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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Results & Ratings 5/5/2020

Impact’s first post Rebellion show! How does Michael Elgin respond to his weird loss? Is the TNA Heavyweight Championship back to stay?

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Impact’s first post Rebellion show! How does Michael Elgin respond to his weird loss? Is the TNA Heavyweight Championship back to stay?

One of the best things to come out of quarantine is the fact that we get a real show after the PPV. Normally they have been handling the after PPV shows as just clip recap shows with like two new matches. But now we get a real show!

Michael Elgin will be coping with his loss. Sami Callihan is supposed to address his loss. If Twitter is to cause any inference, we’ll probably see them interact soon; since they’ve been taking shots at each other since Rebellion.

Curious to also see where Ken Shamrock’s win and Moose’s resurrection(?) of the TNA Heavyweight Champion takes us.

This should be interesting, to say the least!

Ratings:

  • Jake Crist & Madman Fulton vs XXXL (Acey Romero & Larry D): Larry D via The Best Hand in the House – ***
  • Johnny Swinger vs Suicide: Suicide wins via Swanton Bomb – **
  • Joseph P Ryan vs Cousin Jake: Ryan wins via Roll-Up w/tights – ** 1/2
  • X Division Championship: Chris Bey vs Willie Mack (c) vs Ace Austin: Willie Mack retains 6 Star Frog Splash – *** 3/4

Results:

Sami Callihan comes out with some well thought out words, and an obvious limp. Ken Shamrock answers Sami’s call out, walks to the middle and puts over Callihan. Talks about the different people he tapped, but Sami didn’t tap; and Ken is willing to squash their problem and focus on the World title. Michael Elgin interrupts, thinks he’s still first in line and Sami has a great line. 

Elgin has the fighting words with both Shamrock and Callihan. Elgin drops Callihan, Shamrock Judo Throws Elgin down; Sami looks for the Piledriver but Elgin rolls out. Sami and Ken have a moment of “will they, won’t they” and Sami does his disappearing act with the cell phone.

Chris Bey promo in the back talking about taking the belt off Willie Mack and making the X Division the Finesse division.

Jake Crist & Madman Fulton vs XXXL (Acey Romero & Larry D)

Well the writing was a little too obvious on the wall. Ohio Versus Everything has been in a tailspin since Sami left, then he threw them away during his match at Rebellion. So what’s next for them? Losing…just losing with style.

Madman had some fun power moments with the big guys. He hit a Rolling Senton with Acey Romero on his shoulders, and generally had the advantage over Acey. We even saw a Doomsday Cutter, but XXXL broke up the pin attempt. Acey wiped out Madman, Dave got knocked out by Larry and Jake tried to take advantage of the tiny distraction; but ate the fist for his troubles.

Better match than expected, but oVe losing is no surprise.

ImpactPlus Flashback Moment: Mick Foley vs Kurt Angle, TNA World Heavyweight Championship, Victory Road July 19,2009

Locker Room Talk is great. They reference Nevaeh, but Havok gives no answers…and we get another debut. Not sure if we’re seeing a friends and family discount during quarantine, but Kimber Lee is Zachary Wentz fiancee – and an accomplished wrestler in her own right. So she’s definitely a great pick up for the Knockouts Division. Shimmer, Rise and some time in Stardom, she’s good stuff.

Johnny Swinger vs Suicide

There’s some under current of funny when Swinger was just in the Locker Room Talk segment hitting on both guests, and Zachary Wentz is the one under the Suicide mask at the moment. See why it’s a little funny? Swinger does take an early advantage and taking some dirty tactics, but Suicide fights back. This Suicide is great since he actually does the original moves, with a few little flairs. Wentz took notes, and I love seeing Suicide back in action.

Joseph P Ryan vs Cousin Jake

Joseph plays the stalling heel who’s in no real rush to get into the ring. So we get a little bit of a chase, while Ryan finds some openings. Jake definitely shows off his power and his country strong ability, but Joseph finds ways to earn breathers. Jake runs into a Superkick, but kicks out at two. It looks like Joseph’s about to get murdered, but the referee gets pulled in, almost squished; and then Jake gets poked in the eyes and rolled up with the tights.

More enjoyable than I initially thought it was going to be.

The North’s entire title defense segment is cheesy, comedic, cinematic gold. If you were they type of person to like the Firefly Funhouse, you’ll like this. Here’s a taste:

X Division Championship: Chris Bey vs Willie Mack (c) vs Ace Austin

Chris Bey called his shot, Willie showed that he’s a fighting champion and Ace saw an opportunity. Early on Chris and Ace work together trying to keep Willie down, but a Double Stacked Samoan Drop into his Standing Moonsault; sent the heels retreating and regrouping a little. The answer, obviously, was Ace throwing Chris head first into the ring post.

Commentary was great here because they poked fun at the usual cliche line of “no friends in wrestling”; so Josh and Madison have proven that they are seriously the best commentary team during quarantine (that’s including Jericho and Schiavone).

Even through two commercial breaks, this was a hell of a match, with great high spots. Chris flies across the ring while Willie and Ace are fighting on the top rope, and hits a German Suplex, which comes down a little too much on him since his mouth is visibly bleeding. Ace hits a Fold on each guy, but the pinfalls get broken up. Chris sells Willie’s Stunner like Scott Hall, but it doesn’t end the match. Ace gets pissed off and lights up Willie, looking to finish him with a Frankensteiner or something to the effect. Willie fight him off and watches Ace crash, hits a 6 Star Frog Splash, and retains!

 

Overall Score: 8/10

Wow, Rosemary’s segment, the opening promo, Rohit’s promo and The North were just amazing. There’s so much to love about this episode, it’s really hard for me to even try to nit pick. Impact put on a great match, breaking the 4th wall just enough to add to the situation instead of feel over done. We also learn that Suicide will get a TNA Heavyweight Championship match next week. So…it’s a real title? Even Melissa Santos wasn’t sure.

Dance like a clown, watch Urkel videos in the dark…man I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. This was just surprisingly great, and my ability to nit pick exploded and died in the desert. Tune in next week to see if the show continues to ignite my enjoyment of this hobby!


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Andrew’s TNA Xplosion Results & Match Ratings: 2.16.2024

Rich Swann…how dumb are you going to be? Do we see 0-4 in this current TNA incarnation?

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So let’s see if this will give us anything to talk about. Trent Seven will make his TNA ring debut technically, and Rich Swann is going to continue this reign of stupidity where he gets distracted from help. I can’t tolerate the level of babyface stupid Swann has looked during this. Who does this help? It ain’t Francis and it ain’t Rich. If we get an evil Rich payoff who just becomes a mega heel…maybe. But it’s painful.

Ratings:

  • Trent Seven vs Shera: Trent wins via BirmingHammer – ** 1/2
  • Rich Swann vs John Skyler w/Jason Hotch –

 

Results:

Trent Seven vs Shera

So, Shera gonna be the jobbing gatekeeper of getting momentum for bigger matches. Either that, or Maclin interferes to give Shera a dirty win, but Shera eating the pin seems more likely to me.

Simple tie up that turns into Shera laying in the Shoulder Tackle, trying to bully Trent, but he slips a Slam attempt, lights up Shera with a few chops and then a Snap DDT. Shera powders after the DDT, makes space, slides in, Trent follows, and Shera runs the ropes, ducks the Lariat and a Big Boot sends Trent’s tooth flying and drops him. Shera starts manhandling Trent, running him from corner to corner, Stalling Suplex after the corner attack and Trent has had no offense. Shera goes for a goozle, Trent tries to fight back with some punches, bounces off the ropes and eats a Spinebuster.

Shera then goes to the top turnbuckle, looking for something big and unusual from him. So of course Trent cuts him off with Chops, Headbutts and a big Superplex finally gives Trent and opening. Overhand chop from Trent, tries another Suplex, but Shera blocks and rains down some clubbing forearms. Trent tries to fire, Pop & Bang, some apron battling but Shera gets the best of things, Chokeslam on the apron, rolls Trent back in and Trent kicks out.

Going for the frustration chokes, Shera is trying anything but Trent chops a few times, Backfist, Lariat, for…a near fall. Trent keeps slapping the back of Shera, BirmingHammer for the win!

Don West, You’ve Got to be Kidding Me! Trending Topics of the week:

5. MK Ultra getting their rematch

4. Trinity’s final TNA match

3. Moose & Alex Shelley’s stupid stipulation match

2. Simon Gotch’s revenge

1. Rebellion declaration for April 20th

“Around the Ring” with Gia Miller and her guest Xia Brookside. Apparently they bonded over accents and horses. So it seems like Xia just has an affinity for cowboys and stuff, so Gia was totally up her alley. They make a little country posse, its cute, but cringey…but cute. 

TNA+ Flashback Moment: Sting vs Mr Anderson vs Kurt Angle – No Surrender 2011

Always nice to see the classic stuff from the pinnacle of TNA. 

Image

Rich Swann vs John Skyler w/Jason Hotch

If Rich goes 0-4…I will be, AJ Francis shows up for commentary. Christ…Rich is gonna lose to the other Good Hand ain’t he?

Rich Swann and Skyler go back and forth but you’re always just waiting for the shoe to drop. Rich has the advantage, goes to the top for the Phoenix Splash, Hotch gets up on the apron and AJ Francis leave commentary and takes out Hotch. But for some stupid reason Swann is distracted by the assistance, then Skyler hits an Avalanche Forward Rolling Senton for the win.

I can’t even understand the level of moronic babyface Rich Swann is for this angle.

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

This was…the definition of useless. Trent’s match was okay, but obvious because Shera is a gatekeeper to looking decent before a major match. Rich, as I’ve said many times, just looks unabashedly stupid. I’m over this, Rich needs to turn heel at No Surrender or within a week or so. All of this was cringey, stupid and a waste of time, especially Xia and Gia.

Ugh.


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 2.15.2024

Can Savannah Evans save her spot with Gisele Shaw? Can the Grizzled Young Vets win the series 2-0 and become the new Tag Champs? Find out!

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So we get some No Surrender story implications with Kushida versus Moose, we get GYV vs ABC II, Jake Something confronts Kaz in the ring and Savannah Evans gets her shot to stay with Gisele or go to the chopping block with Jai Vidal.

Even if some of the matches vibe like they’re gonna be gimmicky finishes, we should see some story movement at least.

Ratings:

  • Jake Something vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via Dirty Pinfall – ** 3/4
  • Savannah Evans w/Gisele Shaw vs Jordynne Grace: Grace wins via Kinniku Buster – **
  • Best 2 Matches out of 3 for the Tag Team Championships, Match 2 (GYV 1-0): Grizzled Young Vets vs The ABC (c): ABC wins via Prawn Hold – *** 1/4
  • Digital Media Championship: Rhino vs Crazzy Steve (c): Steve retains via Pinfall after Title Belt Shot to Head – **
  • Deaner vs Joe Hendry:
  • Killer Kelly w/Masha Slamovich vs Dani Luna w/Jody Threat: Dani wins via Victory Roll – * 1/2
  • Moose vs Kushida: Moose wins via Lights Out – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Jake Something vs Frankie Kazarian

Kaz takes a moment early as he retreats to the ropes when Jake tries to walk at him. Kaz sneaks him, tries a Whip, but Jake holds fast and uses his size and power to take over the match. Thesz Press into an Irish Whip that flings Kaz out of the ring, Kaz looks shocked, collects himself, tries to get back in the ring but Jake Lariats Kaz back to the outside. After a little showmanship, Jake goes to follow up but Kaz shoves him into the steps, then gets to the apron, thumbs the eye and gets Jake chasing into a Guillotine Leg Drop, and Frankie is back in control.

After a quick near fall, Kaz goes for a few chops and Jake asks for more. So the chops are just pissing the big man off, but Kaz works him into the corner, the ref calls for a break and Kaz breaks into the ropes so he can land a cheap shot when the referee turns for space after the “break”. Jake puts the brakes on an Irish Whip again, but when he tries to grab Frankie, Frankie floats over and lays in a few strikes to try and chop the big man down. Jake tries to fire, comes off the ropes but Kaz Scoop Slam into the Springboard Guillotine for 2. Chicken Wing attempt but Jake fights it off. Kaz goes for the Backdrop, Something rolls with it, gets some distance, so when Kaz turns his eats a Discus Forearm and here comes the big man.

Throws a few strikes, tries a Spear into the corner, but Kaz moves and Jake stops himself. Chicken Wing attempt from Kaz, Jake fights it off, turns it into a Michinoku Driver for 2! Jake goes for Into the Void, but Kaz counters into a Chicken Wing attempt, Jake shakes him off, Kaz baits him into the Inside Out DDT for 2. Jake tries the corner Spear again, but Kaz up and over; this time Jake eats the post! Kaz drags Jake to the top turnbuckle, wants the Flux Capacitor, but Jake counters looking for an Avalanche Powerbomb, but Kaz slips it and then picks the ankle as Jake crashes hard off the turnbuckles! Kaz with the Fold Up Cover in the corner, and grabs the ropes for leverage and the 3 count!

Savannah Evans w/Gisele Shaw vs Jordynne Grace

With Gisele looking like she barely wants to be associated with Savannah, Savannah comes out angry and plows through Jordynne. Snap Suplex, Windmill Punches, Spear into the corner and a Butterfly Suplex for 2. Jordynne finally starts to stifle Savannah’s offense with a Back Elbow. Sunset Flip from Jordynne is blocked, but Jordynne turns around and kicks Evans into the corner. Suplex into a Vader Bomb for 2!

Big Boot from Savannah gives her a shot and she climbs the ropes near Gisele to tell her that she’ll handle it, but the distraction allows a big Backfist from Jordynne and the Kinniku Buster for the win!

Gisele hits the ring, lays out Jordynne with the X. Savannah grins and thinks Gisele is still with her, but then Gisele clocks Savannah as well! Denouement and Gisele poses over Jordynne with the X and title. 

Best 2 Matches out of 3 for the Tag Team Championships, Match 2 (GYV 1-0): Grizzled Young Vets vs The ABC (c)

Gibson and Bey start, but Gibson wants Ace after they injured him last week. Bey doesn’t want to oblige, so he shakes off everyone chanting for Ace. Gibson tries to run roughshod early, but Bey goes for the redirect on the rope run, into a Thesz Press, rains down a few punches and then tags in Ace for quick tandem moves. After some quick spots, Ace tags back out and Bey tries to keep the momentum going, but Gibson drives him into the GYV corner and tags in Drake.

Bey doesn’t eat too much offense, turns things around on Drake quickly and tags Ace back in. Assisted Russian Leg Sweep, into Click Click Boom for 2. Ace lays in a few Forearms before the GYV plan takes shape and Drake shoves Ace into his corner, distracts the ref and Gibson ties up Ace’s bad arm. Big Running Dropkick from Drake while his arm is restrained and Ace spills out. Drake collects Ace and then stay focused on the bad arm. The Triangle Arm Breaker into a Gibson tag and then he focuses short arm Shoulder Tackles on the bad arm, Ace tries to reach to tag out, and Gibson throws Ace via the bad arm and tag Drake back in.

GYV is having a field day finding different ways to attack the bad arm. Stomps, Key Locks, Double Wristlocks, great job focusing the injury. Assisted Shoulder Breaker after laying out Bey! But only a 2 count! Ace grabs the ropes to avoid Gibson’s offense. In and out Shoulder Block, then a Triangle Kick gives Ace a chance to tag out, but Drake tags himself in and blocks Ace. Ace Scoop Slams Drake with one arm basically, ducks the Lariat and tags in Bey! Hot tag time! Knocks off Gibson, a few quick strikes on Drake, Dives out to Gibson, Enzuigiri on Drake when he tries to use the numbers a bit, Gibson comes in and they start a tandem move but Chris dodges, Brainbuster on Drake after Gibson gets knocked out of the ring. Gibson slides back in but so does Ace, Double Kicks, attempt the 1-2-SWEET but Ace’s arm is too banged up. Gibson pulls him out and shoves him into the steps. Bey tries a Plancha but gets swatted away. DOOMSDAY DEVICE from GYV – but only for 2! Gibson tries to set up something, but a Back Elbow into Art of Finesse for space! Ace crawls to the corner, calls for the tag, and simultaneous tags for Drake and Ace.

Ace fights both men, does well until the Arm Wringer on the bad arm screws him over. They set up Grit Your Teeth, Bey picks Gibson’s leg, Drake gets rolled up by Ace and Ace transitions it into a Japanese Clutch/Prawn Hold for the win!

He’s still as captivating as chewing on cardboard while being subjected to NPR. But at least the try smarmy thing works for a heel. 

Digital Media Championship: Rhino vs Crazzy Steve (c)

I’m a little mad that the title isn’t defended on Xplosion because “Digital Media” title. But this is the main show, so I can’t really be TOO angry.

Rhino comes out fast, rocks Steve early and then goes under the ring for a table. You can take the man out of ECW but…yeah, we know how that goes. Steve manages to counter Rhino and then he sees the table; and he puts the table back under the ring. I…don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

Steve does say “No one gets what they want, except for me”, so he’s playing heel nicely. Simple offense on the outside, Rhino Suplexes Steve on the ramp, throws him back in, and then when Rhino tries to enter the ring and the ole middle rope kick for the Low Blow.  Steve goes for his title, the referee stops him, then Steve goes for a corner Senton since that’s where Rhino is propped up and he misses! Shoulder Block into a TKO, for 2! The crowd starts chanting “Gore” but Steve hits a Jawbreaker. As Steve tries to continue he eats a Spinebuster.

Steve pulls out the Abdullah the Butcher fork from his kick pad, so the referee goes to take it from him, Steve throws it across so the ref has to collect it. Steve then uses the title Belt, which was only placed in a corner, to clock Rhino and make the pinfall defense!

Deaner vs Joe Hendry

AJ Francis cuts off Hendry’s music with his own remix diss version. The crowd starts to immediately shit on it though. They chant “boring” and “start the match”. I also never expected to hear an “AJ Sucks” chant in TNA. I do love how Deaner is just in the corner watching all of this, Francis thinks he shocked Hendry but he reveals ANOTHER AJ Francis video! And it’s an AJ Styles “I AM” parody! 

Deaner just attacks Hendry after the video goes off, Francis hits the ring Chokeslams Hendry and admonishes him while Rich Swann hits the ring, lays out Deaner and has a stare down with Francis.

The match never happened, but the I Am parody was worth it.

Killer Kelly w/Masha Slamovich vs Dani Luna w/Jody Threat

Kelly charges but Dani dodges and hits a few quick Suplexes as Kelly crawls to the ropes to ask Masha what to do. It’s a little deranged in a cute way, when Dani tries to keep up pressure, Kelly trips her into the ropes distracts the ref and Masha gets a cheap shot in. Kelly starts smacking and kicking the hell out of Dani chiding “You like that?”, now I don’t think she’s a Kirk Cousins fan, I just think she’s that beautiful type of sadistic crazy. Kelly definitely pushes the edges of most people’s Hot/Crazy scale.

Dani fights to her feet using her power, slams down Kelly and Kelly reaches to Masha to block a German Suplex, Masha gets pulled up to the apron, Jody breaks up the arms being locked up, Dani pushes Kelly forward, MK Ultra bash heads, Victory Roll from Dani for the win! MK attack Dani and Jody afterwards, but Decay make the save.

Guess we’re heading to that Triple Threat at No Surrender I was figuring on.

Moose vs Kushida

Kushida starts quick, some early arm attacks for the Hoverboard Lock, a big Suicida to leave Moose reeling, but he eventually stops Kushida and uses his size to his advantage. The formula to the match is a little basic, Kushida finds a few opportunities to go after the arm, and pepper in some quick offense; but its never effective or believable enough to slow down Moose. Moose starts his version Garvin Stomps as he tries to shake out the arm Kushida has worked on.

Kushida tries to fight back to his feet and eats the Million Dollar Dropkick, then Moose starts choking him with his boot. They go to the outside, Moose slaps him once and Kushida tries to fire, lands a few Slaps and Kicks to the bad arm before getting Scoop Slammed and Moose just rolls into the ring to recover. Kushida crawls back in around 8, and Moose goes into Full Mount raining down punches, and then he dumps Kushida out again. Moose tries the Jacknife on the outside, Kushida counters it into the ropes and on the apron, locking in a Cross Armbar for a while, breaks the hold, PK to the arm, Back to Back Moonsaults for 2 and then Hoverboard Lock attempt! Moose gets his feet to the ropes, but Kushida pulls him to the middle, Moose fights up, Powerbomb attempt, nope, Tanaka Punch, Nope, Powerbomb again turned into the Yoshi Tonic for 2! Back Handspring Elbow from Kushida, but he misses, Moose hits the ropes, Lights Out! Moose wins!

 

Overall Score: 6.75/10

This was an amusing episode. Dango’s segment was amazing, Hendry’s “I Am” parody was gorgeous (Francis’ parody remix wasn’t bad either) and Mustafa may have found a gimmick that can support his lack of charisma. Some solid matches, a bit of build, and the gimmicked matches led to something. Something losing to a dirty pin doesn’t hurt him and just helps Kaz’s heel turn, Savannah getting destroyed puts a nail in the SHAWntourange coffin, Steve using a bunch of cheap tactics prolly lengthens the Rhino angle and Dani getting a surprising win over Kelly most likely sets up a Triple Threat for the Knockouts Tags.

While it points were forgettable, and the whole Ash by Elegance thing was terrible…like it came off like cringe soap opera trash. So I need this to take a big turn real quick or this will just be another “TNA gonna TNA” staple moment. But hey, we will get a decisive third match for the Tag Team Championships, and ABC vs GYV have been solid matches, so you can only expect more of the same from the decider.

Decent enough show with a lot of moving pieces.

 


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