Connect with us

Impact Coverage

Andrew’s Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation Throwback Throwdown Ratings & Analysis: 11/26/2019

Ever want to know what 1983 in Canada looks like? Okay, I don’t either…but this should be fun.

Published

on

Ever want to know what 1983 in Canada looks like? Okay, I don’t either…but this should be fun.

Grainy camera, check, old school introduction, check…well this is definitely something.

Much like a DBZ movie, this one isn’t canon boys and girls. So let’s just sit back and relax…let’s see where the New Wave takes us.

Ratings:

  • Rip Razor (Ace Austin) vs Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann): Pete wins via Special Delivery Splash – **
  • Xcessive Force (Fallah Bahh & D’lo Brown) vs The Hardworkers (Cody Deaner & Cousin Jake): Hardworkers win via Double Team Sunset Flip – **
  • Johnny Swinger vs Buck Gunderson: Johnny via Swinger Neckbreaker – N/A
  • Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne) vs Agnus Beerheart: Jazzy wins via Middle Rope Splash – **
  • Tim Burr (Josh Alexander), Jim Nasium (Dezmond Xavier), Bill Ding (Trey Miguel) & Ray Strack (Zachary Wentz) vs The Rough Riders (Tessa Blanchard, Jordynne Grace, Havok & Alexia Nicole): Blanche wins via newly innovated Hammerlock DDT – ***
  • Blindfold Match: Gama Singh w/Dada Singh vs Cowboy Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards): Colt wins via Ace Crusher – *
  • IPWF International TV Championship Loser Leaves Town Match: Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack) vs Julian Cumberbun (Ethan Page) (c) w/ Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan): Brown wins via Roll-Up – ***TITLE CHANGE!!!

 

Analysis:

Announce Team: Sexton Hardcastle (Don Callis) & Giuseppe Scovelli Jr (Josh Mathews)

Rip Razor (Ace Austin) vs Rapid Delivery Pete (Rich Swann) – The commentary helps this along since they keep making it seem like the finish will be after more simple moves like a Hip Toss or Dropkick. Starting things off, Pete tried to put Rip in a headlock, but since Rip has a spiked collar, like a good punk rocker, Pete hurt himself…giving Rip an early advantage. Nothing flashy, but it’s amusing and has an vintage feel to it. Pete winning with a Running Splash, was appropriate for the 1983 setting.

Julian Cumberbun & Sonny Sanders have an interview before their Loser Leaves Town match with ‘Downtown’ Daddy Brown.

Xcessive Force has an interview before their match with the Hardworkers. Also being billed at 1500 pounds, Pummel and Plunder gonna kill someone.

Xcessive Force (Fallah Bahh & D’lo Brown) vs The Hardworkers (Cody Deaner & Cousin Jake) – D’lo cuts his promo like Ultimate Warrior and they look like Demolition. This is fantastically ridiculous. Xcessive Force works like normal big guy heels, we even get a Nerve Hold. The match is obviously supposed to be amusingly old school, and checks all the right boxes. Even with the heels getting their heat back after the Sunset Flip loss.

Johnny Swinger vs Buck Gunderson – Innovation in the style that Swinger brings. It feels like it’s a few years ahead of it’s time, but it could be thanks to his time in Japan. A neckbreaker variation gives him the win over this young local hopeful.

Frank the Butcher (Rhino) promo, not as clever as some of the others so far, but on brand.

Rough Riders…oh my god I love this. This…is…I love every second.

Jazzy Fitbody (Madison Rayne) vs Agnus Beerheart – Sebastian Baker the Hit Maker (Jimmy Jacobs) has been courting Jazzy for a while so he comes out to the ring. Jazzy seems to be against some local talent, but she shows her aerobics training has helped her cardio in this match. They also let us know that she’s the highest high flier in the women’s division, as shown by her second rope splash. Sebastian tries to get her to sign his contract, but she pulls a swerve and low blows him, ripping up the contract.

The Body Slam Challenge is teased for later in the show! The $300,000 Man ups the ante to see if someone can Body Slam Kongo Kong!

Tim Burr (Josh Alexander), Jim Nasium (Dezmond Xavier), Bill Ding (Trey Miguel) & Ray Strack (Zachary Wentz) vs The Rough Riders (Tessa Blanchard, Jordynne Grace, Havok & Alexia Nicole) – Bill starts off against Blanche (Tessa), but after getting his hard hat knocked off, he tags in Ray. Georgia Cobb tries to slow down the little spark plug, but he runs circles around her and gets dizzy so Bill and Mildred (Alexia) get tagged in. Tim gets tagged in, knocks down Mildred, climbs to the top rope and innovated not one, but a DOUBLE Axehandle. Wow, it seems very effective. Ladybird Johnston (Havok) and Tim have a power showdown, and then we get a little bit a melee. Blanche becomes the legal competitor and innovates this dangerous drop takedown, or something. Wow…what an innovative match.

Body Slam Challenge: Mr. Atlantis is unsuccessful but Muscles McGhee (Brian Cage) comes out! McGhee is told the money is off the table, but he still goes after Kongo for pride and his people! AND HE LIFTS HIM! MUSCLES MCGHEE MAKES CANADA PROUD!

Tommy Dreamer has an interesting Promo.

New segment of The Cockpit! Captain Joystick (Joey Ryan) and Ms. Milehigh (Kiera Hogan) talk with DJ 2 Large (Moose) triggered because of last week’s events:

Blindfold Match: Gama Singh w/Dada Singh vs Cowboy Colt McCoy (Eddie Edwards) – He’s really a blue collar hero. This is a tough match since the blindfold is sensory deprivation. Dada Singh tries to distract and Gama tries to peak, but the Cowboy overcomes the odds and wins with the Ace Crusher.

-The Soviets (Michael Elgin & Madman Fulton ) attack the Cowboy! Giuseppe Sr. (Scott D’Amore) the owner of the territory tries to break things up, but the Soviets don’t care. They drape the disrespectful Russian flag on top of the body of Colt and pose in the ring.  

IPWF International TV Championship Loser Leaves Town Match: Downtown Daddy Brown (Willie Mack) vs Julian Cumberbun (Ethan Page) w/ Sonny Sanders (Sami Callihan) – Julian and Sonny came in with a great game plan to keep Daddy guessing, but the working man from the Hamilton Steel Mill wasn’t going to be denied. Tennis rackets, assisted Figure Fours and even crowd deception when Julian tried to blend in with the fans to gain an advantage. Miscommunication between Sonny and Julian caused Julian to wipe out his racket wielding momma’s boy, and he got rolled up for the pinfall! Downtown stays in town, now with a new championship to show the boys at break time! NANA NA NA, HEY HEY HEY, Goodbye Julian and Sonny Sanders.

 

Overall Score: 10/10

WHAT!? Okay, I’m a cynical asshole and I’m usually nit picky…but if I went into this with the same mentality as a normal show, then I’d just be stupid. This peppered in tons of inside jokes and was a parody done with the spirit of enjoying the old school and not mocking it.

The Four Horseman, I mean Rough Riders were fantastic. Bill Ding and Tim Burr coming to life. Body Slam challenges, old fashion awful gimmick matches, and the working man going over at the end to send the fans home happy. This was amazing.

Another thing that has to be said is a bunch of the wrestlers were tweeting along and said how much fun the experience was. So for all the bad press that Impact has had over the years, it’s nice to see a decent amount of the roster playing along and expressing enjoyment. Just a damn fun night.

Maybe after their Atari game, they can make a version for the Itellivision.


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.11.2024

PCO vs Kon main event tonight…eww…really? Hopefully since its Monster’s Ball its a blow off and we end this feud forever.

Published

on

Now this is definitely a sus card, like call an Emergency Meeting level of sus. We get the Monster’s Ball hopefully blow off between Kon and PCO which is easily the worst feud of the year so far, AJ Francis in action is still questionable, and since we’re in Philly we’ll prolly see Dreamer at some point.

So there’s just a ton of things that alone would probably be lowlights, but potentially getting all of these really makes me hope that some things over perform.

Ratings:

  • Digital Media Championship: Laredo Kid vs Crazzy Steve (c): Steve retains via DQ – **
  • ABC (Chris Bey & Ace Austin) vs First Class (AJ Francis & Rich Swann): Rich wins via Roll Up w/ Tights – ** 3/4
  • Trent Seven w/Speedball Mike Bailey vs Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Bryan Myers: Moose wins via Lights Out – ** 1/2
  • James Drake w/Zack Gibson vs Jake Something: Jake wins via Into the Void – ** 1/2
  • Monster’s Ball Match: PCO vs Kon: PCO wins via PCO-Sault – ** 1/4

Results:

As soon as the show starts, Josh Alexander and Alexander Hammerstone are brawling on the ramp and through the ring. I doubt this brawl will continue through the entire show like that classic episode of iMPACT!, but this definitely has an old school TNA vibe. Dreamer comes out after most of the security is trying to restrain the two men. 

Dreamer talks down Josh, and says he has things he wants to talk to Hammer about.  Dreamer panders cause that’s all he ever does anymore, Dreamer says he’s the big reason why Hammerstone is in TNA…and I kinda believe it. Dreamer talks about how Hammer has history in the ECW Arena and its true, I was there for a few of them in MLW. Hammerstone makes Dreamer think everything’s cool and then snaps, attacks Dreamer and Torture Racks him before bailing as Josh hits the ring. 

Digital Media Championship: Laredo Kid vs Crazzy Steve (c)

Laredo Kid was supposed to get the shot at Sacrifice, but travel issues messed that up. So this is at least going to pay off the Laredo Kid interview we got a few weeks ago.

Steve goes for a few early tugs and mind games at the mask, but keeps his distance during the match when it looks like Kid might start some Lucha offense. Steve works him into a corner, fires him across and then Kid counters and finally lands a Flying Crossbody into a Flying Headscissors, tried the Arm Wringer rope acrobatics, but Steve pulls him down and Lariats the back of his head. Nice to see Steve didn’t feel like standing around with his arm up like a dweeb while someone jumped from rope to rope 6 times.

Stomps some mudholes in the corner, then Steve works him to the middle of the ring while verbally berating him. Fires him into the ropes and then just Kitchen Sinks him and starts clubbing at him. Kid tries to throw a few shots but a Russian Leg Sweep transitions to a Grounded Octopus Hold, and Kid barely is able to slip it after a short while. Driving the point of the elbow into Kid’s face, Steve is just meticulously dissecting Kid. Kid tries a quick comeback, goes for his Outside In Rolling maneuver, but Steve counters it into a DDT and then a near fall. Kid keeps trying to fight back, goes for the Uno Mas Moonsaults but Steve cuts him off on the third, Tree of Woe, Cannonball into the body as Kid crumples and Steve gets a near fall.

Steve’s Garvin Stomps, teases the neck snap, but decides to claw at the mask instead. Kid paintbrushes Steve, 10 Count Punches in the corner, and Kid keeps firing off on Steve. Kid shoves the referee, and keeps pummeling Steve and the referee disqualifies Kid.

Steve tries to attack Kid after the DQ, but Kid ducks the belt shot attempt, grabs the title himself and Steve powders. Kid poses, and we’ll probably see a rematch on the Countdown to Rebellion.

ABC (Chris Bey & Ace Austin) vs First Class (AJ Francis & Rich Swann)

Ace thinks he’s starting against Rich, but AJ tags in and goes for a Test of Strength, but Ace tries to chop down the tree and that…blows up in his face quick. AJ tags in Rich and AJ shoots Rich into Ace, and we see a bit of different offense from Rich early on. Rolling Body Scissors takes down Rich though, Ace tags in Bey and ABC gets a few tandem spots. Bey keeps control with a few short strikes, tags Ace back in and they go for a tandem move but AJ grabs Bey’s hair when he tries to hit the ropes. Bey turns around, Dives on AJ, AJ catches Bey, Ace tries to go after AJ, AJ tries to use Bey as a weapon but Ace jumps over and then blindsides AJ with a Thrust Kick. Rich does Stun Gun Ace, Bey tries to jump back in but AJ cuts him off and quickly Powerbombs him on the apron.

Rich and AJ work over Ace for a while, but then Ace is hung on the middle ropes, AJ goes for the Leg Lariat and Ace moves, AJ crotches himself…but he manages to tag in Rich early and Rich cuts off Ace’s tag attempt. Bow and Arrow submission keeps Ace reeling, stands him up, Dropkicks him down and tags back in AJ. AJ and Rich isolate Ace in their corner for a while, Assisted Big Boots, Rich lands a Splash on Ace’s Hip, AJ Scoop Slams Ace down and tries to throw him around from post to post. Ace is getting desperate, tries to make a tag, but AJ keeps him anchored. Ace with some wild strikes but AJ doesn’t let go, AJ shoots him into his corner and Ace takes out Rich. AJ charges, Ace dodges and Bulldog drives AJ to the ground and Ace finally tags out.

Bey with the hot tag, levels Rich, but AJ breaks up the pinfall attempt. Ace jumps on his shoulders, Bey tries a Crossbody and AJ catches him so he’s draped in both ABC members, lands a World’s Strongest Slam. Tennessee Whiskey from AJ as Rich blind tags in and gets ole’d into the ABC corner, Double Enzuigiris rocks Rich. AJ comes back in, goes for a Double Vertical Suplex, ABC slips it mostly, Double Roundhouse Kicks rocks AJ, Tandem Death Valley Driver takes out AJ, ABC tries the 1-2-SWEET, but Rich counters the Art of Finesse with a Neckbreaker, AJ trips Ace and Rich rolls up Ace with the tights for the win!

Joe Hendry comes out with a parody promo instead of video. Parodies the Fresh Prince theme just to insult AJ Francis calling him Fat Uncle Phil. 

That…is a great promo. I shouldn’t love this ASH by Elegance as much as I do, but damn I do. 

The contract signing is kinda boring until Jordynne says she’s knows she’ll win because she’s beaten Steph, her boyfriend and her boyfriend’s wife. Then she punctuates things with the “I’m the Juggernaut, Bitch” line. So if we judge things based off of old school wrestling logic, Jordynne will lose because she made a definitive declaration. Still some of Jordynne’s best promo work, but falls into old school tropes.

Maybe I should’ve learned Russian at some point. 

Trent Seven w/Speedball Mike Bailey vs Moose w/Eddie & Alisha Edwards & Bryan Myers

Early tie up pushes to the corner and Moose tries to take the cheap shot during the Clean Break, but Trent ducks and lights up Moose with about 9 chops, but Moose lands one chop and stiffens Trent and sends him falling backwards as even the referee looks surprised. Moose uses the power game early but Trent continues the same situation he started with by dodging a charge and just hitting what feels like a dozen chops in different spots.

Eddie gets on the apron to distract Trent from trying the Birminghammer, Back Fist, Seven Star Lariat attempt but Moose blocks and hits an Uranage. Then Moose says he doesn’t belong in the same ring as him, and that fires up Trent for a big right hand and then a Seven Star Lariat. Birminghammer attempt, but Moose slips it, ducks the back fist, hits the ropes and lands the Lights Out for the win!

Bailey tries to fight off The System, but Time Machine make the save. I wonder if we’re gonna end Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin’s current time in TNA as legit babyfaces, or if there’s gonna be a wrinkle before they officially leave. 

James Drake w/Zack Gibson vs Jake Something

Drake does the dumb thing and tries to stand up and go at Jake with power, so Jake just runs him over like 4 times, Thesz Press levels Drake and he powders to the outside. Jake chases like a dummy, Gibson distracts and Suicida from Drake puts Jake on the back foot. Back in the ring, Drake tries to keep him on the ground but Jake powers up through every strike. A grounded Enzuigiri gives him a 1 count near fall, but Jake continues to be stubborn and fight up to his feet. Drake tries to grab a Headlock but gets dropped and Jake starts pinballing Drake around the ring. A full body Hip Attack gives Drake a respite, but a straight right clocks Drake.

Jake looks to end things but Zack picks the ankle and Drake takes advantage. Corner shenanigans, scarf usage from Gibson, but Deaner comes out to even the numbers, Thesz Press levels Drake, Into the Void gives Drake the win. The Deaners look like they may be getting back together…and I’m not really sure how to feel about that.

Ali comes out with “protestors” and one of them I recognize as Cheeseburger, which makes sense because he is from Trenton, NJ. So regardless of whatever he’s doing he is technically local to Philly. Ali is trying to rally the protestors to enforce limits, but Jake takes out the protestors and a combination of GYV and Ali leave Jake laying.

Monster’s Ball Match: PCO vs Kon

Pre-match prediction is hopefully PCO wins and we never see Kon again. No more of this, please God, I’d rather Tommy Dreamer do a Kelly Kelly’s Expose segment than ever see these two in a match again. 

Two Collar and Elbow tie ups and no one moves, but then they both powder to get weapons. Kon blocks Kendo Shots with a chair and then chairshots to the back give Kon a chance, but then he swings wide and the follow up punch through the chair from PCO is slow. Kon powders, PCO tries to dive but eats a trash can and Kon just cackles like a doofus. Trash can lid, cookie sheet, but PCO shakes it off and returns the cookie sheet shots. After a lid shot, PCO tries a Suplex, Kon blocks it, Knife Edge Chop trade, Kon tries his own suplex and its blocked but PCO finally snaps off his Suplex.

Kon uses a chair a few times, Kendo stick breaks over PCO’s back and then Kon just chokes him against the ropes. Kon puts the trash can over PCO’s head, wraps his right hand in a chain and punches into the trash can. Going for the cover, Kon only gets a two count and PCO tries to roll to the apron. Kon slides over a table, looks to Power Bomb PCO, but PCO back body drop counter and Kon bounces off the apron. PCO hits his Middle Rope con Hilo and then posts Kon for good measure and finds another table. PCO puts the table next to the apron and is probably setting up a De-Animator through a table spot. Yup, that’s where we’re going. Kon eats the De-Animator and the table shatters!

PCO slides him back in the ring, Kon hits a Low Blow and finds another Kendo Stick. Goes to town on PCO, doubles him over and then tries to go to the top…for what a moronic Avalanche Kendo Stick shot? Kon is like 6’6″, the concept sounds stupid and its super slow. PCO gets up, grabs the kendo stick, beats on Kon and causes him to fall backwards through the table he set up earlier. PCO sets up some Ladder Art that also feels like a De-Animator spot. Yup, but who wants to bet PCO misses this one? Kon fires after going through two tables, cuts off PCO and Iconoclasm through the Ladders! Kon tosses PCO back in, little black bag of tacks! The TNA classic.

Kon takes a handful of tacks, put them in PCO’s mouth and then goes for the Neck Snap, but PCO spits them back at Kon, Chokeslams him into the tacks. PCO dumps out more tacks, PCO into the tacks and PCO wins.

 

Overall Score: 5/10

This really felt like a B-Team episode. When the main event is a 10 minute Hardcore slog with PCO and dead weight…that paints enough of a picture for the show. Was Santino entertaining? Sure. Did Jordynne have a solid promo? Yup. Was it funny seeing Ali’s protestors? Yup again. But this really isn’t an episode you need to watch to understand the stories. MCMG could be a send them off as baby faces, or next week they blame Kushida for the loss against The System and we get the MCMG vs Inter…I’m not saying that name, it’s fucking stupid; Kevin Knight and Kushida at Rebellion.

Please for the love of Eric Bischoff’s hairline, just no more Kon involved in anything. The last few episodes have been alright, but tonight was definitely a massive step down. Thankfully this wasn’t the Go Home to Rebellion, so there’s still a week to save momentum.


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Continue Reading

Coverage

Andrew’s TNA Xplosion Results & Match Ratings: 4.5.2024

While Xplosion has been a waste of time lately, surely this main event is worth watching. Right?!

Published

on

So Xplosion is advertising a match that should at least be entertaining. Still very skeptical over the usefulness of this show, but at least the main event has some promise.

As usual, I’m also curious who Gia will interview since that’s the only consistently good segment on this waste of time.

Ratings:

Kushida vs Ace Austin vs Mike Bailey: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – **

 

Results:

TNA+Throwback Moment: Monster’s Ball Match, The Wolves vs Decay, 2.16.2016, Impact!

So they’re showing this obviously because of the impending Monster’s Ball match with PCO and Kon…but this was a weird choice. 2016 is during the Dark Times of TNA/Impact, so anything from this era is a bit rough to watch. If anything this just makes me miss The Wolves. 

Don West, You’ve Got to be Kidding Me! Trending Topics of the week:

5. Steph de Lander winning #1 Contender for Rebellion

4. 2005 Essential Matches available on TNA+

3. Mustafa Ali on the cover of PWI

2. Matt Cardona returns

1. Ace Austin re-signs with TNA

Around the ring with Gia Miller has Chris Sabin as the guest! Gia asks about The High Crusade which is a band with Sabin, Alex Shelley, Petey Williams and two others. Sabin is the bassist, Shelley is the singer and Petey is one of the guitarists. She punctuates the interview by telling Sabin that he’s her favorite wrestler, always will be and Ace Austin knows it.

ICYMI: Nic Nemeth vs Alex Shelley iMPACT! 4.4.2024 

This match was legit good, so I’m not mad at this being the ICYMI…but clips do still annoy me. 

Kushida vs Ace Austin vs Mike Bailey

Weird Arm Wring trade offs, then End Arounds for Suplex attempts, and this all is a little goofy mirror gymnastics early on. Kushida does thankfully break the silly indie bullshit with a Cartwheel Dropkick and then Baseball Slide pushes Bailey to the floor. Shotei into a Frankensteiner sends Ace flying but then Bailey gets back in and things get a little silly again. People keep trying to grab a limb, shake it off and leave themselves wide open to someone else. This match feels like its in slow motion and too telegraphed, when it comes to signature misses, trying to steal pinfalls…its just kinda dumb looking. Bailey does pull off a Double Crucifix Pinfall attempt for 2, Ace does a Double Backslide, and then Kushida and Bailey kick Ace and then each other so they’re all down.

Kushida dodges Bailey’s Double Knees on the apron, Ace takes advantage, clocks both of his opponents and then lays them out with a Fosbury Flop. After some counters, Kushida is doubled over in the ring, Bailey goes for Ultima Weapon and Kushida counters it with the Tanaka Punch. Bailey powders, Kushida flies over the post to level Bailey, Ace tries to take advantage of Kushida coming back in but after a little back and forth, Kushida locks in the Hoverboard Lock and Ace taps right before Bailey can break the pinfall.

 

Overall Score: 3/10

Jesus Christ, you put three of the best Junior Heavyweights in a match, only give them like 7 minutes and it was indie-riffic. Now I see why it was on Xplosion, its very nearly a waste of film. Nothing had any lasting effect, it was just silly car crash spots over and over, and the only person with a singles trajectory got the win…so suspension of disbelief was out the window.

This is such a waste of time show. Even when you put on something that should be fun…its soo god damn lame. I hate what this has become. It had promise in the beginning of the year, now even calling it an after thought is an insult to after thoughts.


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!
Continue Reading

Sports

Entertainment

Sports Entertainment

Buy A Chairshot T-Shirt!

Chairshot Radio Network

Trending

WP Twitter Auto Publish Powered By : XYZScripts.com