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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (12/21/20)

Is The Fiend nothing but ash?



WWE Raw Coverage 3.0

What is in store for Raw with what’s left in 2020?

After TLC, Drew McIntyre is STILL WWE World Champion, we have NEW Raw and Women’s Tag Team Champions, but what about The Fiend?! Has the Viper vanquished him once and for all?


  • Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler VS Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke; Nia & Shayna win.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship Very Important Photobombing: R-Truth retains the title.
  • Angel Garza VS Drew Gulak; Garza wins.
  • Ricochet VS T-Bar w/ Retribution; T-Bar wins.
  • The Hurt Business VS Jeff Hardy & Matt Riddle; The Hurt Business wins.
  • Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias VS Gran Metalik w/ Lince Dorado; Ryker wins.
  • Charlotte Flair & Asuka VS Peyton Royce & Lacey Evans; Charlotte & Asuka win.
  • Six Man Tag Street Fight: Drew McIntyre, Sheamus & Keith Lee VS The Miz, John Morrison & AJ Styles w/ Jordon Omogbehin; McIntyre, Sheamus & Lee win.


Charlotte Flair returns to Raw!

The Queen and the Empress reign together as the NEW WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions! It was quite the return for Charlotte, having been out six months recovering from injuries. Charlotte has a mic to say, “Well, would you look at this? I am in the ThunderDome. And what would the ThunderDome be without the Queen?” Charlotte’s first night, she walks out champion, because that is who she is to the core. Nothing has changed. When a friend asked for help, and there’s something in it for Charlotte, she gladly obliged. “The heartbeat of this division,” Charlotte’s friend and tag partner is ASUKA!

The other half of the new tag team champions makes her entrance as #AsukaTwoBelts! Asuka and Charlotte hug and Asuka is excited to be a double champion! “The Empress of Tomorrow is the DOUBLE~ CHAMPION~ of Today!” She is both Raw Women’s and Women’s Tag Team Champion! It’s a great feeling to be partners with a friend! Nia and Shayna were NOT ready for Asuka, nor were they ready for Charlotte! WOO~! Charlotte wants Asuka to wait a moment. What about the Raw Women’s Championship? But before the discussion can be had, Shayna and Nia storm out!

The former tag team champions join Charlotte and Asuka in the ring, grab some mics, and get in on the conversation. “Charlotte, Charlotte, Charlotte. It’s so good to see you.” Guess it took all six months to heal that arm, but it didn’t fix that robotic voice. So does this soft voice work for you instead, Nia? “I kicked your ass last night~!” Shayna says that’s not robotic, at least. But before they get too comfortable with the tag titles, Nia has a holiday story for them. Santa isn’t the only one with a Naughty or Nice list. Nia and Shayna have a list, too. The only thing is, the naughty don’t get coal. They get “seasons beatings.” Just ask Lana, Kairi Sane, and-

“Mandy~…!” Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke are here! But the Sexy Muscle Friends aren’t in a good mood. Something looks different about each other, but they’re not sure what it is. Oh, Nia and Shayna look different! Shayna looks like Rudolph with a nose job, and Nia just needs the antlers. Oh wait, what’s different is… They’re not tag team champions anymore! So then, move over, these two are coming through! Charlotte likes this attitude. And while this match was already going to happen, the champs say it should happen NOW! A ref arrives, Asuka and Charlotte join commentary, and it is happening! Will the former champions lose twice in 24 hours?

Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler VS Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke!

Raw returns and this match begins with Shayna and Mandy. They tie up, Shayna facelocks and brings Mandy down but Mandy rolls to get free and get an arm. Shayna pushes Mandy over, gets the arm in return, and floats around to push Mandy around. Shayna toys with Mandy, but lets her up to tie up again. Mandy waistlocks, slams Shayna down, then brings her up to slam her again! Shayna gets up, pries free to switch, but Mandy uses a leg to trip Shayna up. Shayna kicks Mandy, Mandy cartwheels to evade then she kicks Shayna down! Cover, ONE!

Mandy puts Shayna in a corner, rams her shoulder in, then tags in Dana. The Sexy Muscle Friends double suplex Shayna hard! Shayna scrambles, tags in Nia and Nia stares Dana down. Dana dodges Nia, throws forearms but Nia headbutts her down! Dana flounders to a corner, dodges Nia but not enough as she gets clipped! Nia drags Dana up, headbutts Dana again, and Asuka is growing worried. Nia digs her boot into Dana, but lets off as the ref counts. Dana gets up but Nia chokes her, then TOSSES her! Nia runs in to corner splash! Dana flops down, Nia talks smack to Mandy, then Nia whips Dana corner to corner, but Dana dodges clean this time!

Dana come back with a handspring back elbow! Dana keeps moving, but Nia blocks the handspring, only to get an around the world headscissors! Tag to Mandy, they chop block and KENE FROM A ROSE Nia out! Shayna hurries over but Dana wrecks her with a dropkick! The Sexy Muscle Friends stand tall, then LEAP onto the former champs with double crossbodies! Asuka is fired up for Dana and Mandy, and Charlotte is fired up that Asuka is fired up. Charlotte sees Dana and Mandy flexing on Nia and Shayna, and they put Nia in. Mandy follows but Nia knocks her down! Nia stalks back out, drags Mandy up, and throws her into barriers! Nia looms over Mandy as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Nia has Mandy in a bearhug. Mandy fights out, kicks and throws forearm after forearm! Mandy kicks again, runs but Nia blocks the knee to CLOBBER Mandy! Nia looms over Mandy, drags her up and tags Shayna in. They mug Mandy, Shayna clubs Mandy down, and Shayna steps on Mandy’s foot to keep her anchored. Shayna SMASHES the knee into the mat! Then she has a standing heel hook on Mandy, leaning on the leg deep. Mandy fights back but Shayna DDT’s the leg! Shayna drags Mandy away, tags Nia back in, and Nia stomps the leg! Nia puts Mandy on the ropes to choke her but lets off as the ref counts.

Nia puts Mandy’s leg on the rope and STOMPS it! Mandy crawls but Nia stays in her way. Nia pie faces Mandy, kicks her around, then drags her back up. Mandy breaks free to fire off body shots! Nia shoves Mandy to the corner but Mandy boots her away! Mandy ROCKS Nia, but Nia CLOBBERS Mandy again! Nia drags Mandy away, and drops the leg, only to miss! Mandy hurries, reaches, but Nia has a leg. Mandy kicks Nia away, Shayna tags in and she DECKS Dana! Mandy hits Shayna back, dodges her and LARIATS! Mandy rallies and Asuka fires up on commentary! Mandy gets a snap suplex! Shayna goes to a corner, but she dodges Mandy, only for Mandy to elbow back!

Mandy bumps Shayna off buckles, throws forearms, then snapmares Shayna to run. Dana tags in before the KNEE FROM A ROSE! Dana handspring SPLASHES! Cover, TWO! They almost had the Queen of Spades! Dana drags Shayna up, ducks a kick to give an enziguri! Dana hurries up top, leaps, SWANTON! Cover, but Nia shoves Mandy and drags Dana off the cover! Mandy comes back with a FLYING KNEE! Dana handsprings and elbows Nia into the post! The Sexy Muscle Friends regroup but Shayna KICKS Mandy down! Dana ghost pins Shayna, TWO! Shayna gets Mandy for the swinging BACKBREAKER!

Shayna drags Dana by her arm, wrenches it, locks it in, and- Dana dodges the stomp to roll Shayna into buckles! High stack, TWO!! KIRAFUDA KLUTCH!! Dana taps, Shayna and Nia win!

Winners: Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax, by submission

So close and yet so far from victory, Dana and Mandy couldn’t put away the former champions! Shayna eggs Charlotte on but Mandy dropkicks her down! Then the Sexy Muscle Friends both DUMP Nia out! Mandy and Dana lost the match but the race is still on! Will the wrestling royals have to watch their backs against even friends?


The Hurt Business arrive backstage.

And they immediately spot someone wearing a New Day shirt. It was an early Christmas present… Well, maybe he didn’t get the memo. Wardrobe change! They literally RIP the New Day shirt off this guy, and force him to wear a Hurt Business shirt. Now that looks good! Merry Christmas!


Raw returns with the VIP Lounge!

MVP, the WWE United States Champion, Bobby Lashley, and the NEW Raw Tag Team Champions head to the ring for this “Champions Edition” of their talk show. “If ever there was a time for a champagne celebration, it is tonight!” And what better place to celebrate than the most exclusive club in all of the WWE? So allow MVP to indulge himself as he says, “Once again the Hurt Business is in the ring, so that can only mean one thing. Big things poppin’, little things stoppin’. So relax and enjoy the view, because the VIP Lounge is for champions … people who are better than you.”

Shelton Benjamin starts by saying they showed the world why they are better than ANY tag team on Raw! Cedric Alexander continues to say ESPECIALLY the New Day! The titles now have the prestige they deserve because they are in the Hurt Business. The come-up is over, because this is PRIME Alexander! Forget about pancakes, unicorns and all that. The Hurt Business has champagne and custom made suits! Right, Mr. CEO? Lashley says they are the most dominant force in the WWE. Get used to this view. Alexander and Benjamin have proven themselves as dominant, and Lashley promises not a man on this earth can beat him for the US Championship.

So to commemorate the occasion, MVP has a photographer to capture these moments for posterity. They gather together, hold up the belts, and the pictures are taken. Looking good, right? Wait, R-Truth is photobombing them! But he is a champion so… Wait, here come the “contenders!” Erik, Titus O’Neil, Akira Tozawa, and the Lucha House Party, chase Truth around the ring then back up the ramp, through the Christmas trees and presents, and then backstage! Lince Dorado snatches a present! And before the Hurt Business can respond, Jeff Hardy and Matt Riddle are here! And they have mics!

MVP says they were NOT invited! Wait the 24/7 Championship chase is still going in the background. Riddle congratulates the bros on the big win. And he’s digging the celebration. But they’ve got a couple of things wrong. You don’t need to waste money at the clubs. They just need to chill with the homies, throw a disk around, get a little toasted, and listen to Joe Rogan or watch Dave Chapelle to escape “the day to day, existential grind that live is.” Y’know what Riddle means? Hold on he has more. There’s no reason to spread negative vibes, because in the end, we’re all the same: self-aware, carbon matter that is on a rock hurling through space. So just chill-

No, they’re NOT the same. Riddle doesn’t even know what he’s talking about but no one cares about his hair-brain concepts. Why are they here? Hardy translates: there are more important things in life than status and money. So Hardy and Riddle would rather die with pride than live with greed. But facing MVP and Lashley means having something more than money can buy: faith. Will the Hardy Bros get a big win at the expense of the Hurt Business?


Angel Garza VS Drew Gulak!

Raw returns as Sarah interviews the Lethal Lothario backstage. Garza knows he faces Gulak for the first time ever, but these are the holidays! What better way to celebrate than to give the women of the world the #GiftOfGarza? Speaking of gifts, a rose for Sarah. Yes, Garza is up against Gulak, but he will be thinking of Sarah. Maybe they can have an interview under the mistletoe? From one former Cruiserweight Champion to another, will Gulak give Garza the gift of a lesson in grappling?

The bell rings, Gulak rushes Garza and they tie up. Gulak puts Garza in a corner, the ref counts and Gulak backs off. Garza takes off the pants, and throws them at Gulak! Garza then sucker punches Gulak, puts on a facelock but Gulak hits back! Gulak scoops to a backbreaker! Gulak throws hands, Garza turns things around and CHOPS! Gulak boots, Garza blocks and has the legs in the ropes to ROCK Garza with a right! Then KNEES Gulak in the side! Cover, ONE!! Garza keeps on Gulak, drags him around and digs his forearms in. Garza drags Gulak up to get the arm and pulls back. Gulak elbows Garza’s leg, gets around and puts on a cobra twist!

Garza endures, chokes Gulak and shoves Gulak down! Garza brings Gulak back up, whips him to ropes and hip tosses him down! Cover, TWO! Garza is after Gulak again, but Gulak throws elbows and haymakers! Gulak throws body shots, whips corner to corner but Garza BOOTS back! Garza waistlocks, Gulak switches but Garza bucks him off to SUPERKICK! Then the underhooks, the lift, and WING CLIPPER! Cover, Garza wins!

Winner: Angel Garza, by pinfall

It seems Garza is both a lover and a fighter! Will Garza continue to fight until he gets what he really loves in a championship?


AJ Styles and Jordan “Omos” Omogbehin walk backstage.

Neither is in a good mood after how TLC went down. Charly Caruso asks their reaction to The Miz’s cash-in. “Hot. Livid! Past my boiling point!” Miz screwed Styles out of his championship win! So obviously, still emotional. But if that’s the case, why is Styles being on Miz TV. Styles wants to hear what Miz has to say for himself. And for his sake, it better be good! Will Styles and Omos look to cancel Miz TV after the break?


Raw returns with Miz TV!

The Guru of Greatness and Hollywood A-Lister are back with the Most Must-See WWE Talk Show, but clearly they’re not in the best mood. “In life, you’re not often presented with an opportunity to become WWE Champion. Last night, I had the chance to etch my name in the history books as a two-time WWE Champion.” But Miz failed. Not only did he fail himself, but he failed his family. He’s sorry. But that’s not the only apology to be issued tonight. They welcome their guest, AJ Styles! The Phenomenal One, and Omos, join Miz and Morrison in the ring, and Styles keeps Omos from going after Morrison.

Miz explains that he invited Styles to, well, explain his actions. Miz isn’t usually so impulsive, but Styles would’ve done the same in that position. Styles doesn’t want to hear it! Doesn’t Miz realize he is the biggest idiot on earth?! Miz is selfish, and incompetent! Miz cost Styles the WWE Championship, in a Ladder Match, by cashing in the MITB briefcase! You don’t think Miz knows that?! The contract was everything! Ten YEARS ago, Miz cashed in a MITB contract, won the title and main-evented Mania! He wanted the same to happen this year! For 15 YEARS, Miz has dedicated himself to being the poster child of the WWE! And nobody respects him! Nobody cares!

But if Miz cashed in at the right time, and became champion, just maybe someone would respect him! Styles, the fans, everyone! And then he’d take Raw to new heights! But Miz can’t do anything about that now. He can only make it right. So from the bottom of Miz’s heart, soul and with every ounce of dignity he has, he apologizes. But they were both robbed last night. So, it’s the holidays, right? A time for giving and forgiving. So Miz will give Styles an early gift. Miz presents Styles with an opportunity to be part of The Marine 7. Wait, why is he so small on that poster?! Where is Morrison!?

Omos speaks up! Don’t defend Morrison! Morrison was the one who gave the ref the briefcase! Well, because Styles was down, it looked like he was losing, so- But Styles says Morrison also hit Omos with a chair! Omos was gonna make himself a Peanut Butter & Morrison sandwich! Oh big talk having the big man behind you! Styles says is gonna give Morrison a “thunder cookie!” Morison has a five course meal ready for you! Omos moves aside, Miz calms Styles and Morrison down. Because Omos is RIGHT! Morrison cashed Miz’s contract in, Miz is the ONLY one who can cash it in! That’s a LOOPHOLE! Miz demands his contract be revived!

But Drew McIntyre interrupts them here. “Lads, we’ve got ourselves a Six Man Holiday Street Fight later tonight. And if anyone takes you guys out, it’s not each other. It’s gonna be Drew McIntyre.” And speaking of taking these guys out, after he defended his title at TLC, he had a bit of a celebration. Styles will remember that match for a long time because of that mark on his left cheek. McIntyre, Sheamus and Keith Lee each had some pints, had some laughs, and remembered that hilarious “Nightmare Before TLC.” Then Jack Daniels, Jim Bean and Mr. Jameson joined the fun, and McIntyre got the creative juices flowing for a sequel! He had no time for a booklet, but he has it all on a napkin. This will be called, “The Nightmare After TLC.”

‘Twas the night after TLC, and Miz had no Money in the Bank, and Styles was left title-less, with Drew McIntyre to thank! Sheamus appears from the other side of the ring! Both AJ and Miz whined, screaming, “This isn’t fair!” This truly was a Phenomenal Nightmare. Keith joins in! McIntyre tries to remember the big finish. What was it? Don’t ask Sheamus. Everything after 3 AM was a blur. Keith says they can improvise the finish in the Street Fight! But with all this talking, they’re not dressed up for nothing. Let’s just throw down right now! And so the brawl is on! Sheamus has Miz, McIntyre has Morrison and Keith has Styles!

McIntyre TOSSES Morrison overhead and out of the ring! Sheamus knees Miz, McIntyre CLOBBERS Miz then tosses the director chairs! Keith keeps Styles down, but then Styles dropkicks Keith into Styles! McIntyre keeps the peace to explain, and Omos helps Styles get away. There is still dysfunction dating back to Survivor Series, can the WWE Champion keep his friends on friendly terms for tonight?


Keith Lee and Sheamus argue backstage.

Keith didn’t trust Sheamus before, he doesn’t trust him now! McIntyre barges in to stop this. Otherwise, he’ll knock them both on their asses! McIntyre says Keith hitting Sheamus was an accident! Now cool down before the Six Man! Sheamus storms off, and McIntyre tells Keith that Sheamus is like a brother to him. He can be a bit of a prick sometimes, but Sheamus is loyal, too. The three of them could do so much damage if they were united. Let McIntyre worry about Sheamus. Just focus on Styles and the others. Keith accepts that and also heads out. Is this going to work out for the Scottish Warrior, Celtic Warrior and Limitless One?


Ricochet VS T-Bar w/ Retribution!

The One and Only continues to fight against Mustafa Ali’s horde of havoc wreaking henchmen! Will the towering T-Bar break Ricochet down into joining the movement?

Raw returns as Ricochet makes his entrance. The bell rings and Ricochet dropkicks T-Bar! Then fires off hands! T-Bar shoves Ricochet but Ricochet dropkicks a leg out! And then BOOTS T-Bar! Ricochet springboards but into T-Bar’s arms! For a standing knee to the side! And another! And another! And then T-Bar TOSSES Ricochet aside! Retribution is fired up to see that, and Ali tells T-Bar he needs to force Ricochet to see the light. T-Bar fires off clubbing forearms, then runs to CLOBBER him! Cover, TWO!! Ricochet survives but Ali is still confident in T-Bar. T-Bar sits Ricochet up to dig a knee in and clamp on a chinlock!

Ricochet endures, fights up, but T-Bar CLUBS him! T-Bar whips Ricochet, Ricochet holds ropes then dumps T-Bar out! Ricochet builds speed but Slapjack is there, so Ricochet dropkicks him down! Mace rushes in but Ricochet dodges and QUEBRADAS! Ricochet stares Ali down but T-Bar BOOTS Ali down! T-Bar puts Ricochet in but Ali says Ricochet needs to learn. “Stop feeling with your heart! Think with your mind, you fool!” Ricochet hits Ali with fists! T-Bar drags Ricochet in, torture racks, FEAST YOUR EYES!! Cover, T-Bar wins!

Winner: T-Bar, by pinfall

Ricochet put up another fight but Retribution still wins! T-Bar tells Ricochet himself, “When are you gonna learn? Retribution is not your enemy! We are your ally! You will either join us, or we will end your existence!” Will Ricochet finally fall in line with Ali, T-Bar and the mission?


Raw shares The New Day’s post-match reactions.

Even after losing the titles, Xavier Woods says this has happened before. This is what the New Day does. They’ve been at the top of the mountain before and will be there again. Kofi adds that they have to take hats off to the Hurt Business. Kofi cracked teeth, was spitting out pieces in that match. But it’s okay. A man is not measured by high he climbs, but by how high he bounces back from falling down. That is just what they do! Will New Day bounce back better than ever before?


The Hurt Business VS Jeff Hardy & Matt Riddle!

MVP and Bobby Lashley are ready for the Charismatic Enigma and the Original Bro! Will Jeff and a different Matt succeed as this different kind of Hardy Bros? Or will the Hurt Business bankrupt them after the break?

Raw returns and the Hardy Bros make their entrance! The flip-flops fly and teams sort out, and Hardy ambushes MVP and Lashley! MVP gets out, Lashley shoves Hardy down, but Hardy is right after him again! Tag to Riddle, the Hardy Bros mug Lashley and Riddle hops on for a sleeper! Lashley throws Riddle off hard then CLOBBERS him! Lashley looms over Riddle, bumps him off buckles, and tags in MVP. MVP throws body shots on Riddle, stomps him down, but lets off at the ref’s count. MVP keeps Riddle in the corner, RAMS him with a shoulder, then clubs him down! Tag to Lashley, and they mug Riddle in return with stomps!

Lashley looms over Riddle while Alexander talks smack. Lashley hits a neckbreaker, covers, TWO! Riddle hurries for his corner but Lashley drags him away by his hair! Lashley rakes Riddle’s face but stops as the ref counts. Riddle gets up to fire off KICKS! Lashley blocks, but Riddle boots free! Hot tag to Hardy! Hardy fires off forearms and whips, but Lashley reverses. Hardy hits back with forearms, and an atomic drop! Trip up, leg splitting leg drop! Basement dropkick! Splash, cover, TWO! Lashley has power but Riddle tags in. Hardy Bros whip Lashley corner to corner, Riddle sets up, BROETRY IN MOTION!

Lashley falls out of the ring but MVP runs in! Hardy atomic drops MVP to trip, but Hardy helps Riddle with a STANDING FLOATING BRO! MVP bails out, the Hurt Business regroups, but they get wrecked by a dropkick, and Riddle PENALTY KICKS MVP! The Hardy Bros are fired up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Hardy fires off on Lashley. Hardy whips, Lashley reverses but Hardy elbows back! Hardy goes up but Lashley SHOVES him down! Hardy crashes ‘n’ burns to the steel steps, then the floor! Benjamin and Alexander mock Hardy’s pain as Riddle checks on him. Hardy manages to get up but the ring count is 5 of 10! And then 7! Hardy hobbles in at 9, but Lashley is looming right over him. Hardy tries to get to Riddle but Lashley drags him up, wrenches an arm and hits a vicious elbow breaker! Tag to MVP, MVP stomps Hardy then digs an elbow into the shoulder. Hardy endures, MVP shoots to a cover, but Hardy is under ropes. MVP moves Hardy to try again, TWO!

MVP drags Hardy up but Hardy throws hands! MVP throat chops and SMASHES Hardy off his knee! The Hurt Business cheers as MVP runs, BALLIN~! Elbow drop! Cover, TWO! MVP rains down furious rights, then drags Hardy up to whip him to a corner. MVP runs in but Hardy dodges the boot! Hardy goes up and hits WHISPER IN THE WIND! Both men are down and the fans are fire dup on their ThunderDome screens! Hot tag to Riddle! Riddle rallies with a strike fest, then spins MVP for a PELE! Riddle kips up, runs in and forearms MVP, then goes side to side to forearm again! Alexander distract son the apron but not enough, MVP gets a BROSPLODER! To BROTON!

Riddle is fired up and drags MVP into a Fisherman BUSTER! Cover, Lashley breaks it! Lashley helps MVP get to the corner then tags in. Lashley runs at Riddle, and gets him for a COMPLETE SHOT! The Hurt Business is fired up as Lashley reels Riddle in for a suplex, but Riddle fights out! Riddle gets to his corner, Hardy tags in and ROCKS Lashley! FINAL FLASH from Riddle, Hardy sets up for SUPER BROETRY IN MOTION! Riddle wipes out Alexander and Benjamin as Hardy goes up! But MVP is there, only for Hardy to kick him away! SWANTON FLOPS! Lashley aims from a corner, Hardy gets up, but Hardy knees the spear away! TWIST- To the HURT LOCK!! Lashley thrashes Hardy around, Hardy taps, the Hurt Business wins!

Winners: The Hurt Business, by submission

The Hardy Bros were so close, but the Rocky Mountain Machine is just too powerful! But Hardy and Riddle aren’t deterred, will they go back to the drawing board and have a solution?


Styles argues with Miz and Morrison backstage.

The apology sucked! Well Styles’ attitude sucks! It seems these three aren’t doing very well, either. Will the Phenomenal One, the Awesome A-Lister and the Guru of Greatness be able to recover in time for the Street Fight?


Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.

The Drifter has Jaxson Ryker in the ring as security as he plays his guitar. Ryker is a man that understands the universal truth. And after the year Elias has had, from winning at WrestleMania, getting hit by a car but coming back to release his album and getting #1 on the charts, to then survive electrocution, this has been a whirlwind. He thanks his fans who put his album on the top of the list. And those who didn’t just haven’t heard it yet. Elias’ music changes lives! Ryker was reborn by the Universal Truth. Tonight, we test just how powerful Elias’ music can be. Before Ryker sends a message to-

No time to waste! Gran Metalik storms out to the ring for this revenge match over how roughly Ryker treated him, over simply chasing R-Truth! Will Ryker wreck Metalik to send a message to all of the roster?

Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias VS Gran Metalik w/ Lince Dorado!

The bell rings, Ryker grabs at Metalik but Metalik kicks and CHOPS! Ryker whips and sends Metalik flying with a shoulder, all while Elias climbs up the corner? Elias plays while Ryker drops ax handle after ax handle on Metalik! Elias is Ryker’s bard as Ryker whips Metalik, but Metalik POSTS Ryker! Metalik goes after Elias on the top rope, for a SUPER STEINER! Elias tumbles out, Lince has the guitar and plays a tune of his own! But Ryker CLOBBERS Metalik! Ryker choke grips and Choke BOMBS! Cover, Ryker wins!

Winner: Jaxson Ryker, by pinfall

Elias says that is the power of HIS music! Ryker made Metalik understand through pain, but will anyone else come to #WalkWithElias?


Randy Orton is here!

The Viper, the Apex Predator, the Legend Killer… The Fiend Killer? There is no more remorse on Orton’s face, but there is a sick satisfaction. Yes, an Inferno Match is about lighting a part of your opponent on fire, but Orton didn’t end at winning. With Bray Wyatt unconscious on the mat, Orton soaked him with gasoline and set him ablaze! He even looks at the spot in the ring where Bray’s body burned before striking his signature pose on the corner. Orton gets a mic to say, “My entire life, I have been called many, many different things. Sick and twisted, deranged and demented.” Orton proved he is each and everyone one of those things when he burned The Fiend alive!

A normal man would have regrets if they set another man on fire, but The Fiend is no normal man, and neither is Orton. “Last night, I enjoyed every single second as I stood by and watched The Fiend… burn!” Orton again goes to the spot in the ring where it happened. He finds the exact spot where it happened. If Orton closes his eyes, he can still see it, and still smell it. “The stench of burning flesh has a tendency to linger.” Orton didn’t sleep last night, because the voices in his head, which he grew accustomed to, were just gone. The voices don’t exist. The only sound Orton hears in his head is the Fiend gasping for his last breath as the fire grew hotter and the flames grew higher.

Orton smiles into the camera as he says, “The Fiend is gone. The Fiend is no more! And I am the evil son of a bitch that took him out!” Then why are the lights shutting down!? Orton hurries out of the ring but it’s too late. A spotlight shines on the ring, and Alexa Bliss is there! She has a new set for A Moment of Bliss that’s even more demented than before! “Expecting someone else?” He built this for her. Call it, “Alexa’s Playground.” C’mon in, Orton. Wondering where “he” is? He could be at a tanning salon. Looked a little pale. Or maybe he is at the beach. It’s good weather in Florida. Hopefully he doesn’t get a sunburn! Or maybe Fiend is at his favorite restaurant, having his favorite food: barbecue!

Alexa laughs at her own jokes, but admits Orton is right. It was right here, where you can still see and smell what happened to The Fiend’s flesh. He’s not here right now, but it’s almost as if he became one with the mat. “Under the ground, under reach layer of the earth. He’s home.” But if he ever leaves home, he’ll come back to Alexa’s playground. And it’ll be like nothing Orton’s ever seen before. Alexa stares at Orton with her spooky eyes, and the lights turn off again. And when they come back this time, the playground is gone! Did Orton only make The Fiend stronger by burning his body?!


Charlotte Flair & Asuka VS Peyton Royce & Lacey Evans!

The brand new WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions have a title defense set for Christmas SmackDown, so they need something to help them bridge the gap from TLC to Friday night! Will the Queen and Empress be ready for this dysfunctional duo?

Raw returns as Asuka returns to the ring, with pyro! Lacey does last minute stretching as Sarah interviews her and Peyton about facing the new champions. Are they up to the challenge? What kind of question is that? “Pey-Pey” and Lacey asked for this match! They’re not sitting around for handouts. No one is as relentless as Peyton. Ready to get hands on the nasties and take out the trash? Yes, ma’am! High five? No, ma’am. And for the record, Peyton got them this match. But either way, the Sassy Southern Belle and Venus Flytrap head to the ring, ready to upstage the new champions!

The teams sort out, Asuka starts with Peyton, and the two tie up. Asuka headlocks, Peyton powers out but Asuka runs her over! Asuka rolls Peyton, Peyton ducks the kick and waistlocks. Asuka switches, Peyton switches, and Lacey tags in. O’Conner roll but Asuka pops out to get her lock! Lacey drags Asuka off Peyton, Charlotte protests but Asuka throws Lacey out. Lacey blocks the punch to sweep the legs, then slingshots in! Asuka moves to mule kick back! Peyton tags back in, Shayna and Nia are watching backstage as Asuka hip attacks Lacey off the apron! But Asuka turns around into Peyton’s HEEL KICK! Cover, TWO! Peyton grows frustrated but Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Lacey hits Asuka with a swinging bronco buster in the corner! Lacey then hops up, salutes, but Peyton tags in to steal the cover! TWO! Peyton clubs Asuka over and over, goes to the apron to hop up the corner, but Lacey tags in! It’s only fair! Lacey sweeps Asuka’s legs, then slingshots for the elbow! Cover, TWO! Peyton tags back in and the dysfunction is only growing stronger. Asuka is crawling away while they’re arguing! Peyton intercepts with a forearm, then slaps Asuka around. Asuka swipes back! Asuka blocks a kick to get around for a GERMAN SUPLEX! Hot tag to Charlotte!

The Grand Slam Queen rallies on Peyton, back suplexes Lacey high and hard, then kips up! Charlotte CHOPS away on Pey-Pey! Peyton is reeling but Charlotte CHOPS her more! Charlotte whips, Peyton reverses but Charlotte holds ropes to stop herself,. Charlotte hits Peyton with a backbreaker and a BOOT! Charlotte gets the legs, steps through, but Lacey runs in! Charlotte kicks her first, scoops her and hits an EXPLODER! Nia and Shayna are upset as Charlotte swaggers, but Peyton kicks the leg! Peyton rolls Charlotte to a HALF CRAB! Lacey trips Asuka up, rams her down, then slingshots, but Asuka slide sin to sliding KICK Peyton down! Asuka then slides to trip Lacey up, and ROUNDHOUSES her down!

Charlotte flounders up but glares at Peyton. Charlotte trips Peyton, gets the legs, but Peyton twists to victory roll! TWO, Charlotte trips Peyton again! Charlotte lets out a “WOO~!” and puts on the Figure Four! Figure EIGHT! Peyton endures but taps, the champs win!

Winners: Charlotte Flair & Asuka, by submission

The Queen and Empress stand tall together with their belts! But there is still a lot more for them to prove as a team! Will they make it through Christmas day with the gold to then reign in the new year?


WWE and Raw acknowledge Titus O’Neil’s work in the community.

Titus himself rewarded a 27-year member of Sligh Middle Magnet School in Tampa Bay, Florida. He gave Virginia Lowell a very merry Christmas with a brand new car! She was so touched, because she’d never had a moment like this in her life. But her dedication and love for the school needs to be acknowledged and is an example to be followed. Titus also gave away five cars to families in need, and his own dedication and love for the community is something to be acknowledged and followed.


The Miz makes calls to his lawyer.

Again, the loophole of how the MITB contract holder having to be the one to give the briefcase is grounds enough! Talk to WWE management, or the USA Network, and get this set right! Miz is sick of being mistreated! Styles tells Miz to hang up, but when Miz doesn’t, he hangs up for him. They have a match! Morrison and Miz have to shrug that off quickly, because their match is NOW!

Six Man Tag Street Fight: Drew McIntyre, Sheamus & Keith Lee VS The Miz, John Morrison & AJ Styles w/ Jordon Omogbehin!

Neither trio teaming tonight has had the smoothest time together. But it is the holidays, and they all have common enemies on the other side. Will the the King of Claymores, the Fella and the Limitless One make their opponents #BaskInTheirGlory? Or will the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century *stare off into distance* and Phenomenal One be able to turn things around before the year is over?

Raw returns as Keith Lee makes his entrance. So far, Sheamus and Keith are able to stand together. Then Miz and Morrison make their entrance, followed by Styles and Omos. The bell rings and Morrison steps up to start with Sheamus, they tie up and go around, and Sheamus has a facelock. Morrison gets around to club away on the arm then he whips, Sheamus kicks back, clubs Morrison and ROCKS him with a right! Morrison throws hands back, trips Sheamus up and drags him over to tag in Miz! Miz stomps Sheamus and throws hands at the ropes. Miz chokes on Sheamus, then Morrison KICKS Sheamus! Styles tags in, he and Miz mug Sheamus, but Sheamus hits back!

Sheamus throws hands on Styles in a corner, reels him in and CLOBBERS him! Sheamus drags Styles up, Styles throws hands, then he puts Sheamus in a corner. Morrison tags in but they all mug Sheamus! Morrison stomps Sheamus, Miz gets his shot and Morrison mule kicks! Morrison cravats, but Sheamus resists the snapmare and throws hands! Sheamus CLOBBERS Morrison and drags Morrison over to tag in McIntyre. McIntyre and Sheamus split the wishbone! McIntyre drags Morrison up to bump off buckles, then CHOPS him! Morrison flounders but McIntyre drags him around to stomp the arms.

McIntyre drags Morrison up but Morrison slips out of the scoop to dropkick the bad leg! Morrison fires off KICKS, brings McIntyre out of the corner and KICKS the leg, to a DRAGON SCREW! McIntyre clutches his leg, Morrison drags McIntyre up but gets a GLASGOW KISS! McIntyre hobbles to his corner, brings Morrison with him and CLUBS Morrison down! Tag to Keith, McIntyre gets the bad leg moving as he and Keith double suplex Morrison and hold him up! Then they TOSS Morrison across the way! Morrison crashes down and Keith glares at Miz and Styles. Keith dares one of them to tag in as he drags Morrison away.

Keith clamps onto Morrison’s arm, drags him up to knuckle lock, and then brings Morrison over to tag in Sheamus. The mutual friends of McIntyre whip Morrison and run him over with double shoulders! Then they double elbow Miz as he runs in! And double hip toss Styles! McIntyre’s team holds the ropes and Sheamus gives Keith a pat on the shoulder. Keith gives it back. Sheamus gives another, but Keith gives a GRIZZLY MAGNUM!? McIntyre gets in before this gets too aggressive! This is what McIntyre was talking about, them destroying anyone as a unified unit! But will they stay unified after the break?

Raw returns once again and Sheamus has Styles’ arm! Styles endures as Sheamus keeps twisting! Sheamus drags Styles up, Styles throws haymakers, then runs, but into an elbow! Sheamus drags Miz into the ring and Morrison joins in! McIntyre goes after Morrison and throws him out! The Celtic Connection have a duet of BEATS OF THE BODHRAIN! Keith meanwhile comes around and has them feed him BOTH Miz and Morrison, for a DOUBLE RAM into the apron! Keith throws Morrison into presents! And then he throws Miz into a pile of presents on the other end! Styles is put in the ring for Sheamus to grind down with a chinlock!

Styles endures, Sheamus gives him clubbing forearms then drops knees over and over! Sheamus digs his knee in but Styles tries to pull on the beard. Sheamus drops another knee, then throws big haymakers. Styles hits back, someone throws in a present box! The box is moved aside as Sheamus whips Styles, but Styles dodges and Sheamus POSTS himself! Hot tag to Miz and Miz stomps away on Sheamus! Morrison jumps in again but McIntyre goes after them! Keith also gets in, Sheamus and McIntyre CHOP Miz and Morrison out of the ring! Sheamus drags Morrison back up, fireman’s carries, and hits a rolling senton! Sheamus goes up top, but has to DECK Morrison first!

Styles creeps over, Sheamus glares at him, but then Morrison returns! Morrison shoves Sheamus down through a table of cookies! Keith and McIntyre check on Sheamus while Morrison and team creep over. Morrison drags Sheamus away to stomp him down! Morrison puts Sheamus in, stomps and covers, TWO! Miz tags in, he and Morrison drag Sheamus up for a double GUT BUSTER! Miz knocks Sheamus down, claws at his face, and digs in with no disqualifications stopping him! Sheamus hurries for his corner but Miz keeps him away with a facelock and clubbing forearms! Miz hits a BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!!

Miz seethes as he drags Sheamus up and around. Styles tags in, they stomp away on Sheamus at the ropes, and Styles kicks Sheamus down! Styles drags Sheamus up but Sheamus fires off hands! Styles headbutts then enziguris! Styles dropkicks Keith just because! But Sheamus hits WHITE NOISE outta nowhere! Both men are down and McIntyre reaches out! Sheamus crawls, Styles does, too, hot tags to Miz and McIntyre! McIntyre rallies with big shoulders, then a whip, and an OVERHEAD SUPLEX! Morrison gets in but gets an OVERHEAD SUPLEX for his trouble! Miz gets another OVERHEAD SUPLEX!

McIntyre manages a kip up, he elbows through Morrison’s boot to INVERTED ALABAMA SLAM him onto Miz! McIntyre brings Miz up, Miz slips out of Future Shock to kick the bad leg! Miz runs, into a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, Styles breaks it! Styles turns around into Keith’s POUNCE! Morrison gets up, FLYING CHUCK to Keith! Sheamus sees Morrison, IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Miz BOOTS Sheamus out but McIntyre clotheslines Miz out! Styles uses a candy cane kendo stick to SMACK away on McIntyre’s bad leg! McIntyre hobbles out, Styles runs over, McIntyre TOSSES him into a Christmas tree!

Styles flounders and McIntyre brings him over, to POWERBOMB him through a table of eggnog!! Yuck! Morrison has a kendo stick but so does Sheamus! Sheamus SMACKS away on Morrison first! Morrison hits back, McIntyre gets in as Keith gives him Miz! Sheamus chases Morrison off, McIntyre aims but Sheamus tags in!? Sheamus wants to finish this, but then Keith tags in! Are they falling apart again? Morrison distracts Keith, Keith shoves Morrison into Omos’ arms! Morrison thinks he’s saved, but Omos POWERSLAMS Morrison through a table! That’s for the chair shot at TLC! Meanwhile, Keith pops Miz up for a SPIRTI BOMB!! Cover, Keith and the Celtic Connection win!

Winners: Drew McIntyre, Sheamus & Keith Lee, by pinfall

Then Sheamus BROGUES Keith! McIntyre can’t believe Sheamus! “I vouched for you! Why!? Why?!?” McIntyre told Keith he could trust Sheamus but clearly not! Is there still no love lost between these former Team Raw members?

My Thoughts:

A pretty good Raw to follow TLC, but it could’ve been better. For one, there were too many recap packages and it sure felt like too many commercial breaks throughout the night, that alone might be a problem with ratings. Obviously more the recaps than the commercials, but it has been awhile since USA Network has given Raw a picture in picture break. Another horribly glaring flaw was how the Six Man Tag main event went. If it is a Street Fight, meaning no disqualifications and no count outs, IT BECOMES A TORNADO TAG BY DEFAULT!! The six of them should’ve all been brawling, it should’ve been chaotic, and it should’ve wrecked everything at ringside. But no, it was some awful hybrid of a NORMAL Six Man Tag and a Street Fight. The table spots and kendo sticks came off more like, “Oh, yeah, we forgot those were allowed.”

The only good development was Sheamus giving Keith a Brogue over their dysfunction finally hitting a boiling point. And a bad development from the entire story of the world title is that Miz thinks he can get his MITB briefcase back because of a loophole. It really hurts the amazing passion Miz gave us in that promo about not being respected. And a promo like that always works with Miz because we all know it was a legitimate thing when he got started! With Miz being booked the way he has, it also adds to that a bit, where WWE isn’t giving him and/or Morrison respect by making them respectable threats to the world title, but him using a loophole to get his briefcase and his title shot back is not The Miz I want getting the shot. The Miz captured within the worked shoot promo is what I want! Miz needs to have aggression so that we’ll want to see him fight McIntyre for the title.

We had pretty good stuff for the Women’s Division, and obviously focused on the Women’s Tag Division. Charlotte and Asuka have good promos against Shayna and Nia, but the Sexy Muscle Friends were fed just the dumbest reindeer jokes on Nia and Shayna, all because it’s the holidays. Those lines didn’t need to be in the promos, just stick to the joke about the belts being gone. But they at least get to look good in a match with Shayna and Nia, even if they lose. Shayna and Nia keep an eye on Charlotte and Asuka during their match with Peyton and Lacey. I suppose it’s good progress for Peyton and Lacey to and least try to be united, and it was fine that it didn’t work out. Charlotte and Asuka win, obviously, because for one, they’re Charlotte and Asuka.

Then the new champs have a title match on Friday already, and though the team isn’t announced, the challengers have to be the Riott Squad. That is the only women’s tag team on SmackDown that is winning at all. I hope this is a sign Charlotte and Asuka get to follow in the footsteps of Bayley and Sasha, going back to NXT to face some NXT teams like Candice LeRae & Indi Hartwell of The Way, and maybe even get involved in a TakeOver event. Raw has the ratings problem, but I would think strengthening the Women’s Tag Division on all shows would help Raw just as much.

The Hurt Business had a pretty good night. They bullied a New Day fan within the crew because duh, the New Day is the one tag team even plausible as a contender to the Raw Tag Team Championships. Yes, Hardy and Riddle did well as a team, but they still lost to MVP and Lashley. There is still some sorting out to do on who challenges for the US Championship next, but maybe Hardy gives Riddle the go ahead on it. Riddle had a hard time with his overly complicated “chill” promo, so I think WWE needs to let Riddle be the Bro and not try to write him as what they think The Bro should be.

Garza squashes Gulak because he desperately needs momentum after splitting off from Zelina Vega and then just treading water with trying to go all in with the Lothario bit. Ricochet loses to a Retribution member again, but perhaps because he isn’t joining. I’m still wondering if someone joins his fight, since Dana was apparently a one-time partner. Maybe Titus O’Neil can move over from the 24/7 Championship scene to help Ricochet. Titus has been a great role model for his charity, maybe he can be a role model in the ring standing against Ali trying to force everyone to see things his way. Ricochet and Titus would make a great combination, really. And speaking of the 24/7 Championship, Truth getting in on the VIP Lounge was a great way of sprinkling all that in.

I think the best stuff tonight was Orton and Alexa in relation to The Fiend. Orton might’ve been trying a little too hard to be menacing supervillain, but he is still doing really well. Alexa having a playground set is a great evolution of her own part in this story. I don’t know if Nikki Cross returns to feud with Alexa more, but I almost want a “Firefly Playground” match now. And what Alexa said about The Fiend only getting stronger now, Bray Wyatt might be the secret to Raw fixing their ratings and fulfilling that apparent request by USA Network for more “adult” content, in terms of being spooky scary horror movie stuff. Either way, I hope the endgame is the Firefly Fun House sequel with Orton to bring up his past and throw it in his face.

In fact, with John Cena being disappeared because “You Can’t See Me,” I think Orton should get “burned” in return since A) he loves burning Bray’s stuff, and B) Orton’s original theme was “Burn In My Light.” Gotta bring things full circle to make it worth it.

My Score: 8.2/10

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AEW Coverage

Mitchell’s AEW Rampage Results & Report! (3/1/24)

Rampage towards Revolution!



Riho’s on a Rampage!

Just 48 hours ahead of AEW Revolution, there’s an All Star Scramble qualifier, CMLL stars debuting, and Riho returning to action!


  • Claudio Castagnoli VS Rugido; wins.
  • Riho VS Trish Adora; wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Lance Archer & The Righteous VS ???
  • All-Star Scramble Qualifier: Magnus VS Matt Sydal; wins and advances to AEW Revolution.


[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will begin later tonight]

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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/1/24)

The Rock says…! The Rock says…!



The American Nightmare wants an answer!

Finally…! The Rock has come back to Arizona! And tonight on SmackDown, the world wants to know: Will he accept Cody Rhodes’ challenge of a 1v1 match?


  • Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton; wins.
  • Street Fight: Carlito VS Santos Escobar; wins.
  • Bayley & Dakota Kai VS The Kabuki Warriors w/ Iyo Sky; win.
  • Randy Orton VS Austin Theory w/ Grayson Waller; wins.


The Bloodline heads to the ring!

Glendale, AZ fires up as Roman Reigns leads the way for Paul Heyman, Jimmy Uso & Solo Sikoa. The Tribal Chief is handed the Universal Championship to hold it up for the pyro while everyone else holds up the ones. Roman is on day 1,279 as he continues down the ramp and enters the ring. And as it stands, in 36 days, he will defend the title against The American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! Roman raises the belt again for the second round of pyro, and then the fans can be heard torn between cheering and jeering. Heyman still hands the mic over to Roman, the fans boo harder, and Roman says, “Glendale, Arizona…! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!”

The fans are torn again, still plenty putting up the ones. Roman says it used to be louder. It has to be the fans and not Roman, so let’s try this again. “Phoenix, Arizona…! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans still boo but then a “CODY! CODY!” chant starts. Roman has a headache and says, “I’m gonna try this one last time. And if you don’t get on my page, I’ve fulfilled my obligation and I’m leaving. Last shot. Glendale, Arizona…! ACKNOWLEDGE ME!!” The fans are louder but just with more boos and chants for Cody. Roman says they’re done here. Call the FBO, fire up the jet, the appearance is done, you’re welcome.

But Heyman tells the Tribal Chief that they still have some other business to attend to, they cannot leave yet. He is coming out, remember? Just give Heyman a moment. The fans mock Roman with “Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye~!” Heyman says in just a moment, The People’s Champion, The BBE up in WWE, the Greatest Movie Star of All Time, will be out here live. THE ROCK! After these commercial messages. Roman is annoyed with the fans as they continue to boo, will the mood pick up after the break?

SmackDown returns, and yes, The Rock is here! Fans fire up as he makes his entrance, this time wearing a Versace shirt to parallel the classic vest from last week. The Great One swaggers his way to the ring as he gets his introduction, then grabs himself a mic. The Rock takes a moment to soak up all the heat, and then says, “Are you sure you wanna boo The Rock?” The fans boo harder! The Rock says it’s time to drop some gospel on them. He has news they’ll probably like, might even be proud of. Apparently, Glendale is ten miles away from Phoenix. So then, are there people from Phoenix here tonight?

The fans cheer and The Rock knew it. It makes sense. He did some research, and found this out. This is truth, this is fact, the number one city in America for cocaine and meth use is Phoenix, Arizona! The fans are weirdly torn about that. “And here’s what that means. Finally…! Your life has meaning! Because finally, you cactus loving crackheads worth shooting in your veins! As you sit and you look at The Rock (censoring of the crowd happens apparently), FINALLY! The Rock has come back to Arizooona~!” The fans do cheer that, at least. The Rock then says he is covered in chills, he’s in a good mood!

The Universal Champion, Roman, is in a good mood! Jimmy Uso is in a good mood! Even Solo Sikoa, though you wouldn’t know it by looking at him, but that is his happy face. He’s in a good mood. And here’s why they’re in a good mood, Arizona. Because once again, though it’s been decades, professional wrestling is cool! The fans cheer that! The Rock says pro-wrestling is exciting, it is in a word, electrifying once again. It’s why Birmingham, Alabama, they sold out. It’s why in Salt Lake City, they sold out. It’s why tonight in “this crack den with popcorn,” they are sold out! And it’s why next week, in Dallas, Texas, is sold out!

It’s why in two weeks, in Memphis, Tennessee, when The Rock comes home, that will sell out, too. And the reason why is because there is greatness among you. Wrestling is cool because of The Rock, Roman Reigns & The Bloodline! The fans chant for “ROCKY! ROCKY!” but also “CODY! CODY!” The Rock asks, “Y’know who’s not cool? Your hear, Cody Rhodes.” The Rock tells Cody he thinks he’s tough, wants to challenge Rock to go 1v1 with the Great One! The Rock sees Cody, hears Cody, and tonight in Arizona, here is The Rock’s answer. It’s NO! The fans boo but The Rock says “You think you’re just gonna one on one with The Great One just because you want to?”

That’s not how it happens! That ain’t the real world, Glendale! You know it and The Rock knows it. But guess what, Cody? The world wants to go 1v1 with The Rock. And y’know who else wants it? Every woman in this arena. The fans really go wild there. The Rock smiles and tells the “crackhead Karens” and “meth head Marys” to calm down. Ain’t no way they’re ready for The Rock’s 22 inches of Heaven! And no, keep your mind out of the gutter. Not The Rock’s “Holy Moses.” He means the guns hanging from his shoulders that he’ll wrap around Cody. But it ain’t gonna be 1v1. Cody, you think you’re tough, that you can go 1v1 with The Rock. Are you an idiot?

Cody’s got the biggest WrestleMania match of his career with the most dominant WWE Champion in HISTORY, and Cody’s challenging The Rock?! The Rock, Roman & Bloodline saw the challenge, heard it, laughed at it, but now, The Rock is being a businessman. Here is a counter offer. The Rock tells the fans to shut up and listen. Cody thinks he’s tough, him and his new bestie, “that walking clown emoji,” Seth Rollins, they think they’re tough, huh? So here’s the challenge. Night one of WrestleMania, the biggest tag team match in the history of the WWE! The biggest tag team in the history of pro-wrestling!

It will be Cody & Seth VS Universal Champion & People’s Champion! But not just a regular tag match, either. The Rock & Roman could just beat the piss out of ’em and be done with it, but no, here’s what they’ll do. IF those two jabronies beat Rock & Roman on night one, then on night two, Cody VS Roman will be free of The Bloodline. No Jimmy, no Solo, no Heyman, no Rock, they’re all barred from ringside. They’ll get the lawyers, the contracts, The Rock’s word and Roman’s word. IF Cody & Seth win, Cody can #FinishTheStory 1v1 with Roman Reigns. The fans rally up for “CODY! CODY!” but The Rock smirks.

The Rock says but, because there’s always a but. If, or rather when, Rock & Roman beat those two candy asses on night one, then on night two, the championship match, it is Bloodline Rules. Anything goes! The Rock might just pull up a chair next to Pat McAfee, call that match, Jimmy as referee, Heyman gets the foreign objects, Solo sings the national anthem. Yes, that is very funny, Solo has a great voice, but just sit there and shut up. The fans chant for “SOLO! SOLO!” and Solo is rather surprised, maybe a little nervous. It’s Bloodline Rules, The Rock takes that chair, and he’ll find his way to Cody to bash his brains in. And it’ll be legal!

So there’s a lot to think about, Cody. You think you’re tough, that you can even go 2v2 against the greatest duo in sports entertainment. Cody, meet them next week in Dallas to give us the answer. Because listen here, Cody, and “you walking emoji clown show,” Seth Rollins. If you do NOT accept the challenge, then you know, the fans know, and the world knows, The Rock will do everything in his power to make sure Cody does not win at WrestleMania. And there ain’t a man back there that can stop The Rock from doing it. You all know where The Rock sits. You all know The Rock is on the board, and owns it all! That means The Rock is your boss!

The fans boo but The Rock says there’s no one can stop him. No GM, no VP of who gives an F! But the fans chant “TRIPLE H! TRIPLE H!” The Rock ignores that to say here’s the thing, Cody. If you don’t accept the challenge… then The Rock & Roman will end your story tragically. So how tough do you think you are, Cody? Meet them in Dallas for SmackDown and give them the answer. “IF YA SMELLL~” WAIT. Roman cuts The Rock off?! Even Heyman is stunned! The fans are losing their minds as The Rock just stares at Roman. Roman gets the mic from Heyman, and he says he needs something.

Roman will do anything for the family, but he needs this one thing. Roman looks The Rock in the eye, and he tells The Rock, “Acknowledge me.” Fans are stunned to hear The Tribal Chief ask this of The People’s Champion! The Rock takes off his sunglasses to look Roman dead in the eye. The Rock says, “Roman Reigns… my family… I acknowledge you… as my Tribal Chief.” Fans are even more stunned! The Rock then holds out his hand, and Roman takes it. The fans tell The Rock, “You Sold Out! You Sold Out!” The Rock and Roman brush that off and The Rock says, “Let The Rock explain something to you idiots.

“This is family. And we will do anything for family. Now go home and smoke some more crack. IF YA SMELLLL~…” The Rock then hands it over to Roman?! Roman finishes it with, “What The BLOODLINE is cooking!” The Samoan Dynasty’s foundation is stronger than ever, will nothing stop them from completely dominating the WWE?


Grayson Waller and Austin Theory look at footage.

Waller says Randy Orton’s about to win the Chamber, and then BAM! Logan Paul gets him clean with the brass knuckles! But then LA Knight storms in and asks if they’ve seen AJ Styles. Nope. They don’t care where he is, either. LA Knight holds up the chair from Chamber and says let AJ know there’s a receipt waiting for him. Knight leaves, and A-Town Down Under goes back to the replay. And then Orton walks in to overhear them mocking him. Orton walks up and laughs at the video. Yeah, play it again. Uh, okay… Yes, RKO on Drew, Orton is excited but feeling sore, and then BAM! Logan knocks him out! Hilarious!

Orton says he’s never seen anything as funny as that. Actually, he has a great idea. Orton will do something hilarious just like that! It doesn’t matter who it is, but one of them goes to the ring to face Orton, and he’ll try to literally rip their head off! The fun part is, they get to choose who gets the holy hell beat out of them! Waller says Theory has talked about wanting to face Orton! Orton says good on Theory! See you later! Orton leaves and Theory says first Australia and now this. Waller keeps selling him out! Waller says no, this is a great chance for a main event with Orton! A-Town Down Under argues, but will Theory end up getting bit by The Viper?


Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton!

Speaking of Elimination Chamber, neither woman here won their match, with The Glow being eliminated by the Wrestling Barbie fairly early. Will Naomi get some payback here tonight? Or will SmackDown be put on #TiffyTime?


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