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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (11/16/20)

Who will be Raw’s champs for Survivor Series?

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WWE Raw Coverage 3.0

Gold is on the line on the last Raw before Survivor Series!

The Viper and Scottish Stud once again battle over THE WWE World Championship! Who will reign over Raw and take on Roman Reigns this Sunday?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Six Woman Tag: Asuka, Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler & Lana; Asuka, Mandy & Dana win.
  • Raw Tag Team Championships: The New Day VS The Hurt Business; The New Day wins and retains the titles.
  • 8 Man Tag: Retribution VS Raw’s Survivor Series Men’s Team; Retribution wins.
  • The Miz w/ John Morrison VS Bray Wyatt w/ Alexa Bliss; Bray wins.
  • WWE World Championship: Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins and becomes the new WWE World Champion.

PLAY BY PLAY

Drew McIntyre heads to the ring!

Ahead of facing The Viper once again for the WWE World Championship, the Scottish Stud is here with something to say. “Welcome everyone, to Monday Night Raw!” And Sunday is WWE Survivor Series. Since its inception, Survivor Series has been an American Thanksgiving tradition. And since McIntyre’s been in America for a third of his life, he’s come to love Thanksgiving! What’s not to love? There’s the food, the people you care about and sharing what you’re grateful for.

And as McIntyre has grown up his adult life in front of the fans, they’re people he cares about so he’ll share what he’s thankful for: family and friends he can lean on, to fans who support him, and to the WWE ThunderDome bringing us all closer together. In fact, McIntyre asks us if we’re ready to see him Claymore Orton’s head off and get the title back! McIntyre is also thankful for the doubters, the ones that laugh and talk trash. McIntyre says you have to believe in yourself, work harder and prove them all wrong, and then throw it up and tell them to read between the lines!

And speaking of doubters, McIntyre reminds us of his visit on Friday to “the head of the table.” McIntyre was doing Roman Reigns a favor saying not to worry about Orton but to worry about McIntyre instead. Roman didn’t care about Orton or about McIntyre. Roman doesn’t care about anyone but himself. “Roman Reigns has put himself on a pedestal so high above everyone else, the rest of us look like ants right now. He’s also got his head shoved right up his ass!” McIntyre vows to win tonight, go to Survivor Series Sunday, and Claymore Roman down to Earth and humble him! But McIntyre would be a fool if he overlooked-

Speaking of, Orton is talking back on the titantron! Orton hears McIntyre talking about what he’s thankful for, so Orton will chime in. Orton is thankful for, right off the top, being a 14 time WWE World Champion. But he is also thankful that the fine handed to him by the WWE for grabbing Adam Pearce didn’t faze Orton. Why didn’t it? Because for 20 years, Orton has been fined more than any WWE superstar ever! And suspended more than any superstar under contract, sitting on his butt at home longer than 80% of the WWE locker room has been in the ring! And you want to know why Orton is still here? Orton says with all the fines, the suspensions and broken rules, Orton is still here because he IS the greatest wrestler ever! And Orton will prove it again, just like at Hell in a Cell, when he walks out still WWE World Champion.

McIntyre says Orton forgot one thing. He forgot the three most dangerous letters, R K O. They’ve done this so long, McIntyre can finish Orton’s sentences. But this time, McIntyre won’t fall off the cell! This time, McIntyre’s foot will crash through Orton’s head and McIntyre will once again be WWE Champion!! But just as McIntyre drops the mic and leaves the ring, The Miz and John Morrison strut out with the Money in the Bank Briefcase. “Hey, John, do you happen to know what the date is today?” Yes, November 16th. What does that mean? That there is a NEW episode of Miz and Mrs. after Raw! And? Well there’s nothing in it about HIAC because that was the past.

And why is that important? Because the future is way more interesting! And the future is them because Miz is Mr. MITB! And that means nothing can stop them from cashing in a favor and having front row seats for tonight. When will these two learn? The last few weeks what McIntyre has done to them will be nothing compared to what he does if they get involved tonight. Miz knows McIntyre is having a hard time dealing with change, and that Orton has a hard time talking about his feelings. But a legend like Orton who has been here so long, he should be able to accept the possibilities of change are endless! The title could change hand, and the hands holding that title by the end of the night will be MIZ’S! McIntyre doesn’t believe?

Hey, John, why did Bray Wyatt stay away last week? Because he’s afraid of Miz and Morrison. And? Well because even Bray can figure out, Miz can change everything by cashing in anywhere, any time! Correct! So unfortunately, the only one who hasn’t come to terms with that is McIntyre. Change is coming, whether he likes it or not. Yes, change is coming. But the difference between Orton and McIntyre, shocking as it is, is that McIntyre is not a patient man. Then doesn’t he realize that is what cost him? But then McIntyre steps to them and they hurry out of the ring. Miz wants McIntyre to understand that McIntyre gave title matches away! He gave Orton THREE chances, but who says he deserved it? Maybe Miz doesn’t deserve a match, but win or lose, he’ll still be laughing all the way to the bank. Does Miz have a point? Or is he showing his hand a little too early in this game?

 

Shayna Baszler and Nia Jax meet Lana at gorilla.

The WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions just found out tonight’s Six Woman Tag was Lana’s idea, and they don’t like that. Lana says that she is still on Team Raw, no matter what they do to her. And no matter how hard Lana tries, they just don’t take her seriously. So after Miz and Morrison had their match alongside Orton, Lana thought she could do the same! This is the way she can prove herself to the others. But unlike Orton, Lana will not refuse to tag in. She is all here for the team. How cute. But while Lana thinks this is about her, it’s not. This is about the tag champs proving they run the entire Women’s Division. So Lana can be here for Team Raw, but she is NOT to tag into the match. Got that?

Six Woman Tag: Asuka, Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Nia Jax, Shayna Baszler & Lana!

The Ravishing Russian’s idea might come back to bite her. Will she stay out of the way and let the Irresistible Force and the Queen of Spades handle the Empress of Tomorrow and the #SexyMuscleFriends? Or will she try to take things into her own hands again?

Raw returns as Lana makes her entrance to join Shayna and Nia. Then Asuka makes her entrance, followed by Dana and Mandy. The teams sort out and Lana actually starts, only for Shayna to tag in right away. Dana goes after Shayna with forearms and a shove. Shayna gets around, swings Dana into a backbreaker then KNEES her down! Shayna sucker punches Asuka then drags Dana up. Shayna throws Dana out hard, then laughs as she leaves Lana’s tag hanging. Tag to Nia, Nia drags Dana up and fireman’s carries, but she drops Dana as Mandy runs in. Nia runs Mandy over, drags her up and puts her arm in the steel steps! Shayna STOMPS the arm!! The ref reprimands the tag champs but they don’t care, and Raw goes to break while Mandy writhes on the ground!

Raw returns again and Shayna tortures Dana’s arm now! And she hammerlocks, but Dana rolls Shayna into buckles! Dana crawls, and hot tags Asuka! Asuka dodges and rallies on Shayna with kicks! Asuka whips, Shayna reverses but Asuka hip attacks Nia down! Shayna runs in, Asuka dodges and runs her over! Asuka fires up and runs in at Shayna for a hip attack! And mule kick! And waistlock, but Shayna throws an elbow! Asuka ducks that, Shayna ducks the roundhouse but so does Asuka. Asuka hits a CODE BREAKER! Asuka hits the SLIDING KICK! Cover but Nia breaks it! Dana goes after Nia with a sleeper hold backpack! Nia throws Dana on the apron hard then finally leaves the ring.

Shayna gut wrenches but Asuka fights out to ROUNDHOUSE! Asuka wants her lock but Nia gets up. Asuka BOOTS Nia down, Shayna grabs Asuka! Asuka endures the Kirafuda, Lana tags in! Shayna has Asuka down, she might have this won but she realizes what happened! Lana gets in, SPLIT BOOT! Cover, TWO!! Nia is furious and wants Lana to tag one of them! But this distracts Lana, Asuka ROUNDHOUSES! To the ASUKA LOCK!! Lana taps, Asuka’s team wins!

Winner: Asuka, Dana Brooke and Mandy Rose by submission

Nia is clearing off the desk! Lana doesn’t know what to do and she doesn’t get any help from Asuka and Dana! Shayna throws Lana out to Nia, and Nia says she’s actually proud of the courage Lana showed. Nia offers her a hand, and Lana takes it. Nia says Lana did great and she is a member of Team Raw now. PSYCH! SAMOAN DROP THROUGH THE DESK!! That makes for NINE times total! With Mandy possibly injured and Lana constantly getting body slammed, is Raw’s women’s team in any shape to face SmackDown’s?

 

Raw’s Men’s Team is arguing backstage!

AJ Styles wants them to stop this, because Survivor Series is Sunday! Now listen! Don’t worry about Jordan Omogbehin, he’s not the giant advantage they have against Team SmackDown. But that’s on paper. The reality is, despite all the great physical gifts, talents and experience, it has been a bumpy road. Their egos get in the way. But Styles is very humble, so he takes responsibility as team captain. He’s not the captain! Yeah, Fire Face is right, the Skipper isn’t the captain! Shut up with the nicknames! Keith Lee actually liked his. Styles tells them to stop fighting over this! It doesn’t matter about the nicknames, or who Brogue kicks who, or who annoys everyone Riddle. Fighting like this means they’re going to lose!

If there’s one thing Styles knows about his team, is that they all hate to lose. So they need to unite. And they are going to have a tune up against something or someone NO ONE likes. And that… is RETRIBUTION! If they follow Styles’ lead, he will make this a team! A winning team! He hands out Raw USA Network shirts, but Keith and Braun aren’t so sure these will fit. Styles asks Jordan if this is going to work. Styles didn’t want to sound all rara but he thought the speech was good. Riddle returns to tells Styles that, so as not to leave anyone out, he could give Jordan a sweet nickname. No, no, no, no more nicknames. Don’t even look at Jordan. Whatever Styles wants, man. Later, Omoss.

Omoss?! Have they been talking behind Styles’ back?! No way he could, Jordan doesn’t even know English. Wait, does he? Of course he does. Oh. Why didn’t he say something to Styles? Styles never asked. Well now he has so many questions! But the real question is: Will facing Retribution really be the key to uniting the team?

 

Ramblin’ Rabbit and Abby the Witch are up to something.

They have a Miz Funko Pop and a pair of Miz sunglasses! Firefly Fun House is up next, we’ll find out what this is about after the break!

 

Dana Brooke waits outside the trainer’s room.

Charly Caruso comes by to say she’s sorry to bring this up, but we all saw what Shayna did to Mandy’s arm. How is she doing? Rough shape, really. What Shayna did was out of line. But then RECKONING attacks Dana! Retribution’s lone woman STOMPS Dana into road cases!! If what Shayna did was out of line, what does this count as?!

 

Raw presents an all new Firefly Fun House!

Bray and Alexa wave hi and say it’s so nice to see us again. But do you know what isn’t so nice? The Miz! Boo! But it’s okay. “All of those Hollywood types are exactly the same: obnoxious, pompous, vapid, willing to sacrifice their own offspring to appease their reptilian overlords, not to mention… Downright rude!” But Bray doesn’t fear Miz. He wants to help Miz with his issues. Bray offers Miz a special lesson in manners, in a match tonight! And Miz needs to pay attention. If Bray has to repeat himself, let’s just say Miz doesn’t want to see his bad side. Now, this might be short notice, but Bray has all his friends here to prepare! That’s what friends are for!

Training montage! Agility! Bray blindfolds himself and focuses his senses. He bops Mercy and Huskis! Huaaa~!! Spelling…? Bray’s word is, “jackass.” Can you use it in a sentence, please? “Just spell the damn word, you jackass!” “Jackass. M-I-Z!” YAY~! Accuracy! Ramblin’ isn’t so sure about this. Don’t worry, Bray never misses. And he hits Ramblin! How could he?! Bull’s Eye! More like rabbit’s heart! Bray is ready, hopefully Miz is, too! See you soon~!

 

BREAKING NEWS!

After the injury to Mandy’s arm, and the attack from “Reckoning” on Dana, neither of them will be able to complete on the Raw Women’s Team! Will Raw have to scramble to find replacements before this Sunday?

 

Raw Tag Team Championships: The New Day VS The Hurt Business!

Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods aren’t heading to Survivor Series just yet! They have to retain the titles in order to face SmackDown’s Street Profits! Will Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander change all that by adding more gold to the business’ treasury?

Raw returns as MVP gives us another “official announcement” from the Hurt Business. Sunday will see the best VS the best, and to make it painfully clear, no one is better than them. The All Mighty CEO, the United States Champion, Bobby Lashley, will squeeze the life out of “vermin personified,” Sami Zayn. But first, Benjamin and Alexander will take out the New Day to become the Raw Tag Team Champions, and they will take on “those clowns,” the Street Profits. And we know how that’ll go. MVP knows Alexander and Benjamin will take the titles, add them to Bobby’s title, and then Hurt Business will have a controlling interest of Raw’s gold and put SmackDown out of business.

But the New Day comes out to cut MVP off! “Now, boys. You’ve got to take the bass out your voice, because right now you’re using your outside voices.” Bring it down before the New Day throw them out. Montel Vontavius Porter, everything you said was a lie! But the one ounce of truth in that was when MVP said it will be the best VS the best! Everything else was a lie. Because the best VS the best doesn’t mean it’ll be Cedric and Shelton, oh~ no~! It’s ya bois, the NEW~ DAY~! Does the Hurt Business ever really listen to themselves? Them saying all these terrible lies, you sound like a bunch of jerks! Then do something about it. Wait, Kofi needs the punchline! The Hurt Business is more like “The Jerk Business!” Bunch o’ jerks! Wait that was the punchline? Well, in Kofi’s defense, people would be laughing if they could be here live.

But Woods says they can’t allow jerks to represent Raw as the W, W, E, World, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~! But if not them, then who? Who who who? Ya bois, the NEW~ DAY~! And do you know whyyy~? BECAAAAAAAUSE~! NEW! DAY ROCKS! The Hurt Business are riled up, but will they make the New Day look like the jerks for talking big only to fail? We find out after the break!

Raw returns and the teams sort out. Kofi starts with Alexander but MVP is still giving Alexander pointers. MVP finally steps down, Alexander circles with Kofi and they tie up. Alexander waistlocks for the mat slam then he floats to a facelock. Kofi moves around, Alexander stands on him and waistlocks again. Kofi switches, Alexander switches and gets a leg to trip Kofi! Alexander gets a headlock, Kofi moves around but Alexander gator rolls him away from Woods. Alexander headlocks, Kofi powers out but Alexander runs Kofi over! Cover, ONE, but Alexander keeps moving. Kofi hurdles, hurdles and back elbows Alexander down! Cover, ONE, but Kofi keeps his cool.

Kofi brings Alexander up and over, wrenches and then tags to Woods. Kofi snapmares then penalty kicks! Woods sliding lariats, Kofi rebound SPLASHES, Woods FIST DROPS! Cover, TWO! MVP argues the count as Woods CHOPS Alexander! Alexander throat chops then tags in Benjamin! Woods pushes Benjamin away but Benjamin runs him over! Things speed up. Woods hurdles but Benjamin whips Woods. Woods slides under to rolling elbow! Woods throws haymakers and CHOPS then climbs up in the corner. Woods rains down rights but Benjamin pushes him away. Woods returns to dropkick back! Cover, ONE!

Woods keeps on Benjamin with elbows and haymakers. Benjamin pushes Woods away to CLOBBER him! MVP likes what he sees as Benjamin drags Woods back up, for a scoop slam! And then another! Benjamin brings Woods up to whip and SPINE BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Woods stays in this but Benjamin drags Woods back up. Benjamin puts Woods in the corner, tags Alexander, and Hurt Business mugs Woods in the corner. Alexander snapmares and dropkicks Woods in the back! Cover, TWO! MVP is adamant about staying on Woods so Alexander covers again. ONE, and Alexander rains down furious fists! Alexander puts Woods in a rear bearhug, but Woods endures and fights his way up. Woods elbows but Alexander shoves and dropkicks him down! Cover, TWO!

Alexander keeps his eyes on Kofi as he drags Woods away. Tag to Benjamin, and Benjamin stomps Woods in the ribs. Benjamin keeps Woods from Kofi, puts on a chinlock, but Woods fights up and throws body shots. Woods reaches but Benjamin keeps him away, even as Woods throws haymakers. Woods keeps reaching but Benjamin reels him in, but Woods sunset flips! TOW, Benjamin clubs Woods then scoops him. Woods slips out and enziguris! Both men are down, they crawl for corners, hot tag to Kofi! Kofi springboards and ax handles Benjamin, DECKS Alexander and clobbers Benjamin! Kofi is fired up and the fans are fired up with him!

Kofi keeps moving but Benjamin gets under to kick and whip! Benjamin runs but into a boot! Kofi goes up top, throws forearms to keep Benjamin away, then leaps for the crossbody! Cover, TWO! MVP is relieved but Kofi brings Benjamin up. Benjamin throws forearms, whips Kofi to ropes, but Kofi ducks and comes back with a LEAPING LARIAT! Kofi fires up and runs, for the NEW~ DAY~ Boom- NO! Benjamin catches Kofi out of the air for a BUCKLE BOMB! Benjamin tags Alexander, Alexander climbs, DOOMSDAY DEVICE! Cover, TWO!!! Kofi survives and Alexander can’t believe it as we go to break!

Raw returns as Kofi endures a chinlock. Kofi fights his way up but Benjamin wrangles him back down. Benjamin grinds Kofi into the mat but Kofi still fight sup. Fans clap and rally as Kofi fights up and out. Benjamin gets Kofi back in the chinlock but Kofi jawbreakers free! Both men are down, slowly rise, but Benjamin puts Kofi in a corner. Benjamin rams his shoulder in, hoists Kofi up top, and throws haymakers! Benjamin climbs up to join Kofi but Kofi fights back! Kofi CHOPS Benjamin down then leaps for a TORNADO DDT! Both men are down again and fans are rallying! MVP shouts to Benjamin to dig deep and get to the corner! Benjamin and Kofi crawl, hot tags to Alexander and Woods!

Woods dodges Alexander to hit Benjamin, then dodges Alexander to come back with a LEG LARIAT! Benjamin returns, whips Woods but Woods boots him! HONOR ROLL! Alexander whips Woods but Woods reverses to send him out! Woods puts Benjamin on ropes to run, slide attack and dropkick combo! Woods drags Benjamin out and puts Alexander in. Woods goes up top and leaps, big missile dropkick! Cover, TWO!! MVP is growing worried as he shouts at Alexander. “You want to be a champion? Now’s the time!” Woods brings Alexander up to CHOP him, then fireman’s carries. Alexander fights out and suplexes but Woods slips out! Kofi tags in and Woods SUPERKICKS! Woods feeds Alexander to Kofi’s shoulder, then school boy roll to a FLYING STOMP! Cover, Benjamin breaks it!

Woods goes after Benjamin but is put on the apron, the KNEE knocks Woods down! Benjamin dumps Kofi out, too, then Alexander DIVES! Alexander almost takes himself out but he keeps going, to DIVE again! Alexander wants the hat trick, Woods comes in, so Alexander tags Benjamin while he DIVES onto Woods! Not the best take-off but Benjamin comes over to LARIAT Kofi inside-out! Benjamin throws Kofi into barriers, POSTS him, then puts him in the ring! MVP is fired up as Benjamin gets in and drags Kofi up! ANGLE SLAM!! Cover, TWO!?!? Kofi survives and MVP can’t believe it! Alexander is back and he tags in to bring Kofi up. Alexander atomic drops, Benjamin SUPERKICKS Kofi down! Alexander brings Kofi back up for  a BRAIN BUSTER!! Cover, Woods breaks it!!

Fans are fired up but MVP is frustrated. Alexander drags Kofi up to back suplex  but Kofi slips out and SUPERKICKS! Benjamin runs in but is dumped out! Benjamin skins the cat as Kofi BOOTS Alexander! TROUBLE IN PARDISE for Benjamin! Tag to Woods, DAYBREAK for Alexander! Cover, The New Day wins!!

Winners: The New Day, by pinfall (still Raw Tag Team Champions)

The 10-time W, W, E, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~ find a way to win and hold onto the gold! They are one of the best, but will they prove they are THE best in the WWE today at Survivor Series?

 

Sheamus talks with McIntyre backstage again.

Sheamus wants McIntyre to hurry, Sheamus has to get ready for his match. Well so does McIntyre! But Sheamus says that they’ve known each other for years. They know each other’s families, McIntyre’s mum was like a mum to Sheamus. But Sheamus heard about the McIntyre ancestry and he was amazed to find something that was thought to be lost forever. Something that’s dear to McIntyre and that belongs to him. Reveal! A big chest? McIntyre walks up to it, opens it up, and…

McIntyre is emotional seeing the old things again. The kilts and belts. He remembers the stories of the family history. And Sheamus has an ACTUAL claymore sword to present McIntyre! Another thing McIntyre thought he’d never see again. McIntyre thanks Sheamus for this gift. Will this be just the thing for McIntyre to become champion once again?

 

8 Man Tag: Retribution VS Raw’s Survivor Series Men’s Team!

The Phenomenal but not official captain of Team Raw may have a point: Mustafa Ali and his cohorts haven’t endeared themselves to anyone, let alone their fellow superstars. Will Braun Strowman, Sheamus, (Matt) Riddle and Keith Lee be able to unite themselves once and for all against these common enemies? Or will Retribution find a way to tear this team apart even more?

Raw returns and Ali speaks backstage. “AJ Styles and the rest of Team Raw believe that the members of Retribution are nothing more than mere pawns.” But all it takes is one right move, and even a pawn can dethrone a king. “Reckoning” Mia Yim says she already proved that Retribution is always one step ahead. Later tonight will be no different. Team Raw is everything Retribution despises: Arrogant, selfish, immoral superstars willing to do anything to get ahead. Braun, Keith, Sheamus, Riddle all act like they’re so different, but they’re exactly the same: spineless cowards looking for a chance to stab each other in the back. So all Retribution has to do is stand back and watch them fall. Retribution doesn’t need to shut down Team Raw because they’ll do that themselves. Ali’s only concern is to see if the captain is willing to go down with the ship.

Speaking of, Styles joins commentary and says Ali has been here for a cup of coffee. He has no idea what he’s talking about. Team Raw makes their entrances, from Braun to Keith to Sheamus to Riddle. Retribution makes their entrance now, getting in Team Raw’s faces already. The ref keeps the peace and the teams sort out. Slapjack starts with Riddle as Ali shouts, “AJ, you call this a team?” Riddle gets a leg but Slapjack sprawls. Riddle gets around to a waistlock then headlock but Slapjack slips out. Riddle gets Slapjack back but they end up in ropes. The two separate and Riddle kicks at Slapjack as they get up. They tie up again, Riddle gets around to a sleeper hold! Slapjack throws Riddle off but Riddle gut wrenches! And then gut wrenches again!

Slapjack scrambles away, tag to T-Bar! Riddle gets around T-Bar to PELE! Riddle runs in to forearm T-Bar into the corner! Then side to side for another! T-Bar fights off the exploder then BOOTS Keith! Riddle gets T-Bar for the BROSPLODER after all! And the BROTON! Cover, ONE! Riddle keeps on T-Bar but Styles is amazed about that kick-out. Riddle reaches but Sheamus and Braun both want the tag. SO they start shoving each other! Styles is upset and has to go over to his team. He tells Sheamus and Braun that as captain, which he isn’t yet, the team needs to keep this together. Braun shoves Styles into Jordan and Styles has to tell Jordan to stand down now! Ali might be right about Team Raw as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and T-Bar has Riddle down with a chinlock! Riddle fights up but T-Bar throws him down! Cover, TWO! T-Bar keeps on Riddle with body shots and tags in Mace. Mace tags in Slapjack before he and T-Bar DOUBLE KNEE Riddle! Then they double hip toss CANNONBALL Slapjack into Riddle! Cover but Sheamus breaks it! Slapjack drags Riddle away, tags in Ali and Ali looms over Riddle. “AJ, are you watching?” Ali KICKS Riddle, then makes Styles watch. Riddle CHOPS back, but Ali spins him around for a neckbreaker! Cover, TWO! Styles is relieved but Ali drags Riddle up. “I want you to watch what a team can do!” Ali stomps a mudhole, tags T-Bar in and T-Bar stomps a mudhole of his own! T-Bar talks trash to the rest of Team Raw before he goes back to Riddle.

T-Bar drags Riddle up by his hair, tags Mace in, but Riddle fights back! Mace shoves Riddle, he and T-Bar double BOOT Riddle down! Cover, TWO! Riddle survives again but Mace tags in Slapjack. “We are judge, jury and executioner, AJ!” Slapjack clubs Riddle down then taunts the team. Riddle blocks a kick to an ANKLE LOCK! Slapjack rolls and throws Riddle off, but Riddle fireman’s carries! Slapjack fights out, ducks a kick and reels Riddle in for a ripcord KNEE! But Riddle hits a BROSPLODER! They both crawl, hot tags to Ali and Keith! Ali sees the Limitless One and runs away! Mace swing son Keith but Keith runs him over! And he runs T-Bar over! And corner splashes Mace and then T-Bar! And then he hits Slapjack!

Keith tosses Slapjack AT Mace and T-Bar! Then Keith POUNCES Slapjack down! Styles is excited to see this as Keith dead lifts Slapjack and swings him into Mace! And into T-Bar! And then Keith tosses Slapjack aside to double clothesline T-Bar and Mace out! They land on their feet to drag Keith out! Ali distracts the ref but Keith choke grips! Ali DIVES and sends Keith into the desk!! Retribution puts Keith in, Ali covers, TWO!! Braun and Sheamus decide to work together, and they flank Retribution! The Strowman Express DERAILS Mace and T-Bar!! Slapjack runs into a BROGUE!! Styles is loving this! Keith CHOKE SLAMS Ali! Sheamus tags in without notice, but then so does Braun!

Styles is disappointed again but Braun brings Ali up. Sheamus pushes Ali down and he argues with Braun again! Braun shoves Sheamus out of the ring! Riddle tags in and now Braun shoves Riddle down! Styles can’t believe his team is falling apart like this! Ali shoves Riddle into Braun AND Keith, and then rolls riddle up! RETRIBUTION WINS!!

Winner: Retribution, by pinfall

Just as Ali said it would go! Team Raw could not hold it together long enough and now they’re imploding! Styles is mad at all of them for letting it go this way when they had it won! Will this be exactly how Survivor Series turns out?

 

Nikki Cross is searching the halls.

She asks if anyone’s seen Alexa Bliss but no one’s seen her. Sarah comes by to ask Nikki about last week’s ultimatum, Fiend or Nikki. Alexa chose Fiend, so why is Nikki still trying to find her? Nikki says that friends never give up on friends. Last week wasn’t Alexa, it was whatever Bray has done to her. “No matter what, I have to get Lexi away from The Fiend. No matter what.” But what will that entail?

Sarah then spots Jeff Hardy up to something. He’s tearing down posters. It’s Elias still acting like the case of Hardy’s hit ‘n’ run is still going! Hardy knows it from the phone number, too: 555-AMEN. Elias’ skills with Photoshop are about as good as his musical ones. If Elias wants information, Hardy will give him the big break he’s after. Will the Charismatic Enigma finally enlighten The Drifter?

 

Raw returns and Hardy finds Elias.

Hardy throws Elias’ fliers in his face and asks what these are about. Elias says he’s looking for justice to be served. “The powers that be” haven’t found the man who tried to end Elias’ career, so Elias is taking this into his own hands. Does Hardy have something to report? Hardy keeps telling Elias that he didn’t do it! Elias says Hardy is the only one who knows exactly what happened that night, because he’s the one who did it. Hardy slams Elias against lockers and tells him he was proven innocent! How many times does Hardy have to say it? If Elias keeps accusing Hardy of something he didn’t do, Hardy will be found guilty of a lot worse. “Can I get an amen, brother?!” Hardy shoves Elias as he storms off, and Elias says we’ll just have to find out.

 

The Miz w/ John Morrison VS Bray Wyatt w/ Alexa Bliss!

This isn’t the first time the Hollywood A-Lister and Bray Wyatt have had beef, but Miz’s past might come back to  haunt him. He gets a mic to say, “Listen, Bray. I know we haven’t seen eye to eye as of late.” Bray sent a demonic doll to torment Miz’s daughter, and now Miz said some things that were out of line. Both unacceptable, one more than the other, but not the point! Let’s just consider all things water under the bridge. Like Leonardo da Vinci once said, “Water is the driving force of all nature.” Wait, really? Yeah, it flows only one way. But the point is, there is no reason to have this match. None! They should find a peaceful solution. And the solution is that Orton and McIntyre are having a title match tonight. This is the perfect opportunity for them both! Bray wants after Orton, Miz wants the title, they can work together and make everyone’s dreams come true! “What do you say, pal?”

Alexa Bliss makes her entrance, with a properly twisted remix of her music. “He says… NO.” But Nikki shows up to try and tell Alexa Bray is bad news! Alexa needs to stop this! Leave the Fun House! Please! For your best friend? Alexa says Nikki is right. But then she SLAPS Nikki and fires off furious fists! Nikki hits back and they scrap on the stage! Officials hurry out to stop this, and now Bray comes out, and Alexa calms down! Bray looks disapprovingly at Nikki, then laughs and goes arm-in-arm with Alexa to the ring. Miz and Morrison are even more afraid, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Bray is in the ring, smiling at Miz. The bell rings and Bray says to hold on. He tells Miz this doesn’t have to be this way, just shake his hand and Bray will forgive him. Miz isn’t trusting that and he throws a haymaker! Bray just laughs as Miz hits him more! And CHOPS and whips! Bray reverses to body check Miz down! Alexa laughs as Bray says, “Oopsie daisy!” Bray drags Miz up but Miz kicks and clubs him to the ropes! Miz chokes Bray, lets off at 4, but Morrison gets a cheap shot in! That only angers Bray! Alexa spooks Morrison from the corner, but Miz shouts at Alexa. Bray DECKS Miz with an uppercut, then rains down uppercuts and forearms! Miz flounders out and Bray says Miz should never talk to Alexa like that!

Bray RAMS Miz into steel steps! Bray chokes Miz, drags him up and puts him in the ring. Bray calms down and blows a kiss to Alexa before he gets in the ring. But Miz BOOTS back! Bray just gets angry again. But then Bray laughs as he chases after Miz on the apron. Miz hotshots back, gets up top, and leaps to ax handle Bray down! Basement DDT! Cover, ONE!? Miz can’t believe it! Miz throws haymakers on Bray then gives him It Kicks! Bray sits up again but gets more kicks! And more kicks! And more, and more, and more! Miz glares at Alexa before he aims at Bray. Bray ducks the Buzzsaw and table tops Miz, to then get him for- No! Miz escapes Sister Abigail and runs, into a LARIAT!!

Bray glares at Miz as Alexa cheers. Corner splash! Whip, but Miz dodges, only to get another body check! Bray is wild eyed as he gives Miz an URENAGE! Bray isn’t done, he drags Miz up for the NECK TWIST! Morrison is worried for Miz as Bray does the spider walk in the corner! Morrison swipes at Bray but that only gets Bray’s eyes on him! Morrison backs away slowly, but then Alexa LEAPS onto him and they go over the barriers!! But Miz clobbers Bray, and hits an A-List Lariat in the corner! Miz seethes but Bray just glare at him! SISTER ABIGAIL!! Cover, Bray wins!

Winner: Bray Wyatt, by pinfall

Bray calms down and Alexa rises up with a big smile on her face. Alexa walks on the barrier like a tight rope, singing along with the theme song. Bray helps her down and they walk off hand in hand. But then he shows himself on the titantron. Bray and Alexa stare blankly into space before disappearing. Will the Firefly Fun House friends slowly but surely take over all of Raw?

 

Every story has a beginning, middle and end.

“But no two stories are ever the same.” For Drew McIntyre, he lives a hero’s tale. The proud warrior faces trials and tribulations. Released from the WWE, the journey back to greatness was long and hard. McIntyre never surrenders, and that is why he lived his dream at WrestleMania. “But even this noblest of tales can suffer a catastrophic twist from outta nowhere.” For Orton’s story followed “a more sinister plot.” Orton is a man who stops at nothing, does whatever he wants to whoever he wants, to fulfill a preordained legacy. “I know what I desire, and I desire to become champion again.” Now these divergent tales are heading for the same fateful chapter. Orton says he is the best, but the story is not over. McIntyre made sure to make Orton’s life a living hell. Beginning, middle, end, who writes their story with their own actions?

 

Backstage interview with Adam Pearce.

Pearce again says that the Raw Women’s Team is down two members because of injuries to Mandy and Dana tonight. He has no choice but to add Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce to the team. Thank you for the update, Adam Pearce. And now, Charly interviews Asuka in regards to her match with Sasha Banks. Asuka is fired up for this match with Sasha! She will beat her at Survivor Series because no one is ready for Asuka!! The Empress is so fired up, will she burn The Boss down?

 

Backstage with Randy Orton.

What is his confidence level right now? Orton tells Charly that he has a long list of distractions right now. Bray lurking, Miz and the MITB briefcase, Roman at Survivor Series, but of course his match up next. Don’t be on that long list of distractions. The Viper is coiled and ready to strike, will he take McIntyre down one last time?

 

Angel Garza speaks.

“When I was a kid, there would always be roses growing in the garden. Red, yellow, white, they were all so beautiful! But they had sharp, painful thorns to protect themselves.” To Garza, all the women in the world are like the roses. Garza likes to think of himself as a thorn protecting that beauty. Look at the man next to you and ask yourself, “Will he protect you like a thorn does a rose?” Is he willing to inflict pain to defend her beauty? Garza is. And his rose, is for you.

 

Nia and Shayna talk backstage.

Why did Shayna stomp Mandy’s arm that hard? Can’t she hold back or something? Oh please, Nia put Lana through a table nine weeks now. Pulverizing Lana is in good fun. The team could’ve actually used Mandy and Dana. Well first of all, don’t put Dana on Shayna, that was “Reckoning.” Secondly, they don’t need anyone on their team. The only two that ever mattered were Nia and Shayna. But Lacey and Peyton come over, and Lacey says “you two nasties” better not think they can push them around. They weren’t thinking about you at all.

Peyton says what Lacey is trying to say is that they’re all very excited to be on the team, and are wondering if they want to talk strategy. Seriously? Well, not if they’re busy. Peyton drags Lacey away and Nia says this is Shayna’s fault. This is the worst idea since… Quibi. What’s Nia got again Quibi?

WWE World Championship: Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

We may have seen these two battle for the title over and over again, from SummerSlam to Clash of Champions to Hell in a Cell, but those were all with the Scottish Stud defending the title. Orton won after three, will McIntyre win the title back his first try?

McIntyre takes a little longer to make his entrance, because he finishes dressing in his ancestral kilt! And carrying THE McIntyre claymore, too! “There can only be one!!” McIntyre stabs the sword into the stage and flames erupt! McIntyre is ready for war! Will “what was lost, thought never to be found again” help McIntyre reclaim the title?

Raw returns again as Orton makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and what could very well be the final chapter between these two finally begins!

Orton and McIntyre circle, tie up, and they go around. McIntyre puts Orton in a corner, Orton pushes out and headlocks, but McIntyre slips in to headlock back. Orton pulls hair, powers out but McIntyre runs him over! McIntyre dares Orton to get back up but Orton stays low. McIntyre smirks as he and Orton circle again. They tie up, Orton kicks low and clubs McIntyre on the back. Orton throws hands but McIntyre throws counter punches! McIntyre ROCKS Orton then headbutts him down! McIntyre stomps Orton’s hand, much like Orton might! McIntyre brings Orton up and throws hands, but Orton gives them back! ANOTHER headbutt rocks Orton! Orton holds his face, McIntyre runs, but Orton follows, only to run into a SPINE BUSTER! Jackknife cover, TWO!

Orton scrambles away, still checking his face. Orton grabs the belt and McIntyre sees he wants to use Champion’s Advantage! McIntyre won’t allow that and he pursues! McIntyre clobbers Orton from behind, drags Orton up and bumps him off barriers! And then says, “You belong to me!” before he puts Orton in the ring. Orton is dazed, McIntyre aims, but Orton ducks the Claymore like HIAC! Orton bails out again, grabs the belt of the ground, and considers leaving again. But Adam Pearce cuts him off at the ramp! Pearce says there will be NO HOLDS BARRED NOW!! Will the Viper stand a chance against McIntyre now that the rules have changed?

WWE World Championship No Holds Barred: Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

Raw returns once again and Orton throw haymakers but McIntyre gives them back. They brawl back and forth, Orton kicks low then whips McIntyre to a corner. McIntyre comes back to clothesline Orton! McIntyre whips but Orton reverses to the back2backbreaker! Orton bails out to use the No DQ stipulation and he brings in a chair! Orton aims and JAMS McIntyre, then SMACKS him on the back! McIntyre writhes but Orton looms over him. Orton mockingly asks how McIntyre is doing. McIntyre paws at Orton but Orton JAMS McIntyre with the chair more! McIntyre holds the chair off as Orton goes after the jaw! Orton presses the steel into McIntyre’s face! Orton finally lets off but he grins as he aims again.

Another SMACK on McIntyre’s back sends him writhing to a corner! Orton covers, TWO! Another, ONE! Another, ONE! Orton pushes McIntyre out and follows behind, and he gives McIntyre a BARRIER BACK SUPLEX! McIntyre falls in a heap and Orton goes right to the steel steps. Orton aims at McIntyre as McIntyre rises, and RAMS him down! Orton drags McIntyre back up and puts him in the ring. Cover, TWO!! McIntyre is still in this and Orton can’t believe it! Orton keeps McIntyre from grabbing the chair as he stomps onto the bad jaw! Then a knee, then a foot, then a hand! Orton drops a knee right on McIntyre’s head, then covers, TWO! Orton doesn’t let off as he throws McIntyre right back out. Orton tosses the chair, no longer needing it.

Orton stalks McIntyre to the announce desk, but McIntyre blocks the bump to CHOP back! Orton pokes McIntyre’s eyes! McIntyre staggers about, Orton clears off the desk and brings McIntyre back. Orton throws uppercuts, then gives McIntyre an ANNOUNCE DESK BCK SUPLEX! The ref checks on McIntyre but he won’t give up like this. Orton climbs up to ground ‘n’ pound McIntyre into the desk! Orton makes sure to go after the bad jaw, too! “The title’s mine! It’ll never be yours again, you hear me?!” Orton drags McIntyre off the desk, just to back suplex him back onto it! McIntyre writhes but Orton clears some space.

Orton drags McIntyre up and around, but McIntyre blocks this third one! McIntyre punches Orton back, throws haymakers and has Orton against the desk! McIntyre punches Orton until he’s on the desk, then brings him up for a DESK BACK SUPLEX of his own! McIntyre brings Orton up for a second DESK BACK SUPLEX! Orton sputters and curses under his breath while McIntyre seethes. McIntyre gets some space, aims at Orton, runs in and CLAY- NO! Orton moves and McIntyre crashes and burns off the desk! McIntyre is down and writhing as Raw goes picture in picture!

Orton rests against the ring apron while McIntyre is still down. McIntyre gets up slowly as the ref checks on him. Orton goes searching under the ring again and he brings out a table! But Orton also moves slowly from all the damage he’s taken, so McIntyre is rising from behind the desk! McIntyre tumbles from the pain in his back, Orton gets the table up. Raw returns to single picture as Orton hobbles over to McIntyre. Orton brings McIntyre over, but McIntyre blocks the bump off steps to give it to Orton! McIntyre puts Orton in the ring but Orton kicks him down! Cover, TWO! Orton keeps on McIntyre by pulling hair and wrapping on a chinlock. McIntyre endures as Orton squeezes tight.

Fans rally up and McIntyre fights his way up. McIntyre throws body shots, throws haymakers and a CHOP! McIntyre whips and OVERHEAD SUPLEXES Orton! Then does it again from the corner! McIntyre grits his teeth as he demands Orton stand. Orton rises, McIntyre runs in, leaping neckbreaker! And a kip up! McIntyre says he still has plenty left! He watches Orton rise again, kicks low and underhooks, but no Future Shock! McIntyre kicks him again to whip Orton to a corner, but Orton puts McIntyre on the apron. McIntyre climbs up, Orton haymakers first then throws more hands as he climbs up to join McIntyre. McIntyre hits back, they brawl up top but Orton gets McIntyre up, for a SUPERPLEX! But both men are down, Orton has to crawl to a cover! TWO!!

Orton is too sore to be frustrated. He and McIntyre slowly rise, and he goes to RKO but McIntyre backslides! TWO, but McIntyre hits FUTURE SHOCK! Cover, TWO!! Orton survives both what beat him at SummerSlam and what would normally beat normal men! McIntyre drags Orton back up, fireman’s carries but Orton fights free to the apron. McIntyre hotshots Orton but Orton holds on! McIntyre JABS Orton, pie faces him, and then CHOPS him! Orton falls through the table!! McIntyre grins as he drags Orton back up from the wreckage and puts him back in the ring. Cover, TWO!! Orton survives and McIntyre is beside himself!

McIntyre goes to a corner, seethes as he aims at Orton again, and Orton rises, to POWERSLAM McIntyre out of the Claymore! Both men are down again, their backs both killing them! Orton’s back has a cut on it and it’s bleeding slightly as he stalks McIntyre outside and to the desk. Orton drags McIntyre along for a DRAPING DDT! A bit double-edged given Orton’s back but he won’t let up. Orton goes to the ring, drags McIntyre up through the ropes, for another DRAPING DDT! Fans give thumbs down as Orton hears the voices in his head! McIntyre sits up in a daze, Orton stalks up behind him, but McIntyre shoves him away! CLAYMORE OUTTA NOWHERE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall (NEW WWE World Champion)

The conquering hero is a two-time WWE World Champion!! And now he tells “the head of the table” to set a place for him this Sunday, because McIntyre’s coming for him! Will McIntyre finally prove HE is #TheBestoftheBest against Roman Reigns at Survivor Series?


My Thoughts:

What a great Raw for the go-home to Survivor Series! The main story with the world title and everyone related was great stuff. McIntyre doing a great opening promo, Miz and Morrison with a pretty good promo to remind us about the MITB chances, McIntyre scaring them off, good stuff. Firefly Fun House with Bray’s response to Miz was good stuff, and I just knew the spelling bee would have that kind of punchline. Bray VS Miz, with Alexa, Morrison and even Nikki having their own parts to play, was great stuff, too. I really need to see Alexa VS Nikki be a thing for at least Royal Rumble, possibly a rematch at WrestleMania and that is where we get the second ever Firefly Fun House match. Now obviously there was no cash-in tonight because Miz got beat up by Bray so it’s totally logical.

McIntyre VS Orton was incredible, practically PPV worthy in itself, and it has been quite some time since I’ve seen a table cut someone’s back up. It is amazing for McIntyre to win the title back and give us McIntyre VS Roman for Survivor Series. It was also good for Roman not to show up and step on McIntyre’s moment, McIntyre needed to have the ending of Raw alone to himself. Now, I feel like my idea for Miz cashing in during the World VS Universal Championship could still happen, but could also be disrupted any number of ways. For one, would Miz have to specify he’s after the world title and not the Universal? That could cause hesitation that then costs him. But there’s also the chances Jey Uso shows up to defend Roman, which can also be used as a pivotal moment in the Tribal Chief story, which I would love to see.

The Women’s Division story took an interesting turn. Mandy and Dana being sidelined from Survivor Series seems like a shame, but it at least meant “Reckoning” Mia Yim something to do tonight. Obviously Peyton and Lacey were going to replace Mandy and Dana, there are no other women to join the team right now. I did appreciate their bit with Nia and Shayna, and while Peyton and Lacey have similarly entertaining “not friends but still a team” chemistry, I don’t know why Vince broke IIconics up just to make another odd couple team. Asuka had a fairly goofy promo to hype up her match with Sasha Banks, but I think Asuka’s build to Survivor Series has been very lacking because of so many women being involved in the tag team story. And in Lana’s own role in this, I wish Nia had spared her this week, so that it can be even a slight surprise at Survivor Series if she gets put through a desk again.

Not sure how to feel about Elias and Hardy continuing the feud. Elias should just let it go, but then he wouldn’t have a feud with anyone. The Raw Tag Team Championship match was incredible stuff, but I’m glad New Day wins. It would make all the segments Big E and The Street Profits have had completely pointless. Profits want after New Day so it’s great that they get what they want, and that match will be great stuff, too. Unless SmackDown pulls the rug out from under this with a SmackDown Tag Team Championship match where Profits lose. SmackDown’s the cooler show so they probably wouldn’t do that.

The Raw Men’s Team had a lot of great stuff tonight. They had great character work arguing about things, and I liked the bit of banter with Styles and Jordan. Though, clearly WWE is just scrubbing Raw Underground continuity about Jordan. He talked to Shane all the time, Styles should know Jordan can speak English! Ali had a really good promo and it seemed natural that Team Raw fell apart as he said. I just wish Retribution would be written as better characters. Ali shouldn’t be chicken Heel, T-Bar should be on the same power level as Dijak, and the 8 Man Tag should’ve been amazing from start to finish. Dijak and Keith should’ve given us some reminders of NXT and then part of the story is that Keith feels like he’s met T-Bar before, a totally tongue in cheek way of hinting at who T-Bar really is behind the mask. That would be the ultimate way to redeem what Vince has done to Retribution.

My Score: 8.6/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

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The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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