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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Live Report! (6/5/18)

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6 years ago

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SmackDown GM, champion and challenger!

The Phenomenal One and the King of Strong Style will sign thee contract for their Last Man Standing WWE Championship match at Money in the Bank, with SmackDown GM Paige presiding! Plus, the FABULOUS Carmella promises to reveal all about her opponent, The Empress of Tomorrow, Asuka, before their own title match at Money in the Bank!

 

All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 2v1 Handicap: Asuka VS Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville; Asuka wins.
  • Harper w/ Rowan VS Karl Anderson w/ Luke Gallows; Anderson wins.
  • Mixed Tag: Naomi & Jimmy Uso w/ Jey Uso VS Lana & Aiden English; Naomi & Jimmy win.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Becky Lynch; Becky wins.
  • Six Man Tag: The New Day VS The Miz, Rusev & Samoa Joe; The New Day wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The SmackDown Women’s Champion, Carmella, heads to the ring.

The FABULOUS Princess of Staten Island faces the Empress of Tomorrow at Money in the Bank, but the champion doesn’t seem afraid at all. Carmella welcomes Corpus Christi and demands they give her praise. When they boo, she accepts that. This isn’t about her, this is about Asuka. Carmella wants the world to know the truth about Asuka. Asuka is not who we think she is. Carmella shows us the Asuka we do know, that we love yet fear. A highlight reel rolls, covering her career from NXT where she would be the undefeated Woman’s Champion for almost two years, and then shifting to her Streak continuing on Raw. Carmella gives Asuka credit at being incredible, poised and terrifying.

But “let’s remove the mask” and face the truth: “This is the real Asuka.” The highlight reel continues, and Asuka would lose for the first time in the WWE to Charlotte. But then, it continues to show that The IIconics would beat Asuka in a tag team match, and then Sonya Deville would easily ambush Asuka from behind. Mandy Rose would also dominate in her match with Asuka because of it, but it ignores how Asuka still won that match. Carmella says that was all “painful to watch.” But it’s the truth: Asuka’s first loss devastated her. That’s why Carmella isn’t afraid. #MellaIsMoney! But fans boo as Carmella says Asuka’s time is over. Asuka was undefeated but now she’s just defeated. No One is Ready has become Everyone Is Ready. Even the WWE Universe is ready for Asuka! Raise your hand if you’re ready for Asuka!

Speak of Asuka, and here she comes! Carmella stays cool, even as Asuka enters the ring. Asuka herself is still in a good mood. But then Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville appear?

Carmella didn’t need to go through all that trouble. Mandy Rose knows herself that Asuka is a shadow of her former self. Asuka still won, but Mandy is confident she was close to winning. Mandy knows she can beat Asuka tonight! Sonya says Mandy did what she had to: left Asuka for Sonya. Sonya wants her turn to face Asuka! Carmella agrees with them both, so who will it be? The Undefeated Asuka would fight both, but the Defeated Asuka should just call an Uber and get out. But then SmackDown GM Paige appears!

The Glampire in Chief says no one speaks for her. Paige makes matches, not them. Asuka does have unfinished business with Sonya and Mandy. Who does Asuka choose? Asuka grins at them both before snatching the mic from Carmella. “Give me both!!”

In that case, it will be Asuka VS Sonya & Mandy in a Handicap Match, up next! Can the Empress reclaim her glory against the duo formerly known as Absolution?

 

2v1 Handicap: Asuka VS Mandy Rose & Sonya Deville!

SmackDown returns to this match at the bell, and Sonya starts with Asuka. The Gladiator Gal lunges but the Empress avoids. The Princess has joined commentary while Asuka gives a test kick at Sonya. Asuka and Sonya tie up, and Asuka puts Sonya in a corner. Mandy tags in, and fans cheer for God’s Greatest Creation. Mandy trise to power Asuka to the corner but asuka throws her off. Sonya tags back in and she circles with Asuka again. They tie up, Asuka wrenches the arm to a wristlock, but Sonya reverses. Asuka reverses back but Sonya forearms out to then waistlock and throw Asuka down. Asuka reverses to a kneebar, but Sonya ropebreaks. Carmella keeps boasting about herself while Asuka and Sonya tie up again.

Asuka trips Sonya, things speed up and Sonya hip tosses Asuka. Sonya runs but Asuka avoids the sliding knee, and Asuka dropkicks Sonya in return. Asuka is fired up but Mandy distracts. Sonya sucker punches Asuka, then asks “Who do you think you are?!” Fans boo Sonya while cheering Asuka. Sonya throws hands on Asuka then tags Mandy. Mandy stomps a mudhole into Asuka, then embraces the heat. Mandy tags Sonya, and they mug Asuka again. Sonya stalks Asuka at the ropes, then puts her back in the corner to tag in Mandy. Sonya rams in shoulders, then Mandy rams hers in. Mandy throws forearms but backs off at the ref’s count. Mandy snapmares Asuka into a chinlock while fans keep rallying. Carmella is more worried about her hair than what Asuka will do to her.

Asuka endures the chinlock, then fights back, but Mandy throws her down. Cover, TWO, but Mandy goes back to the chinlock. Fans rally while Asuka gets up and fights back again. Asuka powers out and collides with Mandy. Asuka fires up, then speeds up to hip attack Mandy! Mandy gets to a corner but gets another hip attack. Asuka tosses Mandy out to then climb up top. Asuka aims, and hits the missile dropkick! Carmella distracts Asuka, Sonya tags in and then clobbers Asuka! Sonya digs her knee into Asuka while Carmella moonwalks on the announce desk. The champ has handed the match to Sonya while we go picture in picture.

Sonya chokes Asuka at the ropes while Carmella keeps dancing. Sonya drags Asuka up and snapmares her, to then slide into a bodyscissor hold. Asuka endures as Sonya adds a chinlock. Asuka pushes back to a cover, TWO and they separate. Sonya spinebusters Asuka! Cover, TWO, but Sonya keeps her cool. Mandy tags in, and they both stand on Asuka’s chest. Mandy drags Asuka over and hammers away. She drags Asuka into an arm wrench and adds a chinbar for a unique abdominal stretch. Asuka endures, even as Mandy also pulls hair. Asuka fights out, then fires off kicks, but Mandy catches one to throw Asuka with an exploder! Cover, TWO, and Mandy grows frustrated. Mandy toys with Asuka, then rains down more rights.

Mandy stalks Asuka at the ropes, then chokes her at the ropes. She brings Asuka back over and tags Sonya. Mandy stomps away, then Sonya adds kicks. Sonya tags back to Mandy, and Mandy brings Asuka up with the butterfly underhook. Asuka fights her way out then rolls Mandy, TWO, so Asuka hits Sonya then shining wizard to Mandy! Asuka is still catching her breath but she’s not giving up. She and Mandy trade forearms on their knees while we go single picture. They go back and forth as they stand up, but Asuka ducks to then dropkick Mandy! Asuka spins Mandy around for a German Suplex! Carmella is still calm while Mandy elbows Asuka. Sonya tags in but Mandy gets kicked down. Sonya gets the pop-up knee, then the hip attack! Cover, but Mandy breaks it.

Asuka grabs Mandy and tosses her out, but Sonya rolls Asuka up! TWO, and they go roundhouse for roundhouse, double roundhouses!

Both women are down and a ten count begins. Carmella is still not worried, as the count reaches 8! Asuka and Sonya stagger up at 9, but then Sonya runs into a knee! But Sonya fires up and SPEARS Asuka! Cover, TWO! Sonya can’t believe Asuka survived. She covers again, TWO, and now Sonya grows frustrated. Sonya gives knee after knee to Asuka, in return for Asuka’s knee. Sonya runs, but into an arm-lock! She manages to reverse but Asuka reverses, and the Asuka Lock is in! Sonya taps, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by submission

The Empress defeats two opponents at once, yet Carmella is smugly unafraid. Carmella says “enough is enough”, and goes into the ring with Asuka. She holds up her belt but Asuka still grins. Mandy returns, but Asuka back fists her away! Carmella clubs Asuka from behind! Carmella stalks Asuka, and hits the FABULOUS Kick. The Champion is all smiles now, and vows #MellaintheBank will be her PPV. Are her calculations correct? Or will Asuka show Carmella that her math means NOTHING in regards to the Empress?

 

The Miz trains backstage.

But Mr. Bootyworth is there? And so are The New Day! Hokage Miz, they want to apologize for their jerkish behavior. Miz just wanted to know which member enters the MITB match. They are taking this seriously. And it’s because it was thanks to him giving them a Reality Check. The New Day know the truth hurts, and admit it’s been very hard to decide. Therefore, they want Miz to help them reveal their member to the world. What’s the catch? No catch, just names in a hat. Put your hand in the hat and pull out a name. Then “ya bois” will be Misters Money in the Bank. Miz agrees, and reaches in, but they want him to wait. No peeking. Headband down as a blindfold and… Hat swap! It’s not names, it’s pancake batter!

This won’t be so funny when Samoa Joe puts Woods to Sleep, Rusev MACHKA Kicks Kofi, and Miz beats Big E again! Miz then wipes the batter off on Bootyworth’s shirt. Who will get the last laugh in tonight’s Six Man Tag?

 

Harper w/ Rowan VS Karl Anderson w/ Luke Gallows!

These two pairs of brothers in battle will battle 2v2 at MITB for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships in two weeks. As for tonight, it’s 1v1 as the Machine Gun tries his hand against Harper. The bell rings and Harper dropkicks Anderson right away! Harper uppercuts and scrapes Anderson’s face, then puts him in a corner. The fans chant “Too Sweet!” for Anderson but Harper keeps on him with clubbing forearms, and a running elbow into the back. Cover, ONE, but Harper drags Anderson up to uppercut him into a corner. Harper chops Anderson, then stalks him, before standing on Anderson’s head. He rakes the eyes, then uppercuts Anderson again. Anderson gets to ropes, but Harper palm strikes him to a corner. Harper backs Gallows off, then whips Anderson, for the scrapbuster!

Anderson writhes but Harper isn’t done with him. Harper puts Anderson in another corner, but Anderson kicks back! Harper uppercuts again, but misses the superkick. Anderson rolls Harper up, ANDERSON WINS!

Winner: Anderson, by pinfall

The Good Brothers sneak one! The Machine Gun ends the insane win streak Harper has been on since returning. Can Gallows & Anderson combine for another miracle like this and take those titles from the Bludgeon Brothers?

 

Jimmy Uso & Naomi speak.

Lana tried to bust a move and a little bit more last week. That won’t happen at MITB, because Naomi will snatch Lana bald and snatch the contract. As for tonight, this husband-wife combo shows why they’re the ones who really run SmackDown. #WelcometotheUsoPenitentiary.

 

Mixed Tag: Naomi & Jimmy Uso w/ Jey Uso VS Lana & Aiden English!

Corpus Christi, it’s #GlowTime as Naomi and Jimmy bring back their Mixed Match Challenge combination to take on the Ravishing Russian and not her husband. The founding father of Rusev Day is busy with his own tag match later, so MC Artiste takes over. “Our opponents want to glow inside a penitentiary, but they’re about to face the loss of the century.” And when it’s done, everyone know why Lana is the best, Lana number one!

The bell rings and the men start. Jimmy and English circle, then tie up. English gets the headlock, and sings “Rusev Daaay~”. Jimmy powers out but English reverses, only for Jimmy to uppercut him away. English is in fear for his moneymaker throat, and he has Lana help check on him. English is fine, but then they run into double enziguri from Uso & Naomi! They end up outside, so Jimmy holds the ropes for Naomi to FLY!

The #UceGlow is in control while we go to break.

SmackDown returns, and Lana begs Naomi not kick her. Naomi spins Lana, and kicks and kicks, but Lana ducks them each time, so Naomi throws in an knee! Lana goes down, and Naomi steps at English. English panics, but Lana pounces. Lana gives Naomi a kick, then covers, TWO. English coaches Lana on and Lana vows she is number one. Lana chokes Naomi at the ropes, then backs up at 4. She runs and hits double knees, then covers. TWO, and Lana grows frustrated. Lana brings Naomi into her corner for a boot grind, but stops at 4. Fans rally for Naomi as Lana bounces her off the match. Lana puts Naomi in an armlock, adding a chinbar. Naomi endures while fans duel and rally. Naomi sits up but Lana pushes her into buckles! Lana boasts while Naomi recovers. Lana says “Uce! NO!” but Naomi dropkicks her down!

Naomi crawls for Jimmy but Lana tackles her down! Lana drags Naomi away and drops elbows. Cover, TWO, and Lana grows frustrated. Lana puts Naomi back in the armlock and chinbar. Fans rally again and Naomi fights her way up and out. Naomi jawbreakers, but Lana keeps her away from Jimmy. Naomi tugs Lana back and reaches for Jimmy, but Lana grabs hair. Lana gets rolled up, TWO, double clotheslines take them both out! Fans rally again as they crawl, hot tag to Jimmy! The men both come in and Jimmy rallies on English! Jimmy kicks low then uppercuts, and English again worries about his throat. English avoids the Samoan Drop but not the dragon whip kick! Jimmy fires up and hits the hip attack in the corner! Cover, but Lana breaks it just in time. Lana SLAPS Jimmy, but Naomi alley-oops to tackle Lana!

The women roll out of the ring, but English back splashes Jimmy. Jimmy is down in a corner, and English says “RUS-ev Day!” He runs corner to corner but Noami FLIES in to crossbody! Then SUPERKICK from Jimmy! Cover, Uso & Naomi win!

Winners: Uso & Naomi, Jimmy Uso pinning

The husband-wife combo succeeds! This gives Naomi big momentum towards the Women’s MITB match, but will she or Lana be able to overcome a star-studded field of eight?

 

SmackDown GM Paige is backstage for the WWE Championship contract signing.

She thanks the challenger and champion for being present at the table. Shinsuke Nakamura and AJ Styles sit across from each other, with security on hand just in case. Their match will be Last Man Standing, meaning one man wins when the other cannot stand after a count of 10. There will be a winner this time, but are their questions? Styles has more of a statement. Styles and Shinsuke have been warring forever. Shinsuke played his games, drove Styles to the edge, but Styles understands why. “Because you know straight up, you can’t beat me.” It’s why Nakamura plays around and chose such a match type. But every dirty trick Nakamura has won’t work this time. Styles vows to walk and walk out WWE Champion.

Without any further comment, Paige has them sign the contract. Styles signs first. Nakamura claims the pen is out of ink. He wants to borrow Styles’. Styles gives him the pen, and Nakamura examines it. Nakamura claims the pen is broken. Styles gets pissed, he wants Nakamura to sign it already! Nakamura keeps playing his games, but then Styles SLAPS him!

Styles is accompanied out of the room, and Nakamura reveals he had a back-up pen. Nakamura signs, and the match is made. “Last Man Standing”, Nakamura likes the sound of that. But will he like what Styles does to him when there are no rules but to win?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Becky Lynch!

While these two are the SmackDown half of the WWE Four Horsewomen, while these two are friends and love having tea time, these two are former SmackDown Women’s Champions and they both want that title back. The first step to that is winning the MITB contract, which both of them also want. The Queen of Flair is up 4-3 in their all-time series, but can the Lass Kicker tie it up here tonight?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, and Becky arm-drags Charlotte away. Becky grins as they circle and go again. Becky reverses Charlotte’s’ attempt but Charlotte throws Becky out. Charlotte lets Becky return, then gets the takedown. Becky denies the figure four but Charlotte denies the Disarm-her, so Becky settles for a headlock. Charlotte stands up and pries her way out, to put on a headlock. Becky powers out, but Charlotte handsprings over her. Things speed up and Chalrotte headscissors Becky to the ropes. The fans “WOO~!” as the two friend stare down. Charlotte gets a takedown but Becky slips out of the cover to roll Charlotte, TWO. Charlotte tries to roll Becky, but then Becky gets the ropebreak. Fans are dueling, and the friends clink glasses for tea time.

But then they both kick! They both block, too, and tell the other to let go.

They agree to let go together, and they do. The friends back off and fans applaud, but then things start up again, double crossbodies take them both out! Both women are down while we go picture in picture. Charlotte and Becky stand but Charlotte is on Becky first. Becky jawbreakers and dropkicks, then drops the leg. Becky drops the elbow, then runs to drop the other leg, but Charlotte dodges. Charlotte puts Becky in the headscissor hold and rams Becky’s head into the mat over and over. Charlotte squeezes Becky, but Becky endures. Becky stands up but Charlotte throws her around with the headscissors. Charlotte holds on, and grabs at legs for a cover, TWO.

Charlotte keeps on Becky but Becky reverses the whip to arm-drag Charlotte. Becky arm-drags her again and into an armlock, holding Charlotte down. Charlotte endures the stretch as well as that knee in her face. She moves around but Becky shifts to a bridging armbar! Charlotte endures and Becky stops the bridge while we go single picture. Fans duel while Charlotte gets up. Becky keeps the arm but Charlotte throws forearms. Becky responds, then runs, but into Charlotte’s tilt-o-whirl. She slips through but Charlotte denies the arm submission. Charlotte chops and chops away, but then Becky dodges to give a European Uppercut. Becky gives more EuroUppers, but Charlotte backslides. TWO, and Charlotte chops Becky off her feet. Charlotte gives Becky a back suplex and fires up with a kip-up.

Charlotte runs but into Becky’s boot. Becky jump kicks, then climbs up again, but Charlotte stops her. Charlotte drags Becky out for a crucifix backbreaker, cover, TWO. Charlotte goes for but Becky denies the figure four, then Becky clobbers Charlotte with a flying forearm. Becky fires up while climbing up, for a big leg drop! Cover, TWO! Fans keep dueling, and Becky stalks Charlotte. Charlotte rolls up the hold, TWO, and Becky throws forearms. Becky runs, Charlotte follows, SPEAR! Becky rolls out of the ring, but Charlotte slingshots out! Charlotte takes Becky down, “That’s why I’m the Queen!” Charlotte puts Becky back in the ring, then climbs up top… MOONSAULT! But into knees! Becky small package, TWO.

Charlotte takes Becky down but Becky denies her again. Charlotte comes back and gets part, but Becky counters! Becky gets the Disarm-her!! Charlotte taps, Becky wins!!

Winner: Becky, by submission

The Lass Kicker ties their series, 4-4! But more importantly, this close to MITB, Charlotte is on the downtrend while Becky’s on fire. Becky helps her friend to her feet, and fans cheer for their sportsmanship. Friendship aside, will Becky or Charlotte be the one to climb the ladder and win the golden opportunity? Or will a woman from Raw ruin their chances?

 

Backstage interview with Samoa Joe.

The Destroyer is in the Men’s MITB, but he wants to know what people see when they look at him. Is he vicious? Is he a rabid dog? Or is he a man with a skewed moral compass? Tonight, The New Day learn that all those things are true. Joe is a bit saddened by his own reputation, because what he really wants people to think is that he is a man who keeps his promises. He promised to put Daniel Bryan to sleep, and he did. But he also promised to climb up and grab the briefcase. Joe did that, as a preview of what he wants to do at MITB. SmackDown’s roster trembled because they witnesses the future. And whoever is unfortunate enough to become WWE Champion will know “what you see is what you get.” And soon, everyone will get it.

 

On-stage interview with Big Cass.

The Human Skyscraper is all smiles as he makes his way out to join Renee Young. Cass will get a rematch with Daniel Bryan at Money in the Bank. What will he do to win this time? “Look at how high up you have to hold up that microphone.” Cass is 7 feet tall, while Bryan is maybe an inch taller than Renee. Big Cass has a little story for Bryan. Backstage at Wrestlemania 30, Cass walked down the hall and into the locker room. He was behind Daniel Bryan, who won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. All Cass could think was, “Seriously?” This little guy is THE WWE Champion? Cass claims Bryan’s win was a fluke, as was the win over Cass at Backlash.

But Cass will give credit, Bryan packs a heck of a punch for such someone so “petite.” “A good big man will beat a good little man.” If no one believes Cass, just look at the footage. Samoa Joe put Bryan to sleep in last week’s triple threat. Then, Cass waited for Bryan to stand, and he booted him back down! Cass almost feels bad about that. Almost. But Bryan asked to get back in the ring, but little did he know, a 7 foot shadow would follow him. Bryan has never been in the ring with someone as big as Cass, as educated as Cass, or as big a star as Cass. Cass guarantees 100% that Bryan has never, ever been int he ring that holds a grudge like Cass.

Cass vows to do everything he can to dismantle, beat and embarrass Bryan! “Daniel Bryan, I’m going to take your scrawny little arms, rip them off your body, and beat you over the head with them”. Then he’ll snap those little legs like twigs so that Bryan can never put submission holds on again. Bryan needs to go do what he does best: playing a little garden gnome on Total Bellas. After MITB, Bryan will be beaten and battered, and then come to a slow realization that “a pathetic little man like him, will never survive in this Big Man’s world.” Cass is confident that size matters, but will Bryan get the better of him in their rematch from Backlash?

 

Backstage interview with Sin Cara.

The luchador from El Paso was snubbed by Andrade Almas and Zelina Vega. Was he wrong about how close he and Almas are? Sin Cara has known Almas since Almas was 14 years old, they were like brothers. But something happened. Something? Vega is not just something, she is the best thing to ever happen to Almas. When he had Sin Cara as a role model, he had nothing. Sin Cara had Almas hide behind a mask. Sin Cara made him weak. Almas learned he doesn’t have to hide, and he doesn’t have to be afraid. Especially not of Sin Cara. Sin Cara says that’s not true, but Vega counters that Almas wants a match with Sin Cara. Almas then clobbers Sin Cara from outta nowhere! Almas throws Sin Cara into a trunk, then calls him a dog. Will El Idolo pay for turning on an amigo like that?

 

Six Man Tag: The New Day VS The Miz, Rusev & Samoa Joe!

Awwwww Corpus Christi~! Don’t you dare be sour, clap for the world famous four time champs and feel~, the powah~! Positive energy and plenty of pancakes accompany Woods, Kofi & Big E, but they still haven’t told us who–who who who?–will enter the Men’s MITB on behalf of the team. Will the trio keep the secret and keep momentum against the A-Lister, the Bulgarian Brute and the Destroyer?

Miz is very fired up as he starts with Woods, and he throws hands and kicks on Woods in a corner. He taunts fans who want pancakes, then whips Woods corner to corner. Woods goes up and over then speeds things up as he dodges Miz, to then hit Miz with a roaring elbow! Cover, TWO, so Woods keeps on Miz with a EuroUpper. Woods snapmares Miz to then tag in Kofi. Kofi hits the running kick, Woods adds the sliding lariat, then Kofi adds the splash while Woods hops up. Woods hits the elbow drop, then tags Big E, for the Big Splash! Cover, TWO, but The New Day keep their cool. Miz rolls away and tags in Joe, for a first time meeting between truly big superstars. Joe jabs away on Big E, but then runs into Big E’s belly2belly!

Big E tags in Woods to drop hands on Joe. Woods chops, then runs, and hits Miz, but Joe hits Woods with the back elbow and Pele! Joe’s team takes control while we go to break.

SmackDown returns one more time, and Woods is isolated as Miz tags in. Miz snapmares and puts on a chinlock, but fans rally for Woods. Woods stands up and reaches, but Miz wrangles him back down. Miz grins as he squeezes Woods, but fans rally with “New! Day Rocks!” Woods stands up again, and fights out of the hold. Miz whips and hits Woods with the kitchen sink knee. Miz then puts Woods in a corner and hoists him up top. He climbs up to join Woods, but Woods denies the superplex. Woods fights back and knocks Miz down, to then adjust and hit a missile dropkick! Fans rally again, but Miz tags Joe first. Joe swings at Big E, but then Rusev pounces and puts Big E into steel steps!

Woods kicks Joe, then shining wizard! Woods and Joe are down, but crawling for their corners. Joe tags Miz, Woods tags Kofi! Kofi springboards and rallies, hitting Miz with double chops and a dropkick. Kofi keeps moving but Miz dodges to then whip, only for Kofi to use that for a crossbody! Cover, TWO, and Kofi goes for SOS. Miz pushes him away but Kofi rebounds with a leaping lariat! Kofi fires up, and hits the “New Day~” Boom Drop! Fans fire up as Kofi claps. Kofi aims at Miz, but Joe returns. Kofi hits him first, but Miz hits Kofi with the low DDT! Cover, TWO! Miz is shocked, but keeps focus as he brings Kofi up. Miz wants the Finale but Kofi arm-drags. Rusev tags in, Kofi dodges Miz, but Rusev suplexes Kofi. Kofi lands on his feet, Big E tags in!

Rusev runs into boots, then Big E’s overhead belly2belly! Big E runs, but into a knee and a roundhouse! Joe tags in, Rusev feeds him to the “Sit down!” Yurinagi! Cover, but Woods breaks it! Rusev goes after Woods but Woods dumps him out. Woods fires up, and FLIES! They go down, but Joe tags Miz. Miz whips Joe, but Kofi and Big E dump him out. Miz goes after E, but Kofi springboards to Trust Fall onto Joe! Big E throws Miz out to DIVE THROUGH HIM!

Big E hurries and puts Miz back in, then brings those straps down. Fans fire up as Kofi tags in, but Joe goes around to trip up Woods! Joe puts on the Coquina, and then MACHKA Kick takes out Kofi! Big E runs into a post, and Miz coordinates with the others. Joe and Rusev come around while Miz gets the pancakes?

Miz’s prediction has been right up to this point, and now he wants to humiliate Big E via pancakes. Kofi fails to make the save, but then Miz throws the pancakes at the wrong people! MACHKA Kick for Miz, and the back senton from Joe! Joe and Rusev ditch Miz, so the New Day regroups. Big E tags back in, he and Kofi hit Miz with the Midnight Hour! Cover, the New Day win!

Winners: The New Day, Big E pinning

We still don’t know who who who joins the Men’s MITB match, but ya bois still have the momentum. Whichever member it is, will they be the one to make the entire team the joint Misters Money in the Bank?

 

 

My Thoughts:

SmackDown was MUCH better than Raw last night. Raw may have had entertaining moments, but there were flaws to most of what they did. SmackDown made sure every moment was great and pushed the story along in some way. Granted, Carmella’s opening segment did the same as Raw’s: it made a match happen. But the match that came out of it was more compelling as Asuka uses the duo formerly known as Absolution to build great momentum, yet also helped give Mandy & Sonya more credibility. Carmella is doing great as her falsely confident self, and I’m betting something happens on next week’s go-home to snap her back to reality.

Is Hell freezing over? WWE just let Karl Anderson win, 1v1, and clean. I still don’t think The Club beat The Bludgeon Brothers at MITB, but I hope The Club finally get to bring out more of that real ability. Jimmy & Naomi got to show their ability as a mixed tag team, I wonder if it’d be easier to make a mixed tag division instead of a women’s tag. That WWE Championship contract signing was uniquely done, and it worked out. That slap from Styles was impressive, too. Their match can still go either way, but with how in control Nakamura is, he might be getting a 51% edge. Cass’ promo made his point, and Almas’ attack on Sin Cara was well-planned, they’re both making progress. I’m glad Sin Cara is back on TV, even if it’s for someone else’s benefit in kayfabe.

Charlotte VS Becky was amazing. It was a bit shy of my hoped-for 20 minutes but it was definitely worthy of stars like them. It’d be great for Becky to be the second-ever Ms. MITB, but even if she doesn’t win it, the story of her dealing with another disappointment could be what she needs to reach the title without the contract. In essence, she could go through what Daniel Bryan did: finally win the title, only for the cash-in to take it all away. The Six Man Tag was pretty good, and it helps tie in the New Day’s story of keeping their entrant a secret. I almost thought Miz and team were going to win as Miz predicted, but the fever pitch of that crowd, The New Day had to win.

My Score: 8.5/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

Published

33 mins ago

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July 26, 2024

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

Published

20 hours ago

on

July 25, 2024

By

Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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