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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Live Report! (3/26/18)

Published

6 years ago

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Mickie James w/ Alexa Bliss VS Nia Jax; Nia wins.
  • Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali VS TJP & Drew Gulak; Alexander & Ali win.
  • Asuka VS Jamie Frost; Asuka wins.
  • Braun Strowman VS Sheamus w/ Cesaro; Strowman wins.
  • The Balor Club’s Good Brothers VS The Miztourage; The Balor Club wins.
  • Elias VS Rhyno w/ Heath Slater; Elias wins.
  • No Disqualifications: John Cena VS Kane; Cena wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Beast is in Cleveland!

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman head to the ring just two weeks away from the Universal Championship match. That is, if Roman Reigns is healthy enough to challenge him. The Advocate introduces himself and says that days before “conquering the Grandest Stage of Them All”, the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion” is here seven days after the “savage beating” he put on his contender. Heyman may be one of the best speakers in pro-wrestling, not even he can put words to the “graphic footage” he shows us. It was last week that Roman Reigns defied the suspension ordered by Vince McMahon, and the authorities came to arrest him. Roman lashed out against them, but then Lesnar ambushed and assaulted Roman. Lesnar made sure his contender would need medical attention, and still laughs about it even now.

This is the part where news shows would say “Breaking News”, the suspension on Roman has been lifted. Therefore, for everyone’s beating hearts, someone might interrupt Heyman with music, and Roman will come out for a fight. But more “Breaking News” from Heyman: Roman Reigns is not here tonight. And those who think they know the script, Heyman can’t give credit to Lesnar, because Roman was raised by a WWE legend father and uncle, as well as all the other Samoan Dynasty relatives. They all raised Roman to be the Samoan Badass, the competitor and fighter and wrestler and winner! So it’s a shame they didn’t raise Roman to be a man. A man would still be here tonight, but Heyman and Lesnar aren’t the ones who said anything. Roman says he’s always here, advertised or not. But this time, he’s NOT, just weeks before Wrestlemania!

If things went the other way, Roman dressed MMA trainees up as Marshals and had them tie Lesnar up so Roman could beat him up to death, Lesnar would still be here, put the title down, and call Roman out! But Roman is NOT man enough to do it. Heyman doesn’t need proof for that, because Roman isn’t man enough to be here and take another beating. That is also why Roman won’t be man enough to take the title from BROCK LESNAR! Wait, someone is here, though. It’s ROMAN REIGNS!

The Big Dog and #1 contender makes his way to the ring, with a steel chair in hand, but Lesnar gets to him first! Lesnar drags Roman up, but Roman shoves him into a post! Roman picks that chair up again, and SMACKS Lesnar in the back, and SMACKS him again. Roman can barely keep himself up, but he still SMACKS Lesnar with the chair. Then, he LEAPS, but into a belly2belly suplex!

Lesnar shakes the dizzying stars out of his head, and then picks up steel steps. He aims at Roman, and SMASHES Roman in the face! Lesnar tosses the stairs into the ring, then drags Roman up into the ring, too. Lesnar fetches the chair, bent and dented as it is, and brings it with him. He enters the ring, holds up the stairs, and SMASHES Roman again!

The fans are a mix of cheers and jeers as Roman barely stirs on the mat. Lesnar has the chair again, and keeps the referees back before he SMACKS Roman again, and again, and again! Fans want “One More Time!” and Lesnar hits Roman one more time! Lesnar exits the ring and Heyman hands him the title back. Except Lesnar isn’t done yet. He returns to the ring, and brings Roman up again, for the F5 on the steps! Lesnar then stands over Roman and atop the steps, like a podium as he holds onto his Universal Championship. Will Lesnar finally finish Roman off once and for all at Wrestlemania?

 

Mickie James w/ Alexa Bliss VS Nia Jax!

After WWE’s Mean Girls got caught on camera laughing at the Irresistible Force, the Goddess and Kickie James were running for their lives. However, Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, has made it so that Nia will get sweet revenge, with a Raw Women’s Championship match at Wrestlemania! Will the six time Women’s Champion even be a speed bump for Nia on her way to destroy Alexa?

The bell rings, and Mickie narrowly avoids Nia. They tie up, Nia shoves Mickie down. They circle and Nia throws Mickie sideways, so Mickie gets out of the ring. Nia waits for Mickie to return while we go to break.

Raw returns and Nia stomps away on Mickie in a corner. Then she throws her across the way, before throwing her back the other way. Mickie tries to escape but Nia is on her at the ropes, by her hair. Nia lets go at the ref’s count, Micke slaps Nia, but then runs away. Alexa distracts, Mickie pounces with a chop block and kick to Nia’s head. Mickie gets back in the ring and waits for the ring count, but Nia is up at 4 and in at 7. Mickie kicks her right away, but Nia shoves her back.

Nia ends up in a corner and Mickie keeps on kicking the legs. Nia throws Mickie down by her hair, but Mickie dropkicks the knee. Mickie tries for the DDT but Nia holds the ropes. Nia suddenly scoops and slams Mickie! She goes for the leg drop but Mickie dodges, to boot Nia down. Cover, TWO, another try, TWO again. Mickie clubs away on Nia but Nia powers out of teh DDT again. Nia runs at MIckie but misses, hitting buckles. Mickie kicks out the bad leg, then climbs up top. She kicks Nia away but Nia comes back to trophy lift and Samoan Drop Mickie! Cover, Nia wins!

Winner: Nia Jax, by pinfall

But then Alexa Bliss attacks! Not that it did much…

Alexa knows she messed that one up. Nia stands up and fans cheer her on, Nia chases Alexa out of the ring. Alexa gets away to the ramp, but Nia lets her that she won’t be able to run forever, because this is going to be settled at Wrestlemania, “you little b*tch!” Nia exits the ring and Alexa finishes running away. Will the Irresistible Force flatten the Goddess once and for all on the Grandest Stage of Them All?

 

Stephanie McMahon trains with husband, HHH, for their Wrestlemania tag team match.

“It’s unfortunate because it’s all about ego.” Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle just had to do their jobs, but instead, Angle exposed The Authority’s ulterior motives. “Three years in the making and now we own the b*tch.” HHH says Angle was being an idiot, and that’s why it’s come to this. “This is the WWE. It’s not judo, it’s not MMA.” It’s The Authority’s world, not Rousey’s. Nothing was handed to them, they worked for everything. This training is life, and they do it better than anyone.

Joe DeFranco will confirm, The Authority are training 24/7, even when they’re not preparing for a match. Joe has prepared MMA fighters, NFL players and Olympic athletes. The Authority are up there and even exceeding those levels. Rousey is one of the world’s greatest, but Stephanie knows Rousey is vulnerable. Rousey enters the unknown. Professional wrestling has a different set of rules. Stephanie grew up in the ring, she owns the ring. Stephanie shouldn’t worry about Rousey, Rousey should worry about Stephanie. “No matter how good an athlete is, you step into somebody else’s world, you’re the underdog.” But Rousey’s arrogance will be Stephanie’s gift.

HHH and Angle have history, but now it hits a new level. Angle has lost to HHH before, so no big deal. But Rousey losing to an executive, that’ll be embarrassing. This is not the Olympics, not UFC or MMA, “this is our world. And nobody’s gonna come into our world and take us down.” The Authority isn’t afraid. Rousey will work for them. But this is just business, they’ll dust Rousey off and position her, to put things back on track. They promise to humble Rousey like all the other superstars, but will Rousey and Angle break that promise?

 

Cedric Alexander & Mustafa Ali VS TJP & Drew Gulak!

The Carolina Kid and the Pakistani Prince fought their way through the WWE Cruiserweight Championship Tournament on 205 Live and are both headed to Wrestlemania to face each other for that title. However, they’re still friends, so they’re willing to team up together tonight to face the FilAm Flash and Cruiserweight Crusader, two men they beat on their way to the finals. Can the two contenders work together to keep themselves fresh for their Wrestlemania moment?

Raw returns to this match in progress, with TJP holding Ali down in a chinlock. Ali stands up and fights out as we see 205 Live GM Drake Maverick has joined commentary.

TJP intercepts Ali, and hotshots him on the top rope to deny the tag! Cover, TWO, and TJP grows frustrated. He drags Ali up and over to scoop slam and slingshot senton on him. Gulak tags in, and TJP hands Ali off to him for the big scoop slam. Gulak covers, TWO, but Gulak just glares at Ali. Ali chops back, so Gulak chops, too. Gulak whips Ali corner to corner, then throws him with a back drop. Cover, TWO, but Gulak keeps on Ali. He wrenches Ali’s neck, so Alexander rallies the fans. Gulak scoops Ali but Ali slips out, so Gulak cheap shots Alexander. Gulak runs at Ali, Ali elbows him back, then hops up for the tornado DDT!

Both men are down, and Alexander slowly returns to his corner. They crawl for their corners, hot tags to TJP and Alexander! Alexander rallies on TJP, handspring headscissors and dropkick! The fans fire up for Alexander as he counters TJP with the back elbow. Alexander runs into  the corner but TJP puts him on the apron, so Alexander swing kicks TJP away. Springboard clothesline! Cover, Gulak breaks it just in time. Gulak grimaces as he stalks Alexander, but Ali uses TJP as a step stool to dropkick Gulak out of the ring! Then Ali builds speed to FLY onto Gulak! Alexander sees Ali, but TJP catches him with a roll up! TWO, but TJP lifts Alexander. Alexander slips out and handsprings, Ali tags in, Neuralizer to TJP! Then, Lumbar Check!

But Alexander realizes he’s not legal as Ali climbs up. 0-5-4! Ali & Alexander win!

Winners: Alexander & Ali, Ali pins

Alexander sees how sly his friend can be, but they both grin and laugh. Both men assure the other they’re ready for Wrestlemania and a golden moment, but will Alexander see Ali coming next time?

 

It’s Miz TV!

The Intercontinental Champion is greeted with “Welcome Home!” chants, but reminds us he lives in LA. Either way, The Miz brings us the “Most Must-See WWE Talk Show in History”, and before getting to his guests, he must address some personal issues. Miz likes to be open and honest, and asks the Miztourage how they feel this is going. Enjoying themselves? Good, because they should be. They’re on Monday Night Raw in front of thousands. That’s great, because Miz isn’t happy. One year ago, he brought them up to the spotlight, and how do they repay him? Failing him! If Miz wanted failure, he would’ve never left Cleveland! Miz can’t count on them. Axel says he can, but Miz reminds us that for the last two weeks, he’s been down because they let him down.

Bo says they’ve done everything they can. Then this is the best they can do? He should “Bolieve” himself back to catering, he is nothing without Miz! Seth Rollins interrupts the rant with his entrance.

Rollins normally isn’t a fan of Miz TV, but this is good stuff! He doesn’t want to interrupt, but he is a guest on the show. He’ll let them hash it out. Miz reprimands Rollins for appearing too soon. The argument is just something they’re sorting out. Rollins volunteers his help. He’ll be a mediator. To be honest, The Miztourage is underappreciated. When was the last time Miz looked them in the eyes and said, “Thank you” to them? Is Rollins kidding? No, Rollins would be thanking The Miztourage and putting up billboards to say “Thank You” because without them, Miz wouldn’t still be Intercontinental Champion! The fans should chant for the Miztourage. And they do.

“When my hand goes up, your mouths go shut!” Miz tells Rollins that the Miztourage know he’s grateful, but they should be grateful to him. Miz would be a champion, a star, a “phony A-Lister who can’t fight.” Whoa, did Bo just say that? Speak up, Bo. What did you say? Finn Balor comes out now.

Finn apologizes for another interruption, but he’s a guest here, too. Rollins helped Miz but now it seems Miz needs Finn’s help. What did Bo just say about Miz? Finn knows it’s hard to hear things in the ring, but Finn knows that Bo said Miz is the biggest jerk ever. Bo didn’t say “jerk”. Well alright, it wasn’t that, it was more loser or coward. No, Bo said he’s a phony. Uh oh… The fans agree to it, though! Miz dares Bo to say it again. Bo goes to, but Miz slaps him! Axel keeps Bo back, and Miz wants to see that fire! They’re weeks away from Wrestlemania but they’re letting Finn and Rollins manipulate them. Miz is just a month away from being the longest reigning Intercontinental Champion ever. He’ll be better than HBK, Macho Man, Mr. Perfect! Uh oh… Did Miz just bring up Axel’s dad?

Axel turns around to look at Miz, and Miz tries to apologize, it was a slip of the tongue. Rollins and Finn don’t think it was by mistake. Yes, it was! But let’s all just calm down, deep breath in… Deep breath out. The Miztourage doesn’t need this. Miz TV is now cancelled. “Yes! Yes!” The Miz wants to leave, but Bo & Axel won’t let him. Miz tries to apologize, but now he realizes he’s surrounded.

No one wants to see this! Yes they do! But then The Miztourage attack Rollins & Finn!? Miz grins, this must have been the plan all along. Miz rains rights on Finn while the Miztourage clear the ring. They add on to Finn, then drag him up, but here come the Good Brothers! Anderson & Gallows take care of the Miztourage, which leaves Miz alone. He goes after Finn, but misses, to take a Slingblade!

Rollins returns, but Miz dodges the Curb Stomp just in time. Rollins won’t let Miz think he’s smarter than the Architect. The champion will get what’s coming to him, but Finn is the one to pick up Miz’s belt. Rollins snatches it from him, and holds it up. Finn sees Miz coming and saves Rollins from him. Rollins clotheslines Miz back out of the ring, then Finn knocks Rollins down! Finn steps over Rollins to pick the belt up again. Will Finn also step over Rollins at ‘Mania to officially claim the title as his own?

 

Kane speaks.

“John Cena, there are some demons you should never call on by names.” They are demons that don’t want to be disturbed, that want to “Rest In Peace.” Cena will pay for his arrogance. He won’t go to Wrestlemania, he’ll go #StraighttoHell. Will Hellfire & Brimstone consume Cena before he even has a chance to face the Deadman?

 

Asuka VS Jamie Frost!

The Empress of Tomorrow challenges the Queen of Flair for her SmackDown Women’s Championship at Wrestlemania, but for now, she continues to grow her Streak on Raw. Will Asuka remain perfect all the way to the Grandest Stage of Them All?

Meanwhile, Jamie Frost is having her first professional match. No one is ready for Asuka, but no one has seen what Frost is capable of, so Asuka isn’t ready for her. The bell rings, and the two circle. Frost dodges Asuka’s opening move then fires off forearm after forearm, and a slap! Asuka grins, she like the moxie. Then she kicks the moxie out of Frost’s face! Cover, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by pinfall

Frost was over confident, but that doesn’t take anything away from the Empress’ power and severity. It won’t be that easy with Charlotte, but will Asuka still find a way to add her to the long list of women Asuka has defeated?

 

Raw takes a look back at ULTIMATE DELETION!

The Great War escalated to astronomical heights as the WOKEN Wisdom and the Consume of Terrestrial Entities did battle at the Hardy Compound. It concluded as Hardy pinned Wyatt, then disposed of him into the Lake of Reincarnation! With the Deletion a complete success, will the World Wrestling Entertainment Dimension ever see Bray Wyatt again?

WOKEN Hardy speaks.

“As a result of the Ultimate Deletion, the essence from the vessel known as Bray Wyatt is no more!” The evil stench has been replaced with the sweet smell of spring daisies. The Great War is finally OVA, but now Hardy sets his sights on Wrestlemania! He shall honor the Eighth Wonder of the World and win the battle royal. Those who oppose him shall suffer the same fate, of DELETION!! In other words, the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal will star Hardy among others, but who will be the one to come out the victor?

 

 

Raw takes a look at the frayed friendship of Bayley & Sasha Banks.

Between the Royal Rumble, the Elimination Chamber, and following tag team matches, the Hugger and the Boss are one step away from breaking up as best friends forever. Sasha finds Bayley backstage, having received her text. But that’s it? Yes, that’s it. Bayley is in the Women’s Battle Royal and that’s it. No talking about last week? What’s they’re to talk about? If Bayley ahs something to say, say something! Wait, didn’t Sasha like Bayley being passive? Where Sasha can do anything she wants and Bayley just goes with it. Sasha loves that, doesn’t she? Bayley is right, Sasha is the Boss, and makes no apologies. Maybe Bayley should stick up for herself so no one thinks she’s a loser. But Sasha only screws Bayley over because she can’t beat her. Sasha is a four-time Raw Women’s Champion. And how long did she keep it?

Sasha snaps and puts Bayley into the lockers, so Bayley fights back! Sasha throws Bayley into more lockers, then across a table. Referees come in just as Bayley turns the tables, but neither “friend” backs down. They’re eventually separated, but Sasha gets loose to go after Bayley again. The referees separate them again, but this is far from over.

 

Braun Strowman VS Sheamus w/ Cesaro!

The Monster Among Men still needs a tag team partner to face The Bar in a title match for the Raw Tag Team Championships, but he’s just find going it alone right now. Can the Celtic Gladiator hope to not #GetTheseHands this close to Wrestlemania?

Before the match, The Bar talk. Everyone thinks Strowman is so dominant just because he tips over trucks and brings down walls. But it’s more that he catches everyone off guard with his entrance of “BRAUN!!” The Bar has news for him: there will be no surprises, because they want to know who his tag team partner is right now. They come out week after week that they don’t just set the bar, they are the bar. But Strowman’s response to the “whiny babies” is that he’ll tell them who his partner is, if Sheamus can beat him. That’s not fair! Just tell them! The fans would rather see Sheamus “Get These Hands!” Strowman guarantees that’ll happen.

With the stakes stated, Sheamus prepares himself for this match. He enters the ring, the bell rings, but Cesaro distracts. Sheamus pounces on Strowman, throwing hands in a corner. He whips but Strowman reverses to then toss Sheamus across the way. Strowman runs but Sheamus dumps him out of the ring. Sheamus hotshots Strowman as he returns, then gives him a beat of the Bodhrain, only for Strowman to block and turn the Bodhrain around on Sheamus! Sheamus tumbles to the ground, but Strowman keeps on him. They return to the ring, but Sheamus rolls to the other side. Strowman runs and blasts Sheamus to the barriers!

The Monster is in control while we go to break.

Raw returns to Strowman stalking Sheamus. Sheamus begs for mercy but Cesaro distracts again. Sheamus tangles Strowman up in the ropes and kicks at the legs. Strowman falls to a knee but shoves Sheamus away. Sheamus kicks again and DDT’s Strowman down. He clobbers Strowman down, then works the arm over in the ropes. Strowman shoves Sheamus away but Sheamus bicycle boots the arm! Sheamus clubs away on that arm, then kicks out the leg. Fans rally for Strowman as Sheamus puts him in a keylock. Sheamus knees Strowman’s ribs but Strowman stands up and powers out. Strowman rallies with lariats, and Sheamus slips out of the ring. The Bar regroups, but Strowamn slips out to run Sheamus over!

Strowman whips Sheamus into barriers, then drags Sheamus up by his Mohawk to put him in the ring. Cesaro moves in close but Strowman backs him down. Strowman reenters the ring, but Sheamus dodges in the corner to send Strowman into the post! Sheamus climbs up, and flies for the clothesline. Cover, ONE, but Sheamus keeps on him with a kick to the ribs. Sheamus stomps and stomps, then Cesaro goes for a cheap shot, but the referee sees him. Strowman elbows Sheamus then punches Cesaro off the apron. Sheamus Brogues but misses, Strowman runs to squash him! Then, lift to scoop to Monster Slam! Cover, Strowman wins!

Winner: Strowman by pinfall

The Monster Among Men won’t have to answer The Bar, or anyone, on who his tag team partner will be, but does he really have one already? He has two weeks left just in case he doesn’t, who has the Monster allied with to go for tag team gold?

 

Raw General Manager, Kurt Angle, is here!

The Olympic Gold Medalist walks to the ring and Cleveland greets him with the classic, “You Suck! You Suck!” He reminds us that two weeks away from Wrestlemania is two weeks away from Stephanie & HHH standing across the way from him and “the baddest woman on the planet,” “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey! And Rousey is here!

Angle knows Wrestlemania is an intimidating stage to debut on, but he knows Rousey’s ready! And after seeing the video with HHH & Stephanie, he admits that The Authority do write the rules. Wrestlemania will be fun, but it won’t be easy. “Good. Because I didn’t come here looking for easy.” Rousey wants to earn things here. Stephanie can talk tough but she’s “trust fund tough”, “limousine tough”, and “personal trainer tough.” Stephanie will get what she deserves, which is Rousey ripping her arm out! But then Absolution appears!

Paige waves hi to Rousey before saying that the “one thing that will sabotage you in the WWE is not having friends.” Former introductions: this is Paige, and this is Absolution. They want to welcome her to Raw! But Raw is their show and Paige’s House. Paige steps in the ring with Rousey, Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville nearby. Rousey, you will get lost in the shuffle or taken advantage of. They’ll be there for her if she needs backup. What a nice offer, but she has an Olympic Gold Medalist, she’s good. Paige understands, but if she thinks Angle has her back–best GM ever!–but then you wouldn’t be an enemy to the Authority. This is career suicide. Rousey has the weight of the world, Paige has been there and done that. Rousey doesn’t have to be alone. She could be the fourth member of Absolution!

Fans say “No! No!” and Rousey looks to Angle. Rousey thanks Paige for the offer, but declines. Paige understands this is Rousey’s choice, but it’s not a good choice. Rousey could’ve had best friends, but now she has worst enemies. Sonya & Mandy step up, the mics are dropped, but while Angle keeps Mandy from hitting Rousey, Rousey hits Sonya!

Then she glares at Mandy, who tries but fails, and gets a saido suplex that sends her into Sonya! Rousey is ready for a fight, and Angle raises her hand in victory. However, Mandy comes back for more, to end up in a judo takedown and armlock! Mandy begs for mercy, and Angle calms Rousey down. Rousey is close to snapping Mandy’s arm, but spares her. The Baddest Woman on the Planet won’t have to stop at Wrestlemania, should Stephanie just give up now?

 

The Balor Club’s Good Brothers VS The Miztourage!

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson won’t let Bo Dallas & Curt Axel get away with tricking Balor Club’s Extraordinary leader. Can the Director of Chaos and the Machine Gun teach these “NERDS” a lesson?

Raw returns with this match already in progress, and Axel has Anderson down before hitting Gallows with a cheap shot. Anderson knocks Axel down and rallies, before scaring off Bo. Anderson dodges Axel in the corner before hitting him with the rocket kick, then hops up on the second rope. Bo returns to distract and Axel shoves Anderson down. Bo tags in, then rains rights onto Anderson before ramming him into barriers. He puts Anderson back in the corner, covers, TWO, so Bo puts Anderson in a chinlock. Gallows rallies the fans, “Too Sweet! Too Sweet!” Anderson stands up but Bo wrangles him down, Axel mocks the Too Sweet. Anderson his way up while fans rally, but Axel tags in. The Miztourage keep Anderson away from Gallows, then Axel clubs Anderson across the back and neck.

Axel whips Anderson and dropkicks him down, and embraces the heat as he drags Anderson back over. Bo tags in, then clotheslines and knees Anderson, feeding him to Axel’s DDT. Bo covers, TWO, so it’s back to the chinlock. Anderson endures the squeeze while fans cheer, “Too Sweet!” Bo knees low but runs into a spinebuster! Anderson and Bo are down but crawling for their corners. Hot tags, and Gallows rallies on Axel. Gallows blasts Bo for good measure, then hits Axel in the corner with the splash, roundhouse rocks him down. Gallows fires up, pumphandles and slams Axel down, then the big splash! Tag to Anderson, the bring Axel up, fireman’s carry for the Boot o’ Doom! Cover, Bo breaks it!

Gallows drags Bo, Bo shoves him away, but Gallows hits the YAKUZA KICK! Axel kicks Anderson but Anderson resists the suplex. Axel forearms Anderson to a corner but Anderson European Uppercuts back. Anderson climbs up, takes aim, and hits the flying neckbreaker! Tag to Gallows, and they bring Axel up again, for Magic Killer! Cover, the Good Brothers win!

Winners: Balor Club (Anderson & Gallows, Gallows pins)

Anderson & Gallows keep themselves moving in the Raw Tag Team Division, will they be first in line to face whoever comes out of Wrestlemania the champions?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter is in Cleveland, with his guitar, and as always, wants to know “Who wants to Walk with Elias?!” Cleveland responds positively. In the “Kingdom of Madness”, there are those who walk, and those who do not walk yet. However, Elias promises to give the greatest performance at Wrestlemania, and the world will know that WWE stands for, “Walk With Elias!” Elias feels electric, having sold out Madison Square Garden last week. Therefore, Cleveland is a huge disappointment. He’s embarrassed to be here, but he’s in good company because Lebron James admitted he felt the same way. But Elias promises Lebron will just leave again.

And while Elias doesn’t want to be here, he does have a song, so it’d be a travesty not to sing it. Please silence cell phones, hold applause and shut mouths so that he may begin. Elias strums, then sings, “Wrestlemania is on the horizon. But I’m stuck in this town. The only thing more embarrassing would be, if I was a Cleveland Brown.” Like, seriously, they’re bad. Wrestlemania’s nothing without Elias because he is WWE. But then Rhyno appears!

Elias VS Rhyno w/ Heath Slater!

The ManBeast doesn’t care about music or declarations, he just wants to fight! The bell rings, and Rhyno rushes Elias and puts him in a corner. Elias kicks back then chops back, so Rhyno chops Elias. Rhyno puts Elias back in a corner then whips corner to corner but Elias reverses, only for Rhyno to run him over with a shoulder! Fans cheer as Rhyno headbutts Elias to ropes. Elias back elbows then clobbers Rhyno from behind, before stomping the ECW original out. Elias drives a forearm into Rhyno, then wrenches his neck. Slater rallies the fans and Rhyno fights out. Elias throws Rhyno down by his hair, then drops an elbow, but Rhyno dodges. Elias hits the mat, but he’s up first. Rhyno hits back, chops, then whips. Elias clubs Rhyno then runs, but into Rhyno’s lariat.

Rhyno rallies now, throwing hands in a corner. Elias hits back, but Rhyno whips him corner to corner again. Rhyno runs but into Elias’ knee. Elias runs out and runs Rhyno over with a clothesline of his own. He brings Rhyno up, Drift Away! Cover, Elias wins!

Winner: Elias, by pinfall

The Drifter doesn’t end things with Rhyno, he goes after Slater! He drags the One Man dBand up, and hits him with a Drift Away, too! Elias feels good about himself this close to Wrestlemania, but how will Elias give us that once-in-a-lifetime performance?

 

Raw takes a look back at Cena’s desire for a Road to Wrestlemania.

Cena couldn’t get a match for a title, so he’s going for the “impossible”! He wants to face The Undertaker, but the one person in the way of the match is the Undertaker. Cena has called Taker an egomaniac, because when Cena fails, he gets back up. But when Taker fails, he hides in shame. Cena doesn’t want lame excuses, he wants Taker to stop being self-centered. The people have given Taker everything, but Taker can’t even give a response? He is no wrestling god, he’s just a man, and “that man, Undertaker, is a coward.” If Taker wants to prove Cena wrong, then “do something!” But instead of the Undertaker, it was KANE who appeared. Cena wanted to know, “Is it ‘yes’ or is it ‘no’?” It was neither, as it was a CHOKE SLAM! And that leads us to tonight’s main event!

 

No Disqualifications: John Cena VS Kane!

The Face that Runs the Place may have called out the Phenom, but he’s apparently riled up the Big Red Machine. With the rules thrown out the window, will Cena have a chance to get a straight answer out of the Devil’s Favorite Demon on what the Deadman really wants?

The bell rings and Cena goes right at Kane, and the two brawl. The fans duel, “Let’s Go Cena!” “Cena Sucks!” Kane throws heavy hands on Cena but Cena fights back. Cena runs, but into Kane’s big boot. Kane scrapes Cena out of the ring, then follows him out to throw him into barriers. Kane keeps hitting Cena, and Cena returns tot he ring. Fans chant “Undertaker!” while Kane drops a forearm on Cena. Cover, TWO, but Kane keeps on Cena with a chinlock. Cena endures the squeeze, and slowly makes it to his feet. Cena powers out of the hold and lifts Kane, but Kane is too much and Cena falls on his face. Kane covers, TWO.

Cena slowly slips out of the ring, and Kane follows again. Kane hits Cena with his signature uppercut, then brings Cena around the corner. Cena hits back with haymakers, then whips, but Kane reverses to send Cena into steel steps. Kane has control while we go to break.

Raw returns once more, and now the fight has gone around to the stage tech area. Cena hits Kane with a chair, then uncovers barriers to use them as a battering ram on Kane’s ribs! Kane doubles over, so Cena sets the railing up like a ramp. He brings Kane over, but Kane hits back. Kane grabs Cena, and suplexes him onto the railings!

The railings bend under the impact! Cena slumps off the steel, but Kane stands up. Kane stalks the crawling Cena on the hardwood, then brings him up again for another uppercut. Cena staggers, Kane brings him back towards ringside, tossing him over the barricade. Kane drags Cena into the ring, then goes to a corner to remove one of the buckle pads. But Cena does the Undertaker’s sit-up!

Cena runs, and tries those signature shoulder tackles, but Kane stays standing! Cena keeps trying, and knocks Kane down the next time, then drops him with the spin-out powerbomb! The fans know what’s coming next as Cena raises his hand. “You Can’t See Me!” and Five Knuckle Shuffle. He stalks Kane, and bumps him off the exposed buckle. Cena then slits his throat, the same as the Undertaker.

Cena grabs Kane by the throat, and Choke Slams him! Three references to Taker, cover, TWO! Cena keeps his cool, and exits the ring to go searching underneath. He brings out a table! The fans like what they see as he puts it in the ring, and sets it up on all fours. But now Kane sits up! And Kane grabs Cena, but Cena slips out. Cena fireman’s carry, but Kane tips the table and uppercuts Cena.

Kane takes the table for his own, and sets it up in a corner. He goes back to Cena, and brings him up. Cena hits back while fans duel, and Kane kicks low to then throw Cena through the table! Cover, TWO! Cena is too tough and too determined to let a table take him out. Kane slips out of the ring and searches for something. He brings out a second table, and puts that in the ring. Kane sets the table up on all fours while Cena slowly drags himself up. Kane stalks Cena, grabs Cena by the throat, but Cena slips out to fireman’s carry again, to AA through the table! Cover, Cena wins!

Winner: Cena, by pinfall

“Big Match John” endures a rough fight with Kane, but a win isn’t enough. He grabs a microphone, and asks, “No lightning? No bells of terror? No Undertaker?!” This was a match with no rules, and anyone could’ve shown up! So where is he?! Where is the Undertaker!? The fans chant for Undertaker, too. Cena knows Taker isn’t deaf, just afraid! Night after night, city after city, crowd after crowd, “they chant your name!” And they still chant now.

“You don’t get to be mysterious here. Silence is not an answer.” Give either a “yes” or a “no”. The fans give a “YES! YES!” Cena is fine if it’s a no, because he’ll still go to ‘Mania as a fan. But just look at the energy when the WWE Universe chants “YES!”, when they chant “Undertaker!” and when they chant “Do Something!” Because Cena dares the Undertaker to “Do Something.”

Undertaker has one week left to sum up his entire career. Either Taker does something, or nothing, “and if you do nothing”, Taker lets Cena down, lets Kane down, and most of all, he’ll let everyone who has ever cared about Taker know, that Taker only cares about Taker. For the sake of all that is good inside the ring, Cena hopes to see Taker next week. Harsh words from a frustrated and desperate Cena, but will they raise the ire of the Phenom enough to get an answer?

 

 

My Thoughts:

This was a good Raw, but clearly they’re saving their energy for next week’s go-home. We got great surprises in the opening segment, as both Lesnar and Roman show up. Roman is the bigger surprise, as the kayfabe was of him being hospitalized after Lesnar beat him down. Roman still gets beat down here because he’s not 100%, but he doesn’t get beat down as badly this time, either. They’re working really hard to get Roman over, and I can’t be sure if it moved the needle much here, but there’s still next week. Nia dominating Mickie then scaring Alexa off was great for her, she’s going to be building up so much momentum for ‘Mania that it’d be a real shame if she didn’t win the title.

Great to see Cruiserweights back on Raw, but it’s not like it advanced the story, which was part of the problem the first time. Miz TV got one over on me, I really thought/hoped Miztourage would break away, but they swerved Rollins & Finn. Finn VS Rollins will happen again next week, but I bet Miz will just interfere then. Miztourage lose to Good Brothers, because the Good Brothers need to stay afloat in the Tag Team Division, but nothing new otherwise. Asuka won so fast, I expected something more, like Charlotte showing up on Raw so that both of them are on both shows for this build. Perhaps a missed opportunity there. Hardy joins the Men’s Battle Royal, and I’m hoping he wins to keep him going outside of WOKEN feuds.

The Authority’s training video was well made, but the words were so full of irony, it was actually the best part of the whole thing. Rousey’s segment was alright, but mostly because of Absolution coming in. Paige is always good on the mic, and Rousey is obviously at her best when she’s physical. Next week is a final face-to-face before the match, but it’d almost be redundant if they got physical then, so hopefully Rousey gives a sharper promo for that. Strowman does great again against Sheamus, keeping himself strong and his partner a mystery. There is still so much speculation, but I still personally hope it’s someone other than Elias just so that their characters aren’t back pedaling.

Then there’s the interesting character development in John Cena. While he’s framing this as “Taker is a coward”, and egging the Deadman to #DoSomething, what if this is all just Cena slowly turning Heel? It’s been established that he wants a Wrestlemania match badly, almost desperately. He tried the Rumble, he tried the Chamber, he even tried Fastlane, but failed at them all. He’s grasping at straws, and Taker was the “impossible” low hanging fruit. Cena’s mocking of the Undertaker’s signature mannerisms could also be a sign, as those are usually Heel tactics. He did have a point, though, that a No DQ match was the perfect opening to show up and attack, but perhaps the no-show is itself the perfect way to play this.

My Score: 8/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/26/24)

It’s Draft Day!

Published

7 hours ago

on

April 26, 2024

By

And with the first overall pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects…

The WWE Draft returns for 2024, the first four rounds being right here on Friday Night SmackDown! With champions protected, who ends up where to challenge them?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo; Rey & Dragon win.
  • Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander; Bron wins.
  • WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton; No Contest.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes; Cody wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Kayla Braxton is with the Wise Man and says that here on night one of the Draft, there are already rumors circulating, including those about The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. Heyman will clarify these are not rumors regarding The Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns. These are facts! Ladies and gentlemen, Your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, has voluntarily withdrawn from eligibility for this year’s Draft. That is not a negative but a positive. Who built SmackDown since the Pandemic? Roman Reigns. Who is the biggest star in the entire industry? Roman Reigns. Why would Roman Reigns hog the number one draft pick spotlight when he won’t be returning in the immediate future?

Read into his words, Kayla, that is not what a real Tribal Chief would do. Instead now, the pressure is on Nick Aldis. Because if Roman Reigns isn’t the first draft pick, then who is? The first two picks make history in a brand new era. And Heyman doesn’t know about you, but he is intrigued. No Tribal Chief up for grabs, who gets their opportunity to shine in the spotlight?

 

SmackDown throws it to the NXT Performance Center.

Jackie Redmond says the emotion down here is palpable! There is excitement, hope, and a little bit of nerves. But for these NXT Superstars, tonight is the culmination of a lifetime of hard work, dedication, a little bit of luck and a whole lot of self-belief. It was just last year that the NEW WWE Tag Team Champion, Grayson Waller, was hoping his name would be called. And it is funny this is NXT, but time to buy a vowel, throw in an E! Who is next? We find out tonight! The draft pool is deep, who rises to the top of the list?

 

Corey Graves is in the ring.

Corey welcomes Cincinnati and all of us at home to night one of the 2024 WWE Draft. Understandably, the GMs have their hands full, so Corey will be moderating the contract signing for the WWE Championship match that takes place next Saturday for Backlash: France. Without further ado, it’s the #1 contender, The Phenomenal AJ Styles! Styles makes his entrance, taking a seat at the table on camera right. And now, the Undisputed WWE Champion, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! Cincy fires up and sings along, “WHOA~ OH~!” as Cody makes his entrance and gets his pyro before joining everyone in the ring.

Styles looks over the contract, absolutely tuning out the fans going wild for “CODY! CODY!” Styles then gets the mic to say before he signs, he doesn’t know if we realize that we’ve got two Georgia boys about to mix it up for the first time, and for the biggest prize in the game. Styles understands why they boo, but they gotta know that he doesn’t respect LA Knight, LA Knight got under his skin. He accepts that. But that’s why Styles lost at Mania. But what happened? Styles got his composure back and realized that he is Phenomenal. Styles BEAT Knight to earn the right to face Cody Rhodes at Backlash.

Now unlike Knight, Styles does respect Cody. They hadn’t crossed paths yet, but they’ve been down the same roads. They had to prove themselves outside of the WWE. And Styles is willing to believe that the same man who gave him advice a long time ago gave Cody the same advice, on how to stand on their own two feet and be the men they are today. That man was The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. The fans cheer for “DUSTY! DUSTY!” Styles learned a lot from Dusty. Styles gets a little emotional thinking about Dusty, he was a good man. Dusty taught Styles how to carry himself, and to carry the weight of a championship.

And Styles looks at this WWE Championship here. The weight of this isn’t just the leather and gold. And at Backlash, we see if Cody can carry it. Styles goes back to his table, signs the contract, and then hands it off to Corey. Corey brings that to Cody, and Cody picks up his mic. “So… Cincinnati…! Whadda we wanna talk about? Certainly, we can talk about respect. There is not a locker room on Earth that you’ll find where everyone in it, every single person, they all respect AJ Styles. Last week, I went on to say you are the modern day Excellence of Execution. I respect the roads that you have traveled down to get here, the parallel paths that perhaps you and I have.

“Mutual respect, much respect. But that respect goes by the wayside at Backlash. I can feel it in your words to a degree. You’ve been here before. And it seems you’re implying that I cannot carry the weight of that championship. Well, good thing the man who trained me not far from where I sit now used to tell me all the time, it’s not about winning the title, it’s about keeping it.” The fans cheer that. Cody says boy does he respect Styles’ familiarity with Cody’s last name. But when you put C O D Y in front of it on this paper, that means they’ve never touched before. That means Backlash is a level playing field.

That means no matter how Phenomenal Styles is, this isn’t a dream match for Cody. It’s a must-win! Cody signs while the fans cheer, and it is official! Cody even throws the pen to the crowd as a free souvenir. Cody then offers a handshake, and Styles says y’know what? It was a beautiful thing to see Cody #FInishTheStory and win the title. But it’s a shame that Cody’s title reign will end at Backlash. Styles still shakes Cody’s hand, and then walks away. Cody picks up the belt and holds it high, will he get to hold it high again in Lyon, France?

Triple H is here!

Just as Cody was on his way to the back, The Game makes his way out here! HHH raises Cody’s hand, then invites him over to the podium. HHH welcomes us to the first round of the 2024 WWE Draft. It is a night that changes the landscape of the WWE going into the future, and things are a bit different this year. As the GMs ponder their next steps, they have to understand it is about protecting the roster they have as it is making the roster they want. Meaning that when they use their picks, they have just as much of a chance gaining a superstar as they do losing one they already have.

HHH just felt that since champs are protected and Cody will be staying here on SmackDown, maybe Cody could help read the SmackDown picks and HHH can read the Raw picks. And since SmackDown goes first, Cody reads first. Cody takes the card to say that with the first pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… The E S T, Bianca Belair! The stongEST, fastEST, roughEST, toughEST stays on Friday nights! HHH reads that for the second pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, Raw selects… YEET! JEY USO! Monday nights will still have Main Event Jey Uso! And the fans “YEET!” Cody says for the third pick, SmackDown selects… NXT’s Carmelo Hayes!

The fans fire up as SmackDown manages to snag… HIM! The former NXT Champion makes history again by being the first NXT superstar to be chosen this high in the Draft! HHH says that’s a hell of a pick. But then the fourth and final pick of this first round, Raw selects… SETH! FREAKIN’! ROLLINS! It is still going to be Monday Night Rollins as the Visionary stays on the red brand! Cody and HHH shake hands, and then Melo makes his way out! Melo has the mic to say when they talk about who’s next up, about who’s the hottest out, they don’t call them “the hottest out,” they just call him “Carmelo Hayes.”

The fans chant “WHOOP DAT TRICK!” to remind Melo how he’s leaving NXT. Melo says okay, okay. But then to Cody Rhodes, ever since Cody won the title, he’s been talking about “If you aim for the king, you best not miss.” Well, funny how that works. Because when Melo shoots, Melo don’t miss. And as a first round draft pick, what better way to shoot his shot on SmackDown than to shoot it right at Cody? Melo leaves the mic with Cody but Cody picks it up to say, “Fortune certainly favors the bold, but I dunno. You folks don’t wanna see me in action tonight, do ya?” The fans go wild! Oh, but what if Cody forgot his gear?

Oh that’s right! He didn’t forget his gear! And this title right here, for Cody, means absolutely 100%, Melo’s on! They shake on it, and we’re about to see a huge first-time-ever showdown! But will this bold first move work out for… HIM?

 

Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo!

The LWO is still not convinced Legado Del Fantasma had nothing to do with the beating that took the Boy Wonder out ahead of WrestleMania. Will the King of Lucha help get to the bottom of things? Or will Angel & “Berto” make it as easy as ABC, 1-2-3?

The teams sort out, Dragon runs up on Humberto but Humberto LARIATS him down! Humberto drags Dragon up, tears the shirt away and CHOPS! Humberto whips, Dragon ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! Humberto tumbles out, Dragon builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit and down goes Humberto! The fans fire up as Dragon pushes Humberto into the ring, goes up a corner, and then CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO! Dragon facelocks to drag Humberto up, but Humberto wrenches out to CLUB Dragon down. Humberto waistlocks but Dragon throws elbows. Angel tags in as Humberto shoves Dragon. Dragon ducks but Angel holds ropes open, and Dragon tumbles to the floor!

The fans boo and LWO hurries to check on Dragon! Angel & Humberto just soak up the heat as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both Dragon and Humberto are down! They crawl, hot tags to Angel and Rey! The fans fire up as Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl RANAS! Angel ends up in a corner, he puts Rey on the apron, but Rey ROCKS Angel! Rey goes up to SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, wrenches and kicks, then hops on! CODE RED! Cover, Humberto breaks it! The fans boo but Humberto hauls Rey up. Rey fights and RANAS Humberto up and out! But Angelo kicks, scoops, but Rey slips free! Angelo kicks low, reels REy in, and underhooks, but Rey fights those to RANA Angel onto ropes! Rey dials it up to 619!

Tag to Dragon and he takes aim! Angel stands, into the tilt-o-whirl, PROJECT DRAGON!! Cover, LWO wins!

Winners: Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee, by pinfall

Carlito and Zelina hug it out with the team, but then Santos Escobar & Elektra Lopez walk out here. Santos says whoa, whoa, whoa, hold that celebration. Because Santos is many things, but a liar is not one of them. And when Santos said he did NOT attack Dragon that night before Mania, he meant it. Elektra has been working for weeks to track down the security footage from that night. And Rey… Oh, Rey. What you’re about to see, you will find very, very interesting. The footage plays, and it was CARLITO!! Carlito throw Dragon around backstage! No one can believe it, because of how well Carlito fooled even Dragno.

Speaking of, Carlito RAMS Dragon into Rey, then hits a BACKSTABBER! Never has that move’s name been more fitting! Carlito runs away in a panic, and Rey stands back up in a rage! Santos says he told Rey that he was right all along. They were supposed to be family, and yet look how that turned out. How will the LWO recover from this shocking development?

 

Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander!

The Big Bad Booty Nephew has been making a case for himself ever since showing up on SmackDown, and he’s already bringing the straps down! Is he going to break PRIMED Alexander while also breaking match time records? Or will Cedric prove he’s too fly for Bron?

The bell rings and Cedric dodges Bron to CHOP and ROCK! Cedric whips, Bron reverses and Cedric handsprings, into a SPEAR!! Cover, Bron wins!

Winner: Bron Breakker, by pinfall

Well, hard to say if that’s an all-time fast match, but that was a fast match! QR Code stuff going on, but will we all see Bron take the world by storm?

 

Nick Aldis heads out.

And waiting is Tiffany Stratton. She asks if he saw what she did last week. Wait, of course he did. Because she is the Center of the Universe. She dropped Naomi and Bayley, where is her title match? Aldis tells Tiff to look at his watch. It is NOT set to #TiffyTime. And he was this close to sending her to the back of the line. But then someone convinced him otherwise, good for her. Tonight, she goes 1v1 with Naomi again, and the winner faces Bayley for the title at Backlash. Whose stupid idea was that?! Bayley says DING DONG, it was hers. It is a win-win situation here. If Naomi wins, she gets the match she got cheated out of.

And if Tiff wins, then she’ll find out when she attacks the Role Model. Tiff gasps as she has a #TiffanyEpiphany. Bayley should be ringside for that match so she can see Tiff do what Bayley couldn’t, and that’s beat Naomi. Tootles. Tiff leaves, but will the only thing she gets is to #FeelTheGlow?

 

Michelle McCool and Torrie Wilson are here!

One is a former WWE Women’s Champion, the other is a WWE Hall of Famer, but they’re both here to present Draft picks! Michelle says with the first pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… The Viper, Randy Orton! SmackDown will still have to watch out for an RKO outta nowhere! Torrie says that with the second pick of the second round, Raw selects… BRON BREAKKER! We just saw Bron make quick work of opponents here on SmackDown, but now he’s gonna be rampaging on Raw!

Michelle says that with the third pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… NIA JAX! The Irresistible Force may have to change targets from the Women’s World to the Undisputed Women’s title, but will she be unstoppable all the same? And with the fourth and final pick of this round, Raw selects… LIV MORGAN! The Revenge Tour will still be part of Monday nights, will we watch Liv rise to the top?

 

The Bloodline arrives backstage.

Paul Heyman is there to greet them and open the door to the SUV. He apologizes for not being faster about that, but Solo Sikoa asks The Bloodline if they’ve been drafted. Not yet. Then give Solo the details. Okay, well, Roman Reigns withdrew right before the show began, and then Solo keeps adding members, so no one really knows what they’re getting if they draft The Bloodline! Solo sighs, and here comes Tama Tonga. Heyman asks they be patient but Solo wants Heyman to repeat that for him. Heyman gets scared, but then KEVIN OWENS jumps in! Kevin fires off on Tama, security and refs rush in to stop it!

The Prizefighter wants Solo’s “MFT” to bring the fight like he did last week! Security still drags Kevin away, but will he get that fight he wants?

 

Kayla Braxton is on stage.

SmackDown returns and Kayla welcomes us back to the show. And please welcome out the first overall pick, Bianca Belair! The fans fire up as The EST walks out on stage, and Kayla congratulates her on being the first overall pick. But let’s talk Backlash. Breaking news, Bianca and Jade Cargill are going to challenge for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, against the Kabuki Warriors. How satisfying would it be to dethrone them on the stage of this magnitude? Bianca says so satisfying. She really hopes Jade gets drafted to SmackDown because given all this history with Damage CTRL, all the partners by her side, Bianca has never been the one to finally end it with them.

For everything they’ve done to her and this division, Bianca feels Jade is the perfect woman to help her end this. Now, DMG CTRL is falling apart piece by piece, and that final piece is the tag titles. So once Bianca & Jade take the gold at Backlash, the Kabuki Warriors won’t even have a reason to come back to SmackDown. But wait, they’re here now! Asuka & Kairi walk out here and Kayla moves aside. The Empress of Tomorrow and the Pirate Princess taunt the EST, but here comes The Storm! Jade makes her way to stand right by Bianca’s side. The four shout and argue, but this will be settled on May 4th!

WHOA! Tama and Kevin are brawling their way out here! The ladies move aside so the gentlemen can brawl all the way down to ringside! Tama hits low, gets in the ring, but Kevin pursues! Kevin TACKLES Tama, but Solo CLOBBERS Kevin! The fans boo as The Bloodline beats Kevin down! The refs hurry out here but clearly Solo’s Bloodline won’t listen! Tama DECKS producers, DECKS guards, HEADBUTTS them, throws hands and even THROWS the guards! Tama and Solo beat Kevin down again, but here comes Randy Orton! The Viper is still on SmackDown and he’s still pals with Kevin, so here he comes!

Orton DECKS Tama, fires hands on Solo, then RK- NO, Solo gets free and gets away! Orton wants to pursue, almost runs Jamie Noble and refs over to do it, but the Bloodline has gotten away! The fans cheer Randy on, and KAevin even hugs him! But then Kevin and Randy try to give chase! Security stops this, when and where will we see #RKKO strike down Solo and Tama?

 

The Dudley Boyz are here!

The fans fire up as Bubba Ray & D-Von are both here for the next round of picks! Cincy chants for “E C DUB! E C DUB!” Bubba and D-Von look at the cards, it’s hard to read. So out come the glasses! Bubba says with the first pick of the third round of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… L A KNIGHT! YEAH!! The Mega Star stays on Fridays! D-Von says with the second pick of the third round, Raw selects… RICOCHET! Mondays still has the One and Only, is Ricochet going to bring that WWE Speed Championship home to Raw, too?

Bubba says with the third pick of the third round, SmackDown selects… THE BLOODLINE! That means Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga and Paul Heyman are staying right here on Friday nights. And D-Von says with the final pick of this round, Raw selects… SHEAMUS! The Celtic Warrior just got back, but he won’t have to worry about going anywhere else but Monday nights.

 

WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton!

It’s time to run it back once again! The Glow got robbed by the Spoiled Rich Girl, but supposedly, it’s #TiffyTime. Will Naomi prove there’s no such time on the clock? Or will Bayley be the one feeling the Backlash over giving Tiffany one more chance?

The bell rings and Naomi hits a THESZ PRESS! Naomi rains down fists, Tiffy shoves her away and goes to ropes, but Naomi gets up in Tiff’s face. Naomi whips, Tiff holds ropes to bail out and fans boo. Naomi scowls, runs in and WRECKS Tiff with a dropkick! Naomi then gets Tiff up, SMACKS her off the apron, and then SMACKS her off it again! And again! Naomi puts Tiff in, goes up a corner, but Tiff gets under the jump! Naomi runs back up but Tiff YANKS her into ropes! Tiff runs to HIP ATTACK! Naomi sputters, Tiff scowls and drags Naomi up, to then put through ropes. But Naomi RAMS into Tiff!

Naomi reels Tiff in, for a HEATSEEKER! Tiff flops to the floor, and then Naomi SPLIT LEG DROPS! Naomi says it’s #NaomiTime, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Naomi runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO! Naomi survives and Tiff is frustrated but the fans rally up. Tiff drags Naomi up, whips her to a corner, but Naomi goes up and sunset flips! TWO! Tiff escapes, knees Naomi low, then whips. Naomi slides under the lariat to then mule kick! Then she headscissor SPIKES Tiff down! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives but barely, and Naomi keeps her cool. Naomi headlocks, but Tiff shoves her into buckles! Tiff runs, but Naomi follows, DOUBLE RUNNING FACEBUSTERS take them both down! The fans fire up as the two rise!

Naomi KICKS, ROCKS and ROCKS Tiff again! Naomi fires shots again and again but Tiff knees low! Tiff reels Naomi in, but Naomi wrenches out to ENZIGIRI! And then BUCKLE BULLDOG! But then NIA JAX attacks Bayley!? Nia SMACKS Bayley off buckles, rains down fists, and this momentarily distracts Naomi. Naomi refocuses, but by now, Tiff’s slipped away! Nia KICKS Bayley in the side, so Naomi goes out to ROCK her! Nia POSTS Naomi and that throws the match out!

No Contest

The fans boo as Nia ruins the fun, then runs Bayley over! Nia smiles as she blows kisses to Cincy. Tiff smiles, she drags Naomi up and puts her in the ring. Then she drags Bayley in! Tiff wants a repeat of last week as she puts them side by side in the drop zone! Tiff then goes up and up for the PRETTIEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Tiff says it’s her time, but the #1 contendership is still in question. Who gets their shot at the Role Model at Backlash?

 

B-Fab and the Street Profits meet up backstage.

Angelo Dawkins has a “WHO-DEY” sign, but Montez Ford is wondering where Bobby Lashley is right now. B-Fab says calm down, he’ll be here. Byron Saxton walks over and apologizes for interrupting. He doesn’t know what the Draft destination for this group will be until Monday Night Raw, but we do know that The Profits will challenge A-Town Down Under for the WWE Tag Team Championships. YESSIIIIIIR~! B-Fab says it doesn’t matter where they get drafted. The Profits are going to take down A-Town Down Under and take those titles. Then they’ll have their first class tickets right back to SmackDown.

SmackDown? Did someone say SmackDown~? In walk Austin Theory & Grayson Waller, showing off the titles. And Theory says you can’t have SmackDown without the GREATEST undefeated tag team of all time. And sorry, Dawkins, but these are championships, something the Bengals know nothing about! B-Fab keeps Dawkins back, but then in steps Bobby Lashley! The All Mighty scares Theory & Waller right off, and Dawkins says see y’all next Friday! Will there be nothing keeping these Profits down the night before Backlash?

 

The Final Testament speaks.

Karrion Kross says good evening. What’s going on here? You guessed it! More random acts of violence! Just follow him. Kross & Scarlett lead the way to show The Authors of Pain beating down New Catch Republic! Rezar beats down Pete Dunne while Akam victimizes Tyler Bate! Paul Ellering says they will know about sacrifice! Kross says whether they get drafted to Raw or stay on SmackDown, the violence will continue until they get what they want! So sayeth The Final Testament!!

 

Teddy Long and JBL are here!

The Hall of Famer General Manager and the Hall of Famer WWE Champion are both here, ready to give us the fourth and final round of picks tonight! Teddy gets right to it! The first pick of the fourth round, SmackDown selects… AJ STYLES! The Phenomenal One is really an obvious choice, because one way or another, the WWE Championship stays with SmackDown! JBL says the second pick of the fourth round, Raw selects… THE ALPHA ACADEMY! Raw keeps Chad Gable, Otis, Maxxine Dupri & Akira Tozawa, A THANK YEW~!

Teddy says with the third pick of this round, SmackDown selects… ANDRADE! A big move as now El Idolo will be part of Friday nights. And with the final pick of this fourth round, Raw selects… NXT’S Kiana James! The Calculator, the former NXT Women’s Tag Team Champion, has the Raw hat to put on, and after a quick hype package, Jackie Redmond is there to interview her. Kiana, congratulations! You are heading to Monday Night Raw! How much does this mean to her? This means the world to her. She is filled with gratitude, but also knows every decision she has made up to this point has been by design to get her here.

Kiana is so proud of her time in NXT, but she’s ready to show Raw why she is the One Percent. Was she surprised? Of course she was! HBK is here to wish her luck and congratulations. Is Kiana going to start the hostile takeover of the Raw Women’s Division?

 

Backstage interview with Nick Aldis.

Kayla is with the SmackDown GM and says that with night one in the books, how does he feel about SmackDown’s selections? He feels really good about them. SmackDown’s future is bright, he can’t wait for the new recruits to show up and show out for the blue brand. But he also wants to turn attentions to Backlash, because he’s got some new matches to announce! The first PLE in France, this is exciting stuff, Kayla. Aldis says that the WWE Women’s Championship will now be on the line in a Triple Threat! Bayley VS Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton! Will the odds make it that much harder for the Role Model to succeed?

There’s one more match to announce, but Aldis will let the GM GOAT take it from here. Teddy Long steps in, and don’t forget. We’ll talk about this tag team match. The Bloodline VS Kevin Owens & Randy Orton! Holla, players. Solo & Tama will have to face The Viper and the Prizefighter, will #RKKO strike fast and strike hard?

 

Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes!

The American Nightmare just put pen to paper for his match with the Phenomenal One, but he isn’t one to shy away from a challenge. The former NXT Champion is shooting his shot, but will this be nothing but net? Or will it be a frustrating airball?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, the fans rally for Cody as he puts Melo in a corner then arm-drags him away. Melo runs up, Cody headlocks, Melo powers out then drops. Melo hurdles, but Cody kicks low to RHODES UPPERCUT! Melo staggers to ropes, the fans fire up, but then melo throat chops and springboard FLYING LARIATS! Melo says that’s why he’s a first round pick! But then Cody CLOBBERS him! Cody asks if Melo’s ready for this, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns once again and Cody has a headlock. Cody hits a takeover, Melo flails and kicks around, but Cody grinds him down. Melo pushes with his forearm, then headscissors, but Cody kips free. Melo CHOPS, the fans “WOO~!” but Cody brushes himself off. Melo pie faces Cody! Cody fires forearms on Melo, then whips, but Melo reverses. Melo ELBOWS Cody, then runs up to KICK him in the side! Melo fires forearms and CHOPS in a corner, then throws body shots. Melo digs his boot in, the ref counts, and Cody goes to another corner. Cody eggs Melo on, Melo storms up, but Cody puts him in the corner to CHOP!

Cody swings, Melo dodges and CHOPS! Cody turns things around to CHOP! The fans rally, Cody whips corner to corner, then he back drops Melo away! Melo staggers up, Cody runs, and he rallies on Melo with forearms! Cody goes up and over in a corner but Melo tilt-o-whirls, LA MYSTICA! Melo springboards, FADE AWAY! Cover, TWO! Cody survives that flying DDT, but we see the NXT roster all fired up watching Melo take it to the champ. Melo sits Cody up, drags him into a facelock, but the fans rally for Cody. Cody fireman’s carries but Melo slips free to dragon sleeper! Melo grins, but Cody cradles! TWO!!

Melo swings, Cody boots, then Cody springboards to BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! Melo flips inside-out, Cody covers, TWO! Melo is still in this and he snarls up at Cody. Melo gives a forearm, Cody gives it back, and the fans rally up. Cody scoops Melo, storms around, and then hits a RUNNING POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Melo survives and Cody grows frustrated. Cody pounds the mat, the fans rally up, and then Cody goes to ropes. Cody springboards again, CODY CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Melo survives yet again, proving why he’s a former NXT Champion, on top of NXT North American Champion! But then Cody drags him up!

Cody back suplexes, Melo lands out of it, then FIRST 48! Doe goes Cody and Melo goes up! Melo is setting up for the game winner! NOTHING BUT- NO, Cody avoids the flying leg drop! Melo rolls through, Cody dodges to SUPERKICK! Cody brings Melo around, but Melo gets free! They both run, both springboard, but completely miss each other, and Cody takes a rough landing! Melo drags Cody up, reels him in, but Cody wrenches out to dragon sleeper! CROSS RHODES!! Cody shakes out the bad arm but still makes the cover, and Cody wins!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall

Melo took his shot but it was blocked! Even so, Cody sits Melo up to show him respect and tell him he’s still the future. But did this match end up more of a trap game for Cody after that crash landing? Or will he be alright in time for Backlash and his phenomenal opponent?

Speaking of, Styles sneaks right into the ring! Cody sees him in time and Styles stays back. Cody and Styles stare down, but Styles says it was that close. Styles offers a handshake, and Cody takes it. There’s still respect here, for now. But will nothing stop Styles from turning Cody’s story into a tragedy after all?

My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown to open the WWE Draft but to also set up Backlash. To recap, SmackDown took Bianca, Melo, Orton, Nia, LA Knight, The Bloodline, Styles and Andrade while Raw took Jey, Rollins, Bron, Liv, Ricochet, Sheamus, The Alpha Academy, and Kiana. Many of those choices made sense, as picks won’t be wasted on keeping champions on brands, and just need to be used to keep most stories alive and change up a few others. Kiana is perhaps one of the more surprising moves, but well-deserved. She has been a solid character and solid in-ring performer almost from the start, she’s a solid addition to Raw.

Bron of course demolished his opponent tonight, it’s just a shame it was Cedric and not local enhancement talent. But Bron will also be a good addition to Raw, but maybe he can move past his squash match phase and get right to story. Melo being a first round pick was great stuff, and he had a great promo with Cody to give us tonight’s main event. That double springboard whiff was definitely a timing problem, but at the same time, a Fade Away countered into a Cody Cutter would’ve been way too epic just for TV. Cody with a great win, and we got a really good contract signing segment, but you can bet Cody retains.

Really good tag match from LWO VS Legado but naturally Rey & Dragon won. I knew it was only a matter of time before Carlito was outed, and how he handled being exposed was pretty good. And with Andrade being drafted to SmackDown, you just know that means Andrade joins the LWO. The Final Testament attacking New Catch Republic was a wild moment, I almost thought Ellering was going to use the pliers in his hands to grab at fingers. Maybe we get that next week for SmackDown in France. Good promos from A-Town Down Under and the still technically unnamed faction of Bobby Lashley’s. As great as The Profits are, it feels like Theory & Waller will cheat to retain.

Really good promo with Tiff and Bayley to set up Naomi VS Tiff round 3, but I did not think Nia Jax would disrupt all that. A Triple Threat at Backlash is good stuff, it will protect Bayley if she loses, but can also protect Naomi and Tiff if Bayley uses them against each other to win. Good promo from Bianca that then turned into the shouting match of Bianca & Jade with Kabuki Warriors. Their tag title match is official, and I’m pretty sure Bianca & Jade win. I also liked that this segment ended up having Kevin and Tama brawl right through it. Orton saving Kevin was a great move, RKKO VS Solo & Tama is going to be awesome stuff, I can’t wait to see it.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.25.2024

We just got done with Rebellion, and Under Siege is two weeks away! Gotta see how these dots connect!

Published

1 day ago

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April 25, 2024

By

Rebellion had quite a few returns, Mike Santana, Sami Callihan and Broken Matt Hardy. All three of these guys could easily be main event players, and its nice to mix up and expand what felt like a rather small pool of potential challengers.

Under Siege is only like 2 weeks out, so we’ll see how the dots connect in such a short period of time.

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
  • #1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via Grapevine Ankle Lock – ***
  • ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside: Xia wins via School Girl Roll-Up – ** 3/4
  • Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands: Sami Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – SQUASH
  • Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – *** 1/4

Results:

A weird opening that is just framed to put Nemeth and Hardy together against The System. Feels a little awkward, but who knows how it will play out. 

Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz

Ahh I didn’t really pay attention to Santana’s theme at Rebellion, but its pretty damn cool. Good stuff. 

Rascalz blindside Santana early, but the heel advantage doesn’t last more than a few moves. Santana whips Myron from corner to corner, hits a few Hip Attacks before Myron finally dodges one and starts using his unique offense and agility to his advantage. Matrix dodge, into an Leaping Outside Back in Slingshot Codebreaker. Some more offense and Santana powders to the ramp, Myron jumps over the rope and tries a Flying Cutter, but Santana blocks it, turns things around, gets pushed forward and hits the Rolling Cutter. Santana takes out the Rascalz, heads back into the ring, Myron tries to catch him unawares but eats the Spin the Block off the rope run! Santana wins fairly quickly.

Maclin’s music hits, he tries to employ the help of The Rascalz to attack Santana, but as soon as Maclin positions himself to get in, The Rascalz bail and flip off Maclin. Maclin makes it out of the confrontation relatively unscathed, but at least we know where he’s going for Under Siege probably.

OH FUCK ME WITH RUSTY KNIVES. Because Cardona is hurt Kon is paired with SDL, and she just challenges Jordynne and PCO to a tag match. WHY!? STOP IT. This is hot garbage. 

Josh Alexander comes out…I wonder who’s Super Finisher he’s gonna conveniently kick out this time? Brian Myers? Frankie Kazarian? Rich Swann? Because yes, I’m still annoyed that Hammerstone has been in TNA for half a sandwich, he already connects with a Super version of his finish on tacks, and that’s not a finish. Oh Kaz’s music hits. Okay, so time for Josh to kick out of Fade to Black or Flux Capacitor. Kaz talks smack, says he won his match too so he should have a say in who’s number one contender. Josh challenges him, Kaz says not right now, but a referee runs out and says the match is official. 

#1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander

Kaz throws his jacket on Josh’s head, and attacks him with some strikes before Josh fights back and throws Kaz out. Commercial break, we see Kaz misses his Apron Guillotine, Josh goes for the Low Crossbody but Kaz dodges and Josh goes flying. Kaz starts throwing some chops and claws at the cauliflowered ears of Josh. Russian Leg Sweep from Kaz for a near fall. Josh swings wildly and Kaz ducks the strike and levels Josh with a Lariat.

Josh blocks a Vertical Suplex attempt, but Frankie pulls off a Fisherman’s Suplex after a few overhead strikes for a near fall. Josh stands up and connects with a straight right, rocks Kaz, Back Body Drop, into a Charging Forearm, Rolling Senton, 2 count! C4 Spike attempt countered into a Back Stabber and then Chicken Wing, but Josh fights it off, rolls through and into an Ankle Lock, Kaz kicks off and into a Head and Arm Cradle for a near fall and then the Guillotine Leg Drop into Slingshot DDT spot from Kaz for another 2 count!

Fade to Black, but its fought off, Big Boot but then Kaz counters the next move with a Power Slam into the Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop, but Josh grabs the Ankle Lock! Locomotion German Suplex time from Josh, Halfhatch Suplex after the Germans, floats over for a 2 count! C4 Spike attempt again, but Kaz fights it off, dumps him over the top rope, slingshots him in and into the Cutter for a near fall for Kaz! After the 2 Kaz grabs a chair and chain, the referee stops the chair of course, so he tries the chain, EY runs down and grabs the chain so Kaz pulls the Eddie Guerrero and the referee admonishes EY, but doesn’t DQ Josh. So as Kaz is busy laughing at EY, Josh picks the ankle, Ankle Lock with the Grapevine, Kaz taps.

ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside

Both are jawing at each other and then throw hands before Xia gets the upper hand with a Headscissors from the Top Turnbuckle, Charging Knees, a Flurry of Kicks, but when the ref forces some space in the corner, ASH is finally able to dodge and work over Xia with her Twisting Body Splash, a few choking moves, a corner Stomp into a Snap Suplex for 2. ASH is in charge elegantly, but the referee keeps forcing space on both of them when they go for corner attacks. Xia manages to take advantage a little, but ASH regains control, kicks Xia up the ramp and then lands her Cartwheel Back Elbow up the ramp. It actually looks pretty cool executed like that.

Headlocks and Hair Pulling to keep Xia down and using energy to kick out. ASH is getting frustrated but Xia is remaining persistent. ASH goes back to the Headlock, but Xia fights up, Jawbreaker, Back Elbow, Kick to the gut and Drop Toe Hold sends ASH face first into the middle buckle. Xia rips off 4 Double Knee Smashes to the back of ASH’s head into her Flying Crossbody for a close 2! Xia pulls her up, but ASH spins out, then Xia slips it, but ASH kicks her in the chest and deposits her to the outside and demands a count from the referee. Iceman puts Jeweled Knuckles/Rings on ASH’s hand, the referee catches her, removes the stuff from her fingers and Xia hits the School Girl Roll-Up for the flash win.

Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands

So the Good Hand Jobs are about to do their job to Sami. I’m just gonna assume Sami beats the hell out of both and wins with a Cactus Driver ’97. If anything interesting happens I might actually cover it, but come on now.

Kaz makes a Metallica reference with the “Wash Your Back So You Won’t Stab Mine”…and Sweet Amber is the only good song on St. Anger. So…I ain’t mad.

Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth

A little early ground wrestling and headlocks for control from both men. Nothing super flashy to start until we get to the rope run and Nemeth goes for the Flying Body Press to drop Eddie. Before Nemeth can follow up, Lish grabs his foot. Nic does have his brother Ryan in the crowd, trying to get chants going and do the old school ‘power up the babyface’ thing, but Eddie has been in control since Lish got involved. Simple offense, chokes, strikes, Snap Suplexes, Knee Drops, simple yet effective. But then Eddie ducks his head too early, Nemeth kicks him in the face, bounces his head off the buckles a few times, Dropkick sends Eddie reeling to the corner, Nemeth starts the 10 Count Punches but Myers hits the apron to distract and Eddie manages to slip the situation and push Nemeth to the floor.

Commercial break happens, Nemeth is trying to fight back with Chops, but a Kitchen Sink from Eddie puts Nemeth on the floor again! Clubbing blow from Eddie, but Eddie then misses the Hip Attack in the corner and Nemeth counters with the Rude Awakening into the 10 Count Rain of Elbows. Fame Ass-er miss, Eddie tries something but Nemeth turns it into that hesitation DDT for 2! Tuning up the band starts to build and Eddie powders to avoid it. Nemeth throws Eddie back in, goes to the top, but Eddie crotches him, rises up and hits the Superplex into Tiger Driver for 2! Eddie starts mocking with Tuning Up the band but Nemeth hits his own Superkick into an Olympic Slam for 2!

Both men just trade strikes Fighting Spirit style, Eddie says “Always Trust the System” and Nemeth shuts him up with a Headbutt. Danger Zone is blocked, Boston Knee Party gets ducked, they level each other with Lariats! Myers and Ryan Nemeth start fighting to distract the referee, Moose hits the ring and hits Nemeth with the belt. Eddie lands Boston Knee Party and The System wins again!

 

Overall Score: 6/10

A lame opening segment, a squash match, ASH by Elegance getting her first loss, and a weird way of just pulling the number one contender out of mid air makes for an awkward show. Also Kon still be involved in, literally anything, is negative. However, I can say there was a ton of stuff thrown at the wall this episode, so there’s a chance that some things landed better with other people than myself. The ballot segments were amusing, they overused the “I need to talk to you Santino” gimmick a bit much and personally I feel like having Jake versus Hammerstone is booking yourself into a weird corner.

But hey, the main event was fun, Nemeth getting laid out to the point that there could be a story reason to take him out of the Under Siege match. Kaz with the Metallica reference was pop worthy and I guess its a lot of ‘let’s see where it goes’ kind of angle creation. So it wasn’t complete trash, but its definitely a wait and see episode.


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