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Mitchell’s Ring of Honor Report! (3/10/18)

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ROH WRESTLING TELEVISION, Episode 338

All images courtesy of the Fite.TV app and streaming service

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • ROH World Television Championship Contenders Battle Royal: Flip Gordon and Shane Taylor win, and will have a 1v1 ROH World Television Championship #1 Contenders match in the main event.
  • WOH Championship Tournament: Tenille Dashwood VS Stacy Shadows; Tenille wins and advances to the next round to face Brandi Rhodes.
  • Beer City Bruiser & Brian Milonas VS Ryan Nova & Eli Isom; Bruiser & Milonas win.
  • ROH World Television Championship #1 Contenders match: Flip Gordon VS Shane Taylor; Gordon wins and has a future opportunity against the ROH WTVC.

PLAY BY PLAY

ROH World Television Championship Contenders Battle Royal!

ROH comes in as this match is already under way and very chaotic. The idea is that the last two men in the ring will move on to the main event to challenge the ROH WTVC. It’s of note that all the men in this battle royal are those who have never been World TV Champion, so everyone has an equal shot of becoming a first-timer WTVC should they survive here.

The Best Friends find themselves surrounded on all sides by the rest of the remaining field. But as Chuckie T & Trent Baretta stand back to back, they turn around, and hug!

But as they break the hug, the Notorious Hitman, Shane Taylor, throws them both out! The Best Friends have been eliminated! But while they’re upset, they comfort each other with another hug. Meanwhile, Shane Taylor has F.R. Josie in his face, so Taylor smacks him aside with the One Hitter Quitter! Flip takes care of throwing Josie out while everyone else returns to fighting each other. However, Taylor goes after Flip now while Josh “The Goods” Woods targets Coleman and Team Coast 2 Coast target QT Marshal. Flip gets away from Taylor while Taylor goes to help Coleman, and Flip ends up saving “Little Willie” Ferrara from Kid USA. Flip chops Kid USA against the ropes, while QT narrowly avoids elimination. Ferrara goes after C2C while Woods narrowly avoids being eliminated by Coleman & Taylor.

Ferrara throws Leon St. Giovanni out and thinks that’s it, but LSG stays on the apron. Shaheem Ali grabs Ferrara, and LSG pulls down the ropes, out goes Ferrara for the elimination! The Little Dog throws a fit, but C2C fight with QT and Kid USA now. Woods works on Flip with Taylor’s help but Flip fights out to try and throw Woods out in return. Kid USA taunts Ali while on the outside, Ali knocks him out with a forearm for the elimination! Flip chops Coleman, Woods fights QT, and C2C attack Taylor together. Taylor breaks free but C2C double dropkick him. They work to throw Taylor out but Coleman makes the save. Coleman whips LSG at QT, but QT puts him on the outside, LSG roundhouses QT back! LSG springboards, but Coleman shoves him down, to eliminate LSG!

Woods knees Ali in a corner while Coleman turns his attention to QT. Taylor corners Flip, but Flip fights back with forearms. Taylor rocks Flip with one big forearm, Woods scrapes Ali out for an elimination, but Coleman throws Woods out right after! We are down to the final four: QT Marshal, Caprice Coleman, Shane Taylor and Flip Gordon. Coleman and Taylor, being former allies in The Rebellion, shake hands to form an alliance here. They target QT, but QT offers to pay Taylor to spare QT and eliminate Flip. The fans say “No! No!” while the four men square up, and we go to break.

ROH returns to find Flip going after Coleman with furious right hands in a corner! QT tries to pounce but Flip knocks him away. Flip whips but Coleman reverses to mule kick, and hit the “sucka” with the leaping back heel kick! Coleman runs but Flip follows, for a springboard spear!

The fans applaud but Taylor runs Flip over! QT coaches Taylor to bring Flip up. Taylor obliges and QT runs, but Flip slips out to send that right hand of QT’s into Taylor! QT panics as Taylor glares. He apologizes, but Taylor doesn’t care, the One Hitter Quitter sends QT flying out of the ring for the elimination! Flip, Taylor and Coleman are the last three, only one more elimination is needed to decide the winners. Taylor runs at Coleman but Coleman boots him away, and then Flip adds a SUPERKICK! Coleman goes after Flip but Flip spins him around into the fireman’s carry, and Samoan Pop! But Taylor grabs Flip from behind and throws him over! Flip lands on the apron, shoulders into Taylor, then springboards for the flying clothesline on Coleman!

Fans fire up for Flip but Taylor runs him over, again. Taylor drags Flip up, Flip revives and swings a kick, but Taylor ducks, only to get the enziguri on the follow-through! Flip goes after Coleman, but Coleman gets a cutter! Coleman and Taylor strike up their agreement again, they can take care of Flip to both challenge the champion. Taylor seems to agree, but then Taylor throws Coleman out! Taylor & Flip are the last two standing, they win! They will go 1v1 in the main event to see who truly earns an opportunity at the ROH World TV Championship. After everything they just went through here, who will have enough gas in the tank to finish the fight?

 

The Kingdom speaks.

“How many times do I have to come on here and tell you the truth?” The Kingdom Conspiracy is real! The Bullet Club is falling apart yet the Kingdom doesn’t get what they deserve! It’s clear the Bullet Club is dying, almost dead, yet ROH puts all their chips on them, to the point they name the new streaming service after them. If that’s not a conspiracy, then Matt Taven doesn’t know what is. However, the SoCal Uncensored appear to add on.

Frankie Kazarian loves a good conspiracy theory, but “listen up kids”: if you think you’re the first team ROH has conspired against, you’re wrong. The Addiction have put up with that for the last four years. The Kingdom protests Kaz & Christopher Daniels interrupting their time, and Taven asks why they’re even here. Daniels says they’re here to talk. Does Taven hear that? Opportunity is knocking. Taven’s right, the Bullet Club is breaking from the inside, which makes this a moment “ripe for the picking.” The Bullet Club has always enjoyed winning the numbers game, but now that they’re at odds with each other, “here are the numbers”: three Kingdom, plus three SCU, they have the numbers to “change the pecking order” in ROH. Just think about it. Will Taven & The Kingdom take Daniels up on his offer?

After a commercial break, The Kingdom returns to speak again.

Taven asks TK O’Ryan what’s wrong. What’s wrong is that TK smells a rat. He doesn’t trust SoCal Uncensored, but they want to team up with the Kingdom? Vinnie Marseglia agrees, but Taven tells them to relax. “Every king needs his pawns. Every army needs its front line. And in every major war has its alliances.” Not to mention, every civil war has torn a country, a nation, a club, apart. But who cares about that? Vinnie just wants the Bullet Club to bring their umbrella, because it’ll rain blood next week. Whose heads will roll when The Kingdom goes up against whatever remains of the Bullet Club?

 

The WOH Championship Tournament returns to ROH TV!

The upcoming match marks the halfway point of the opening round. One quarterfinal match is already set with the Gatekeeper and the Exotic Goddess, but tonight’s match will form a second. Who will meet Mrs. American Nightmare in the next round?

Deonna Purrazzo joins commentary for the next match.

The Virtuosa already qualified for the next round over the strange but talented Holidead. She’s out here now to show her support for the other women of the division she helped establish in ROH.

 

Stacy Shadows and Tenille Dashwood speak on being in ROH’s WOH Division.

The Midwest Slayer has her sights set on every single woman, and will go through all of them to make history. But WOH’s newest recruit, the surprise entrant in this tournament, has wrestled for roughly half her life, but overlooked for way too long. Tenille chose to join ROH and WOH, and that is to show the world she is the best! She’ll show us all what she can do. These two met before in Tenille’s ROH debut at Honor Reigns Supreme, when they teamed up with fellow tournament participants, Mandy Leon and Kelly Klein. Tenille won then, but Stacy says she won’t win again. Stacy wishes Tenille luck, she’s going to need it.

 

WOH Championship Tournament: Tenille Dashwood VS Stacy Shadows!

ROH’s newest Woman of Honor vows to make the Division #AllAboutMe, but will only do that if she gets past the sinister Stacy here tonight. Will Stacy get even for the tag team defeat? Or will Tenille back up her words that she’s the best woman wrestler in the world today?

The Code of Honor is upheld, but still a bit tense as the two circle. They tie up, Stacy powers Tenille back. Tenille uses the buckles for leverage in pushing her way back out, but Stacy blocks the arm-drag with pure power. Stacy yanks Tenille back up and powers her into another corner. The break is clean but Stacy swings, Tenille evades. Stacy runs out at Tenille, Tenille gets around to the waistlock, then clubs Stacy in the back. Tenille kicks at the legs then gives forearms, but Stacy reverses the whip. Tenille holds onto ropes, Stacy runs in and blocks one boot but not the other. Stacy staggers back and Tenille runs, tilt-o-whirl into the Russian side leg sweep! Cover, ONE, and with force.

Tenille keeps on Stacy with elbows to the back of the head, but Stacy shoves her away. Stacy runs but a drop toehold sends her into buckles. Tenille goes corner to corner, and hits the sandwich splash!

She says, “it’s about me!” as Stacy staggers out. Tenille goes to kick but Stacy blocks and spins her around for a spinebuster! The Midwest Slayer says it’s about her now while we go to break.

ROH returns to Stacy taunting Tenille. Stacy drags Tenille up but Tenille hits back with body shots. Tenille runs but into Stacy’s body charge! Cover, TWO, but Stacy keeps her cool. She stomps on Tenille, then puts her in a corner for forearms. Stacy snapmares Tenille then kicks her on the floor, cover, TWO. She grows frustrated, but fans rally for Tenille. Stacy scoops Tenille, and slams her down hard, before climbing a corner! She pumps herself up and jumps, but misses the Vader Bomb! Both women are down and a ten count begins. The count reaches 4 before either woman stirs, and Tenille is up first. Stacy runs in at her, but Tenille evades and bumps Stacy off the buckles again and again. Then Tenille puts Stacy in the Tarantula!

She lets go at the ref’s count of 3, but she wants to keep going by climbing up. However, Stacy grabs her by her hair, and swings her head into mat, only for Tenille’s heels to catch her on the back end. Stacy staggers back, then walks back over, for Tenille to hotshot her away! Tenille climbs up now, takes aim, and jumps for the crossbody! TWO, and Tenille is surprised. Tenille backs off and takes aim, but Stacy blocks the kick to lift Tenille in the fireman’s carry. Tenille slips out and shoves Stacy into the post! Then she runs, and hits the Spotlight Kick!

Cover, Tenille wins! She proves she’s worthy of the spotlight, but can she prove she’s truly the best woman in ROH?

Stacy stands up, and per the Code of Honor, respectfully shakes the hand of the woman that defeated her. Will the Midwest Slayer get a later chance after the tournament is said and done?

 

ROH joins Bullet Club backstage.

Marty Scurll beat boxes as the American Nightmare arrives. Have they been hearing all this talk of the SoCal Uncensored and the Kingdom combining or something, and that “their union” will destroy the Bullet Club? That’s crazy. So then Cody is just going to say “Bullet Club is fine”, right? Cody admits to that, but is it not? You tell them. Cody is fed up with the “melancholy, ‘I’m the bad guy’ BS”. He’s not the bad guy. The problems between Cody and Kenny Omega has nothing to do with Bullet Club’s problem with SCU and The Kingdom. They don’t have to be best friends, but think about the money! This can’t end like this. Bullet Club 4 Life, right? They need to work together, that’s all Cody wants. But is that what Cody will get?

 

Beer City Bruiser & Brian Milonas VS Ryan Nova & Eli Isom!

These two booze-powered behemoths are the newest and quite literally biggest team in the ROH Tag Team Division. And against the much smaller Nova & Isom, it isn’t a matter of if they win but when.

Nova & Isom at least have respect enough to ask for the Code of Honor handshakes. But instead of handshakes, they get slaps from Bruiser & Milonas! The bell rings, and Bruiser starts with Nova. Bruiser laughs at the hot-tempered Nova, kicks him low then clubs him down. He drags Nova up for a chop in the corner, then a clubbing haymakers. Bruiser whips Nova corner to corner but Nova goes up and over to fire off forearms of his own. Bruiser shoves Nova away but Nova responds with a mule kick. Nova runs, Bruiser follows and Milonas tags in, then Bruiser flattens Nova with a flying body check!

The Kingpin comes in and adds a back senton! Nova writhes, Isom reaches for a tag, but Milonas puts Nova in the big boys’ corner. Milonas turns around and gives repeated hip attacks to Nova. He tags Bruiser in, and Bruiser gives a sucker punch to Isom. Bruiser and Milonas target Nova, and hit him with the big belly sandwich!

They don’t stop there, they give him a hip attack sandwich, too! Bruiser sees Isom return, and throws Nova to him. Bruiser dares Isom to tag in, and Isom does, and rallies, for about a second. He ends up in a corner, but then dodges Bruiser to run back in, only to end up on the apron. Isom hits back with a forearm, then springboards for a missile dropkick! Bruiser stays standing but Isom fires up, runs, springboard into a right hand from Bruiser! Milonas returns and drags Isom up, and double whip corner to corner. Bruiser body drops Isom onto Milonas’ shoulder, and Milonas buckle bombs Isom, followed by Bruiser’s big corner splash. Milonas continues on Isom, hoisting him up to the top rope. The Kingpin climbs up to join him, and Bruiser climbs up on top of his corner, SUPERPLEX, to FROG SPLASH!

Cover, Bruiser & Milonas win! They literally made a big splash, can they make big gains in the ROH Tag Team Division?

 

ROH World Television Championship #1 Contenders match: Flip Gordon VS Shane Taylor!

Both the Hitman and the Captain of #FlipArmy survived the battle royal that opened the show. Now they must go 1v1, first fall to a finish! This is for the right to challenge the ROH World Television Champion, who still has enough to win it all?

The bell rings, and Flip wants to uphold the Code of Honor, but Taylor just shoves him down! Flip kip-ups and slaps Taylor back! Taylor grins and swings but Flip ducks to fires off several slaps and chops! Flip kicks but Taylor grabs him to put him in a corner. Taylor runs in but Flip evades to chop and chop and chop again. Taylor shoves him down, but Flip comes right back for a forearm smash! Flip climbs up and throws punches, but only gets eight before Taylor shoves him away. Taylor runs out, Flip evades and counters with a SUPERKICK! Flip sees Taylor is still standing, so he runs, evades, and jumps, but Taylor catches the crossbody. Taylor pops Flip up but Flip fights out to dropkick Taylor to ropes. Flip runs, and hits the elevated 619!

Taylor staggers back, fans fire up, and Flip springboards, but into a SPINEBUSTER! TWO, and Taylor is surprised. He goes over to Flip in a corner and swats him with both left and right hands, then backs off to shout down the booing crowd. Flip stands up and back elbows Taylor, then baits him as he cartwheels, but Taylor still catches him. Taylor gets Flip to let go of the ropes, then slams him down! Cover, TWO! Taylor grows frustrated but keeps on Flip with clubbing forearms. He taunts the chants of “Flip! Flip!” but the fans still chant anyway.

Flip chops back but Taylor rocks him with another right, then stalks Flip at the ropes. Taylor brings Flip up and gives him a body shot against the ropes, then another forearm. The fans rally for Flip, and Flip fires back with forearms of his own, but Taylor’s headbutt sits him back down! The referee checks on Flip, but Taylor brings Flip up for a scoop slam! Leaping leg drop, cover, TWO! Taylor is frustrated all over again, and we go to break.

ROH returns once more and Flip rocks Taylor with a strike! He swings but Taylor bobs ‘n’ weaves, to rock Flip back with a knee. Taylor rolls Flip for another knee, then covers, TWO! Taylor grows frustrated all over again while Flip gets to a corner. Flip evades Taylor running in and swing kicks, to then hop up for Kinder Surprise! Flip keeps going, springboard but flies into the bearhug. He fights out but gets another knee from Taylor. Taylor rolls Flip again, but now Flip gives a knee. Flip springboards, but Taylor counters the Spring-Blade with a full-nelson bomb!

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Cover, TWO! And Taylor is even more shocked! He stands over Flip and toys with him, but Flip slaps him, and then slaps him again. Taylor hits a standing splash, covers, TWO! Flip rolls away, but Taylor walks over. Taylor brings Flip up but Flip swings a kick, that Taylor ducks, but Flip hits the other kicks to Taylor’s leg, then the PELE! Somehow Taylor stays standing, so Flip kip-up and PELE again! Taylor still stays up, so Flip runs, but into the lariat! Cover, TWO! The frustration reaches a fever pitch as Taylor drags Flip over. Taylor climbs up, and takes aim, but Flip rolls and the frog splash flops! Flip gets moving, springboards, and hits the Star-Spangled Stunner!!

Flip keeps moving, getting to the top rope! He takes aim, 450 Splash!

FLIP GORDON WINS! He overcomes both the battle royal and the Notorious Hitman to earn his first shot at a championship!

But he doesn’t enjoy it for long, because Scorpio Sky attacks!

SoCal Uncensored’s Closer rains rights on Flip, but why? Scorpio takes aim at Flip for something, but the Young Bucks appear to run him off!

Wait, the Young Bucks help Flip? Perhaps it is more that the Young Bucks are going after Scorpio, a member of the SoCal Uncensored. The fans chant “Young Bucks! Woop Woop!” but Flip guards himself in a corner. There is much history between him and the Bucks, as shown on Being the Elite. Matt & Nick Jackson assure him they’re not here for trouble, and Matt offers a handshake. Flip is skeptical, as he should be, but the fans want him to “Do it! Do it!” He doesn’t, and instead leaves the ring. The Bucks leave it at that, they have to prepare for next week’s huge main event!

 

Cody waits for the Young Bucks.

But then they don’t appear, he decides to do the promo solo.

Though he is upset about this. No Matt, Nick, Marty or Hangman, but it’s fine, he knows their parts. If Nick was here, he’d pretend to SUPERKICK the camera, Matt would “for sure” say “it’s time to start the sho-o-o-o-ow~!” Hangman would just be there all serious, and Marty would say, “we’ll cause a spot of bother, numpty!” That’s the basics. Cody doesn’t need them to say it, he’ll say it: “Bullet Club is fine.” The 10-man tag will prove it. But will it?

 

My Thoughts:

This wasn’t the best episode of ROH, and a rather strangely executed episode, but still good. Coming in the middle of a battle royal is never a good look for any promotion, though. For all we know, there could have been any number of other great ROH talent that was eliminated before the episode started. In fact, that may explain Scorpio’s attack on Flip Gordon near the end of the program, but we can’t know that for sure the way this happened. Then going back to back with Kingdom promos was odd. I feel like the promo with the Addiction offering the deal should’ve been aired a week ago, then we get TK doubting the validity this week. Either way, the bottom line is still good: the other stables are sensing weakness in Bullet Club and look to finish them off while they can.

The Women of Honor Championship Tournament is great history, but sadly this was not the best match, even if it’s only the opening round. Tenille “Emma” Dashwood is a great talent, whether WWE used her that way or not, but it doesn’t really seem that way when she was having to carry Stacy Shadows. Tenille VS Brandi should be a step up next round, and the tournament essentially saves the best for last by having the Stardom related matches wrapping up this opening round. Bruiser & Milonas squash Nova & Isom, as would be expected, but they might need a bit more than that before truly feeling like ROH World Tag Team Championship contenders.

Flip Gordon is a star, and was built as organically as any “underdog” could be. He had a great match with Taylor, but with Scorpio going after him, maybe that can be a program until ROH feels its time for Flip to challenge the World TV Champion. That was a great twist for the Young Bucks to be the ones to save him, but again it was also to keep the SCU from getting big heads. The Bullet Club segments were also great in pushing the “Bullet Club is (not) fine” story, and Cody does great as always with his part in promos. It’s only a matter of time until Cody’s denial breaks and even he admits things are bad. With next week scheduled as a 5v5, leaving Scorpio Sky out, I expect Scorpio to try and help screw over Bullet Club, and I hope Flip will repay the save.

My Score: 8/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

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Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

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AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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