It’s the Raw After Wrestlemania! The Architect, The Demon and The Man are all champions once again! But who will have the hardest Post-Mania road ahead?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Raw Tag Team Championships: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins VS The Revival; Ryder & Hawkins win and retain the Raw Tag Team Championships.
• Alexa Bliss VS ???; Bliss wins.
• Ricochet & Aleister Black VS ???; Ricochet & Black win.
• Dean Ambrose’s Farewell Match: Dean Ambrose VS Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush; No Contest.
• WWE Intercontinental Championship: Finn Balor VS Sami Zayn; Finn wins and retains the WWE Intercontinental Championship.
• WWE World Championship & Universal Championship, Winner Takes All: Kofi Kingston VS Seth Rollins; No Contest.
• Seth Rollins & Kofi Kingston VS The Bar; Rollins & Kingston win.

PLAY BY PLAY

Seth Rollins opens Raw!

The Kingslayer is now the BEASTSLAYER! And he is the NEW WWE Universal Champion! Raw takes a quick look back to see how Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar tried to use a scheduling audible to throw Rollins off his game. But of course, Lesnar also tried a pre-match beating unlike anyone’s seen before, too! But Rollins endured, took advantage of the ref going down, and then used multiple Curb Stomps! And in the end, Rollins finally burned Suplex City down!

But in the present, Rollins stands before the New York crowd as they chant “You Deserve It!” He corrects them by saying “WE Deserve It!” Rollins waited a long, long time to be in the ring with that title. All it took was climbing the mountain and beating the most dominant champion in WWE history. Fans say “Thank You, Rollins!” for doing that. Rollins thanks them back and says he actually feels terrible. He still got run over by a truck, and took suplex after suplex to F5. But Rollins always got back up. Rollins took everything Lesnar had to give, and he got back up! Rollins even took a “questionable” tactic to gain an advantage, but truth be told, Rollins didn’t do anything to Lesnar that he wouldn’t have done to Rollins.

Fans chant “Full Time Champ!” knowing Rollins will be here more, but Rollins has some news. Rollins heard Lesnar and Heyman were taking that flight to Vegas for “meetings”. As far as Rollins is concerned, but they can stay in Vegas! Lesnar is no longer the reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Heavyweight Champion, Rollins is! And to do one better, he will be the reigning, defending, fighting, undisputed Universal Champion who everyone in the world can be proud of! Awwwww~ Brooklyn~! Clap for the NEW WWE World Champion, and feel~ the power~! Because yes, The New Day and Kofi Kingston are here! And Kofimania is running wild with the world title around his waist! Kofi and the New Day join Rollins in the ring for a meeting of champions!

“Now Seth, I can see the look on your face right now.” This is confusing, because it’s Monday, not Tuesday. But it is yo bois, The New~ Day~! This isn’t a Superstar Shake-Up, that’s for next week. But for now, the New Day is here early to celebrate! And they couldn’t wait for SmackDown, no. Rollins is WWE Universal Champion by defeating the Beast! Fans boo and Rollins explains they don’t like him. Oh they don’t like Bw-w-w-w-w-w-w-wrock, Lesnar? Not at all. But then Kofi Kingston did the unthinkable! His dream would not be deferred, because he finally won that W, W, E, World, Heavyweight, Championship~! Big E does splits! And after that match, Kofi was hanging out watching that Winner Take All Main Event. That was great for Becky, huh?

So perhaps, how about the NEW Universal Champion and the NEW World Champion have their own WINNER TAKE ALL!? Fans erupt hearing that! Now while The Shield may not be a thing anymore, Kofi will forego The New Day at ringside and these two go 1v1, title for title! Fans already know “This is Awesome!” But Rollins’ answer? “Challenge accepted.” This might be the BIGGEST Post-Mania Raw in history!! Both new champions put up their belts already, who will be the new DOUBLE Champion after tonight!?

Raw Tag Team Championships: Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins VS The Revival!

Speaking of putting titles up right away, The Losing Streak only just ended, but the Major Brothers are willing to give the #TopGuys a rematch without a second thought! Will Ryder & Hawkins retain while still in their home state? Or will Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder #SayYeah to a second reign?

Raw returns as the introductions are made and the belts are raised. The teams sort out and Ryder starts against Dawson. They circle and tie up and Ryder puts Dawson on the ropes. Dawson gets Ryder to the Revival’s corner and tags Dash. Ryder gets away and the Revival have to back down. Dash circles with Ryder and ties up. Dash gets the headlock but holds on as Ryder tries to power out. Ryder powers out on the second try, but Dash runs him over. Things speed up and Dash kicks Ryder away, only to run into a lariat. Ryder tags Hawkins and the Major Brothers combine for Russian Leg Sweep STO! Cover, TWO! Hawkins wrenches but Dash forearms him down. Dash drags Hawkins up and CHOPS him against the ropes.

Tag to Dawson and Dash feeds Hawkins to Dawson’s knee. Dawson kicks Hawkins then gives him an uppercut. Dawson stomps Hawkins’ hand then mocks the fans. He drags Hawkins up to bump him off buckles. Dawson CHOPS and haymakers Hawkins, then headlock takeovers. Hawkins denies the cover and powers his way up. Fans rally as Hawkins powers out, only to get run over. Things speed up and Hawkins dropkicks Dawson down! Hawkins runs in for a big forearm in the corner. He fires up more as he throws hands. Dash grabs Hawkins but gets a Pele! Ryder tries to help but the ref stops. Hawkins whips but Dawson reverses, and Dash drives a knee into Hawkins’ back. Dawson tags Dash and the Revival combine for  a Hart Attack! Cover, TWO!

The Revival grow frustrated but Ryder and fans rally for Hawkins. But Hawkins is down and in trouble while we go to break.

Raw returns as Dawson keeps Hawkins from Ryder. Dawson whips but gets a big knee from Hawkins! Hawkins and Dawson crawl, hot tag to Dash and Ryder! Ryder facebusts Dash then hits Dawson. He knees Dash away then hops up for a missile dropkick! Dawson runs in but gets a flapjack! And then Dash gets a flapjack, too! Ryder aims from a corner as fans fire up. Broski Boot for Dawson, tag to Hawkins. Broski Boot for Dash, then Hawkins hits a Macho Elbow! Cover, TWO!! The Revival survives but Hawkins keeps his focus. Hawkins drags Dash up but Dash blocks the suplex to give one. Hawkins slips out but his leg jams! He still cradles Dash! TWO!! Dash swings but Hawkins clobbers him with a clothesline! Hawkins drags Dash over and tags Ryder.

The Major Bros double clothesline but Dawson drags Hawkins out! Dash rolls Ryder and uses the ropes! TWO, but Dash clobbers Ryder! Dawson gives Hawkins a Brain Buster! Dawson tags in and the Revival coordinate, torture rack knee drop! Cover, TWO!! Ryder keeps the Major Bros alive and Brooklyn loves it! The Revival can’t believe it, but they stay on Ryder. Fans chant “Woo Woo Woo!” as Ryder resists the suplex. Dash helps Dawson suplex Ryder in but Ryder counters with double neckbreakers! But Dawson held onto ropes, and then rolls Ryder up, TWO! Dawson waistlocks but Hawkins tags in. Dawson hits Hawkins and Ryder gets SHATTER MACHINE! But Hawkins rolls Dawson, Hawkins & Ryder win again!!

Winners: Ryder & Hawkins, Curt Hawkins by pinfall; still Raw Tag Team Champions

The winning streak continues at 2-0! How far can Hawkins & Ryder take this title reign? What will it take for The Revival to get back on top?

Introducing: Baron Corbin!

The ring announcer lists all of The Lone Wolf’s accomplishments, but leaves his defeating Kurt Angle in Angle’s final match for last. Fans boo as Corbin comes out, but Corbin just soaks it all up. Corbin takes a mic and mocks the fans booing him. And he takes their insults as compliments. He heard everyone for weeks whining and complaining about Angle deserving someone more worthy of being a Wrestlemania opponent. But Angle chose Corbin himself, and Corbin showed Angle doesn’t deserve to be in a match with Corbin. Fans also tell Corbin what he should do. “Real classy, New York.” But look! Even with that long list of accomplishments, he’s used to having doubters. Corbin proved he’s better than a gold medalist! And after that victory, Corbin feels like he deserves a medal of his own.

But here comes Kurt Angle! Brooklyn greets Angle with another ovation of “You Suck!” Angle joins Corbin in the ring and fans chant “Thank You, Kurt!” Angle thanks them back then talks to Corbin. He admits Corbin was the better man last night. And Angle’s in-ring career is officially over while Corbin’s is only getting going. So Angle wishes Corbin all the luck in the world, and shakes his hand. He wishes BAD Luck! ANGLE SLAM! Fans fire up as Angle takes off the jacket to give one last Ankle Lock! Corbin taps now despite surviving last night! Corbin crawls out of the ring and Angle lets go. Angle may not have won but he gets the last laugh. Where and when- Wait. Is that… LARS SULLIVAN!?

The Leviathan is finally here! The horror movie monster come to life finally comes to Raw, and goes right into the ring. He stares at Angle and fans aren’t sure what to make of this. Angle isn’t sure, either, but he doesn’t back down. Lars reels Angle in for a FREAK ACCIDENT! Fans boo as Lars looms over a downed Olympic Gold Medalist, but Lars isn’t done. Lars climbs up to the top rope! And LEAPS for a Leviathan Heabutt! Lars glares down at Angle as he roars victoriously. If this was his debut, what will the Mile High Monster do now that he’s on the main roster?

Alexa Bliss VS ???

The Goddess was the host for Wrestlemania, but now she’s back in the ring! She issued this challenge via social media while busy with Mania duties. She wanted one of the Boss & Hug Connection, but who answers the challenge? It’s Bayley! Will the Huggable One get back on a winning track? Or will Alexa shake off that ring rust in one night?

The bell rings and Alexa mocks Bayley losing the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. Bayley rocks Alexa with a right! And bumps her off buckles! Bayley throws rights then flapjacks Alexa off buckles! She throws Alexa to the apron but Alexa trips her up and out. Alexa rocks Bayley back with her own wicked right! Fans cheer as Alexa drags Bayley back in. Alexa clubs away on Bayley and wraps on a chinlock while fans sing for Bayley. Bayley feeds off the energy and fights out of the hold, only for Alexa to clobber her again! Alexa runs in at Bayley in the corner, to SLAP her! Bayley goes reeling but Alexa toys with her on the ropes. Bayley grabs Alexa and powers her to a corner for body shots. She throws in shoulders but Alexa rocks her back down!

Alexa hops up and hits a sunset flip, but Bayley sits on it! Bayley has the ropes so the count doesn’t cuont. She gets up and knees Alexa back into the corner, to sunset flip bomb Alexa into buckles! Cover, ropebreak! Alexa saves herself but Bayley does not let up. Bayley puts Alexa back in but gets a kick for it. Bayley comes back, but gets a DDT! Cover, Alexa wins!

Winner: Alexa Bliss, by pinfall

The Goddess returns and the Goddess succeeds! Alexa has a win after being out of action for weeks, but will this lead her back to a championship?

The Man is on Raw!

Becky Lynch won the historic Women’s Triple Threat Winner Takes All match, and now she’s here wearing one belt while holding up the other! The first ever simultaneous Raw & SmackDown Women’s Champion goes to the ring as Raw relives the events of that historic match. Ronda tried to submit both opponents at once, but Becky and Charlotte bombed her together. Becky took things to the extreme and Charlotte was the one who went through a table. And just as it seemed like Ronda would win, Becky pulled off the shocking surprise pin to make a dream come true. She put the Man in WrestleMania, and now she stands atop the mountain!

Brooklyn gives Becky a standing ovation and Becky reflects on how she used to work at a bar not too far from here. Fans let her know “You Deserve It!” She thanks them and says “We Did It!” Becky can’t help but smile as fans chant her name. She likes the sound of “Becky Two Belts”, too. But for months now, Ronnie and Ric’s daughter were talking about their resumes being too strong for Becky. Olympics this, title reigns that, UFC this, blah blah blah. But when it was all said and done, the woman with nothing to lose walked out with everything they had! Becky knows she’s not the strongest, fastest, most athletic, but she does have a great theme song like what the fans are singing.

And leaving home at just 15 years old, fighting around the world, Becky became a master of survival. She will always persist and overcome to win in the end. And Becky tells Ronnie that whenever she’s done sulking, The Man will be here to slap her around again. As for Charlotte, The McMahons will probably just hand her tag titles so she can get over losing to Becky again. But Becky knows all the women in the WWE have seen what she’s capable of and what’s possible for them. But she’s the Redhead in Leather ready to slap the heads off ya all! Becky holds up both belts with her head held high, ready to redefine what’s going on in the WWE. But before she leaves, the Sassy Southern Belle appears.

Lacey Evans struts down the ramp, and ends up face to face with Becky. She eyes those belts on Becky’s arms, and uses the Woman’s Right to rock the champ! But Becky stays standing, and even grins. Because she goes right after Lacey! The two fight on the ramp and Lacey’s dress starts tearing. But she doesn’t care as she takes it to Becky! But Becky gives it back, too! They brawl up tot he stage and Becky blocks being thrown into the LED’s! Becky goes for the Disarm-Her! But Lacey slips out behind and goes into a tactical retreat. The Model Soldier has Becky’s attention, but will she regret it?

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

People are surprised this Men’s Winner Takes All match is happening. Why is Rollins even doing this? Because Rollins loves a challenge. Rollins lives for the next challenge. Kofi got in the ring and made the challenge like a man, but this is also an attack. SmackDown is their show, Raw is Rollins’. Both men had the biggest wins of their careers but Rollins knows what Kofi is capable of. If Kofi wants to step on Rollins’ show and wants to take his title, then he better be bringing an A+ Game, because that’s what it’ll take. Will Rollins make Kofi regret issuing this challenge? Or will he end up regretting accepting?

Ricochet & Aleister Black VS ???

The Unexpected Duo returns to Raw after coming short of the NXT and SmackDown Tag Team Championships over Wrestlemania Weekend. However, the chase for titles is never over until you’ve won. Will the Dutch Destroyer & King of Flight keep up the hunt in the aftermath?

Raw returns as their opponents, The GLORIOUS Duo, make their entrance. Bobby Roode & Chad Gable said that they tried doing things the right way, but they failed. Now they’ll do things by any means necessary, and it will be Absolutely… GLORIOUS! What will they resort to in order to finally win over Aleister & Ricochet? Or will they simply #FadeToBlack instead?

Aleister and Gable start with the bell. They circle and tie up and Gable waistlocks. Gable wrenches but Aleister reverses. Gable spins through and trips Aleister to a cover, ONE! Aleister drags Gable into an armbar but Gable makes it a cover, TWO, into a cross-leg cover, TWO! Aleister sings a kick but Gable gets under, only for Aleister to roll off his back. Gable stares Aleister down as Aleister sits down. The two stand and Gable throat chops! Gable waistlock throws Aleister to the mat then rear mounts. The two roll around and Gable throws crossface forearms. Roode tags in and Roode stomps Aleister while Gable holds him down. Gable lets go at 4 but Roode keeps stomping. Roode puts Aleister in a corner for a CHOP!

Roode stomps a mudhole into Aleister but backs off, to swing on Ricochet! Ricochet gets clear and Aleister hits back. Aleister whips while Ricochet tags in. Things speed up, kitchen sink to basement dropkick. Gable runs into a kick, and then Aleister leaps for Meteora while Ricochet moonsaults onto Roode! Fans fire up as Ricochet puts Roode in. Ricochet covers, TWO! Ricochet keeps on Roode with an armlock, but Roode endures. Roode knees free of the hold then tags Gable. Ricochet fights out and boots Gable right down! Gable bails out and Ricohet builds speed but Roode dumps him out! The Glorious Duo really are showing they’ll do whatever it takes as we go to break.

Raw returns as Ricochet covers Gable, TWO! Gable keeps Ricochet from Aleister but Ricochet throws forearms. Gable suplexes but Ricochet slips out to forearm again. Ricochet runs but into a belly2belly! Gable blasts Aleister for good measure before he whips Ricochet to the corner. Tag to Roode and Gable whips Ricochet for a body shot. Roode adds the knee lift and clothesline! Cover, TWO! Ricochet lives but Roode grows frustrated. Roode drives his knee into Ricochet’s back then keeps between him and Aleister. Fans rally for Ricochet but Roode tags Gable. The Glorious Duo mug Ricochet, then Gable whips Ricochet back in. Ricochet fights back again then boots Gable away. Somersault shotgun dropkick takes Gable down!

Fans rally up as Gable and Ricochet hot tag to Roode and Aleister! Aleister rallies on Roode, then fires off a strike fest! Sweep to sliding knee! Aleister nips up and fires up, to DOUBLE Quebrada! Cover, TWO! Aleister keeps going but Roode puts him in a corner. Roode runs into a back elbow and Aleister hops up. Roode gets under and rolls Aleister, TWO!! Aleister gets up to fire back with knees and elbows! Buzzsaw! Cover, TWO!! Roode still lives and Aleister can’t believe it. Fans do the wave as Aleister drags Roode up in a waistlock. Roode fights out but Ricochet tags in. Ricochet catches Roode, roundhouse to twisting suplex! Cover, but Gable breaks it! Aleister throws Gable out but Gable drags him out for fast hands.

Ricochet hurries up top but Roode jumps up to meet him! They fight up top but Roode tumbles. Gable shoves Ricochet down! GLORIOUS Spinebuster! Cover, TWO!! Roode is furious but he tags Gable back in. They coordinate and hit the GLORIOUS Combination! Cover, but Aleister breaks it! Roode grabs Aleister but Aleister takes him out of the ring with him! Gable stalks Ricochet and runs in, but Ricochet escapes Chaos Theory for a Code Breaker! Cover, Ricochet & Aleister win!

Winners: Ricochet & Aleister Black, Ricochet pinning

But Roode ruins any celebration with a blindside attack! Fans boo Roode as he and Gable get away. Aleister defends Ricochet, but will they be able to get revenge on the way to tag titles?

Elias chills backstage.

But he can’t chill. Not after what John Cena did to him last night. It was his greatest performance, but it was ruined by Cena’s rap. If that’s even what it is! Elias could do that in his sleep. But it’ll be okay because The McMahons will give Elias plenty of time for his one-man opera. Elias will show no mercy to anyone who decides to interrupt. It could be Mr. McMahon himself, there will be hell to pay.

What’s that box?

And what’s that creature poking its head out?! It laughs, but it doesn’t say a word…

Dean Ambrose’s Farewell Match: Dean Ambrose VS Bobby Lashley w/ Lio Rush!

The Lunatic did not sign a new WWE contract, so this could very well be good-bye forever. Will Ambrose make it a happy good-bye against an angry Rocky Mountain Machine?

Raw returns as Lashley & Lio make their way out on stage. Lio has a mic, but he is at a loss for words. He takes a moment, and even Ambrose is waiting for him to say something, but he stays silent. Lashley and Lio reach the ring and Lashley signals for the mic. “Don’t worry, Dean. When you’re gone, I’ll make sure to take care of your wife for you.” Them’s fighting words! Ambrose rushes Lashley with furious fists! Ambrose throws Lashley around the corner and fires off more hands, then pushes Lashley into the timekeeper’s area! He throws Lashley into chairs, then throws chairs into Lashley! Ambrose keeps on Lashley and throws him into a post! Lio runs in but gets sent into the barriers! Lashley retreats up the ramp but Ambrose clobbers him from behind!

Ambrose continues to throw hands but this is not a match anymore. Lashley clubs Ambrose but Ambrose throws him into the LED walls. Ambrose gives Lashley a DDT on the stage! Ambrose gets up and storms over to commentary. He clears off the desk and commentary moves away. Lio returns but his attack does nothing! Lio runs away, but Lashley SPEARS Ambrose! Lashley hauls Ambrose up for haymakers while fans jeer, but Lashley CHOKE SLAMS Ambrose through the desk!! Referees hurry to check on Ambrose while Lashley & Lio leave. Renee Young is there by her husband’s side, but is this really how Ambrose is going to leave the WWE? If so, fans chant “Thank You, Ambrose!” for all he’s done.

No Contest

Sami Zayn is in the building!

He’s back from recovering those two damaged shoulders, but what will he do his first night back?

Mojo Rawley talks to himself again.

Where was he on Wrestlemania night?! Mojo has become even more shattered now that he sports new face paint. He’s found himself, but what will he do to redeem himself?

Sami Zayn heads to the ring!

The Underdog from the Underdog still has fans singing along with his song, even after being gone for so long. He picks up a mic as fans sing “Ole~ ole ole ole~” for him. “Well hello.” Sami knows he was gone for some time so he reintroduces himself. And if you’re gonna miss Wrestlemania, you might as well come back the night after. Sami knows this is hard to believe, but his schedule is wide open. And he could really go for a match right about now. Any takers? Sami waits for someone to accept this open challenge, but it doesn’t seem like- Wait, there’s one! It’s Finn Balor!

The NEW Intercontinental Champion heads to the ring with belt around his waist. Finn joins Sami in the ring and a referee is here, so we have our match! Wait, Finn raises the stakes on Sami!

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Finn Balor VS Sami Zayn!

Sami wanted to come back but he probably didn’t expect a name this big. Will his return be golden? Or will Finn still be just Too Sweet?

Raw returns with the bell and Sami circles with Finn. They tie up and go around, Finn gets Sami on ropes. Finn lets up at 3 and circles with Sami again. Fans sing for Sami as he ties up with Finn again. Finn puts Sami in a corner but Sami turns it around. Sami lets up at 4 and gives Finn teasing pats on the chest. Finn and Sami circle again and Finn wrenches Sami to the mat. Sami gets back up and spins through to a wrench of his own. He gets Finn on the mat but Finn gets up and works against the hold. Fans rally both ways as Finn rolls and works on a reversal. Sami denies with a twist of the wrist, and grinds a knee into Finn’s chin.

Finn nips up and wrenches to an arm-drag but Sami headscissors. Finn pops out, the two stand off and fans applaud. Sami and Finn circle as fans duel. The two tie up again but then separate. They come back and tie up, and Sami waistlocks. Finn pries out to a standing switch but Sami rolls to the mat. Sami switches but Finn switches but Sami arm-drags. Finn arm-drags then tosses Sami out. Sami gets back in and throws Finn out. Sami builds speed but fakes Finn out! And even pop-locks! Fans applaud but Finn keeps his cool as he returns. Finn and Sami circle again and tie up. Sami waistlocks to a headlock but holds on as Finn tries to power out. Finn gets it on the second try and things speed up, Finn dropkicks Sami hard! Cover, TWO! Finn keeps on Sami with an armlock, but Sami endures.

Fans rally up and Sami powers his way up, only for Finn to arm-drag him again. Finn goes after the arm from wrist to shoulder to target the joints. Sami powers his way back up and powers Finn to ropes. They break at 4 but Sami CHOPS Finn then fires off clubbing forearms! Sami CHOPS Finn back and again! He throws hands then whips. Finn reverses but Sami sunset flips, only for Finn to roll through and dropkick! Finn trips Sami for double stomps! Sami staggers to a corner but Finn CHOPS him again! Finn CHOPS Sami in another corner, then whips him corner to corner. Sami boots Finn away to chop him and go acrobatic. Finn denies that and now they brawl with forearms and chops. Sami forearms Finn but Finn PELES back! Both men are down and we go to break!

Raw returns and Finn dumps Sami out of the ring! Finn puts Sami back in quick but Sami denies the slingblade. Finn also denies the Blue Thunder, but he gets reeled into it anyway! Cover, TWO!! Sami was so close yet so far from a golden return! Finn and Sami slowly stand and get to corners. Sami aims at Finn and runs in, but into a slingblade! Finn shotgun dropkicks Sami down! Finn climbs up and aims, Coup de Grace misses! Roll up, TWO!! Finn runs into an exploder into buckles! Sami goes back to the other side, and runs back in, but the Helluva Kick misses! Finn’s up fast, COUP DE GRACE!! Cover, Finn wins!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall; still WWE Intercontinental Champion

Sami’s return was great, but it wasn’t extraordinary. Finn wins as the Extraordinary Man, but will he be able to keep the belt without the Demon? As for Sami, he grabs the mic again. Fans cheer, but Sami says, “Y’know, I really thought coming out here tonight would cure what ails me. All it did was reinforce what I’ve realized over the past nine months. It genuinely seems like you missed me.” Fans cheer because they did! Sami stands up as he continues. He can honestly say, from the bottom of his heart, Sami didn’t miss any of them.

The WWE is just a toxic environment. Not because of the McMahons or the other superstars, but because of the audience’s ugliness! Sami will be honest, he lives a happy life. But the fans seem so empty and devoid of meaning that the only joy they get is not from the shows, but out of being critics! Why is that, you morons? Because it’s all the fans have to give themselves self-importance. They judge everyone and everything else but themselves! And why is that? Because they don’t have the balls to! They’re all so delusional, it makes Sami laugh. The fans are the voice of reason? The voices that should be heard? No! Overnight, the WWE Universe has become the evil overlords of the business!

Sami is about one thing: doing what is right. And the right thing isn’t to come back and “save” the WWE, or to “take over” (HHH voice). The right thing to do is to come out here and hold the fans accountable because no one else will. “See you in Hell.” Sami feels he’s doing the right thing telling the WWE Universe off, but is that any way to get ahead?

Backstage interview with Dana Brooke.

Not to interrupt anyone, but she wants to make a declarative statement. Congrats to Becky, the new Raw and SmackDown Women’s Champion. And given what Lacey Evans did tonight, there is a line forming. Dana can’t say she’s at the front, but she won’t let herself be the back of it. If there’s an opportunity, Dana is going to seize it! That said, congrats again to Becky. Will Dana defy expectations and finally challenge for at least one of those titles?

Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.

Raw returns to The Drifter protesting his interrupting at Wrestlemania. But he promises things will be different. Instead of Elias’ performance of a lifetime, we got the return of Thuganomics. As a man of many instruments, Elias can tell Cena is no artist. Cena is just selfish and only riding Elias’ coattails! We all saw it last night. Fans sing for Elias like they did last night, too. So in the spirit of Brooklyn, Elias will show us just how easy it is to rap like Cena. Elias won’t need the guitar for this, actually. But where to begin?

Elias is sick of John Cena. WWE, Elias is the real biggest star. But if we want the Doctor of Thuganomics, then Elias will drop a few bars. John brought out that golden shovel even tho Elias can’t be buried, but that’s just what you do. Elias has three fingers up, but Cena, the middle one’s for you. Every superstar wants to make a name off Elias, he gets it, they’re fans. But mark his words, the next one who does is a dead man. Wait… OH NO! The bell tolls and the lights go down. Lightning strikes, and the moon is out! Elias doesn’t want to accept, but there’s no doubt! The Undertaker is here!! And he’s headed for the ring! Elias is about to wet himself, realizing he should NOT have decided to rap instead of sing.

Taker stands before Elias, and Elias tries to sneak out. Fans chant for Taker as Elias reconsiders. Taker watches Elias closely as he puts the guitar down and takes off his jacket. Elias turns around as Brooklyn starts losing its mind. Elias steps to Taker, and Taker steps to Elias. Taker and Elias stare down as fans sing “Taker’s gonna kill~ you!” Elias turns but swings, into Taker’s boot! Elias stands, but gets a CHOKE SLAM! Taker picks up his hat to move it aside before taking off his duster. Taker slashes the throat, and scoops Elias into the TOMBSTONE! Elias now Rests In Peace! Will Elias ever learn?

WWE World Championship & Universal Championship, Winner Takes All: Kofi Kingston VS Seth Rollins!

Just as both men win these titles, they want to put them on the line! The dream of Kofimania came true while the Architect finally slayed the Beast, but now only one man will reign supreme so soon after the Showcase of the Immortals! Who will further their legacy here tonight?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we make even more history!

Rollins circles with Kofi and they tie up. Kofi wrenches Rollins to a wristlock but Rollins endures. Fans chant for “Both These Guys!” as Rollins rolls and handsprings through to a headlock takeover. Kofi gets up as fans start dueling. Kofi powers out but Rollins runs him over. Things speed up and Kofi elbows Rollins down. Kofi catches Rollins but Rollins escapes the SOS. Rollins spins Kofi out but Kofi dodges the Kingslayer knee. Kofi spins but Rollins ducks the Trouble in Paradise. Rollins runs but Kofi avoids the Curb Stomp! Fans love this stalemate while we go to one last break.

Raw returns once again as Kofi has Rollins in an armlock. Rollins fights out with haymakers and chops. Kofi chops back! Rollins chops, Kofi chops, repeat! Rollins whips Kofi to a corner but Kofi boots him away. Kofi hops up but into a dropkick! Both men are down but fans are fired up. Kofi and Rollins roll to opposite ends before slowly standing up. Fans rally as Kofi runs in but into a boot. Rollins hops up but has to hop over Kofi. Kofi misses and Rollins PELES! Cover, TWO! Rollins keeps his cool as he stomps to “Burn It Down!” Kofi slowly sits up and Rollins runs in, but he misses the stomp again! Roll up, TWO! Rollins kicks but Kofi ducks to DDT! Cover, TWO!

Fans rally up again as Kofi gets to a corner. Rollins also gets up and runs in, but Kofi slips out to roundhouse Rollins away. Kofi climbs but Rollins jumps up to join him! Kofi shoves Rollins to the floor! But then Kofi adjusts, only for The Bar to attack!?

No Contest

Cesaro and Sheamus ruin this match as they stomp out Kofi! Fans boo but Rollins gets in to help Kofi! Rollins fights the Swiss Cyborg and the Celtic Gladiator but he gets beat down, too. Kofi returns to return the favor! Kofi and Rollins fight The Bar off, and Rollins grabs a mic. He doesn’t get what they’re up to, but The Bar won’t get away with it. Winner Takes All can happen again later. But right now, they’ll team up to take The Bar on here and now! The Bar accept and hit the ring!

Seth Rollins & Kofi Kingston VS The Bar!

The bell rings and Rollins starts against Cesaro! They tie up and Rollins throws body shots. Cesaro pushes Rollins to the ropes but Rollins fights The Bar off. Slingblade for Cesaro! Rollins clotheslines Cesaro out then slingshots out, but Cesaro catches him to slam him on the apron! Kofi comes around, but leaps into Sheamus’ Irish Curse to barriers! The Bar has control while we take one last break.

Raw returns once again, and Rollins powers against Cesaro towards his corner. Cesaro pushes back but Rollins pushes again. Rollins back drops Cesaro down but Sheamus tags in to hit Kofi! Sheamus swings but misses, but stags Cesaro. Cesaro uppercuts Rollins and The Bar gives him double back breakers! Cover, TWO! Cesaro choke Rollins on the rope then backs off so Sheamus can get a cheap shot in! Cover, TWO! Tag to Sheamus and he drags Rollins up. Sheamus throws hands but Rollins counter punches and chops! Rollins CHOPS more, then runs but into a scoop. He slips out and baits Sheamus into a post! Fans rally as Kofi reaches for Rollins. hot tag brings Kofi in! Kofi springboards and rallies on Sheamus with chops and dropkicks! Kofi hits the leaping ax handle, and then the New Day Boom Drop!

Fans are fired up as Kofi aims from a corner. They clap along with Kofi as he aims. Kofi spins but Sheamus ducks. Sheamus turns around, and gets SOS! Cover but Cearo breaks it! Rollins throws hands but Cesaro throws him out. Kofi dumps Cesaro out and then climbs up high! Kofi leaps for the Trust Fall! But is caught! Rollins DIVES and bowls everyone over! Kofi puts Sheamus in fast and climbs up again. Kofi leaps for a big crossbody! Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survives but Kofi keeps his cool. Kofi drags Sheamus up but Sheamus shoves him at the ref! Cesaro hotshots Kofi and Sheamus knees Kofi down! Cover, TWO! Kofi lives but Cesaro tags in. The Bar coordinates for the A-Swiss-ted White Noise! Cover, but Rollins barrels in to break it up!

All four men are down but Rollins gets out. Sheamus pursues and scoops, but Rollins slips out to SUPERKICK! And sends Sheamus into the post! Cesaro has Kofi for the Neutralizer but Kofi back drops out. Cesaro rolls through to get the swing, but Kofi crawls up to cradle! TWO! Cesaro runs in but Rollins tags. Kofi boots Cesaro, Trouble in Paradise! CURB STOMP! Cover, Rollins & Kofi win!

Winners: Seth Rollins & Kofi Kingston, Rollins pinning

The Champion VS Champion match may have been ruined, but Kofi and Rollins get revenge and stand tall together. Kofi offers a fist bump, and Rollins accepts it. The champions still have their belts, but will they both still reign when they come back to Winner Takes All?

My Thoughts:

Well this was going to be a great Raw, but it tumbled and fell at the end to only be a good Raw.  We were given an amazing tease at the very beginning as The New Day appeared and Kofi issued his own Winner Takes All challenge! It was hyped all night and for a moment there, it felt like it was going to happen. But between commercials for SmackDown essentially spoiling things, as well as this logically being a little too soon, and just because Vince had the bait ‘n’ switch ready all along, it did not happen. Now, I’m not sure the logic of using The Bar other than they seem to be Vince’s muscle now, but that “impromptu” tag match in a vacuum was alright for being a rushed 10-minutes-or-less match. Perhaps SummerSlam or Survivor Series will see this Winner Takes All actually happen.

Alexa Bliss’ first match back was pretty good, but also kinda fast against Bayley. Lacey Evans finally does something resembling action, and has a pretty good brawl with Becky. Honestly, this would’ve been better served if this was the first or at least second time fans had seen her. But all of her sassy strutting was clearly just Vince trying to keep her on everyone’s minds. Dana Brooke speaking up might get her close to the Raw Women’s Championship, but there’s a good chance she loses to Lacey in Lacey’s first match. We finally see Lars Sullivan on Raw, and he’s used to “ruin” Angle’s final good-byes. I’m not sure the reason other than Lars needs to look legit on his own end, but I actually would’ve used Lars for that Winner Takes All No Contest. Lars going after both top guys would’ve meant more than going after someone retiring.

Speaking of #TopGuys, The Revival is truly out of the way since they lost a rematch tonight. I’m not sure what’s supposed to happen for Dash & Dawson now, but perhaps they win a second rematch down the way. The GLORIOUS Duo turns Heel instead of breaking up, which is fine by me. Aleister & Ricochet still win, but with the Superstar Shake-Up coming back, this rivalry might be broken up already. Or even a tag team, as Aleister & Ricochet have not won any titles since joining together. Aleister going to SmackDown is definitely logical given his marriage with Zelina Vega. He’d make a great opponent for Samoa Joe and the WWE United States Championship. Ricochet could be on either brand and challenge for the US or IC titles and make for a great match.

Sami Zayn’s return and IC title match was great, even in losing, but I’m not sure about this new take on his Heel persona. It’s one thing for Heels to be against fans but Sami feels like a weird offshoot of Daniel Bryan’s “FICKLE!” rhetoric. Sami will still make for great matches, but I was hoping he and Kevin Owens would reunite to face the Usos for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships. I don’t see Ambrose leaving for real, not with the beating Lashley gave him. Ambrose will probably “reconsider” and get a new contract after all, just so he can get revenge. And perhaps most surprising, we didn’t get a peep or even an appearance by Roman or Strowman. I suppose WWE realized not to overload things, but I’m curious as to where either goes from here. Maybe Money in the Bank since it’s now the post-Mania PPV?

My Score: 8/10