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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis: 8/30/2019

IMPACT! starts it’s shows from the Mexico tapings! Any fun AAA talent to look forward to?

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IMPACT! starts it’s shows from the Mexico tapings! Any fun AAA talent to look forward to?

AAA and Impact continue to have a nice working relationship. I do appreciate how Impact tends to add the “Hometown flavor” for wherever they are filming from.

We should be seeing the beginnings of Bound for Glory builds and maybe even another wrinkle in the Ken Shamrock versus Moose angle.

But first, I think Sami has quite a good bone to pick with management.

Ratings:

  • Golden Magic vs TJP vs Taurus vs Trey: Golden Magic wins via 450 Splash – ***
  • Dez & Wentz vs Rich Swann & Willie Mack: Mack wins via 6 Star Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Knockouts Championship: Taya Valkyrie (c) vs Big Mami: Taya retains via STF – *
  • Kiera Hogan, Vanilla & Madison Rayne vs Rosemary & Jordynne Grace & Chika Tormenta: Rosemary wins via Double Underhook Guillotine Drop – -*
  • Falls Count Anywhere Match: Michael Elgin vs Rhino: Elgin wins via Elgin Bomb – *** 1/2

 

Analysis:

Golden Magic vs TJP vs Taurus vs Trey – Well early on there were a few hiccups and slow points that made some of the transitions awkward, but it worked itself out. We got to see some signature moves from everyone, Taurus hit a Pumphandle Flatliner, TJP hit the Detonation Kick, Trey pulled off the Cheeky Nandos and Tiger Feint, but Golden Magic stole the match. TJP had Taurus in a Knee Bar, but Golden Magic hits a 450 Splash on Trey, and the referee counts the pinfall instead of checking the submission.

Backstage segment with Keira Hogan, Vanilla, Chika Tormenta and Jordynne Grace. Madison decides to solve things, since she’s the locker room leader, and have them decide it Teddy Long style.

Dez & Wentz vs Rich Swann & Willie Mack – Fast paced action from bell. A number of X Division style sequences with a decent amount of high flying moments. Willie and Rich hit the bigger moves, while The Rascalz tried to do more of a stick and move style. A tandem Inverted Crucix Neckbreaker along with the flashy finish of Frankensteiner directly into the 6 Star. A good match that also did a good job at establishing Swann & Mack as a new team for the tag titles.

Knockouts Championship: Taya Valkyrie (c) vs Big Mami – So this is the usual joke opponent turned slightly competitive. Taya set this up since as of Monday, she would be the longest reigning Knockouts Champion. So she promised a “big” surprise for her final opponent before making history. Thus, Big Mami, a mostly comedic mixed tag wrestler with Nino Hamburguesa. For a big girl, she moves fairly well and had a few spots for the crowd to pop and rally behind her, but no one really believed Taya was losing this.

After the match, Taya gloats in Spanish, and then Em-*cough*, sorry, Tenille Dashwood’s music hits and she makes her presence known. Implications seem to be Tenille versus Taya for Bound for Glory.

Kiera Hogan, Vanilla & Madison Rayne vs Rosemary, Jordynne Grace & Chika Tormenta – So…okay, this was a tag team match, that started off…let’s say sloppy. Then Rayne starts obviously interfering with Jordynne, so the match gets thrown out. Scuffle, Rosemary joins the fray, restart to a trios match. Well…I have no faith in the rest of this.

Yup, this restart trios match was rough. Madison and Kiera played up their personalities well, but Vanilla is not good in the ring. Just very sloppy and tends to botch a bit. Kiera and Madison abandon Vanilla, so she’s left alone for Rosemary to hit a Double Underhook Guillotine Drop…it’s new, that’s all I got. At least this match is over.

Yes this cringey crap is what the Ace Austin storyline has boiled down to:

Falls Count Anywhere Match: Michael Elgin vs Rhino – These two put together pretty damn good matches. This spilled to the outside early, even though Elgin tried to keep it in the ring. Rhino and Elgin kept climbing up the rows of seats, Rhino hit Elgin with a soda and a fan’s purse. So this portion definitely had an ECW feel, which was echoed by the Mexican fans starting the ECW chant. We got a lot of back and forth and great fight out of Rhino. Rhino has proven that even though he’s thicker in the middle and had more time in WWE catering than a wrestling ring, he’s still not washed up. The finish comes off of Elgin going for a Seated Senton on a chair, but Rhino turns the chair sideways and let’s say…splits Elgin between the uprights. Elgin retreats to a table in the corner, Rhino attempts a Gore, but Elgin misses, Rhino explodes through the table and then the Elgin Bomb seals the win for Big Mike.

 

Overall Score: 6.25/10

This was one of those difficult shows for me, since the good stuff was pretty damn good, but the bad was like TNA 2014/WCW 2000 levels of bad. I hate the Ace Austin thing, but at least it’s a story to keep him relevant. Most of us hated DDP stalking Undertaker’s wife too, right? On top of the bad matches tonight, at least had good storyline implications, but just…ugh…rough to sit through.

It can also be noted that Melissa Santos wasn’t on Twitch tonight, hell, there was no Twitch host. We just got like 7 or 8 Flashback moments to compensate.

So yeah, as a show, things moved forward and there was enough good wrestling to cover the bad. But it was definitely a funky mixed bag of things.


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2024

Motor City Machine Guns either go out on their backs, or head to Rebellion as champs! Lets see how they finish their current run in TNA!

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No burying the lead here! The Main Event is The System versus Motor City Machine Guns, and it’s the Go Home episode before Rebellion! So we’re guaranteed a damn good tag match, and we should get either new wrinkles, or ways to keep the storylines cooking going into the Pay-per-View.

With all the rumors and innuendo about the Guns being on their way out, I think we all assume that MCMG is losing, but my inner fanboy is still excited.

Ratings:

  • Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – SQUASH
  • LSG vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – SQUASH
  • Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno: Ali wins via 450 Splash – ** 3/4
  • Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards: System wins via Roster Cut + Knee Party – *** 1/4

 

Results:

So we kick off the match with Josh coming out to commentary again to watch Hammerstone’s match. They really need a new way to try and keep heat without reusing the same tired gimmick of “ring side seat” to a Squash match.

Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone

Guido tries to shoot the half, but Hammerstone shrugs him off, lifts him like a child and runs him into a corner, few short shots and then just tosses him across the ring. Hammer gets a little distracted talking smack to Josh and eats a foot, but then tosses Guido with the ole Sack of Shit move and keeps working over Guido.

Hammer shoves Clayton, and provokes him to push him back right in front of the referee. She ejects them, Guido tries to take advantage but when he goes for the pinfall Hammer kicks out immediately and presses Guido out of thing through the ropes. Continues to dog walk Guido, puts the head gear on the ECW Original and then Torture Racks him while staring directly at Josh, and of course picks up the submission victory.

LSG vs Joe Hendry

Hendry cuts a little promo, mentioning the Fat Uncle Phil joke…something about shopping at the TOP Dollar Store. Solid mic work.

LSG is a damn good local talent, he’s been seen in ROH and AEW in the past (perhaps others, but that’s what comes to mind immediately for me), but we all know this is an enhancement match. A few nice chain wrestling spots early, but Hendry uses his power to stop the smaller wrestler, Sack of Shit into Standing Ovation and the match is over quickly.

Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno

Well okay, having Deaner ask the crowd if they wanted a 3v2 or their third member…RHYNO…is pretty much a no brainer in Philly. But at least the gimmick isn’t quite as cringe as I expected.

Jake starts with Zack Gibson and throws him around. Jake goes for the tag and Deaner asks the crowd who Jake should tag, and the crowd picks Rhyno. Rhyno Whips Gibson into a corner, Drake actually softens the impact, allowing Gibson to fire back, tag out, but Rhyno levels both GYV members and then even knocks Ali off the apron. Rhyno tries to call to the crowd to tag in Deaner and that goes over like a fart in church. He tags him in anyway, and the crowd is kinda dead and doing whatever it wants after the obvious ECW chants when Rhyno tagged in.

GYV take a couple lumps but they of course start to work over Deaner and capture some momentum. Solid tandem work from GYV, they cut off Deaner from making a tag and goad Jake a little to cause the ref to block off the babyfaces so the heels can take a few shortcuts. Cody eventually makes the tag to Rhyno, hot tag, he tries to set up the Gore but the GYV manage to stop him in his tracks and hit an Enzuigiri to daze the Man Beast, he falls to his corner and Jake tags himself in. Jake literally runs them all over, tags in Cody and Launches him from the Top Rope into Zack Gibson. Ali makes the save and Jake tries to get his hands on Ali, but the GYV keep throwing themselves at him, literally. The triple team finally gets the best of Jake, they hit 3 Dives and then post Jake, so they gather around Cody like hyenas.

They forgot about Rhyno, he’s set up for a Gore, he Gores Drake, Gibson and Ali take out Rhyno, but then Cody starts to fight back. Ali stops Deaner’s offense with an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, then hits his 450 Splash. Jake barely misses being able to break up the pin.

Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Jody tries to start quickly with Shoulder Tackles, Lariats and Scoop Slams, and it does seem somewhat effective. Rosemary is having trouble finding offense against the intensity, but she keeps kicking out. Shotgun Dropkick finally gives Rosemary an opening, she goes into full mount and rains down strikes. Rosemary shoves Jody into a corner and Bites her in the corner. Jody tries to fight out, they go across and Rosemary catches her with the legs and puts her in the Upside Down. Splash in the corner from Rosemary, Exploder Suplex and Jody is eating a lot of offense.

Rosemary looks like she’s caught after she gets tripped up into the ropes and Jody goes for her Rope Knee into the German, but Rosemary dodges. Rosemary hits her own suplex and pulls out a beautiful Last Chancery! I haven’t seen her do that in a long time. Jody manages to fight to the ropes, Rosemary is a little slow to capitalize and eats a Pump Kick. Rosemary goes flying into the ropes, Jody hits the Double Knees into the German this time for 2, and they trade a few haymakers after that. Jody folds Rosemary with a low Lariat, Zombie rise spot a few times, Jody goes for a pinfall and Rosemary kicks out.

Havok jumps up on the apron, Dani meets her and they decide to step down, but the distraction was enough. Jody turns around and eats a Spear. Rosemary wins!

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards

Eddie and Shelley start off, and its a very simple slow start. Mostly an early stalemate, the typical Japanese style the TNA seem to love to employ. Starters tag out, but then Shelley with the blind tag, Sabin Baseball Slides out, picks Eddie’s ankle and sends his face bouncing off the apron, while Shelley sneaks up being Myers and they hit a tandem move before we cut to commercial. Off of the commercial it looks like Eddie and Myers regained control. But a nice Jawbreaker from Shelley sends Eddie falling back into the MCMG corner. Dragon Screws to both legs from Sabin and Shelley, and we get the Dragon Screw dissection spot for the Guns.

Myers gets sick of things, tries to get involved, but Simultaneous Figure Fours from the MCMG makes The System look silly. Alisha does the classic “push the rope forward” gimmick to assist Eddie in breaking the hold. She keeps chirping at Shelley until she finally grabs his foot. Shelley doesn’t take kindly, tries to grab her by the hair but she gets away, Shelley eats a strike and falls back to the ropes so Lish can just throttle him with the rope, Sabin walks over and acts like he’s going to PK her and the look of disgust on her face is hilarious, like “how dare he threaten to kick her”. Would I be mad is Masha decides to team with Lish and they win the Knockouts Tag titles? No, because the Knockouts Tags are trash. But I still prefer Lish as valet/manager.

Shelley starts fighting back after another commercial break, Eddie tries to cut him off, but Sabin clocks Eddie and Shelley manages to make the tag and Sabin comes in. Lights up both System members, Kick off Tornado DDT, into a Running Gamengiri. Eddie tries to counter but Shelley assists, tandem strikes, Double Baseball Slide into the classic MCMG spot 5 Hole Dive! Keeping up with the classics Shelley stacks the System members on each other and hit the Missile Dropkick/Flatliner spot. As the Guns are rolling, Sabin accidentally catches Sabin with his foot and The System take control! They hit their pieces of the System Overload spot, but Sabin kicks out. Roster Cut attempt from Myers, but Shelley is back. High Speed Dirt, Machine Gun Sandwich, but Lish grabs Shelley’s foot when they’re setting up Skull and Bones. Shelley gets dropped on the turnbuckle and thrown out, Sabin eats the Roster Cut followed up with Boston Knee Party and System retains!

Its a little weird to have had the two commercial cuts and the fact there’s still Nic Nemeth to follow. So it feels a little flat, I hope this wasn’t their swan song match, because it was nice to see some classic spots, but it was entirely too abbreviated. 

Nemeth comes out, goes into the crowd and finds a kid with a kendo stick and borrows a beer from someone, so he does a bit of a Sandman tribute. Moose cuts off his promo basically immediately. He throws out the “can’t beat the system” line again, and Nic rolls with the punches well. Moose uses a few cute analogies about Nic having a failure laden past, but Nemeth bites back and its really damn good. He says he can see it in Moose’s eyes that he thinks he’s getting in the ring with Dolph Ziggler, but no, there is no more old Dolph Ziggler, just the new Nic Nemeth. And Moose’s cool seems to be slightly shaken after those words. Good promo.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

So this was okay, if it didn’t end as strongly as it did, I would’ve rated this much lower. Two squash matches in the beginning, reusing the Josh comes out to the announce table to watch trope is boring, hell even Clayton’s shove to Hammerstone was super lame looking. The Deaner match was luke warm at best, but things picked up around the Rosemary match.

Lets also not overlook the segments with ASH & Xia, Jonathan Gresham’s whole deal and EY having to return to the violence/sickness/world class maniac, whatever you want to call it, were all great building blocks. This definitely wasn’t what I would call a strong Go Home, but it didn’t hurt things for Rebellion. The whole injury of Cardona was addressed, which honestly sounded weird since Jordynne basically said she was expecting them to have a backup plan so she has a backup plan. I don’t really like how that video package came across.

But who knows, all I know is, this wasn’t an awful episode, it just wasn’t really strong either.  Here’s to hoping Rebellion Saturday is still strong.


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Andrew’s TNA Xplosion Results & Match Ratings: 4.12.2024

Okay now, I’m just happy Kevin Knight gets a little time to shine. with New Jersey’s own Steve Maclin!

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Xplosion has been a waste of time since the new regime took over completely, and I can’t really see anything special about this episode. Still only promoting 1 match, prolly have an old match, an ICYMI and Gia’s interview.

It looks like the Around the Ring interview will be with Rosemary. So maybe that will be interesting, and I was recently talking about what’s been up with Kevin Knight since the Referendum match; so its nice to see him around. Knight shouldn’t win, but as long as he looks good, we might finally get a match worth sitting through old footage and a useless Top 5.

Ratings:

Steve Maclin vs Kevin Knight: Maclin wins via KIA – ** 1/2

 

Results:

TNA+Throwback Moment: Team 3D vs Motor City Machine Guns, Genesis 2007

Now I’ve said many times that I’m tired of all the clips and vault matches, but I’m also a MCMG fanboy…and this was prime TNA, so I’m at least amused. Plus to validate the match, we’ve got MCMG versus The System coming up on iMPACT!, so its just a nice old match to get the blood pumping.

Don West, You’ve Got to be Kidding Me! Trending Topics of the week:

5. New Full Blooded Italians.

4. Hammerstone vs Alexander, Last Man Standing

3. Myron Reed returns to The Rascalz

2. Nic Nemeth beating Alex Shelley

1. Jonathan Gresham officially signs with TNA

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times, this Top 5 is legitimately a waste of air. Its just dumb dirt sheet highlights mostly from 2 weeks ago because their filming schedule makes the topics old and uninteresting.

Gia’s Around the Ring interview is with Rosemary. She stays in gimmick, not quite as over the top as the one Alicia Atout interview from a few years ago, but Gia is leading “the demon” on why they picked Courtney. They talk about Gia visiting the Undead Realm and that they still don’t know where Taya is. She also reveals a Bunny top of her cane, and very obviously hints to Allie. So I wonder if this is her trying to speak it into existence or if it’s actually a hint. Did something finally make a point for foreshadowing in storylines?

TNA+Throwback Moment: MCMG vs Beer Money, 2 out 3 Falls, 8.12.2010 iMPACT!

Steve Maclin vs Kevin Knight

So basic opening, but when Maclin tries a Hip Toss, Knight also attempts to counter it and it looks really ugly and car crashy. Nothing dangerous, just a fall down “didn’t get all of it” kind of spot. If that’s the only misstep, at least it was at the beginning.

Maclin tries to slow things down, but a huge Twisting Crossbody off the rope keeps things going for Knight. Another miscue where Knight tries to dodge a Chop in the corner, but is hella slow and eats the chop to the eyes. I mean in a way the ugly execution makes the match feel more like a dirty brawl from the 80s, but with how choreographed everything is nowadays, its just odd. Maclin whips Knight to the ropes, Knight jumps over the rope to the outside, revels in his landing, turns around and eats a SCUD Missile from Maclin!

Fully in control, Maclin is working over Knight until Knight catches him with a desperation strike and then rides the momentum into a few nice High spots. There is a locomotion Cradle spot which is also a little wonky to put it nicely, Knight tries to jump on Maclin for a Jumping DDT, but Maclin shrugs it off and heads to the corner. Knight charges, Maclin throws him over his shoulder but Knight catches himself and lands on the ropes, Maclin just shoves him forward to crotch him on the top buckle, Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs into KIA, and Maclin wins.

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Given this the old Bret Hart special. The main event was tolerable if not sloppy, the throwbacks having the Machine Guns made the fanboy side of me giddy, but I still hate all the old footage stuff. The main reason for the higher score than the last few weeks is as I already said, decent main event and my hope the convenient Bunny on the cane is foreshadowing and not just acknowledging. Depending on availability, Su Yung could always return to TNA with an “Undead Bunny”. Hell the possibility of a Suzie and Allie tag team is comedic gold.

But we’ll see if that goes anywhere. Its also sad when a 4 is a pretty big upgrade to the last month or so of these shows. Xplosion really is a waste of damn time when I have to scrape the bottom of the barrel to find crumbs of entertainment.


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