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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (10/26/20)

Who survived Hell in a Cell?

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WWE Raw Coverage 3.0

The more things change, the more they stay the same for Monday Night Raw.

After Hell in a Cell, Randy Orton is once again WWE World Champion! But The Miz is once again Mr. MITB! Will history repeat itself?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier: Jeff Hardy VS AJ Styles; Styles wins and joins Team Raw.
  • Lucha House Party VS Drew Gulak & Akira Tozawa; Lucha House Party wins.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Tag Team Interruptus: R-Truth retains the title.
  • Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier: Keith Lee VS Elias; Keith wins and joins Team Raw.
  • 8 Man Tag Elimination Match: The Hurt Business VS Retribution; The Hurt Business wins, by disqualification.
  • Drew McIntyre VS The Miz w/ John Morrison; McIntyre wins.
  • Survivor Series Women’s Team Raw Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Lana VS Lacey Evans VS Peyton Royce VS Nikki Cross; Lana wins and joins Team Raw.
  • Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier: Sheamus VS Matt Riddle; Sheamus wins and joins Team Raw.

PLAY BY PLAY

Drew McIntyre is here!

Despite falling off the side of the cell through the announce desk and then losing his title, the Scottish Stud is still able to make it for Monday Night Raw! McIntyre gets the mic to say, “I’m trying to think of the words to best express how I feel losing my WWE Championship nearly 24 hours ago to Randy Orton.” The truth is, McIntyre will give no excuses, but one promise: “I will be WWE Champion once again.” But thinking back to the movie Rocky, there’s a quote in that movie that McIntyre lives his life by. “It’s not about hard you’re hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.” That is how you win! If you have followed McIntyre, you know that he gets back up twice as strong!

But you’re also wondering why he’s in such a good word with inspirational quotes, right? He flew off the side of the Cell, roughly 15 feet then through a table and it hurt like hell! But here’s the thing. If you could read his mind right now, if you knew what was going on up in his head, you wouldn’t think that. You’d be scared. But THE MIZ interrupts! He and John Morrison are feeling great after Miz took the Money in the Bank contract from Otis! Miz says, “Bravo, Drew, bravo. Take a bow!” Everyone watching at home should give McIntyre an encore! McIntyre strongly suggests Miz choose his words very carefully. Morrison says they just want to congratulate him. McIntyre swears he’ll drop them where he stands.

Morrison says McIntyre had a great run as champion! He beat Rollins, Lashley and Lesnar. Very impressive. Almost as impressive as become a TWO-TIME Mr. MITB. Miz says to Morrison that all good things must come to an end, including Otis’ run as Mr. MITB and McIntyre’s run as champion. Oh c’mon, McIntyre, take a joke. You’re not a loser, just not a winner. So they’re commending him on not letting that get him down. Now McIntyre won’t have to face Orton as champion. And why would Miz say that? Because, as Miz was going to say before being interrupted, Miz has the briefcase! And this makes him THE Mr. MITB, and he wants us all to know that he is entitled to a world title match any time he wants! Miz has successfully done it before, and who was it against? Randy Orton! CORRECT!

McIntyre says that if they’re going to interrupt him, at least pay attention. They continue to ignore him as Miz asks Morrison where Miz cashed in on Randy Orton. Right here in the Orlando Amway Center! CORRECT! Miz ran down, cashed in, countered the RKO to the Finale and pinned him to become WWE World Champion, #AngryMizGirl, Miz had people celebrating with him, and then Miz celebrated with then future wife Maryse. And this morning, Miz was talking to Maryse on his way here, and he said history could repeat itself! Orton is a guest on A Moment of Bliss. So McIntyre, things could be worse. CORRECT!

Let’s just hypothetically say McIntyre won at HIAC. He would be standing here with the WWE Championship, outnumbered by them. And in that case, Miz would cash in and become WWE Champion, thus putting McIntyre in the same situation he’s in right now: disappointed, frustrated and empty handed. So as embarrassing as this is on the inside, look at the bright side! McIntyre has no more target on his back, doesn’t have to worry about MC M I Z, and it just dawned on Morrison, hopefully it doesn’t take another nineteen years for McIntyre to get back tot he title. Oh, c’mon, McIntyre, it’s a joke! McIntyre doesn’t laugh, he HEADBUTTS Miz! Miz is down from the Glasgow Kiss, and Morrison tries to use the horrible Scottish accent to appease him. NOPE! McIntyre just DECKS Morrison with a right hand! And then hauls him up to whip and OVERHEAD SUPLEX! “Time to fly!” ANOTHER OVERHEAD SUPLEX!

McIntyre scares Miz out of the ring but pursues, to put Morrison back in! McIntyre drags Morrison up, Miz gets in to chop block a leg! The Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century run away, but McIntyre STOMPS the sunglasses they left behind. McIntyre has an idea that he’s going to run by management, and it’ll be a bad Monday for these “friggin’ idiots.” What could McIntyre have in mind?

 

Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier: Jeff Hardy VS AJ Styles w/ Jordan Omogbehin!

The Charismatic Enigma may not have won at HIAC, but he got to give Elias a sample of his own “smash hit.” Will Hardy rebound to join Team Raw at the battle of the brands? Or will the Phenomenal One win with his BIG back-up at ringside?

Raw returns and AJ Styles has a mic. “That’s right! 2-0 baby!” He’s 2-0 on Raw, and is dominating everyone that gets in the ring with him! It is the return of THE PHENOMENAL ERA of Raw! Surely everyone missed him, not that he cares. But let’s get to the question on everyone’s mind, including his: Why is AJ Styles in a qualifying match for Raw’s Survivor Series team? Has he not proven himself worthy? Not just in the WWE, but around the world! Who does he still have to prove himself to? Adam Pearce and the “jokers in the back?” C’mon! But not only should Styles be on the team, but he should be the captain! And it’s simply because of his face right here. The Face that Runs the Place!

And maybe you’ve noticed his new associate. Jordan Omogbehin doesn’t like to be noticed or looked at or talked to. That is a warning. But let’s talk about this match with “the biggest cheater in WWE history,” Jeff Hardy! Hardy used his illegal knee brace to win the Intercontinental Championship from Styles. But the joke’s on Hardy now! If Hardy tries what he did then here tonight, Styles’ associate will wish Hardy never put down the bottle. Hardy makes his entrance after those fighting words, will he shut Styles up and cast aside all doubt?

The bell rings, Styles kicks low and clubs Hardy down! Styles stomps Hardy, drags him up and throws haymakers! Hardy wobbles, Styles whips but Hardy ducks and slides out to dare Styles to follow. Styles does but Hardy goes in to then swing and wreck Styles with that dropkick! Hardy goes out, climbs up the corner, and leaps, but Omogbehin catches him! Omogbehin stares Hardy down this way but Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Styles cranks on a neck wrench. Fans rally for Hardy, he fights up with elbows and body shots, then runs but into an enziguri! Styles drags Hardy up, suplexes and hits a SNAP BRAIN BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Hardy survives and Styles is upset already. Styles paces, goes to the apron, and prepares the arm. Hardy slowly rises, hobbles away, and Styles is frustrated. Styles gets in, waits for Hardy to stand, and runs in, only to miss! Hardy comes back with forearms, atomic drop, leg splitting leg drop! Basement dropkick! Splash down and cover, TWO! Hardy keeps his focus but he does hesitate with Omogbehin so close. Hardy kicks, Styles blocks but Hardy spin back kicks him away! Styles is in the corner, HARDY-AC ATTACK! Cover, TWO!

Styles and Hardy are down after the swinging dropkick, but Hardy rises first. Hardy drags Styles up, Styles fireman’s carries to USHIGOROSHI! Both men are down again but Styles sits up first. Styles drags Hardy up to fire off the Phenomenal Blitz, but into the jawbreaker! Hardy gets Styles for the Russian Leg Sweep, and leg cradle! Cover, TWO!! Styles narrowly pops free but Hardy flounders back up. Hardy hobbles after Styles in a corner and hoists him up top. Hardy throws hands, climbs up and brings Styles up, but Styles resists the superplex! Styles slips through and trips Hardy up! Hardy hits buckles and flounders away but Styles brings him up to torture rack! TOWER HACK BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Hardy still lives but Styles is too tired to be frustrated.

Styles gets back up, drags Hardy up and in but Hardy resists the Clash! Hardy spins out, kicks and Twist, but Styles slips out! Styles Peles but misses, OKLAHOMA ROLL, TWO!! Hardy kicks low and suplexes, GOURD BUSTER! Hardy hurries to a corner but Omogbehin is close again. Hardy still climbs, but Styles gets up to trip Hardy up! Hardy tumbles to the apron and clutches the bad leg. Styles goes out to bring Styles up, Hardy fights back but is denied the Twist! Styles POSTS Hardy then clotheslines him into the ring! Styles aims, springboards, PHENOMENAL FOREARM! Cover, Styles wins!

Winner: AJ Styles, by pinfall (qualifies for the Raw Men’s Team)

Raw’s team is now phenomenal, but you have to think Omogbehin was a distraction just by being there. Will Styles bring that advantage to Raw come Survivor Series?

But then ELIAS attacks Hardy with another GUITAR SMASH! The Drifter won’t let Hardy off the hook, but will he be able to focus on his own qualifier later tonight?

 

Backstage interview with R-Truth.

Truth is still WWE 24/7 Champion after defeating Drew Gulak, before having to run off again. Errybody wants Truth’s baby. But all those guys are going to have their hands full with each other in a tag match. Truth will be there to scout his competition, and to let them know that if they want a piece of the Truth, here he is. Isn’t that dangerous? Being the 24/7 487 7/11 I-95 South European Champion IS dangerous. But he eats dangerously, sleeps dangerously, and his full name is R. Franklin DANGEROUSLY Copperpot Truth. Well then will Mr. Dangerously Truth still have his name on that title after tonight?

 

WWE once again teams with Susan G. Komen to fight breast cancer.

This month, #GiveAMoment of joy, family and love.

 

Lucha House Party VS Drew Gulak & Akira Tozawa!

Lince Dorado, Gran Metalik, the Philly Stretcher and the Stamina Monster all want after R-Truth’s championship, but are looking to clear the other side out of the way first! Which duo moves into pole position for the race to capture the 24/7 487 7/11 I-95 South European Television Champion?

The teams sort out, Tozawa starts with Lince and he dodges the lunge to say STOP! Tozawa activates his ninja power to JAB Lince down! Tag to Gulak, they mug Lince and double whip to double elbow! Gulak covers, ONE, but Gulak stays close. Gulak gets Lince in a clinch, then a backbreaker and press! Lince endures, even as Gulak digs knuckles into the ribs. Lince pops free, Gulak drags him back up but Lince CHOPS! Gulak kicks low, whips but Lince rolls up and hits a FACEBUSTER! And here comes R-Truth! He’s a little late to scouting the match like he promised to do, but he goes right to commentary. Tozawa sneaks up on Truth to roll him up! TWO!! Truth BOOTS Tozawa and then throws him into barriers!

But Metalik LEAPS at Truth from the apron! Truth dodges then gets in the ring, but Lince dropkicks him down! Cover on Truth, Gulak breaks it! Gulak throws Lince away, covers Truth, TWO! Truth and Gulak get up, Truth dodges as Lince LEAPS and crossbodies Gulak! Lince covers Gulak, LHP wins the tag match!

Winners: Lucha House Party, by pinfall

But Tozawa drags Truth out to roll him up, Metalik breaks it! Metalik La Magistrol, TWO! Lince sunset flips, TWO! Gulak is late to getting at Truth, and the chase is on again! Will Truth make it out of the ThunderDome with the gold?!

 

Raw returns with Firefly Fun House!

What a spread of sweets! Huskis and Mercy and even Ramblin’ Rabbit are chowing down as the Mad Hatter- Er, Bray Wyatt, walks in! Welcome to their very first MAD TEA PARTY~! Hell in a Cell was great, Bray, cheer up! No, not that kind of mad. Now shut your carrot hole. A very special guest is here! It’s Alexa in Wonderland! And she brought tea! YAY~! Abby is being the Red Queen by saying, “Off with your head.” Ramblin’ gets a special serving of tea. What’s in it? A touch of strawberry, a hint of peach, a sprinkle of sugar, and a smidgen of a secret ingredient! YAY~! But what’s the secret ingredient? She can tell Ramblin’, he’ll protect the secret with his life! Funny he should say that! It’s arsenic. OH NOOO~! Ramblin’ is meltin’! Aww…

YOWIE WOWIE, Alexa’s fitting right in! Bray’s mad, Alexa’s mad, “we’re all a little mad down here.” How does he know that? Well she has to be, or else she wouldn’t be here. This is a very magical place where memories and nightmares walk hand in hand! A place where you don’t have to hide from anything. You’re safe because “he” comforts and heals you! There’s only one thing you have to do. #LetHimIn. Alexa’s eyes change…! And then change back. The fun is just beginning! Tonight, Alexa has a fun chat with the NEW WWE World Champion, Randy Orton! Oh… awkward… Ramblin’ is back and says, “Hey, dudes. Turns out I’m alright. Honey Bunny, I’m coming home.” Bray has the brand and SMACKS away on Ramblin’! That’s it for this week! We can’t wait o see Orton on A Moment of Bliss! It’s gonna be FIRE! YAY~! Bye~! See you soon!

 

Backstage interview with Keith Lee.

The Limitless One is angry after losing to Braun Strowman under “questionable” tactics that were anything but! Braun couldn’t win clean, so instead of losing like a man, he went below the belt and took a cheap way out? A Monster? No, the next time Keith faces Braun, we’ll see a real monster. But not tonight. Tonight is about destroying Elias, joining Team Raw, and going to Survivor Series. Will Keith #WalkWithElias and make him #BaskInHisGlory?

 

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler find Adam Pearce backstage.

The WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions obviously see the men are having Survivor Series qualifiers tonight. That’s great and all, but the women won’t do that. Nia has a list of those she thinks should be on the team. Pearce will take these under consideration but Nia isn’t team captain. Shayna figured, because she has HER list for Pearce. And Nia isn’t on it?! As captain, she had to do what was best for Raw. But wait, when are they finding out who is on the team? Pearce will look at both lists, and promises an announcement before the night is over. Right, make sure team captain hears first. But wait, was Shayna on Nia’s list? You won’t know now, will you?

 

Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier: Keith Lee VS Elias!

We heard from Keith before the break, and we saw what Elias did to Hardy. Will the guitar be the least of things broken tonight with representing Raw on the line?

But before the match, Elias is in the spotlight. He plays his guitar and notes how he took care of Hardy. Just a little bit of payback for what Hardy did with that car. But Hardy won’t keep Elias down. Elias will put Hardy in the rearview mirror. Elias won, and is celebrating his album, Universal Truth, being out on iTunes, Spotify and all that. It’ll change your life, and it is already #2 on the charts! Now it’s called Universal Truth because there is a truth we all know in our souls: WWE stands for Walk With Elias! And with Hardy behind him, Elias will keep this going with a song, because he’ll beat Keith and join the Raw Survivor Series team. So please, silence cell phones, hold applause and most of all, shut your mouths! “Keith Lee-” interrupts! The Limitless One is in NO MOOD for song and dance, the match is happening now!

The two tie up, Keith pushes Elias around but Elias headlocks. Keith powers out and runs Elias over! Elias gets up, Keith wrenches the arm to a wristlock, then collides shoulders! Keith brings Elias up to ram him again! Elias throws an elbow back, but Keith blocks the whip to reverse it and HURDLE! Keith drops down then gets to BODY BLOCK Elias! Elias bails out of the ring to catch his breath and steady himself, but Keith goes out to pursue. Keith bumps Elias off barriers and puts him back in the ring. Keith takes his time returning but Elias hotshots him back! Elias runs to wreck Keith with a dropkick! Keith stays up but Elias goes out and runs, into a POUNCE!! Elias is sent over the announce desk and Keith stands tall as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Keith grinds down on Elias’ arm. Elias fights up, throws body shots but Keith knees low and clamps harder on the armlock. Keith grinds Elias down to the mat, clubs the arm, but Elias endures. Keith reels Elias in but Elias hits back with body shots. Keith knees Elias again, reels him back in, and lifts, but Elias fights out of the bomb and huricanranas! Keith gets up but Elias KNEES him back down! Keith goes out to the apron but Elias follows. Elias runs around the way to POST Keith! And then again! And then he throws Keith into barriers and into the ring! Elias gets up top fast, leaps, and ax handles Keith down! Cover, TWO! Elias keeps on Keith with stomps! Elias drops a knee, covers, TWO!

Elias keeps his focus as he looms over Keith. Elias fish hooks Keith’s nose then clamps on a chinlock. Elias thrashes and cranks on the hold but Keith fights his way up. Fans rally up, Keith pries free, but Elias knees him in the back! Elias whips, Keith reverses and scoops Elias for a POWERSLAM! Elias goes to a corner, Keith corner splashes then TOSSES Elias across the way! Keith hits another splash, wrenches and whips corner to corner again, but Elias goes up, only to get caught! Elias still kicks Keith away, and reels Keith into a swinging neckbreaker! Cover, TWO!! Keith survives but Elias climbs up top. But here comes Hardy for payback of his own! Elias looks for Hardy, but Keith grabs Elias to TOSS him down!

Keith brings Elias up, pops him up, and hits the SPIRIT BOMB!! Cover, Keith wins!

Winner: Keith Lee, by pinfall (qualifies for the Raw Men’s Team)

It seems Hardy was just messing with Elias. Either way, Keith is on the team with AJ Styles, and that’s already an amazing combination! Elias manages to stand up, only for Hardy to SMASH him after all! Now they’re even! Hardy tells Elias to believe him about the car accident already, but are things only going to escalate from here?

 

The Hurt Business is backstage.

They’re all suited up, ready to face Retribution in an 8 Man Tag rematch, but MVP shouts at the guy wanting to use the restroom. No, that’s their restroom. Ask to use it first. The guy says he’s sorry, then scurries away. MVP, Cedric Alexander, Shelton Benjamin and Bobby Lashley are laughing now, but will Retribution finally get the last laugh tonight?

 

Backstage interview with Randy Orton.

The Viper is the new WWE World Champion and will surely expound upon that during A Moment of Bliss, but Charly asks if he’s worried about The Fiend? Orton has nothing to be concerned about. He made it out of hell as a 14-time champion. So it could be The Big Dog, The Fiend or the former WWE Champion, Drew McIntyre, at the end of the day, there is only one Randy Orton. The only people that need to be worried are those that cross him.

 

8 Man Tag Elimination Match: The Hurt Business VS Retribution!

Two forces have been fighting for dominance of Monday Night Raw, and given their love of bringing the hurt, it’s clear who has the upper hand. But just as Mustafa Ali changed that in a single moment, will he and his cohorts throw away the corrupt and greedy one by one so that the truth can be heard?

Raw returns and MVP has the mic. “Attention WWE Universe, this is an official announcement from the Hurt Business.” When Retribution first showed up, everyone fled except the Hurt Business. Lashley says they stood their ground because Retribution isn’t a threat, but an opportunity. Raw is an asset of the Hurt Business, and Retribution is a liability. Liabilities are bad for business, so you eliminate them. “If you’re a good businessman, you know that if you’re good at something, you never do it for free!” So MVP struck a deal with the higher-ups and said they’d take the fight to Retribution, and that is exactly what’s happened. Once they WRECK Retribution once and for all, the Hurt Business will have completed their end of the arrangement and be looking to collect their payment. Shelton Benjamin says that payment will be in GOLD. Retribution makes their entrance and this elimination battle begins!

The teams sort out, Lashley starts against T-Bar and they tie up. T-Bar tries to power Lashley back but Lashley turns it around to put T-Bar in the corner. The ref counts, Lashley lets off but counter punches T-Bar! T-Bar keeps hitting back but Lashely clubs and knees T-Bar, then bumps him off buckles! And more buckles and more buckles! Lashley stomps, clubs and punches, but lets off long enough before going up top. Lashley rains down rights but T-Bar powers him away! T-Bar BOOTS Lashley, then CLUBS him! T-Bar shows his power as he ROCKS Lashley! T-Bar whips Lashley to ropes, Lashley dodges and runs T-Bar over! Lashley drags T-Bar up, T-Bar rams him into a corner! T-Bar throws body shots but Lashley gets him in a clinch! T-Bar fights but the COMPLETE SHOT still hits!

Lashley drags T-Bar up, brings him to the corner and tags in MVP. The Hurt Business mugs T-Bar, MVP fires off and bumps T-Bar off buckles. MVP throws more haymakers, brings T-Bar out and says Ali will get what’s coming. But T-Bar knees hard and low! Tag to Mace, they mug MVP, and then Mace drags MVP up to say this is for Slapjack! Mace rains elbows into MVP, then tags Slapjack in. Retribution mugs MVP, Slapjack snapmares and basement dropkicks! Cover, TWO! Slapjack stays close, drags MVP up and bumps him off buckles. Slapjack fires off forearms and uppercuts! Slapjack throws haymakers, goes corner to corner but MVP drop toeholds him into buckles! MVP runs corner to corner to BOOT Slapjack down! But MVP keeps him up to EXPLODER! Cover, Ali breaks it!

MVP is angry with Ali but “Reckoning” is on the apron. She claims she’s itchy? What is she doing? She goes wild and then faints?! Slapjack rolls MVP up, Slapjack ELIMINATES MVP! The Hurt Business is down their mastermind, but Reckoning is still flailing and writhing!? What is wrong with her?! Raw goes to break as this sorts out.

Raw returns and Lashley has Slapjack in a rear bearhug. Slapjack endures, and by the way, Reckoning was FAKING it! She just wanted Hurt Business to be distracted. So the ref EJECTED her! Things are fair as they can be with Retribution in a 4v3 advantage, but Lashley squeezes tighter on Slapjack for all of that. Slapjack fights up, throws elbows, and gets around to throw body shots. Lashley throws Slapjack to a corner, runs in but into a boot! Slapjack boots again, then runs, but into a TOSS! Slapjack lands on his feet but Lashley SPEARS him!! Cover, Lashley ELIMINATES Slapjack! But T-Bar pounces on him! T-Bar elbows away, but Lashley clinches and throws T-Bar out. T-Bar drags Lashley out to join him and clubs away!

The ring count is climbing while these two are brawling! Lashley throws T-Bar into barriers then clotheslines him over! But he doesn’t hear the count anymore! They’re brawling and are COUNTED OUT!! DOUBLE ELIMINATION! Now things are fair again at 2v2! Mace goes in against Cedric Alexander, and Alexander fires off fast hands! Mace shoves him away then LEG LARIATS! Ali likes that! “Make him feel what Retribution is about!” Mace says Alexander will feel every ounce! Mace throws body shots, then runs in to back elbow! Alexander flounders, Mace looms over him, but Alexander throws forearms. Mace ROCKS Alexander with that uppercut! Mace drags Alexander from the corner, Alexander throws more forearms, but he can’t get away! Mace reels Alexander in, Alexander slips free and dropkicks legs out!

Alexander DECKS Ali, but runs into a choke grip! Alexander gets free, Mace boots him, but Alexander holds rpoes. Benjamin tags in. Alexander handsprings to NEURALIZER! PAYDIRT from Benjamin!! Cover, Benjamin ELIMINATES Mace!! And Ali realizes he’s all alone. Ali tries to reason with Benjamin but Benjamin DEKCS him! And again! Benjamin whips, Ali dodges and comes back, but is caught for a FALL AWAY SLAM! Benjamin fires up, tags Alexander in, and they mug Ali! Alexander especially fires off and whips Ali into the corner! Alexander fires off more haymakers, the ref counts and Alexander lets off. Alexander brings Ali up, whips him corner to corner but ALi dropkicks Benjamin down! Ali BOOTS Alexander then runs, but into a BIG back drop!

Ali flounders, Alexander snarls and runs at Ali to BOOT him out of the ring!! Alexander dares Ali to get up, and Alexander goes out after him. Ali USES A CHAIR!

Winners: The Hurt Business, by disqualification

Ali doesn’t care about winning so long as he can hurt the Hurt Business! But Ali forgets Benjamin is still here. Benjamin stalks after Ali and Ali is in retreat. But MVP and Lashley return to surround him! Ali gets around to the back and runs away through the screens of the ThunderDome! The Hurt Business regroups around Alexander. MVP says Alexander did good. They dominated Retribution again, will they now collect on some golden rewards?

 

Angel Garza flirts with Mandy Rose.

And he has a rose for her, too. How is Otis doing? Are they still close? Mandy says Otis has had a rough 24 hours between losing his MITB contract and his best friend in Tucker. And to answer his question, yes, she and Otis are still close. Well then, maybe Dana Brooke is interested. But then Garza is distracted by Nia Jax. She tells him to save it. This is about business. Shayna tells Garza to move along, but Nia does take the rose. But to Survivor Series. If Mandy and Dana end up on their team- Wait, their team? Yes, their team. Let’s get something straight. Well to get something straight, Dana and Mandy have been undefeated since forming this team. If the champs want to join their team, fall in line or be ready to watch their backs, and those titles. Is this Punk’d? Mandy and Dana head out while Nia smells the rose. Seriously, Nia? Garza?

 

Drew McIntyre VS The Miz w/ John Morrison!

THIS is what McIntyre was getting at earlier! He may be battered but that doesn’t compare to his anger! Will he take it all out on the new Mr. MITB, to not only assert himself as the next contender but also make sure Miz can’t even think about cashing in?

Raw returns and The Miz makes his entrance. The bell rings, Morrison slide sin but slides out, only for McIntyre to be ready for Miz’s lunge! McIntyre clubs Miz away then bumps him off buckles. McIntyre CHOPS Miz, keeps him in the corner and throws a BIG haymaker! McIntyre tells Miz to tell jokes now, as he stomps a mudhole in! Miz kicks the bad leg! Miz runs but into an elbow! McIntyre drags Miz up, throws her out, and Morrison hurries away as McIntyre goes out to CHOP Miz again! McIntyre scoops Miz, Miz slips off and shoves him into steel steps! McIntyre’s bad ribs are hit! Miz stalks behind McIntyre and back into the ring to then go after him in a corner! Miz stomps the ribs, lets off at the ref’s count, but McIntyre kicks back! And CHOPS back!

McIntyre whips, Miz reverses and kicks the leg out, to then basement DDT! Cover, ONE!! Morrison is shocked but he says Miz still has this. Miz chokes McIntyre on the ropes, lets off at 4, and Morrison gets a cheap shot in! That only pisses McIntyre off! McIntyre gets up but Miz BOOTS him! Miz throws haymakers, and kicks, but McIntyre grabs Miz by the head to throw him into the buckles! Miz dodges, blocks the boot and KNEE JAMMERS! Miz puts the leg around ropes and pulls! McIntyre powers Miz away but Miz comes back with It Kicks! The ref counts, Miz lets off and runs, but into a LARIAT! McIntyre rallies with more clotheslines, then whips Miz for the OVERHEAD SUPLEX! Miz gets up, but just gets another OVERHEAD SUPLEX!

McIntyre glares, he gives Miz the jumping neckbreaker! And kips up! “Now, Miz, you’re screwed!” McIntyre glares at Miz, drags him up, underhooks but no Future Shock! McIntyre shoves Miz, Miz throws McIntyre out and rests against ropes to distract the ref. Morrison comes around but McIntyre BOOTS the briefcase away! McIntyre gives Morrison an OVERHEAD SUPLEX! McIntyre CHUCKS the briefcase to the stage! McIntyre goes in, Miz gets McIntyre in a cradle, ONE!! Miz runs, so does McIntyre, CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

The Scottish Stud stands tall and might be back on track towards the title! Will McIntyre be the one Orton has to worry about before ever worrying about Miz or Fiend?

 

The Street- Er, New Day, are hyped up!

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s ya bois, the NEW~ DAY~!” And they welcome us back to Monday Night Raw, fam. And in just a few short weeks, it’s that time of year when we get to see Raw VS SmackDown. That’s Survivor Series! Champions take on champions… Kofi, what’s wrong? They talked about this, you can’t go full Dawkins. Right, sorry. Champions take on champions, fam! And that means Woods finally gets to face King Corbin for his title of King of the Ring! No, fam, no. They’re taking on the SmackDown Tag Team Champions, the Street Profits. There’s the graphic. They look great there. Well then, there’s only one more thing-

Asuka shows up? She introduces herself to them, and says, “WE WANT THE SMOOOKE!!” That’s true, that’s true! Asuka, the Empress of Tomorrow, is going to beat the brakes off the NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion, Sasha Banks! And the NEW WWE World Champion, The Viper, Randall Orton, take on the Tribal Chief, OOOOAH! Roman Reigns!! And of course, don’t forget the traditional men’s and women’s- MVP and the Hurt Business walk in to plug THE United States Champion bringing the hurt to the Intercontinental Champion, Sami Zayn. And for good measure, they have their sights set on the tag team champions. Asuka says, “Yo yo yo! You can try, and you will fail!” GOTTEE! Do you know why?! BECAAAUSE~! NEW! DAY ROCKS! Asuka’s a scarier hype person than Big E, but will she be ready for Grand Slam Sasha?

 

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre.

Congratulations on winning over The Miz. Is this his first step back to the title? Sure, why not? McIntyre will take however many steps it take to reclaim the title. Speaking of which, Orton is on later, right? McIntyre is going to give us a guarantee: Orton will have a moment, but not of bliss. McIntyre is keeping that promise he made from before HIAC! Will he continue to hunt down and beat down Orton until Survivor Series?

 

Adam Pearce and Pat Buck are in the ring.

“We are just weeks away from Survivor Series, the event where the best of Raw and the best of SmackDown go head to head.” We’ve already seen men fight for their spots on the team, but now we learn the five women for Team Raw! And we start with the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, Nia and Shayna! They walk out, and Pat says joining them will be Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke! The #SexyMuscleFriends (Asuka’s name for them) join them in the ring, but that leaves one more spot. Nia says Pearce should slow down. He’s just rushing through this that he and Pat chose? At least let the fifth person be announced by the team captain, Nia. No one said it was Nia! Nia said it was Nia.

Pearce keeps the arguing stop and is about to let us know that the fifth and final member will be decided in a Fatal 4 Way featuring: The Ravishing Russian, Lana! The Sassy Southern Belle, Lacey Evans! The Venus Flytrap, Peyton Royce! And lastly, the Twisted Sister, Nikki Cross! Nikki even has new music to commemorate the moment, that starts right now!

Survivor Series Women’s Team Raw Qualifier Fatal 4 Way: Lana VS Lacey Evans VS Peyton Royce VS Nikki Cross!

Lacey and Peyton brawl while Nikki and Lana fire off! Peyton throws Lacey out, and Lana throws Nikki. Lacey drags Peyton out to join her, Lana BOOTS Nikki down onto them! The Ravishing Russian underdog stands tall as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns, Peyton has Nikki in the ropes, and then in the Motorcycle Stretch! Peyton pulls Nikki back but doesn’t have to let go because there are no disqualifications off ropebreaks. Nia sits in Byron Saxton’s seat on commentary while Shayna, Mandy and Dana watch at ringside. Lana rushes Peyton, Peyton ducks and kicks but Lana ducks that. Peyton ducks Lana’s kick and mule kicks low, to then POST Lana! Lana tumbles out, Lacey gets in and rocks Peyton. Peyton jumps the leg sweep to kick Lacey back down! Peyton goes back to Nikki but Nikki catches her to a cradle, TWO! Nikki gets up but Peyton clotheslines her down! Cover, TWO! Peyton is angry and she clubs Nikki down! Peyton rams knees in, clamps on a chinlock and pulls her back.

Nikki endures, fights up, and arm-drags free! Peyton ends up in a corner, Nikki runs in but Peyton puts her on the apron. Nikki counter forearms then bumps Peyton off buckles! Nikki LEAPS and takes down Lana! Nikki drops a senton on Lana, then goes after Lacey with a TORNADO DDT! Nikki fires up, gets back on the apron and back up top! Nikki LEAPS to CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! All four women are down and Nikki fires up. Lana gets up, Nikki ROCKS her! Nikki drags Lana up, Lana KICKS her down! Lana slingshots and goes after Nikki, but Nikki spins out, WOMAN’S RIGHT takes Lana down! Nikki rolls Lacey up but Peyton breaks it! HEEL KICK for Lacey! Peyton Gory Especials Niki to GORY BOMB her onto Lacey! Cover on Lacey, TWO!!

Peyton is furious, she goes after Nikki and hoists her up top. Nikki fights back and Peyton tumbles away. Lacey goes after Nikki now, and climbs up. Nikki fights with Lacey and GOURD BUSTERS her down! Peyton HEEL KICKS Nikki! Peyton climbs, Nikki fights her off again and Peyton lands hard! Nikki gets up, but so does Lacey! Lacey CLUBS Nikki, brings her up, but Peyton adds on, SUPER GERMAN SUPERPLEX! Lana drags Peyton out and pounces on Nikki, LANA WINS!!

Winner: Lana, by pinfall (qualifies for Team Raw)

And there you have it! The Ravishing opportunist rounds out the team! Will Lana use that ability to help Raw win? Lana hugs her team, but Nia won’t let her go. Shayna clears off the table!! NOT AGAIN! This is the sixth time Lana goes through the announce desk!! Well, it seems obvious that Nia and Shayna did NOT have Lana on their lists. But will the team find a way to work together and defeat Team SmackDown?

 

Charly Caruso knocks on Randy Orton’s door.

Orton answers, and Charly apologizes for bothering him. Is he still planning on being Alexa Bliss’ guest after the Firefly Fun House episode earlier? Yes. Orton goes to leave, but Charly asks if he heard what they said. He did. So he didn’t take that as a threat? Because to some, it’s a guarantee that the Fiend is coming for him, and that A Moment of Bliss could be a trap. Orton stops Charly there. He is NOT afraid of The Fiend. “If The Fiend wants to show his ugly ass face tonight,” Orton is fine with that, because he has no problem introducing The Fiend to the three most dangerous letters in sports entertainment. But will it be so easy when it’s The Fiend who can come outta nowhere?

 

Retribution regroups backstage.

Ali says that they are not family. They are not a team. “Retribution is a mission. And the good men and women that stand beside me are willing to sacrifice everything for that mission.” So we need to understand something: They win when we suffer. And they will win. Because they decide when we #GetShutDown! What will Ali resort to in order to accomplish the mission?

 

Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier: Sheamus VS Matt Riddle!

The Fella and The Bro are ready to throw down for the third spot on the men’s team! Who joins the Phenomenal and the Limitless in representing Raw?

Raw returns and Sheamus makes his entrance. The bell rings and Riddle circles with Sheamus. They tie up, Riddle waistlocks but Sheamus headlocks. They go to ropes, go around and end up in a corner. Riddle picks Sheamus up to SLAM him down! Sheamus scrambles to get to the apron and Riddle lets off. Sheamus walks off his frustration but Riddle patiently waits. Sheamus gets back in, circles with Riddle again, and they tie up. Sheamus headlocks to hit the takeover, but Riddle moves around. Riddle fights his way up, Sheamus throws him back down. Sheamus traps an arm while grinding a headlock, but Riddle pushes back. Riddle gets up, gets the arm and shifts to an armbar! Sheamus holds it off, moves around but Riddle has the triangle! Sheamus makes it a cover, TWO!

The two reset and circle again. They tie up, Sheamus SLAMS Riddle now and covers, TWO! Sheamus has Riddle’s arm, wrenches to a double wristlock, but Riddle endures. Riddle fights up, spins through and gets a gut wrench to suplex Sheamus! Riddle just manages to throw Sheamus, and then is right on him again! Sheamus grabs ropes, the ref counts and Riddle lets go. Riddle and Sheamus clinch, Riddle gets the double wristlock but Sheamus knees low and hits the IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Sheamus hauls Riddle up and hangs him out to dry on the ropes! Riddle is on the apron, Sheamus give shim beats of the Bodhrain! Sheamus stops at the ref’s count of 4, but Riddle gets the arm! Riddle has a hanging armbar but lets go at 4!

Riddle gets in, dumps Sheamus out, then goes out to PENALTY KICK! And then BROSAULT! Direct hit and down goes Sheamus as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Sheamus has Riddle down with a chinbar and armlock. Riddle fights up, fights back and fights free to then fire off forearms! Riddle runs but into a tilt-o-whirl BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Riddle is still in this and Sheamus grows frustrated. Sheamus stomps Riddle, drags him up and fish hooks the face! The ref counts, Sheamus stops and goes back to the chinbar and armlock. Riddle fights up, fights back and even headbutts Sheamus in the chest! Sheamus knees but Riddle gets around to fire off palm strikes and a boot! PELE! Handspring and ROUNDHOUSE! Sheamus sits up to get a PENALTY KICK and BROTON! Cover, TWO! Sheamus gets to a corner but Riddle fires up! Riddle runs in to forearm, then goes side to side to forearm again! Riddle brings Sheamus out but Sheamus fights back! Sheamus KNEES Riddle down! Cover, TWO!!

Sheamus is furious that Riddle survives the knee, but he goes back to a corner. Sheamus climbs the ropes but Riddle goes up to stop him! Riddle clubs Sheamus, brings him up but Sheamus fights back! Sheamus shoves Riddle down, stands, but Riddle is up top fast! Riddle hits a SUPER BROSPLODER!! Cover, TWO!?! Sheamus survives and Riddle can’t believe it! Riddle refocuses and fires himself back up. He goes to a corner and climbs back up. The fans rally as Riddle leaps for the FLOATING BRO, onto knees!! Sheamus saves himself and may have broken Riddle! Sheamus drags Riddle up, keeps on the back with big forearms, and then drags him back up. Sheamus brings Riddle up, Riddle slips out of the urenage to SLEEPER HOLD! Sheamus flails, reaches, but Riddle squeezes tight!

Sheamus rams Riddle into buckles until Riddle lets go, but Riddle just hops back on! Sheamus throws Riddle off, but misses the Brogue into a GERMAN! Bridging cover, TWO!! Sheamus survives but Riddle is foaming at the mouth! Riddle drags Sheamus up in a facelock, throws big forearms on him, but Sheamus slips out of the scoop to BROGUE!! Cover, Sheamus wins!!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall (qualifies for Team Raw)

Two gladiators just fought their hearts out, but it’s the Celtic Warrior that joins the team! Will Sheamus fight even harder to help Raw win over SmackDown?

 

Raw returns with A Moment of Bliss.

Alexa welcomes us to a very special edition of her show as her guest went to hell and back in defeating Drew McIntyre. Please welcome the NEW and 14-TIME world champion, Randy Orton! The Viper makes his entrance, but he does seem a bit wary of his surroundings. Orton still enters the ring as Alexa has a sly and almost sinister smile on her face. Orton grabs his mic but Alexa says he can take a seat. She won’t bite. Orton says he’s good. That’s fine. Let’s talk about his big win last night! One for the ages! Now did it surprise Orton that he delivered “such a super duper performance?” Well what is there to be surprised about? That he won HIAC? That he became a 14-time world champion? No. But talk about surprises, does Alexa have a surprise for him? Nope! What good talk show wouldn’t want the champion on their show, duh? Especially after he and McIntyre burned the house down…!

There it is. Burning the house down… Orton wants Alexa to know he knows Bray better than anyone. He knows Bray is close, so he will ask her this once and only once: “Where is The Fiend?” Alexa smiles bigger, because here comes MCINTYRE! McIntyre’s keeping his promise! And these two brawl in the ring! Alexa watches from a corner, very amused as McIntyre throws haymakers and stomps on Orton! McIntyre tells him, “SURPRISE!” McIntyre tosses chairs out of the ring, and even the table! McIntyre drags Orton up and DECKS him! Alexa is very amused! McIntyre grins, too, as he aims from a corner. Orton flounders up, but the lights start turning off! The lights go out, and when they come back on red, it’s JUST McIntyre left in the ring!

Orton has made it to the ramp but Alexa is completely gone! McIntyre isn’t afraid, but that’s because The Fiend is behind Orton!! Orton shrugs it off, and heads for the ring. Seems he’d rather fight McIntyre than that psycho! McIntyre says that’s fine, “BRING IT, B*TCH!” He and Orton brawl, McIntyre throws Orton into barriers and then more barriers! McIntyre promises he’ll do this forever until he gets his title back! Orton tries to hit back but McIntyre whips. Orton reverses and sends McIntyre into barriers! And they brawl to the announce desk! McIntyre throws haymakers on Orton, they go around the way, and McIntyre throws Orton into steel steps! McIntyre sits Orton up to get in his face before bringing him back to the desk!

McIntyre bounces Orton off the hood, then throws more haymakers! Orton kicks back, and gives McIntyre the back suplex to the desk! Orton gets up on the table, rains down fists on McIntyre, and The Fiend just watches on! The fight rages on but Raw goes off the air! Will there be nothing but chaos now that The Fiend is aiming for the world title?


My Thoughts:

Wow, this was a great follow-up to HIAC and the start of build for Survivor Series. I’ll ignore the huge disappointing fact that NXT will, as of right now, NOT be part of Survivor Series 2020. But circumstances being what they are, maybe WWE just doesn’t want to risk COVID complications. I will say two of the three Survivor Series men’s team matches were a bit obvious given how HIAC went. Elias and Hardy were not going to be on Team Raw given they’ll be having their own feud to settle, but AJ Styles and Keith Lee make for great members. Riddle VS Sheamus was an incredible match, just like Sheamus VS Kofi Kingston was last week. Sheamus is being given a great run, and he is a great addition to the team. I’m really curious to see who the final two men will be, as well as who SmackDown will put forward.

And since Survivor Series sticks to Raw VS SmackDown, no NXT and no room for a story based elimination match, that’s the reason why we got Hurt Business VS Retribution in an elimination tag tonight. Retribution had a decent plan using Mia “Reckoning” Yim as a distraction, but I was a little disappointed they didn’t try to rope The Fiend and his friends back in. Them making Yim hallucinate something gross on her would’ve been great story, but oh well. Retribution continues to be made into jokes to a degree, even with Ali using a chair to be disqualified. I hope with time before Survivor Series, Ali does something to really stick it to the Hurt Business as they’re trying to get the Raw Tag Team titles now. The New Day cosplaying the Street Profits was funny, as was Asuka joining in on hyping up all the Raw VS SmackDown Champion VS Champion matches. Again, disappointed we won’t get NXT involved but whatever, Asuka VS Sasha is still going to be a lot of fun. I hope the Profits return the favor and cosplay being New Day.

The tag team match that was also part 24/7 Championship match was a lot of fun. I feel like that should happen way more often, just to make a point of the 24/7 Championship being any time, any where, with anyone. There needs to be a mishap where a superstar that doesn’t even want the title ends up with it, I think that’d be pretty hilarious. The women’s tag team for Survivor Series being just announced was fine. Lana winning the Fatal 4 Way wasn’t just to set up another table spot, it’ll probably set things up where it comes down to Lana against however many SmackDown women are left, and somehow Lana wins as a sole survivor. It’d be great if it was also Natalya as one of the last SmackDown women to reference their story. And then when Lana wins, Nia can still put her through the desk.

McIntyre having segments and a match with Miz and Morrison was good stuff. I like that they also referenced the history of Miz, Orton, and the MITB. Firefly Fun House was pretty good, with Alexa bringing back her Alice in Wonderland costume and helping Bray reference his history with Orton. Orton is definitely going to have the hardest time making it to Survivor Series to face Roman Reigns. McIntyre is coming for him, title match or not. Fiend is definitely after the title, but also his own revenge on Orton. And Miz has the contract so he could just swoop in during any of that and take the title while WWE is still in ThunderDome.

And while we might be wondering when Miz is going to cash in, I bet he waits until Survivor Series so that he can pounce on BOTH top champions while they’re in bad shape. I will say there needs to be a moment where Miz tries to cash in and Otis shows up despite being on SmackDown, as his own revenge. Otis has to be moving to Raw somehow, between wanting payback on Tucker and probably on Miz, but I suppose SmackDown could do something with him now that he’s completely separate from everything that used to define him.

My Score: 8.3/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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