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Mitchell’s WWE Fastlane Results & Report! (3/10/19)

The Road to Wrestlemania goes through the Fastlane!

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WWE Fastlane 2019

WWE steps on the gas and drives in the Fastlane! Will the New Daniel Bryan stay the world champion? Will Becky Lynch earn her way into a Triple Threat?

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Kickoff Match – The New Day VS Shinsuke Nakamura & Rusev w/ Lana; The New Day wins.
  • SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Miz & Shane McMahon; The Usos win and retain the SmackDown Tag Team Championships.
  • SmackDown Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville; Asuka wins and retains the SmackDown Women’s Championship.
  • WWE Championship Triple Threat: Daniel Bryan w/ Rowan VS Kevin Owens VS Kofi Kingston; changed to…
  • 2v1 Tornado Handicap Match: The Bar VS Kofi Kingston; The Bar wins.
  • Raw Tag Team Championships Triple Threat: The Revival VS Bobby Roode & Chad Gable VS Aleister Black & Ricochet; The Revival wins and retains the Raw Tag Team Championships.
  • WWE United States Championship Fatal 4 Way: Samoa Joe VS Rey Mysterio VS R-Truth w/ Carmella VS Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega; Samoa Joe wins and retains the WWE United States Championship.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Sasha Banks & Bayley VS Nia Jax & Tamina; Banks & Bayley win and retain the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships.
  • WWE Championship Triple Threat: Daniel Bryan w/ Rowan VS Kevin Owens VS ???; Bryan wins and retains the WWE Championship.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Becky Lynch; Lynch wins, by disqualification, and joins the Raw Women’s Championship match at Wrestlemania as a Triple Threat.
  • Six Man Tag: The Shield VS Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre & Bobby Lashley; The Shield wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the WWE Fastlane Kickoff Show!

Join Johnathan Coachman, Beth Phoenix, David Otunga and Sam Roberts in previewing the action for tonight’s final stop before Wrestlemania!

 

The IIconics join the panel.

Billie Kay & Peyton Royce play dumb as to knowing Sasha Banks & Bayley are in town. It’s because they haven’t seen the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions on SmackDown yet. They have a good point, but then are they out here to call them out? But what happens if Nia Jax & Tamina win? The IIconics aren’t going to ask nor answer that question. Quiet, Sam. But the IIconics are the future, and the future is IIconic! Strike the pose! Then will the IIconics give a prediction on this first title defense? Billie consults with Peyton, and they go with Boss & Hug Connection. Coach thinks that’s in their best interest considering Nia- What’s that? What’s that, Coach? Look Billie in the eyes and say that again. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Will the inaugural champions stay the champions? Or will the Samoan Dynasty have gold this close to Wrestlemania?

 

Backstage interview with Fire & Desire.

Mandy Rose prepares for her title match with Asuka. She won thanks to a fake eye injury, and Asuka got her back for it. Does Mandy think tonight is a long shot? Well Asuka had to attack them from behind, so she must be desperate. Asuka is the one with a long shot chance to win. Sonya says Mandy is strategic, focused, and has the mental edge. But EC3 comes along. “Mannnndy.” Oh wow, he speaks. He does a lot of things, except forgetting to introduce himself. EC3 is between brands, and he’s a bit of a hot commodity. Something these two know a lot about.

Oh so the first thing EC3 says is this? There’s more where that came from. Well Mandy’s not on Earth to flirt with a human tanning bed. She has more important things to focus on. Sonya and EC3 click at each other before EC3 leaves. Will the Top One Percent pursue SmackDown as his main roster home?

 

Carmella petitions for R-Truth’s United States Championship rematch.

The Fabulous Princess gets signatures, but Zelina Vega has advice for Carmella. Truth lost but Carmella has a clipboard like they’re somebodies. Unlike John Cena, Truth should give up. Because El Idolo will finish Rey Mysterio and move on to the title. Oh but didn’t Samoa Joe pin Almas in that Fatal 4 Way? Samoa Joe himself comes by and before this escalates, he’ll make this clear: he is the champion. And Joe will continue to be champion. If Truth, Mysterio or Almas have a problem, then just come see him. He’ll be more than happy to put their problems to sleep. And he even signs the petition. Tonight, everyone gets what they want: It’s a FATAL 4 WAY REMATCH for the title!!

 

Christian joins the panel!

He jokes around with Sam and Otunga, but he also has some matches to talk about. The Miz gets to be in his hometown of Cleveland, does Christian think that’ll help? It might be more of a distraction. If you want to know why Miz is so annoying, just look to Papa Miz. Give Papa Miz a luxury box seat, not one ringside! But Miz is approaching 40, why is he still looking for his father’s approval? The Usos are laser focused, but why is Miz worrying about his daddy issues? Christian knows about tag title reigns, it’s about chemistry. Usos have chemistry from the womb while Miz and Shane are kinda forced. And Christian never had to go for dad’s approval. Does this spell doom for the would-be Best Tag Team in the World?

 

Aleister Black & Ricochet speak.

“Our lives are defined by moments.” Ricochet will never forget falling in love with high-flying. Or the moment that he was going to the WWE. And now he’ll create a new moment in his WWE PPV debut. As a kid from Kentucky, Ricochet has always wanted to be a WWE champion, and he’ll make that dream come true. Aleister reminds us that “People fear the unknown.” With each of their victories, they put fear in the hearts of their opponents. This isn’t about the past, this is about destiny choosing them to win the Raw Tag Team Championships. One flies, one strikes, and all the rest will #FadetoBlack. Will this air strike of destiny hit its mark in the Triple Threat?

 

AJ Styles joins the panel.

The Phenomenal One speaks on the “mistake” of replacing Kofi Kingston in tonight’s WWE Championship. Kofi went through four other competitors just to get this close to the title and it was all taken away by a whim. As for Kevin Owens, Styles agrees that Bryan needs his mouth shut, but it should’ve been by Kofi. Kofi’s probably got the best chance of stopping Bryan. The Road to Wrestlemania is in the home stretch, and Styles knows what it takes to get to the end. Bryan has been doing this a long time and is going to another level. Bryan has Rowan as a back-up but Kevin will surely think outside the box. But what about Styles’ own fall? He’s gone from champion to contender to commentator. Well you can’t always be the top guy, but Styles will bide his time.

Then what about Randy Orton always having a retort? Orton’s a bully and he’s just trying to pester Styles into reacting. Christian knows Orton can get in your head without even trying. But Styles is confident, he’ll deal with Orton when the time comes.

 

Backstage interview with Kevin Owens.

The Prizefighter made a surprising return and now has a title match. With all the controversy, has he been able to focus? The controversy is all Vince McMahon’s thing, go ask him. Kevin still agrees, Kofi earned his shot but Kevin’s not going to refuse his own. This is to make life better for him and his family. Plus, Kevin just can’t stand Bryan talking down to the WWE Universe anymore. All the fans have wanted to punch Bryan so Kevin will do that for us! But then in come the New Day. Kofi just wants to say he has no problem with Kevin. This is Kevin’s shot, so good luck. Kevin appreciates that, and shakes Kofi’s hand. And good luck in the tag match. Speaking of, that’s up next!

But wait, the McMahons want to speak with Kofi in regards to a WWE Championship match?! Big E and Xavier Woods are excited for Kofi, but is this what we’re all thinking?!

 

Kickoff Match – The New Day VS Shinsuke Nakamura & Rusev w/ Lana!

The power of positivity and pancakes comes to Cleveland to take on a rather effective makeshift team! Can Big E & Woods keep the King of Strong Style and Bulgarian Brute from gaining any ground in the SmackDown Tag Division?

The teams sort out and we begin with Woods and Nakamura. Woods and Nakamura circle while fans chant “New! Day Rocks!” Nakamura simply ignores it while he tests with kicks. They tie up and Nakamura waistlocks. Woods works to a wristlock, but Nakamura cartwheels and reverses back. Nakamura knees Woods to a corner then throws strikes. Nakamura whips corner to corner but Woods goes up and over. Woods runs and things speed up, Woods tilt-o-whirl headscissors! Cover, TWO! Woods brings Nakamura up but Rusev runs in. Woods turns around into a roundhouse! Nakamura tags to Rusev while we go picture in picture.

Rusev covers, TWO! Rusev grimaces as he looms over Woods. He stomps Woods at the ropes, then sits him up for a swift kick to the back! Fans rally but Nakamura tags in. Nakamura and Rusev mug Woods, but Woods hits back. We return to single picture as Nakamura knees Woods back down. Nakamura stomps Woods in the corner then kicks Woods’ leg. Tag to Rusev and Rusev throws heavy hands. Rusev rams his shoulders in over and over! Rusev taunts Big E but goes back to Woods. He lifts Woods into the bearhug! Fans rally as Woods endures the squeeze. Woods ear claps Rusev off then throws haymakers. Rusev knees low then tags Nakamura. They double whip, for pop-up knee to enziguri! Cover, TWO! Nakamura drags Woods away while we check on The Miz talking to his dad.

Papa Miz hopes Miz brings the titles home. Well then he better get to his seat, because the SmackDown Tag Titles are first! Shane comes by, says hi to Papa Miz, and gets pumped up with The Miz for their match. Back in the ring, Woods fights his way out of Nakamura’s facelock but Nakamura knees low. Nakamura puts him in the corner and tags in Rusev. Rusev puts Woods on the top rope and throws haymakers. Rusev climbs up top but Woods resists. Woods throws body shots back and headbutts Rusev down! Woods adjusts, leaps, missile dropkick hits! Both Woods and Rusev are down but fans fire up! Woods and Rusev crawl, hot tags to Nakamura and Big E! Big E rallies with overhead suplexes! And a belly2belly! Fans fire up as Big E swivels the hips. Big E runs, BIG Splash!

But Big E’s not done there. He waits for Nakamura to stand, and he scoops. Nakamura slips around to a guillotine! Big E squats, but powers back up! Big E powers Nakamura off! Nakamura rolls to the apron and slowly stands. Big E builds speed, to get a knee! Nakamura drags Big E out to kick away between the ropes! And an ax kick! Nakamura climbs while Big E staggers away. Leaping knee! Cover, TWO! The New Day still lives, so Nakamura tags Rusev. The King and Brute work together to whip Big E, but Woods tags in. Big E fights off Rusev but gets the dynamic dropkick. Nakamura runs into the swing kick and step-n complete shot! Rusev roundhouses Woods! Cover, TWO! Rusev grows frustrated as he glares at Woods. Fans rally as Rusev drags Woods into a corner.

Rusev puts Woods up top and throws heavy haymakers. Woods throws them back and boots Rusev away. Woods leaps over Rusev, to come back for a wheelbarrow, but Rusev blocks to a wheelbarrow suplex! Cover, TWO!! Nakamura returns and Rusev tags him in. They drag Woods up and whip again. Fireman’s carry to suplex! Sliding knee! Cover, TWO!! Woods stays alive so Nakamura takes aim. Woods counters the Kinshasa to a roll-up! TWO, but tag to Big E! Urenage backstabber combo! Big E runs Rusev over and hauls Nakamura up. Woods climbs, but Rusev distracts the ref. Lana trips up Woods! Nakamura boots Big E then tags Rusev. Nakamura runs but is sent out. Big E turns around into a MACHKA KICK! Cover, Woods saves it! The New Day will not die!

Nakamura throws Woods into buckles, but Woods dumps him out! Rusev runs but Woods dumps him out! Tag, and Woods builds speed! Woods FLIES, but is caught! Rusev and Nakamura double slam Woods down! Woods writhes but Rusev puts him in. Cover, TWO!! Woods continues to survive, but Rusev shouts to “CRUSH!!” Rusev stomps Woods, and puts on the Accolade! Woods endures being bent back, but he powers up to get an arm out! Rusev gets the arm back but Woods still gets closer tot he ropse. Nakamura pulls the ropes away! Big E grabs Nakamura and dumps him into the timekeeper’s area! Rusev lets Woods go to shout at Big E, but gets caught in a cradle! TWO!! Rusev runs in but misses. Tag to Big E, and Big E scoops Rusev. Woods climbs. UpUpDownDown! Cover, The New Day wins!!

Winners: The New Day, Big E pinning

Lana scowls as her two heavy hitters lose again. The New Day celebrate this win, but will they be celebrating something even bigger when they regroup with Kofi?

 

“What are you willing to do to get to Wrestlemania?”

They all follow roads. Some to glory, some to pain. But all roads lead home. The Big Dog overcame a true fight for his life, but now he wants it #OneLastTime. The Shield reunites, but will they be back on top? Vince McMahon tried to deny The Man, but will Straight Fire head straight for Mania? And Vince McMahon did very much the same to Kofi Kingston, but will that come back to bite the Planet’s Champion? There are tag titles a plenty, but who is taking them all the way to the goal? The Road to Wrestlemania enters the Fastlane!

 

SmackDown Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS The Miz & Shane McMahon!

Jimmy & Jey may have the titles #OnLock, but will Cleveland’s own bring championships home? The Miz and Shane look to truly be the Best Tag Team in the World, will they do Papa Miz proud?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we begin! Jimmy starts against Shane and “The Land” is strong behind their hometown here and his Co-Besty. Jimmy and Shane approach but Shane’s test kicks keep Jimmy back. Jey points out the shoes while Jimmy circlds with Shane. Jimmy runs into a jab! And then an arm-drag! And another arm-drag! Shane gets Jimmy with a Russian Leg Sweep! Tag to The Miz and Cleveland is ready! The Co-Besties give co-jabs and fancy foot work! Jimmy slides away and tags to Jey. Jey runs into Miz’s boot! Cover, ONE! Miz keeps on Jey with CHOPS! Cleveland chants “Miz is Awesome!” as Miz gives more chops to Jey. Miz whips but Jey reverses. Jey runs into a mule kick, and Miz goes up and over with a sunset flip! TWO, but Miz brings Jey over.

Tag to Shane, and they hit the Hart Attack! Cover, TWO! Shane puts Jey in the corner for mudhole stomps and fast hands. The ref counts but Shane back elbows at 4. Shane hits Jimmy for good measure, but Jey hits back. Jey headlocks, Jimmy tags in, and the Usos work together to run Shane over! Shane sits up in a daze while Jimmy looms closer. Jimmy headbutts Shane down then throws elbows. Jimmy drops one more headbutt then covers, ONE! Fans rally for Shane as Jimmy brings him up. Jimmy throws uppercuts and puts Shane in the corner. Tag to Jey and the Usos split the wishbone. Jey stays between Shane and Miz as he rains down rights and stomps. Jey wraps Shane in a chinlock but Cleveland continues to rally. Shane endures and reaches but Jey turns Shane away. Jey shifts to a facelock but the rally builds.

Shane feeds off the energy as Jey shifts back to a chinlock. Shane fights free, but gets the dragon whip kick! Cover, TWO! Jimmy tags in and hits Miz while Jey drags Shane away. Fans boo as Jimmy stomps Shane. Jimmy drags Shane to the ropes and chokes him, but stops at 4. Jey gets a sucker punch in! Miz protests but Jimmy wraps another chinlock on. Shane endures again while fans rally up. Shane fights and crawls for his corner, but Jimmy keeps Shane away. Jimmy drops a fist, then drags Shane away. Tag to Jey and Jey hits a leaping headbutt! Cover, ONE! Shane crawls to the ropes while Jey grows frustrated. Jey throws a big right, but into the float-over DDT from Shane! Both men are down but the fans rally up! Shane and Jey crawl, hot tags to Jimmy and Miz!

Miz hits the springboard ax handles! He hits Jey then flapjacks Jimmy! Miz gives It Kicks in the corner! He goes corner to corner for double knees! And then for more! Cleveland is fired up as Miz hits the A-List Lariat. Miz boots Jey then slides under Jimmy for a sunset flip! TWO, but Miz dumps Jimmy out. Miz takes off the jersey and climbs up high! Miz LEAPS and wipes both usos out! And right in front of Papa! Papa Miz applauds, too, as Miz puts Jimmy in. Miz ducks the dragon whip, hits the low DDT! Cover, TWO! Shane and the fans rally as Miz keeps his focus. Miz runs, but Jimmy ducks the boots! Roll up, TWO! Jey tags in and Jimmy rocks Miz with an elbow. Pop Up Samoan Drop! Cover, TWO!! Miz survives but Jey taunts Shane. “Watch this!”

Jey runs in, but into a full nelson! Jey resists the Finale to mule kick. Tag to Jimmy, but Miz fights back with elbows and boots. Miz goes up, into DOUBLE SUPERKICKS! Cover, but Shane breaks it! Shane throws hands on Jey! But Jey reverses, Samoan Drop Neckbreaker! Miz dumps Jey out, then gets Jimmy, Skull Crushing Finale! But the ref’s too busy helping Shane!! Cover counted, TWO!! Miz can’t believe how close they were! Miz keeps his cool as he drags Jimmy up. He goes after the legs now, and then the Figure Four! But Jimmy sends him into the post! Jey tags in and the Usos haul Miz up into an Electric Chair. The Usos make sure Papa Miz is watching. But Miz slips out and shoves Jey into Jimmy! Roll up, TWO!!

Miz puts Jey on the apron but runs into a kick! Jey climbs up but Miz hits back! Miz throws more lefts then climbs up. Jey fights back and hits a BIG hotshot! Jimmy and Miz are down, but Shane aims at Jimmy! But Jey gets in Shane’s way. They each want to leap! Jey leaps, Shane hits HIM!! Everyone is down and Cleveland is losing its mind! Miz sits up as fans cheer, including Papa! Papa says go up top, so Miz goes up top! Miz aims at Jey, for a frog splash! ONTO KNEES!! Cover, The Usos win!!

Winners: The Usos, by pinfall; still SmackDown Tag Team Champions

Jimmy & Jey take advantage of Miz’s gamble! The Usos keep the titles and move on towards Wrestlemania, but what does this mean for the Co-Besties? Miz and Shane still raise each other’s hands, and hug it out with Papa Miz. They raise Papa Miz’s hands, too, for his part in their run. And then Shane attacks Miz?! Shane fires hands and stomps Miz out!? Fans boo and ask “Why, Shane, Why!?”

Shane rips the “Cleveland is Awesome” shirt and uses it to choke Miz! And then he wipes the sweat with it, to throw at Miz. Shane gives Miz more stomps, right in front of Miz’s dad! Shane talks trash to Papa Miz, then grabs him by his face! He shoves Papa Miz down, then kicks Miz more! Shane drags Miz up for fists right to the head, then into a triangle hold! Shane makes sure Miz and his dad lock eyes as Miz is choked out. Papa Miz pleads that someone stop Shane, but no one can stop Miz from passing out. “That’s your son!” Shane shouts as he rubs his forearms into Miz’s face. Cleveland boos Shane out of the building, but he doesn’t care. Will Shane give us a reason why? Will Miz get revenge either way?

 

The Pack mocks The Shield.

Drew McIntyre says “The Shield rides again. One last time, to be broken by my hands.” Baron Corbin says that while the brothers have been dealing with dysfunction, these there have been dominating. Bobby Lashley says the fight brought them together, but this fight will finish it. This will not be a happy farewell tour, but a crushing and embarrassing defeat. “Believe that.” Corbin, McIntyre & Lashley feel they are the new power in the WWE, but will they feel true power tonight?

 

Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.

The Drifter is in Cleveland, playing his guitar as always. “On the Road to Wrestlemania, we’re in the Fastlane. We just saw Cleveland’s own Miz get his ass kicked by Shane.” Elias sees the future, and as far as he can tell, if that was Miz’s Dad, he’s not going to age well. But Elias is in Cleveland, and he can’t wait to be gone. He’ll head to LA and hang with his friend, LeBron. Elias ends his performance, and Cleveland doesn’t want an encore.

 

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Mandy Rose w/ Sonya Deville!

The Empress of Tomorrow may have gotten suckered by God’s Greatest Creation, but she got her and the Gladiator Gal back. Will Asuka be ready for any other tricks up Mandy’s sleeves? Or will Mandy still not be ready for Asuka?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we begin! Mandy and Asuka circle and tie up. Mandy gets a wristlock but Asuka switches it back quick. Asuka snapmares and kicks Mandy! Asuka gets a headlock but Mandy fights out to get her own headlock. Mandy gets a takedown but Asuka rolls through to a heel hook! Mandy reaches and gets the ropebreak fast. Asuka lets Mandy go and eggs Mandy on. Mandy runs into a takedown then a shoulder. Asuka puts Mandy in a corner then runs in. Mandy puts her on the apron but Asuka hits her back. Asuka keeps Sonya back but Mandy pounces! Mandy drags Asuka in but Asuka breaks free. Asuka blocks a kick, to the Ankle Lock! Sonya runs in but back out. Mandy waistlocks but Asuka standing switches. She rolls Mandy, TWO!

Sonya distracts again, Mandy hits the Golden Knee! Cover, TWO! Mandy rains down rights on Asuka but lets up at 4. Mandy drags Asuka up again for a big suplex! Cover, TWO! Mandy grows frustrated and she tries another cover, TWO! Mandy drags Asuka up and wrenches to a standing abdominal stretch. Asuka endures and Cleveland rallies for her. Mandy digs her elbow in but Asuka fights out. Mandy throws forearms then suplexes, but Asuka slips out. Asuka can’t German so she gets an Octopus Stretch! And she pulls back hard! Sonya starts searching under the ring? Mandy shifts and slams Asuka down! Cover, TWO! Mandy grows frustrated and throws haymakers on Asuka. Asuka grows angry as Mandy talks trash.

Asuka SLAPS Mandy, then again! She throws palm strikes, but Mandy whips. Asuka hops up and hits a missile dropkick! Fans fire up with Asuka as she fires off more palm strikes! Mandy can barely cover up, but she does kick. Asuka blocks it to give a kick of her own! Asuka runs corner to corner for a hip attack! And then the German Suplex! Asuka keeps moving, Sliding Wizard! Cover, TWO! Mandy shows toughness as she slowly stands up. Asuka grins as she stalks Mandy. Asuka kicks away on Mandy at the ropes, then runs. Mandy dodges the hip attack, Golden Knee! Cover, TWO! Sonya is frustrated for Mandy as she drags Asuka up. Mandy underhooks but Asuka flails. Asuka hits the pop-up knee! Sonya panics while Mandy is dazed.

Asuka drags Mandy up for forearms from both sides. Sonya finds what she was looking for: a kendo stick! Mandy ducks the roundhouse and shoulders Asuka away. Mandy whips but Asuak reverses. Sonya forgot to reset the skirt and Mandy trips on it! Asuka back heel kicks Mandy down! Cover, Asuka wins!

Winner: Asuka, by pinfall; still SmackDown Women’s Champion

The Empress wins because Fire & Desire were too busy trying to sneak the win. Mandy isn’t happy about it, will she forgive Sonya? Who will step up to Asuka for Wrestlemania?

 

The New Day look for Kofi Kingston.

What’s the big news? He doesn’t have any! No one has let him in the office. Wait, they’re making HIM wait when they invited him over? They knock again, but then barge in. Vince McMahon is there, and wants to know what this is about. What? He had Kofi waiting. No Vince was waiting for Kofi. No, Kofi has been waiting for 11 years. Vince talked about box office hits, but he’s had it for almost a dozen years! Please do not take this opportunity from Kofi after all Kofi has done for the company. The McMahons said the people will get what they want? Well people want Kofi! Kofi for the WWE Championship at Wrestlemania! Vince says what will happen… is tonight’s WWE Championship is now a Triple Threat! And it’s up next!!

 

WWE Championship Triple Threat: Daniel Bryan w/ Rowan VS Kevin Owens VS Kofi Kingston!

The New Day will have to stay backstage, but that’s fine by them! The WWE Universe has wanted Kofi to have his moment, and this might be the night! Will Kofi bring the power of positivity to that organic championship belt? Will The Prizefighter make good on his own opportunity? Or will the Planet’s Champion remain the world champion?

Wait, hold on. Something’s not right. There’s been a sudden change, the match is actually later tonight. This is a Handicap Match?! Kofi against The Bar, in tornado rules?!

2v1 Tornado Handicap Match: The Bar VS Kofi Kingston!

This is clearly Vice McMahon’s doing, but why!? Is Kofi still in the world title match tonight? Will he even make it to the end of tonight?!

Cesaro & Sheamus have no complaints as they corner Kofi. Kofi fights against them but this is too much! Fans boo as The Bar stomps away on Kofi all over. Sheamus puts Kofi in a corner and The Bar throws hands. Fans chant “You Suck!” but Cesaro still whips Kofi corner to corner. Sheamus whips Cesaro in but Kofi fights back! Kofi sends Sheamus into the post then throws hands on Cesaro. But Sheamus comse back and The Bar again has the numbers. They rain down rights and grind knees in. Cesaro runs Kofi over, and Sheamus helps out for dual Half Crabs! Kofi endures while fans boo this Cleveland Screw Job!

The Bar drags Kofi back up and Cesaro whips Sheamus in for a pump knee! Cesaro adds a running European Uppercut, and then scrapes Kofi out to the floor. The Bar drags Kofi up to club him against the barriers. Sheamus throws EuroUppers, then Cesaro gut wrenches Kofi onto the barriers. The Bar hauls Kofi into the ring to club away on the apron. Fans still chant for Kofi and still boo for The Bar. Kofi revives and boots Cesaro into barriers! Kofi shoves Sheamus into another post! He kicks Cesaro back and into the ring. Kofi climbs up but has to ax handle Sheamus down. Kofi climbs again, and leaps, into a EuroUpper! The Bar coordinates to finish Kofi off. Cesaro powerbomb lifts, Sheamus adds a clothesline, Doomsday Bomb!

But The Bar isn’t through with Kofi, as Sheamus beats his chest. Cesaro holds Kofi up, for the BROGUE! Cesaro takes the cover, but doesn’t finish it! Fans boo even louder, but The New Day come to the ring! Only for Rusev and Nakamura to attack them first! KINSHASA for Big E! MACHKA Kick for Woods! A-Swiss-ted White Noise for Kofi! Cover, The Bar wins.

Winners: The Bar, by pinfall

What horrible abuse of power did we just watch? Is Vince McMahon never going to acknowledge Kofi’s accomplishments?

 

Backstage interview with Sasha Banks & Bayley!

The Boss & Hug Connection defend their titles tonight, and give a quick shout-out to Kofi. His heart is an inspiration to them. How do Sasha & Bayley feel being champion underdogs against Nia Jax & Tamina? Well yes, Nia and Tamina are strong, but these two welcome the challenge. They’ll never take the titles for granted, and they’ll fight for everything they’ve worked for. Sasha & Bayley are ready to defend the belts on all brands and become the best women’s tag champions ever. #BankonThat.

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Elias, again.

The Drifter is giving fans the encore they didn’t want because he doesn’t care what fans want. “It’s a New Day. Oh, yes it is. Kofi just suffered the same fate as that moron, The Miz.” They all looked like some Cleveland Cavaliers: A bunch of beat up losers, just like the fans here. Can we finally put this Kofi talk to rest? And just admit to yourself that the Pittsburgh Steelers are the best. This ends Elias’ second session, will he try to go for a third?

 

Backstage interview with Shane McMahon.

What is his explanation for his attack on The Miz tonight? He doesn’t give one.

 

Raw Tag Team Championships Triple Threat: The Revival VS Bobby Roode & Chad Gable VS Aleister Black & Ricochet!

The #TopGuys worked hard, and sometimes cheated, to finally get these tag titles, and they’re not about to give them up so easily. The GLORIOUS Duo got themselves this rematch by ruining the shot for the NXT air force! Will the Embodiment of the End and the One and Only show everyone not to underestimate them?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and The Revival talk trash. They get punched out of the ring, leaving the GLORIOUS Duo to brawl with Ricochet and Aleister! Aleister and Ricochet boot them out, then fake them out! Superhero landing and cross-leg sit-down! Fans fire up for “NXT! NXT!” while the other two teams talk strategy. Roode & Gable go to their corner and Ricochet officially starts with Gable. They tie up, Gable waistlocks to a takedown to another waistlock. Gable throws Ricochet around but Ricochet back flips out! Ricochet runs and rolls off Gable’s back to then handspring and headscissor Gable! He dropkicks Gable, too! Ricochet brings Gable up but Gable hits him with a right. Gable goes to monkey flip but Dash Wilder tags in.

Ricochet headscissors Gable but Dash grabs Ricochet! Tag to Dawson, assisted suplex! Cover, TWO! The Revival keep on Ricochet as Dawson whips and runs Ricochet over! Dash taunts “Ricky” as Dawson bumps him off buckles. Dawson CHOPS then stomps a mudhole into Ricochet. He drags Ricochet up to a fireman’s carry and tags in Dash. Assisted gutbuster drop! Cover, TWO! Dash drags Ricochet up for a EuroUpper. Fans rally and Ricochet pushes Dash away. Gable tags in and drags Ricochet up. Gable snap suplexes and floats over, TWO! The Revival talk trash while Gable drops legs on Ricochet’s arm. Gable pulls the arm back in a keylock but fans rally for Ricochet. Ricochet fights his way up and jawbreakers free!

Dawson tags in and is right on Ricochet as he hangs him out to dry. Dawson then drops a leg, an elbow and a headbutt down! He hauls Ricochet up for a big back suplex! Cover, TWO! Dawson fish hooks Ricochet’s nose then clamps on a vicious chinlock. Fans rally again and Ricochet fights his way up. Ricochet snapmares Dawson but Dawson shoves him. Dawson runs into a back elbow! Ricochet rocks Dash, then leaps, but Dawson keeps him from Aleister! Dawson puts him in an open corner but Ricochet boots back. Somersault shotgun dropkick! Both men are down but crawling. Roode tags in off Dawson, hot tag to Aleister! The Dutch Destroyer rallies on the GLORIOUS Duo with his strikes! Boot for Gable, and he sends Roode into Dash! Aleister sweeps the legs and drives in the knee! Aleister kips up, springboards, and quebradas!

Fans fire up with Aleister as he lifts Roode’s head. Aleister aims, but his kick is sent into Dawson! Spinebuster from Roode to Aleister! Roode coordinates with Gable and brings Aleister over. Tag to Gable, and he climbs up, But Aleister escapes the Glorious Combination. Gable elbows Aleister but runs into a boot. Ricochet tags in, Aleister Meteora to Roode! Gable rolling kicks Ricochet! Gable rolls Aleister for Chaos Theory, but Dash splashes Gable! Ricochet Shooting Star on Dash! Cover, but Roode breaks it! All six men are down but Cleveland is fired up! The teams regroup and Roode drags Ricochet up. Ricochet throws Roode out, Dawson tags in. Ricochet runs in at Dash but is put on the apron. He fights off both Revival members, and dumps Dash out.

Ricochet climbs, but Gable anchors him. Dawson haymakers Ricochet from the other side! Dawson climbs and drags Ricochet up, but Ricochet rocks him with a right! Ricochet climbs up now, and they stand all the way up. SUPER STEINER on the pile!! Everyone crashes and burns, and Cleveland loses their minds! The teams regroup again, and Ricochet drags Dawson back up and in. Ricochet and Aleister head back in the ring, but Roode clubs Aleister down. Ricochet climbs up but Dawson slips out. Roode whips Aleister into barriers! Ricochet sees that, and DIVES over the post! Ricochet hits Roode, but Gable tags in! Gable climbs up, and leaps at Dawson! Big crossbody! But roll through! TWO, and Gable victory rolls! TWO, and Gable ends up in a hotshot! SHATTER MACHINE!! Cover, The Revival retain!

Winners: The Revival, Scott Dawson pinning; still Raw Tag Team Champions

There’s no time to celebrate! Dash scrapes out Aleister but Roode comes back for a GLORIOUS DDT! BLACK MASS for Roode! Ricochet hits the Landslide on Dash! Ricochet climbs up while Aleister watches guard. 630 senton!! The Revival might have retained, but they’ve still got the NXT air force hot on their tails. Will Aleister & Ricochet get a fair shot down the road? Or will they have NXT to worry about on the Road to Wrestlemania Weekend?

 

WWE United States Championship Fatal 4 Way: Samoa Joe VS Rey Mysterio VS R-Truth w/ Carmella VS Andrade Almas w/ Zelina Vega!

Don’t worry, you’re not watching a rerun from last week’s SmackDown. The Destroyer heard the Fabulous Princess and La Muneca talking about title contenders, and decided to give all three men he beat another shot. Will Joe put all the talk to bed when he puts someone to sleep? Will Truth #BeLikeCena and win the title back? Or will the title go to someone else?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we begin this epic rematch! Truth rushes Joe and Mysterio headscissors Almas! Joe goes after Mysterio now and clubs away. He whips Mysterio but Mysterio slides under. Joe throws Mysterio and Mysterio slides, but into Almas’ facelock. Truth clotheslines Almas to also DDT Mysterio! Carmella coaches Truth up while Joe glares from the middle of the ring. Joe builds speed to DIVE! He barrels into all three opponents! Cleveland chants for Joe as he stalks Mysterio. Joe puts Mysterio in the ring, then puts Almas in. Joe CHOPS Almas to a corner, then CHOPS Mysterio in a corner. Almas CHOPS back, but so does Joe. Joe headbutts Almas then throws forearms on Mysterio.

Joe runs but Truth anchors his feet. Almas rocks Joe with a forearm, then actually works together with Mysterio, pop-up seated senton onto Joe! They bring Joe down but fight each other now! Almas boot feints to elbow Mysterio down! Cover, TWO! Truth throws Joe into steps then back suplexes Almas. Almas whips but Truth comes back with the spinning elbow! Cover, TWO! Zelina is relieved but Carmella keeps her cool. Truth asks “What’s up?!” and does the splits. Almas waistlocks but Truth standing switches. Mysterio springboards and huricanranas them both! Mysterio wheelbarrows Almas and gets both Almas and Truth again! Almas bails out and Mysterio goes after Truth. Truth reverses the whip but gets a kick. Mysterio wheelbarrows, but Joe runs him and Truth over with clotheslines!

Joe drags Mysterio up and throws heavy knees. Carmella and Zelina are both worried as Joe jabs away on Truth. Joe headbutts Truth down then drags him back up. Joe and Truth brawl while Zelina coaches Almas back up. Truth runs but into the sleeper hold! But Mysterio dropkicks Joe onto ropes! Mysterio dials it up but misses! Joe grabs Mysterio for a scoop, but Mysterio tornado DDT’s out of it! Cover, TWO! Mysterio puts Joe in a drop zone then climbs up top. Almas trips Mysterio up and boots Truth back down. Almas CHOPS Mysterio then climbs up to join him. El Idolo references Latino Heat, but Mysterio resists the superpelx. Truth adds on and Electric Chairs Almas. Mysterio SUPER STEINERS Almas off him!

Truth throws Mysterio out and covers Almas, but Mysterio breaks it with a slingshot leg drop! Mysterio covers Truth but Joe breaks it! Joe tosses Mysterio out and stalks Truth. Joe hits the back elbow to PELE! Mysterio springboards but into Joe’s arms! But Almas springboards to dropkick them down! Almas fires up and targets Mysterio. He drags Mysterio up, facelock and Uno Amigo! Dos Amigos! Fans boo as Almas goes for Tres, but Mysterio cradles! TWO, and Almas knees Mysterio low. Almas powerbomb lifts into the Gory Special! Truth dropkicks Almas down! Carmella rallies the fans as Truth covers Almas, TWO! Truth covers Mysterio, Ropebreak! Truth goes back to Almas and drags him up. He throws haymakers, then splashes Mysterio in the corner. Truth comes back but is put on the apron. Joe trips Truth off! Almas triangle corkscrew crossbodies Joe!

Mysterio climbs up top and leaps for a SUPER Huricanrana on Almas! All four men are down and Zelina is shocked, but fans are loving this. Truth drags Mysterio up to throw into the barriers and then into the ring. Truth dodges Zelina’s headscissors, but not her SUPERKICK! Carmella marches over and tackles Zelina! It’s a cat fight, and both Almas and Truth break them up. Joe urenages Mysterio! Cover, but Truth and Almas just break it! Truth throws hands on Joe, but Almas hits La Sombra on Mysterio! Cover, but Truth breaks that. Truth runs at Joe for a corner splash. Then he tells Almas to hit his move? CIEN KNEES for Joe! And then the shoulder tackles of Cena! Spinebuster for Joe, spin-out bomb for Almas!

Truth says “You Can’t See Me!” Five Knuckle Shuffle hits Joe! Almas runs back in but he gets the kick, to Scissor Kick! Cover, but Joe back sentons! Truth kicks Joe but misses the scissors. Joe sends Truth to the post, but Mysterio puts Joe on the ropes! Dial it up, 619!! Drop the Dime! But Joe dodges, and gets the Coquina Clutch!! Mysterio fades out, Joe wins!

Winner: Samoa Joe, by submission; still WWE United States Champion

The Destroyer makes Mysterio go night-night, and successfully retains. Who is left to step to Joe at Wrestlemania?

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Sasha Banks & Bayley VS Nia Jax & Tamina!

The Glamazon, Beth Phoenix, joins commentary for this historic first defense of these brand new tag titles! The Boss & Hug Connection is strong as ever, but will it prove stronger than the Samoan Dynasty?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we begin this historic tag title defense! We begin with Tamina and Bayley at the bell. They tie up and Tamina powers Bayley to an open corner. Tamina backs off but with a shove. Bayley fires off furious forearms! Bayley then dodges Tamina and wrenches the arm. Tag to Sasha and they crisscross Tamina to whip her backwards. Sasha headlocks but Tamina brings her over to tag Nia. Things speed up and Nia scoops Sasha. Sasha slips out and fights back. She rocks Nia with a roundhouse and tags Bayley. But Nia fireman’s carries Sasha to use her as a weapon! Nia dumps Sasha on Bayley then covers Bayley, TWO! Nia keeps on Bayley with furious clubbing forearms. She drags Bayley to the corner and tags in Tamina.

Nia feeds Bayley to Tamina’s clothesline! Tamina covers, TWO! Tamina keeps on Bayley and brings her over for mudhole stomps. Tag to Nia and Nia gloats. Bayley hits back with body shots and forearms, but Nia headbutts her down. Tag back to Tamina, headbutt to uppercut to powerbomb! Tamina covers, TWO! The Samoan Dynasty grows frustrated with Bayley. Tamina keylocks Bayley but fans rally up. Bayley feeds off the energy and fights back. But Tamina headbutts her back. Bayely fights out of the corner, hotshot for Nia! Bayley flapjacks Tamina into buckles! She hurries for her corner but Tamina keeps her back. Bayley fights free, tag to Sasha! Sasha knees Tamina then climbs up for a crossbody! She fires off kicks then runs to run Tamina over! Cover, TWO!

The Boss grows frustrated herself now, but keeps on Tamina. Tamina uppercuts but misses in the corner. Sasha knees then climbs again. She leaps but Tamina gets under. Sasha wheelbarrows but Tamina back suplexes. Sasha lands on her feet and rocks Nia. Tamina rocks Sasha then tags Nia. Pop-up Samoan Drop! Cover, but Bayley breaks it! Nia goes after Bayley and tosses her out. Nia drags Sasha to put her in an open corner. Sasha dodges and hot tag to Bayley! Bayley knees Nia in the corner, then back elbow! Bayley runs in for another, but Tamina runs in. Tamina gets sent out, but Nia catches Bayley! Bayley elbows free and runs back in, but is put on the aprno. She hits Nia and dodges Tamina! Bayley dodges Nia, too! Nia hits the post, tag to Sasha. Bayley helps Sasha hit the meteora!

The Boss & Hug coordinate again, Sasha LEAPS onto Nia and Tamina! They somehow manage to catch her, but Bayley DIVES to bowl them all over! All four women are down but fans are fired up. A ring count begins and passes 5 before the champs sit up. They get Nia in at 8 and Sasha climbs again. Bayley tags in, Sasha hits Meteora. Bayley hits the Macho Elbow! Cover, but Tamina drags Bayley off! Sasha goes after her but gets an uppercut. Tamina gets up but gets the hotshot! Bayley runs at Nia, but into a powerbomb, only to huricanrana through! Cover, Boss & Hug win!

Winners: Bayley & Sasha Banks, Bayley pinning; still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions

But no time to celebrate, as Nia and Tamina attack! Fans boo as they stomp and punch Bayley. Sasha runs in but gets much of the same. The Samoan Dynasty throw Bayley and Sasha out of the ring. SUPERKICK for Bayley! Nia drags Sasha up to toss her over the announce desk! Fans boo but the Samoan Dynasty soaks it all up. And they spot Beth Phoenix! Tamina eyes the Glamazon, but even Nia isn’t sure about challenging a Hall of Fame female superstar. Beth and Tamina talk trash, and Beth fires off! Nia runs Beth over!

The Samoan Dynasty beat Beth down and put her in the ring! Fans boo harder as Nia runs, for a leg drop! Nia drags Beth over, Tamina climbs up, but here comes Natalya! The Queen of Harts saves her friend, but gets a SUPERKICK! The Samoan Dynasty beat both Natty and Beth down until referees finally rush the ring. Nia and Tamina leave with big grins on their faces, but will they regret showing such disrespect?

 

WWE Championship Triple Threat: Daniel Bryan w/ Rowan VS Kevin Owens VS ???

The Planet’s Champion swears to remain the world champion, because that is what both Earth and humanity needs! But Vince McMahon felt what this match needed was someone other than Kofi Kingston. And so, in steps the returning Prizefighter. The Kevin Owens Show returns to PPV with a title opportunity, will he make the most of it? But at the same time, there is still a triple threat stipulation! After Kofi got the beat down from The Bar, who is joining in? It’s Mustafa Ali! Can The Beacon of Light shine brightest in this sudden title opportunity?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we begin! Fans still want Kofi, but Vince McMahon made his decision. Ali, Kevin and Bryan approach, but Bryan tells them both they don’t deserve this match. Bryan has a purpose, but Kevin just punches him down! Ali helps out, too, and they club Bryan down. Kevin tosses Bryan out, and now takes Ali on 1v1. They circle and tie up. Kevin gets a headlock but Ali powers out. Kevin runs Ali over and things speed up. Ali jumps but into the fireman’s carry. He fights out, things speed up again, and Kevin runs Ali over. But Bryan returns to CHOP Kevin! Bryan CHOPS more, but Kevin CHOPS back. Kevin CHOPS Bryan in the corner and throws haymakers. Bryan bails out so Kevin goes back to Ali.

Kevin CHOPS Ali, and again. He whips Ali corner to corner, but Ali goes up and over. Things speed up again and Ali hits a flapjack dropkick. Cover, but Bryan breaks it. Bryan drags Ali up to give him No Kicks against the ropes. Fans still chant “Kofi! Kofi!” as Bryan whips. Ali holds ropes and dumps Bryan out but Kevin rolls Ali. TWO, and Kevin CHOPS Ali again. Kevin whips Ali but Ali dodges to DIVE onto Bryan! Ali runs back in to shoulder and slingshot, but Kevin shoves him down! Kevin takes aim from the apron and cannonballs! He takes out Ali, but then goes at Bryan! Cannonball into barriers! “Who’s the man now?!” Kevin puts Bryan in the ring and covers, TWO! Kevin keeps on Bryan with more chops, then a whip. Bryan reverses and gives Kevin a kitchen sink knee.

Cleveland still wants Kofi, but Bryan shakes his head. Bryan sees Ali return but Ali punches him first. Ali roundhouses Kevin then climbs up. Bryan dropkicks Ali off the top and to the floor! Fans are in shock, and boo Bryan as he soaks up the heat. Bryan goes to Kevin but Kevin fights back. Bryan stomps Kevin at the ropes, then puts him in a corner. He chops and kicks Kevin over and over, then focuses on the No Kicks! Bryan scowls at the fans before dragging Kevin up. Bryan wrenches the arm and brings Kevin to the mat. Kevin endures as Bryan traps the arm in a hammerlock. Bryan grabs the other arm and pulls back from elbows to fingers! Bryan stands on the arms for a torturous cover, TWO!

Kevin escapes to a corner, and CHOPS Bryan back! Kevin chops and haymakers then whips. Bryan goes up and over and keeps moving, to run Kevin over with a leaping lariat! Fans boo as Bryan gloats. Ali returns but Bryan stomps him down. Bryan throws Ali back out, and continues to tell Kevin he doesn’t deserve this match. Bryan gives Kevin more No Kicks, and the buzzsaw! Cover, but Ali breaks it! Bryan drags Ali up for a back suplex. Bryan smirks as he gives Ali the No Kicks. Ali ducks the buzzsaw and shoves! Bryan puts him on the aprno but Ali slingshots for the somersault facebuster! Ali fires up and fires CHOPS on Bryan. He whips Bryan but Bryan reverses. Ali goes up and over but Bryan clobbers him with a clothesline!

Only Rowan is on Bryan’s side as he gives Ali a dropkick. Kevin dodges Bryan to give Ali another cannonball! And another for Bryan! Ali SUPERKICKS Kevin, Kevin SUPERKICKS Ali! Kevin SUPERKICKS Bryan but Ali hops on for a sleeper. Backpack senton onto Bryan! All three men are down but stirring. Bryan gets to one corner and Kevin another. Fans are willing to get behind Kevin as he drags Bryan up for even more CHOPS! Kevin puts Bryan up top, then climbs up to join him. Bryan resists the superplex and he headbutts Kevin down. But Ali springs up and fires off hands on Bryan. Kevin adds on to Electric Chair Ali. Ali slips out to shove Kevin into Bryan, REVERSE-RANA on Kevin! Ali hurries after Bryan, SUPER SPANISH FLY!! But Bryan rolls away!

Ali goes after Kevin in the drop zone and climbs. 0-5-4 FLOPS! Kevin hits the STUNNER!! Cover, but Bryan barely breaks it in time! All three men are down again, but fans are firing up. Kevin drags himself on the ropes but turns around into a chop from Bryan. Kevin throws haymakers, but Bryan kicks back. Bryan misses a kick but denies a stunner, roundhouse! Kevin crawls to one corner and Bryan the other. Bryan aims at Kevin, but runs into a Pop-Up Powerbomb! Cover, TWO!? Kevin can’t believe Bryan survives! Bryan gets to the apron but Kevin’s on him. Bryan resists the bomb to back drop Kevin on the apron! Ali dodges Bryan’s knees to send them into the post! Guillotine catapult! Ali climbs up and aims at Bryan. Ali 450 onto Bryan and the apron!! He crawls while Bryan rolls away. Cover, but Rowan saves Bryan!

Rowan throws the jacket off and gets involved! SUPERKICK from Ali! SUPERKICK from Kevin! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS from them both! Rowan goes down but still on his feet, so Ali huricanranas Rowan into the post. Kevin builds speed, to FLY onto Rowan! But Bryan hits a flying knee on Kevin! Bryan puts Kevin in the ring, then climbs up high. But Ali anchors Bryan’s feet! Bryan fights with Ali on the apron, Ali CHOPS Bryan on the top rope! Ali lines up the shot, climbs up to join Bryan again, but Bryan shoves him away! Ali lands on his feet, dodges the knee, and then hits a SUPER TORNADO DDT! Fans fire up with Ali but he runs into Kevin’s Pop-Up APRON Bomb! Rowan wrecks Kevin! Rowan helps Bryan get up and in!

Bryan covers Ali while Rowan throws Kevin to the timekeeper’s area! Cover, TWO!? Ali still lives?! Bryan is furious and Rowan is shocked. Bryan drags Ali up and again says he doesn’t deserve to be in the match. He SLAPS Ali around each time, but Ali SLAPS back! Ali fires hands but Bryan shoves. Ali elbows Bryan away, hops up, but leaps into the KNEE PLUS!! Cover, Bryan wins!

Winner: Daniel Bryan, by pinfall; still WWE Champion

The Planet’s Champion remains the world champion, with a big help from Big Red. Will Bryan continue to represent Earth while shouting his rhetoric? Who will be his Wrestlemania opponent?

But things aren’t done here. Rowan palms and slams Ali to the mat! The message has been sent, but who will have a retort?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Becky Lynch!

This is not the first time The Queen and The Man have fought each other, and it surely won’t be the last. But this is the most important time these two have faced each other. Becky won the Women’s Royal Rumble, but Vince McMahon took that right from her. Becky raised Hell to get what she deserves, but got suspended and arrested. But now she has one last chance to make it to Wrestlemania. All she has to do is win, and the Raw Women’s Championship match with Ronda Rousey goes from 1v1 to a Triple Threat! Can the Lass Kicker overcome the stacked deck to take back what’s rightfully hers?

Charlotte mocks Becky hobbling out to the ring with the crutch. She offers to help Becky into the ring but Becky refuses. Becky doesn’t let her bad leg affect her confidence but it only makes Charlotte the more assured she has this. Especially seeing Becky struggle to take her jacket off with her bad arm. The bell rings, but the ref lets Becky know she’s gotta put the crutch aside. Becky tosses it away while Charlotte points at the Wrestlemania sign. They circle and Charlotte mocks the one leg hopping. Charlotte shoves Becky around but Becky hits back with furious haymakers! Charlotte shoves Becky again but Becky eggs Charlotte on. They tie up and Charlotte puts Becky in a corner. Charlotte goes after the bad leg but lets go at 4.

Charlotte mocks Becky’s punches but Becky comes back with more! But Charlotte hits back with the CHOPS! Charlotte kicks the bad leg and then kicks Becky to a corner. Becky takes swings but Charlotte still toys with her. Charlotte grins and the brawl continues. Charlotte wraps Becky’s bad leg against the ropes, but Becky hits back with her good leg. Becky boots and leaps for a Thesz Press! She rains down rights but Charlotte gets Becky off. Charlotte elbows the knee but Becky enziguris. Charlotte ducks it to put the bad leg in a Half Crab! Fans boo and Becky endures as Charlotte pulls back deep! Charlotte digs an elbow in, too, but fans rally for Becky. Becky turns things over and kicks away with her good leg. But Charlotte again cranks the bad leg and turns Becky over for the Crab.

Becky endures and kicks Charlotte off her. Becky gets to a corner and now Charlotte gets annoyed. Charlotte walks over but Becky tosses her out. Charlotte lands on her feet and takes the bad leg to throw into the apron! And again! Becky kicks her back! Becky hobbles as Charlotte returns. Charlotte chop blocks the leg from the front! Charlotte grins as she points at the Wrestlemania sign. Becky kicks, but Charlotte turns it into a Dragon Screw. Charlotte runs in but into an elbow. She deflects the boots to elbow Becky back. Charlotte puts Becky’s bad leg on the ropes to drop a knee on it! Becky limps to a corner but Charlotte’s on her again with CHOPS! Charlotte CHOPS again and again and again, but stops at the ref’s count of 4.

Charlotte puts the leg on the ropes again, but Becky dodges the knee drop! Becky kicks back, but Charlotte chop blocks again! Charlotte toys with Becky and Becky throws body shots. Charlotte drags Becky up but to a cradle! TWO, and Charlotte throws Becky with an exploder! Becky rolls out while Charlotte kips up. Charlotte struts then fetches Becky. Charlotte throws Becky sideways into barriers! The Queen mocks the fans who cheer for The Man, then puts Becky back in. Charlotte drags Becky to a drop zone then steps on Becky’s face! Becky kicks back but Charlotte kicks her down. Charlotte climbs but Becky shoves her down! Charlotte crashes into barriers!

Becky leaves her out there as the ring count climbs. The count passes 5 before Charlotte stands up. Charlotte gets in at 7, but Becky’s on her with a Disarm-Her! Charlotte rolls through and gets the Figure Four! Becky endures but here comes RONDA!! Ronda attacks Becky!!

Winner: Becky Lynch, by disqualification; joins the Raw Women’s Championship match at Wrestlemania

The Baddest Woman actually helps out Becky Lynch, because that’s the fight she’s wanted all along. The Queen is furious, but The Man’s actually okay with that. Ronda points at the Wrestlemania sign, and all three will meet again. Who comes away with the title after such a star-studded match?

 

Ladies and Gentlemen, Elias, yet again.

The Drifter does come out for a third time, but fans aren’t so sure they want to see him right now. Elias still plays his guitar and sings. “Becky Lynch won, so I guess that makes her The Man. Everyone seems to love her, but honestly I’m not a fan.” Becky’s 15 minutes are almost up, and he’ll be glad to see them go. She’s so destined for failure, it’s surprising she wasn’t born in Ohio. Elias says it’s time for the main event, and the reunion of The Shield. But honestly, Elias has no faith in them, like every time the Browns take the field.

Elias finishes, but takes offense at the boos. But he’s just happy he never got interrupted once tonight. The reason for that is obvious: everyone agrees that Cleveland is the worst city to go to this close to Wrestlemania. This is his final performance, good night, and he loves none of you. But then, Lacey Evans makes her presence known! The Sassy Southern Belle struts down the ramp like always, then struts back up. Because Randy Orton gets Elias!! The Viper will strike any time, anywhere! But AJ Styles hits a Phenomenal Forearm on Orton! Styles found the time and place to deal with Orton, and took him down! Are these two through with each other? Or are they going to have more to say at Wrestlemania?

 

Six Man Tag: The Shield VS Baron Corbin, Drew McIntyre & Bobby Lashley!

The Lone Wolf isn’t alone anymore, as he’s been teaming with the Scottish Terminator and Rocky Mountain Machine over and over to assert dominance over Raw. But along the way, they made the mistake of making light of the meanest, toughest and most dominant trio in a long, long time. Will Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins & Dean Ambrose make the most of this #OneLastTime? Or is it going to be the last time for another reason?

Corbin’s pack makes their entrance as always, one at a time. But The Shield brings back the Shield entrance! They come down the stairs among the WWE Universe for what could truly be one last time. The Shield hops up on the apron and enter the ring. They and Corbin’s pack stare down while the referee does his best to keep the peace. And the fight is on! All six men brawl, and Ambrose throws out McIntyre while Rollins throws out Lashley and Roman throws out Corbin. Corbin regroups with McIntyre and Lashley while fans are fired up for The Shield. Things calm down and teams sort out. The bell rings and Rollins starts against Lashley.

Lashley clubs away on Rollins then tackles him to an open corner! He rams his shoulder in again and again, then runs corner to corner. Rollins hits back, runs but Lashley follows. Rollins dodges to slingblade Lashley down! The Architect brings Lashley up but Lashley puts Rollins in the corner. Corbin tags in to bump Rollins off buckles. Corbin runs into a boot, and then the buckle shot! Rollins brings Corbin over and tags Ambrose. Snapmare leads to sliding lariat and knee drop, topped off with an elbow drop. Cover, ONE! Corbin uppercuts Ambrose and tags in McIntyre. McIntyre chops Ambrose then whips him, only for Ambrose to throw him down by his hair. Ambrose puts Mcintyre in the corner, tag to Rollins and tag to Roman.

Ambrose is a step stool for Rollins’ forearm smash, and Rollins feeds McIntyre to Roman’s leaping lariat! Cover, TWO! McIntyre bails out and regroups with the pack. Fans fire up while The Shield give props to Roman’s lack of rust. McIntyre returns and stares down Roman. Roman and McIntyre circle and McIntyre kicks and clubs Roman down. McIntyre puts Roman in a corner and stomps away. McIntyre whips Roman corner to corner but Roman elbows back. Roman uppercuts and tags Rollins. They double whip and double shoulder McIntyre, to then split the wishbone! Rollins CHOPS McIntyre in the corner, then again. He whips McIntyre but McIntyre reverses, and McIntyre kicks Rollins down as he goes up and over!

Rollins bails out but Corbin clobbers him while the ref is distracted. McIntyre tags Lashley and Lashley rams Rollins into barriers! And again! Lashley refreshes the count and drags Rollins into the ring. Lashley covers, TWO! Rollins reaches but Lashley drags him up and to the corner. Tag to Corbin and Corbin throws body shots. Corbin punches Rollins down but Rollins punches back. Corbin shoves Rollins to run him over with an elbow! He puts Rollins in a half nelson chinbar and holds on tight. Fans rally for Rollins as he endures. Rollins gets up but Corbin knees low. Corbin drags Rollins up but Rollins lands on his feet! Rollins Peles! Both Rollins and Corbin are down, but McIntyre tags in. McIntyre blasts Roman but Rollins counters the bomb with a huricanrana! McIntyre whips Rollins away from Ambrose but Rollins kicks back! Hot tag to Ambrose!

The Lunatic rallies on the pack! Ambrose throws lariats on McIntyre, but McIntyre catches the crossbody. Ambrose pops out to roll up, TWO! McIntyre swings but it’s Ambrose who clotheslines him out. Ambrose climbs up high and LEAPS for a Lunatic Elbow! McIntyre is sent into barriers but Ambrose drags him back in. Corbin trips Ambrose but Ambrose punches him down. Lashley SPEARS Ambrose behind the referee’s back! Cover, but Roman breaks it! Lashley throws Roman into barriers but Rollins fights back. Lashley and Corbin toss Rollins into barriers and into the fans! McIntyre aims at Ambrose, CLAYMORE! But Ambrose rolls all the way out!

McIntyre demands a ring count begin immediately, and it does. The count passes 5 before Ambrose sits up. Rollins is down in the front row and Roman is crawling, but Ambrose gets in at 9! McIntyre rains down rights on Ambrose then drags him over. Tag to Corbin and McIntyre sits Ambrose up for Corbin’s stomps. Corbin drags Ambrose up to punch him right back down. Tag to Lashley, and he runs to ram his shoulder in. Cover, TWO! Lashley wrenches Ambrose’s neck but Ambrose endures. Fans rally and Ambrose reaches for The Shield’s corner. Ambrose fights up, but runs into a Complete Shot! Cover, TWO! Lashley taunts Roman but Rollins has also returned. Lashley tags McIntyre so they can mug Ambrose more. McIntyre deadlift suplexes Ambrose and covers, TWO!

McIntyre stomps Ambrose’s hand then dares him to keep fighting. He drags Ambrose up for another suplex, but Ambrose counters to a suplex of his own! Fans rally and Ambrose boots McIntyre. McIntyre tags to Lashley while Ambrose climbs. Lashley is on Ambrose quick, but Ambrose resists the superplex. Ambrose forearms and headbutts Lashley down, to leap over Lashley and get a neckbreaker! Both Ambrose and Lashley are down but crawling for their corners. Fans fire up, hot tag to McIntyre. McIntyre whips, but Ambrose rebounds for the Lunatic Lariat! Fans rally again, hot tags to Corbin and Roman! Roman rallies on Corbin! Corbin reverses the whip but gets the leaping lariat! Roman rocks Lashley and McIntyre, then boots Corbin down!

Fans fire up with The Big Dog as he takes aim, Drive-By Dropkick for Corbin! Cover, but McIntyre breaks it. Rollins springboards to clothesline McIntyre! Lashley grabs Rollins, but Ambrose bails him out. Ambrose and Rollins each kick Lashley, then each dropkick him! They both build speed, and DOUBLE DIVE! They take out McIntyre and Lashley, and Roman clotheslines Corbin out. Roman builds speed into DEEP SIX! Cover, TWO!! Corbin can’t believe it! Rollins throws McIntyre to the timekeeper’s area but Lashley does the same to Rollins. Ambrose runs on the announce desks to LEAP onto them all! Those four are all down, leaving Corbin and Roman alone in the ring.

Corbin drags Roman up but gets an uppercut! They brawl with big rights back and forth. They hit harder and harder, but Corbin knees low. Corbin runs, but into a fireman’s carry! He slips out to send Roman into the post! Roll-up, TWO! Choke Slam! Cover, TWO!! Roman survives while the brawling continues in the crowd! Lashley, McIntyre, Rollins and Ambrose move all the way to the back corner of the arena! They’re in the kickoff show’s set! Ambrose rains rights on McIntyre while Lashley bumps Rollins off a trunk. Back in the ring, Corbin has Roman on the top rope. Corbin climbs up but Roman resists the superplex. Roman fights Corbin off while McIntyre and Lashley turn things around on Ambrose.

Roman fights Corbin off with headbutts while Ambrose fights the others off with haymakers. The Big Dog slips under, SIT-OUT BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Lashley and McIntyre put Ambrose on the kickoff panel desk, but Rollins is going somewhere higher? Ambrose leaps but is caught, so Rollins LEAPS onto them all!! They’re all down again! But Rollins and Ambrose rise from the wreckage! Roman is in the corner, he locks and loads, and says he’s got something for Corbin’s “b*tch ass.” Corbin catches the Superman Punch and puts Roman in the corner. Roman goes to boot but Corbin just slides under it. Corbin comes back, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Cover, TWO! But we all know Roman isn’t done here.

Rollins and Ambrose return as Roman takes aim. But McIntyre and Lashley return to throw them down! Roman SUPERMAN Punches each of them! END OF DAYS!! Cover, but The Shield breaks it in time! Cleveland knows “This is Awesome!” as The Shield keeps each other alive. Corbin stomps and punches Rollins and Ambrose in turn, then goes back to Roman. Corbin dumps Roman out and coordinates with his pack. They clear off an announce desk and drag Roman over. It’s clear what they want to do, and McIntyre takes Roman’s role. But Ambrose and Rollins intercept! The brawl is back on, but Lashley goes to slam Rollins. Roman SUPERMAN Punches Lashley, and Rollins Curb Stomps Lashley into the desk! Rollins leaps over Corbin for Roman to SPEAR him! The Shield then goes after McIntyre, as the rabid Hounds of Justice of old!

And now fans know The Shield will do it themselves! They drag McIntyre up, “OOAH!!” SHIELD TRIPLE POWERBOMB through the announce desk!! Fans want “One More Time!” and there is another announce desk to use… Corbin is still moving, so he becomes The Shield’s prey. The Shield flanks the ring while fans chant “This is Awesome!” Corbin realizes the trouble he’s in, but there’s no running from this! SUPERKICK from Rollins, SUPERMAN PUNCH from Roman, Dirty Deeds from Ambrose! Fans are thunderous because they’re getting “One LAST Time!” They haul Corbin up, “OOAH!!” SHIELD TRIPLE BOMB! Cover, The Shield wins!

Winners: The Shield, Roman Reigns pinning

The end of an era, and the Shield hugs to celebrate. This one last ride was victorious, but is it really the last time? Is Ambrose really serious about not renewing his contract? Will Roman make an even bigger comeback in the months to follow? Will Rollins #SlayTheBeast? All we know is, the Shield is together with one last fist bump.

 


 

My Thoughts:

Well this was a rather wild Fastlane. Oddly enough, we don’t get two Kickoff matches because one becomes a main show match. It was for the best that Mysterio VS Almas didn’t happen in the Kickoff, their feud needs proper spotlight for a blow-off. Then the WWE United States Championship Fatal 4 Way rematch was amazing, and it’s natural for Samoa Joe to retain. I’m still hoping Joe VS Cena happens at Mania, those two never got to have their program because of Joe injured his foot at that time. The New Day VS Nakamura & Rusev was surprisingly good for a Kickoff match, and I’m hoping for a rematch down the line. In fact, it sounds like there might be tie-in to Kofi’s story to Wrestlemania, since Nakamura & Rusev attacked The New Day while Kofi was put in that Handicap Match.

In kayfabe, Kofi Kingston got done dirty by Vince McMahon using semantics to trick him. There is now heat on The Bar, Nakamura & Rusev as well as Vince. But in reality, we know this is just saving Kofi for the world title at Wrestlemania. And in both, this benefits Mustafa Ali, because he finally gets to shine in a world title match. The Triple Threat we got was great, Ali was incredible. But naturally, Bryan finds a way to win to also keep things goings towards Bryan VS Kofi. This story is taking a great dynamic. Bryan claims to be a “new” Daniel Bryan, when really, it’s Kofi. And by that, I mean the guy who fans love but the company “doesn’t”, and so the company does whatever they can to make Kofi miserable. And just like Bryan did at WM30, Kofi will overcome and be the champion.

The SmackDown Tag Team Championships match was great, but the one part I didn’t see coming was Shane turning on Miz! Though, Miz couldn’t really turn in his hometown. Keeping Miz the Face is a great move, and surely means Miz will win their grudge match at Mania. The SmackDown Women’s Championship match was only okay, but the twist of Sonya’s cheating screwing Mandy was a good move. There’s new tension between them, and then throw in EC3’s strange flirting, there might be something that could actually be interesting for Fire & Desire heading for Mania. The Raw Tag Team Championships match was also great, but I got scared when Ricochet and Dawson did that Super Steiner onto the group. It almost didn’t work out. I knew the Revival would retain, but I’m thinking the Dusty Rhodes Tag Classic should be Aleister’s & Ricochet’s focus (in kayfabe).

The WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship match was good but also kinda short. Bayley & Banks win to stay strong, because there’s still SmackDown and NXT to compete on. Nia and Tamina going after Beth Phoenix and bringing out Natty means at least a women’s tag grudge match of Samoan Dynasty VS Natty & Beth. At most, it means Natty & Beth are the “legends” team in the possible multi-team match for the titles. The IIconics are surely the SmackDown team, and who knows how they’ll handle NXT being in on these belts. I’m just hoping that if it’s any team, is The Sky Pirates. But the prospect of Beth getting #OneLastMatch is rather interesting. Better than how WWE handled the finish to Flair VS Lynch tonight.

How is Becky supposed to feel like a conquering underdog if Ronda basically hands her a spot in the match? Or is a promo going to explain that’s to counter Charlotte being handed her spot in this? I can see Ronda wanting to ensure she gets the match we were supposed to get at Survivor Series, but this didn’t seem like the right way to do it. Ronda also isn’t helping this build with her “Wrestling is scripted” VLOG, but that’s a whole separate can of worms. Also, if they’d kept Ronda out of this, this could’ve been a great main event with a triumphant Becky rather than a weirdly grateful Becky.

But in the context that this is how they went about it, The Shield main event actually worked out. It was nostalgic, it was over the top, and it was a palette cleanser for the funk that the Flair-Lynch-Rousey mess left. Shield wins, naturally, and we close with the Shield Fist Bump here so that Wrestlemania can be about A) Rollins alone conquering The Beast and B) have THE main event be the Raw Women’s Championship, where we finally get Becky Lynch’s triumphant moment.

My Score: 7.9/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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