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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (11/2/20)

Whose tag division is this, really?

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WWE Raw Coverage 3.0

Raw is only escalating things towards Survivor Series!

Before #TheBestoftheBest battle for brand supremacy, the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions and Raw Tag Team Champions take on their hopeful challengers in non-title action!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Guitar on a Pole Match: Elias VS Jeff Hardy; Hardy wins.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler VS Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke; Jax & Baszler win and retain the titles.
  • R-Truth VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP; Lashley wins.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Mighty Bad Decisions: R-Truth VS Drew Gulak VS Bobby Lashley; Gulak wins and becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier Triple Threat: Braun Strowman VS Keith Lee VS Sheamus; Strowman wins and joins Team Raw.
  • Lana VS Nia Jax w/ Shayna Baszler; Jax wins.
  • The New Day VS Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander w/ The Hurt Business; The Hurt Business wins.
  • Ricochet VS Tucker; Ricochet wins.
  • 2v1 Handicap: The Miz & John Morrison VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Randy Orton is here!

The Apex Predator is looking more like prey with all the contenders after his title. But the Viper is keeping his head on a swivel as he and his WWE World Championship stand in the ring in front of the ThunderDome screens. “Eight days ago, I became WWE Champion. Eight days ago, I became a 14-time world champion.” Eight days ago, Orton proved he is the best of the best. But no. That doesn’t do him any justice. Orton isn’t just the best of the best, he proved he is THE BEST, period. “I am better than Edge. I am better than The Undertaker. I am better than Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair, John Cena and most certainly I am better than Drew McIntyre.”

Orton proved he is better than everyone in the locker room who have been lying to themselves year after year after year, saying that the only reason Orton is where he is is because he grew up in the business. He is a third generation wrestler, that HHH protected him and “management” chose him. No! Those superstars are mistaken. The reason Orton is where he is is because Orton is… The Best. Eight days ago, Orton showed the world that he isn’t the Legend Killer. “I am now simply… A legend.” And with this championship comes great responsibility and a great big target. He welcomes being a target! He dares anyone in the back to come and try to take the title from him! It doesn’t matter if it’s McIntyre, The Miz, Roman Reigns or The Fiend, Bray Wyatt! Orton will be right here so come and get him!

But it’s Alexa Bliss that walks out instead! She walks down to the ramp and joins Orton in the ring with another mischievous smile on her face. Orton paces around her and asks where “he” is. She has gloves of her own! “Play” and “Pain!” And the one that stays up is… pain. “He. Could. Be. Here!” And the lights turn red! The Fiend has taken over the ThunderDome, but where is he?! Orton demands he show himself but Bray isn’t playing by Orton’s rules. MCINTYRE IS HERE, THOUGH! WITH A CLAYMORE!! Orton is down, and McIntyre grabs the belt. “If you dare me, I dare you to give me my rematch. Until then, I’m going to make your life a living hell!” Orton tried to goad The Fiend into something, but he got the Scottish Psychopath instead!

Wait, wait! The Miz and Morrison are making their move!! Mr. Money in the Bank and his best friend are here, shouting for a referee! The ref is here, the contract is handed off, but McIntyre is attacking first! He throws Miz out, then scoops Morrison to TOSS him onto Miz! No cash-in tonight! McIntyre says Miz won’t be the one to take the title from Orton, McIntyre is! And if they try again, he’ll knock them on their asses! Orton was both attacked and saved by McIntyre, will he give McIntyre that rematch?

 

Backstage interview with The Miz and John Morrison.

But they are in no mood! Firstly, the bell did NOT ring, so Miz is still Mr. MITB. FACT! Secondly, McIntyre had NO business sticking “his ugly nose” into their business! FACT! Does McIntyre know who he is? He’s The Miz! FACT! He’s Mr. MITB! FACT! And he was THAT close to being WWE World Champion again! FACT!! Miz says McIntyre is a selfish child who won’t let anyone else get their way if he can’t get his! He couldn’t let Miz have his moment! Just because McIntyre’s 19 year dream is over doesn’t mean he can ruin everyone else’s dream! FACT! McIntyre lost, he has to get over it! FACT!! It’s time for someone else to step in and be the star of Raw. FACT!!

Morrison says McIntyre has no idea what he just did, ruining a “twice in a lifetime” opportunity. He just pissed off the two guys in this company that you don’t want to anger. They challenge McIntyre to a handicap match for tonight! If he has the stones to accept it.

 

Guitar on a Pole Match: Elias VS Jeff Hardy!

“Ladies and gentlemen: Elias.” The Drifter is already in the ring with one guitar while another is on the pole. He introduces himself and says there comes a time in every man’s life when he must admit the truth to himself. Elias says Hardy did that in trying to run him over. In an instant, Hardy realized Elias had surpassed him. That is proven by how Elias’ album, Universal Truth, went to #1 on the charts in a night. Someone asked him about this match stipulation, and Elias’ initial reaction was, “Are you crazy?” You’re going to take one of his guitars and put it on a pole?! Elias is making hit after hit, he’s number one in the world!

But then he had a moment of clarity. Elias could do something special and make beautiful art in a different way. Elias will climb the pole, retrieve one of his beautiful Fenders, and then SMASH it on Hardy’s back. That could be his greatest hit ever! But his greatest hit now is Amen, off the new album, available to the world right now. Here is an acoustic cover of that right now. But Hardy interrupts just as the first verse gets started! Will Hardy be the one rocking and rolling as he smashes Elias to pieces?

The bell rings and they both go for the pole! Elias keeps Hardy from it but Hardy does the same. They brawl, Elias headlocks but Hardy powers out. Elias runs Hardy over, keeps moving but Hardy comes back to hip toss, only for Elias to counter! Elias scoops and tosses Hardy into ropes! Hardy goes out, Elias goes up, but Hardy drags him out! Hardy bumps Elias off barriers and steel steps, then goes around the way to build speed. Hardy LEAPS off the steps and Elias is sent into barriers! Elias scrambles away and Hardy goes up to the corner. Hardy climbs, but Elias throws his stool at Hardy! Direct hit and Hardy goes down as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns as Elias stomps a mudhole into Hardy! Elias whips and runs Hardy over with an elbow! Hardy is in a daze but Elias drags him up. Elias suplexes but Hardy slips out to run for the pole! Elias clubs him first, brings him around but Hardy spinning back kicks Elias away! Hardy is right at the corner again, but he’s slow to getting up. Elias clubs Hardy, brings him around to throw forearms, then CHOPS him! Hardy staggers, Elias CHOPS him again! Elias chokes Hardy on the ropes, and clubs him down! Elias whips, Hardy ducks and kicks back, but no Twist yet! Hardy runs but into Elias’ KNEE! Both men are down, fans clap and rally up. Elias crawls and fans give thumbs down. Elias is climbing, Hardy is right behind him and trips him up! Elias hits buckles and is down again!

Fans rally, Elias and Hardy stand and brawl with haymakers! Hardy counter punches and Elias is punch drunk! Hardy fires off and whips, Elias reverses but Hardy runs him over! Hardy atomic drops, trips Elias up and hits the leg splitter leg drop! Basement dropkick and elbow drop, too! Fans clap as Hardy heads up to the pole! Elias CLUBS Hardy, has the Electric Chair and spin, but Hardy huricanranas! Kick and TWIST OF FATE! Hardy throws his shirt off, goes up to the top rope and grabs the guitar! But Elias is there to grab at him! Hardy kicks Elias away, and he gets the guitar! FLYING GUITAR SMASH!! Cover, Hardy wins!!

Winner: Jeff Hardy, by pinfall

Now that was a smash hit! And then Hardy finishes the guitar off by SMASHING it against the pole! Will Hardy finally move past Elias’ grudge to get himself back on track towards gold?

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler VS Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke!

Naturally, the champions of the Women’s Tag Division should be seen as the leaders of that division. Therefore, the leaders of Team Raw should be the champions. But will the Irresistible Force and Queen of Spades still be the champions and leaders in this match against, as Asuka put it, The Sexy Muscle Friends?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and this battle for supremacy begins!

But wait, the fifth member of Team Raw appears! Lana wants to watch her team face off. Nia and Dana start and Nia shoves Dan adown. Nia scoops but Dana gets around to sleeper hold! Nia rams Dana into buckles until she’s free, then she brings Dana up, only for Dana to hit a jawbreaker! Dana tags Mandy, Mandy dropkicks and whips but Nia reverses! Mandy tilt-o-whirls to an OCOTPUS! Nia stays standing, powers out but Mandy fires off forearms! Dana tags in, Nia scoops Mandy and lifts her up, but Dana chop blocks Nia! Mandy hits KNEE FROM A ROSE! Dana hits a HANDSPRING SPLASH! Cover, Shayna breaks it! Tag to Shayna and she goes after Dana.

Dana kicks a leg out, tags Mandy in, and the Sexy Muscle Friends double suplex! Mandy covers, TWO! Mandy keeps close with a rear bearhug but Shayna switches to an armlock suplex! Shayna tells Lana to just shut up and stay away. Lana doesn’t appreciate that, and Mandy hits Shayna with a forearm! Dana tags in, dodges and rallies with clotheslines! Dana rocks Shayna with an enziguri! Shayna goes to a corner, Dana fires off with fast hands! The ref counts, Shayna shoves but Dana whips. Dana handsprings in for the back elbow, then a BULLDOG! Cover, Mandy intercepts Nia but TWO!! Shayna survives and Nia CLOBBERS Mandy in return! Shayna drags Dana in but Dana drops down to victory roll! TWO!

Shayna gets up, Dana knees her low! Dana whips Shayna but Shayna slides out. Lana is hiding for some reason so Shayna goes after her! But Dana baseball slides Shayna down! Lana seems to be helping Dana out! Dana hits another handspring, but into a KIRAFUDA KLUTCH! Lana distracts everyone so Shayna drags her in! Dana O’Conner rolls but now the ref is distracted! TWO and Dana bumps into Lana! KIRAFUDA KLUTCH!! Dana taps, the champs win!!

Winners: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, by submission (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

The Ravishing Russian tried but failed to be the deciding factor against the dominant duo, and now Team Raw’s chemistry may be worse than before!

 

Backstage interview with Randy Orton.

He clearly has a target on his back, does he think it’ll be hard to hold onto the title? Orton finds it amusing that so many people forget how easy it is for the hunter to become the hunted. Orton thinks McIntyre needs a reminder of that, and that will come sooner than later, in the form of an R… K… O. But Ramblin’ Rabbit is watching! Is Orton forgetting a certain someone in this title hunt?

 

R-Truth is here!

The FORTY-TWO TIME 24/7 Champion goes to the ring and is about to face Bobby Lashley in non-title competition. But why would he accept a match against the All Mighty? Uh, no, you’re mistaken. Truth isn’t facing Bobby Lashley, the one who wants to put people in the Nelson from the Simpsons. Truth is here to meet the Water Boy, Bobby Bouche. Um… No, this is Truth VS Lashley. Good luck. But who’s gonna sign his favorite water bottle?

R-Truth VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP!

Uh oh. Will the Rocky Mountain Machine simply bulldoze his way through Truth as he heads for his match against the Intercontinental Champion, Sami Zayn?

The bell rings, Truth says they’re both champions, but this is a non-title match so this match shouldn’t even happen. Truth lies down for Lashley! Unless this is about that Instagram post. Lashley grabs Truth but Truth kicks him away! And throws forearms! Lashley shoves, Truth kicks low and runs, but misses the scissor kick! Lashley SPEARS! And then the HURT LOCK!! Truth is OUT, Lashley wins!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by submission

The United States Champion isn’t done with the 24/7 Champion as he puts the Hurt Lock BACK ON! Truth is already a rag doll but Lashley thrashes him about more! Lashley throws Truth down and surely Sami Zayn is watching. Will “The Champion of the People” be more careful with what he says and does against The All Mighty?

Wait, Drew Gulak runs in, he wants that 24/7 Championship! But Lashley drags Gulak off the cover to gut wrench and DOMINATOR! And then the HURT LOCK! The GuLock ain’t got nothing on the Hurt Lock! Gulak is OUT, and Lashley then puts Gulak on top of Truth? Gulak still wins?!

Winner: Drew Gulak, by pinfall (NEW WWE 24/7 Champion)

Lashley just made an example of the entire 24/7 Championship Division! But he isn’t satisfied?! Gulak is still out cold on top of Truth, Lashley stands over them both. He leaves it at this, surprisingly. Will Sami wish he’d let someone else be Intercontinental Champion after all?

 

Lucha House Party meets up backstage.

Lince Dorado tells Gran Metalik that Gulak won the 24/7 title and they can still go get him. But they almost run into Jordan Omogbehin. AJ Styles asks if there’s a problem. No, not at all. They were going to go the other way anyhow. Styles and the “big man” are headed for gorilla, and we’ll find out why, after the break.

 

Backstage interview with Nia Jax.

Tonight, Lana- Do NOT say that name in her presence. Don’t even think about Lana in her presence. Lana somehow gets on Nia’s team and then thinks it’s okay to put Nia’s title in jeopardy? All because she’s a little “butt hurt” over being smashed through the table? Well, she did that to Lana six- Didn’t she just say NOT to say her name?! Lana thinks she’s a fighter, that she picks herself up again. Let’s see if Lana can do that again. Because by the end of tonight, Lana will either not be on the team, or not be on the show. In fact, Nia might just end Lana’s career! What will happen when the Irresistible Force gets her hands on the Ravishing Russian?

 

AJ Styles heads to the ring!

The Phenomenal One is already Team Raw for Survivor Series, with Keith Lee and Sheamus following, but Styles and Jordan are here so Styles can speak. Jordan keeps watch on the outside while Styles says, “This past Friday night, we learned that SmackDown isn’t playing around at Survivor Series.” Jey Uso and Kevin Owens are on the team, and the other three will surely be just as talented. But not to worry, Raw already has the advantage. One advantage is, in Styles’ opinion, what SmackDown lacks someone with the intangibles of a leader. “Someone who has that it factor. Someone who can take a team, mold them together, and dominate! Someone like… me!” Yes, Captain Styles is reporting for duty! But is there really any other option? He has intangibles for days! His intangibles have intangibles! Why would you not a captain of #TheBestoftheBest who is THE very best?

So with his first order as team captain, Styles wants to get a rally cry going to introduce HIS team! Starting with: The Celtic Warrior, SHEAMUS! Sheamus does head out to join Styles in the ring, and then is the powerhouse, KEITH LEE! The Limitless One does join Styles and Sheamus but he’s a bit perplexed as to why they need to do this. But Styles wants them to listen and understand the reason he’s brought them out here. “Because you’re the best of the best.” And their success is Styles’ success. It doesn’t matter who they’ll face from SmackDown. Whether it’s Jey Uso, Kevin Owens, Rey Mysterio, Dominik, who cares? It could even be Angie Mysterio!

Keith wants Styles to hold on. Styles insist he be addressed as captain. Keith doesn’t believe anyone agreed to that. And he reminds Styles that if he thinks his “sizeable friend” is enough to intimidate them, think twice. Styles says this is inexperience talking. The veterans should show Keith the way. Sheamus actually agrees with Keith here. Before Styles stepped up from the “minor leagues,” Sheamus was running rampant in the WWE for years. And Styles may have “Lurch” here, and he’s feeling all brave, but the truth is, Sheamus will NEVER take orders from Styles. That’s CAPTAIN Styles! No it’s not! This is so disrespectful! Don’t they realize what’s at stake?! If they beat Team SmackDown, imagine what it will do for his legacy!

But BRAUN storms out!? The Monster sees everyone in the ring and says he’ll settle this for them. The only thing this team needs is Strowman. It doesn’t matter from SmackDown, Raw has the monster on its team. No, they all had to qualify, so Mr. Monster will have to do the same. Strowman lists his qualifications: He eliminated the single most talent in a Survivor Series match, he was on a winning team about 12 times! And maybe Keith forgot, but Strowman beat him clean. So clearly, his qualifications should have him be THE CAPTAIN! Now Styles gets upset! Everyone is arguing but Adam Pearce comes out. As much as Pearce would love to put Strowman on Team Raw, he hasn’t found a good enough qualification match for him. Mostly because no one is willing to face him.

Keith wants everyone to “hold the hell on.” Keith wanted to let things pass, but who do you think you’re lying to, Braun? CLEAN!? Keith doesn’t know about Styles or Sheamus, but if Strowman gets in the ring with him- Sheamus wants Keith to hold on now. Keith’s been here what? Five minutes? And Keith is acting like he’s calling the shots? The truth is, fella, there’s an order of things, and Sheamus is a senior member. Step behind him, and let the man who has made a career of slaying giants like Braun handle this. If anyone’s kicking Braun’s teeth down his throat, it’s him. Styles has an idea for everyone here! Pearce, check this. Braun needs a match, right? Then how about a TRIPLE THREAT match? Braun VS Keith VS Sheamus! If Braun wins, he joins the team!

Pearce likes that idea! Any objections? Sheamus loves a good fight so he’s in! Braun isn’t getting paid to talk, he’s in. And Keith doesn’t say anything, so it’s official! That match is happening after the break!

 

Survivor Series Team Raw Qualifier Triple Threat: Braun Strowman VS Keith Lee VS Sheamus!

Raw returns and Styles has joined commentary to watch this. The bell rings, Sheamus and Keith shove each other to step to Strowman, but Keith won’t let the Fella get ahead. They brawl, Braun watches as Keith headbutts Sheamus! Then Braun clotheslines Sheamus out! Braun goes after Keith and whips. Braun SCOOPS Keith but Keith slips out to dodge and POUNCE Braun out of the ring! Sheamus is back, he clubs and knees Keith then throws forearms! Sheamus whips, Keith reverses and he runs Sheamus over! Keith seethes and drags Sheamus up. Keith whips Sheamus but Sheamus kicks back! Sheamus runs but Braun drags him out! Those two brawl, Keith FLIES?! Not the best, either, but it still wipes the other two out!

Styles is SHOCKED as Keith survives his own rough landing! Keith is walking it off as he stalks and stomps Braun. Sheamus clubs and clobbers Keith then brings him tot he apron. Keith blocks the bump, but Sheamus digs him in all the same! Sheamus uses a sleeper hold and fish hooks but Keith still hits back. They brawl around the way towards the desk, only for the STROWMAN EXPRESS to derail them! Braun clears off the desk and Jordan shields Styles. Braun watches his two opponents and brings Sheamus up first. Then Keith, but they both hit back! Sheamus and Keith work together to whip Braun into steel steps! The steps go flying! Braun is down, Keith and Sheamus still work together to bring part of the steps over, and RAM Braun across the desk!

Sheamus throws the steps aside, to then POST Keith! Sheamus puts Keith in the ring, stalks him to an apron, and brings him up for Beats of the Bodhrain! Sheamus gives Keith all 10, and lets Keith flop down. Sheamus drags Keith back up but Keith grabs the arm! Keith is furious as he drags Sheamus out and TOSSES him into barriers! Keith stalks Sheamus, CLUBS him down, then brings him around the way. Keith scoops Sheamus but Sheamus fights and gets the sleeper! Keith fades, Braun returns to RAM them both through the barriers!! Once again, the Monster and the Limitless One are wrecking the ThunderDome! All three men are down as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Sheamus has Keith down with an armlock and chinbar. Keith endures, fans clap and rally and Styles hopes they down break the arm. Sheamus digs his knee into Keith’s head but Keith still fights his way up. Keith gets to his feet, throws big body shots, but Sheamus cranks on the chinbar. Keith still throws hands, and then GRIZZLY MAGNUM CHOPS! Sheamus goes to a corner, Braun DERAILS Keith and runs Sheamus over! And then corner splashes! And TOSSES! Sheamus gets up to get another corner splash! And another TOSS! Braun keeps moving but he hits only buckles this time! Sheamus manages to give Braun WHITE NOISE! Cover, TWO!! Braun survives and Styles can’t believe it!

Sheamus catches his breath while he gets to his feet. Sheamus kicks Keith at the apron to keep him down, then climbs up top. Braun stirs, Sheamus aims, but Keith intercepts with a choke grip! Keith brings Sheamus around but Sheamus fights him down! Keith just grabs with the other hand, only for Sheamus to rake eyes! Sheamus punches Keith down but Braun ROCKS Sheamus with an uppercut! Braun climbs up, fights with Sheamus, but Keith joins in! TOWER OF DOOM!! The Electric Chair Superplex was supersized and yet the ring stays up! All three men are down and Styles tells Byron Saxton to shut up about needing new teammates. Braun gets up, but Keith blocks the low blow! And throws haymakers all around! Keith kicks low, runs and CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO!!

Styles is loving this now as Keith slowly gets up. Keith drags Braun up, reels him in and scoops, but Braun slips off! Sheamus dumps Braun out then hotshots Keith away! Sheamus slingshots for a BATTERING RAM! Keith stays on one knee but Sheamus runs, into a BELLY2BELLY!? Keith is impressing Styles, but Sheamus headbutts and KNEES Keith back! Cover, TWO!! “Sheamus is no slacker, by the way.” Styles wants people to understand Sheamus is great and is great for Team Raw. Keith gets up but Sheamus calls for the finish! But Braun drags Sheamus out with force! And then runs into Keith’s BOOTS! Keith roars and LARIATS Braun!! Cover, TWO!! Keith drags Braun up, Sheamus BROGUES Keith! But Braun scoops Sheamus for the MONSTER SLAM!! Cover, Braun wins!!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by pinfall (joins Team Raw)

Styles is excited! Even though this took a lot out of all three men, they’re three BIG men, and Styles is confident they’ll all be able to destroy SmackDown! Styles gets in the ring to celebrate and says this is going to be a great team. But he wants them to shake hands as a team, and none of them are for that. Braun doesn’t like Keith, Keith doesn’t Braun, but they’ll put their differences aside for Survivor Series. They shake hands! Styles says this is all thanks to him, the captain! Sheamus, c’mon now. You’re teammates, too. Sheamus is upset that Braun sniped the win from him. That’s what you have to do for the team! Anything to win! Styles wants them to shake hands, Braun says to shake his hand like a man.

Sheamus slaps the hand away, to HUG him! That’s even better for Styles! But then Sheamus BROGUES Braun!? And Keith POUNCES Sheamus! So Styles dropkicks Keith! “Why can’t you just get alone?! Why?! We’re the perfect team!! What’s wrong with you!?” Captain Styles might already be on a sinking ship. Is there any way to salvage this before Survivor Series?

 

Angel Garza speaks.

“To that special someone out there in the WWE Universe, we might seem far apart. But I promise, what you feel every time you see me is real.” Your heart beating, your cheeks flushing, your butterflies in your stomach? Do not be embarrassed, because Garza feels the same way every time he thinks of you. While they cannot share each other’s company, they can share the same feelings. He knows you’re out there, with those brilliant eyes and an irresistible smile. His rose is for you.

 

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre.

Charly Caruso addresses McIntyre telling Miz he’s the one to win the title. But there are others that could get in his way. Well what was it she asked Orton earlier? Is he worried about all the superstars gunning for him and the title? McIntyre says his shot is going to be just fine. Orton has a “6′ 5″, dangerous, attractive guardian angle,” in McIntyre. The actions were pretty clear: the only one taking the title from Orton will be McIntyre. McIntyre will force Orton’s hand with a smile on his face week after week. The Fiend can just back off. If McIntyre gets his way, Survivor Series will be Roman Reigns VS McIntyre! What a match!

But before that, what about The Miz and Morrison tonight? Oh right, forgot about them. How fun is it to beat those two up? It makes McIntyre happy and makes the fans happy. That’s what McIntyre is about. Tonight’s menu is a 2 for 1 special, Claymores for all! Will Miz and Morrison take that deal whether they like it or not?

 

Raw presents a new Firefly Fun House!

Bray Wyatt and Alexa Bliss are together already and welcome us back! Tonight’s very special because it is dedicated to the three most important letters in sports entertainment today! P I G? Hehehe, no silly Huskis! It’s R, K, O! YAY~! After what he did, Abby the Witch says Orton can go bleep himself. Whoa, Abby! There’s no foul language allowed here. That’s 10 cents in the swear, miss! Um, excuse me? Alexa, go bleep yourself, too. Gasp! Yowie wowie, Abby! That’s 25 cents now. But she does have a point. Once upon a time, Orton was a very, very bad boy. But the past is the past! And with those ashes, Bray was able to create a new world where the fun never… But wait, the memories of Orton burning down Sister Abigail’s home… “Unfortunately, it can’t be that simple. He never forgets.”

Alexa says that before they go, she wants to show us all a nifty little trick. She asks Bray for his help. He uses the heal glove and… Alexa’s eyes change again! And she spits out… blood? “Oh sh**!” Well, while the censors figure this one out, will Alexa become even more twisted as the plot thickens?

 

Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce have a message?

“Welcome back to Monday Night Raw!” They knew Lana would be a problem for Team Raw, but there’s no way Lana’s making it out of her match with Nia in one piece. There’s no way the announce desk will make it out of there in one piece! They high-five, suddenly more buddy buddy than before. Will they be right about that one?

 

Lana VS Nia Jax w/ Shayna Baszler!

The dysfunction of Team Raw grows stronger as the Ravishing Russian will face the consequences of her actions. And Shayna is already clearing off the announce desk! Is it going to be not so lucky number seven tonight?

The bell rings, Nia grabs Lana and RAMS her into the corner! And then runs, but Lana gets out! Lana kicks and throws hands but Nia throws her! Nia says Lana is a “pathetic piece of crap” and she pushes her around. Lana tries to hit back but Nia just throws her again! Nia talks more trash and tells Lana to just give up. Then she hits a corner splash! Nia slaps Lana around and pie faces her. Lana throws hands but Nia whips her away. Nia runs in but Lana dodges and Nia only gets buckles! Nia pushes Lana again, brings her up but Lana throws forearms! Nia shoves, Lana kicks and ROUNDHOUSES! She gets Nia with that one then ROUNBDHOUSES again! But Nia is still up and she CLOBBERS Lana!

Nia covers, but lets off on purpose! Nia drags Lana around to toy with her, and tells her to give up. Lana keeps hitting back so Nia headbutts her down! Shayna tells Lana to quit or she’s going to get beat up more. Nia thrashes Lana around by her hair then headbutts her again! “This is what you wanted!” Cover, but Nia lets up again! “This is what you wanted!” Nia drags Lana up, scoops and SLAMS her down! Lana flounders but Nia kicks her around. Lana refuses to quit, gets to a corner, and Nia “respects” that. But she’s done now! SAMOAN DROP! Cover, Nia wins!

Winner: Nia Jax, by pinfall

Lana paid for what she tried to do, but this was also a message to both Team SmackDown, and to Team Raw. As is Shayna and Nia dragging Lana out of the ring! They bring her to the table, Lana keeps trying to fight, but Nia throws her into barriers! “You’re pathetic, Lana! You don’t deserve to be in the ring with us!” Nia scoops Lana for NUMBER SEVEN! Another Samoan Drop through the announce desk!! Has Nia finally broken Lana’s spirit?

 

R-Truth is hurting backstage.

He doesn’t have his water bottle, his baby, and his neck hurts. But the Hurt Business finds him. Oh he went the wrong way. MVP signed the bottle, though. The Hurt Business laughs at Truth’s pain, and have a visit to the VIP Lounge planned, for after the break.

 

Raw presents the VIP Lounge!

The Hurt Business heads to the ring, and MVP gives us another “official announcement.” It is fitting that they’re here in the VIP Lounge, because you must be the best of the best to enter. And that is what Survivor Series is about: beating the best. Speaking of, we already saw the CEO, the United States Champion, Bobby Lashley, “absolutely decimate” R-Truth. Cedric Alexander says if Sami is still champion by Survivor Series, he’ll find first hand that Lashley IS the best of the best. In fact, Lashley has a message for Sami after Sami ran his mouth. Sami thinks he’s better because he represents many over one. But that’s funny, because Sami always has so much to say but Lashley only has one: No more games, no more talking, no more playing. Lashley VS Sami, Lashley puts Sami to sleep.

So that brings us to tonight! The Hurt Business have lived up to the business arrangement they made with the WWE. They took care of Retribution, now it is time for payment. And they’ve decided they will collect payment in the form of the Raw Tag Team Championships. Shelton Benjamin promises he and Alexander will bring the hurt to the New Day, and show why THEY are the best of the best. Lashley says New Day had their time. But speaking of, here comes the New Day! Xavier Woods says to “Bob” that if he wants to talk time, it’s been his time for quite awhile and to be honest, big fans. They’re big fans of their current US Champion. So much so, that Woods got in trouble staying up to watch Lashley’s matches.

Wait, why? How? Because at the time, the next day was the big test to jump from sixth grade to seven, and Woods should’ve studied instead. Oh right, because it was so long ago and Woods would’ve been a kid! Lashley looks great for that much time. He has looked great for a long time! Same for MVP! One of the best on the mic! And Benjamin, one of the greatest pure athletes ever! Those three have been doing it well and for a long time. And then Cedric! Um… Well, he’ll be here for awhile with a great career. But you know who has been doing this well for a long time? Who who who? Ya bois the NEW~ DAY~! Look at them! They stand before the world as the most decorated W, W, E, World, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONS~ of all time!

And not to brag or anything, but Kofi Kingston has won more titles total than all four of them! Tag titles! Plural. US titles! Plural. Intercontinental titles! Plural. And of course, the one title that even the ALL MIGHTY LASHLEY couldn’t get, the W, W, E, World, Heavy, Weight, CHAMPIONSHIP~! SINGULAR. Yes, that historic championship win was great. But how did that work out? Didn’t he lose to Lesnar in eight seconds flat? And MVP is willing to bet that Lashley could’ve done it even faster. Wow, when they called themselves the Hurt Business, Kofi just thought it was physical. Didn’t know they could do it emotionally. But it’s funny MVP wants to use that number, eight seconds. Because… According to Lana… That’s about all the time that Lashley can last. OOOH~! GOTTEE!

See, this is the problem with the New Day. They’re about jokes. But MVP and his associates are about business. That’s why they dress like businessmen, and the New Day dress like clowns. There are fundamental differences here. The New Day want to put smiles on faces, while the Hurt Business want to put pained grimaces. The New Day talk about footwork and dancing, but the Hurt Business are stomping teeth out with combat. So MVP assures the New Day that they do NOT want to “dance” with the Hurt Business. No, MVP stands corrected. He knows for a fact that Alexander and Benjamin will two-step on your faces while they TAKE your titles. Whoa, what? Y’all think you can defeat the TEN TIME- Wait is it ten? The trade was confusing. Let’s say it’s 10! They beat the Dudley Boys!

MVP says the Hurt Business doesn’t think, they KNOW they can win. Well none of that matters, because the New Day know they are a global conglomerate of their own. They are able to be publicly traded! The only thing the Hurt Business parallels to is “yet another failing 2020 internet start-up.” OOF, a business that is going to start in 2020?! Rough. The only profits to worry about are the Street Profits, at Survivor Series! And do they know why? BECAAAAUSE~! NEW! DAY ROCKS! Kofi and Woods are ready to cross the velvet ropes and take on the Hurt Business, after the break!

 

The New Day VS Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander w/ The Hurt Business!

Raw returns, the teams sort out and it is Woods starting against Alexander. They tie up, Woods headlocks, but Alexander powers out. Woods ducks, dodges and tilt-o-whirls to headscissor! Alexander is in a daze, Woods brings him up to suplex and hold Alexander up! Kofi counts to 10 as Woods shouts out “Bob” for the slam! Cover, ONE! Woods keeps close, brings him up and tags Kofi in. The New Day double wrench, chop and kick to then run and double BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Alexander scrambles away, tag to Benjamin! Benjamin and Kofi circle and tie up. Kofi waistlocks, Benjamin elbows free then whips, to run Kofi over!

Benjamin drags Kofi up, puts him in a corner to whip corner to corner hard! Kofi hits the mat, Benjamin drags Kofi up, but Kofi throws hands! Kofi rocks Benjamin, runs, but Benjamin BOOTS him down! Cover, ONE! Benjamin grows annoyed and drags Kofi up. Tag to Alexander, the Hurt Business mug Kofi and Alexander clubs Kofi. Alexander whips Kofi into buckles, runs in and hits the flip, but Kofi lands on his feet! Kofi twerks on Alexander then gives HIM the flip! Alexander tries but cannot land on his feet and hits his face! Kofi drags Alexander up, wrenches, but Alexander hits back! Alexander drags Kofi up to bump him off buckles and throws haymakers! The ref counts, Alexander fires off before letting off, then he stomps Kofi down!

Alexander CHOPS Kofi against ropes, whips him but Kofi gets around to roll up! TWO and Kofi dropkicks Alexander down! Hot tags to Benjamin and Woods, Woods dodges Benjamin to dropkick Alexander! Woods keeps moving, redirects and LEG LARIATS Benjamin! Woods throws hands, whips Benjamin out of the ring then forearms! Alexander goes after Woods, Woods throws him into ropes! Woods runs to slide off Alexander and dropkick Benjamin! Woods puts Benjamin back in, climbs up top, but Benjamin uses Alexander to hit the ropes and trip Woods up! Woods is stuck, Benjamin KNEES Woods off! Benjamin and Alexander both go out to fetch Woods. Benjamin whips Woods hard into barriers!

Benjamin goes back to the ring, the ring count is already at 7! Woods gets up but Benjamin goes out to fetch him again. Benjamin puts Woods in, covers, TWO! Woods is still in this but Benjamin tags Alexander. The Hurt Business throw hands on Woods, Woods hits back! Woods CHOPS Alexander, CHOPS again, but Alexander clinches. Alexander whips Woods from Kofi but Woods slide sunder, only for Alexander to SUPERKICK Woods down! MVP is proud of Alexander as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Benjamin grinds Woods down with a chinlock. Woods fights up and jawbreakers free! But Benjamin goes after him again, only for Woods to enziguri! Woods and Benjamin crawl, hot tags to Kofi and Alexander! Kofi springboards to ax handle and rally, dropkick and a leaping ax handle! Kofi stomps Benjamin off the apron then goes after Alexander. NEW~ DAY~ BALLIN Boom Drop! MVP appreciates that homage but Kofi is clapping. Kofi spins, Alexander ducks to mule kick! Alexander whips, Kofi boots back, then Kofi runs but Alexander whips him back! Kofi goes up and up and huricanranas! Kofi DOUBLE STOMPS Alexander down! Cover, TWO!! Alexander survives but Kofi keeps his cool.

Kofi brings Alexander up, but no SOS as Alexander SCOOP MICHINOKU! Cover, TWO!! Alexander pushes Kofi to the corner, tags Benjamin and Benjamin drags Kofi up. They coordinate, but Kofi fights out and avoid the Neuralizer! Kofi throws Alexander out, Benjamin O’Conner rolls but Woods tags in! Kofi pushes Benjamin into Woods’ enziguri! Woods steps in, “GET OVER HERE” TORNADO DDT! Cover, TWO! Woods stomps away on Benjamin but Benjamin blocks and reels Woods in for a SPINE BUSTER! Cover, TWO! Benjamin grows frustrated, drags Woods to the top rope, and throws haymakers. Woods kicks back and leaps, FLYING DDT!! Cover, but Alexander breaks it!

Kofi gets in to dropkick Alexander out! Kofi builds speed but Benjamin FLAPJACKS him first! Kofi goes down and out, Woods rolls Benjamin! TWO, Benjamin ducks a kick to roll Woods, TWO! Woods mule kicks hard, but runs into another flapjack! Alexander tags in, handsprings, NEURALIZER! PAYDIRT!! Cover, the Hurt Business wins!!

Winners: Shelton Benjamin & Cedric Alexander, by pinfall

MVP celebrates with his guys for getting a pin off the Raw Tag Team Champions! Will they collect on their payment before the New Day face the Profits?

 

Nikki Cross finds Alexa Bliss.

Nikki’s been calling and yet nothing. Can Alexa tell Nikki what’s going on? Or is it the Fiend? We’ve all seen them together. He’s why Alexa is shutting Nikki out, right? Nikki knows Alexa better than anyone, but the one that’s been her friend for over a year wouldn’t let someone think for her! She’s stronger than him! Nikki knows this. So please, just look at Nikki! Nikki turns Alexa around, but those eyes! Those eyes are so scary! Is the Alexa Bliss that Nikki knew gone forever?

 

Ricochet VS Tucker!

The One and Only is back, truly striking out on his own against another man shockingly solo after the 2020 WW Draft. Will Tucker Knight shed his past of Heavy Machinery to forge a new persona?

Wait, wait, wait. Mustafa Ali walks out to the ring! Is he looking at Ricochet? They used to be friends, too, but Ali is going around the ring towards commentary. The bell rings so Ricochet focuses on Tucker. They circle, Ricochet dodges Tucker to throw hands! Tucker shoves but Ricochet boots! Ricochet forearms but Tucker runs him over! Ali stands on commentary as Tucker traps Ricochet’s arms to TOSS him! Ricochet is right up to SUPERKICK back! And ROUNDHOUSE! Ricochet runs to RECOIL! Cover, Ricochet wins!

Winner: Ricochet, by pinfall

Well Tucker’s down, but here comes Retribution! Slapjack, Mace, T-Bar and Reckoning surround the ring! T-Bar THROWS Ricochet out with one hand! Tucker scrambles but gets mugged by all of them! They whip and DOUBLE BOOT Tucker down! Slapjack drags Ricochet back into the ring for Ali and they circle him. Ricochet throws hands and SUPERKICKS, but he’s outnumbered! They mug him in the corner, then put him before Ali. Ricochet asks why, but Ali says, “No sin is forgiven until it is punished.” T-Bar and Mace give Ricochet the DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM!! Ali stands over Ricochet, raises his hand, and the lights go out. What “sin” is Ali talking about in regards to his former friend?

 

Drew McIntyre finds Sheamus backstage.

Well how is he doing? It’s great for them to meet again after all this time. Sheamus admits he’s having a blast. McIntyre notes he’s having his match with Miz and Morrison, but they can wait. Sheamus has a favor to ask with the Survivor Series team thing. It’s getting wild. But what if McIntyre join as the fifth man and take them all the way? Think about that? Them teaming up again after all this time! The Celtic Connection! What does he think? Nothing would make him happier than to fight side by side with Sheamus. But not right now. He’s focused on Orton and the title. McIntyre will only be happy going to Survivor Series as world champion. Hopefully Sheamus understands. Yeah, he does. But if McIntyre changes his mind, let him know. Oh and make sure to kick Miz back to Hollywood and shove the contract down Morrison’s gob. The two bump forearms and the Scottish Psychopath heads out!

 

2v1 Handicap: The Miz & John Morrison VS Drew McIntyre!

The Hollywood A-Lister and Guru of Greatness want to clear the way to that guaranteed title shot on Randy Orton! But that means taking on the man who wants Orton all to himself! Will McIntyre be able to be better than the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century? *stare off into the distance*

Raw returns as McIntyre makes his entrance. Morrison starts for his team and kicks at McIntyre. McIntyre resists the takedown to put Morrison in a corner. Morrison avoids the chop, then Miz distracts! Morrison hotshots McIntyre then CLOBBERS him from behind! Wait, McIntyre stays up… And he JABS Morrison off his feet! McIntyre drags Morrison up, bumps him off buckles then CHOPS him! Morrison is stinging already but he throws body shots back. McIntyre shoves him away but Morrison kicks back! Miz tags in, McIntyre clobbers Morrison but Miz fires off! The ref counts, Miz lets off but McIntyre gabs him with both hands! McIntyre puts Miz in a corner and CHOPS him! And then ROCKS him with right after right!

McIntyre stomps Miz, brings him up and suplex TOSSES him across the ring! Morrison thinks about tagging in but McIntyre steps closer. Morrison backs away and McIntyre brings Miz up. Now Morrison tags in as McIntyre TOSSES Miz! But McIntyre hip TOSSES Morrison down! Miz chop blocks and Morrison SHINING WIZARDS! Cover, ONE?! Morrison is shocked, but he tags Miz in. They double GUT BUSTER McIntyre, and Miz seethes as he talks trash to McIntyre. Miz runs to boot, but McIntyre blocks it! McIntyre grimaces, then CHOPS Miz off his feet! Miz is stinging, McIntyre runs in but is thrown out! Morrison tags in and goes up top. Miz runs, McIntyre dodges the dropkick to CLOBBER him, then he blocks the Penalty Kick from the apron to trip Morrison up!

McIntyre drags Morrison off the apron in the inverted Alabama, to INVERTED ALABAMA SLAM Morrison onto the Miz! McIntyre smiles as he uses the Greatest Tag Team against each other and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns once more and McIntyre CHOPS Morrison off his feet! Morrison gets to a corner but McIntyre throws haymakers! McIntyre then THROWS Morrison! McIntyre taunts Morrison, brings him up and throws haymakers. Morrison wobbles but he manages a jawbreaker! Miz tags in, Miz throws hands but into McIntyre’s back suplex! Miz lands on his feet, shoves McIntyre but runs into an elbow! Morrison enziguris then Miz BOOTS! Morrison tags back in, they both go after McIntyre with kicks! And then they POST McIntyre! McIntyre tumbles down, Miz tags back in and both he and Morrison go after McIntyre, throwing him into barriers! McIntyre ends up upside-down and Miz stands on McIntyre’s head! “You want to cost me my title?!”

Miz puts McIntyre in, puts him in the corner and gives him It Kicks! Miz runs corner to corner to hit the A-List Lariat! Tag to Morrison as McIntyre tumbles down. Morrison goes up and SPRINGBOARD TORNILLO SPLASHES! Cover, ONE?!? Morrison is frustrated but he cravats McIntyre to grind him down. Morrison rams in a knee, kicks him at the ropes then clubs McIntyre to the corner. Morrison throws big body shots, but Miz chokes McIntyre while the ref pulls Morrison away! Morrison drags McIntyre out to then ground ‘n’ pound! Cover, ONE, but Morrison wraps on a chinlock! McIntyre endures, Miz starts up the “Hey Hey! Ho Ho!” but fans boo and give thumbs down. McIntyre snapmares free but runs into a boot!

Morrison goes up, STARSHIP P- NO! McIntyre shoves Morrison onto the post! Morrison’s starship is feeling pain, and McIntyre seethes as he climbs up behind him. McIntyre CLUBS Morrison, brings him up, and gives him Beats of the Bodhrain, just like Sheamus! McIntyre then brings Morrison up, only for Morrison to trip him up! Morrison returns the favor for groin pain, but it’s hard to adjust with only so much room. Morrison elbows McIntyre and McIntyre ends up in the Tree of Woe. Morrison stands, but McIntyre sits up! SPIDER GERMAN!! Miz is in shock and the fans are loving this! Morrison manages to make it to the corner and he tags Miz in! Miz goes after McIntyre but it’s McIntyre who rallies with clotheslines! McIntyre whips and OVERHEAD suplexes Miz! And then again!

McIntyre stalks Miz, and hits the leaping neckbreaker! Then he KIPS UP! McIntyre is fired up and he aims at Miz. McIntyre reels Miz in, underhooks the arms, but Miz slips out to full nelson! McIntyre snapmares free, to SPINE BUSTER! Jackknife cover, STANDING SHOOTING STAR from Morrison! All three men are down and the ThunderDome fans are fired up on their screens! Miz crawls but McIntyre grabs at legs. Miz pushes him away, Morrison tags in and SUPERKICKS! Morrison kicks low, MOONLIGHT DRIVE!! Cover, TWO!?! Morrison can’t believe it! Morrison drags McIntyre up, McIntyre shoves him but Miz tags in! McIntyre whips Morrison but runs into an elbow! Morrison goes to springboard but McIntyre shoves him out HARD!

Miz sneaks up, full nelson and FINALE!! Cover, TWO!?!? McIntyre survives again!! Miz is shocked but he shakes his head. McIntyre sits up and Miz gives him more It Kicks! Over and over, and over and over, but McIntyre ducks the buzzsaw! McIntyre shoves Miz into Morrison and knocks him down! FUTURE SHOCK!! But Miz gets to ropes for safety! McIntyre goes to a corner but Morrison drags Miz out! So McIntyre FLIES?! Down goes the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century! McIntyre puts Miz in, aims from the corner again, and CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre wins!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

The Miz and Morrison put up a hell of a fight but McIntyre still beat them both! McIntyre smirks as he- GETS AN RKO OUTTA NOWHERE!! Orton promised it but McIntyre still didn’t see it coming! But Bray Wyatt laughs from the shadows. Orton can’t relax, because while three predators are down, the most dangerous one is still lurking. Will Orton be able to make it to Survivor Series as champion? Or will he have no choice but to #LetHimIn?


My Thoughts:

A really good Raw here, actually. There were some things still a bit odd tonight, but not so bad as to drag down the episode. Garza has an interesting promo where it’s like he’s talking to someone he’s been “dating” online. That’s not a knock on those who meet people online, but it does seem a little weird for a guy who is the “Lethal Lothario” and should still be trying to charm someone he has met in person. Guess that thing with Nia was a one-off for the comedy. Maybe Garza’s “special someone” will be a call-up from NXT to introduce fresh talent. Shifting Retribution away from Hurt Business to go after Ricochet is actually not so bad, either. Ricochet needs something to do, Retribution needs wins, and it could be used to explore Ali’s mentality behind forming Retribution. But Tucker is already off to a rough solo start, I really thought Ali was going to recruit him. The trade that brings Otis to Raw or sends Tucker back to SmackDown should probably happen quickly so those two can have their grudge match.

The Hurt Business had a pretty good night tonight. Lashley VS Truth was decent, and it got better as Lashley brutalized Drew Gulak just to make a point to Sami Zayn. Gulak ends up 24/7 Champion either way, so I wonder what hilarity ensues between him, Lucha House Party and Truth with his bad neck. The Hurt Business and New Day have both a great promo segment for the VIP Lounge, which did make great reference to how Lashley, MVP and Benjamin have been around for quite some time and Alexander has yet to really establish himself on Raw. It was a great detail in the match for Benjamin to literally use Alexander as a way to mess up Woods’ top rope move. I wouldn’t want it to turn into a case where this keeps happening and Alexander feels like he isn’t respected, but there is half a chance that’s how they’re going to write this.

I’m a little disappointed Asuka wasn’t on the show at all to even just have a promo talking about the chances of facing Sasha compared to facing Bayley. But what we did get out of the Raw Women’s Division was pretty good. I’m surprised they gave us a Women’s Tag title match when originally it wasn’t that at all. It was obviously going to go Nia’s and Shayna’s way but I do like that Lana was trying to screw them over. It was rather rough for Lana to take on Nia but it did work to show she has some heart and determination. Still didn’t stop her from going through a table. I feel like the Women’s Survivor Series match goes like this: Lana will cause Nia to be eliminated, Nia puts her through a table, Lana is out of action until she’s the last Raw entrant and then she wins as a sole survivor. And then she gets put through another table.

Elias VS Hardy, Guitar on a Pole, fine whatever, it’s escalation as well as Hardy’s way of evening the score. Elias won by DQ but now Hardy won “clean.” They need to make this a battle of the bands before there is a tiebreaker match, because duh. The segment with the Raw Men’s Team was all great stuff, especially the Triple Threat. Braun was of course getting on the team, but the logic of Sheamus trying to take out Keith when Keith was going to take Braun down is a bit odd. I suppose Sheamus would want to be the winner of that match, but the goal should’ve been keeping Braun off the team. Of course, the team isn’t really meshing, on the same level as the women’s. I feel like that’s the real theme for Survivor Series this year: which teams can hold it together after the Draft shuffled things around?

There was a lot of great stuff in the world title story. The opening segment was a lot more fun than the average opening promo segment, and it kicked off the great character progression for Alexa. The gloves, the eyes, the “blood” spit, Alexa is slowly but surely becoming a female Fiend in her own right. And I think Abby’s bad attitude towards her is a sign Abby doesn’t want Alexa replacing her in the Firefly Fun House. I don’t think it’d work out but I feel like Sister Abigail will resurrect herself through Nikki Cross long enough to defeat Alexa and kick her out of the Fun House. Also, Alexa could’ve been made to look scarier for when Nikki confronted her. Let some of that red goop be on her lips and chin for some slightly more graphic texture than just contact lenses.

Then it is a great detail for McIntyre to be keeping Miz and that MITB briefcase away from Orton. McIntyre wants that title and is not going to be stopped. His handicap match with Miz and Morrison was a great handicap match, but I feel like he should’ve figured Orton was coming. Of course, Orton is the master of #OuttaNowhere, so I guess not even McIntyre is immune to that. But it also shows how powerful Bray is for his laugh to immediately humble Orton there. I’m really hoping we get a huge Triple Threat before Survivor Series to see who is facing Roman Reigns. And it being a Triple Threat would also give Miz openings to use his MITB contract to really complicate things. Should McIntyre not be the winner, I really would like to see him take Sheamus up on the Team Raw invitation and use his frustration as fuel to beat up on Team SmackDown, maybe even win it all.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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