Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (4/2/18)
All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Bayley VS Sonya Deville w/ Absolution; Bayley wins.
- Finn Balor VS Seth Rollins; Rollins wins.
- Goldust VS WOKEN Matt Hardy; Hardy wins.
- Heath Slater w/ Rhyno VS Elias; Elias wins.
- Alexa Bliss & Mickie James VS Dana Brooke & Asuka; Dana & Asuka win.
PLAY BY PLAY
Johnathan Coachman welcomes Atlanta to Raw!
This is it. Six nights away from @WrestleMania…#RAW is LIVE on @USA_Network! pic.twitter.com/UarFHrLiFb
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Wrestlemania is this Sunday, and we’re near the end of the road. Coach sets up the face-off conference of the star mixed tag match, and introduces the Raw Commissioner, Stephanie McMahon, as well as the COO, Triple H!
Behold the ?
The ? of ???#RAW @TripleH pic.twitter.com/nNMba2onek— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Then, he introduces the Raw GM, Kurt Angle–who gets the classic “You Suck!” chant–and of course, the Baddest Woman on the Planet, “Rowdy” Ronda Rousey!
#TeamRousey is in the building!#RAW @RealKurtAngle @RondaRousey pic.twitter.com/WlFuaqlwqM
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Everyone is in the ring now, and sit on their respective sides of the table. The fans chant, “Ronda Rousey! *clap clap clapclapclap*” Coach thanks the four for joining this face-off, and moves things to the Social Media Q&A. HHH speaks up, because he has a Q for Angle. “It’s a shame, really”, everyone chanting for Ronda, because the fans want to like her, but it’ll all be gone after Sunday. And it’ll all be Angle’s fault. “Intensity, Integrity, Intelligence”, an Olympic Gold Medalist with a broken freaking neck, yet it seems that third I of Intelligence doesn’t hold true. This right here is a prime example: they have Ronda Rousey, one of if not THE biggest signing to WWE, yet Angle ruins it by setting her up for “an embarrassment” at Wrestlemania. HHH has to know, “Why?”
Angle replies, but Ronda speaks up now. She asks the Authority why they were so two-faced. Stephanie excuses Ronda, she doesn’t understand how things work. But they’ll polish her up after they rebuild her from the beating on Sunday. Stephanie moves things to the questions, but Ronda says this was the format: she asked a Q, where’s the A? Stephanie plays along, saying they signed Ronda because she’s a star. Fans want to see Ronda in the WWE, and she is “best for business.” However, things work like this: HHH asked a question, Angle works for Stephanie, Angle messed Ronda up already, so what is there to misunderstand? Angle and Ronda work for the Authority, “so who they Hell do you think you are?” Angle takes it from here: “She’s Ronda Friggin’ Rousey.” An Olympic Medalist, UFC Champion, and come Wrestlemania, the one who makes Stephanie tap out.
Coach fails to cool things off as HHH asks Angle why he’s so confident. Yeah, she’s “Ronda Friggin’ Rousey”, with entire divisions built around her. In the WWE, that means nothing. Ronda’s dream of coming here compares nothing to how the WWE is Stephanie’s life, HHH’s life, “from beginning to end.” In this ring, The authority knows the rules, but Ronda has no idea what’s coming. The “massive learning curve” and the rules made by the Authority makes this “a forgone conclusion.”
Coach again tries to steer things to questions. “How important it is for you to win at Wrestlemania? And if you do, how will it impact eh future of the WWE?” Stephanie says it won’t be if, but when. And when the Authority wins, it’ll show that any uprising will end up with the bosses taking action to shut it down, and everyone will learn to #RespectAuthority. “How does Angle feel about teaming with Ronda Rousey?” Whether in the ring, cage, octagon, Ronda is the baddest woman, and she’ll prove it when Stephanie taps out.
And finally, an open question: “Any final thoughts before you head to Wrestlemania?” Stephanie says that this is all on Ronda for choosing this. Ronda will lose, her first ever match at Wrestlemania, to Stephanie. And we all know how Ronda handles losses. “Nice jacket, by the way.” Ronda replies with, “Steph, are you right or left handed?” Stephanie is right-handed. Ronda wanted to make sure Stephanie can still sign checks, even after she rips an arm off. Fans like the sound of that. Coach wraps things up with the photo op. Nothing like boxing or UFC, this will be classy and professional. The photographers come in and everyone moves to the front of the tables. Coach wishes everyone luck as he moves aside.
HHH and Angle come face to face, and Stephanie glares at Ronda. The gentlemen shake hands, but the ladies… Stehpanie offers, but when Ronda refuses, Stephanie trash talks. They get face-to-face, but Angle keeps the peace, only for HHH to attack from behind! Ronda gets HHH, but Stephanie body slams Ronda through a table! Stephanie says that’s for before, and the rest will be at Wrestlemania. “You’re not so tough.” The Authority stands tall after being underhanded, but will they regret their actions when the gloves are off?
Did @StephMcMahon just put @RondaRousey through a table?!
Yes, @StephMcMahon just put @RondaRousey through a table!#RAW #WrestleMania pic.twitter.com/eYbpeQ7LZ8
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Bayley VS Sonya Deville w/ Absolution!
History will be made THIS SUNDAY at #WrestleMania in the #WomensBattleRoyal! pic.twitter.com/9DIwmf5qnj
— WWE WrestleMania (@WrestleMania) April 3, 2018
Whether or not the Huggable One has a friend in the Legit Boss anymore, she isn’t going to let the Gladiator Gal go through her without a fight. With the inaugural Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal just up ahead, who will gain some final momentum before arriving in New Orleans?
The bell rings and the two circle. Bayley is wary of Absolution nearby, but that leaves her open to a kick to the leg. Sonya taunts Bayley, then circles again for another kick. Sonya goes for Bayley’s leg again but Bayley hops over and boots her back. The two battle over a backslide, Sonya whips but Bayley goes up and over to get a headlock takeover. Sonya stands up and powers out, but things speed up and Bayley ducks the elbow to whip. Sonya reverses but Bayley crossbodies! Bayley keeps on Sonya with another headlock, and turns Sonya’s counter into a takedown. Sonya keeps her shoulders up and stands up again, using the ponytail to take Bayley to a corner. She drives in shoulders while Absolution cheers, but the fans jeer.
Bayley counters Sonya’s run with a flapjack to buckles! Bayley hops up but Sonya yanks her off, so Bayley elbows her away. She hops up again and flies, but the arm-drag is blocked into a body check.
Who will pick up some all-important momentum before the @WrestleMania #WomensBattleRoyal: @itsBayleyWWE or @SonyaDevilleWWE?! #RAW pic.twitter.com/0oJnGbrJO8
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Cover, TWO, but Bayley keeps on Sonya with an arm wrench. Paige says “This is OUR House!” but Bayley has Sonya in a standing armbar. Sonya endures the wrench, then hits back with haymakers. Sonya whips but Bayley reverses, big corner clothesline! Bayley tugs, Sonya holds ropes so Bayley has to let go, sucker punch from Sonya and a roundhouse take Bayley down! Sonya trash talks Bayley while we go to break.
Raw returns to Sonya grinding Bayley in a bodyscissors. Bayley fights out as the fans rally, and she starts ramming Sonya’s head into the mat! She breaks free, runs, but into a spinebuster! Cover, TWO, but Sonya keeps on Bayley with knees to the chest. She runs, sliding knee into Bayley! Cover, TWO, and frustration grows for Absolutoin as a whole. Sonya stalks Bayley, toying with her. Bayley pushes back while fans rally again, but Sonya kicks away on Bayley’s stomach. Bayley dodges, but Sonya is upon her again, only for Bayley to counter! She punches and forearms away on Sonya, then rallies with lariats. Bayley puts Sonya in a corner for a mudhole stomping and a rain of hands. She goes to the outside, climbs up, and jumps for the crossbody!
Bayley keeps moving, running knee to Sonya’s head! Cover, TWO! Absolution bails Sonya out, but Bayley just exits the ring anyway. The referee keeps Paige and Mandy back, but Sonya knees Bayley back. Bayley counters the throw, and then hangs Sonya up with the hotshot! Cover, TWO, but Mandy is lurking. Bayley kicks her away but Sonya kicks her down, gutwrench cradle, TWO! Sonya kicks, Bayley ducks and rolls her up, Bayley wins!
Winner: Bayley, by pinfall
HARD-FOUGHT VICTORY for @itsBayleyWWE on #RAW over #Absolution's @SonyaDevilleWWE! pic.twitter.com/bAdUfdEWi4
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
But Absolution pounces! Mandy hammers away, joined by Sonya. Here comes Sasha! The Boss tackles Mandy then fights off Sonya. Sasha throws Mandy out but Sonya is on her again. Bayley helps now, throwing Sonya out. The Raw Horsewomen stand tall, and the fans are loving it, but Sasha wants Bayley to raise her hand? Bayley won the match, not Sasha! Sasha gets in Bayley’s face so Bayley fights back! She rains rights but Sasha comes back, and so does Absolution! Mandy and Sonya club away, then a roundhouse for Bayley, Golden Driver for Sasha! The “friends” are down, will they be able to get up in time for the battle royal?
Raw takes a look at Asuka’s Streak.
October 7th, 2015: it began. For over two years, 908 days, the Empress of Tomorrow has racked up 265 wins, not one loss. She’s conquered 35 women, eight of them former champions, and all submitting to her Asuka Lock. Asuka knows nothing but winning in both NXT and WWE. The only reason she isn’t still NXT Women’s Champion is because she had to vacate the title when she came to Raw. She is a Sole Survivor and a Royal Rumble Winner in the same year, and she won the inaugural Women’s Rumble. Unlike any wrestler before her, she heads for Wrestlemania against SmackDown Women’s Champion, The Queen of Flair, Charlotte! Will the Streak live on through the Grandest Stage of Them All?
It's STREAK vs. TITLE THIS SUNDAY at #WrestleMania when @WWEAsuka challenges @MsCharlotteWWE for the #SDLive #WomensChampionship! #RAW pic.twitter.com/NeJNKrEwKe
— WWE WrestleMania (@WrestleMania) April 3, 2018
Finn Balor VS Seth Rollins!
#BalorClub is out and about in the ATL…@FinnBalor goes toe-to-toe with @WWERollins NEXT on #RAW! pic.twitter.com/GPSbKCNSMk
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The Extraordinary Man and the Architect are both going after The Miz’s Intercontinental Championship in a Triple Threat, but they first want to settle things between each other. Can the inaugural Universal Champion notch another win over the former world champion? Or will “Seth Freakin’ Rollins” get even this close to becoming a Grand Slam Champion?
However, The Miz is also here to keep an eye on his contenders from commentary! New baby Monroe will have to watch daddy watch Finn VS Rollins.
New dad. Same title.#ICChampion @mikethemiz is in the building TONIGHT on #RAW! pic.twitter.com/jWRvvP7VCU
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
#TheArchitect @WWERollins has ONE mission tonight: BEAT @FinnBalor.#RAW pic.twitter.com/EDtWG6MYpE
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The bell rings, Rollins circles with Finn, and then they tie up. Rollins gets the waistlock but Finn the standing switch and they go around with hammerlocks. Rollins gets a headlock, then an arm-wrench but Finn tries to counter. Finn ends up on the mat, but kip-up and wrenches to an arm-drag takedown. Rollins headscissors, Finn pops out, Rollins headlocks, Finn headscissors, Rollins pops out, and the two stand up in a stand-off. Fans applaud while Finn grins, and the two circle again. They tie up but Finn goes low for the leg. He gets Rollins to a hammerlock, snapping back to wrench it. Rollins works his way out, Finn wrenches the wrist. Rollins rolls and handsprings but Finn powers out, only for Rollins to run him over. Finn gets to ropes but Rollins headlock takeover, grinding Finn to the mat.
Finn makes it a cover, TWO, but Rollins holds on. They stand up, Finn powers out and arm-drags Rollins back down to the armlock. They stand up again, Rollins whips but Finn reverses. Rollins rolls over and shoulders Finn down. Things speed up, Finn arm-drags, and they stand-off again. Rollins and Finn are still evenly matched while we go to break.
Raw returns to Rollins whipping but Finns reversing. Rollins sunset flips but Finn rolls through to dropkick. Finn wrenches Rollins fights out. Finn hits back and Rollins gets mad. Rollins shoves, Finn shoves back. They both glance at the Wrestlemania sign, and a brawl breaks out! They go back and forth with wild rights, then Rollins knees. Rollins throws Finn out tot he floor, then follows him out to chop him against the barriers. He puts Finn into the apron while the ring count starts, continuing with throwing Finn into barriers. Fans are fired up as Rollins puts Finn back in the ring. Finn fights back, throwing Rollins out. Finn dropkicks Rollins down, then from the apron, he Penalty Kicks Rollins down!
A Finn Flex and then Finn brings Rollins back into the ring. Cover, ONE, and Miz enjoys this long showcase. Finn kicks Rollins in the back, covers, ONE. Rollins gets to a corner but Finn gives him a chop, then another chop. Finn stalks Rollins, whips him corner to corner, running- No, buckle shot! Rollins hops up, blockbuster! Cover, TWO, but Rollins keeps his cool. He drives elbows right into Finn’s forehead, then puts him in a chinlock. Rollins squeezes and grinds Finn down, we go picture in picture to plug Shinsuke VS Styles. Finn gets up but Rollins wrangles him right back down. He endures the squeeze, then works his way up to his feet. Finn pries his way out but Rollins turns it into a neckbreaker! Finn gets to the apron but Rollins goes outside and takes aim. Rollins boots Finn back into the ring!
#ICChampion @mikethemiz is a NEW MAN as he watches @WWERollins and @FinnBalor tear each other apart just six nights before #WrestleMania! #RAW pic.twitter.com/ShV3a14JJL
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Cover, TWO! Rollins keeps frustration at bay, but Finn hits back. They go back and forth with chops, then Rollins suplexes but Finn slips out, only for Rollins to elbow him away. Finn in a corner, he boots Rollins back. Finn rallies with forearms, then whips but Rollins reverses, only for Finn to hit another. The fans fire up, Finn chops Rollins in the corner again. Corner to corner, Rollins boots Finn away. Rollins hops up but Finn yanks him off! Finn tries the 1916 but Rollins rolls him up, TWO! Finn goes again, elbow DDT! Cover, TWO! And Finn can’t believe it!
Finn gets up and to a corner, fans firing up for him. He takes aim at Rollins, runs out, but Rollins denies the slingblade to hit HIS slingblade! Finn gets out of the ring, Rollins builds speed, and DIVES! Direct hit! Both men are down on the outside, we go to break.
Raw returns as Finn fires up, and hits his slingblade! He runs again, but into a SUPERKICK!
?#RAW @WWERollins @FinnBalor pic.twitter.com/SdM4YZAHgp
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Miz says this is the best match he’s seen all year while Rollins reaches for a cover, TWO! The fans declare, “This is Awesome!” Finn flounders to a corner while Rollins staggers to his feet. Rollins runs in for the forearm smash, then another but Finn dodges to swing kick him down! Finn climbs up, but Rollins sits him down! Rollins climbs up to join Finn, slowly preparing the superplex, but Finn resists. Finn fights back with clubbing forearms. Rollins goes down again, Finn adjusts, but Rollins returns, for the SUPERPLEX roll through but Small Package! TWO!! Rollins can’t believe how close that was, and drags Finn back up. Finn revives again but Revolution Knee! Cover, TWO!? Miz loves this!
#ICChampion @mikethemiz = all of us right now.#RAW @WWERollins @FinnBalor pic.twitter.com/gPh6WITvqd
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Rollins gets to a corner, climbs up, takes aim, then jumps, but the frog splash hits knees! TWO!! Even The Miz is shocked. Finn gets to his feet while Rollins rolls and slumps out of the ring. Finn goes to that apron, Penalty- No, Rollins brings him up, deja vu, but Finn fights out to SLINGBLADE! Blasting dropkick! Finn avenges his Summerslam injury and puts Rollins back in the ring. He climbs up again, takes aim again, and jumps, but rollins rolls away. Mule kick, Curb- No, a shove and a roll, TWO, roll back, CURB STOMP!! Rollins wins!!
Winner: Rollins, by pinfall
1️⃣-2️⃣-3️⃣…and WHAT A MATCH!@WWERollins STOMPS his way to a win over @FinnBalor just SIX nights before #WrestleMania! #RAW pic.twitter.com/YdtTdha6fE
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The Architect finally gets one on the Extraordinary Man. Miz stands up on the commentary table so that everyone gets a good look at his Intercontinental Championship. Will Miz keep a hold of that title to become the longest reigning IC Champion ever? Will Rollins take it away to become a Grand Slam Champion? Or will Finn turn his momentum around and make that title #TooSweet?
Well, @FinnBalor took an L, but @WWERollins and @mikethemiz are more ready than ever for #WrestleMania! #RAW pic.twitter.com/cTJ7cvNLr5
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Raw reviews the saga of Lesnar VS Reigns.
The Beast won the WWE Universal Championship a year ago at Wrestlemania off THE Goldberg. Ever since then, the “reigning, defending, undisputed” champion would remain such even after taking on Kane, Samoa Joe, Braun Strowman and Roman Reigns. Roman meanwhile had to take the long road back to Wrestlemania, winning the Elimination Chamber #1 Contender’s match. He vows he’s telling the truth about being able to beat Lesnar. He also told the truth on how Lesnar doesn’t care or respect anyone in the WWE, from employees to management to fans. At the same time, Roman said he doesn’t want Vince McMahon to disrespect him. Vince would suspend Roman for his comments, but Roman didn’t care, he kept coming to work.
However, this would also backfire. Roman fought off U.S. Marshals, only for Lesnar to take advantage of the handcuffs! Lesnar savagely beat the collared Roman, both with German Suplexes and with a chair. Battered and bruised, Roman would still man up to get in Lesnar’s face and even take another beating. Roman got his licks in, but Lesnar still got the better of him. With Wrestlemania on the horizon, can Roman return to get his revenge?
THIS SUNDAY: #UniversalChampion @BrockLesnar defends the title he won exactly ONE YEAR AGO against #TheBigDog @WWERomanReigns at #WrestleMania! #RAW pic.twitter.com/EqR5GHEUOc
— WWE WrestleMania (@WrestleMania) April 3, 2018
Paul Heyman talks “Brocktagon” with someone on his phone.
However, Kurt Angle walks over to talk with The Advocate. He tells Heyman as the GM, that the most important part of ‘Mania is keeping the main event intact. Heyman agrees, but asks how this is any different than any other night? He’ll say nice things about Roman and tell Lesnar to save it for Sunday. Angle wants to make sure Heyman doesn’t instigate anything between the two men where they might get hurt. Heyman just laughs. Angle is worried about Lesnar getting hurt? Yes, because they both want to hurt each other period! Just don’t do anything of the sort, Heyman. Heyman promises not to, but he’s still chuckling to himself. Will there be any last attacks before the ‘Mania match?
#RAW General Manager @RealKurtAngle wants to make sure @HeymanHustle doesn't do anything to incite @WWERomanReigns too much tonight… pic.twitter.com/FrfEE1VAox
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
The Bar head to the ring.
You know what they are…
THE BAR! #RAW @WWECesaro @WWESheamus pic.twitter.com/1UxzUjwAPk
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The Swiss Cyborg & the Celtic Gladiator are set to face The Monster Among Men for the Raw Tag Team Championships, but it doesn’t matter to them who Braun Strowman gets as a partner. “Because as big as you are or as strong as you are, it’s still a tag team match.” Strowman will have to tag his partner in at some point, and they need to be on the same page, including plans B, C, D, etc, but it won’t matter because they’ll never be a real team or real tag team champions. But then Strowman appears!
Hands are about to be gotten, because here comes The #MonsterAmongMen @BraunStrowman! #RAW pic.twitter.com/AZywruiS9u
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The fans chant “Get These Hands!” for Strowman as he walks onto the stage. “If you’re trying to say that I don’t play well with others, than you’re right.” Strowman says that management made it clear he has to have a partner, and he got one! They were just talking, and his partner doesn’t appreciate what these “clowns” were saying. In that case, that partner should come out and tell The Bar to their faces! “Don’t worry, he will, under one stipulation: he wants a match with one of you!” A match against the mystery partner? The fans like the sound of that! And The Bar can’t pass this opportunity up. The mystery partner will get his match! “Good. I’ll go get him.” Strowman warns them, though, “he’s a lot like me, just a little different.”
Strowman disappears into the back while The Bar discusses what to do, and then Strowman returns. Wearing glasses and a shirt!
"My brother's Braun. I'm BRAINS, and I'm about to knock yours out of your head!"#BrainsStrowman is about to take on either @WWECesaro or @WWESheamus on #RAW! pic.twitter.com/DzxUv3yEwB
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
“My brother’s Braun, I’m Brains! And I’m about to come out there and knock yours out of your heads!” “Brain” Strowman heads to the ring, and Sheamus volunteers Cesaro. But reveal! It’s just Braun! And he fights them both! He throws Cesaro off and punches Sheamus, but Sheamus saves Cesaro to BROGUE Strowman! The Bar has numbers on their side as they hammer away, but Strowman just shoves them both away! He runs Sheamus over and throws Cesaro again! The Bar retreats to regroup but Strowman wants more! Does Braun really have a partner to team with? And if he does, will that team break The Bar on Sunday?
THIS SUNDAY: @BraunStrowman MUST find a partner to challenge #TheBar @WWECesaro & @WWESheamus for the #RAW #TagTeamTitles at #WrestleMania! pic.twitter.com/KnW9EM16Ua
— WWE WrestleMania (@WrestleMania) April 3, 2018
Goldust speaks.
The Bizarre One says it’s “skill against skill alone – Princess Bride”. Those were Andre the Giant’s words, and Goldust vows to win his Memorial Battle Royal to put his name on the gold statue. Then HBO will make a documentary about him, so that the world will never forget the name “Goldust”.
But WOKEN Hardy responds!
The Golden One seeks the same prize, to join the pantheon of giants! Hardy vows to be the one honoring the Humongous Wonder #8, and all others will be OBSOLETE! As for tonight, it shall be the Bizarre One who is scheduled for DELETION!
Goldust VS WOKEN Matt Hardy!
Raw returns to this match already in progress as Hardy puts Goldust back in the ring. He rocks Goldy with a haymaker, then whips, but Goldust drops down for the uppercut. Goldust breathes in and hisses at Hardy, but Hardy says that was, “WONDERFUL~!” He applauds, and the fans applaud with him. Hardy ducks a punch to give a punch then whips. Goldust boots back, then puts Hardy into a post. Goldust goes to the outside and mocks Hardy before rocking him with another uppercut. He stomps on Hardy in the ring, then drags him up but Hardy hits back with body shots. Hardy runs, but into a spinebuster! Cover, TWO, but Goldust keeps on Hardy.
Goldust hammers away on Hardy, then takes another deep breath, only for Hardy to throw haymakers. Hardy forearms then “DELETE!” buckle bumps Goldust over and over from top to bottom. Hardy backs off, then says “DELETE!” before running in for the corner clothesline. Goldust denies the bulldog, but runs into a Side Effect! Cover, TWO! Hardy continues the “DELETE!” but Goldust pushes off and powerslams! Cover, TWO! Goldust gets to a corner and climbs up, to take a deep breath and jump, but misses the elbow! Hardy gets up and kicks, Twist– Roll up! TWO! Goldust kicks, drops down but Hardy hits him first. Then, Twist of Fate! Cover, TWO!
Winner: WOKEN Hardy, by pinfall
A DELIGHTFUL victory for #WOKEN @MATTHARDYBRAND as he hands @Goldust his #TwistOfFate on #RAW! pic.twitter.com/W5BbDquIDb
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The WOKEN Wisdom rolls on towards the Memorial Battle Royal, and Hardy tells the statue of the Wonder #8 that he will “PROCURE! PROCURE!” a spot on the plaque. Will Hardy make Andre the Giant proud during the Wrestlemania kickoff?
The mission is clear for #WOKEN @MATTHARDYBRAND at #WrestleMania…
PROCURE! PROCURE! PROCURE! #RAW pic.twitter.com/fbkX60Uf6R
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Alexa Bliss & Mickie James speak.
They look cute in their selfie cam. The Goddess tried this once with Nia, but the phone broke. Not surprising, she has a face for radio. And Nia gets an exclusive interview? Maybe she’ll start blubbering. Emphasis on blubber. But when Alexa beats Nia, Nia will blubbering in her blubber. #EW! Will The Goddess suffer the wrath of the Irresistible Force in their Raw Women’s Championship match?
JOHN CENA is here!
?? #RAW @JohnCena pic.twitter.com/Zz0gahal9r
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Atlanta sings “John Cena Sucks~!” for him as he heads for the ring. The Face that Runs the Place didn’t get a response from The Undertaker on a Wrestlemania Match last week, even during a No Disqualification match with the Deadman’s Brother of Destruction, Kane. Cena hears the fans chant, “Undertaker!”, and admits he was wrong. In that they’re out of time and there’s still no answer. Cena was wrong to think there was no response, because silence means “no”. Fans might be upset, but not Cena. Cena did what Cena could to get Taker to do something, but ready or not and Wrestlemania is around the corner. He’ll go fired up like all the fans. Fans have asked about a match, but Cena is going as a fan, too.
Michael Cole even told Cena “that’s stupid, just enter the Battle Royal. Or be Braun’s partner,” or any number of things. Cole hasn’t done his research, Cena won’t do that because he lost the Rumble, the Chamber, and at Fastlane, so just entering another match takes a spot from a full-time spot from someone who earned it. Going against Taker was a last chance moment for them both! It’d be a match where no one’s spot is taken, just two “larger than life” superstars fighting it out. One year ago today, Cena’s life changed, shout-out to Nikki Bella. Everyone reads the news about Cena’s career. He’s fed off the energy of the fans, and maybe this year is the right time for a change.
Fans still chant, “Undertaker!” Hopefully Taker hears that. But Cena will say this now: he’s going as a fan, and he’s “damn proud of it.” Cena is proud to sit and watch the “most amazing Wrestlemania card of all time”, even without him. Daniel Bryan is back where he belongs, and Cena is proud of him for it. Cena is proud to watch the greatest in-ring performer get the moment he deserves, AJ Styles defends the WWE Championship. He’s even proud that Wrestlemania will be on Rusev Day! Elias will do stuff, but Cena does know what WWE stands for. Cena is proud of all the Women’s Division matches, because they continue to prove success is not based on gender. “So ladies and gentlemen,” Cena is damn proud to be a fan!
"I'm going to #WrestleMania as a fan, and I'm DAMN proud of it!" – @JohnCena #RAW pic.twitter.com/xyYLGyyVaa
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
But he’ll take one second to apologize. Cena did everything from in-ring to social media, and he knows the fans did, too. From Dallas to Detroit to Cleveland and Atlanta– Wait, have they really even tried yet? They haven’t? Can Atlanta get loud enough? The fans sure try. “Sounds like Atlanta is about as serious as a Dallas warm-up.” They gotta give way more than that. Make some noise to summon the Undertaker! Atlanta gives it their all, but still not enough. “Hotlanta, you gotta listen to me!” If they want lightning, be the thunder! Shout so they hear you all the way to Death Valley! The fans try a third time, giving 110%, but still nothing. They chant “Undertaker!” once more to see if it’ll work. It echoes out over and over, but it doesn’t seem to be working. Fans turn to boos.
“Hear that, Undertaker?” Four weeks straight, the WWE Universe pours its heart out, yet you don’t do a thing. Cena isn’t upset with Wrestlemania, but he’s upset with Taker. Ignore Cena, fine. But ignore the fans? “You are a dead man walking.” Taker, it’s obvious he left his hat in the ring, but he left his balls at home. Harsh words again, but still no response. And fans turn to chanting for Cena. Cena leaves it at that, because he’s out of ideas. Why is it that Taker won’t respond? Will Taker ever show himself again?
He said he all he could…and still no answer.@JohnCena will see YOU, the @WWEUniverse, THIS SUNDAY at #WrestleMania! pic.twitter.com/f8oS0ypW5S
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Roman Reigns is in the locker room!
Kurt Angle meets with him and says that with no Cena VS Taker, he hopes Roman won’t ruing another ‘Mania match. Heyman agreed to keeping the peace, but Roman doesn’t believe it. Is Lesnar even here? Yes! Then Roman is not going anywhere. Roman has respect for Angle, so he’ll hear Heyman out. But everything for the last year and the last six years Lesnar has disrespected everyone else, Roman will be ready the moment Lesnar says anything stupid. Angle can take the peace treaty back to the pawn shop where he pawned those gold medals. Roman is riled up, will he be able to contain himself when he meets The Beast?
#TheBigDog @WWERomanReigns isn't about to show @BrockLesnar ANY mercy tonight… #RAW pic.twitter.com/fj4sQFptYD
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”
Listen to @IAmEliasWWE strum that ?#RAW pic.twitter.com/jb7Se7IGH8
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The Drifter is back, and as he plays his guitar, he asks Atlanta as he always asks the crowd, “Who Wants to Walk with Elias?!” Atlanta seems very positive about that. Elias has the keys to life, and if you want to save your soul, know that in your heart and with every fiber of your being, WWE means “Walk With Elias”! He’s in Atlanta, but how is this “hellhole of a dump” the last stop before ‘Mania? If Elias was in charge, they’d be in a city that matters. But that’s fine, he’ll be leaving after tonight to put on the greatest performance of a lifetime. For now, silence cell phones, hold applause and shut mouths while he sings.
“I’m Just One Man!” Wait, that’s Slater.
Heath Slater w/ Rhyno VS Elias!
With @Rhyno313 in tow, @HeathSlaterOMRB is looking to make a big splash on #RAW against @IAmEliasWWE! pic.twitter.com/wU2SsykMEp
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The One Man Band wants payback for when Elias not only defeated Rhyno but also ambushed him afterward. They tie up, but Eilas powers Slater to a corner. Elias gives body shots and shoulders, then chops Slater sharp. Elias whips and runs SLater over, but the faens rally with “Heath’s Got Kids!” Slater dodges in a corner, then jabs and haymakers on Elias. Slater whips but Elias reverses, only for Slater to knee him down. Heel kick, too! Slater brings Elias up, but Elias rocks him with a jumping knee! Elias keeps gonig, Drift Away! Cover, Elias wins!
Winner: Elias, by pinfall
Just like that, @IAmEliasWWE makes @HeathSlaterOMRB #DriftAwayon the final #RAW before #WrestleMania!
Next stop, New Orleans… pic.twitter.com/qG4ifemdGG
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Swift but stiff, the Drifter gets his hand raised for another win. What is this performance he speaks of for Wrestlemania? And will it really be as amazing as he makes it out to be?
Braun Strowman encounters Curt Hawkins backstage.
What a coincidence! Hawkins saw what happened out there, and was wondering if Strwowman would pick him. What’s his win-loss record? Umm… Not great, but that’s fine! Strowman can be his big break! Strowman throws Hawkins through a wall!
There go @TheCurtHawkins' hopes of being picked as @BraunStrowman's tag team partner at #WrestleMania… pic.twitter.com/cJhYiDxSJW
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
“There’s your big break.” In other words, he’s not picking Hawkins. But who will Strowman pick for a partner?
Exclusive interview with Nia Jax.
After finding out how two-faced The Goddess was, the Irresistible Force will get revenge in a Raw Women’s Championship match. She sits down with Renee Young, who sympathizes with how “hurt and devastated” she must be. Nia says that emotionally, she felt like she was back to growing up as a kid. But she’s learned that you just need to respect and honor yourself, and ignore what others say about you. You should respect your God-given abilities and seize opportunities. The other women respect and admire Nia and her accomplishments, but Nia has been so down on herself. She can’t believe she thought someone like Alexa was her friend. Alexa said many hurtful things, like how Nia is a “desperate, needy, gullible loser”.
Those comments hurt, but Nia reminded herself, “I don’t take that sh*t.” She’s different, but she loves herself. This is what God and her mama gave her, so she should never feel sorry about that. Alexa is like all the other haters who said she shouldn’t, couldn’t and wouldn’t make it in the WWE. Nia says this directly to Alexa now: “You’re nothing but an insecure little girl.” The little fly is gonna get squashed like a bug! Can Nia win not just for herself but for every person who has ever been mistreated based on their appearance?
"At #WrestleMania, I'm going to SQUASH you like a bug."
That's all @NiaJaxWWE needs to say to #RAW #WomensChampion @AlexaBliss_WWE just five nights before @WrestleMania… pic.twitter.com/igRsXuKUzG
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Alexa Bliss & Mickie James VS Dana Brooke & Asuka!
UP NEXT: #RAW #WomensChampion @AlexaBliss_WWE and @MickieJames team up to take on @DanaBrookeWWE and the undefeated @WWEAsuka! pic.twitter.com/sfaizmzAie
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
The Goddess and #KickieJames look to give the Raw Women’s Champion momentum going into her match, but what good will it do when the Statistician has the undefeated Empress on her side?
Reppin' #TitusWorldwide, it's @DanaBrookeWWE! #RAW pic.twitter.com/UqKrVcpcfW
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
From far and wide, lightyears away, here comes The #EmpressOfTomorrow!#RAW @WWEAsuka pic.twitter.com/aSU5uqoYvC
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Dana starts against Alexa, assuring Asuka her Streak won’t be tanked in this tag match. Alexa doesn’t even take Dana seriously, but they tie up and Dana gets the wristlock. Dana keeps Alexa away from Mickie, as well as the ropes, so Alexa stomps her foot. Alexa gets the wristlock but Dana reverses it back. The fans chant “Biscuit Butt” at Alexa but she forearms her way out of the hold. Alexa whips but Dana reverses, handspring back elbow in the corner! Dana fireman carry, but Alexa slips out to reel her into a kidney punch. Tag to Mickie, and the mean girls mug Dana with a kick. Mickie wristlocks and hammerlocks Dana, but Dana slips around to roll up, TWO. Fans want Asuka, so Mickie taunts the fans as she hits Dana. Dana hits back, then pushes Mickie to a corner.
Dana rams in shoulders, then lets up long enough to whip her corner to corner. Another handspring but Mickie dodges and boots Dana down! Asuka coaches Dana up but has to stay back. Mickie stomps and kicks Dana more, toying with her even. She brings Dana up, fans keep cheering for Asuka, and Dana scoop slams Mickie down! Dana runs, but handsprings onto knees! Mickie poses and embraces the heat while we go to break.
The team of @MickieJames and @AlexaBliss_WWE is in FULL control on #RAW… pic.twitter.com/MRTNBk2Rf1
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Raw returns once more to Mickie holding Dana down in a chinlock. Asuka rallies the fans and Dana feeds off their energy to bump her way out of the hold. She runs but Mickie yanks her down by her hair! Mickie puts Dana back in the hold, Dana endures. Dana sits up, the fans rally but Mickie thrashes. Dana still stands up and fights out, then runs, but into the kitchen sink knee! Mickie drags Dana over, tags Alexa, and Mickie whips Alexa in for the slap! Alexa toys with Dana, kicking her while she’s down, then stomping skateboard style. Cover, TWO, but Alexa keeps on Dana with another chinlock. Dana continues to endure, Asuka still rallying for her. Dana fights up and out again, but Alexa knees back. Alexa wants a tag, but Dana suplexes her!
Both women are down, crawling for their corners. Hot tags to Mickie and Asuka! The Empress rallies with a flurry of strikes. Mickie runs, but into the pop-up knee! Asuka unleashes kick after kick, then runs to hip attack Alexa down! Mickie bails out but Asuka goes after her with an apron sliding kick!
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE'S ASUKA!#RAW @WWEAsuka pic.twitter.com/DuUbZz6Qth
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Asuka curses her out in Japanese, then puts Mickie back in the ring. Mickie hits the Mick Kick! Cover, TWO! Another, ONE, and Mickie throws frustrated hands. Mickie calms down to climb up top, but Asuka gets under her to put on the Asuka Lock! Mickie is trapped, reaching for ropes, but she taps! Asuka & Dana win!
Winners: Dana & Asuka, Asuka by submission
But Alexa pounces! She and Mickie won’t let her get out of this unharmed. Dana returns but she’s only caught in a 2-on-1 DDT!
VICTORY for the team of @WWEAsuka & @DanaBrookeWWE, but @AlexaBliss_WWE & @MickieJames didn't get the memo… #RAW pic.twitter.com/bZTDz0ZYII
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
But then NIA appears! The Brutal Beauty runs to the ring, Alexa runs away but gets caught! Mickie saves Alexa again, but Nia just throws her off with one arm, to squash her in a corner. Then fireman’s carry, Samoan Drop! Nia put down Alexa’s newest bestie, will she crush Alexa once and for all at Wrestlemania?
A tale of two faces heading into #WrestleMania this Sunday…#RAW @AlexaBliss_WWE @NiaJaxWWE pic.twitter.com/Bcpov3OVvo
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Kurt Angle finds Heyman & Lesnar backstage.
Where are they going? To the ring, obviously. Heyman will be positive about Roman Reigns. The Beast and his Advocate continue on their way out, will this last Raw before ‘Mania finish with fury?
UP NEXT: @HeymanHustle and @BrockLesnar are on their way to the ring to talk "positive" about the challenger for the #UniversalChampionship at #WrestleMania, @WWERomanReigns! #RAW pic.twitter.com/OJk1sWmALa
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Paul Heyman & Brock Lesnar head to the ring!
Atlanta becomes Suplex City as they walk out, but other WWE superstars are used to form a barrier between the ring and the ramp. Heyman begins with introductions, but that extra security is a bit distracting.
A WALL of #RAW Superstars seems to be blocking the entrance ramp while @BrockLesnar & @HeymanHustle address the @WWEUniverse… pic.twitter.com/9DbrWmfHAD
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Just because Angle got emasculated when he failed to help Ronda Rousey, this is clearly overcompensation. He thinks he has control over Roman Reigns? The only one with control is the “reigning, defending, undisputed” Universal Champion, BROCK LESNAR! “It’s true, it’s damn true.” And Heyman hereby promises to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me God.” And the truth is, the last time Wrestlemania was in New Orleans, Heyman gave us a promise that Lesnar would break Undertaker’s Streak. Fans booed then, they boo now, but it wasn’t a promise, it was a spoiler alert. It happened, and Lesnar & Heyman laughed at the doubters.
And Wrestlemania, back in New Orleans, “the only two beings that hold a Wrestlemania victory over the Undertaker” collide for the title. Everyone acts like Roman is fated to dethrone Lesnar this year as if that’s the spoiler. To tell the truth, you should respect Roman’s talent, his family bloodline, his victories and his “badassery”, but the truth is, Wrestlemania Sunday, 4/8/18, in New Orleans, Lesnar will F5 Roman and pin him in the ring “1-2-3”. That’s not a promise or a prediction, that’s a spoiler. Heyman says an unfortunate truth that accidents happen. If Lesnar were to injure himself hurting someone else, then this will be the last time you see Lesnar on Raw. Heyman will save the good-byes for later, but he’ll dispel something “out of character” for Lesnar. Lesnar’s persona built since 2002, his dominance and lack of respect, is all true!
If anything, his persona is held back, because Lesnar feels no one anywhere is worth even holding his jockstrap. No one has the money or the power to hold Lesnar anywhere. Roman’s only choice is to accept defeat, because he has no other option! “So here’s how it goes.” Roman wants a victory party? No, he’ll go home to his wife and kids and fathers, uncles and cousins and admit he got beat, victimized and conquered by BROCK LESNAR. The truth is, Roman isn’t a Big Dog and this isn’t his Yard, he’s just another notch on the belt. That is to say, “you’re just Brock Lesnar’s b*tch.” But Roman Reigns appears!
#TheBigDog @WWERomanReigns has heard enough, but he's going to have to get through this WALL of #RAW Superstars if he wants a piece of @BrockLesnar! #WrestleMania pic.twitter.com/VvqyRVJuxv
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Roman walks up to the wall of Raw superstars, but they won’t let him go. They’re full-timers, standing up for the part-time “bastard”? Just think about it guys. They do think about it, and even discuss it. From The Bar to Titus Worldwide to the Revival, they stand aside.
CLEAR PATH ATTAINED for @WWERomanReigns…#RAW #WrestleMania pic.twitter.com/Nr0AYJ4RUh
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
Roman walks right down the ramp, and Lesnar dares him to do something. Lesnar wants Roman to think about this real hard, but fans are actually on Roman’s side. Roman walks up the steel steps, and gets in the ring. Lesnar puts the belt down, and the two circle. The tension mounts, but Lesnar slips out of the ring, retrieving his belt in the process. Lesnar and Heyman saunter around the ring, Roman keeping his eyes on them. That gets Lesnar to get a chair, just like last week. Lesnar brings that chair in with him, but Roman doesn’t flinch.
The two circle again, Heyman saying Lesnar should “Victimize him!” but SUPERMAN PUNCH! And another! And another! Roman reloads while Lesnar flounders, a FOURTH Superman Punch! Lesnar slowly stirs, going for the chair again, SUPERMAN PUNCH Number Five!
SUPERMAN PUNCH
SUPERMAN PUNCH
SUPERMAN PUNCH
SUPERMAN PUNCH
SUPERMAN PUNCH#RAW #WrestleMania @WWERomanReigns @BrockLesnar pic.twitter.com/OseZRhFjl3— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
Roman picks up the belt, and holds it up over The Beast. Fans duel while Roman stares up at the sign, but then Lesnar revives to F5 Roman!!
It is NEVER safe to take your eyes off #TheBeast @BrockLesnar…#RAW #WrestleMania pic.twitter.com/irFStKt8F9
— WWE Universe (@WWEUniverse) April 3, 2018
The Beast gets his belt back as he exits the ring. Lesnar survives five Superman Punches tonight while Roman manages to move after one F5. What will it take for one of these men to decisively defeat the other and be Universal Champion?
It all comes down to THIS SUNDAY at the @MBSuperdome for the #UniversalChampionship!@BrockLesnar. @WWERomanReigns. #WrestleMania. #RAW pic.twitter.com/HPkAxT46nz
— WWE (@WWE) April 3, 2018
My Thoughts:
Tonight’s Raw is not how a Wrestlemania Go-Home Raw should go. The first hour was the peak and then it dropped off a cliff somewhere. The opening face-off for the Mixed Tag match was really good, Ronda came off much more comfortable talking trash with Steph. The Authority standing tall just seemed like 50-50 booking to try and keep everyone even until the match. We know Ronda wins, obviously. Bayley VS Sonya was good, and there was good character stuff with Bayley, Sasha and Absolution to center Bayley VS Sasha as the story of the Women’s Battle Royal. Finn VS Rollins 3 was Match of the Night, by a long shot. Miz watching and being an almost Face made it even more fun for the TV audience, this is definitely going to be a showstealer regardless of who wins.
The Tag Team Championship segment was ridiculous, both in a good and in a bad way. Braun’s brother “Brain”, great little pun but it’s just foolish for Strowman to play jokes when he doesn’t have to. Him throwing Hawkins through a wall was great, though. But then to follow this up with only part of Hardy VS Goldust, Alexa doubling down on being WWE’s Goddess of Mean Girls, and then Cena NOT getting Taker just killed the energy of the night. Cena did great as always, and then set up for American Badass Taker by saying “dead man walking,” as that was one of Taker’s other themes during that phase, but it was just a string of disappointments. Elias also winning a quick filler match didn’t do much for anyone, other than make it seem even more like he’s Strowman’s partner (to my personal dismay).
It felt like things picked up in the third, but that was too late. Nia’s interview and her victim angle can go either way. Yes, she seems emotionally weak by letting things get to her like they did, but at the same time, she’s becoming the Face that represents any and everyone who has ever been bullied just on looks. The Women’s Tag was a good segue, and of course Asuka wins to keep her Streak. Nia gets another triumphant moment running Alexa off, so I’d hope Nia goes over, a “You Deserve It!” chant would really fit her crowning moment. The closing was rather good, too, all things considered. Heyman has another great promo, Roman gets the locker room and some fans on his side, but Lesnar keeps up being the dominant Heel. This ending was far better than the infamous tug-o-war over the belt, so give it that.
My Score: 7.5/10
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Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Match Results & Ratings: 9.19.2024
Victory Road was damn good, but behind us now. So let’s see how the build for Bound for Glory starts!
Well hot damn, Victory Road was a solid night of action, surprises and an overall enjoyable watch. Even with the major let down segments of SDL and the Knockouts Tag, they were placed right in the middle…so there was energy aplenty for the last four matches. We do get to see where they’re going with Bound For Glory in about 6 weeks.
My fantasy booking has The System, ABC and Hardyz heading towards a championship 3 way dance. DeMALISH is done, so at least Masha is back on the singles circuit. Lets hope she makes short work of Lish and/or Tasha.
Time to see where the early steps take us on the way to Bound for Glory.
.@mashaslamovich LIVES A DREAM teaming with @MATTHARDYBRAND and @JEFFHARDYBRAND TONIGHT on iMPACT!
Subscribe to TNA to watch #TNAiMPACT NOW: https://t.co/UOkcaGoNH4 pic.twitter.com/N08dnmuwPv
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) September 20, 2024
Ratings:
- First Cla$$ (KC Navarro & AJ Francis) vs Sinner & Saint ( Judas Icarus & Travis Williams): First Cla$$ win via Down Payment/Frog Splash combo – ** 1/4
- Matt Cardona vs Rhino: Cardona DQ’d – My time wasted
- Knockouts Tag Championship: Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat) (c) vs Kendal Grey & Carlee Bright: Spirefire retains via Pressure Drop – * 1/2
- Texas Death Match: JDC vs Mike Santana: Santana wins – ** 3/4
- Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards vs Masha Slamovich & The Hardyz: Hardyz win via Twist & Swanton combo – *** 1/4
Results:
Lish talks smack, Masha comes out, Lish says she doesn’t even understand her – AND FINALLY – Masha speaks English. So she runs down Lish, says she’s sick of her but Tasha jumps Masha from behind. Lish grabs Kendra, attacks Masha and we see Tasha and Lish beatdown Masha until Jordynne makes the save for Masha. The System comes out to tip the numbers game, but then The Hardyz come out to save Masha and Jordynne.
Santino’s goofy music hits and I guess we’re heading to the 3×3 since Lish is still injured. Masha Slamabitch and the Hard Boyz will fight Tasha and System boys. Arianna’s music hits before Santino can say something to Jordynne, and she declares Jordynne gets an NXT friend next week to fight Rosemary and Wendy Choo. I just like Santino and Arianna playing together. It’s wholesomely moronic.
First Cla$$ (KC Navarro & AJ Francis) vs Sinner & Saint ( Judas Icarus & Travis Williams)
KC and Travis start off, KC hits some athletic counters, taunts a little and extends the hand but Travis turns it into an Arm Whip, tags in Icarus, they Double Team, AJ blind tags as KC rope runs, Spiderman pose in the ropes, AJ levels Icarus, KC takes out Travis, hits the tandem move The Deposit, into Tennessee Whiskey. KC tags back in, Snapmare into Footstomp and a near fall before AJ tags back in. They go for a tandem move on Icarus in the corner, but Icarus dumps KC to the outside, turns a Suplex into a DDT, and then crawls to Travis for simultaneous tags as Travis is working KC over. KC powders, tries to change sides but Sinner and Saint tandem redirect the dive. Inverted Suplex for a near fall.
AJ comes in, Lawn Darts Icarus into Travis, Down Payment, Frog Splash from KC…and First Cla$$ win!
Matt Cardona vs Rhino
Obviously just a step towards the eventual PCO versus Cardona, prolly at Bound for Glory. So this match is useless and Cardona has no reason to lose.
Cardona tries to pick his spot, but just gets his Foot picked out of mid air, and Rhino throws Cardona around the ring, Lariat, sets up for a Gore…but Cardona powders. Rhino follows and Suplexes Cardona onto the ramp, throws him back in and a Throat Chop from Cardona finally gives him some space. Missile Dropkick for an unnecessary pinfall, and then just grinding the Forearm into Rhino’s face in the corner. 10 Count Punches turned into a Powerbomb from Rhino for 2.
Rhino goes to get a chair, the ref admonishes him, Rhino throws the chair in, Cardona uses it in front of the referee and gets DQ’d. Radio Silence on Rhino after the DQ, Cardona looks to continue the punishment but lights go out and PCO attacks. Chokeslam, goes for the PCO-Sault, but Cardona powders and runs away. PCO goes full Ric Flair, attacks the chair and then PCO-Saults a steel chair.
Well…that’s new.
Knockouts Tag Championship: Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat) (c) vs Kendal Grey & Carlee Bright
You know how I’ve said these titles are useless right? Now they’re being defended against…no one. Bright Grey? That’s not even a Crayola Crayon color. I think I would enjoy constipation more than this match.
Jody and…Grey?… start and its just slow, headlocky, I guess trying to get across Grey’s amateur background, but it looks terribly…meh. Dani tags in and now my attention is peaked. Powerbomb attempt but Grey tries to slip it into a Cradle, Dani kicks out, catches Grey and Sack of Shit into Kip Up. Tandem Stalling Suplex after the tag, but only 2. Dani gets tagged in, they don’t seem to be taking Grey super seriously, so Grey finally kicks off and gets the tag to Bright. Okay, Cartwheel Knees is unique offense, not the Cheerleader Back Handspirng, I can respect that. Oh nice Standing Moonsault from Bright. Grey tags in, Jody takes a few seconds too long for the “blind tag”, Senton off the ropes to kill the two NXT girls, Pressure Drop, title retained.
Burn these belts and push Dani as a singles.
Texas Death Match: JDC vs Mike Santana
Jade looks like she’s cosplaying Peg Bundy during the intros but…ya know…not complaining. And it sounds like they’re doing the rules correctly with pinfall and then 10 count. So, that’s nice the rules seem to be clear.
JDC tries to attack Santana as he comes in from the crowd, Santana turns it around as expected and starts running JDC from corner to corner, Enzuigiri and multiple Bootwash corner spots. Santana looks for a Cannonball, but JDC powders, so Santana stalks a little, Tope con Hilo connects! Santana finds some chairs as the morons start chanting for tables when it’s 4 minutes in. That chant just screams inbred and stupid anymore.
Santana puts the two chairs back to back and looks to hit the old Eddie Kingston spot on JDC, but JDC fights it off, 10 count punches that JDC counters with the Powerbomb through the back to back chairs. Trash can and kendo stick time for Dango. Dude, Stomp is soo 1999 but its apparently cool in Texas. DOWN AND DIRTY on the trash can from JDC! But he can’t cover since now he’s selling his own pain for dropping on a can. Santana smartly powders and JDC tries to remember how to walk. Santana crawls up to his feet bleeding, but he also found a Barbedwire Bat! Dango tries to grab him, BAT TO FACE! Of course they head to a commercial right as the match gets bloody…sigh.
So we’re back and they’re fighting in the crowd, or no, some staging area about the crowd. Dango is bleeding, Santana is bleeding, Santana counters Dango and hits a Piledriver on the stage for 2! Brawling up some steps, JDC kicks off Santana and connects with a Tornado DDT for 2! Santana rolls over and flops off the stage as he crawls to…somewhere. JDC with the low speed pursuit, he finally charges and gets tossed into some broken barricade makeshift something! Santana slams a production case into Dango a few times, as Dango tries to crawl up a table to get away. Santana walks back up to the stage, and stops himself mid-charge. FINDS A LADDER. Santana gets the ref and someone else to hold it, goes to the top of the ladder…and Splash through JDC on the table.
Takes entirely too long, so while it looks cool its pretty stupid. 1-2-3, the pinfall happens, but lets see if the 10 count holds. 10 count goes through, Santana wins.
Moose attacks afterwards and just beats the tar out of him with a chair.
Lei Ying Lee debuts NEXT WEEK on #TNAiMPACT!
Subscribe to TNA to watch iMPACT NOW: https://t.co/UOkcaGoNH4 pic.twitter.com/kHtnOSs0Gj
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) September 20, 2024
Hendry comes out, Kaz interrupts, Nic Nemeth basically agrees to fight everyone. So Santino makes it shot and succulent, and decides for Hendry and Kaz to have a number 1 contender match next week. Nothing of crazy merit was said during the promo, so I decided to take Santino’s directions and go for short and succulent.
Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & Tasha Steelz w/Alisha Edwards vs Masha Slamovich & The Hardyz
Well right after intros they cut to a commercial, so maybe we won’t get anymore. Tasha and Masha start off, and throw fists fast, things stay close and they trade. Masha gets the advantage after a Drop Toe Hold into the middle rope, kick to the face, running knees and Tasha tags out to Eddie. Masha doesn’t care she wants to fight Eddie but Eddie cheap shots Matt on the apron and Matt tells Masha to tag him in. So Eddie doesn’t look like a completely shitty heel, and the crowd pops for a Hardy.
Matt chokes Eddie along the ropes, Leg Drape attack and tags in my name is Jeff. A little classic Hardy tandem work, Myers just runs in, stack the dorks, Splash version of Poetry in Motion. System gets Lariated out, Tasha tries to attack Matt but Masha eats Tasha. Whips her 3 times into corners and Poetry in Moscow. All of the System is on the outside, so Masha goes to the top, Senton off the top rope and Bowling Balls The System. Ugh…picture in picture is awful…stop with commercials at bad times. I really miss the commercial free YouTube version.
So to no one’s surprise, of course The System take control during the distraction break, Masha is being isolated, Eddie tags in and he’s taking his sweet time for a chop. So again, Eddie doesn’t make contact. Masha drops Tasha, ducks the men, hot tag to Jeff! Jeff lights up Eddie, looks for Whisper in the Wind but Myers pulls Eddie out of the way and Jeff hits nothing. And unlike Jinder, Eddie didn’t bump to a breeze. Eddie tags out to Myers, Russian Leg Sweep and Front Face Lock is keeping Jeff down. Jeff fights back up, but Myers clocks him. Myers tags in Tasha, and Tasha goes with the Knife Edge Chops on Jeff, mocks the Jeff dance, then twerks in his face before tagging Eddie back in.
Myers attacks Matt off the apron and even Masha, but Jeff starts to fight back, goes for the Whisper again, and this time connects on both! Jeff tags in Matt, so he starts working through the System boys. Neckbreaker into the Delete Headsmashes for both members of the System. Side Effect on Myers for only two. Matt calls for the Twist, the crowd responds well, but the Twist is countered, Lish grabs Matt’s foot but the referee sees it. EJECTION! Poor Tami-Lynn, she doesn’t wanna go, Hardys and Masha laugh and sing the Hey Hey Hey song, Lish says no so the ABC walk down and pick her up and carry her out. Twist of Fates for everyone, Swanton Bomb from Jeff, Hardyz and Masha win!
Overall Score: 6/10
Serviceable in regards to setting up most of the threads for Bound for Glory. The actual wrestling could’ve been a lot better, but for a starting point, it could’ve been worse. Xia Li getting her new name revealed, which I like. Some kind of Thunder reference, mixed in with the fact her vignettes give Mortal Kombat vibes, its very cool. The Knockouts Tags definitely feel like useless metal, Santana and JDC was probably better to experience in person, because the commercial break broke the momentum…and Gods damn was that finish sooo slow. At least the Texas Death Match rules were correct.
Crowd was also hot for the Hardyz, so the combination of “evil Russian” dropping the accent and proving to be a Hardy fangirl and get the Hardyz babyface rub sets up Masha nicely. She should be the next face of the Knockouts Division.
Next week we’ll hopefully get a touch more clarity or reasons for multi-person shmoz matches. But reasons are reasons, and this moved in logical enough directions.
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
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THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
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SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
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Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
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Team Texas meets Dark Order on the Proving Ground!
Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara need challengers for the ROH World Tag Team Championships, so Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds are put to the test! Will they last the necessary ten minutes?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- ROH Women’s World TV Championship Proving Grounds: Red Velvet VS Allysin Kay; Velvet wins and denies Allysin a title opportunity.
- The Gates of Agony VS Dante Leon & Trip Jordy; The Gates of Agony win.
- Preston Vance VS Brandon Cutler; Vance wins.
- John Silver w/ The Dark Order VS KM; Silver wins.
- Rachael Ellering VS Maggie Lee; Rachael wins.
- The Infantry w/ Trish Adora VS Spanish Announce Project; The Infantry wins.
- Anthony Ogogo w/ Shane Taylor VS Kit Sackett; Ogogo wins.
- Brian Cage VS Deonn Rusman; Cage wins.
- ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Ground: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara VS Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds w/ John Silver; Dustin & Sammy win and deny The Dark Order a title opportunity.
PLAY BY PLAY
ROH Women’s World TV Championship Proving Grounds: Red Velvet VS Allysin Kay!
The Chef is cooking, and she even whipped up a new look for the belt! Will Velvet have the whole women’s division seeing red? Or will AK say pinkies out as she eats up this dish?
The Code of Honor is upheld with a pinkie swear, and the two circle. They tie up and Allysin shoves Velvet down. Velvet gets up, dodges Allysin, and wags a finger. Allysin runs up again, Velvet slides under, then she ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl RANA! The fans fire up and Velvet fires off body shots in the corner! Velvet lets off, but then comes back to stomp high and low. Velvet lets off to dig her boot in! The fans cheer as Velvet does the splits and stirs it up. Velvet lets off as the ref counts, then she comes back to fire forearms. Velvet runs, wheelbarrows, but Allysin says no to the bulldog, WHEELBARROW GERMAN! Cover, TWO!
Allysin drags Velvet up to TOSS her to a corner, then CHOPS her! The fans fire up, Allysin CHOPS again. Allysin bumps Velvet off buckles, Velvet hits back, but Allysin fires her own body shots. Then a fireman’s carry to a SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO! Allysin drags Velvet up, Velvet fires body shots of her own again! Velvet runs, but Allysin catches the crossbody! FALL AWAY SLAM! Cover, TWO! Velvet toughs it out but Allysin drags her back up. Velvet fires more body shots, Allysin shoves her away, but Velvet runs up. Allysin sidesteps and runs, Velvet CALF KICKS, but Allysin deflects it! Then she gets an ANKLE LOCK!
Velvet endures as Allysin twists the foot. The fans rally, Velvet reaches out, ROPEBREAK! Allysin lets go at 4, then storms back up. Allysin snapmares Velvet, and clamps on with a straitjacket stretch! Velvet endures, even as Allysin digs a knee into her back. The fans rally up, Velvet fights up, and Velvet arm-drags free! Velvet runs up, to tilt-o-whirl and IRON OCTOPUS! Allysin endures, the fans rally, and Allysin powers right into a gut wrench! But Velvet clicks her heels, slips free, and hits a STUNNER! Velvet runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Velvet survives and Allysin grows frustrated.
Allysin drags Velvet up and in, Canadian Rack into the Gory Especial, but Velvet sunset flips it! TWO, and both women stand! Velvet LARIATS, but Allysin stays up! Velvet runs again, and she LARIATS again, but Allysin wags her finger. Velvet tries again, ducks Allysin’s lariat and LEAPING LARIATS! Then she CALF KICKS! Allysin falls, Velvet roars and the fans fire up! Velvet runs, wheelbarrows, and STUNNERS! Allysin falls back, Velvet goes after her at the ropes. The fans rally, Velvet pumps up and runs, to DOUBLE KNEE! Velvet YANKS Allysin off ropes, rolls with her, and dragon sleepers! JUST DESSERTS! Cover, Velvet wins!
Winner: Red Velvet, by pinfall (denies Allysin Kay a title match)
A solid win from The Chef, and she tells Diamante that she has the blood of a fighter! Eat, sleep, breathe, wrestling! Will everyone be served up some hot, fresh L’s in Red Velvet’s kitchen?
The Dark Order speak.
Dustin Rhodes wants more championships, and it makes Evil Uno sick! Alex Reynolds says that greed will lead to Dustin’s downfall. The funny thing about this Proving Ground is that The Dark Order has nothing to prove. Dustin & Sammy have to show they can beat The Dark Order in 10 minutes. All Dark Order has to do is beat the clock, and then unlike Dustin & Sammy, the Dark Order will earn a title opportunity. Dark Order is ROH, and they vow to get both revenge, and those ROH World Tag Team Championships. Will Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds show the world #DarkOrderisGood enough?
The Outrunners speak.
Truth Magnum tells The Iron Savages, “You wanna attack The Outrunners from behind?” Turbo Floyd & Erica Leigh shake their heads. But they don’t call him The Truth for nothing! And the truth is, if you’ve got beef, here are two Grade A master chefs, and they’re running hot! Keep your “savage sauce,” because you’re looking two young men absolutely jacked to the gills on “best-tosterone!” Turbo says the Savages have a few things he can respect: their muscles; their tans; their glitz; but they ain’t got no glamour! That’s what The Outrunners have! And in ROH, if you want it, let him tell you: Any time, any place!
Because if you haven’t seen The Outrunners, you haven’t seen nothing yet! Erica barks, but will Truth & Turbo find they’re barking up the wrong tree?
The Premier Athletes speak.
Mark Sterling says, “Whoa, whoa, hold on. Do you recognize this man? Of course you do. Because over a million of you saw him do the most impressive wrestling move you’ve ever seen in your life. But did you just see the move and scroll past it? Or did you actually think about who was the man that did the move? I’ll tell you who that man is. This is Josh Woods, National Champion, 108 collegiate wins, four-time All American! And there’s more where that came from.” Woods says he can do that to anybody. Anytime, anywhere. Then when and where will we see the Technical Beast do that for some gold?
The Infantry w/ Trish Adora VS Spanish Announce Project!
While Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo have made amends with The Outrunners, they’re still aiming at the ROH World Tag Team Championships. But that just means they’re one of many, because the reinvigorated Angelico Y Serpentico want their shot! Who rises up the ranks with a win while the other falls in Sioux Falls?
The teams sort out and #BadNews&Tattoos starts against the South African Stud. They shake hands for the Code of Honor, and Bravo gets an “OORAH!” going. Bravo and Angelico circle, the fans rally, and the two tie up. Angelico wrenches, wristlocks, but Bravo reaches down, slips around, and he wristlocks back. Bravo says they’re really wrestling and the fans have a laugh. Bravo keeps on the wrist, but spins, opens the hold, then steps over for a modified cording hold! Then Angelico wrenches the other wrist, but Bravo rolls, handsprings, pops ‘n’ locks and he gets Angelico with that vibe! Then Bravo reels Angelico in for a headlock!
The fans cheer, but Angelico powers up and out. Angelico drops, then hip tosses, but Bravo spins through it to arm-drag! The fans cheer again, Bravo eggs Angelico on, ducks the haymaker, but Angelico ducks the backhand. Bravo ducks the roundhouse, jumps the sweep, and dropkicks cancel out! Angelico spins to his feet while Bravo kips up, and both men Bernie Lean and walk it out! The fans cheer, and the two tag to The Captain and #SNAKEMAN. The fans “OORAH!” with Bravo again, and Dean shakes hands with Serpentico. They tie up, Dean headlocks, but Serpentico powers out. Dean runs Serpentico over!
The fans rally as Bran says Dean is so strong. Things speed up, Dean hurdles but Serpentico ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! The fans fire up but Dean is on his feet. Dean runs up, but into BOOTS! Dean tries again but Serpentico RANAS! But then Dean arm-drags! And arm-drags again! And DROPKICK! The fans fire up and Dean brings Serpentico up. Dean wrenches Serpentico, tags Bravo, and The Infantry double whip. DOUBLE HIP TOSS! A rough landing for Serpentico, but Infantry DOUBLE FIST DROP! Angelico storms in, Dean blocks a kick, hands it to Bravo, then ENZIGIRIS Bravo slips around to hit a NECKBREAKER!
The fans fire up while Angelico bails out. Serpentico slowly rises, Bravo brings him up, but Serpentico headlocks. Bravo powers out but Angelico tags in. Serpentico ducks Bravo and Angelico scoops to BACKBREAKER! Angelico stands Bravo up, Serpentico runs in, NECKBREAKER DROP BACKBREAKER COMBO! Cover, TWO! Bravo stays in this but Angelico stays on him with a cording hold. Bravo endures, the fans rally up, and Bravo fights up, only for Angelico to knee low! Tag to Serpentico, SAP double whip, then they both drop. Bravo is very surprised by that but clears them both. Angelico hip tosses Bravo, then SAP ZENMAI! Cover, TWO!
The fans rally as Bravo stays in this. Serpentico drags Bravo up, tags Angelico back in, and SAP mugs Bravo. Angelico stomps Bravo while Adora rallies the fans with “Let’s Go, Bravo, Let’s Go!” Bravo CHOPS Angelico, Angelico KNEES low! Angelico JABS Bravo, wrenches and lifts, BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Angelico keeps Bravo down by bending his arm against a knee. Bravo endures, the fans rally, but Angelico top wristlocks. Bravo fights up, fires body shots, but Angelico ROCKS him! Angelico stalks Bravo to ropes, brings him up, and then wrenches. Angelico back suplexes, but Bravo lands out! Bravo reaches out, but Angelico keeps him back!
The fans rally, and Bravo BACKHANDS Angelico away! Hot tags to Dean and Serpentico! The fans fire up as Dean rallies on SAP with LARIAT after LARIAT! Then he floats on Angelico to DDT! Kip up, and he gets Serpentico, spin and “SONIC BOOM~” LARIAT! The fans fire up while Serpentico goes to a corner, and Dean says, “OORAH!” The fans echo “OORAH!” and Dean ELBOWS Serpentico! Bravo tags in then follows Dean as he takes Serpentico side to side. Buckle bump and a BOOT, then Dean goes back to a corner. Bravo bumps Serpentico off buckles again, and Dean runs in to LEAPING LARIAT!
The fans fire up while Dean lands safe on the apron, and Bravo scoops Serpentico to MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Serpentico survives and Bravo is stunned! Dean calls for Boot Camp and he tags in. Dean hooks Serpentico up, Bravo runs, but Angelico trips him! Angelico drags Bravo out to UPPERCUT, and Serpentico snapmares Dean. Serpentico mule kicks, ROCKS and SUPERKICKS! Angelico steps in to clinch and FLATLINER! Serpentico goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, TWO!! Dean survives and SAP is shocked! The fans rally up but SAP drags Dean up. SAP coordinate, Angelico runs, but Bravo trips Angelico up!
Bravo drags Angelico out now, and ROLLING ELBOW! Serpentico ROCKS Dean, runs, but Bravo returns! Infantry dodges Serpentico to fire off the Captain & Bucky combo! Then DOUBLE ROLLING ELBOWS! The fans fire up with The Infantry, and they hook Serpentico up again. Time for BOOT CAMP!! Cover, Infantry wins!
Winners: The Infantry, by pinfall
SAP put up a fight, but The Infantry are marching up towards the top of the rankings! Bravo says never fear, the Infantry is here! But will they be armed and ready for a title shot in the near future? And perhaps best of all, The Infantry offer the Code of Honor, and SAP takes it!
Shane Taylor Promotions speaks.
Anthony Ogogo says it is so good to be Anthony Ogogo! The skull-crackin’, jaw-jackin’ Gov’nah is back in ROH! Shane Taylor himself says it’s great to have him back. Ogogo says he was in Paris for the Olympics, watching the very best athletes win gold. But brother, it got Ogogo thinking. It’s time for him to win gold in ROH! Shane likes that, too. Shane says a wise man once said, “First you get the money, then you get the power.” Around here, winning gold is both! And STP is gonna start taking every championship ROH has to offer. AEW is where the best wrestler, but ROH is where the baddest rumble! Will Ogogo and Big Bad Shaney T. soon join Lee Moriarty as champions of ROH?
ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Ground: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara VS Evil Uno & Alex Reynolds w/ John Silver!
Dustin is a double champion here in ROH, and that’s all the reason The Dark Order needed to despise him! But will they be able to bring down The Natural & The Spanish God? Or will Team Texas be riding high in South Dakota?
The Code of Honor is tentatively upheld, but Reynolds does go and push Sammy. The teams sort out and Sammy starts against Reynolds. The fans rally as the two circle, but then Reynolds bails out. Sammy is annoyed, the fans boo, but Reynolds reminds us, the Dark Order doesn’t even need to beat the champs, just last the ten minutes. Silver and Reynolds high-five, the fans rally for Sammy, and he waits on Reynolds. Reynolds takes his time returning, and then Reynolds tags Uno. And Uno tells Sammy, “I want this guy!” He points at Dustin, Sammy points at Dustin, and the fans fire up as Sammy tags Dustin!
Dustin and Uno circle, they approach, but then Uno bails out to troll Dustin. Uno does a sarcastic victory lap, but Dustin cuts him off. Uno says whoa, hold on, only to turn around and see Sammy! The fans cheer but Uno runs away into the ring! Team Texas grabs at him, knocks him down, and then Uno gets up into an UPPERCUT! Sammy hooks Uno up, Dustin joins in, DOUBLE RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Sammy kips up, Reynolds runs in, but into a DROPKICK! Sammy kips real smooth, and then he tells Dustin to dive! The fans fire up, Dustin fires up, and while Dark Order regroups, Team Texas builds speed!
But then Dark Order scurries away, Sammy & Dustin put on the brakes, and the fans boo. Sammy spins and poses, so Dustin busts out the spinarooni! Dustin poses, too, and the fans fire up! The Dark Order gets mad, but turnabout is fair play. The Dark Order decides to just bail, but Dustin chases them down! Dustin SMACKS Uno, ROCKS Reynolds, then gets Silver to back off. Dustin UPPERCUTS Uno, SMACKS him off the apron, then stalks him around the way. Dustin puts Uno in the ring, but Reynolds storms up. Dustin counter punches! Uno distracts the ref, allowing Silver to POST Dustin! The fans boo and Silver protests, but Reynolds throws hands on Dustin.
Reynolds puts Dustin in, Uno bumps him off buckles, and he stomps a mudhole. Tag to Reynolds, the Dark Order mugs Dustin, and Reynolds snapmares Dustin. Reynolds steps on Dustin, then uses the ropes to IMPLODER ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO! Reynolds keeps Dustin from Sammy, bumps him off buckles, and tags Uno. The fans rally, Uno CHOPS Dustin, then he soaks up the heat. Uno goes back to Dustin, but Dustin UPPERCUTS! Reynolds grabs Dustin but Dustin ROCKS him! Dustin fires more shots on Uno, but Reynolds barks at Dustin. So Dustin DECKS Reynolds! But he turns around into a kick from Uno!
Uno runs, but he runs into the SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up while both men are down! Uno crawls to his corner, but there’s no Reynolds! Dustin crawls, but Silver distracts the ref from the hot tag! The ref stops Sammy, not knowing what happened, and then Uno BOOTS Sammy! Uno SPLASHES Dustin, bumps him off buckles, and Reynolds goes up. Uno sets Dustin up for a FLYING DOUBLE STOMP! Reynolds then DIVES onto Sammy! Uno hits a PILEDRIVER on Dustin! Cover, TWO!! Dustin survives and Uno is shocked! Another cover, TWO! Uno grows frustrated but we’re five minutes in, time is still on their side.
Uno calls to Reynolds, brings Dustin over, and tags Reynolds in. The Dark Order mugs Dustin, but Dustin fights back with big hands! But then Dark Order pushes Dustin back! Dustin dodges Uno, dodges Reynolds, and the ref sees this hot tag! Sammy goes up to DOUBLE CROSSBODY The Dark Order down! The fans fire up, Sammy CLOBBERS Uno, then keeps moving to duck ‘n’ dodge Reynolds so he can CLOBBER him, too! The fans fire up as Sammy kips up, and Sammy RAMS in to Reynolds! Sammy goes to the apron to ENZIGIRI Reynolds, and he SUPERKICKS Uno! Reynolds then springboards in, but Reynolds gets under!
Reynolds runs up, into a CUTTER! Dustin runs in to add a SHINING WIZARD! Cover, Uno breaks it! Dustin storms up, Uno shouts “STOP~!” Then he ROCKS Dustin with a right hand! But Sammy JUMP KNEES Uno! Uno tumbles out, Sammy goes for Reynolds, but Silver drags him out! The fans boo as Dark Order regroups again. Sammy says that’s fine, and he builds speed, to FLY! Down goes The Dark Order! Sammy puts Reynolds in for Dustin to hop on, DESTROYER! Dustin brings Reynolds up, Sammy climbs, and we get a FINAL RECKONING, into the SWANTON BOMB! Cover, Team Texas wins!
Winners: Dustin Rhodes & Sammy Guevara, by pinfall (denies The Dark Order a title match)
Uno & Reynolds played not to win but to not lose, and that only backfired every step of the way! But wait! THE CAGE OF AGONY ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Brian Cage fireman’s carries Sammy, for an F5!! The Gates mug Dustin, The Dark Order cheers while the fans boo! Kaun & Liona hold up the tag titles, then they stand Dustin up, for the DOUBLE LARIAT SANDWICH!! Dustin falls over, is this just a foreshadowing of what is to come? Or can Dustin & Sammy survive the gauntlet of challengers?
My Thoughts:
A very good episode of ROH, with it coming in at an hour and 10 minutes. It still had a lot of matches that were easily filler, but I again commend them on giving everyone good showings. A little surprised, and maybe a little disappointed, that Harley Cameron did not appear to go after Rachael Ellering. They could get that story going if they really wanted but they sure drag things out. But I do like that a big development was Red Velvet changing the belt, the red strap looks so good with the dark silver ROH uses for their belts. We just need them to hurry up and give us Velvet VS Diamante, not sure what they’re waiting on.
Sterling’s promo with Josh Woods was itself basically filler, because we already went through the phase of “Let’s hype The Premier Athletes up.” Just get Woods going in the Pure Division so he can eventually face Lee Moriarty, and maybe even give us some STP beating up on Tony Nese & Ariya Daivari. Speaking of which, after Ogogo of course “knocked out” his opponent tonight, good promo from him and Shane. STP is a team I’d definitely like seeing pull of the “dripping with gold” trope. Moriarty has the Pure Championship, the whole crew can be Six Man Champs, and I suppose Ogogo can “knock out” Atlantis Jr. to get the TV title while Shane finally beats Mark Briscoe to get the world title.
And a lot of good stuff is cooking in the Six Man as well as traditional Tag Divisions. We got a very good match from Infantry and SAP, and a very good promo from Outrunners calling out The Iron Savages. And while we got a really good tag match out of Dark Order and Team Texas, I figured Team Texas would win out. Clearly, Cage of Agony wants next, but I would think Kaun & Liona have a better chance getting the World Tag titles than the whole faction does the Six Man titles. Cage of Agony, while they were Mogul Embassy, already had a dominant run with the Six Man belts, let another faction have their time.
My Score: 8.6/10
About Chairshot Radio Network
Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!
MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - Musical Chairs (music) / Hockey Talk (NHL)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Keeping the news ridiculous... The Oddity / Chairshot NFL (NFL)
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - The Front and Center Sports Podcast
CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS
Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)
TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends
Patrick O'Dowd's 5X5
Classic POD is WAR
Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!
Powered by RedCircle
Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
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