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Mitchell’s Ring of Honor Report! (2/24/18)

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ROH WRESTLING TELEVISION, Episode 336

All images courtesy of the Fite.TV app and streaming service.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • SoCal Uncensored’s Frankie Kazarian & Scorpio Sky VS The Young Bucks; the Young Bucks win.
  • ROH World Television Championship: Silas Young w/ Beer City Bruiser & Brian Milonas VS Kenny King; King wins and becomes the new ROH WTVC.

PLAY BY PLAY

Last Week on ROH TV…

The ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championships were on the line between the Bullet Club’s Hung Bucks and the trio known as SoCal Uncensored. The referee was distracted by action on the outside, causing him to miss Christopher Daniels tap out moments later. It was then that Scorpio Sky used one of the title belts as a weapon to knock out Matt Jackson! Daniels covered, and the SCU won! Or so they thought.

 

The new Enforcer, Bully Ray, came out to correct this “Wild Wild West” attitude Daniels and friends have. Bully came to a consensus with the fans, and they decided that this match would restart! The Hung Bucks struck with triple Superkicks, and officially retained their World Six Man Tag Championships! The SoCal Uncensored and all of the ROH Roster learned, there’s a new sheriff in town, and he’s a Bully.

 

Speaking of, Bully Ray is already in the ring.

And he catches those up who missed it, he is officially The Enforcer in Ring of Honor. “And there’s always been one thing that stuck out to me about this wrestling company.” That one thing was the word itself: Honor. “The honor of the pro-wrestling that takes place in this ring” makes Bully proud to be the Enforcer of the “best pro-wrestling company on the planet.” Atlanta agrees to that with a chant of “ROH! ROH!” “For everybody here,” Bully thanks them for supporting this company, and he thanks everybody at home watching for supporting this company. “We’re going to give it to you, tonight is about all thriller, no filler!” The fans love the sound of that, let the show begin!

 

SoCal Uncensored’s Frankie Kazarian & Scorpio Sky VS The Young Bucks!

The Heavy Metal Rebel and the King of Sting are here, but where is the Fallen Angel? For that matter, two-thirds of the ROH World Six Man Tag Team Champions are here without their third. Given the antics from last week’s title defense, it might be a decision from The Enforcer that this stays just 2v2.

That aside, the Code of Honor is not upheld as Kaz & Scorpio both sucker punch–and kick–The Bucks! The bell rings and fans boo while Kaz & Scorpio keep up the unfair attack. They whip Matt & Nick into opposite corners, then run in for corner clotheslines. Fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” while SCU whip the Bucks at each other. However, Matt becomes a step stool and Nick leaps off him to flying forearm Scorpio down. Then Kaz gets caught in a drop toehold and the pop-up dropkick. Kaz rolls out of the ring, the Bucks whip Scorpio and double hip toss him down. The Bucks backflip and double low dropkick him, then headscissor dropkick Kaz off the apron. Atlanta applauds while The Bucks pace about, but then really fire up when they see the American Nightmare walking out!

Cody applauds his Bullet Club friends from the stage, and the fans give him an ovation as he heads down to commentary. ROH’s highest paid wrestler enjoys the attention while we go to break.

ROH returns and to Cody giving thumbs-up but Matt being brought into the SCU corner. Kaz tags in and clubs Matt in the back. Scorpio joins in on mugging Matt while Cody insists “Bullet Club is Fine.” The fans chant “Young Bucks! Woop Woop!” while Scorpio whips Matt into a corner. Kaz runs in but Matt uppercuts him away. Matt boots Scorpio then says “You’re dead!” with a corkscrew cutter! He then dodges Kaz and tags in Nick! Nick shoulders into Kaz, then slingshots over. Nick dodges Kaz and even gives him an extra kick into the buckles.

Scorpio returns and Nick goes after him with a swift roundhouse kick. Nick back elbows Kaz while he’s hung up on the ropes, then goes after Scorpio again. Scorpio puts him on the apron, but gets another kick from Nick. Nick slingshots and double stomps Scorpio, then drives Kaz down with a draping backstabber! Cody and the fans love what they’re seeing, as does brother Matt. Nick tags Matt and both Bucks go over to Kaz. They bring him up then Matt whips Nick in, but Kaz puts Nick on the apron. Matt runs in but Kaz turns things around to hoist him up to the top rope. Nick slingshots but Kaz hangs him up, then Kaz rocks Matt with a leaping enziguri! Kaz slingshots at Nick and DDT’s him into the apron!

Scorpio returns to leaping SUPER STEINER Matt outta nowhere! Matt lands on that troubled back, but Scorpio keeps going. He runs and FLIES onto Nick!

Nick crumples under Scorpio, and Cody grows concerned. The fans fire up, though, they like this. Scorpio and Kaz return to Matt, assisted tilt-o-whirl DDT! Kaz struggles to drag Matt over for a cover, TWO! Kaz takes his frustrations out on the fans with spit and cussing, then tags in Scorpio. Matt stands up but he’s still alone against them both. Scorpio puts Matt in SCU’s corner but Matt fights out! He’s still only one against two, so SCU double whip him, but he comes back with a Spear on Scorpio!

Kaz gets Matt with a kick then gives him a stiff haymaker. He whips Matt but Matt uses that to hit Scorpio with a wrecking ball dropkick! Kaz dropkicks Matt while he’s in the ropes, then slingshots to headscissor Matt down. Cody is again very concerned, but Nick returns to Penalty Kick Kaz from the apron! But then Scorpio hops up to give Nick an apron cutter!

Everyone is down, even Scorpio, but Cody coaches The Bucks from commentary. Scorpio stands up and trash talks Cody, but he doesn’t see Matt up on the stage. Kaz and Scorpio regroup and see him too little too late, Matt FLIES onto them both!

Cody is reassured by his Bucks, and the fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop Woop!” Matt grabs Scorpio and puts him back in the ring. Matt walks it off and fires up, with the fans chanting “Superkick!” now. However, Scorpio blocks the kick, swings a kick but misses. Matt gets the takedown but Scorpio shoves him away to the apron. Matt shoulders Scorpio back but Kaz returns, rocking Matt with a haymakers. Kaz slingshots Matt into his own cutter! Nick returns and springboards, but Scorpio catches him with another cutter! Then Kaz & Scorpiop get The Bucks in double dragon sleepers!

Fans boo and jeer while Cody desperately coaches the Bucks. The Bucks endure and power their way to their feet. The fans rally while the Bucks snapmare out, then double takedowns for double sharpshooters! Now Kaz & Scorpio endure while the fans chant “The! Elite! The the Elite!” Kaz & Scorpio endure, but we have to go to break!

ROH returns to Kaz & Scorpio whipping the Bucks at each other again. The Bucks do-si-do and go to Superkick, but are blocked again. Double roll up, double TWO! Cody protests, “Who’s legal?” Kaz & Scorpio swing but the Bucks duck to stereo SUPERKICK!

Fans fire up and the Bucks target Scorpio for a double SUPERKICK! Nick calls for it already as Matt grabs Kaz, but Kaz kicks his legs. Matt staggers back and Kaz slips onto the apron. Matt rushes back in but Kaz catches him with the guillotine legdrop! Nick comes in and tells Kaz “You’re dead!” with a triangle dropkick! Scorpio returns but Nick shoulders in, and says “See ya!” with the slingshot facebuster, to then hit Kaz with the cartwheel asai moonsault! Fans fire up with Nick as he calls for it again. Matt brings Scorpio up, scoops him into the tombstone, and Nick springboards for the FIVE STAR Meltzer Driver!

Cody knows “Nobody gets up from that”, and the Young Bucks win!

But as you can see, the Almighty Daniels finally appears from behind! He goes right after The Bucks with a cheap shot and an STO. Kaz drags Nick out of the ring while Cody stays seated at commentary. Cody calls for security to come to the Young Bucks’ aid but that leaves Matt vulnerable to Daniels’ wicked dragon screw! Cody is indecisive about helping his allies, but thankfully Hangman Page appears, armed with a chair!

Hangman successfully runs SoCal Uncensored off, and then Cody gets in the ring. Cody is still furious with the referee for letting the sneak attack happen, but doesn’t seem that bothered by being slow to stopping it. Is the Bullet Club really fine from top to bottom?

 

ROH takes a look at the recent World Television Championship history.

The Last Real Man’s pal in the Beer City Bruiser helped him out in the Final Battle Fatal 4 Way title match to take the gold away from the K I N G. However, when Silas went to help Bruiser and new pal, Brian Milonas, Kenny King decided to even the numbers! Things would erupt into chaos, and then when the order was restored, it was a Six Man Tag. King and Team Coast 2 Coast would overcome the trio of “real men”, giving King momentum going into their WTVC rematch.

However, after ROH went off the air, Bruiser and Milonas found King backstage. They taunted King with how “something’s missing”. Right, King was missing the ROH WTVC! King reminded them that they lost, and then wanted them to pass a message along to Silas: the next time they meet, King will take everything from him. King will take that title and force Silas to #BendtheKnee and kiss his feet. Well why doesn’t King tell Silas that himself? Because Silas comes in with a blindside attack!

Silas keeps on King with more clubbing forearms and heavy haymakers. He even boots Kenny all the way into another room. The bullying continues, and Silas whips King into a sliding steel garage door! Bruiser & Milonas would pick King up for Silas, and Silas mocks him, “You look like a real king now, don’t you!?” More like a peasant! Silas agrees to give King his rematch because he’s more than happy to give it to him. Silas would then emphasize it with a boot right to King’s face, taking leave with his buddies to grab some beers. What shape will the former champion be in by the time he faces the current champion in tonight’s main event?

 

ROH takes a look at the World Tag Team Championship scene.

The Briscoes sent a message to Motor City Machine Guns, both verbally and physically. Jay & Mark would beat down Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley during an ROH WTTC defense against Best Friends. They would make Shelley watch as Jay gave Sabin a Jay Driller onto a chair.

Then they would explain later that they’re at a point in their careers, “where we don’t care about our opponents’ well-being.” The Briscoes are “the baddest tag team to ever walk this planet”, and would continue to brutalize the MCMG. It’s nothing personal against them, because #DemBoyz have a vendetta against everybody. MCMG are the tag team champions, but those titles are the Briscoes’ property. Jay & Mark are coming to take those titles back at the 16th Anniversary Show, will Shelley & Sabin even survive?

 

ROH’s WOH Championship Tournament rolls on!

And to continue on, The Gatekeeper, Kelly Klein, and “Bonesaw” Jesse Brooks sit down to tell us about themselves.

Kelly knows we already know all about her, but the “Pretty Badass” reminds us that she’s “the most dominant woman in wrestling”. She was never pinned or submitted for over 800 days, so she is a favorite to be the inaugural WOH Champion. However, Bonesaw thinks the “Pretty Badass” is nothing compared to her, the “Baddest Woman on the Planet.” Brooks is a product of the ROH dojo, and both women have wanted this match for so long. It’s because of how very much alike they are. Kelly enjoys having a formidable tournament, and Brooks is just happy to have a chance to destroy everyone on the roster.

Kelly is aware of what it takes to defeat someone like Brooks, but Brooks vows to be a bracket buster. The Baddest Woman and the Gatekeeper face each other for the first time. They’ll bring everything they’ve got to this match, but who’s “everything” is more than the other’s?

ROH takes a glimpse at Klein VS Brooks.

The full match is available via ROH’s official website. From the highlights, Brooks and Klein hit hard, but in the end it was The Gatekeeper who kept her word. Kelly Klein advances to the quarterfinals to face the Exotic Goddess, Mandy Leon!

Now Deonna Purrazzo and Holidead have their turn.

The Virtuosa helped “rebirth” ROH’s women wrestling into the WOH Division with its inaugural match. Meanwhile, the charismatic enigma of Holidead is still a mystery to everyone but her. Deonna respects Holidead, being unknown is an asset in itself. Holidead defends that she is simply “misunderstood”, and is “The Ugly Truth”. People use make-up to cover up who they are, but Holidead uses it to reveal her true self.

Deonna has always wanted to be champion, she’s wanted to change women’s wrestling, so excuse her for getting very emotional at just the thought of this inaugural WOH Championship tournament and her part in it. She’s living a dream, and will be proud of whoever wins. Deonna grew up watching wrestling with her twin brother, and saw so many powerful women do such an intense sport. She dreamed of doing this herself, and is living the dream even now. Deonna and her fellow WOH show the world that “women aren’t just eye candy” or “side shows”, they’re main-event wrestlers and role models.

Holidead counters by saying “Everyone always counts out the dark side.” The Dead won’t stay down so easily. Deonna has dreamed of this moment for so long, but nothing will stop her or the Ugly Truth from becoming the first-ever WOH Champion. Of course, only one can advance to the quarterfinals, will a dream die? Or will it become immortal?

ROH also takes a glimpse into Purrazzo VS Holidead.

This match’s entirety is also available on ROH’s official website, but we come in as Holidead gut wrench lifts Deonna into a dominator torture rack, aka the Canadian Backbreaker. The Virtuosa fights out with elbows, then tries an arm-drag. Holi blocks but Deonna runs to tilt-o-whirl into the Fujiwara armabar! Deonna pumps it up, Holidead taps! Deonna keeps her dream alive to advance to the quarterfinals! She awaits the winner of a major Stardom match-up, HZK VS Mayu Iwatani! The WOH Tournament will return to ROH TV in two weeks, what will the bracket be like by then?

 

ROH announces a major Grudge Match for the 16th Anniversary Show!

Cody believes “Arrogance is a Kingdom without a crown.” Matt Taven has had a throne, a harem, the walking stick, and even stole Cody’s one true Ring of Honor. However, Taven is still king of NOTHING.

Taven responds by saying “The American Melvin” and “the epicenter of the cancer that infests Ring of Honor” better thank God that their match gets to be on PPV because now the whole world gets to watch Cody pucker up and #KissTheRing.

The Motor City Machine Guns respond to The Briscoes.

If Jay & Mark wanted title shots, all they had to do was ask. But instead, #DemBoyz made it personal, so now they will just have to wait and see what the MCMG does in return. Jay & Mark have been in ROH for 16 years, but there won’t be a 17th after this.

Another major match announcement!

“Anniversaries are supposed to be about celebration.” The Villain knows that all this will be for the Purple Mist is #ASpotofBother. But Martinez responds, letting Scurll know that in Sin City, “the world finds out that the so-called Villain is just my next victim.”

And of course, the 16th Anniversary will have an ROH World Championship match!

Live on PPV, Jay Lethal will show everyone why it’s his chance to get back “what is rightfully mine!” But The Peacock responds by saying he’s very excited. His belly is all shook up, but “don’t be confused.” Castle will still hit Lethal with everything he’s got to make sure he is still ROH WHC. All these great matches and more await Las Vegas on March 9th! Who will hit the jackpot? And who will completely bust?

 

ROH World Television Championship: Silas Young w/ Beer City Bruiser & Brian Milonas VS Kenny King!

It is finally time to see if the K I N G can take back his throne! If he does, he easily walks into his home of Sin City the champion for the 16th Anniversary Show. Can he keep the Last Real Man from screwing him when he now has two bulky buddies ringside?

The belt is raised high, and surprisingly the Code of Honor is upheld as Silas and King shake hands. King ignores the words Silas says during it, and the bell rings. Silas mockingly applauds while he circles with King. They tie up, King gets the waistlock but Silsa pries his way out to a wristlock. King reverses that into a hammerlock, but Silas reverses it back. Silas headlocks then snapmares, then things speed up. Silas still gets the headlock takeover, but King gets the headscissors.

Roles reverse as Silas pops out, runs into King’s headlock, then counters with a headscissors of his own. King pops out and then gets a waistlock but Silas bucks him off. Silas ducks the spinning heel kick and rolls King up, but King rolls through and double dropkicks deflect each other. King handsprings and the fans applaud.

Brian and Bruiser hover close so King swings to back them off. King returns to circle with Silas, and a heckler tells Silas, “You’ve Got Nothing!” Silas tells him to “Shut Your Mouth!” He and King tie up again, Silas gets the headlock. King powers his way out, but Silas runs him over with a shoulder. Silas mocks King with applause but fans say “Silas Sucks!” Things sped up again, King drop toeholds and rolls into a headlock. Bruiser and Milonas coach Silas as he stands up and powers out. King runs him over, does his dance, then runs but Bruiser trips him! The referee just missed it, but he still keeps King back from swinging on Bruiser. Bruiser & Milonas egg him on, giving Silas time to recover.

However, the Enforcer feels the need to return!

Bully walks right over to Bruiser & Milonas, and tells them he knows exactly what they get up to at ringside. He tells them bluntly to GTFO! Bruiser & Milonas protest but the fans love it! Bully starts a “Get Out!” chant as he ushers Bruiser & Milonas away, but Silas uses this distraction to pounce on King! He thanks Bully, because “you just did my job for me!” Silas brings King up in a hammerlock, but King spins out to a Japanese arm-drag. King gets another arm-drag and now things are even without distractions.

Silas stands up out of the armlock and forearms King, so King forearms back. King whips but Silas reverses for a stiffer forearm. Silas says, “That’s what you get, boy!” then runs, only for King to respond with another forearm of his own! King says, “that’s what [censored] get”, then he runs, but Silas tosses him over and out to the floor. King crash lands and Silas rests with the 20 count. Silas comes out to fetch King after all, kicking him while he’s down. He drags King up and into the ring, and mocks the fans applause. He slingshots over for double stomps, and we go to break.

ROH returns again, to find Silas running in to King’s rolling roundhouse! King gets back to his feet while Silas stirs, and the fans rally for the challenger. He throws jabs on Silas, then ducks the counter punch to punch back. Silas ends up out of the ring, so King takes aim. King slingshots and spins but Silas slides back in. Silas builds speed, King gets out of the way but Silas tumbles to the apron. He kicks at King but King evades to get around behind, Eddy Gordo kick! Silas slumps off the apron, but King brags too long, Silas sweeps the legs!

King lands face-first on the apron then falls to the floor. Silas drags him up, then whips him at barriers, but King just hops from rail to stage and then back at Silas!

He takes out Silas and the fans fire up! Then King goes up into the crowd for selfies. He returns to the ring, and the “Selfie King” climbs up top. He takes aim at Silas in the ring, flies and hits the crossbody! Cover, TWO, but King keeps his focus. The fans cheer him on as he brings Silas back up. Silas powers him to a corner and rams in shoulders. Silas whips but King reverses and breaks, but Silas blocks the kick. He also blocks the second Gordo kick, but King blocks the low blow and flips Silas! Yet Silas lands on his feet! But then runs right into a spinebuster! Cover, TWO!

King feels some shock and frustration, but he calms down to tell everyone, “Time to cash out.” He drags Silas up, fireman’s carry, but Silas slips out. Silas evades in a corner then fireman’s carry for King. King slips out and shoves Silas to ropes, but Silas holds onto them. Silas boots King, but runs into another fireman’s carry. This time Silas not only slips out, but rakes King’s eyes! King is blinded but still swings, only to end up in the full-nelson knee strike! Silas lifts King in the fireman’s carry and spins, but King counters with a crucifix! TWO, but so close! King keeps moving, but runs into the backbreaker and lariat! Silas keeps going, lifting King for the draping, swinging neckbreaker!

Silas crawls to the cover, TWO! Now Silas feels some shock and frustration, but the fans applaud. The fans rally for King as Silas drags him up. Silas lifts King in the fireman’s, then hits the rolling senton, and he drums before having a headstand on the top buckle. But King revives to give him a hard right! Then King catches Silas in the fireman’s, spins him out but Silas small package counters! TWO! Silas stands up, King avoids the kick and drags Silas around into Last Chancery!

A shout-out to the Greatest Man(ager) That Ever Lived but Silas endures. He reaches, crawls, and gets the ropebreak. King lets him go and Silas slips out of the ring. The 20 count begins but Champion’s Advantage is on Silas’ side. King knows this and pursues. He brings Silas back in, but Silas rolls all the way to the other side. Silas rolls out again, but King won’t let him. He brings Silas back in again, because this is a fight. Silas distracts the referee with his wrist tape, so that he can kick the middle rope! Indirect low blow on King!

Silas hits another rolling senton, then headstand for the Plunge, aka triangle Arabian Moonsault! Direct hit and cover, TWO!? Silas cannot believe it, but the fans love it! They cheer Kenny on while Silas argues and belittles the referee. King stirs and shakes his head at Silas. The two trash talk right into each other’s face, and trade forearms. King hits, then Silas, and they stand up for more. Silas goes to whip but King blocks, so Silas hits him again. King hits back with haymakers, then whips corner to corner. Silas blocks and reverses to throw his own haymakers. He whips King but King goes up and over for a sunset flip! KING WINS!! Silas is furious but King still got him! Will King keep his throne all the way through the 16th Anniversary?

 

My Thoughts:

A damn good episode of ROH this was. Bully Ray really makes his presence known as The Enforcer, but perhaps he wasn’t 100% accurate in saying no filler. The WOH updates were rather filler, giving us highlights and the results instead of at least one of these matches in full. I’m sure they’re just trying to get it all in before the Anniversary Show, and it is great that they have their website to give these matches On Demand for those who want to see all of the action, but I was a little disappointed personally given how Kelly Klein and Deonna Purrazzo are major players in the WOH Division. Then there’s the string of Anniversary Show promos to plug the card, that Grudge Match is really going to be something, and can even plug some of the “Bullet Club is (Not) Fine” story when Cody doesn’t get help.

Bucks VS Kaz-Scorpio also plugged that story expertly. Cody was constantly cheering the Bucks on, but when it came time to help, he was trying to find reasons not to get involved. This could easily turn into everyone else turning on Cody, similarly to how everyone turned on Adam Cole when his ego got too big. Hangman VS Daniels will be the response match and that should be good as the go-home to the Anniversary Show, before the ROH Six Man Tag Championship “Las Vegas Street Fight” settles things. King VS Silas was great because of all the story involved. This match could’ve gone either way but I’m pleasantly surprised to see King take the belt back to be a rare two-time ROH WTVC. I’m sure Silas will want his rematch, and I bet that would make a great addition to the card.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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