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Mitchell’s WWE NXT UK Results & Report! (12/3/20)

Will the Hunt become the hunted?

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NEW NXT UK

NXT UK pits Gallus’ Iron King against Imperium’s Hatchet Man!

NXT UK made history last week, but this week is all about grudges! Will Joe Coffey shut up Alexander Wolfe and keep Gallus boys on top?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rampage Brown VS Saxon Huxley; Rampage wins.
  • Aoife Valkyrie VS Aleah James; Aoife wins.
  • Joe Coffey VS Alexander Wolfe; Coffey wins.
  • South Wales Subculture VS The Hunt w/ Eddie Dennis; The Hunt wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Rampage Brown VS Saxon Huxley!

The long and winding road has finally led this UK wrestling icon to NXT, and he’s already made his mark! But will he even make a dent in the demented mind of the Divine Beast of the Astral Plane?

The bell rings and Brown ties right up with Huxley! They go around, Huxley headlocks but Rampage fights out with body shots. They ram shoulders but neither falls, so they tie up again! Rampage headlocks but Huxley throws body shots to power out. Rampage ducks to come back and run Huxley over! But Huxley gets right up to run Rampage over! Rampage likes that, and they tie up again. They go around, Huxley knees low and hard then CLUBS Rampage on the back. Huxley whips, Rampage reverses to dropkick Huxley down! Rampage drags him back up and throws European Uppercuts on Huxley! Huxley kicks back, Rampage forearms and CLUBS Huxley!

Rampage whips again, and clobbers Huxley with a left lariat! Cover, TWO! Rampage keeps his cool as he drags Huxley back up. Huxley throws body shots but Rampage DECKS Huxley with a forearm! Rampage then dead lifts and suplexes Huxley up and over! Cover, TWO! Rampage stalks Huxley to the ropes and throws haymakers. Huxley gives them back but Rampage whips. Huxley reverses, Rampage kicks then clotheslines Huxley out of the ring! Huxley staggers around in a rage but Huxley dares him to come back. Huxley gets to the apron, drags Rampage out and the brawling continues!

The ref counts but the two brawl, and Huxley RAMS Rampage into the apron! And again! And then CLUBS away on his back! The ring count is 7, Huxley puts Rampage in at 8. Huxley climbs a corner, leaps and clotheslines Rampage down! Cover, TWO! Huxley grows frustrated and he stomps Rampage. Huxley drags Rampage up for big knees to the ribs! Huxley then whips Rampage to a corner, then out to whip him back in! Rampage resists the third to BOOT Huxley away! Rampage then runs, but into a short Urenage! Cover, TWO! He tries again, TWO! Again, TWO! Huxley glares and fires up as he goes around the ring.

Rampage rises, Huxley has blood in his mouth but he doesn’t seem to mind as he climbs. Rampage CHOPS and forearms first! Rampage climbs up to join Huxley, they brawl up top, and Huxley shoves Rampage away! Huxley adjusts, leaps, but into a POWERSLAM from Rampage! Rampage dead lift gut wrenches for the DOCTOR BOMB! Cover, Rampage wins!

Winner: Rampage Brown, by pinfall

Rampage got one hell of a fight from Huxley, but his rampage is far from over! Will Rampage run through more of the NXT UK roster as we approach a new year?

 

Joseph Conners is part of NXT UK Media Day.

How does he reflect on his time in the Heritage Cup tournament? Well he’s too bored and tired to do these stupid questions. But before he can say more, Piper Niven is spotted storming up to Jinny’s photoshoot and she goes right after the Spoiled Princess! Security and officials hurry to break this up before Piper pulls Jinny’s hair out! Jinny also has a high heel shoe as a weapon! Sid Scala appears to tell them both enough! Clearly, Piper the Viper wants to sink her teeth into the Fashionista, but will that have to happen in the ring?

 

Jack Starz and Levi Muir talk backstage.

“Yeah, Rampage is a big boy, huh? He whooped Saxon, as well.” Huxley walks by, seething about his luck. Levi wishes him better luck next time, and Huxley repeats those words over and over to himself. Starz and Muir head off, but will they be seeing Huxley again soon enough?

 

Aoife Valkyrie VS Aleah James!

The Irish enigma returns to action now that the championship chase begins again! Undefeated as she is, it is still a long journey to the top. Will she take the next step here tonight?

The bell rings and Aoife ties up with Aleah right away. Aoife headlocks, grinds on the hold, but Aleah powers out, only for Aoife to run her over. Aoife runs, Aleah leaps over and dropkicks, but Aoife manages to deflect just enough, and then Aleah ducks the heel kick! The two reset and tie up again. Aoife headlocks again, Aleah tries to power out but Aoife turns that into a whip, and then she kicks. Aleah gets under, huricanranas but Aoife handsprings through! Aleah gets the legs to trip her up but Aoife drags Aleah into a cover! TWO, Aoife comes back to jackknife, TWO! Aleah headlocks now and slows things down.

Aleah hits a big headlock takeover, but Aoife keeps her shoulder up. Aoife tries to headscissor but Aleah fights that off as she grinds on the hold. Aoife pushes with forearms but Aleah grinds tighter again. Aoife fights up, powers out but Aleah goes up and over in the corner! Aleah dares Aoife to bring it, then goes Matrix! But Aoife sweeps the arms and dropkicks Aleah in the back! Cover, TWO! Aoife keeps on Aleah with an armlock, then a motorcycle stretch, into a leg hook double chicken wing! Aleah endures this wing stretcher, even as Aoife leans onto the hold! Aoife slips around to get the arms for a ghost pin, TWO! Aleah escapes but Aoife mule kicks low!

Aoife whips Aleah to a corner, but Aleah slips out, counter punches then springboards, but Aoife gets under! Aleah comes back to dropkick Aoife down! Cover, TWO! Aleah grows frustrated but Aoife also fires up. Aleah blocks a kick for a FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Aoife fires off palm strikes! She windmills that arm over an dover, then kicks, kicks and HEEL KICKS! Aleah is in a daze as Aoife runs, BLOCKBUSTER! Aoife isn’t done, she goes up top for PERIPETEIA! Cover, Aoife wins!

Winner: Aoife Valkyrie, by pinfal

Was it a sudden change of fortunes? Not the way Aoife’s been going! Will we witness the Valkyrie rise up to challenge the Scary Queen of Scots, Kay Lee Ray?

 

NXT UK hears from Pretty Deadly.

It is their honor to interview, well, each other. Lewis Howley asks Sam Stoker how he is doing, and Stoker is great. How is Lewis? Very well, thank you. Who is Stoker’s favorite wrestler. Lewis Howley. Who is his favorite wrestler? Sam Stoker. But is it true that Pretty Deadly has a win over The Hunt? “Yes, boy!” And they also have a win over Ashton Smith & Oliver Carter? “Yes, boy!” And who can’t pin Pretty Deadly? They both say, “Gallus!” at the same time and then say “Jinx!” together. “Jinx again!” They also both say, “Pretty Deadly are not only the best looking but the best tag team in NXT UK, and Gallus’ days as champions are numbered!” Imagine a team this in tune! That is why they are ready to take the NXT UK Tag Team Champions, and finally make the division pretty deadly.

 

Joe Coffey VS Alexander Wolfe!

Speaking of Gallus, the boys were celebrating proud and loud after the Iron King conquered the Thunder Storm, Sam Gradwell. But the Dresden Hatchet Man didn’t like it, because for one, it was in the background of his interview. Will Wolfe show Joe how one should conduct themselves in NXT UK? Or will Coffey give Wolfe All the Best for the Bells?

The bell rings and Coffey circles with Wolfe, but Wolfe gets the takedown. Wolfe has a facelock, he throws Coffey around but Coffey resists the cover. Coffey goes for an arm, Wolfe gets the waistlock but Coffey throws him back down! Wolfe waistlocks again then floats to a headlock but Coffey make sit a hammerlock. Wolfe slips through to tackle Coffey back down. Wolfe has the arm, Coffey gets up and the two clinch. Wolfe uses that to throw Coffey down and then he goes for an arm and head triangle. Coffey throws elbows to fight that off, and then he facelocks. Wolfe slips out, but Coffey throws Wolfe away. Coffey fights off the fireman’s carry but not forever. Coffey gets up fast to ROCK Wolfe with heavy hands!

Coffey starts boxing Wolfe all around the ring and they go to a corner. Wolfe tries to turn things around but Coffey just keeps throwing hands! Rabbit punch to the shoulder blade, then he whips Wolfe for a backbreaker! Wolfe goes to a corner but Coffey throws more hands! The ref counts, Coffey lets off and talks some smack. Wolfe turns things around to put Coffey back on the ropes. The ref calls for the break, Wolfe haymakers around her head to hit Coffey! The ref reprimands Wolfe for that as Coffey gets to a corner. Wolfe goes after Coffey to stomp and EuroUpper over and over! The ref counts, Wolfe stops and Coffey says he’s fine to keep going.

Wolfe wraps Coffey’s arm around a rope and YANKS it, then whips just to wring Coffey out! Wolfe kicks Coffey, Coffey hits back but Wolfe throws in knees and uppercuts. Wolfe wrenches the arm to elbow it, but Coffey throws hands with the good arm! Coffey forearms but he swings into a takedown, and Wolfe SLAMS the bad arm down! Wolfe hooks Coffey’s nose while pulling the bad arm, then drops knees on the elbow! Coffey throws shoulders but Wolfe clubs him to a corner. Wolfe whips just to wring Coffey out again! Cover, TWO! And Wolfe has the arm for a double wristlock right away!

Coffey endures as Wolfe wrenches and cranks, and even tortures the hands! Wolfe pulls hard to get the arm isolated, and twists the wrist as he shifts angles. Coffey tries the headscissors but Wolfe shrugs those off. Coffey gets up to throw more forearms but Wolfe elbows Coffey back. Wolfe suplexes but Coffey resists. Wolfe tries but his back is hurting, so he just goes after the arm! Coffey ROCKS Wolfe to SNAP SUPLEX Wolfe! Wolfe ends up all the way in the corner, he and Coffey slowly rise. Coffey runs in but Wolfe elbows back! Wolfe puts the bad arm on the ropes, and climbs, but Coffey YANKS Wolfe down with the good arm!

Coffey gets up, runs and runs Wolfe over! Then he breaks through Wolfe’s clothesline to hit a flying shoulder! But the bad arm slows him down a bit. He still shoves Wolfe to get him with a rebound Belly2Belly! Wolfe goes to a corner but Coffey splashes in! Coffey goes up, SPRINGBOARD CROSSBODY! Wolfe flounders up and into a back suplex! Cover, TWO! But Coffey goes after the legs! Wolfe resists the turn so Coffey rains down fists! The ref warns about closed fists, but Coffey has a standing heel hook! Wolfe’s shoulders are down so it’s a cover, ONE as he gets up! Wolfe kicks Coffey but Coffey holds on! Wolfe keeps kicking and ROCKS Coffey! Coffey goes down and Wolfe is free!

The ref starts a standing count as both men are down. Wolfe sits up first but Coffey follows. The count is 5, but both men wobble up. Wolfe elbows and fireman’s carries but his back gives out! Coffey runs in but Wolfe KNEES the spear away! Wolfe hits ANARCHY SUPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Coffey survives but Wolfe is too sore to be frustrated. Wolfe drags Coffey up in a dead lift waistlock, but Coffey backs him into a corner! Coffey runs in, Wolfe evades but Coffey elbows him away! Coffey springboards again, into a EUROUPPER! Wolfe fireman’s carries, for a DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Coffey survives again and Wolfe can’t believe it!

Wolfe and Coffey both stir, but Wolfe sits up first. Coffey taunts Wolfe he needs to talk trash in English so he can be understood. Wolfe drags Coffey up but Coffey fights the waistlock! Coffey pries out, wrenches and CLUBS Wolfe with close-range clotheslines! Coffey kicks a leg out but Wolfe kicks the arm! Wolfe BOOTS Coffey, waistlocks again but Coffey elbows away to resist! Wolfe STILL gets the GERMAN! Bridging cover, TWO!! Both men are down, but Wolfe sits up first again. Wolfe drags Coffey up again, reels him in, but Coffey back drops out of the bomb! And then ALL THE BEST!! But Wolfe falls out of the ring!!

Coffey hurries out after Wolfe, drags him up and puts him in! Coffey hurries to cover, ROPEBREAK!! Wolfe saves himself and Coffey is beside himself. Coffey sees Wolfe go back to the apron and he drags him up. Coffey has Wolfe up but Wolfe drags Coffey over to join him! They brawl on the apron with kicks, and haymakers, and forearms! Coffey CLOBBERS Wolfe into the ring, but Wolfe enziguris Coffey down! Only the ropes keep Coffey up! Wolfe brings Coffey back up to throw a forearm, but pulls n the beard to keep Coffey up! Coffey forearms, Wolfe throws more forearms, but Coffey ROCKS Wolfe!

Coffey SLINGSHOT SHOULDERS in! GLASGOW SENDOFF!! ALL THE- No, Wolfe ducks, but Coffey blindside lariats! ALL THE BEST FOR THE BELLS!! Cover, Coffey wins!

Winner: Joe Coffey, by pinfall

The Iron King trumps Imperium’s wild card! And both Wolfgang and Mark Coffey are here to celebrate with him! Will they be raising a toast as Joe Coffey climbs back towards the top?

 

NXT UK hears from Jordan Devlin.

“People have asked me why I went to Sid Scala and told him to find me challengers for this, the one real Cruiserweight Championship. Why am I actively seeking out challengers? It’s simple, isn’t it? Any sap can have a ten year title reign if they never defend it. One of the greatest pro-wrestlers of all time said, ‘If you want to be the man, you’ve got to beat the man.'” And as long as Devlin has this title, as long as he’s never lost with the title on the line, then you’re looking at the man in the Cruiserweight Division! So next week, Devlin issues an open challenge. Any time you see him in the ring, his title will be in the ring, against any man under 205! Come to the Jordan Devlin Show and test yourselves against the Irish Ace!

 

South Wales Subculture VS The Hunt w/ Eddie Dennis!

Mark Andrews and Flash Morgan Webster had no idea that their friends, Wild Boar and Primate, were following the orders of the Welsh Dragon. The betrayal completely blindsided them as much as those backstage attacks, but now this will be face to face! Will Dennis’ dangerous duo finally feast upon the Rockstar and the Modfather?

SWSC doesn’t even care about the bell, they tackle the Hunt and brawl with then! FMW has Boar, Primate knees Andrews but SWSC throw them both out, then DOUBLE DIVE! And the brawling continues on the ramp! Andrews clubs Primate, FMW knees and clubs Boar down! The ref shouts to restore order and Boar is put in. Primate rushes FMW but is sent hard into barriers! The bell rings and Andrews fires off CHOPS on Boar! Tag to FMW, SWSC double enziguri Boar! Then FMW goes side to side to dropkick Boar out! Tag to Andrews before FMW PLANCHAS Boar! FMW puts Boar in and Andrews hits a standing moonsault! Cover, TWO!

Andrews keeps on Boar with EuroUppers and CHOPS! Boar pushes Andrews, Primate swipes and Dennis distracts, Boar hits a BIG back suplex! Boar tags Primate and the Hunt mugs Andrews with hammering fists! Primate roars and Dennis shouts, “Make him pay!” Primate dribbles Andrews off the mat, then drags him to tag in Boar. Boar stalks Andrews, drops elbows on him, and then CLUBS Andrews down! Boar drags Andrews up to elbow him back down, and he keeps glaring at FMW. Andrews hits back but Boar DECKS him! Boar pulls Andrews up by his hair to dibble him, but Andrews handsprings through to fire off CHOPS!

Andrews DECKS Primate but Boar URENAGES Andrews! Cover, TWO! Boar clamps onto Andrews, drags him around and stands on the arm. Tag to Primate, and Boar is a human weapon, back suplex back senton! Cover, TWO! Primate clobbers Andrews again, drags him up to elbow him down! Primate tags Boar and Boar stays between Andrews and FMW. Boar uses a shoulder just to ram Andrews down! And again! Dennis tells Boar to go after the leg! Boar does with headbutts and elbow drops! Andrews scrambles, and manages to monkey flip Boar! Both men get up, Boar keeps Andrews from FMW but Andrews CHOPS and enziguris!

Primate tags in, grabs a leg, but Andrews victory rolls to STOMP 182! Hot tag to the Modfather! FMW goes up the ropes for the Rude Boy Block! A dropkick for Boar! FMW counter CHOPS and CHOPS and CHOPS Primate over and over! A machine gun chop! FMW whips Primate corner to corner hard, but Primate kicks back! Primate whips but FMW reverses to send Primate out! Triangle dropkick! FMW fires up, goes out and aims to FLYING RANA Boar! And then he CANNONBALLS onto Primate! The ring count begins but FMW puts Primate in at 4. Boar gets in, FMW spins him for a double underhook, Tiger Driver ’98 onto Primate! And then FMW kicks Boar out to tag in Andrews.

SWSC combine for Toast at 3AM! STANDING SHOOTING STAR! Cover, TWO!! Primate survives but SWSC keeps going. Tag back to FMW, Andrews drags Primate up, but Boar anchors FMW! Primate denies Andrews the poison-rana to GERMAN SUPLEX him away! FMW finally gets free of Boar but he runs into an EXPLODER! Tag to Boar, and Boar runs at FMW for a POP-UP BOMB! Then the CANNON-BOAR! Cover, TWO!! FMW survives and Boar is furious! Dennis orders Boar to bring FMW up and Boar does, in the package- No, FMW slips out of the driver, fakes Boar out and HEADBUTTS! Hot tags to Primate and Andrews!

Andrews dodges Primate, leaps over him and STOMPS him down! Boar runs in but Andrews fires off chops on Boar! Andrews whips but Boar reverses, to tilt-o-whirl, only for Andrews to get BOTH Boar and Primate in DDT’s! Tag to FMW, SWSC FLY!! Direct hit at the ramps again! They put Primate in, Andrews tags back in, and Andrews monkey flips Primate into the KNEE TRIGGER! Cover, Boar breaks it!! Both teams are down and Dennis is stressed out. FMW and Boar go after each other and FMW throws Boar to the apron. Boar shoulders back in then shovels FMW up and out! Andrews runs into Primate’s LARIAT!

Tag to Hunt, Primate runs to clothesline, Boar RAMS in, then Andrews gets the suplex to POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO!!! Andrews will not die and Dennis hates that! “Snare Trap!” Dennis calls for the finish, Primate tags back in and they bring Andrews up. But FMW is climbing! He LEAPS over Primate to crossbody Boar! Andrews slips off the fireman’s carry, swings into a half nelson, but hits STUN-DOG MILLIONAIRE!! Andrews climbs to the top, kicks Boar away, but the ref is busy with Boar and Denis YANKS Andrews down!! The ref totally missed that! FMW is furious and chases Dennis off but then Boar CLOBBERS him! Dennis laughs as Primate SPEARS Andrews!

Tag to Boar, Primate fireman’s carries Andrews, SNARE TRAP! The Death Valley Powerbomb combo! Cover, The Hunt wins!!

Winners: The Hunt, by pinfall

Dennis shouts “What did I say?!” as his team takes down former friends! Primate and Boar have taken down former champions at the same time, will this make The Hunt the first ones in the NXT UK Tag Team Championship hunt?


My Thoughts:

A really good episode, and they were hyping up the tag team match in the main event quite a lot, but it was definitely fitting. SWSC and The Hunt were going all out, Dennis was amazing as the Heel manager/coach, and of course he gets involved to screw SWSC over. It was very fitting that it was Andrews specifically Dennis got to shove down, as it was always meant to be Dennis and Andrews feuding given the story Dennis came in with. Things had to change because of injuries on both ends, but it’s still great to get this here and now. The Hunt getting the win makes sense, as Gallus is now a Face tag team and they have titles.

Pretty Deadly also has a pretty good promo, though I was hoping there was going to be a Dude, Where’s My Car style back and forth (“Who’s your favorite wrestler? Lewis Howley, who’s yours? Sam Stoker, who’s yours?” etc). I would really like then for Pretty Deadly to try and get back at Dennis by facing The Hunt as they go for being contenders, and then they end up having a common enemy and they can team with SWSC in some way. Rampage Brown has a good match and it seems Huxley has a story building in its own way, as he’s trying not to be lumped in with jobbers like Jack Starz and Levi Muir.

Aoife and Aleah had a good match but of course Aoife wins as she is building her slow burn towards the title. Piper and Jinny being the real focus of the Joseph Conners interview was a great move. I like how NXT UK does that with these, setting one thing up to actually build another. Piper VS Jinny is going to be a great grudge match but I would think Jinny, dirty or otherwise, wins and goes Heel to Heel with KLR. Coffey VS Wolfe was a great match, practically like a contender’s match. It isn’t clear who Walter is facing next, but maybe they’re giving Coffey another build just because it’s clear he can go against just about anyone. Rampage is going to still need time to build momentum, and they’re giving Dragunov time off, as he needs after his amazing match with Walter.

I think the biggest thing was Jordan Devlin saying he’s going to make his title a fighting title. Devlin having an open challenge match every time he’s scheduled is going to be great for him, his Cruiserweight title, the roster and the show. It is a win-win because Devlin can also throw his list of wins in Escobar’s face when those two finally, finally face off to crown the one true NXT Cruiserweight Champion. You get enough momentum on both men’s names, and fans are going to love that #WinnerTakesAll title match at a Worlds Collide or crossover TakeOver event.

My Score: 8.6/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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