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Mitchell’s Lucha Underground Report! (6/20/18)

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Lucha Underground Season 4

Lucha Underground, Season 4, Episode 2: “Darkness and the Monster”

Pentagon Dark made it through Aztec Warfare and is STILL Lucha Underground Champion. However, Antonio Cueto won’t let him have any time off, as he must again defend his title against Antonio’s “only son”, The Monster, Matanza! Can Pentagon survive the Wrath of the Gods to remain champion with #CeroMiedo?

 

Gifs to come courtesy of http://frentique.tumblr.com/

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Lucha Underground Trios Championships: Son of Havoc, Killshot & The Mack VS Texano, Dr. Wagner Jr. & Famous B  Infamous Incorporated w/ Famous B & the Beautiful Brenda; Havoc, Killshot & The Mack win and retain the Lucha Underground Trios Championships.
  • Gift of the Gods Medallion Match: Drago w/ Kobra Moon VS Dragon Azteca Jr; Azteca wins and earns one of the seven Aztec Medallions.
  • Lucha Underground Championship: Pentagon Dark VS Matanza Cueto; Pentagon wins and retains the Lucha Underground Championship.

PLAY BY PLAY

Catrina appears in King Cuerno’s trophy.

And she appears magically, as per her powers of darkness. Fortunately the King of Hunters is out, but unfortunately, so is the Gauntlet of the Gods. Cuerno enters, and tells Catrina, “Even I know that some trophies are too dangerous to display.” Then where is it? Cuerno knows the Gauntlet is “the hand that could strike down the descendants of the Seven Aztec Tribes.” And he can’t let that happen. But without it, she will never be human again, and she won’t let that happen. Well sorry, but he gave it to someone else for “safe keeping.” So who knows where, or when, he hid it. And Cuerno doesn’t give a sh*t whether Catrina is ever human again. Catrina disappears in a huff, back on the hunt for her humanity.

 

Lucha Underground Trios Championships: Son of Havoc, Killshot & The Mack VS Texano, Dr. Wagner Jr. & Famous B w/ the Beautiful Brenda!

Dysfunction has returned to these titles as one of the inaugural champions is forced to team with two of the current champions. For whatever reason, Dante Fox is MIA, so Antonio Cueto let fate decide who replaced him, and that brings us to this new mishmash team. However, they already have to face challengers in #InfamousIncorporated.

Speaking of, the chairman of 423-Get-Fame explains to Melissa Santos that she doesn’t have all the facts. Famous B and Brenda hit the ring, and B vows to capture the gold! But Dr. Wagner & Texano are too busy making money in Mexico, so instead, it’s a fresh coat of paint w/ three new clients! First, the nasty mechanic, Big Bad Steve! Second, one of the hottest young stars on the globe, Sammy Guevara! And last but certainly not least, the hottest free agent in the business, the “savage” Jake Strong! The Believers lose their minds over these signings, especially that third star full of swagger.

Lucha Underground Trios Championships: Son of Havoc, Killshot & The Mack VS Infamous Incorporated w/ Famous B & The Beautiful Brenda!

With this revised match-up, do the champions stand a chance of retaining? The bell rings, and Killshot starts against Guevara. Killshot gets the takedown, but Guevara dodges the double stomps. Killshot cartwheels, things speed up, and while Killshot handsprings back, Guevara flips over! Guevara embraces the spotlight a little too long, but he still tilt-o-whirl headscissors Killshot. Killshot handsprings through, then headscissors Guevara back. Guevara also gets up quick, with a big smile on his face. Fans are loving it, too, as Guevara offers a handshake. Fans chant for “Killshot! Killshot!” so Guevara flips him the bird. Killshot gives Guevara the spinning back elbow! Killshot puts Guevara in the corner, then tags to Son of Havoc.

Havoc drags Guevara up while fans chant for him. Havoc chops Guevara sharply, then gives forearms. He whips but Guevara reverses, and things speed up. Guevara dropkicks Havoc down, then embraces the spotlight again. He drags Havoc over, and Big Bad Steve tags in. BBS throws hands on SoH, then big forearms. Havoc back kicks, then runs, but BBS blocks and counters to clothesline Havoc down. Killshot comes in to mule kick BBS, then whips. BBS reverses but Killshot goes up and over. Killshot 619s in the corner, then steps in for the complete shot! Jake Strong comes in and throws Killshot to ropes to then boot him. Killshot is dazed, but he still dumps Jake out of the ring. Killshot gets to the apron, aims at Jake, and gives him a sharp boot!

Guevara returns, to SUPERKICK Killshot down! Then Guevara wrecks with a dropkick, only for Havoc to DIVE on him! Brenda and Famous B are not happy with how their team is working together. Jake gets up with Guevara and they drag Havoc up together. They both go into the ring, and BBS grabs Havoc for a suplex. BBS holds him up there, then drops him. Jake backs up, then runs corner to corner for the All American American Vader Bomb! Guevara is up, and adds the swanton bomb! Cover, but Killshot and The Mack break that. Guevara backs off, and Havoc crawls over. Killshot tags in, and fans already know “This is Awesome!”

Killshot runs in but Guevara puts him on the top rope. Guevara swing kicks then climbs up, to SUPER- No, Killshot denies! Killshot brings Guevara back up, fireman’s carry, and with The Mack running an intercept course, SUPER POUNCE!

But Jake comes in, and kicks Mack down. Jake throws Mack out hard, then grabs Killshot. Jake puts Killshot in a corner, but Killshot puts up the knee. This gets Jake to stop in his tracks, and Killshot kicks out the legs. Killshot buzzaw kicks Jake right in the head, then climbs up top. Famous B distracts on the apron, and this gives Jake time to get under Killshot’s jump. Killshot turns back around, and runs into a pop up into ankle lock!

Killshot endures while fans are thunderous! He taps, but the referee is still busy with someone else! Mack comes in, and SMACKS Jake with a haymaker. But Jake holds onto the hold! That’s how strong Jake is. Mack hits him again, then runs to bicycle boot him! Finally Jake lets go, but he tags to BBS. Mack dodges BBS, STUNNER! Havoc tags in from Killshot, climbs up top, and hits a SHOOTING STAR! Cover, Havoc and team win!

Winners: Killshot, The Mack & Son of Havoc, Havoc pinning; still Lucha Underground Trios Champions

Famous B messed up his own team, and now they pay the price! The mishmash team retains, and have grown closer thanks to winning together. Meanwhile, Jake Strong is pissed at Famous B, but he takes it out on Guevara and Big Bad Steve! He body slams Guevara and boots BBS, but he’s not done there. He build speed to FLIP Guevara with a lethal lariat. Famous B pleads with Jake, but no go, as Jake trophy lifts Guevara to toss onto Big Bad Steve! And that just leaves Famous B himself, for a big biel! Then, the ankle lock! Famous B has had broken arms before, but never a broken ankle! Jake wipes the sweat from his brow and fans join in on “Strong! Strong!” Will Jake Strong take the Temple by storm?

 

Melissa Santos introduces Antonio Cueto.

The ice cold father of the late Dario Cueto comes out, and says that many called Dario “a genius”. But guess what? The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In fact, another concept of Dario’s was a spark of brilliance. Antonio is of course speaking of the Gift of the Gods Championship. “When the seven ancient Aztec medallions are together, they form the Gift of the Gods”, and Antonio proudly announces that the process starts again, tonight! This next match is for the first of seven, so let’s not keep the bloodthirsty Believers waiting! “Let’s put some red blood in this blue ice house!”

Gift of the Gods Medallion Match: Drago w/ Kobra Moon VS Dragon Azteca Jr!

Now that there’s a prize on the line, this battle of dragons truly heats up. The Queen of the Reptile Tribe leads her dark knight to the ring, will he bring glory to their clan at the expense of the young luchador’s body?

Lucha Underground returns, and this match begins. Fans already rally as the two circle. Drago wants a handshake? Azteca accepts, but of course it was a trap. Drago whips but Azteca reverses, and things speed up. Drago front flips but Azteca arm wrenches, to then wheelbarrow and sunset flip! ONE, and Drago sweeps the legs to cover. ONE, and Azteca returns the favor, ONE, double dropkicks twice in a row, we have a stand off and fans are loving it. Azteca baits Drago into a test of strength to back kick him. Azteca puts on a headlock, but Drago powers out. Drago and Azteca bump shoulders, Drago rebounds to shoulder again but Azteca does the same and gets the knock down!

Azteca runs but Kobra swipes at him! He’s ready to bop her one, but he’s too nice a guy. Azteca does sense Drago lurking, though, and gets out of the way. Drago stops himself from running into his queen, but Azteca waistlocks. Dragon standing switches, but Azteca throws elbows. Azteca slips out of the suplex to shove and then follow, Azteca rolls to a cover, TWO! Things speed up again as Drago springboards into a cover. ONE and Azteca narrowly avoids a Penalty Kick, but not that sharp mule kick! Drago keeps on Azteca, then whips, but Azteca reverses. Things speed up as Azteca dodges Drago each time, then he slides out, but Drago FLIES! One dragon wipes out the other and fans are fired up!

Drago puts Azteca back in, then stalks him to a corner. Drago hits Azteca with a body shot, then hoists him up backwards on the top rope. He goes after the mask! How disrespectful! Fans boo and jeer, but Dragon won’t stop! He almost unmasks Azteca completely as he puts him in the Tree of Woe! Drago mule kicks the defenseless Azteca! Azteca gets his mask on, but fans cuss Drago out. Drago runs in, but misses in the corner. Azteca fires off forearms, then whips but Drago reverses. Azteca stops himself, to then kick from the ground! Drago runs back in, but is thrown overhead into buckles! Cover, TWO! Azteca is a bit shocked, but he keeps on Drago.

Azteca whips but Drago holds ropes. Drago runs and slides off Azteca’s back, then brings Azteca around for a hammerlock and lift, into a facebuster slam! Dragon finishes by rolling Azteca up into a cradle, TWO!? Kobra Moon is frustrated, but Drago makes it up to her with that overhand chop on Azteca. Dragon whips Azteca corner to corner, then runs in, but Azteca slips out to the apron. Drago hits buckles and falls back, Azteca climbs up, but has to drop down. Azteca swing kicks Drago, then climbs up. He jumps over, and runs into a boot from Drago! Drago runs, blockbuster DDT! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally as Azteca gets to a corner. Drago runs in again, but Azteca dodges. Azteca runs into a SUPERKICK! Drago climbs up, Azteca swing kicks Drago again! Azteca climbs up, SUPER victory roll pin! Azteca wins!!

Winner: Dragon Azteca Jr, by pinfall; earns the first Aztec Medallion

Azteca celebrates winning in honor of his Aztec heritage of the Eagle Tribe. Who will join him in collecting the Medallions and forming the Gift of the Gods Championship?

Meanwhile, Kobra Moon is disappointed in her knight. To make matters worse, out comes Johnny Mundo. He asks the Queen of Reptiles what’ll happen when “one of your snakes gets taken to Slam Town?” But Mundo’s trash talk is just a distraction for Taya to sneak up behind and strike! The Valkyrie SPEARS and throws hands on Kobra while Mundo comes in to kick Drago in the huevos! Then a shining wizard on Drago for good measure. The Reptiles started this war with Worldwide Underground, will Mundo and company finish it?

 

Antonio Cueto is in his office.

He finishes some paperwork, then picks up the key. But Catrina pops in using her magic. He heard stories about her, but he just thought it was “a load of crap.” Is she a phantom? No, she’s stuck between the worlds of the living and the dead. She hopes not for long, if he gives her what she desires. He’s sure most men do. So what does she desire? Fenix in a coffin. But Mil Muertes can handle him. Catrina wants the match made, Mil Muertes VS Fenix in Grave Consequences, next week. Sounds violent. Yes, it will be. And once Fenix is buried once and for all, that immortal life force will be Catrina’s. “And I will finally be free.”

So she’ll have to knock next time? Yes. Then consider it done. Catrina disappears just as she came. The Man of 1000 Deaths and the Man of 1000 Lives will wage war once again! Will Catrina get her shortcut to restoration? Or will she be disappointed all over again?

 

Lucha Underground Championship: Pentagon Dark VS Matanza Cueto!

A rematch from all the way back in Ultima Lucha Dos, in which The Monster defeated the Breaker of Bones. Things have changed for Pentagon since then, but Matanza is as merciless and mindless as ever. Will Pentagon avenge himself of that loss? Or will he fall to the Wrath of the Gods?

Lucha Underground returns once more, and fans are already thunderous. Pentagon doesn’t waste time, either, as he goes right at Matanza at the stairs! The bell rings just as Pentagon SUPERKICKS Matanza! Matanza stays standing, though, and even busts through Pentagon’s forearm smash. Pentagon hits Matanza again and again, then pushes Matanza into a post. Fans chant “Cero Miedo!” as Pentagon kicks Matanza again. He goes after the big legs of the Monster, then brings him around by his mask to bowl him into chairs! Fans are loving this as Pentagon stalks Matanza. Pentagon whips Matanza into the railings and wall. He kicks Matanza’s leg again, then stands Matanza up against a post. Pentagon asks for silence as he takes off his glove, and opens Matanza’s jumpsuit for the CHOP!

Matanza staggers away but fans love it. “Otra! Otra!” echoes out, but as Pentagon swings, Matanza dodges! Pentagon’s hand smacks post! Matanza boots Pentagon, then drags Pentagon up to press and bounce him off the railings. Matanza forearms Pentagon hard, then follows him as he rolls. He then drags Pentagon up to return the favor of bowling for chairs!

Matanza drags Pentagon up, for a back suplex on the apron. Pentagon writhes but Matanza hits him with another forearm. Matanza puts Pentagon in the ring, then looms over him. He drags Pentagon up, for a torture rack and slam! Cover, TWO, but Matanza still looms over his prey. Matanza pumphandles and Fall Away Slams Pentagon. Cover, TWO! Fans rally for Pentagon but Matanza is still on him. Matanza drags Pentagon up but Pentagon revives. Pentagon speeds things up, then Slingblades! Then another! Cover, TWO! Pentagon is surprised, but he keeps on that leg with another sharp kick! “CERO, MIEDO!” Pentagon can’t get the package driver, though, as Matanza powers out and hits back. Matanza whips, but Pentagon goes up and over for the backstabber! Then the code breaker! Cover, TWO!

Fans chant “Lucha! Lucha!” for their champion as he stands up and stalks Matanza now. Matanza sits up, but Pentagon buzzsaw kicks him. “CERO! MIEDO!” Pentagon runs, but into a swinging side slam! Cover, TWO, and the fans are still thunderous. Matanza is up first, then whips Pentagon corner to corner. Matanza runs in, for a big clothesline. He runs in again, but into a SUPERKICK! Pentagon hops up, leaps, but Matanza denies the Destroyer with power. Pentagon still sunset flips but Matanza rolls through. They both get up, enziguri from Pentagon! Pentagon positions Matanza, then climbs up. But Matanza stops him with a right! Matanza climbs up, fireman’s carry, but Pentagon fights back. Pentagon headbutts Matanza down, then SUPERKICKS him again. He hops back up, DESTROYER PILEDRIVER!

But that’s not all, because Matanza staggers up to his feet. Pentagon runs, ANOTHER Destroyer!

Then, “CERO! MIEDO!” Somehow, Pentagon lifts Matanza for a PACKAGE Piledriver! Cover, Pentagon wins!!

Winner: Pentagon Dark, by pinfall; still Lucha Underground Champion

Two weeks in a row, Pentagon has done the unthinkable! He conquers the Monster to give the Monster his first singles loss EVER! Fans are thunderous for their champion as they chant “Cero! Miedo!” But they also what Pentagon to “Break His Arm!” Pentagon grabs Matanza, Dark Armbar… But Antonio simply shows Matanza the key, and the Monster powers out! Matanza gets away from Pentagon, then cowers before his father!? Antonio smacks Matanza, saying Dario spoiled his little brother. They’re both useless. Matanza sheepishly follows after his father, and Pentagon stands tall. Will his unbelievable title reign continue to make history?

 

Antonio Cueto returns to his office.

He puts the key down, then paces the room. Jeremiah Crane arrives, and none too soon for Antonio’s liking. This won’t take long. Crane wants to bury both Fenix and Mil Muertes, and then he’ll be the one to give Catrina what she wants, so that she’ll finally realize he is the only man she needs. So Crane is willing to put his own life on the line for a woman? Have you seen Catrina? Good point. In that case, it will be the first ever Grave Consequences TRIPLE THREAT, aka Three Way to the Grave. See? That didn’t take long. Antonio doesn’t see Crane’s career lasting much longer, either. The Death Machine, the Man of Death, and the Bird of War, only one will be left alive! Will it be Catrina or Crane who gets what they want?

 


 

My Thoughts:

What a great second episode, as Lucha Underground keeps the momentum rolling and even heightens it. Nice story element of King Cuerno using his Lucha Underground/Impact Wrestling pal in Aerostar to hide that Gauntlet for him. Aerostar being a time-traveler in kayfabe, it is the perfect way to keep that Gauntlet out of the reach of those hungry for power. Of course, Catrina has a Plan B: just kill Fenix. For one, Fenix has been a long-standing rival of Mil Muertes, so this would be one way to end their eternal feud. Second, it gets Catrina what she wants, and that’s to be truly alive again. Crane makes a great move as well, since he has his own story with Muertes & Catrina. That match for just episode three is going to be great.

Havoc joining The Mack and Killshot was a nice twist from last week, and we get some more twists as we meet the newest LU talent. “Jake Strong” (aka Jack Swagger) makes a big impact, even though he lost. I suppose by “Mexico”, Famous B means Texano and Wagner are active in AAA Lucha and therefore too busy to be on Lucha Underground. Strong/Swagger is gonna do great to be sure. And great for Azteca to win a medallion, that’s the first step to being Gift of the Gods Champion. Azteca has already been Trios Champion with Rey Mysterio and Prince Puma, so this could be his way to being a Triple Crown. Then that main event was amazing, as always, and great for Pentagon to retain. I could easily see him retain all the way until Ultima Lucha 4, where he gets screwed out this time.

My Score: 8.6/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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