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Mitchell’s NJPW New Year Dash Special! (1/6/2020)

It’s the fallout of Wrestle Kingdom Weekend!

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NJPW New Year Dash 2020

It is truly a new era in New Japan!

After all the fierce fighting and fanfare of a historic Wrestle Kingdom, NJPW truly kicks off 2020 with a New Year Dash!!

NOTE: NJPW no longer wants to feed AXS TV now that it is with Anthem and Impact Wrestling. But never fear, I will cover NJPW in the spirit of AXS in providing the most important matches of the show.

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • 8 Man Tag: Chaos VS Suzuki-Gun; Chaos wins, by disqualification.
  • SANADA & Tetsuya Naito VS Jay White & KENTA; SANADA & Naito win.

PLAY BY PLAY

The festivities begin with a farewell to Jushin Thunder Liger!

A video plays to recap the legendary career the Junior Heavyweight icon has had. All of his greatest matches, rivals and masks are chronicled. Liger’s many fans wear masks in honor of his legacy. It has become a phenomenon known as Ligerism!

And now, the man, the myth, the legend, Jushin Thunder Liger himself, heads to the ring! Fans cheer his name once more as he takes to the ring. The ring announcer thanks the fans for appearing, and has the ceremony begin with the procession of NJPW wrestlers. Hiroshi Tanahashi, Dragon Lee and Tiger Mask lead the way as just about every star and Young Lion of NJPW walk out to join Liger in the ring. Tanahashi presents Liger with the bouquet of flowers as everyone takes up a spot for one last photo with Liger. Fans cheer and the pictures are taken as everyone wears a tribute shirt to Liger. Everyone bows and Liger bows to everyone else. As wrestlers exit, Liger shakes their hands. Fans cheer and Liger waves to them all.

But then the next wave of wrestlers comes out, it’s Team Chaos! Kazuchika Okada, Rocky Romero and Will Ospreay lead the way, and they take their turn joining Liger in the ring. They have their photo opportunity with Liger, and Okada presents the flowers to Liger. Okada also makes sure to get a Chaos selfie with Liger, too. Next up is the chairman of NJPW, Naoki Sugabayashi, with flowers on behalf of the company. They also pose for pictures while Chaos stays ringside. The CEO, Harold George Meij presents flowers and a hug for Liger. Next, Mrs. Liger, Chikage, joins her husband in the ring for flowers and hugs. Fans cheer as he gives her playful pats on the head. And there’s also son of Liger, Takamatsu, here to hug and present flowers. Liger gives his son playful bops, and then the Liger Family stands together for pictures. Everyone, fans and wrestlers, applaud this wonderful moment. Takamatsu wipes a happy tear from his eyes before he and Mrs. Liger exit.

Now, a special video message plays. It’s Tony Inoki! He wishes Liger well on this day. To think Liger wrestled for 31 years. Inoki thanks and congratulates Liger on his amazing career. What an amazing moment in itself!

And now, Liger addresses the crowd himself. Liger debuted in the Tokyo Dome, and was fortunate enough to end his career in the Tokyo Dome. To Hiromu Takahashi, the last man to pin him ever, Liger is grateful to have been retired by such a great young Junior Heavyweight. And now, to the fans that have followed and supported Liger for any number of the 31 years he’s wrestled, Liger thanks you. The pro-wrestler known as Jushin Thunder Liger is no longer, but NJPW will continue to thrive and grow thanks to everyone here. Liger wants to finish on a personal note. Liger wants to thank his mother, who despite her advanced age made it all the way from Hiroshima to Tokyo to watch his final match in person. “Oka-chan. Thank you for raising me since birth, and I have nothing but gratitude.” And to his wife and son, Liger apologizes for leaving them alone during all his travels as a wrestler. But now, he’s coming home, so apologies for having to put with him now. For these 31 years, thank you so much! Liger bows and the fans erupt with cheers.

And now, to truly say good-bye to Liger, we have a 10 bell salute. It is hard not to get emotional as such a historic and iconic career comes to its final chapter. Fans, family and fellow wrestlers applaud the final call for Jushin Thunder Liger! But before Liger leaves, Okada, Tanahashi and others insist on one last moment together in the ring. They gather together to lift Liger high into the air! Hurrah! Hurrah! A Japanese tradition is the greatest gift this generation’s wrestlers can give one of the greatest of all time. Tanahashi speaks now to have everyone do their best in singing the Liger theme song! The whole arena joins in, and with that, one more bow from everyone to Liger and Liger to everyone. #LongLiveLigerism!

 

8 Man Tag: Chaos VS Suzuki-Gun!

Despite not being IWGP Heavyweight Champion anymore, The Rainmaker will still lead Yoshi-Hashi and the Birds of Prey into battle against the meanest faction in NJPW! Who makes a clean start in the New Year?

Zack Sabre Jr taunts Will Ospreay as being the only one between them with a title to hold. He literally rubs it in Ospreay’s face, so Ospreay grabs hold of the belt. At the same time, Taichi stares down Okada, suddenly emboldened now that Okada has fallen from grace. The referee does his best to cool things off, and the groups sort out to give us Ospreay and ZSJ! The bell rings for faction warfare!

Ospreay and ZSJ circle and tie up fast and Ospreay wristlocks but ZSJ breaks free. They go again. ZSJ wristlocks but Ospreay reverses. The two circle and tie up again, ZSJ rolls but Ospreay cartwheels to keep with him. Lance Archer barks insults at Rocky Romero, who simply sits on commentary. ZSJ wrenches, wrenches but Ospreay reverses to wrench back. ZSJ bridges, wrenches, Ospreay sins and trips ZSJ and has a standing toehold! Fans cheer but ZSJ turns, rises and reels Ospreay in with legs to get a cravat. ZSJ cranks hard but Ospreay endures. Ospreay breaks free but ZSJ is back on him, only for Ospreay to arm-drags. ZSJ blocks a kick and trips but Ospreay returns that leg reel, only for ZSJ to Bow ‘n’ Arrow, but Ospreay pops out to a cover! ONE and Ospreay runs to huricanrana!

Fans cheer as Ospreay gets the better of this fast and furious back and forth. Tag to Robbie Eagles and the Birds of Prey double whip ZSJ. They double elbow, split the wishbone and then double kick! Fans fire up with Chaos while Eagles covers, ONE. Eagles keeps on ZSJ with a leg but ZSJ cranks Eagles’ head! They break, Eagles KICKS! And KICKS! Eagles has ZSJ on the ropes but ZSJ European Uppercuts. Eagles CHOPS and runs but into a cheapshot from Minoru Suzuki! Eagles swings on Suzuki but gets caught into a draping armbar! Suzuki-Gun attacks Chaos’ corner! Taichi has Okada while Archer goes after Hashi, which of course leaves Ospreay and ZSJ to fight. Suzuki lets go of his armbar to drag Eagles out to throw into railing!

Fans are warned to be careful as this brawl goes all over the arena! ZSJ has Ospreay in a cobra twist right in front of fans while Suzuki bounces Eagles’ face off the commentary desk! Suzuki rips the railing apart to wedge Eagles under them! And then he throws chairs down on Eagles! Suzuki grins as he admires his handiwork. Suzuki drags Eagles to the ramp while Taichi keeps on Okada. Taichi throws Okada into the post! A ring count finally begins, and Suzuki-Gun lets up on Chaos to pick on Young Lions. ZSJ gets in the ring to represent Suzuki-Gun but Eagles has to hurry! The count passes 15 of 20! It reaches 18! Eagles is in at 19, but ZSJ wrenches him to tag Suzuki. Suzuki and ZSJ pass the arm wrench back and forth between each other, and then ZSJ BOOTS Eagles down!

Suzuki pulls way back on Eagles’ arm and then the fingers! He tortures Eagles’ wing but Eagles refuses to quit. Tag to Taichi, and Suzuki throws Eagles out of the ring. Suzuki keeps Ospreay out as Taichi whips Eagles into railing! The Sliest Wrestler wraps Eagles’ arm around railing, then kicks it! Eagles writhes but Taichi gets in the ring. Suzuki gets away with bending Eagles’ arm around the post! Chaos protests but Taichi throws Okada out. The ref finally notices and Suzuki-Gun leaves Eagles alone. Eagles gets in the ring but Taichi tags in Archer. The Murderhawk circles Eagles and dares him to stand. Fans rally for Eagles and Archer gives him a free shot. Eagles throws a forearm but it doesn’t do enough. He fires off so many, but it just takes one RIGHT from Archer to blast Eagles down!

Eagles crawls to a corner, Archer runs in but Eagles boots him. Archer tries again but gets another boot. And another! Eagles cravats but Archer powers out to run and DERAIL! Archer laughs at Eagles, but then tells the fans to “SHUT UP!” Archer scoop slams Eagles hard, then TOSSES him to the Suzuki-Gun corner. Tag to ZSJ and the Submission Master taunts Ospreay while he toys with his tag partner. ZSJ throws a big EuroUpper, but Eagles throws body shots. ZSJ EuroUppers then grinds boots into Eagles. As do Suzuki and Taichi! The ref backs ZSJ off so ZSJ sucker punches Ospreay! Tag to Suzuki and the master and disciple both torture Eagles, hammerlock and toehold! The ref reprimands but Taichi and Archer get in to watch Chaos.

Suzuki and ZSJ rotate position and now both have a toehold on Eagles! ZSJ even adds a crossface but the ref counts. ZSJ gets out so Suzuki stomps Eagles down. Fans rally for “Robbie! Robbie!” but Suzuki keeps stomping Eagles. Eagles CHOPS but it doesn’t even make Suzuki flinch. Suzuki eggs Eagles on and Eagles throws more chops, but it takes just one SLAP from Suzuki to floor him. Suzuki drags Eagles up to throw knees and forearms against the ropes. Suzuki stands Eagles up to DECK him with that right! Archer laughs in Eagles’ face as he flops to the floor. Fans rally up and Suzuki eggs Eagles on more. Eagles manages to rise but Suzuki throws knees. Suzuki whips, Eagles reverses but his dropkick is denied! Archer runs over and attacks Chaos while Suzuki puts Eagles in a CALF KILLER!

Eagles endures but refuses to quit! Suzuki shifts to catch the other leg for another toehold on top of this! Eagles crawls, shouts, reaches, but Suzuki pulls him away from the ropes. Suzuki shifts to a KNEEBAR!! Eagles is flailing, kicking, but he manages to roll! Taichi keeps the rope away but Eagles still gets the ROPEBREAK! Suzuki lets go but continues to taunt and toy with Eagles. Suzuki drags Eagles up and slaps him around, Eagles hits back! Kick, kick and WINDMILL! Both men are down and fans rally up! Eagles hurries to hot tag HASHI! The Headhunter runs in, but into Archer’s choke grip! Archer lifts but Hashi pops out, to throw forearm after forearm! Archer blocks the whip, sends Hashi to a corner, then runs in. Hashi dodges, Archer gets buckles, Hashi AX BOMBER in the corner!

Hashi whips Archer but Archer reverses, but Hashi dropkicks a knee out! BLOCKBUSTER! Hashi fights off ZSJ but Taichi kicks and whips. Hashi huricanranas! Fans fire up with Hashi as he goes back to Archer. Hashi tries to suplex but Archer is just too big! Hashi keeps trying, getting Archer higher, but Archer suplexes Hashi! Hashi fights out, wrenches and runs to lariat! Archer stays up but Hashi keeps trying! That second clothesline staggers Archer to a knee, but then Archer LARIATS Hashi! Both men are down but Archer sits up and heads for his corner. Tag to Taichi and he toys with Hashi. Taichi drags Hashi up but Hashi gives forearms. Taichi laughs as he eggs Hashi on. Hashi CHOPS, so Taichi chokes Hashi! The ref counts, Taichi lets up and whips Hashi.

Hashi dodges, kicks and mule kicks! Fans rally as Hashi is down but heading for the corner! Hot tag to Okada! The Rainmaker goes after Taichi with fast forearms and a whip. Taichi reverses but Okada dodges to elbow back! Okada has to clutch his neck before bringing Taichi up to a corner. Okada whips corner to corner an druns in to hit a back elbow! Taichi knows the routine and counters the DDT with a SAIDO! The rest of Suzuki-Gun wrecks Chaos on the outside and all around the ring as Taichi looms over Okada. Taichi aims as Okada sits up, BUZZSAW! Cover, TWO!! Okada survives but Taichi vows to end it. Off come the pants! But Eagles missile dropkicks outta nowhere! Suzuki gets Eagles in a sleeper, Ospreay HOOK KICKS Suzuki down!

ZSJ jumps onto Ospreay with a guillotine, but Ospreay pops out. ZSJ wrenches and Peles the arm! Hashi AX BOMBERS ZSJ! Archer runs in, BLACK HOLE SLAM! Okada baits Archer in to dropkick him down! Fans fire up as Okada goes back to Taichi. Okada drags Taichi up, Taichi kicks low! And wait, he has the steel claw of Takashi Iizuka?! Taichi CLAWS Okada!!

Winners: Chaos, by disqualification

Taichi kicks the ref down and grabs his mic stand! Taichi drags Okada up to choke him with the stand! Eagles runs in but Taichi clubs him down with the stand! Taichi circles Okada as Suzuki-Gun continues to beat down Chaos around the ring. Taichi puts on the claw again, but thinks better of it. Ospreay and ZSJ fight on the ramp as Taichi stands on Okada’s head. The Holy Emperor drags Okada back up and reels him in, but wait! Is that… MOXLEY!? The Death Rider is still in Japan! And he’s coming out of the crowd! The IWGP United States Champion storms his way to the ring and Taichi bails out. But Suzuki gets in!

The King and the Maniac meet again. Moxley and Suzuki get face to face, and start brawling! They go back and forth with forearm for forearm, but Suzuki grins. Suzuki SLAPS Moxley, Moxley laughs. Moxley SLAPS Suzuki! It’s a slap fight! SLAP, SLAP, SLAP! Moxley kicks low, DEATH RIDER!! Now things are even between them! “It feels like we’ve got some unfinished business.” Moxley tells Suzuki, “Don’t ever step on my territory again.” The IWGP United States Champion tells that anyone who screws with him goes down. And yet, Suzuki is smiling on the mat. He even laughs as he staggers out and tears up the railing. Will 2020 get even wilder from here?

 

 

SANADA & Tetsuya Naito VS Jay White & KENTA!

Los Ingobernables de Japon is on a roll! Bushi, Evil and Shingo Takagi have the NEVER Openweight Six Man titles, and their leader is the first-ever Double Gold Champion! But that leaves Cold Skull feeling a bit down since he missed getting the RPW British Heavyweight Championship. And even then, Bullet Club’s #FangRevived had to ruin the fun when he attacked Naito at the end of Wrestle Kingdom Night 2. Will LIJ rebound from their bittersweet start to 2020?

White laughs as Kevin Kelly asks about his declaration that no one would “push their way to the front of the line,” meaning Kenta calling Naito out like he did. But White says, “You think I didn’t know that was going to happen?” But White doesn’t have anything to explain to us. Gedo says it’s all for one and one for all, but will that stay true through the New Year?

As soon as Naito is in the ring, he attacks Kenta! The Double Gold Champion wants revenge and he stomps Kenta at the railing! So White and Sanada start, almost as if Naito isn’t whipping Kenta into railing! Kevin Kelly continues to wonder if Bullet Club is (not) fine. White stomps Sanada down then tells Red Shoes to tell Naito to go back to the LIJ corner. Naito does, White whips but Sanada handsprings through the hip toss. Sanada arm-drags White then dropkicks him out! Fans fire up as Sanada builds speed. White slides in so Sanada simply tumbles out to the apron. Gedo goes after Sanada, and then White hotshots Sanada down! Gedo laughs as White stomps Sanada down. Naito runs White off and White shouts for Red Shoes. Red Shoes keeps the peace and Naito returns to the corner.

White drags Sanada up to whip into railing! So Naito goes after White! Kenta goes after Naito! Kenta whips Naito into railings HARD, and Naito tumbles over into the aisle! Kenta goes after Naito and drags him up for fast hands against the railing. Fans are warned to be careful, Kenta drops Naito with a DDT! Kenta soaks up the heat, proud to be the most hated man in NJPW! Kenta mocks the fans rallying for Naito while White keeps Sanada down in the ring. White stands on Sanada much like Kenta does on Naito, but lets up at Red Shoes’ count. White drags Sanada up for a neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Fans rally but Kenta mocks them again. White points to Kenta and fans boo. They don’t want to see him in, so that’s exactly why White tags Kenta in!

Kenta grins and mocks the booing while also walking all over Sanada. Kenta sits Sanada up to KICK! Fans again tell Kenta to “Go Away! Go Away!” but he just conducts them like an orchestra. Kenta whips Sanada to elbow down, then he sucker punches Naito! Kenta then goes out to whip Naito into railings HARD again! Kenta looms over Naito as fans boo, so Kenta stands on Naito and soaks it all in. Kenta returns to Sanada in the ring and drags him up for a whip into the Bullet Club corner. Kenta throws hands then tags White in. White stomps a mudhole into Sanada and then grinds his boot in. He lets up before Red Shoes counts, then yanks Sanada into a chinlock. White grinds Sanada down but fans rally up.

Sanada fights his way up, fights out with elbows but White clubs him back. White whips, elbows Sanada down, then throws up a Too Sweet. White covers, TWO. White drags Sanada up to feed to Kenta’s boot. Tag to Kenta, and Kenta throws haymakers. Sanada staggers so Kenta sucker punches Naito again! Kenta goes back to Sanada but enjoys the jeering. Kenta makes it a dance before he throws EuroUppers on Sanada in the open corner. Kenta whips Sanada but Sanada boots back! Sanada hops up and missile dropkicks Kenta down! Fans cheer as Sanada and Kenta crawl for their corners. Hot tag to Naito! The Double Gold Champion throws all kinds of strikes on Kenta. Naito whips, Kenta reverses but Naito holds ropes. Naito runs and blocks Kenta’s boot to get him for the backbreaker! And then the basement dropkick!

Kenta goes to a corner but White runs in, only to get a hip toss and basement dropkick of his own! Naito goes back to Kenta and stomps him down. Naito whips Kenta corner to corner, runs in and blocks more boots. Kenta tries to kick Naito away but Naito holds on, and SPITS on Kenta! Naito turns Kenta around, draping backbreaker! Then he drags Kenta up for a neckbreaker! Fans fire up with the LIJ pose! Naito toys with Kenta then brings him up to push around. Kenta gets in Naito’s face and throws a forearm. Naito gives it back, so Kenta forearms again. Naito again returns the forearm, and now it’s a brawl! They even speed up! Naito gets the edge, and enziguris! Kenta wobbles, Naito whips but Kenta reverses and Kenta kicks away on the bad leg! Naito hobbles but Kenta eggs him on. Naito swings but into Kenta’s DDT!

Kenta tags White and White grins as he circles Naito. White grabs the bad leg and stomps away, then hits a grounded DRAGON SCREW! Naito crawls and hobbles to a corner but he elbows White away. Naito blocks the kick to hit the knee, then huricanranas! Fans rally as both men stir, tag to Sanada! Sanada throws hands on White then whips. White reverses but Sanada dodges to dropkick White’s leg out! Kenta runs in but Sanada dropkicks him out! Sanada takes aim to PESCADO Kenta! Sanada gets back in to PESCADO for White! Fans rally up for Sanada as he puts White back in. Sanada takes aim from the apron and springboards, but White gets under. Sanada comes back and blocks the boot, to trip White up and… No, White kicks out of Paradise!

Sanada runs in, misses in the corner but boots White! Sanada runs but White uses Red Shoes as a shield! Sanada stops himself, blocks White’s sneak attack and waistlocks. White standing switches and ducks Sanada’s elbow to SAIDO Sanada down! Both men are down but fans rally back up. White gets up first and sucker punches Naito HARD! Naito hits railing as he falls down! White runs and EuroUppers Sanada in a corner, then hits Blade Buster! Cover, TWO! White grows frustrated while fans rally again. White drags Sanada up but Sanada fights with elbows. White throws Sanada down by his hair! White drags Sanada back up but Naito dropkicks White down! Kenta runs in to BOOT Naito! Sanada dropkicks Kenta’s legs out! Sanada fireman’s carries White but White slips out to suplex, but Sanada slips out to dragon sleeper!

Sanada cranks back on Skull End but Gedo is getting in, so Sanada kicks the ropes! The ropes get Gedo in the huevos! Fans cheer that most of all. Sanada spins White, cravat to Shiranui, into Skull End! Sanada cranks and SWINGS White around, and then drops him down! Sanada goes to the corner, climbs fast, and MOONSAULTS! White dodges but Sanada lands on his feet. White grabs Sanada but Sanada slips out to get the Skull End, but White snapmares free. White swings a clothesline but gets caught into Skull End again, but White slips out again! Sleeper but Sanada slips out, only to swing into the SLEEPER SUPLEX! And then Kenta whips Naito into railing again! White drags Sanada up while Kenta rains down hands, Sanada slips out of Blade Runner to O’Conner Roll! BRIDGE, SANADA WINS!!

Winners: Sanada & Naito, Sanada pinning

The Cold Skull catches Switchblade off guard and Bullet Club is shocked! So White LOW BLOWS Sanada! A sore loser indeed, but Kenta goes after Naito again! Kenta even beats up Young Lions that come near! White rains down rights on Sanada and warns Young Lions not even to think about it. Kenta puts Naito in the ring and slithers up. Bullet Club beats up LIJ with hands and knees. Gedo gathers chairs for his guys, and fans boo as White and Kenta take one each. Cheers, DOUBLE CHAIR SHOTS! White and Kenta beat Sanada and Naito down until the seats pop off! Then they choke them with the chairs! Fans again shout, “GO AWAY! GO AWAY!” but White gets a mic instead.

“Wow! Wow, wow, wow. It looks like a new opportunity has presented itself to me.” White looms over Sanada as he tells him that he’s been “believing too much in yourself” lately, so White will bring him back to reality! And the reality is that Sanada, just like the fans, is beneath White. White then hands the mic to the hated Kenta. Fans boo even harder before Kenta speaks. Basically, for those in Japan that don’t speak English, “Jay just called you a bunch of idiots.” Kenta again dances to the Go Away chants before mockingly thanking all the fans for being here, as well as last night in the Tokyo Dome. Did they enjoy what he did to Naito? No, they didn’t. Well Kenta loved it! Kenta also loves hearing the fans boo and jeer, so he encourages them to keep going. More! More! Okay shut up, because he’s not going home.

Kenta says LIJ fans are gross. But he asks Naito if he wants to know Kenta’s plan. Kenta plans on taking BOTH belts from him! And then Kenta kicks Naito back down! Kenta eyes the IWGP Intercontinental and Heavyweight Championships, and picks them both up. Kenta puts them down by Naito before stomping him down, and then Bullet Club throws up the Low Sweet. But don’t play the music just yet! Kenta doesn’t want LIJ’s music, he wants his! And so that is what plays now. Will Bullet Club take over again under the Switchblade and Fang Revived?

 


 

My Thoughts:

A really great event to carry over from Wrestle Kingdom 14 for a three-day weekend of NJPW. Obviously, I wanted to make sure we got the farewell ceremony to Liger. That was a great, genuine moment for this company and all of wrestling. As for matches, I didn’t want to go too long, a lot of New Year Dash is basically filler, but what felt most important was the stuff coming directly out of the Double Gold Dash story. Okada has Taichi after him, thinking he can step up to the Rainmaker now that the Rainmaker is back on a downswing. That will be a big match for Taichi but I would hope Okada wins. Ospreay and ZSJ seem to be starting a feud as fellow British wrestlers in Japan. That Rev-Pro title match is going to be a lot of fun.

Moxley making a surprise appearance was great, we need Moxley VS Suzuki for the IWGP US Championship to be No Disqualification at least to really make things feel special. And then the main event tag was of course the best choice, Kenta makes it obvious he wants to be the next Double Gold Champion one way or another, so there’s going to be a lot of creativity in how NJPW books this as the months go by.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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