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Joe Dinan’s AAA Review & Results (4/29/19)

Get caught up on AAA from the past week!

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Joe Dinan checks in with your look at AAA for the week!

Live on Twitch 4/26

Lady Maravilla and Jonathan vs Big Mami and Nino Hamburguesa

Yes, someone named Jonathan. How do you copyright that? Maravilla tempts Nino to begin. As she’s done the last 6 weeks. Maravilla and Mami attack each other. Mami uses her surprising agility. Mami hits a top rope arm drag to the outside and then poses. Nino comes in to a nice pop against Jonathan. Nino hits a take over on Jon and Maravilla. He hits a leg drop on Jonathan. Every time Nino is going to hit Maravilla she begs him not to to distraction. Now they’re doing some double team offense. Mami gets worked over next. Mami dodges attacks and whips Jon and Maravilla in the corner. Nino does a running senton on them. Nino checks on Maravilla. Mami doesn’t like this. Jonathan attacks him but Nino hits a face buster and Mami an elbow drop. They argue some. Maravilla attacks Mami but Mami hits a leg drop then sits on her. Mami is mad and chops Nino. She then does a brnco buster to Maravilla. More issues with Mami and Nino. But they sandwich Jonathan. Then Mami and Nino do middle rope splashes on Jonathan and Maravilla for the win. Nino Hamburguesa and Big Mami pin Jonathan and Maravilla with middle rope splashes.

After the match Nino throws Mami into Jonathan and takes Maravilla to the back.

Winners: Big Mami and Nino Hamburguesa

Taya and Faby Apache vs Chik Tormenta and Luchador Surprise

Yes he is listed as Luchador Surprise. It will be revealed at the end of the match who it is. Faby starts with the surprise and he takes a victory roll wrong so Faby, a pro turns it into a leg lock. Tormenta breaks it up. Taya gets double teamed next. She gets worked over and then Faby gets beat on again. The Surprise and Chik pose to a chorus of boos. Faby dodges an attack and Taya helps make a come back. They double drop kick the Surprise. They perform some double team offense. Faby then accidentally pulls off Surprises mask and its Hijo del Tirantes. Faby and Taya continue offense on him and Tormenta. Tormenta and Taya take each other out and Tirantes and Faby go at it. Faby hits a hurricanrana for a close two. Tirantes hits a face buster but doesn’t pin. Then Faby rolls him up. Then ref stops counting at 2 because Tormenta botched a spot. Tirantes fakes a groin shot. Ref declares him the winner. Now Faby gets laid out post match. Hijo del Tirantes wins via DQ trickery.

Winners: Chik Tormenta and Hijo del Tirantes

Golden Magic vs Hijo Del Vikingo vs Villano III Jr vs Flamita

This is for a shot at Laredo Kid’s Cruiserweight belt. Supposedly. This match starts with everyone exchanging some spots. It’s set up early on where there’s two guys in the ring and two guys on the outside waiting their turn. The chaos will rise I’m sure. Magic head scissors Villano to the outside. Vikingo bounces off of the rope and hits Magic with a hurricanrana. Vikingo hits a dive over the top of the ring post. Villano III then hits a dive. Flamita kids him then does an asai moonsault. Magic hit a moonsault off of the post. Magic does a styles clash on Villano onto Vikingo. Villano does a springboard elbow to Magic and Flamita. Villano gives Flamita and Magic the finger but then he gets double super kicked. Flamita hits a standing Spanish fly on Magic and then Villano spears Flamita. Villano uses Vikingo as a weapon and then slams him on Flamita. Vikingo hits a reverseranna on Villano from the top rope. Villano III is clutching his shoulder and they call for medical attention. Flamita helps with calling for it. But he didn’t help by pulling on his arm and dragging him. Everyone stopped working and he went to the back on a stretcher. Gonna assume it’s a shoot. Magic does an asai tornillo dive on Vikingo. He then does a 450 on Flamita. Flamita kicked out. Magic goes for a hurricanrana from the top after but Flamita reverses it into a power bomb for the pin. I guess it’s elimination cause they’re still going. Vikingo runs off Flamita and hits an enziguri. Flamita catches him with a death valley driver for a close two. Vikingo flips out of a muscle buster and hits a springboard shotgun drop kick. He then hits a springboard dive for a two count. Vikingo goes up to the top and Flamita gets knees up on a shooting star, then he hits two tiger drivers and Vikingo somehow kicks out. Now Vikingo hits a 450 and Flamita kicks out. Vikingo hits the double foot stomp in the corner and then the imploder 450 for the win. Hijo del Vikingo pins Flamita with an imploder 450.

Winner: Hijo Del Vikingo

Laredo Kid and Brian Cage vs Taurus and Killer Kross

Laredo Kid and Taurus tie up to begin. They start to exchange moves. Kross comes in against Kid and Kid tries to use his speed but gets caught by Kross’ power. Kross and Cage stare down. They trade counters until Cage hits a power slam. Taurus attacks Cage from behind and hits a senton in the corner. Laredo hits a big moonsault to the outside on Taurus. Kross acts like he’s gonna do a dive but Cage throws him to the outside. Cage hits a dive over the top rope onto the pile. Cage holds up Taurus in power bomb position while Kid hits a leg drop off of the top. Kross keeps taunting Cage who tries to fight back but gets doubled. They go to team up on Laredo Kid for a bit but he makes his own come back hitting a spinning DDT on Kross. Taurus hits a big screw driver attack on Kid then Cage hits a spinning death valley on Taurus. Cage runs wild now getting offense in on Taurus and Kross. Kross fights back and hits an exploder suplex. Cage hits a spinning elbow on Kross and goes for a dive but Taurus spears him. Taurus goes to the top and Kid kicks him. He then dives off on Kross then runs back into the ring to go for the Laredo Fly but Taurus reverses it and hits a sit out neck breaker of some sort. Taurus pins Laredo Kid with a sit out neck breaker.

Poder del Norte come out to beat on Laredo Kid but Hijo Del Vikingo makes the save. I believe Mocho Cota Jr wants those trios titles back. Kid is saying I guess we’ll face you now but Norte decides against it.

Winners: Taurus and Killer Kross

Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana vs Sammy Guevara (Daga), Jack Evans, and Australian Suicide

And look at that Poder Del Norte is back out. Suicide gets offense in on Carta Brava. Jack Evans comes in against Mocho and they go back and forth. Santana flips Daga to the outside and goes for a dive but he slides out while Daga slides in and then Daga hits Santana with a middle rope dive. Poder del Norte gets beat on on the outside. This is such a weird dynamic. Both teams are rudos. Now Poder is getting the advantage. Poder del Norte introduces a chair and that’s not a DQ because AAA. Cota and Daga go back and forth in the ring. Daga hits a big striking flurry. Daga hits a gut wrench suplex but Santana breaks up the pin. Santana hits a back stabber on Daga and Suicide breaks it up. Jack Evans hits a phoenix splash on Brava and Cota breaks up the pin. Cota hit a Spanish fly on Evans and then something else happened off camera and all of Poder del Norte had pins but everyone kicked out. Daga gets taken out with a triple team move. Evans tries to fight them off and is successful in the beginning until he gets dumped out on Daga. Suicide fights some off and hits a sunset flip on Cota for a two count. Suicide gets crotched on the top rope and hit with consecutive corner offense. Santana hits a frog splash on Suicide for the win. Tito Santana pins Australian Suicide with a frog splash.

Winners: Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana

Psycho Clown, La Parka, and Puma King vs Rey Escorpion, Texano Jr, and Chessman

Finally after a lot of posturing to the audience Puma and Chessman start off fighting for the advantage. Puma hits a super kick and it breaks down into a brawl. It is a AAA main event after all. Rey Escorpion starts to rip Psycho Clown’s mask. Texano brings his bull rope into the ring. What are rules? Nobody knows. The Mercenaries and Chessman are now teaming up on everyone. Parka hits an arm drag on Texano and Escorpion then Clown and Puma hit dives to the outside. Konnan is on commentary and he yells and peaks the mic. Taurus comes out and spears La Parka. Laredo Kid comes out and shotgun drop kicks Taurus then hits a missile middle rope dive. Now Poder del Norte is out to beat up Laredo Kid. Vikingo comes out to answer that. Now Puma and Clown are being beat on again. Now Murder Clown comes out and cleans house and does an over the top rope dive. Now Psycho is whipping people with the belt. They hit a bunch of offense on Chessman. They hit the Los Guerrero’s triple team spot on Texano. Escorpion just runs in to change the odds. La Parka is getting stretchered out because he always does. Clown hits a power slam on Escorpion and Texano goes to hit him with the rope but Clown moves. Psycho Clown hits a hurricanrana to the outside on Chessman. Psycho is cleaning house. He hits a flip dive on Escorpion. Puma King enters and hits a hurricanrana on Texano and an arm drag on Chessman. Murder Clown hits a press slam on Texano. Murder Clown hits a 619 then does the fusion dance with Puma King. Murder Clown then does a dive to the outside. Killer Kross comes out to attack Puma. Kross power bombs Puma through the table nicely set up. Escorpion hits a power bomb for a two count on Clown. Rey argues with the ref and Clown makes them kiss and then he hits a sunset flip on Escorpion for the win. Psycho Clown pins Escorpion with a sunset flip.

Psycho Clown celebrates with Puma and Murder in the ring. Kross just stands on the outside. Puma King in English says in English that Kross knows what the Puto chant means. Puma King wants a one on one match but Texano attacks him and now the beat down is on. All the masks get removed. Apparently Taurus is a Mercenarios. Hopefully Hiedra is still too.

Winners: Psycho Clown, La Parka, and Puma King

Live on Twitch 4/28

Faby Apache vs La Hiedra vs Lady Maravilla vs Chik Tormenta

Shani comes out and announces the winner will face her. Hiedra slaps her though and things are getting crazy. Maravilla starts with Tormenta. Hiedra and Faby drop kick Maravilla and Tormenta and then go at it. Faby hits a hurricanrana and rolls into a leg lock. Maravilla and Tormenta work together to take out Hiedra. Hiedra fights back and then works on Maravilla. Faby joins in the fun. Faby hits a slam and Hiedra drop kicks Maravilla in the butt. Hiedra hits a big back breaker on Tormenta for a two count that she can’t believe. Faby gets Tormenta in a nice pinning combo for a two count. Tormenta slams Hiedra on the apron and then Maravilla does a cross body on Tormenta. Maravilla pulls Faby off of the apron and hits her on the post. In the ring Tormenta gets Maravilla in a torture rack that she rolls into a victory roll for a two count. Tormenta runs up the ropes and hits a drop kick followed by a tiger bomb and then a styles clash for the win. Chik Tormenta pins Lady Maravilla with a Styles Clash.

Winner: Chik Tormenta

Sammy Guevara (Taurus) vs Jack Evans vs Australian Suicide vs Villano III Jr

They all gang up on Taurus to start. Once he’s taken out the other three trade spots and counters. Villano has Suicide in electric chair position. He throws Suicide at Taurus who power bombs him. Evans comes and hits a spinning kick on Taurus. Taurus holds up Suicide and almost catches a diving Jack Evans too. But Villano dives on the pile making all parties involved fall. Villano and Taurus have a nice back and forth. Suicide does a 450 into a hurricanrana on Taurus for a close two. Suicide hits a big tornillo dive on Villano and then Evans kicks Suicide. Taurus senton dives into both men. Villano tries to reverseranna Taurus but it fails. Then Suicide does it to Villano with more success. Then spots are traded between all men. Taurus hits a shoulder breaker on Evans and then a spinning clothesline against Suicide. Villano goes to the top but Evans runs up and suplexes him off and then hits a phoenix splash for a two count. He then goes up and hits a 630 for the win. Jack Evans pins Villano III with a 630.

Winner: Jack Evans

Hijo Del Vikingo, Flamita, and Villano III Jr (Golden Magic) vs Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana

The match starts with Poder del Norte beating up Flamita. Flamita fights back hitting a hurricanrana and drop kick to the outside on Carta Brava. Magic comes in on fire too, dodging Norte’s team up efforts. Magic hits a standing moonsault on Santana and rolls into an arm drag on Brava. Vikingo comes in with Cota but Vikingo uses his quickness to his advantage. He continues to use his agility to his advantage hitting a big head scissors on Santana. Vikingo goes for a dive but they don’t show it. Nobody was next to him so I’m gonna guess he missed. Now Norte is attacking them with chairs. What are rules. Flamita gets smashed with a chair and then Magic gets teamed on. Vikingo gets crotched on the post and kicks to the outside. They do some silly triple team submission where Brava stood on Flamita and Magic’s back. VIkingo hit a hurricanrana on Brava. Vikingo and Magic then hit two high velocity dives. Flamita hits a standing spanish fly but Cota is there to break it up. He then belly to belly throws Flamita into the corner. Vikingo catches Cota and hits a swinging slam followed by a springboard splash but Santana breaks up the pin with a chair. Magic hits a guillotine leg drop on Santana but Brava is there to break it up. Magic hits a step up moonsault and Brava gets the feet up. Magic hits a cross body off of the top rope to the outside. Vikingo and Flamita perform asai moonsaults but they miss and then get pushed into the barricade. Santana hits a running attack in the corner on Magic and then Cota hits a frog splash for the win. Mocho Cota Jr pins Golden Magic with a frog splash.

Winners: Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana

Puma King vs Killer Kross

Puma comes out attacking Kross but Kross no sells. Part of the gimmick. Puma hits multiple drop kicks and then hits a cross body to the outside. Puma hits Kross with a chair with little effect. Kross choke slams Puma King. Kross works over Puma’s foot. Kross is now manhandling Puma now. Kross is clubbing Puma King now. Kross puts a chair in front of Puma and elbows it. Puma fires up a come back hitting multiple strikes on Kross. Puma places a chair in front of Kross’ groin and strikes it with another chair. Puma hits a code breaker off of the top and then roles into a pinning combo. Kross throws Puma into the turnbuckle then hits a big boot followed by a leg drop. Kross goes to the top rope for some reason. Puma meets him up there. Kross punches him off balanced but Puma recovers and flips him off. He gets a rolling pinning combo but Kross kicks out at the last second. Puma sets up a table now. Kross dodges and kicks Puma in the groin then slams him on the now slanted table. It does not break. Kross must break this table. This time Kross last rides Puma on to the table. Then Kross pins him like the Undertaker. Killer Kross pins Puma King with a power bomb through a table.

Puma King is on a stretch now. Kross drags him off and back into the ring to power bomb him again.

Winner: Killer Kross

La Parka, Golden Magic (Murder Clown), and Nino Hamburguesa vs Chessman, Averno, and Dave the Clown

The two OGTs try to work over Murder Clown. La Parka throws Dave out to start. Murder Clown clotheslines the two to the outside. La Parka and Dave the Clown square off in the ring now. Parka hits a few arm drags and a hurricanrana and throws Chessman to the outside then dances. Nino comes in and he makes the two OGTs look like fools. Maravilla comes out now to distract him looking nice in street clothes. But then Dave attacks him with the chair. They put Nino’s shirt over his head and beat him up. The Clown and OGTs literally beat up on these guys for minutes straight. I don’t know if there’s an end in sight. The OGTs get pulled to the outside and then Hamburguesa bumps Clown to the outside before hitting a middle rope dive. La Parka then hits a middle rope dive on Averno. Murder Clown hits a big diskus clothesline on Dave the Clown. Murder takes on Dave and then hits a monkey flip on Averno. He then press slams him. Murder hits an elbow drop then Chessman attacks him. Nino comes in to save Murder Clown. Chessman goes to body slam Nino but Nino falls on him then hits a splash. Dave breaks it up. Parka hits a running knee attack on Dave. Parka hits a ddt flatliner combo on Averno and Dave. Parka catches Chessman for a power bomb and Nino and Murder roll up the other two for two counts. All three are down in the corner and Nino hits a running senton twice in a row. La Parka is feeling froggy and goes for another dive through the middle rope. Murder hits a 619 on Dave and then hits an over the top dive on the OGTs. Nino then hits a big splash on Dave from the top for the win. Nino Hamburguesa pins Dave the Clown with a top rope splash.

Winners: La Parka, Nino Hamburguesa, and Murder Clown

Psycho Clown, Laredo Kid, and ??? vs Rey Escorpion, Texano Jr, and Taurus

Lucky for me Hiedra is still a Mercenary. So this match starts out as a two on three. They insult each other back and forth on the mic. Hiedra slaps Psycho and now the beat down is on. Escorpion is beating Psycho up in the crowd. They’re trying to hang Laredo Kid. Taurus spears Clown and Laredo Kid. Hijo Vikingo’s music plays and he runs out like a bat out of hell. Vikingo, Laredo Kid, and Clown hit dives over the top rope. Vikingo is choking Texano and Clown is now getting the upper hand on Escorpion. Hiedra comes in the ring now to try and slap Clown again. Clown goes to hit her but moves and Escorpion hits her and she folds. Laredo and Vikingo shotgun drop kick Escorpion in the corner. Psycho does some running offense and then all three hit running drop kicks. Laredo Kid does a torpedo middle rope dive on Taurus sending him into the crowd. Laredo Kid runs up Texano and arm drags Escorpion. He hurricanrana’s Escorpion into Texano. Kid then super kicks Taurus to the outside and then jumps to the top rope and hits a hurricanrana to the floor on Taurus. After 15 minutes in the ring they go back to normal tag formalities. Texano clothesline Vikingo in half. Hiedra holds Vikingo but he moves and she gets hit with a kick to the butt by Escorpion. Vikingo jumps on the ropes and hits a 450 into a hurricanrana on Taurus. Then he hits a head scissors take over to the outside. Psycho Clown and Escorpion trade offense now. He ties Escorpion in the corner and they kinda botch the double foot stomp. Clown hits a powerslam on Taurus. He moves when Hiedra tries to break it up. Texano then accidentally bull ropes her and Taurus. Clown then hits Texano with the rope and then Clown hits a middle rope dive into an arm drag on Escorpion. Clown brings Texano onto the table and hits a michinoku driver through the table. Vikingo does an over the top rope dive on Taurus. Now Laredo Kid and Escorpion are in the ring. Rey hits a power bomb and Kid kicks out of the fast count. Escorpion isn’t happy with the ref and pushes him. Escorpion misses a lionsault and Kid goes to the top but Rey slaps him and joins him. Kid flips over and hits a running power bomb for the win. Tirantes fast counted presumably because Escorpion pushed him. Laredo Kid pins Rey Escorpion with a running power bomb.

The heels go to beat down the technicos post match and before they take their masks La Parka comes out with a chair. The technicos stand tall for once in this company. La Parka wants a trios match. He then insults them.

Winners: Psycho Clown, Laredo Kid, and Hijo Del Vikingo


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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