops away. Roode whips but Mojo reverses, so Roode knees him away. GLORIOUS Blockbuster!

The fans fire up while Roode winds it up. GLORIOUS pose, but Mojo counters the DDT with a fireman’s carry. Roode slips out, sunset flips, TWO, SPINEBUSTER from Mojo! Cover, TWO! Mojo is frustrated from how close that was. He toys with Roode, trash talking that the title is coming home with Mojo. Mojo runs, Roode gives him a GLORIOUS Spinebuster, TWO! Roode stands up and walks off a sore back, but Mojo again denies the DDT, with a body drop. Mojo throws Roode into the post! He runs adjacent, but into Roode’s boots. Roode hops up, tornado DDT! Cover, Roode wins! Mojo’s #KillerInstinct wasn’t enough, because Roode is still GLORIOUS!

 

“Tonight is about one thing: Opportunity.”

The Royal Rumble is about the opportunity to compete, to trail blaze, and to make history. There will be more Rumble than ever! A battle between monsters, a battle between movements, and a battle to become a legend, all on the same night. “But that’s not enough!” The women of WWE make history once again with the inaugural Women’s Rumble match, the (R)Evolution will be televised! The Road to Wrestlemania starts now!

 

WWE Championship 2-on-1 Handicap: AJ Styles VS Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn!

The Phenomenal One spoke without thinking, and SmackDown GM Daniel Bryan made this match reality! Can he defeat #Kami at the same time to deny them making history as WWE World Co-Champions?

The fans are already thunderous for the champion even before the bell. Kevin starts for #Kami as the bell rings. Styles and Kevin circle but then Kevin tags out to Sami. The Underdog Guardian Angel enters to the fans serenading him, but then tags right back out to Kevin. Styles keeps his cool while Kevin returns. They circle again, fans chant “YEP! YEP!” versus “NOPE! NOPE!” but Styles gets the first hit. he then whips Kevin but Kevin holds onto the ropes. Kevin pushes past the ref to tag Sami back in. Styles circles with Sami, they tie up, Sami gets teh waistlock but Styles gets the standing switch. They go switch for switch, Styles rolls Sami up, TWO. Sami gets up and goes to his corner, now Styles gets annoyed. Kevin tags in, and circles with Kevin again. Styles gets the waistlock, Kevin the standing switch, but Styles switches back, only for Kevin to trip him up. Styles springs up for the headscissors, then stands between Kevin and Sami.

Sami protests and wants Styles out of the way. Styles stays in front of Kevin so Kevin goes outside and takes the long way around. He tags Sami, and fans actually applaud how well #Kami is trolling Styles. Sami and Styles circle again, tie up, Sami gets the headlock. The fans duel between Styles and Sami, Styles powers out. Things speed up, Styles dropkicks Sami down but Sami scrambles away. Kevin tags in again, and makes sure Sami’s face is okay. Kevin kicks Styles and throws hands and stomps in a corner. The referee backs Kevin off, but Kevin says “And that’s why this is MY show!” He keeps on Styles with body shots, then tags in Sami. Sami stomps a mudhole into Styles, then takes a moment to applaud for himself. Kevin gets a cheap shot in before Sami stands Styles up for a swift chop. Sami chops again, but Styles replies with chops of his own! Styles whips but Sami reverses, big body drop throws Styles! Cover, ONE, but Sami drags Styles up and over. Kevin tags in and mugs Styles before whipping him corner to corner. Cover, TWO, so Kevin rains down rights. He also stomps Styles, then walks off his frustration before going outside with Styles. He throws Styles into the timekeeper barriers!

Styles slumps down but Kevin drags him right back up and into the ring. Cover, ONE, so Kevin grinds a forearm into Styles’ face. Kevin double stomps Styles in the ribs, then tags in Sami. Sami brings Styles up simply to punch him back down. He rams a knee into Styles’ spine then stretches him back in a chinlock. The fans rally for Styles and Styles feeds of the energy to fight back. They end up in #Kami corner, Kevin tags in to club Styles down. Kevin toys with Styles, Styles fights back on #Kami! He chops Kevin, but his whip is reversed. Styles boots back, hops up but Kevin clubs him before putting him on his shoulders. Electric Chair facebuster!

Cover, TWO, and Kevin grows frustrated. He wraps Styles back into a chinlock, squeezing and grinding the champion out. The fans rally again, and Styles stirs. Styles gets to his feet and fights back again. The fans duel now while Kevin throws Styles down by his hair. Styles ends up in a corner, Kevin runs in, but Styles evades the cannonball! That ankle injury aggravates Kevin, forcing him to tag out to Sami. Sami goes after Styles in a corner and then climbs up, but Styles fights back. Styles haymakers Sami before climbing up to join him. Sami fights back and the two brawl up there. Styles somehow manages the SUPER STEINER!

Both men are down but the fans are fired up. Sami crawls while Styles works to get to his feet. Tag to Kevin, but Styles is ready with a PELE! Styles goes down again with Kevin, but Kevin crawls to his corner to tag Sami back in. Sami runs corner to corner, but Styles boots Sami first. Styles hops up, quebrada DDT! The fans love what they see, even as Styles crawls after Sami. Sami tags Kevin back in, Kevin runs back in, but Styles elbows him back. Styles elbows Sami away, but Kevin gives him a monkey flip, that Styles turns into a headscissors on Sami! Styles gets to a corner, Kevin runs in but Styles rolls him for the Calf Crusher!

The bad leg comes into play again! Kevin endures while he reaches for ropes. The fans are thunderous but Sami returns to break the hold! Sami grins and laughs at Styles, but exits at the orders of the ref. Or so we thought! But Styles is ready, he gives Sami the Phenomenal Blitz! Styles throws Sami out, Kevin rolls Styles, TWO! Kevin runs in but Styles sends him into the post! Styles takes this moment to catch his breath, but Sami tags back in. Sami gets behind but Styles resists. They go to ropes and Sami holds onto Styles. The referee counts so Sami has to let go, but Kevin SUPERKICKS Styles behind the ref’s back!

Sami hits the Blue Thunder Bomb!

TWO!! Kevin and Sami cannot believe that! Even so, the fans know “This is Awesome!” Sami stalks Styles to a corner and brings him up for more chops, and even slaps. He hoists Styles to the top rope then climbs up to join him. Sami prepares the superplex but Styles resists. Styles then slips down and out to trip Sami up. Sami hits a buckle while Styles gets separation. Styles runs back in but is put on the apron. He rocks Kevin with one forearm, then Sami with another. Styles adjusts his elbow pad while he takes aim, springboard for the Phenomenal Forearm!

Kevin breaks the pin! The fans keep cheering while Styles and Sami stir. Styles blocks Sami like he did Kevin, then rocks him with a forearm. Sami responds and now we have a brawl. They go back and forth with heavy elbows and forearms, but Styles gets the advantage. Sami gets to a corner, Styles grabs as he tries to make the tag! Kevin gets it by mere fingertips and gets in while Styles throws Sami out. SUPERKICK to Pop- No, Styles reverses into a victory roll! Styles wins!!

Kevin and Sami can’t believe it, and instant replay has a hard time telling if there really was a legal tag. Either way, Styles has the title and denied history. Can Styles keep that title all the way to Wrestlemania in New Orleans?

 

Sami & Kevin complain to Shane McMahon.

They say this isn’t fair! The referee screws them both over now! That tag wasn’t legal, Styles shouldn’t have gotten that pin! Kevin & Sami will not stand for it! They apologize for yelling but this isn’t fair and Shane knows it. Did Shane see it? Yep. Shane leaves the best friends to be furious. Will he leave this issue unresolved?

 

WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship Best 2 out of 3 Falls: The Usos VS Chad Gable & Shelton Benjamin!

They may not be American Alpha nor the World’s Greatest Tag Team, but the challengers are determined to be champions! Can they shut down the Uso Penitentiary once and for all?

“How do you prepare for two brothers who ain’t got nothing to lose?” “You can’t!” “How do you prepare for two brothers who ride from the womb to the tomb?” “You can’t!” “How do you prepare for two brothers who’ve been down since day one?!” #YouCAN’T and #YouWON’T!

Benjamin and J start with the bell. They circle and tie up, Benjamin drives in knees and forearms. He whips Jey then shoulders him down, tag to Gable and they go for the finish already! Jey slips away, Benjamin lets him know they were that close. Gable comes in as the legal competitor and circles with Jey now. Gable gets the waistlock but Jey the switch, and back again. Jimmy tags in and Jey blocks the rolling German, Gable bails out when he sees the superkicks coming. Now the Usos let Gable know they were that close. Benjamin and Gable regroup to refocus, then Gable returns. Gable and Jimmy circle again. Gable gets the leg, then the waistlock, then the slam. Jimmy ends up in a corner, the ref calls for the break. Gable honors it for a second, but gets a stiff chop from Jimmy, then another. Jimmy whips Gable and Gable reverses, but Jimmy goes up and over to uppercut Gable off his feet. Cover, ONE, but Jimmy keeps focus. He puts on a headlock but Benjamin tags in as Gable powers out. Things speed up, Gable chop blocks Jimmy’s leg! Benjamin drags Jimmy over to the post and slings that leg into it before punching Jimmy and smacking that leg against the apron edge. Benjamin drags Uso up, to chop block that leg again!

He drags Jimmy around to wrench the leg with a toehold. Jimmy endures and fans rally for him. He punches Benjamin back but Benjamin grabs his leg again. Gable tags in and stomps Jimmy before adding onto the leg. Cover, TWO, so Gable goes back at the leg. Jimmy continues to endure, Jey gets fans rallying again. Jimmy kicks free but Gable is right back on him with the dragon screw. Gable tags Benjamin, Benjamin continues going after the leg, saying “this is what you asked for!” He wrenches Jimmy’s knee, then drops knees on it to grind the joint. Jey keeps the fans going, and Jimmy endures while reaching. He uses his free leg again and gets free, but Benjamin still keeps him down. Benjamin tags Gable, Gable clobbers Jimmy. Gable puts Jimmy in a corner and throws hands but Jimmy fights back. Jimmy chops and chops, but Gable goes after the leg with another dragon screw, and another toehold! Cover, TWO, but Gable keeps focus. He drags Jimmy over to tag Benjamin again. They hit double knees, kicks and knee strikes, then a cheap shot for Jey. Benjamin embraces the heat before dropping a knee on Jimmy. Jimmy fires back with uppercuts and chops, and the reverse dragon whip!

Benjamin and Jimmy go down, and Jey gets fans going again. The two men crawl for their corners, hot tag to Jey! Jey rallies, mule kick to uppercut, but Benjamin escapes the Samoan Drop. Benjamin tags Gable but Jey doesn’t see it, so while he dumps Benjamin out, Gable comes in. Even so, Jey clotheslines Gable right back out! Then Jey FLIES onto Benjamin!

Jey returns into the ring, builds speed again, and FLIES onto Gable! The fans fire up while Jey puts Gable back in. Jey climbs up and takes aim, crossbody! TWO! Gable gets to a corner while Jey lets out the “UCE! O!” then hits the running hip attack! Jey goes up top again, but has to land on his feet when Gable evades. Gable waistlocks but standing switch, Jey rolls Gable up, TWO, and Jey is sent into Benjamin’s jumping kick!

Gable rolls, TWO, and the two go back and forth with reversals until Gable gets a double chickenwing. Tiger Suplex pin!

TWO! Gable grows frustrated just with this difficult first fall. Benjamin returns to his corner and Gable tags him in. They prepare the signature, but Jimmy comes in while Jey leans back, so Gable adjusts to missile dropkick Jimmy! Benjamin brings Jey up, and powerbombs him into Jimmy!

Then to Jey, PAY DIRT!

TWO!? Benjamin is shocked! Gable returns while Benjamin brings Jey up. Jey fights back, but takes the original dragon whip kick. Benjamin tags Gable in, Gable climbs up and SUPER Moonsaults onto BOTH Usos!

The Usos topple down and Philly fires up. Gable and Benjamin face a dilemma now: Which Uso is Jey? They choose one and put him in, but even the referee can’t be sure. The other Uso returns, and SUPERKICKS Gable! SUPERKICK to Benjamin! Jey climbs up and jumps for the Uce SPlash! TWO?! Now the Usos are shocked at how tough this first fall has become. Jey tags in Jimmy, and the Usos go to opposite ends. They climb up but Benjamin returns suddenly! He goes after Jey, and kicks him off the top! Jimmy jumps over, SUPERKICKS Benjamin, but then Gable catches him in the hanging armbar! Gable lets go, pushes Jimmy all the way to the Uso corner, but that’s where Jey tags in. Gable rolls with Jimmy but Jey bails him out. One superkick avoided but not the second! Or the third! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS!

The Usos finally take the first fall! However, Benjamin returns and tackles Jey before we can officially start the second! The referee tells Benjamin to stop but he won’t, he throws Jey into the post. He gets Gable up and the both go after Jey with stomps. Then they go out and beat down Jimmy with punches. The fans boo and jeer, but Gable & Benjamin don’t care. They still hit Jimmy with Doomsday to the floor!

The referee orders the challengers back to their corner, and then has them wait while he checks on Jey. Jey accepts and we continue.

The second fall officially begins!

Benjamin tags in but Gable still hits Jey with the rolling kick. Benjamin drags Jey up, but small package surprise, the Usos take the second fall!? They win already!! The look on Gable’s face says it all for him and Benjamin.

With a win like this, are the Usos destined to keep the Penitentiary open forever?

 

Commentary is joined by a special guest!

The legendary Jerry “The King” Lawler is here to call the 2018 edition of the namesake match!

The 2018 Men’s Royal Rumble Match!

Out of 30 men, only ONE can win the chance to challenge any champion he wants! The first entrant is… Aiden English?

No, WWE’s Drama King is merely out here for “Rusev Day,” which English also says is every day of the year. English also introduces the true first entrant: Rusev himself!

The second entrant in the Men’s Rumble is… Finn Balor!

Both men will have a tall task ahead of them if they want to be the winner, especially starting against each other. The bell rings and the two circle each other. They tie up, Rusev picks Finn up and goes to push him out already but Finn fights him off. Finn ends up on the apron but shoulders his way in. He punches Rusev but Rusev throws him down and drops an elbow. Rusev scoops Finn but Finn slips out to try and flip Rusev out. Rusev elbows Finn away, but Finn fights back with strikes. Finn runs but Rusev clobbers him against the ropes. Rusev runs, but Finn dropkicks him down! The clock counts down already, and the third entrant is: Rhyno!

The ManBeast of ECW comes out to great ovation. He enters the ring and goes right at the Bulgarian Brute. Rhyno and Rusev trade haymakers, Rhyno reverses a whip and tackles Rusev in a corner. Then a big belly2belly for Rusev, and one for Finn! The fans chant “E C Dub!” while Rhyno drags Finn up to knock him back down. Rhyno goes to throw Finn out but Rusev clobbers Rhyno from behind. Rusev whips but Rhyno reverses. Rhyno lifts Rusev up but Rusev fights out. Things speed up between the two bigger men, Rusev wheel kicks Rhyno down! The fans count down again, and the fourth entrant is: Baron Corbin!

The Lone Wolf wastes little time hitting the ring, or hitting the others. He uses haymaker after haymaker, then throws Finn across the way before booting Rhyno down. Corbin stmops Rhyno but Rusev comes after him. Corbin slides out then in to lariat Rusev down! The fans boo, but Rhyno evades Corbin tot hrow him with a belly2belly! Rhyno calls for his famous tackle, but Corbin gives him a Deep Six! Corbin eliminates Rhyno! Now Philly really boos him. Corbin swings on Finn, but Finn ducks and dumps him out, Finn eliminates Corbin! And the Lone Wolf throws a tantrum. He drags Finn out to throw him into barriers! The referees order Corbin to leave but the damage was done. In fact, the damage continues as Corbin drags Rusev out to give him End of Days! Corbin has muddied the Rumble already, and finishes up by giving Finn a Choke Slam Backbreaker! The countdown returns and out comes the fifth entrant: Heath Slater!

The One Man Band heads for the ring, but gets run over by Corbin on the way! Security continues to pressure Corbin out of the arena, but it doesn’t matter. Everyone is done, despite not being eliminated. The referees check on each man, from Finn to Rusev to Slater. The countdown hits, and we have the sixth entrant: Elias!

The Drifter makes his way to the ring, and has his pick of the litter. He kicks Slater while he plays the guitar. And he still has to ask, “Who wants to walk with Elias?!” It sounds like all of Philly does tonight. Elias says that “Time is just an illusion.” The only thing that’s real is the light within Elias. That clock won’t start until he gives us “the performance of the year.” Please, silence phones, hold applause and shut mouths so he can begin. “When I win the Rumble, I’ll finally show respect to this place. I’ll walk to the Rocky Statue, and spit right in his face! It’s Elias’ night!” But the clock DOES count. The seventh entrant: Andrade Almas?!

El Idolo brings his NXT Championship and Zelina Vega with him in an attempt to make this his biggest weekend ever! He gives Slater a kick for good measure, then rushes the ring and Elias. Elias and Almas brawl, and fans cheer “CIEN!” on. Elias throws Almas to the ropes, but Almas goes Spider-Man to show how Trainquilo he can be. However, Elias kicks him on the return, then whips him into the corner. Almas goes up and over, then pushes Elias into the back elbow. Elias sits down, Almas gives him CIEN KNEES! Almas drags Elias up, Hammerlock DDT denied for a fireman’s carry. Almas runs, Elias counters but then Almas escapes, Elias runs Almas over with a lariat! The Drifter catches his breath while we meet the eighth entrant: Bray Wyatt!

The Eater of Worlds makes his way out, and the Fireflies are there to greet him. Bray creeps up behind Slater, and throws Slater into the barriers! Bray goes after Elias, big yurinagi slam. Philly fires up while Bray goes into his spider walk. He brings Elias back up, but Finn returns to go after his old nemesis. Finn runs, but into the turn-around lariat! Bray also gives Almas an uppercut and then chokes him on the ropes. Rusev returns but can’t get back in because of Bray. The fans still cheer for “Rusev Day!” and it keeps Rusev fighting to return. But now we have our ninth entrant: “Awwww Philly~!” It’s The New Day’s Big E!

Big E runs to the ring, spots Slater, and brings the poor man up. And offers him pancakes. Big E gets in the ring but Wyatt goes right at him. E dodges and slams Bray with a belly2belly, only to get rocked by kicks from Elias and Rusev! The fans cheer for Rusev while Elias goes after Finn. Rusev goes after Almas, and now Finn and Almas both resist against their attackers. The six men in the ring pair off, and it’s time for the tenth entrant: Tye Dillinger! But, where is he? He’s getting mugged by #Kami!

Sami & Kevin take out their frustrations on the unsuspecting Perfect Ten! Then Sami takes Tye’s spot! While everyone else fights in the ring, Sami appears. He wipes out Slater and enters the ring. Whether or not this is legal, it is happening. Sami goes after Finn, Rusev goes after Big E, and Elias goes after Almas with Bray’s help. Finn escapes elimination, as does Almas. The eleventh entrant: Sheamus!

The Celtic Gladiator may be part of the WWE Raw Tag Team Championship match later, but he wants to get singles glory while he can. He finally puts Slater in the ring, but Slater springs up to clothesline Sheamus right out! Slater eliminates Sheamus! The fans are all fired up for Slater, including Slater. But then Bray hits him with Sister Abigail, and throws him out! Wyatt eliminates Slater, and the fans boo the buzzkill. Rusev goes after Finn, Elias goes after Bray and Almas goes after Sami. Big E gets up and goes after Elias while Finn escapes elimination again. The fans still cheer for “Rusev Day” while we get the twelfth entrant: The New Day’s Xavier Woods!

Woods hurries to back up his friend and also goes after Wyatt! Sami goes after him, but Woods whips Sami into Big E, yurinagi backstabber! The New Day works together, wheelbarrow splash on Elias! Together, they work on Elias at the ropes. They get him over but Rusev goes after Big E. The eight men pair off, but then Bray bumps Sami and Woods off each other. The countdown brings out the thirteenth entrant: Apollo Crews!

Titus Worldwide’s top client runs right in and goes after Bray. Sami struggles against Rusev, Apollo catches Bray with an enziguri. Crews goes after Sami but Rusev goes after Crews. Finn and Almas fight, Finn giving El Idolo some sharp chops. The New Day work over Elias while Bray moves around and finds Finn. Bray wants but is denied Sister Abigal, to instead take Finn’s double stomps! The clock brings us the fourteenth entrant: Shinsuke Nakamura!

The King of Strong Style promised #Knees2Faces, and in his first Rumble ever, he gives Sami a dynamic dropkick and Rusev a strike fest. He ax kicks Bray, then reverses Crews into the spin kick. The ring starts filling up while Nakamura drops a knee on Elias. The fans cheer for Nakamura while he goes after Elias with knees, and then gives him Good Vibrations. Sami misses his Helluva Kick, Nakamura makes him pay with the Top Shelf knee! Sami topples out from that, Nakamura eliminates Sami! Bray goes after Nakamura but Nakamura fights him off. The New Day goes after Rusev, and we get our fifteenth entrant: Cesaro!

The Swiss Cyborg is Mr. Halfway Point as he jogs out to the ring. He rocks everyone with European Uppercuts! Cesaro goes to throw Finn out while Bray goes after The New Day. Almas bails Finn out by going after Cesaro and then tries to throw him out. Cesaro escapes and rocks him with a EuroUpper. Philly still rallies for “Rusev Day!” as he throws hands on Cesaro. Rusev thinks he’s eliminated Cesaro, but Cesaro survives to give more EuroUppers. He and Rusev brawl, Rusev actually gets the “YAY!” Now we have the sixteenth entrant: The New Day’s final member, Kofi Kingston!

Kofi runs into the ring, but into a EuroUpper! Crews trophy lifts Cesaro to bring him to the ropes. Cesaro escapes, then dumps Crews to the apron. He rocks Crews with rights but Crews shoulders and shovels Cesaro. Cesaro slips off and gives Crews one last EuroUpper, Crews hits the floor! Cesaro eliminates Crews! The New Day work on Shinsuke and Elias while keeping Rusev down. Nakamura fights back while Cesaro takes over for Rusev. The seventeeth entrant: Jinder Mahal!

The Modern Day Maharaja marches right to the ring and Woods is ready for him. At least, it seemed so, but Mahal blocks and counters with a haymaker and a snap suplex. Mahal drops a knee on Woods, then an elbow. Cesaro fights off Rusev while Finn returns to going after Elias. Woods slips out an dropkicks Mahal, but Mahal throws him out hard! Mahal eliminates Woods! Big E gets revenge by throwing Mahal to the apron, but Mahal drags Big E out with him! They brawl on the apron, Mahal thrust kicks Big E! Mahal eliminates Big E! Now we get the eighteenth entrant: Seth Rollins!

The Architect may be a Raw Tag Team Champion but he still wants a singles title for himself! He runs right down to the ring and springboard lariats Bray! Rollins rallies, Slingblade to Elias, then Slingblade to Finn! Cesaro clobbers Rollins and goes to throw him out. Rollins escapes, and monkey flips Cesaro out! Rollins eliminates Cesaro! The Architect waves to say “see you later”, but then Rusev picks Rollins up! Rusev can’t quite get Rollins out, and meanwhile Kofi tries to eliminate Mahal to avenge the New Day. While Nakmaura fights Elias off, Bray goes after Almas, and Mahal throws Kofi over! But wait! Woods keeps Kofi’s other foot off the ground to keep him alive!

Kofi thanks Woods, but how is he to get back in the ring? Big E brings out a platter of pancakes for him to stand on!

Kofi uses the pancakes to pivot around, but Mahal blocks his reentry. The New Day have an idea: they’ll give Kofi a boost! Kofi leaps right over Mahal and is back in the ring! He dodges Mahal, and hits Trouble in Paradise, sending Mahal flying! Kofi eliminates Mahal! The New Day assault Mahal with more pancakes, but them Almas hits the Hammerlock DDT! He drags Kofi up and around, the New Day are in the way, so Almas throws him out the other end, Almas eliminates Kofi! The nineteenth entrant: WOKEN Hardy!

He vows to DELETE the remaining competitors, and starts by bumping Elias’ head off the buckles. Then he comes face to face with his “eternal enemy” in Bray Wyatt.

While Finn goes after Rollins, Matt and Philly chant “DELETE! DELETE!” But Rusev disrupts the madness by going after both Hardy AND Wyatt! Oddly enough, Hardy and Wyatt fight together and double clothesline Rusev! Hardy & Wyatt eliminate Rusev! The fans are displeased, but Hardy and Wyatt keep working together! Wyatt feeds Almas to the Side Effect, then they brawl! The alliance didn’t last long, but neither does this battle, as they tumble out together! DOUBLE Elimination! Rollins goes after Eilas while we get the 20th entrant: JOHN CENA!

Philly lets him know they think “John Cena Sucks~!” but he takes it all in stride as per usual. Cena throws his merch to the fans and rushes the ring! However, everyone from Finn to Rollins eyes Cena.

They all go after Cena for a 5v1! Then things pair off again, but Elias keeps on Cena. Cena denies The Drifter’s signature, and tosses him out! Cena eliminates Elias! He gives shots to Almas then Nakamura, and now we have our 21st entrant: The Hurricane!?

The former Cruiserweight Champion has returned to the WWE for the biggest opportunity possible! He and Cena are face to face, and fans are on Hurricane’s side! Hurricane runs, dodges, and grabs Cena around the throat, but Cena denies the choke slam to lift Hurricane up and throw him out! Cena eliminates Hurricane! Philly has even more reason to hate Cena… Though he’s eliminated, Hurricane is still in a good enough mood to pose for the fans. Cena works on the remaining four opponents, then focuses on Rollins. Rollins fights him off while Finn goes after Nakamura. We have the 22nd entrant: Aiden English!

The Drama King returns to officially participate. He enters and goes right after Rollins, and the fans return to cheering for “Rusev Day!” English stomps out Finn, then rocks Cena with a right. Almas fights off Rollins while English rallies on Cena. English goes after Finn again but Nakamura comes over. The fans duel over whether or not “Cena Sucks!” while Cena goes after Finn. Now we have the 23rd entrant: ADAM COLE, BAYBAY!

Despite being battered and bruised from his Extreme Rules match at TakeOver, he is here to make a name for himself against main roster superstars! Cole goes right at English, then Finn, then English again. Rollins goes after English but gets elbowed away. English gives Finn a second-rope ax handle. Finn kicks him down and English falls out! Finn eliminates English! Rollins returns to attack Finn, Almas goes after Cole but Cole enziguris Almas down. Cena goes after Nakamura while the clock counts. The 24th entrant: Randy Orton!

The Viper has won two Rumbles already, including last year’s, and wants the hat trick. Cena knocks down Finn while Orton rallies on Cole. Powerslam! He wants the RKO but his old foe Cena denies it. Almas swing kicks Orton, but then Almas jumps into an RKO!!

The Viper drags El Idolo up and throws him out! Orton eliminates Almas! He then stomps on Rollins, hoisting him up. Cole goes after Finn while Nakamura goes after Cena. The 25th entrant: Titus O’Neil!

The leader of Titus Worldwide heads to the ring and goes after Cena. Finn fights off Orton while Cole goes after Nakamura with Rollins’ help. Orton stomps on Finn and catapult guillotines him into the ropes. Titus shifts from Cena to Cole, throwing him over but having to scrape him on the apron. Nakamura goes after Titus but TItus powers him to a corner and sharply chops him. Now we have teh 26th entrant: The Miz!

The newly minted Intercontinental Champion has The Miztourage in tow. The A-Lister runs in and gives his A-List combination on Rollins before booting down Finn. Cena lifts Miz but Miz fights out, low DDT plants Cena! Nakamura and Titus work over Cole while Miz gives “It Kicks” to Cena AND Rollins! Miz powers up the buzzsaw but misses, Cena lifts but gets the Skull Crushing Finale! Rollins SUPERKICKS Miz down, then throws him over. Miz stays on the apron and survives. The 27th entrant: Rey Mysterio?!

The King of Lucha hits the ring, goes after Miz and tilt-o-whirls him down! He fires off shots, but Cole comes after him. Rey kicks Cole while the fans lose their minds, rolling headscissors! He keeps going, to huricanrana Cole out! Mysterio eliminates Cole! Miz rushes Rey but Rey is ready and shoulders him away. Springboard seated senton! Then the dropkick to the ropes, the fans know what’s next! Rey hits the 619!!

Orton goes after Nakamura while Rey reenters the ring. Here comes the 28th entrant: Roman Reigns!

Philly is NOT happy to see The Big Dog back in the Rumble after the last time. That aside, Roman enters the ring and goes right at Cena with an uppercut. Then an uppercut for everyone! Roman then eyes The Miz, the man who took the IC title from him. He goes after Miz with clotheslines, even though the fans boo and jeer. Roman unloads the close-range clotheslines, but then evades Titus to throw him out, Roman eliminates Titus! Roman goes after The Miz, but The MIz has the Miztourage save him! So they get a SUPERMAN PUNCH! Rollins gives Miz the Curb Stomp! The Shield Brothers stare down, and decide to work together to Shield Bomb Miz, onto the Miztourage! Rollins and Reigns eliminate Miz! Then Roman throws Rollins out, Romans eliminates Rollins! Philly boos and jeers but the Shield Brothers simply laugh it off. The 29th entrant: Goldust!

The Bizarre One enters his 12th Rumble, the second all-time! He goes after Orton, atomic drop to uppercut. Goldust goes to throw Orton out but can’t, so he stomps away on The Viper. Cena and Finn go back and forth, then Goldust goes after Roman. Cena brings Goldust up but GOldust slips out, atomic drop and uppercut again. And finally, the 30th entrant: DOLPH ZIGGLER!

Just when it seemed The Show-Off was done, he’s come right back! He takes his time heading to the ring, before going right at Cena! He swings a superkick but Cena blocks. Cena lifts Ziggler, but Ziggler lands on his feet out of the AA to SUPERKICK Cena after all! Ziggler works to put Cena out but Orton comes over. Orton blocks one kick but not the second SUPERKICK! Goldust walks over, Ziggler gose at him, but gets the powerslam. Goldust throws but Ziggler reverses, only for Goldust to punch Ziggler again. SUPERKICK outta nowhere! Ziggler eliminates Goldust! Nakamura goes after Ziggler but gets elbowed away, then the Zig Zag! Ziggler tunes up the band a la HBK, which the fans don’t really like. Nakamura blocks and goes for the inverted exploder, but Ziggler lands on his feet on the apron. Ziggler hits back, but Finn forearms and eliminates Ziggler! There are no more new entrants, we are down to a final six: Finn, Roman, Nakamura, Rey, Cena and Orton! Everyone regroups, and we have a bit of a 3v3 situation of legendary veterans and rising New Era stars.

Tension mounts as two generations of WWE wrestlers stare down. Then things explode into three brawls! Orton goes after Nakamura, Cena goes after Finn and Rey goes after Roman! Finn unloads on Cena but Cena still gives him the AA! Rey gets Roman down, 619 number 2! Orton whips but Nakamura reverses, yet RKO! The modern legends stand tall, but then RKO denied again! SUPERMAN PUNCH for The Viper, then Roman throws out and eliminates Orton! Rey dropkicks Cena and Roman, double 619!! Springboard seated senton, but then Finn throws out and eliminates Rey!

The final four are now Roman, Cena, Nakamura and Finn! The fans are loving this great Rumble, especially with Finn still in it when he started second. The four each have a corner, and stare across the way at the others. The tension mounts again as they all stand up. They approach each other, clearly working out who is with who. Roman and Cena glare at Nakamura and Finn, and it’s another brawl! Roman and Cena stomp out Finn and Nakamura respectively, and they both look at each other. Each man wants to return to Wrestlemania, but Philly tells them “You Both Suck!” That keeps Cena and Roman distracted long enough for Nakamura and Finn to rise up! Now Finn and Nakamura, familiar foes from NJPW and NXT, stand together. They feel it out, Finn gets the first strikes while fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” Nakamura turns it around, Top Shelf Knee! But Finn stays alive on the apron. He swing kicks Nakamura and reenters to knock Nakamura down. Finn whips but Nakamura reverses to knee and roundhouse Finn. Nakamura gives more knees, then throws but Finn turns it around. Sunset flip rolled through for a dropkick! The fans applaud and rally, but Roman and Cena return to run them over! Things return to “You Both Suck” but Cena says that’s all talk. They brawl, fans booing the whole way. Cena rallies with those shoulder tackles but ends up in a Samoan Drop from Roman! Roman stands up and fans boo stronger than ever. He locks, loads and takes aim at Cena. SUPER- Spin-out powerbomb! And that means “You Can’t See Me!” Slingblade from Finn! Finn then blasts Cena with the dropkick, and hits Roman with a Slingblade and another dropkick! Nakamura gets up, he gets a slingblade but gives back his own dropkick. The Rockstar fires up, runs but Finn jumps for double stomps! Cena gets up, throws Finn out, Cena eliminates Finn!

The fans boo as they see the Final Three are Cena, Roman and Nakamura. Therefore, Nakamura has all of Philly’s support. However, Cena and Roman focus on Nakamura with clubbing blows and big stomps. But then Roman turns on Cena, and the two go at it again. Cena rallies with those shoulders, and the spin-out bomb. “You Can’t See Me”, and Five Knuckle Shuffle connects. Cena lifts but Roman slips out, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Roman takes aim at Cena but has to shove Nakamura out of the way. The Big Dog lets out the battle howl, but Cena counters with an AA! Nakamura grabs Cena but Cena fights out. Cena goes to suplex Nakamura, but Nakamura resists. Nakamura suplexes Cena to the apron, then kicks at him. Cena shoulders in but misses, KINSHASA! Nakamura eliminates Cena!! That makes it just Nakamura and Roman!

And the fans are loving Nakamura’s chances! Roman can hear all the fans chanting for only Nakamura. The two stare down, and Nakamura dares Roman to “C’MON~!” Roman uppercuts but Nakamura forearms back and it is a big brawl! Nakamura gets the advantage, they speed up, SUPERMAN PUNCH from Roman! The Big Dog sees that Wrestlemania sign and drags Nakamura up. He throws Nakamura but Nakamura survives. Roman realizes he hasn’t won yet, so he wakls back over, to take a roundhouse! Nakamura climbs up and wraps Roman up in the ropes with a hanging triangle hold!

The King of Strong Style is working to choke Roman out, but Roman powers Nakamura back in, for a powerbomb! Both men are down from exhaustion, but the fans keep supporting Nakamura. The two stir, and Roman stands up first. He takes aim at Nakamura then lets out the howl. Nakamura knees the spear away, then boots Roman before a flying knee attack! Then, with the fans all fired up, KIN– SPEAR!! But Roman can’t capitalize out of further exhaustion. He sits up and gets to his feet, dragging Nakamura up with him. Nakamura resists by holding onto the ropes. Roman throws him off, they run, KINSHASA!! Roman is dazed, Nakamura throws him out and WINS!! The King of Strong Style is going to Wrestlemania!!

Renee Young holds an in-ring interview with Nakamura.

She congratulates the winner of this year’s Men’s Rumble, and asks the big question: Which title will he challenge for at Wrestlemania? Philly says it should be “AJ Styles!” and Nakamura agrees! It’ll be Nakamura VS Styles for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania!!

 

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship: Seth Rollins & Jason Jordan VS The Bar!

The Architect may have failed to win the Rumble, but he refocuses to keep the gold he won with the Gold-Blooded Son. Can they finally #BreakTheBar here tonight?

The Swiss Cyborg starts against the Kingslayer, as a revisit for their Rumble encounter. Cesaro knees and clubs Rollins down, then puts on a hammerlock. Rollins endures then snapmares out, things speed up but Rollins counters Cesaro with arm-drag after arm-drag. He even dumps Cesaro with a back drop and throws him with a huricanrana before dropkick’ing Cesaro down. Cesaro gets to the ropes for safety, so Rollins waits. Sheamus tags in, the two circle, and the Celtic Gladiator elbows out of a waistlock. He knees Rollins and whips him to ropes, but Rollins evades to crossbody and punch Sheamus on the mat. Rollins chops Sheamus, wrenches an arm, then goes to tag Jordan but Jordan gets distracted by Cesaro. Sheamus takes advantage with a knee and then carries Rollins to The Bar’s corner. Cesaro tags back in and The Bar mudhole stomps Rollins together. Sheamus embraces the heat before tagging back in. The Bar go Super Saiyan mule kick. Cover, TWO, but Sheamus keeps on Rollins by stomping on his legs. He yanks Rollins up but Rollins lansd on his feet to PELE Sheamus! Cesaro goes to stop Rollins but misses and is sent outside. Sheamus goes to stop Rollins but Rollins shoves him away. Rollins turns around but Cesaro yanks Jordan off the apron and shoves him to a ring post!

Sheamus then goes to Brogue but Rollins evades and sends him to the outside. The Bar regroups and Rollins DIVES onto them!

Rollins checks on Jordan, but has to fight off The Bar alone. Sheamus throws Rollins into barriers and then puts him into the timekeeper barriers. They go back into the ring, Sheamus climbs up top and takes aim. He waits for Rollins to stand up, to bring him down with a flying lariat! Cover, TWO! The medics check on Jordan while Sheamus tags in Cesaro. The Bar mug Rollins in their corner, not worrying about JJ. Cover, TWO, so Cesaro wraps on a chinlock. Jordan flounders around while fans rally for Rollins. Rollins stands up and fights back, but Sheamus tags in. Sheamus helps Cesaro whip and Bar Lariat Rollins down. Knee drop added on top, Sheamus stalks Rollins to a corner. Rollins gets to the apron, so Sheamus brings him up for the Beats of the Bodhrain! Rollins fights out and hotshots Sheamus, then gets to a corner. Springboard, Sheamus catches Rollins. Rollins fights out but he bumps heads with Sheamus. While the referee checks on Sheamus, Cesaro clotheslines Rollins down!

Sheamus tags Cesaro and they drag Rollins up, backbreaker elbow drop! Cover, TWO, so Cesaro chokes Rollins on the ropes. Jordan is still on the ground while the referee backs Cesaro off. Sheamus gives Rollins a cheap shot knee! Cesaro covers, TWO! Sheamus tags in, The Bar double whips Rollins and hits a double backbreaker! Cover, TWO, and The Bar grows frustrated. Sheamus fixes his Mohawk before tagging Cesaro back in. The Bar taunts Rollins with a tag because JJ clearly isn’t back. Cesaro slaps Rollins around but Rollins fires up and fights back! He still gets clubbed down, and Sheamus tags back in. Cesaro lifts Rollins while Sheamus climbs up, but Rollins leans back to dodge the flying lariat! He evades Sheamus again to send him into the post, and then evades Cesaro to send him outside. Rollins rolls to his corner but he still doesn’t have someone to tag. The Bar regroups and Cesaro tags back in. He runs at Rollins but gets an elbow. The two brawl, Rollins getting the edge. He whips but Cesaro reverses, Rollins comes back with a Slingblade!

Rollins boots Cesaro again, then hops up for a blockbuster! The fans start to fire up with The Architect. Rollins goes corner to corner for the forearm smash, then snap suplex roll through to Falcon- No, Cesaro escapes, but Rollins rolls him, TWO! He spins Cesaro around and now gets the Falcon Arrow, TWO! Mule kick rocks Cesaro, but Sheamus breaks the pin. Sheamus stomps away on Rollins, then returns to his corner to legally tag in. He drags Rollins up for EuroUpper after EuroUpper! Sheamus puts Rollins on the top rope then climbs up to join him. Sheamus prepares but Rollins fights out. Rollins keeps clubbing Sheamus but Cesaro tags in, and The Bar goes after Rollins together. Even so, Rollins fights Cesaro off and keeps after Sheamus. Cesaro returns, Rollins manages to SUPER hip toss Cesaro down! Rollins takes aim, and since he has the Latino Heat tights to match, he goes for the Frog Splash!

He hits both members of The Bar! They’re all down and gasping, but Jordan returns! He tags in, and dizzy as he is, he enters the ring. Jordan reconsiders, and tags back out. Rollins tries to get him to stay, but Cesaro drags Rollins in. Rollins fights The Bar alone again, and manages to build momentum until Cesaro rocks him with a EuroUpper. Cesaro brings Rollins up but Rollins ducks his swing, to hit the Kingslayer Knee!

However, Cesaro staggers to Sheamus and Sheamus tags in. Rollins mule kicks but BROGUE from Sheamus! Then tag back to Cesaro, A-Swiss-ted White Noise!

The Bar wins and are four time Raw Tag Team Champions! Rollins & Jordan may not have broken The Bar, but did The Bar break them?

 

WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman VS Kane VS Braun Strowman!

The Beast may have been dominate over men like The Rock and John Cena, and The Big Red Machine may be the Devil’s Favorite Demon, but neither of them have had an answer for the Monster Among Men! Who will prove themselves the TRUE Alpha Monster of WWE?

The bell rings and Lesnar goes right at Kane with shoulders in a corner. Strowman goes after them both, sandwiching them against the buckles before whipping Lesnar corner to corner for his own corner splash! The Monster gives Kane one, then dropkicks Lesnar!

Strowman clobbers Kane again, then boots Lesnar down. Lesnar gets up but Strowman denies the fireman’s carry with clubbing forearms and stiff knees. Lesnar uses his MMA striking to stagger Strowman, and then gets the fireman’s carry. Kane grabs Lesnar by the throat and Choke Slams him!

Strowman tackles Kane to a corner and unloads body shots and headbutts. Kane staggers while Lesnar rolls out of the ring. Strowman clubs away on Kane while Lesnar walks off what just happened. Kane grabs Strowman around the throat, but Lesnar SMACKS Kane with a chair!

Triple Threat rules allow for this, but Strowman punches the chair away to then lariat Lesnar down! Strowman throws Lesnar out of the ring and then Kane, the Monster claims the ring. However, this fight of titans continues on the outside as Strowman goes over to Lesnar. He throws Lesnar into the barriers, then takes up the steel steps. Strowman walks over to Kane to bash him with the steps, then does the same to Lesnar. Strowman holds the steps up victoriously, but this is far from over. The Monster assesses the situation, and decides to bring out a table! Philly loves the way he thinks! Strowman puts not one but two tables into the ring, then fetches Kane. He grins as he picks up the Big Red Machine and puts him in the ring. Strowman prepares one table sideways in a corner, then keeps Kane down with a stomp. Strowman puts the other table up in the opposite corner, but Kane gets to his feet. Kane grabs Strowman by the throat, so Strowman does the same back. It’s Strowman with the Choke Slam now!

Cover, but Lesnar breaks it just in time. He then German Suplexes Strowman once, twice, and yes even a third time! Philly is now Suplex City and Philly likes it! Strowman still stands up, but rather wobbly. Heyman is still shocked as Strowman suddenly scoops Lesnar and puts him through the table!

Cover, but Kane breaks this one. Heyman can barely watch as Kane and Strowman get to their feet. Strowman scoops Kane, but Kane slips out to shove Strowman through the other table!

Kane leaves Strowman in the wreckage, but Strowman digs himself out of it. While Lesnar is still out, Kane grabs Strowman, and CHOKE SLAMS him down! Cover, but Lesnar manages to break it. He manages to lift, Kane, and hit the F5! Cover, but Strowman deadlift German Suplexes Lesnar off it! Lesnar falls out of the ring and Kane makes his way under ropes. Strowman stands up and shakes out the cobwebs before going back outside the ring. He walks over to Lesnar to put him into barriers again! Then Strowman clears an announce table. He brings Lesnar over, but Lesnar revives to F5 him into the table!

The Beast stands up and walks over to another announce table. He deadlifts it onto Strowman, flashback to Summerslam! Kane revives behind Lesnar, and grabs him around the throat. Kane lifts Lesnar but Lesnar slips out, to F5 Kane into the table!

The Beast stands up and surveys what he has done single-handedly. But then Strowman rises from the dead to stare Lesnar down. Lesnar is shocked for the first time probably ever in his life. Even so, he leaps at Strowman, and the two brawl in front of the international announce teams. Lesnar falls back and smacks his head on the steel steps, and Strowman hurries to put him in the ring. Strowman reenters and with the fans behind him, he picks Lesnar up and gives him the Monster Slam!

But he won’t cover?! He wants Lesnar to get up for more?! Philly wants one more, too, and so Strowman hits Lesnar with a second slam! Kane returns and SMACKS Strowman with the chair! And SMACK and SMACK and SMACK until Strowman falls out of the ring. Kane has Lesnar to himself now, and he calls for a familiar finish. He drags Lesnar up and over, but Lesnar slips out of the Tombstone to shove Kane into the returning Strowman! Strowman goes down, Lesnar gives Kane one last F5 on a chair!

Lesnar covers, Lesnar wins! The Beast is still the WWE Universal Champion! All the carnage and chaos against two truly monstrous challengers, yet the Beast is still the reigning, defending and undisputed champion. Can anyone, man or monster, ever hope to dethrone him?

However, something else that is undisputed is Strowman standing in the ring again. He shouts “You didn’t beat ME!!” Will the Monster Among Men find his way back to challenging The Beast?

 

Inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble Match!

The Women’s (R)Evolution continues to grow stronger every day, and this historic first-time-ever is proof! Who will be the first ever Women’s Rumble winner? And who will she challenge for their title at Wrestlemania?!

First, the special ring announcer, Maria Menounos!

“No one has worked harder for this moment than these ladies.” Maria is honored to be part of this moment. She then introduces the special guest commentator, Stephanie McMahon!

The Raw Commissioner and principle owner joins commentary to show her support for the Women’s Division in this historic match. Next are the two Women’s Champions of the WWE. First, the Raw Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss!

And then the SmackDown Women’s Champion, Charlotte Flair!

The Goddess and the Queen sit ringside to watch this match with their own eyes.

Now for the first two entrants!

The Legit Boss, Sasha Banks, is Number One and rocking Wonder Woman inspired gear.

And The Lass Kicker, Becky Lynch, is Number Two! Both women are friends and rivals of Charlotte’s, as they are the Four Horsewomen of NXT and WWE. Which of these two women will last the longest in this match?

The bell rings and the two friendly rivals circle. They tie up and Becky gets a headlock. Sasha stomps on her foot and goes to push Becky out, but Becky blocks. Things speed up and Becky goes to throw Sasha but Sasha turns that around. Sasha goes for the backstabber but Becky holds ropes to deny it. The two go again at high speed, Becky arm-drags Sasha a couple times then puts on an armbar. The fans applaud while Becky goes after that arm but Sasha wants after her own submission hold. Holds don’t win Rumbles but it could give an edge, and they both think the same. They separate and fans applaud again, they rush each other and double clothesline as the clock counts down. We have entrant Number Three: The Riott Squad’s Sarah Logan!

Ms. #KentuckyStrong heads right to the ring and goes after Becky with stomps. Sasha gets up and helps her friend, but Sarah dropkicks her down. Becky fights back with forearms but Sarah pushes her away to clobber her with a lariat. Sarah points to the ‘Mania sign as she goes to push Becky out. Sasha bails Becky out again and gives Sarah forearms. Sarah reverses the whip to Pop-up headbutt Sasha. The muscle of the Riott Squad roars, but Becky puts her on the apron. Sarah went through the second rope so she’s safe from elimination as she gives Becky knees between the ropes. Becky ends up in a corner and Sarah stomps a mudhole into her. Sarah and Becky struggle against each other while we get Number Four: Absolution’s Mandy Rose!

Mandy saunters her way down the ramp and goes right at Sasha. She counters Sasha’s hip toss with a hip toss then scoops Sasha. Sasha slips out to try the same but Mandy throws her down by her hair. Sarah keeps on Becky in the other corner while Mandy toys with Sasha. Mandy tries to lift Sasha out again but Sasha fights back. Becky fights back against Sarah while Sasha runs, but Mandy knocks Sasha down with a knee strike! Mandy embraces the fans before hoisting Sasha up. Becky keeps on Sarah with stomps while Sasha fights back. The clock counts down and here comes Entrant Number Five: LITA!

The Hall of Fame and historic Women’s Champion makes a stunning return! She enters the ring with the stars of today and Philly already loves it. Lita stares down Becky and Sasha as the three circle, it becomes two Horsewomen against the Lady of Extreme. They double whip Lita but Lita kicks back, punches back, and rebounds for double clotheslines on the Horsewomen! Sarah gets up but gets kicked down, and Mandy pounces from behind. Mandy embraces the heat now as she decks Lita with a forearm. Mandy puts Lita in a corner and tries to throw her out, but Lita elbows back. Lita bumps Mandy off buckles then monkey flips her into more right hands. Meanwhile, Sasha gets Sarah onto the apron, only for Sarah to rock her with a right hand. Sarah stomps on Sasha but Becky bails her out. Lita gets Mandy to the apron but the Golden Rose rocks the legend back with a knee! Mandy gloats, but gets knocked down by Lita, Lita eliminates Mandy! Sasha wastes little time by going after Lita, and now comes Entrant Number Six: Kairi Sane!

The Mae Young Classic winning Pirate Princess makes a big splash just by appearing! She rushes the ring and goes right at Sarah with double ax handle and ax kick. Becky runs in, as does Sasha, but Kairi gets them with a DOUBLE Interceptor Spear!

Kairi goes after Lita with the double chops, then marches the plank. She goes corner to corner to hit Lita with the sliding forearm! Kairi climbs up via the bottom rope, and flying forearms Sarah down. Sasha returns but gets tripped up, sliding blockbuster! The fans fire up, Kairi climbs up again, then aims at Sasha. Anchors away with the Sailing Seas elbow drop!

Kairi dropkicks Becky and climbs up again while we reveal entrant Number Seven: Tamina Snuka!

Becky takes her own Kairi Sane elbow drop while the Daughter of Superfly makes her way out. Her first target is Kairi, who hits with a forearm, but then Tamina responds with a SUPERKICK! Sasha gets up, Tamina hits her with a roundhouse. Becky gets up, Tamina evades and SUPERKICKS her, too! Sarah roars in, only to take an elbow to the head. Lita stands up and kicks Tamina, DDT! Then to Sasha, Twist of Fate! Becky comes in, gets her own Twist of Fate! Lita goes to the top rope and the fans fire up. Even Lita knows it’s been some time since she’s done this, but she somehow manages the Lita-sault onto both Horsewomen!

She also avoids Tamina’s superkick while Kairi and Sarah brawl. The fans know “You still got it,” Lita! And Lita even baits Tamina to dump her out, Lita eliminates Tamina! But then Becky throws Lita out, Becky eliminates Lita! Philly boos and jeers the spoil-sport Lass Kicker, but they still count down for entrant Number Eight: Dana Brooke!

Titus Worldwide’s statistician tries her luck at the Rumble. She heads right to the ring but Becky is ready to stomp her out. The two brawl while Sasha and Sarah brawl. Becky goes to throw Dana out but Dana fights her off. Dana drives Becky down then handspring back elbows Sasha and dropkicks Sarah. She even carries little Kairi into a corner to ram in shoulders. Dana hoists Kairi up top but Kairi boots back a couple times. However, one big shove sends Kairi down, Dana eliminates Kairi! The fans boo while Dana stomps a mudhole on Sasha and Sarah stomps a mudhole on Becky. The clock counts down and we have entrant Number Nine: Torrie Wilson!

The Attitude Era heartthrob makes her own return for this historic event. Dana goes right at her, but Torrie hits her with a facebuster. Sasha runs in but Torrie whips her to a corner and hits a corner clothesline! Becky gets a dropkick but Sarah dropkicks Torrie first. Sarah roars as she stomps Dana right in the chest. Sarah goes after Sasha and Torrie even as the fans cheer Torrie on. Sasha goes after Sarah, but Sarah kicks her away. Sarah keeps trying with Torrie, but Torrie kicks her back. Dana and Becky brawl on the other side while Torrie knocks Sarah down. Dana changes her focus to Torrie, and the Horsewomen brawl in the meantime, but as Dana rushes in, Torrie dumps her to the apron. Torrie dropkicks Dana’s legs out, Torrie eliminates Dana! Becky gives Sasha a jump kick, and Torrie catches her breath while we get entrant Number Ten: Absolution’s Gladiator, Sonya Deville!

Time to hair up and square up as she makes her way to the ring. Sarah works on Torrie while Sonya goes after the Horsewomen. Sonya rains down hands on Sasha, but Becky bails her out with EuroUppers. Becky and Sonya exchange evasion, but Sonya knees low and throws Becky over. However, Sonya doesn’t notice Becky staying on the apron, she’s already going after Sarah. Sonya gives knee after knee, then gives more knees to Torrie. Sasha stomps on Sarah while Sonya whips Torrie to a corner. Torrie tries to go up and over but Sonya blocks and throws her to the apron. A roundhouse sends Torrie down, Sonya eliminates Torrie! And right in front of the champions, no less. The fans boo and jeer, but Sonya doesn’t see the problem. Becky goes right at Sonya while we get entrant Number 11: The Riott Squad’s Liv Morgan!

Ms. #LivStrong joins #KentuckyStrong in fighting off Becky. Sasha stomps on Sonya while Liv stomps Becky. However, Sasha bails out her fellow Horsewomen again. Sasha whips but Liv reverses, so Sasha goes up, only for Liv to catch her and throw her down. Liv hits springboard double stomps in the corner, then drags Sasha up. Sarah helps out and the Squad looks to eliminate the Boss. However, Becky comes back in and helps Sasha back, and now comes entrant Number 12: Molly Holly!

Another Attitude Era icon makes a stunning return! Molly heads in and gives Sonya a kick, Liv a forearm, and Becky a snap suplex! The fans go wild as she just lifts Sarah up and out, Molly eliminates Sarah! Molly keeps going as she whips Sasha but Sasha reverses. Molly slips out to climb up, 450 seated senton! But Sonya kicks Molly down, and roars victoriously. Liv attacks Sonya while Sasha and Molly roll under the bottom rope. Sonya and Liv brawl, but Becky goes after them both. Becky rallies, then gives Sonya a Becksploder! She, Sonya and Liv all fight in a corner while we get entrant Number 13: Lana!

The Ravishing Russian normally manages Tamina or her husband Rusev, but tonight, she wants to shine in the light! “Mrs. Rusev Day” enters but gets mugged by Liv and Sonya! They mock the made-up holiday while they toy with Lana. The fans are still strongly behind the First Lady of Rusev Day, and Lana starts fighting back! She SLAPS Sonya, then tackles Liv! She goes wild while the fans count down again for entrant Number 14: Michelle McCool!

The former teacher and Four Time Women’s Champion gets ready to teach these new girls a thing or two! She sees Liv and Sonya coming, evades to then boot Lana down before spinning around and fending off the other two. Michelle boots Liv down, but Sonya kicks Michelle low. Sonya whips but Michelle reverses, then gives her a knee in the corner. Michelle goes corner to corner to give a knee to Liv, too! She tackles Sonya and puts her on the top rope to rock with a EuroUpper then shoves her down, Michelle eliminates Sonya! Then she dumps Liv up and over, Michelle eliminates Liv! However, Molly Holly pounces on Michelle. The two lady legends struggle, but Michelle comes out on top as she tosses Molly right down, Michelle eliminates Molly! The fans go wild for Michelle, but Lana stands up and knocks her down. Lana says this is HER day, but Michelle just throws Lana out and eliminates Lana! The fans have mixed reactions but Becky comes back to go after the former champion. Sasha returns to help while we get entrant Number 15: Ruby Riott!

The Squad may be gone but their leader looks ready to exact revenge. Ms. Halfway Point rushes in and goes after the Horsewomen. Michelle fights her, too, though, but Ruby holds on to the ropes. Sasha tries now but Ruby still holds on. Ruby shoulders Sasha back and throws her down while Becky fights off Michelle. Becky rushes Ruby and goes to throw her out, but Ruby still holds on. Michelle stomps on Sasha while Ruby hotshots and STO’s Becky. Michelle gets Sasha to the apron but Sasha tries to drag her over while we get Number 16: Vickie “EXCUSE~ ME~!!” Guerrero!

The former General Manager and part-time competitor makes her own shrill return. Vickie marches right to the ring, and demands the others pay attention to her. She introduces herself, and demands they listen. The four others are listening, and Vickie realizes who else is in there. She tries to play buddy-buddy with Michelle from their days together on SmackDown. But instead, all four other women go after her, grab her, and eliminate Vickie! Vickie throws a small tantrum, but now we have Number 17: Carmella!

The FABULOUS Ms. Money in the Bank wants to also be Ms. Rumble, but she gets into an argument with Vickie on the way down. Vickie grabs Carmella’s MITB briefcase and knocks her down with it! The match continues with Carmella down on the outside. Becky tries to push Ruby out while Michelle tries to powerbomb Sasha. Sasha fights out and shoves Michelle back, then drives in double knees. Becky leg drops and elbow drops Ruby, but misses the last leg drop. Sasha goes after Becky know while Ruby and Michelle fight it out. Sasha changes targets again while we get Number 18: Natalya!

The Queen of Harts and first ever third generation superstar leaves her cat ears and jacket with Carmella, but Carmella takes offense. Carmella trips Natty off the apron! The Princess of Staten Island gets in and FABULOUS Kicks Michelle, then Sasha, and then after struggling with Becky, breaks off the FABULOUS Kick Ruby. Carmella returns to Becky with shoulders in a corner, but then Becky kicks back to hit a Becksploder! Now we have Number 19: Kelly Kelly!

A star Diva of the Ruthless Aggression Era and the WWE ECW brand, Ms. Double K slips into the ring and stares right at the two women’s champions. But then Natty throws her at the ropes! Natty boasts and poses but doesn’t realize Kelly hung onto the ropes. Kelly comes back and shoulders into Natty. Michelle boots Natty down, then Kelly kicks Michelle. Kelly whips but Michelle reverses, Kelly hits a tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Natty drags Michelle and throws her out, Natty eliminates Michelle! Kelly goes after Becky while Natty goes after Sasha. Carmella stomps Sasha while Ruby attacks Natty. Natty scoops Ruby but Ruby holds one while we get Number 20: Naomi!

Time for Philly to #FeelTheGlow! Naomi hits the ring, and headscissors Natty. Then she hands out Rear Views to her mentor, Kelly Kelly, to Carmella, and to Ruby Riott. Sasha goes after Naomi and bumps her off a buckle, but then Naomi kicks back. Becky comes in, she blocks the kick to dump Naomi down. Becky climbs to missile dropkick Naomi out, but under the bottom rope, then she gives Natty a Becksploder! The Lass Kicker gives Carmella a Becksploder, then throws Ruby at the ropes. Ruby dumps Becky, Becky barely holds on! Ruby claws at Becky’s fingers, Becky lets go and Ruby eliminates Becky! Becky lasted over 31 minutes being Number Two, but now we move on to Number 21: Jacqueline!

This Hall of Famer was also a Women’s Champion AND Cruiserweight Champion, and she storms in to run Carmella over and rain hands on Sasha. Natty goes after her but Jacqueline throws her off with an arm-drag, then knocks Ruby down with a stiff lariat. She trips up Kelly Kelly and drags her up. Natty helps Jacqueline but Kelly is stubborn. Ruby joins in but Kelly still holds on while we get Number 22: Nia Jax!

The Brutal Beauty and the modern-day Irresistible Force, Nia is a major favorite for winning this, especially coming in this late. Nia runs Carmella and Sasha over, then throws and eliminates Jacqueline! Kelly jumps on Nia but Nia throws her off and eliminates Kelly! Natty runs but gets run over by Nia and rolls out of the bottom. Ruby goes at Nia but she’s not enough, Nia lifts her up and trophy lifts Ruby, to throw her onto the top buckle! Then Nia gives Ruby one last push, and she eliminates Ruby! Naomi returns and kicks Nia, then kicks and kicks and kicks, enziguri rocks Nia! Nia blocks the headscissors with pure power, then dumps Naomi to the apron. Naomi kicks Nia back, but then Nia blasts Naomi off the apron. Naomi falls onto all the other women, but they keep her off the ground!

While Naomi rests on the barriers, how is she going to get back? Nia simply awaits Number 23: Ember Moon!

Even with one bad arm, the NXT Women’s Champion wants to make her mark in this inaugural Women’s Rumble! The Prophecy of Flame heads to the ring, title held high. She evades Nia and uses her good arm and both legs to strike at Nia. The fans cheer for “NXT! NXT!” while Ember hits a springboard dynamic dropkick! Ember’s bad arm slows her down, but she still fires up. She runs in and forearms Nia, and tries with one arm to lift Nia. Nia clubs Ember down with one arm, then tosses Ember across the ring with both hands! Ember crash lands and rolls out while Naomi tightrope walks the barriers. Naomi comes to a dead end, but then confiscates Maria’s chair! She then makes her way back to the ring, reminiscent of Kofi Kingston once upon a time.

Naomi wheelbarrows to the steps and she’s in the clear! She climbs up and jumps at Nia! Nia catches her, then throws her back out, Nia eliminates Naomi! Nia still controls the ring while we await Number 24: Beth Phoenix!

The Glamazon may be the one woman who can match the Brutal Beauty in the ring. At the same time, Beth competed in the Men’s Rumble before, so she’s no stranger to this environment. Beth stares Nia down while the fans fire up. Nia pie-faces Beth, so Beth throws forearms. Nia throws them back and we have a brawl! Philly declares “This is Awesome!” Nia puts Beth in a corner but Beth evades and Nia hits buckles. Beth tries but cannot lift Nia up. Nia knocks Beth down then says this is her time. Beth tries again, and manages the fireman’s carry!

The Glamazon tries to get Nia to the ropes but Nia fights out! Nia clobbers Beth but Natty returns! Natty and Beth, allies in the past, reunite to fight Nia! They run together, and shoulder Nia, but Nia falls through the second rope. Even so, Beth and Natty hug to celebrate this reunion. And then Natty ruins it by slapping Beth before throwing her out, Natty eliminates Beth! Carmella pounces on Natty and stomps away while we get Number 25: ASUKA!

The Empress of Tomorrow is still undefeated, can she add The Rumble to her growing legacy? She rushes the ring and scares off Carmella. Sasha runs in but takes the pop-up knee, then Natty gets the backhand. Carmella returns, the fans sing “Asuka’s gonna kill you~!” as Asuka kicks away at her. Asuka whips and hip attacks Carmella. Ember returns, still an active participant. These old rivals of NXT reignite the feud and the fans are loving it! They each dodge and block, Ember headscissors Asuka. Ember runs in, but Asuka evades, only to get kicked back. Ember adjusts, and hits a one-armed ECLIPSE!

Asuka goes down, Ember goes at her, but Asuka dumps her to the apron. She hotshots the bad arm and eliminates Ember! Asuka goes after Carmella again while we get Number 26: Mickie James!

The Six Time Women’s Champion wants to use this historic moment to earn a shot at #LuckyNumber7 on the biggest stage of them all! Mickie enters the ring and kicks Carmella back. She climbs up and jumps on Asuka with a seated senton. Mickie gets Sasha with the neckbreaker, but then Natty puts her in a corner for many shoulders. Mickie elbows back and slips out to the apron to shoulder back in, and hit another neckbreaker! Carmella and Sasha return while Mickie goes to push Natty out. Asuka kicks Mickie and goes after Mickie while we get Number 27: Nikki Bella!

The Fearless half of the Bella Twins makes her own return to the delight of a few Philly fans. She gives Carmella a knee to the head, then gives out forearms to Mickie and Asuka. Sasha kicks Nikki and whips her to a corner, but Nikki elbows back and hits the jumping enziguri. Nikki spears Natty down, then stares down Charlotte. Carmella kicks Nikki back while fans again sing “John Cena Sucks~!” Carmella bumps Nikki off her boot, then stomps a mudhole into her. She moonwalks back and mocks the “You Can’t See Me” before hitting the FABULOUS Bronco Buster. Carmella ends up on Nikki’s shoulders and panics as she approaches the ropes. Nikki forces Carmella off and to the apron, then a hotshot eliminates Carmella! Asuka kicks Nikki down then stomps her out. Sasha helps out with a rain of hands, as does Natty. Mickie decides to help while we get Number 28: BRIE Bella!

The other Bella Twin arrives to bail out her sister! She decks Mickie, then goes after Sasha and Natty, and even rocks Asuka. The fans chant “YES! YES!” for Mrs. Daniel Bryan, and she joins in as she activates #BrieMode! She knees Natty, then Mickie, and then Asuka and Sasha at the same time. The twins high five and fire up the crowd, but Nia makes her return. The twins dropkick her back out to keep her a non-factor. They then double suplex Natty while we prepare for Number 29: Bayley!

The Huggable One and the last of the Four Horsewomen runs in and shoulders both Bella Twins, then hits double hotshots! Natty walks over but Bayley boots her back. Asuka stomps Sasha while Natty reverses a whip. Bayely elbows Natty away and hits a flying EuroUpper. She Saido Suplexes Mickie, then goes after Asuka with a Bayley2Belly, but Asuka denies it. Asuka, the woman who defeated Bayley for the NXT Women’s Championship a couple years ago, swings and hits the back heel kick. She drags Bayley up and throws Bayley at the ropes, but Bayley holds on. Bayley fights Asuka off while Natty goes after Mickie. Finally, we have Number 30: TRISH STRATUS!

THE iconic woman of the Attitude Era is THE final entrant in this historic match. The fans are loving just her walk to the ring, and every other woman takes notice. Trish hits Natty with a Thesz Press, then throws everyone else around with fast strikes. The Bella Twins step to Trish but she chops them both back. Trish gives each twin a sharp chop against the ropes, then hits a DOUBLE Stratusfaction!

The fans know “You still got it”, Trish, even as Bayley boots Trish back. But Trish returns for Stratusphere!

Mickie gets up, and spots her favorite wrestler ever! The two circle and fans fire up. The two brawl with haymakers, then forearms. They go back and forth while the others return, Trish reverses a whip but Mickie kicks her away. Trish wants another Stratusphere but Mickie says “Not today!” However, Trish still kicks Mickie down and eliminates Mickie! Nia returns and runs Trish over! But then everyone else goes after Nia! Nia powers them all off like an explosion, and Philly has mixed reactions. Either way, Nia knocks each woman down as they get up. Asuka gets up and back heel kicks, then Trish gives the Chick Kick! Nia is staggered, the Bellas work together to drag Nia over the top rope! The others come in, and they all eliminate Nia! Philly again has mixed reactions, but then Sasha grabs Bayley and throws her out, Sasha eliminates Bayley! Charlotte is even more shocked that Sasha would do that to a friend. Either way, the first entrant is still in this while the Bellas fight off Asuka and Trish.

The final six are the Bellas, Sasha, Asuka, Natty and Trish. Sasha goes after Trish but Trish rocks her with a right forearm. Natty storms over and throws Trish down by her hair. She then puts Trish into the Sharpshooter just because! Trish endures the signature hold while she drags herself to ropes, then she flings Natty off of her. The two get up, Trish goes after Natty and dumps her to the apron. Natty holds on, but then a Chick Kick eliminates Natty! Asuka fights off the Bellas while Sasha goes after Trish. The Boss gets in Trish’s face, Trish kicks her and mocks the swagger. Trish goes for more Stratusfaction but Sasha tosses her up and over, Sasha eliminates Trish!! The Boss boasts, but Asuka creeps up behind her. The fans sing “Asuka’s gonna kill~ you~” again. The Boss and the Empress stare down and grin, but then realize they need to get rid of the Bellas first. They step closer to Brie, but Sasha sucker punches Asuka down! Sasha stomps away, and The Bellas join in. The three focus on Asuka, the other favorite, and hit a knee-facebuster and leaping lariat combo. Sasha adds on her running knee, then boasts alongside the Bellas. The Bellas stomp a mudhole into Asuka, then Sasha fires off furious forearms. “Nobody’s ready for Asuka, huh?” Sasha slaps Asuka and then turns her sideways, Stock Drop disrupted by the Bellas! The Bellas eliminate Sasha!! And Sasha’s face says it all.

The final three are the Bella Twins and Asuka, so clearly the fans are on Asuka’s side. The Bellas mock Sasha before going after Asuka. They try to push her over the top but she fights them both off. Asuka fires up and fires off HER “Emp-Yes Kicks”! She gives one buzzsaw to Nikki, then one to Brie! Asuka throws Brie up and over but Brie holds on. Nikki runs Asuka over, then takes time to gloat. She lifts Asuka up in the fireman’s carry, Rack Attack 2.0! Brie waits on the apron, Nikki sucker punches and eliminates Brie! Nikki says it’s nothing personal, it’s just business. Nikki then rushes Asuka but Asuka shoulders her back. Asuka reenters while telling both champions she’ll be seeing them at Wrestlemania. Asuka hits a big missile dropkick! Both women are down but the fans are fired up. Nikki and Asuka go to opposite ends, but Asuka is up first. She runs in, Nikki elbows and enziguris Asuka down! Nikki stands up slowly, fans boo and jeer while she drags Asuka up. Another fireman’s carry, and Nikki dumps Asuka over but Asuka holds on. Nikki uses that strong forearm, but it doesn’t take Asuka out. She isn’t sure what to do, so she runs in, but into Asuka’s roundhouse. Asuka then hooks a leg around on Nikki and pries her over to the apron. Both women are on the edge, and Asuka is on the attack. Nikki decks her with a forearm, but then Asuka trips Nikki with a kick! Nikki falls, Asuka WINS! The Empress of Tomorrow is the first ever Women’s Rumble winner!

The Raw and SmackDown Women’s Champions join her in the ring.

The Goddess and The Queen wait for The Empress to name who she wants to face at Wrestlemania. Asuka looks between the two, and each champion raises her belt to stake their own claim.

However, before Asuka can say or do anything, RONDA ROUSEY appears!!

Not even Stephanie McMahon knows what to make of this! Ronda heads right down to the ring, and Maria gives her a proper introduction. The MMA superwoman stands across from Asuka, Alexa and Charlotte.

Then she points at the Wrestlemania sign. The fans lose their minds, but what does this all mean?! Ronda offers a handshake, Asuka refuses it. Ronda returns to pointing to the sign again, but does anyone have any answers about this?!

One woman who does shake Ronda’s hand is Stephanie McMahon. Yet, still no answers for what is probably already the biggest moment on this Road to Wrestlemania!

 

My Thoughts:

This is probably the best Royal Rumble PPV in recent history. I loved just about everything, except for maybe two or three things. First, the second fall of the Usos VS Gable-Benjamin was disappointingly abrupt given how great the first fall was an instant classic. The Usos winning makes sense but not if it was going to be a top tier match followed by a random squash. Even just a couple more minutes to that second fall would’ve been better than what we got. Second was the Universal Championship Triple Threat, and it’s really because I’m bored of Lesnar winning again, and also suddenly. Everything leading up to the finish was perfect, from how the three behemoths were just slugging and slamming each other around to the sheer annihilation of the announce desks. Lesnar bumping Kane into Strowman to then finish was just a mood killer to me, though. I do appreciate Strowman pointing out Lesnar pinned Kane and not him, and Strowman has grown so much stronger since losing to Lesnar 1v1 that I really think Strowman would’ve won if his character chose to cover after one of those multiple powerslams.

But as I said, everything else was fantastic. The three kickoff matches were all quality, and big points for each of the winners. The handicap match opening the main show was an interesting play but it made sense when seeing how it ended and how #Kami used it as motivation to screw over an innocent Tye Dillinger. Then having three-fourths of the Raw Tag Team Championship match in the Men’s Rumble was another interesting choice but it didn’t take away from their great match. Rollins & Jordan now have a major rift between them that could lead to their Wrestlemania program, or at least an Elimination Chamber PPV match. Nakamura winning the Men’s Rumble was great, and I really didn’t expect it when he was in there with Cena AND Roman. But considering Cena’s had his win and even Roman has had his time, Nakamura winning was great and so many fans get what they want: Styles VS Nakamura 1v1! And of course, the main event of the night, the Women’s Rumble, the best Rumble of anything really. It had great returns from iconic former stars and booked the current stars splendidly. I almost sense a Heel turn in Sasha with how she behaved, and that’ll freshen things up in the Women’s Division. Asuka wins because she’s Asuka, and I’m really curious as to whether she’ll choose one or BOTH women’s champions to take on. Ronda Rousey appearing was an amazing surprise, too, but as she is only just now joining the WWE Women’s Division, she surely isn’t getting a title match already. Chances are, it’ll be something for Stephanie to bring spotlight onto her at the same time.

My Score: 9/10


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Revolution Results & Report! (3/3/24)

Revolution is a mystery!

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This is the biggest Revolution yet!

While the AEW World Championship is defended in a Triple Threat, Revolution is also Sting’s last match ever! Will The Icon retire undefeated? Or will the EVPs serve him a bitter “severance package?”

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale w/ Stokely Hathaway VS Julia Hart & Skye Blue; win.
  • Zero Hour – 12 Man Tag: The Bang Bang Scissor Gang VS Private Party & Team Triple J w/ Sonjay Dutt & Karen Jarrett; win.
  • All-Star Scramble: Chris Jericho VS Lance Archer VS “Powerhouse” Will Hobbs VS Wardlow VS Hook VS Brian Cage VS Magnus VS Dante Martin; wins and earns a future AEW World Championship opportunity.
  • AEW Continental Triple Crown Championship: Eddie Kingston VS Bryan Danielson; wins and
  • FTR VS Jon Moxley & Claudio Castagnoli; win(s).
  • Don Callis Family Feud: Will Ospreay VS Konosuke Takeshita; wins.
  • AEW International Championship: Orange Cassidy VS Roderick Strong w/ The Undisputed Kingdom; wins and
  • AEW TNT Championship: Christian Cage w/ The Patriarchy VS Daniel Garcia; wins and
  • AEW Women’s World Championship: “Timeless” Toni Storm w/ Luther VS Deonna Purrazzo; wins and
  • AEW World Championship Triple Threat: Samoa Joe VS Swerve Strickland w/ Prince Nana VS Hangman Page; wins and
  • AEW World Tag Team Championships Tornado Tag Match: Sting & Darby Allin VS The Young Bucks; win and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will begin later tonight]


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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Collision Results & Report! (3/2/24)

It’s an All-Star Collision!

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Who heads into Revolution with a win?

Just 24 hours before Revolution, AEW Collision has a Triple Threat Qualifier for the All Star Scramble! Penta VS Dante Martin VS Bryan Keith for the final spot!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Buddy Matthews VS ???; No Contest.
  • All-Star Scramble Qualifier Triple Threat: Penta El Zero Miedo VS Dante Martin VS Bryan Keith; Dante wins and advances to Revolution.
  • Mariah May VS Angelica Risk; Mariah wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn VS The Dark Order; The Acclaimed & Austin win.
  • Private Party VS Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal; Private Party wins.
  • Thunder Rosa VS Cassandra Golden; Rosa wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Trent Beretta, Hook & Daniel Garcia VS Christian Cage, Killswitch/Luchasaurus, Brian Cage & Roderick Strong; Christian, Luchasaurus, Cage & Strong win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Buddy Matthews VS ???

The House of Black’s Aussie Juggernaut opens Collision on Revolution Eve, but wait! Mark Briscoe drags Buddy out of the ring! The fans fire up but no, Mark is NOT Buddy’s opponent! This is revenge for the beatdown just last week! Mark SMACKS Buddy off the steel steps while the ref reprimands, but then Mark brings out a table! The fans fire up as Mark props that up against railing. But Buddy BOOTS Mark! And he SMACKS Mark off the steps! Buddy grabs a chair, but Mark kicks him low! Mark takes that chair and JAMS Buddy up with it! And SMACKS Buddy on the back! Mark tosses the chair into the ring, but Buddy knees low!

Buddy and Mark scrap, Mark ROCKS Buddy and slides into the ring. Mark then WRECKS Buddy with a dropkick! Buddy hits railing but Mark sets up the chair! Mark builds speed again and uses the chair to FLY! Direct hit, and through the table! The fans are thunderous as Mark rises up and high-fives the front row! Mark shoves Buddy into the ring, and he finds that spike! Mark storms into the ring with it, but Buddy asks for mercy! The fans say spoke him, but here comes Brody King! Brody drags Mark out, Malakai is also headed down here, but Mark dodges Brody to BOOT Malakai! Brody blocks the spike attack!

Brody choke grips Mark, but Mark LOW BLOWS him! Mark gets that chair again and he SMACKS away on Brody! Malakai runs up, but Mark uses the chair as a shield against the kicks! Malakai hobbles, Mark CHUCKS the chair into him! And Mark has the spike!! Mark storms up on Malakai while he’s down, and says this is payback! But then Buddy KNEES Mark down! Buddy saves Malakai, ROCKS Mark with forearms, then ROCKS him again. Buddy brings Mark up the ramp while throwing hands. Buddy underhooks, but Mark fights free! Mark back drops Buddy on the ramp! Then Mark CROSSBODIES Buddy down!

Mark still throws hands on Buddy, grabs something from the stage crew area, but Buddy storms up. Mark elbows Buddy away and- Wait, is that the switch for the pyro?! Mark presses a button, and the flames from Buddy’s entrance literally fire up! Buddy almost gets burned! Security rushes in but Mark keeps throwing Buddy around! Mark shoves Buddy to where the flamethrower is!! But then security swarms him before he can get the switch! The House regroups and retreats before facing disaster! Is Mark going to burn the House down with his own two hands?

 

Swerve Strickland speaks.

AEW shares footage from after Dynamite, The Realest having recovered from Hangman Page getting the jump on him. “I really don’t know what I should be pissed off at more: The fact that Hangman went out there and just ripped my $2,000 Jeff Hamilton exclusive jacket; or the fact that maybe I was just being a little too nice. I don’t really let my guard down too often, and in this business, you pay for it eventually. And it feels like I just paid for it. Swerve hung the Hangman and it was only right for the Hangman to swerve Swerve. You got me. I’ll never take my eyes off you ever again. This Sunday, you can’t get behind me. You gotta look me dead in my eye. I’m not gonna forget this.

“And as far as Joe, hm… I’m taking that championship. Whether I humiliate you on social media or in a promo, it doesn’t matter. I’m doing whatever it takes to walk out the historical figure of AEW, the first African American AEW World Champion. Whose house? Swerve’s House.” Angry yet focused, is Swerve truly the most dangerous man in that Triple Threat?

 

All-Star Scramble Qualifier Triple Threat: Penta El Zero Miedo VS Dante Martin VS Bryan Keith!

So far, it is Chris Jericho, Lance Archer, Will Hobbs, Wardlow, Hook, Brian Cage, and after last night’s Rampage, CMLL’s Magnus. One spot remains, will the eighth man have #CeroMiedo, represent Top Flight, or be looking for his next bounty?

The bell rings and the fans rally as the three stare down. The fans cheer for “CERO! MIEDO!” and Penta reminds Dante that they still owe each other. So listen! “CERO! MIEDO!” Penta pie faces Dante but then Keith shoves Penta. Penta takes the glove off! The fans fire up as Penta calls to Abrahantes, but then Keith HEADBUTTS Penta down! Then Dante SUPERKICKS Keith down! Penta gets up to SUPERKICK Dante! Penta KICKS Dante in a leg, KICKS Keith in a leg, “CERO! MIEDO!” Penta runs but into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Penta falls out, Keith DECKS Dante! Things get moving, Dante drops, hurdles then rolls back to headscissor! Then he dodges Keith to JUMP KNEE!

Keith falls out but Penta’s up top! Penta CROSSBODIES Dante, rolls off and keeps moving, SLINGBLADE! SLINGBLADE! Penta aims and KICKS Dante in the leg! Dante hobbles, Penta whips him to a corner but Dante reverses. Dante runs up, into a SUPERKICK! Penta then pops Dante up in the corner, SUPERKICK and BACKSTABBER! The fans fire up as Dante bails out and Penta takes aim. Penta builds speed but Keith is back to BOOT him! Fans are torn but Keith just reels Penta in. Keith underhooks but Penta wrenches out. Keith BOOTS the lariat away to then EXPLODER! Keith covers, TWO! Penta stays in this but also goes out of the ring.

Keith drags Penta back in, but Penta KICKS Keith in the leg! Keith CHOPS, so Penta CHOPS! Keith fires up and fires forearms! Penta wobbles but he ROCKS Keith again! They go forearm for forearm, Keith CHOPS and then DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Both men stay up so Dante DOUBLE CROSSBODIES them down! The fans fire up and Dante DIVES! Direct hit into Keith, then Dante runs to DIVE on Penta! The fans fire up again and Dante is feeling it as Collision goes picture in picture.

Dante drags Penta up, DECKS him with a forearm, then goes around the way. The fans fire up with Dante, but Keith BOOTS him down! Keith drags Dante up, CHOPS him, and Dante falls over. Keith turns around into Penta’s SUPERKICK! Penta drags Keith up, SMACKS him off the steps, then drags Dante up. Penta puts Dante against railing, hooks a leg around it, and KICKS! Penta assures the ref, he hit thigh and knee, not groin. Penta stands Keith up but Keith CLAWS Penta’s eyes! The ref reprimands but can’t do much more than that, and Keith KICKS Dante! Keith brings Dante up and into the ring.

Penta chicken wings Keith! Dante WRECKS Keith with a dropkick! But then Penta grabs Dante to spin him around on the apron, and KICK him back into the ring! The fans fire up with “CERO! MIEDO!” while Penta brings Keith into the ring. Penta keeps the chant going but Keith sits up with grit teeth. Keith seethes but Penta brings Dante up first. Collision returns to single picture as Penta CHOPS Dante! Dante CHOPS Penta! Then Dante CHOPS Keith! Keith CHOPS Dante and Penta! Penta SUPERKICKS Dante, Dante SUPERKICKS Keith, so Keith SUPERKICKS Penta! Then Keith and Penta DOUBLE SUPERKICK Dante!

Penta then kicks Keith low, reels him in, “CERO! MIEDO!” But Keith RAMS Penta into buckles! Keith fires off CHOPS and forearms! Penta shoves Keith away, but Keith comes back, only to be put up top. Keith HEADBUTTS Penta, reels him in, DIAMOND- NO, Penta stops that and Dante SUPERKICKS Keith! Penta uses Keith for a step, DESTROYER on Dante! Cover, Keith breaks it!! Keith saves Dante but also himself in this match, but “CERO! MIEDO!” continues to echo out in Huntsville. Keith storms up, but Penta KICKS and KICKS and “CERO! MIEDO!” Springboard, but into a BOOT!

Keith reels Penta in to underhook, but Penta fights free! Penta SUPERKICKS Keith, goes up a corner, but Keith RISING HEADBUTTS! Penta falls to the floor and Keith fires up! Keith snarls, storms up on Dante, but Dante catches him to a cradle! TWO, and Dante dodges Keith for the LEAPING sunset flip! Keith rolls through to KNEE! Underhook, TIGER DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Dante survives and the fans fire up again! Dante flounders around, Penta rises up, “This is Awesome!” Keith runs up but Penta GAMANGIRIS! Penta then brings Keith to the apron, but Keith CHOPS! Penta CHOPS back!

Keith snarls, Penta eggs him on, so Keith CHOPS! Penta CHOPS! Neither man is backing down, Keith throat chops! Then Keith fireman’s carries, but Penta fights free! Penta CLUBS away on Keith, reels him in, APRON FEAR FACTOR!! Keith falls to the floor and Penta puts him in. But Dante leaps from the corner! Penta SUPERKICKS Dante outta the air! Dante wobbles on the apron, but he still hurdles over Penta’s tackle! Penta turns around, into an APRON DESTROYER!! Dante hurries to go up a corner, aiming for Keith! MAMBA SPLASH!! Cover, Dante wins!!

Winner: Dante Martin, by pinfall (advances to Revolution)

A huge win for Angelo Dorado, he is the final man in the All-Star Scramble! Will Dante use his speed and agility to snatch that golden ticket to the top?

 

AEW shares more footage from after Dynamite.

AEW Media caught up with Hangman Page backstage, and asked him about the attack on Swerve. Is he really not hurt? Hangman asks back, “Do I look hurt, you dumbass?! I’m fine, I’m in the match, and I’m sorry I took advantage of the trust of the people tonight, but I had to do it! I had to do it! I would rather DIE than have Swerve win the world championship! I would rather DIE than not win it myself! I did what I had to do! He’s hurt! He’s hurt, he’s weakened, he can’t have it, he won’t have it! I won’t let him! I had to do it! I had to do it!” The Cowboy seems to think he had to do what he did, but what will he do in order to finish things at Revolution?

 

BREAKING NEWS for Revolution!

After going back and forth with Julia Hart & Skye Blue, Kris Statlander & Willow Nightingale team together against The House of Black for a big Zero Hour tag match! Will the TBS Champion and her sidekick bring down the dynamic duo? Or will the Galaxy’s Greatest Babes with the Power prove The House does NOT always win? Plus, while The Bang Bang Scissor Gang tests out the combination of The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn tonight, they’re ALL going to team together against a rather eclectic six pack. Willie Mack, Private Party, Jay Lethal, Jeff Jarrett & Satnam Singh are teaming together, but will they be brought down by the AEW Trios & ROH World Six Man Tag Champions?

 

Mariah May VS Angelica Risk!

“Timeless” Toni Storm’s superfan and self-proclaimed protege is back in action, looking to keep her win streak going. Will this be the night she impresses the AEW Women’s World Champion? Or is she simply taking a risk?

The bell rings and Risk circles with Mariah. They tie up but Mariah kicks low! Mariah CLUBS Risk, puts her in a corner, and then puts some major stank on the DOUBLE CHOP! The fans cheer, Mariah stalks Risk to ropes and puts her through to pull her against the ropes! The ref reprimands and counts, Mariah lets go at 4. Risk sputters and coughs, but Mariah pulls her against ropes again! Mariah runs side to side to DROPKICK Risk in the back! Mariah winks to the camera and then brings Risk up. Mariah whips Risk to ropes, scoops her, and spins and spins and spins for the SIDEWALK SLAM!

Risk writhes while Mariah soaks up the cheers. Mariah blows a kiss to Nigel McGuiness and he is rather dramatic about it. Mariah smiles and goes back to Risk. Risk throws hands but Mariah CLUBS her down. Mariah puts Risk in a corner, then digs her boot in! The ref counts again, Mariah lets off at 4 and says she just deserves a slap on the wrist. Mariah then drags Risk up, snapmares her and runs, to basement dropkick! Risk flounders and Mariah shrugs. Mariah kicks Risk around, drags her up, but Risk ROCKS her with haymaker after haymaker! Mariah shoves Risk then DECKS her! Mariah runs up to KNEE Risk down!!

Mariah storms around, drags Risk back up and fireman’s carries, to hit MAYDAY! Cover, Mariah wins!

Winner: Mariah May, by pinfall

Nigel finishes marking out, and here comes Toni Storm! Storm goes right down to the ring and Mariah fangirls over her role model! Storm gets in the ring, but bypasses Mariah to get a mic. “Deonna Purrazzo, I must speak with you right now. Please come to the ring right this instance.” The Virtuosa does make her way out here, and storms right into the ring. Storm stays back and says, “Deonna, please. Hasn’t this gone far enough? Look at us! Look at what we’ve become. Is this really what we trained for? Is this really what we starved for, Deonna? Our friendship, destroyed. A new ta-too, a broken leg, a broken arm. All just to win a match. Is it worth it?” The fans sure think so! Storm isn’t so sure.

So Deonna, Storm says from the bottom of her heart, she loves Deonna. Her ability, her determination, and… that there is only room for one. And as long as Storm shall live and breath, it will never be Deonna! Deonna tells Toni, “I love you, too. I love… that you have your head so far up your own ass, you’re going to lose the one thing that started this entire charade to begin with! And I love, Toni, I love that you have forgotten the most important detail about me. I am the best friend and the worst enemy. I hope you have a bidet. It’s going to be really hard to wipe your ass when I break both of your arms!”

The fans fire up and Storm is unsure how to respond to that. But very well. Goodbye, old friend. Toni brings out lipstick to freshen up her make-up, and she kisses Deonna on the cheek to leave a mark. But Deonna fires forearms! They brawl, Deonna TACKLES Storm, and Mariah runs in to stop it! Mariah TOSSES Deonna away and helps Storm get away. But then Deonna runs up to BOOT Mariah! Deonna reels Mariah in and slashes her throat. This is for Storm! STORM ZERO on Mariah!! Deonna shows Storm that anything Storm can do, Deonna can do better. Will that also apply to being the AEW Women’s World Champion?

 

Six Man Tag: The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn VS The Dark Order!

While it was a bit rocky, Jay White & Colten Gunn made it work with Daddy Ass, so now the other half of the Bang Bang Scissor Gang gives it a go! And that means Platinum Max has a rap! “Bang Bang Scissor Gang, doing our thang!” But then Jay White gets too buddy buddy and it throws Caster off! Fans boo but White apologizes. Caster’s lost his window now, can he get back on the beat in the match? Bowens still says, “Huntsville, Alabamaaa~! The Bang Bang Scissor Gang has arrived! Scissor Me, Daddy Ass!” And he does~!

The trios sort out and Austin starts against Alex Reynolds. The two circle, feel things out, and tie up. They go around, Reynolds headlocks, but Austin wrenches out to headlock back. Reynolds powers up and out, drops down then swings, but Austin ducks ‘n’ dodges and trips Reynolds up! The fans cheer, Austin JABS, JABS, JABS and then two steps for the HAYMAKER! Tag to Caster, he and Austin double whip Reynolds to ropes. They DOUBLE HIP TOSS and we get a shot of “Juiceboard.” Caster brings Reynolds up but Reynolds RAMS him into Dark Order territory! Uno tags in, the Dark Order mugs Caster, but Caster fires off haymakers on them all!

Caster ROCKS Uno again and again, then dodges to DROPKICK! Reynolds runs up, but into a back drop! Silver runs in but into an atomic drop and RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Caster swaggers, but Uno stands up. Caster scoops to SLAM Uno, then tags in Bowens. Bowens tags Austin and Bowens goes up. Time to SCISSOR ME TIMBERS! The remix works just like the classic! Fans fire up as it’s guns and scissors up! But the flow is off again, and Silver BOOTS Bowens! Silver ELBOWS Austin, dodges Caster, and feed to Reynolds, POP-UP UPPERCUT! Uno runs to BOOT Austin then DDT him! Cover, TWO!

Austin stays in there for the BBSG but Uno stays on him with buckle bumps. The Dark Order isolates Austin as Collision goes picture in picture.

Uno DECKS Austin, mocks him as he crawls for the BBSG corner, then STOMPS the hand! Austin writhes, Uno tags Reynolds, and they get Austin up in an open corner. Uno CHOPS, Reynolds clotheslines, and then Reynolds snapmares to IMPLODER SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Austin hurries to ropes and the fans rally up. Reynolds storms up on Austin, taunts Billy & Colten, then tags in Silver. They double whip Austin to ropes to double drop toehold and DOUBLE BASEMENT DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Silver scowls as he stays between Austin and The Acclaimed. Silver sits Austin up to KICK!

Austin sputters, Silver KICKS him again! Then Silver sucker punches Bowens down! The ref reprimands while Collision goes to break.

Collision returns and Uno is again taunting Austin to tag his team. Uno then drags Austin up, whips him away, but Austin uses that to BLAST Silver & Reynolds! Uno blocks Austin’s kick but the ref refuses to play along! Uno is upset, but Austin gets a leg and he gives it to the ref! Now the ref is okay with it, and Austin hits the NECKBREAKER! The fans fire up while Austin and Uno are both down! Uno and Austin crawl, their teams reach for them, and Hot tags to Bowens and Reynolds! The Five Tool Player rallies on the Dark Order! ROLLING ELBOW for Uno! ROLLING ELBOW for Reynolds! Then Rock Paper Scissors SUPERKICK for Silver!

The fans fire up as Reynolds gets the same, plus the FAMOUSER BULLDOG! Bowens shouts, “EVERYONE! LOVES! THE ACCLAIMED! BANG BANG!” But then Uno drags Bowens out and POSTS him! Caster CLOBBERS Uno, fires off on him, but Silver DIVES! Down goes Caster, but Billy tells the Meat Man to watch himself. Silver just flexes and says, “I’m freakin’ jacked, baby!” Silver shoves Billy and the ref has to stop the rest of BBSG from going after Silver! But this lets Uno & Reynolds both get Caster up, and Silver runs in! PENDULUM BOMB!! Reynolds covers, AUSTIN BREAKS IT! What a save!

Uno CLUBS Austin, runs up, but Austin gets around the boot! Dragon sleeper, SWINGING NECKBREAKER! Austin says “SUCK IT!” but Silver tags in and CLOBBERS him! BOOT WASH to GERMAN SUPLEX! Silver & Reynolds have Bowens isolated! Silver clotheslines, GAMANGIRIS, and whips, but Bowens reverses! The ROLLING ELBOW from Reynolds hits Silver! Bowens tags Caster, then clinch for THE ARRIVAL! Caster is up top, MIC DROP!! Cover, BBSG wins!

Winners: The Acclaimed & Austin Gunn, by pinfall

Jay White slides in to give the boys their belts, and he scissor fingers with Caster. The gang makes it work again, and look ready for Revolution’s 12 Man Tag! Will the super group be unstoppable despite the dysfunction?

 

Backstage interview with Kris Statlander, Willow Nightingale & Stokely Hathaway.

Speaking of dysfunction, Lexi Nair is with the trio of Galaxy’s Greatest Babes with the Power and their manager, nothing the loss to Skye Blue just on Dynamite. However, they do have the tag team match against Skye & Julia tomorrow night, are they having a different tactic going into it? Stokely wants to “address the elephant in the room” and go with the word of the day, “accountability.” He was watching a lot of The View, he is a Whoopi stan, so hey, he just wants to say sorry. Willow says put apologies aside. No more talking, they need to get on the same page. Tomorrow is not about friendship, it is about Revolution!

Willow warns Julia & Skye, “Stat and I are gonna kick your ass!” The Babe with the Power has flipped the switch from happy to angry, is tomorrow night’s Zero Hour going to be the last time the House of Black gets the better of her and Statlander?

 

Tony Schiavone is in the ring.

He brings in one of the men who gets a chance at an AEW World Championship opportunity in the All-Star Scramble. It is the one and only… WARDLOW! The Undisputed Kingdom’s War Dog makes his way to the ring and he just takes the mic away. “You know the deal.” Schiavone bows out and Wardlow says, “Looks like I finally got somebody’s attention around here, huh?” Fans sound a bit torn but Wardlow says, “Two years ago, I won the Face o the Revolution Ladder match. One year ago, I choked out your King. This year, FINALLY, I get my shot at the world heavyweight championship, after I beat all the other ‘all-stars’ in the match.”

Fans boo but Wardlow says the real question is: Who’s it gonna be? Wardlow VS Hangman? He’ll slap the Cowboy’s mustache into the third row and send him back into depression! Wardlow VS Swerve? The fans like him, right? It’s Swerve’s House, right? Wardlow will kick the door of that house down and whoop Swerve’s ass from the basement to the attic, because nobody else gets to eat before him! So swerve back into your lane and dance your ass to the back of the line! Swerve’s House only exists in Wardlow’s World! Maybe it’ll be Wardlow VS Joe. The fans chant for “JOE! JOE! JOE!” but Wardlow says he is so sick hearing these “dumb hillbillies” chant for Joe!

Wardlow says that he hopes it IS Joe! Because everybody knows that Joe is in Wardlow’s spot! And this time, Wardlow will finish the job. Not only is Wardlow going to take his spot, take his title, but beat Joe so badly that Joe will be forced to put on a headset and sit at the announce desk where he belongs! YEAH, Wardlow is him! He’s been him, will always be him! And tomorrow night, Wardlow reminds everyone that he is STILL the Face of the Revolution! Wardlow is the Uncrowned King of AEW, because this is no longer wrestling! This is WAR! But wait! Here comes Chris Jericho!

Wardlow huffs and puffs as The Ocho makes his way out here, mic in his own hand. Jericho asks a question: What exactly is Wardlow going on about? Swerve, Hangman and Joe? They are all great competitors, but Wardlow’s not fighting those three! He’s in the Scramble, and maybe you don’t know Jericho, but he’s not an all-star, he is one of the greatest to ever do this! And if Wardlow thinks he’ll just pass over him and six other men, six of the greatest performers worldwide, here’s some information for you. Jericho is the Ocho because he is an eight-time world champion, and the very-first AEW World Champion!

The fans cheer and Wardlow mockingly claps. Jericho says that makes the score 8-0 in Jericho’s favor cuz Wardlow ain’t won sh*t. The fans cheer that! So before Wardlow disrespects Jericho and says he’ll go right to the top, Jericho will remind Wardlow that it’s been four YEARS since Jericho lost that title to Jon Moxley in one of the greatest matches in AEW history, and Jericho hasn’t had even a chance to get it back, or even sniff it. So tomorrow at Revolution, this isn’t just another match for Jericho, this is a chance for him to get back to where he thinks he can be, to where he knows he can be, and that is the AEW World Championship!

Jericho knows he’s good enough. The question is: Is Wardlow? Wardlow chuckles but Jericho says Wardlow’s complaining about being overlooked and pushed aside. Thousands of people used to chant Wardlow’s name, he had a rocket that was put on upside-down, blah blah blah. Does Wardlow think that maybe it wasn’t any of those things? Maybe the people stopped chanting because Wardlow just wasn’t good enough. Maybe it’s that aren’t as good as you think, “Mike.” Wardlow scowls at Jericho using his first name. But y’know what, Chris? You’re right. Because Wardlow was this close to the top of the mountain that he could smell it.

But after Double or Nothing, Wardlow shows up for work, just to take a step backwards. And then the next week, another step, and another, and another. So yeah, that pisses Wardlow off to the point that he let it eat him away, to where he was taking work home and he let it ruin his personal life. Wardlow lost his best friend to this, and he lost himself! But after sitting at home for three MONTHS with no phone call, Wardlow slowly started to remember who he was. And he did what he have done so many times in his life: pick himself up off the floor, put himself back together, and then came back here to remind ALL OF YOU just who the hell he is!

BECAUSE HE IS WARDLOW! The biggest and baddest SOB to ever step into the ring! And he doesn’t give a DAMN what your name is, how many titles you’ve won, and just like he said last week, Wardlow is done eating the scraps! The fans fire up as Wardlow says if Jericho doesn’t think Wardlow’s good enough, well, Wardlow’s right here. Feel free to come down and show Wardlow so Wardlow can remind Jericho! Oh, if Wardlow wants Jericho to prove something, fine. Jericho will take that rocket off his back and shove it up his ass! Right, Huntsville? But wait! HOBBS CLOBBERS JERICHO! Wardlow chuckles, but Hobbs says watch this!

Hobbs rains down fists on Jericho, then tells Wardlow that HOBBS is the biggest and baddest! Fans boo but Hobbs says they’ve got one more day before this happens! The fans chant for “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” The Scramble is beefy, will it be one of the behemoths that comes out on top?

 

Backstage interview with Serena Deeb.

Lexi is now with the Professor of Pro-Wrestling, and says she is arguably the most experienced woman in the AEW locker room today. And currently, she is undefeated. But we’ve also seen a new side of her. Tell us just what’s going on. Deeb says not only is she undefeated in her return, she is undeniable and unstoppable. She’s putting on clinic after clinic every single week. And to be honest, no one’s really even challenged her in the ring yet. And that makes sense, because she is the Professor, the Woman of 1000 Holds. To be honest, she doesn’t think the competition she’s faced so far knows the difference between a wristlock and wristwatch.

So if you’re listening, if you’re watching, and if you consider yourself one of the best, step into Deeb’s Dojo and test yourself against the most elite wrestler. She’ll be here each and every week showing the world that nobody does what she does in that ring, and why Deeb is The Final Boss. A huge challenge has been issued, will anyone step up?

 

Private Party VS Christopher Daniels & Matt Sydal!

Marq Quen & Isiah Kassidy want to finally be at the top of the AEW Tag Division, but they’ve got to keep up the pace if they wanna reach it. Will they do just that against the Fallen Angel & Zen Assassin? Or will the former ROH World Tag Team Champions show them what it takes to really get there?

The teams sort out and Sydal starts against Zay. They circle and talk trash, Zay blaming Sydal for the loss in the Trios Triple Threat while Sydal says he was carrying Private Party. The two shove, then Sydal arm-drags! Sydal taunts Zay, dodges him, then tilt-o-whirls to RANA! Sydal then ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA again! The fans fire up and Sydal runs up again. Tilt-o-whirl ARM-DRAG! Quen runs in, but into an arm-drag! Then Daniels gets in to arm-drag Quen! Zay arm-drags Daniels, but Sydla arm-drags Zay! The teams regroup and the fans cheer but the ref wants everyone to calm down. Quen and Daniels back off, but then Sydal and Zay tag them in.

The fans cheer as Daniels and Quen circle now. Quen is annoyed by how many are cheering for Daniels and not him. Quen and Daniels then tie up, Quen headlocks, but Daniels throws body shots. Daniels powers out, Quen rolls over the dropdown and starts up the “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” chant. Daniels smirks, runs up, but Quen trips him up! Quen speeds up, steps over Daniels, “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” Daniels is annoyed but he runs up. Quen bypasses but Daniels steps on him now! Daniels says “SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!” but then wags his fingers. He does the Curry Man Dance! The fans cheer but Quen runs up, into a hip toss!

Tag to Sydal, he and Daniels mug Quen, then Sydal whips Quen into a corner for the GAMANGIRI! Daniels feeds Quen to the ROUNDHOUSE then adds an STO! Sydal gets the fans fired up for the STANDING MARIPOSA! Cover, TWO! Sydal taunts Quen, brings him up, and KCIKS a leg! Tag to Daniels, he and Sydal double wrench Quen to bring him to his knees. Sydal KICKS and Daniels BLINDSIDE LARIATS! Cover, TWO! Quen stays in this and Collision goes picture in picture.

Daniels is annoyed but he brings Quen up to headlock. Quen powers out, drops down, and Zay gets a cheap shot in! Zay gets away from Daniels, and Quen DROPKICKS Daniels down! Daniels ends up on the apron, Zay tags in so he can jump in, springboard and STUNNER Daniels off the apron! Daniels staggers around, Zay distracts the ref so Quen can CLOBBER Daniels! Zay goes out to shine Daniels’ head, then put him in the ring. Zay stomps Daniels, then puts him in a corner. Zay stomps a mudhole now, then tags Quen. Private Party says “STOMPS! STOMPS! STOMPS!” but they stop as the ref counts.

Quen kick steps and rolls back to taunt Sydal, then goes back for Daniels. Quen UPPERCUTS Daniels, puts him in the corner, and digs his boot in. The ref counts, Quen lets off at 4, but Zay CHOKES Daniels behind the ref’s back! Sydal protests but that only lets Zay do more! Zay lets off in time, then tags in. Private Party whip Daniels to atomic drop and ENZIGIRI! Quen then sweeps Daniels’ legs and Zay adds the HIP DROP, into a CAMEL CLUTCH! Quen runs to LEAP FROG STOMP, and then Zay BLASTS Sydal off the apron! Sydal is furious and the ref reprimands Private Party, but they just soak up the heat.

Zay brings Daniels up but Daniels throws body shots and forearms! Daniels runs but Zay LARIATS him down! Zay stays between Daniels and his corner, then he brings Daniels up to snapmare and chinlock. Zay grinds Daniels down, Daniels endures, and Collision returns to single picture. Sydal coaches Daniels as he fights up, and Daniels throws body shots. Zay CLUBS away on Daniels, shines the bald head, then kicks low. But Daniels stops the Twist of Fate! Zay comes back, into a FLATLINER! Both men are down and the fans rally up! Zay and Daniels crawl, hot tags to Quen and Sydal! Sydal DROPKICKS Quen!

Sydal JUMP KICKS Quen, ROUNDHOUSES him, then JUMP KICKS Zay! Sydal KICKS Quen, KICKS Zay, repeat! The fans fire up, Sydal dodges Private Party and DOUBLE RANAS! Then QUESTION MARK KICK for Zay! Quen swings but Sydal gets under to wrench and lift, AIR RAID CRASH! Cover, TWO! Quen is still in this and Sydal grows frustrated. Sydal basement dropkicks Zay into buckles, then he runs corner to corner at Quen. Quen dodges and the splash hits buckles! Zay runs in, but Sydal BOOTS! Sydal runs up but Kassidy ducks, Quen BOOTS Sydal! Quen reels Sydal in, Kassidy goes up, but SWANTON NECKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, TWO!!

The fans fire up and Quen can’t believe it! Quen calls to Zay, they get Sydal up to mug him. Private Party double whip, Sydal KICKS Quen then HEEL KICKS Zay, and a ROUNDHOUSE to Quen! Tag to Daniels and he JABS away on Private Party. Quen kicks low, Private Party double whip, but Daniels ducks the lariats! Sydal & Daniels LARIAT Private Party! The fans fire up as Sydal goes up and Daniels brings Quen around. Daniels underhooks but Kassidy saves Quen! Quen back drops free! Sydal leaps over Quen to METEORA Zay! Daniels is back up, but Quen dodges to Michael Jackson “HEE HEE~,” only for Daniels to dodge the Pele!

Daniels reels Quen in for ANGEL’S WINGS!! Cover, but wait, who’s storming down the ramp? It’s TRIPLE J! Jeff Jarrett and Sonjay Dutt distract the ref, while Jay Lethal gets in to give Daniels a LETHAL COMBINATION! Lethal drags Quen onto Daneils and now the ref sees the cover, Private Party wins!

Winners: Private Party, by pinfall

Quen & Zay get an assist from their future tag partners in Revolution’s 12 Man Tag! Sonjay does his best to dance to the music, but will this dirty half dozen find a way to beat all the Six Man Champions tomorrow night?

 

Thunder Rosa VS Cassandra Golden!

Serena Deeb may be undefeated in her return, but so has La Mera Mera! The former AEW Women’s World Champion wants to get some gold again, will she make it 5-0 in 2024? Or will this Collision be Golden?

The bell rings and the two circle. The fans rally as the two tie up and ago around. Golden shoves Rosa away, but Rosa shrugs that off. Golden runs in but Rosa gets her in a facelock! Rosa throws knees into Golden, but Golden powers up to throw Rosa away! Golden runs up, Rosa dodges the boot to BOOT Golden! Rosa eggs Golden on, then CHOPS her! And LARIATS her! Rosa fires up and the fans are with her! Rosa kicks Golden around, asks who is questioning her return, then bumps Golden off buckles. Rosa CHOPS, then CHOPS again! The fans fire up as Rosa stands Golden up and CHOPS again! Rosa then brings Golden around, fireman’s carries, but Golden fights free!

Golden ROCKS Rosa and Rosa staggers to a corner. Golden runs in, but Rosa dodges to SHOTGUN Golden down! The fans fire up and Rosa runs corner to corner to HYDRAULIC DROPKICK! Rosa pushes Golden out of the corner, climbs up the corner, and she DOUBLE DIVING STOMPS! Golden writhes but Rosa still keeps on her! COBRA CLUTCH STRETCH! Golden taps, Rosa wins!

Winner: Thunder Rosa, by submission

That’s a new twist to La Mera Mera’s arsenal! And she says it’s story time! “I’m still here, right? La Mera Mera hasn’t left. I know you wanna push me aside, but I won’t back down. Because it’s my time. And remember, get a little closer, because you’re gonna get burned!” Is nothing and no one going to stop Rosa from taking a title in 2024?

 

8 Man Tag: Orange Cassidy, Trent Beretta, Hook & Daniel Garcia VS Christian Cage, Killswitch/Luchasaurus, Brian Cage & Roderick Strong!

There are many titles on the line this Sunday, and the AEW International Championship and AEW TNT Championships are no exception! Freshly Squeezed will be facing the Savior of the Backbreaker while Captain Charisma will be facing the Dragonslayer, and let’s not forget the Cold-Hearted Handsome Devil and Machine are both in the All-Star Scramble! Which quirky quartet captures some critical momentum just 24 hours away from Revolution?

The teams sort out and while Garcia is glaring at Christian, Christian of course backs down. Instead, we get Brian Cage and #JustTrent. They tie up, Cage shoves Trent to a corner but Trent dodges the clothesline. Trent CHOPS, Cage runs up but Trent dodges again to headlock. Cage powers up and powers out, then he runs Trent over! “Who betta than Cage, huh!?” Trent scrambles to his feet, talks it over with his corner, and tags in Garcia! Garcia dares Christian to step up but it’s Roddy who tags in instead. Roddy and Garcia circle but Roddy SPITS at Cassidy! Cassidy leaves that alone so Roddy and Garcia tie up.

Roddy and Garcia go around, Roddy wrenches through to wristlock. Garcia rolls, rolls and rolls to get free! The fans cheer as Garcia wags his finger. Garcia and Roddy feel things out, tie up, and Roddy wrenches to wrangle Garcia with another wristlock. Garcia fights up, but Roddy wrenches again. Garcia grabs at Roddy for a clinch, pushes him around and turns him, then slips to a headlock! The fans cheer this technical exchange as Roddy pries at the hold. Roddy pops out the back to headlock and hit the takeover. Garcia headscissors, Roddy moves around, and Roddy turns Garcia over. Roddy then ties the legs up, and he smacks Garcia on the head.

The fans boo but Roddy stares Garcia down. Garcia stands, they tie up, and go around. Garcia puts Roddy in a corner, the ref counts, and Garcia lets off slowly, to CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP again! Garcia whips corner to corner, runs up and clotheslines, then brings Roddy in! Garcia lifts but Cage makes the save! So Garcia fires shots on Cage! Cage takes a swing but Garcia ducks, and Hook is there to ROCK Cage! They pinball Cage around, then Roddy runs in. Garcia sends Roddy into Cage, then UPPERCUTS Roddy! Garcia feeds Roddy to Hook’s SAYANAGI! The young studs fist bump and the fans cheer.

The ref wants someone to get in, so Killswitchasaurus and Captain Charisma step up! Cage also joins in, but then Cassidy & Trent back Hook and Garcia up! The fans fire up for the stare down, Collision goes picture in picture.

The ref has everyone cool off, but Christian still swipes at Garcia. Garcia kicks at Christian but this boils back down to just Garcia and Roddy. Roddy tags Cage back in, he circles with Garcia. They tie up, Cage RAMS Garcia into a corner! And again, and again! Cage then CHOPS Garcia while Prince Nana talks trash. Cage soaks up the heat, runs corner to corner, but Garcia BOOTS him! Cage tries again but Garcia dropkicks the legs out! Cage hits buckles, Garcia does his dance! Then Garcia BOOT WASHES Cage halfway out the ring! Garcia drags Cage up, UPPERCUTS him, then whips Cage to ropes. Cage reverses and Christian gets a cheap shot in!

Garcia swings on Christian but Christian scurries away, and then Cage CLOBBERS Garcia! Cage tags Roddy and Roddy drags Garcia up to CHOP him in a corner. And CHOP again! Roddy brings Garcia around, tags in Luchasaurus, and they mug Garcia. Luchasaurus scoops to SNAKE EYES Garcia, then runs to CLOBBER him! Luchasaurus stays between Garcia and his team, then drags Garcia up. Luchasaurus TOSSES Garcia to the corner, fires off body shots and an UPPERCUT, then tags in Christian. Now the Patriarch of AEW wants after Garcia, and he CHOKES Garcia against ropes as Collision goes to break!

Collision returns and Cage has Garcia in an open corner. Cage whips corner to corner, gets the Terminator drums started, then runs in. Cage blocks a boot to ROCK Garcia! Cage then scoops Garcia, but Garcia slips fere to shove him into the corner! Garcia climbs up on Cage and he rains down fists! The fans count along, but Cage shoves Garcia down at 6! Cage then drags Garcia up for the deadlift SUPERPLEX! Cage shouts, “Who betta than Cage?!” Fans boo but Cage tags Roddy. Roddy deadlifts Garcia for a BACKBREAKER! Roddy stomps Garcia, tags Christian, and they stomp Garcia together while fans boo.

Christian keeps Garcia from his team, puts him back int he corner and CHOPS! Tag back to Roddy, he CHOPS Garcia! Roddy CHOPS again, then tags Cage. The stomping resumes, and then Cage drags Garcia up. Cage RAMS Garcia into the corner, RAMS him again, then soaks up the heat. But Garcia fires off hands on the rest! Luchasaurus grabs Garcia by the neck, but Garcia HOTSHOTS the arm! Fans fire up, Cage runs in, but Garcia leaps at him! Cage picks Garcia up to suplex, but Garcia DDT COUNTERS! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! Hot tag to Roddy and he hurries, but hot tag to Trent!

Trent rallies on Roddy as revenge for what The Undisputed Kingdom has been up to! Roddy swings, Trent dodges to METEORA! Christian gets in, but he gets a GERMAN SUPLEX! Trent holds on, GERMAN SUPLEX again! Then the HALF ‘N’ HALF! Fans fire up as Trent dodges Roddy and gives him a TORNADO DDT! Trent builds speed and he DIVES, into Luchasaurus’ hands! APRON CHOKE SLAM! Trent flops back down and Luchasaurus snarls. Roddy and Christian regroup with the team as Luchasaurus puts Trent in. Roddy stomps Trent, then digs his boot in. Trent goes to the apron but Roddy uses that to ROPE GUILLOTINE!

The fans boo and Trent flounders, but Collision again goes picture in picture.

Trent sputters, but Cage stomps him on the apron! The ref is too busy with Trent’s team as they protest so Cage gets away with that. Luchasaurus then CHOPS Trent in a corner! And ROCKS him! And stomps him! Luchasaurus drags Trent up, whips him corner to corner hard, and Trent tumbles up and out to the floor! Luchasaurus roars, Trent sputters, and the ref is busy with Cassidy so Christian gets a cheap shot in! Roddy wants one but the ref is paying attention to them by then. Luchasaurus fetches Trent into the ring, then keeps him from his corner with a chinlock. Luchasaurus CLUBS away on Trent’s chest!

Luchasaurus drags Trent up, tags in Christian, and The Patriarchy mugs Trent. Christian snapmares Trent and then claws at Trents’ face! The ref reprimands, Christian lets off to stare Garcia down, but Garcia almost gets a shot in! Christian taunts Garcia, brings Trent up, but Trent throws a forearm! Christian ROCKS Trent in return, then clamps on a SLEEPER! Trent sputters and Collision returns to single picture as the fans rally up. Trent fights as Christian squeezes tight, and Trent throws body shots! The fans fire up as Trent runs, but into a kick! Then a REVERSE DDT! Fans boo but Christian goes up a corner. Christian DIVING HEADBTT FLOPS as Trent moves!

The fans fire up while both men are down! Trent and Christian crawl, their teams reach out, hot tag to Roddy, and he CLOBBERS Trent to deny Cassidy! The fans boo as Roddy mocks the hands up and hands into pockets. Trent crawls while Roddy gives him the “devastating” kicks a la Cassidy. The fans boo as Roddy stomps Trent, then hauls him up and around, for a BOSTON CRAB! But Trent rolls right through to BOOT Roddy away! Hot tags to Cage and Cassidy! Cassidy ducks Cage to bump him off buckles! He does the same to Christian! Then another for Cage! Cassidy climbs to CROSSBODY Christian!

Cassidy SHOTGUNS Luchasaurus, dodges Cage and tilt-o-whirls, only for Cage to stop the DDT! But then STUN DOG MILLIONAIRE hits! Cassidy DIVES onto Roddy, goes back in and tilt-o-whirl DDTS Cage! Cover, TWO!! Cage survives and Roddy shouts at Cassidy, “You want some?!” But it’s Luchasaurus who grabs Cassidy! And Garcia! But they break free, dodge Luchasaurus, and ORANGE PUNCH! SHINING WIZARD! Roddy gives Cassidy a SICK KICK! But Garcia CHOPS and SLAPS Roddy over and over! Then SAIDO! Christian SPEARS Garcia! But Hook clinches, EL CAMINO! The fans fire up but Cage aims at Hook!

Hook swings on Cage, but into a FULL NELSON SLAM!! Cassidy runs in, but into an F5!! Cover, Garcia AND Hook break it! The fans fire up, Luchasaurus reaches out to tag in off Cage. Hook is still after Cage, Garcia joins in, but Luchasaurus grabs Cassidy. Trent goes after Luchasaurus and now Best Friends mug him! Roddy gets up, Cassidy BLASTS him off the apron! Cassidy DIVES, but into END OF HEARTACHE!! Cage powers out, but Hook & Garcia dodge to DOUBLE LARIAT him and themselves out of the ring! Trent is on Luchasaurus with a SLEEPER BACKPACK, and he’s bringing the dinosaur to his knees!

The fans fire up but Luchasaurus pries at the hold. Luchasaurus has a second wind and he THROWS Trent away! Roddy’s got Cassidy down in the Strong Hold!! Trent stagger sup, into the JURASSIC HEADBUTT! Luchasaurus snarls, dares Trent to get up, and then choke grips, for the JURASSIC CHOKE- VICTORY ROLL!! TWO!!! Luchasaurus escapes, Trent SUPERKICKS him! Luchasaurus stays up, so Trent SUPERKICKS again! Luchasaurus flounders, Trent aims from the corner, but Christian runs up! Trent DECKS Christian, but Nick Wayne CLUBS Trent! EXTINCTION LARIAT!! Cover, Patriarchy and friends win!

Winners: Christian Cage, Luchasaurus, Brian Cage & Roderick Strong, by pinfall

All the extra help on the outside steered things in their direction, and now the TNT Champion has momentum going into Revolution! Taven & Bennett then show up so they can help Roddy mug Cassidy! The Undisputed Kingdom vows Cassidy won’t even make it to tomorrow night! Cage and Hook brawl, Luchasaurus & Christian mug Trent! Cage whips Hook hard into railing! Luchasaurus & Nick get chairs for Papa Christian and Matthew Menard shouts from commentary! Daddy Magic storms in, but Luchasaurus HEADBUTTS him down! Then Luchasaurus gives Menard the FULL METAL CHOKE SLAM!!

Menard writhes as the chair is bent from his body hitting it! Hook baits Cage in and sends him into steps! Christian is still after Garcia, but Hook leaps to LARIAT Cage down! The Undisputed Kingdom has let off of Cassidy, but Garcia turns things around on Christian! Garcia CLUBS away on Christian and chases him up the ramp! Then he sends Christian into the LED screen! It is still chaos up and down and all around ringside, but will Christian survive Red Death to still be TNT Champion? Does Cassidy stand a chance of retaining the International Championship when he can barely stand on his own two feet? All this and more will be answered tomorrow night at Revolution!


My Thoughts:

A great Collision here, especially as the go-home to Revolution. I like the move of Mark attacking Buddy to “cancel a match,” and then Mark became a one man wrecking crew to really escalate things between him and The House of Black. I’m thinking if Mark doesn’t get allies to help him, then he should have some sort of three match series with The House. Mark will face each member 1v1, from Buddy to Brody to Malakai, and who knows how that goes, but Mark beating Malakai would be a good blowoff that also gets Mark towards a title story for the Summer. And really good promos from Swerve and Hangman to top off things for Revolution, with Hangman having a rather manic and desperate take on being a Face turning Heel. That’s a much more realistic turn in his character rather than the usual “I’m just a bad guy now” kind of stuff.

Really good segment from Wardlow, Jericho and Hobbs. While it’s not really good that Tony Khan books his people into these positions where their characters are always going, “It’s about time I get to do something in this company!” at least Wardlow is making the most of it with how passionate that promo was. And then while Jericho maybe goes one line too long for his part, at least Hobbs just beats Jericho down to make his point. Go-home math probably doesn’t work here, Jericho isn’t suddenly going to win out just because of this. I am still going with Wardlow as first pick, Hobbs as second.

Speaking of the Scramble, great Triple Threat, and a great win for Dante. I did not expect that, I really thought it was gonna be Penta, but Dante is another great high-flyer to get in on a rather bulky field. Great win for Mariah May, though I don’t think her matches have really gone long enough to showcase everything she can do. But it was also a great segue for Storm and Deonna to have their final face to face. Deonna stands tall because she puts the hurt on Mariah, that makes me think Storm retains and we slowly turn the corner to where Mariah gets fed up with Storm not caring about her at all, despite taking all these hits for her.

Great win for Thunder Rosa, and her little mini-promo after was really good, too. Again, feels like a case parallel to Wardlow about being a little annoyed at having to wait for stuff. Rosa did show up during the hype towards Collision’s debut, but then was not on a single Collision for months. Good promo from Deeb, too, and I want to say her saying “Final Boss” is some plug for Mercedes Mone to show up and be “THE Boss,” what with Big Business in Boston happening in a couple weeks. And apparently we’re not getting a TBS Championship or even a contender’s match. However, perhaps Willow & Kris VS Julia & Skye establishes someone as a #1 contender through the rankings to build towards the next PPV.

Really good stuff out of Bang Bang Scissor Gang, including their use of dysfunction within the group. They still win out because sadly, The Dark Order’s resurgence was only on ROH and then they got brought back to AEW just to eat losses. But with this being the second week in a row Caster can’t get a rap out, something is about to fall apart between the BBSG, whether we want it to or not. Meanwhile, Triple J helps Private Party win, maybe Jeff Jarrett wants to try and make a super group of his own. And apparently Lethal is onboard, because last we saw they were still arguing, so maybe Revolution swaps a super group we want for one that doesn’t make sense.

And great 8 Man Tag main event with a lot of stories plugged at once. The Heels winning made sense, and Trent taking the loss while Luchasaurus gets the win also makes sense. The math isn’t really affected by that necessarily, because then the chaotic brawl happens and we get varied results. Cassidy was beat down, so I’d think he beats Roddy. Meanwhile, Garcia threw Christian down before cameras cut away, so I guess that means Christian finds a way to win. Which makes sense, we just saw how Christian has three minions and Garcia only has Daddy Magic watching his back. That is, if Edge doesn’t show up to help Garcia.

Adam Copeland costing Christian the title rather than taking it himself would be good stuff for their feud, which doesn’t even really need the title. Edge VS Christian, The Final Chapter, just needs Luchasaurus to man up and turn on Christian and weaken the Patriarchy.

My Score: 8.8/10


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