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Mitchell’s New Japan Cup Results & Report! (3/5/21)

The New Japan Cup returns!

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NJPW New Japan Cup 2021

Once again, it’s NJPW’s tournament to the top!

Though this tournament technically kicked off with NJPW’s 49th Anniversary Event, things properly begin tonight! Who takes the first step towards THE IWGP World Championship?

NOTE: NJPW no longer wants to feed AXS TV now that it is with Anthem and Impact Wrestling. But never fear, I will cover NJPW in the spirit of AXS in providing the most important matches of the show.

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Six Man Tag: The United Empire VS Master Wato, Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima; The United Empire wins.
  • 2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: Toru Yano VS Bad Luck Fale; Yano wins and advances.
  • 2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: Hirooki Goto VS Taichi; Goto wins and advances.

PLAY BY PLAY

Six Man Tag: The United Empire VS Master Wato, Hiroyoshi Tenzan & Satoshi Kojima!

Jeff Cobb and Great-O-Khan are already into the next round of the tournament, and Will Ospreay is hoping to do the same! Will the United Empire be victorious again? Or will the Way of the Grandmaster help Ikari no Mogyu and the King of Cozy Style in the resistance?

The trios talk trash to each other and the ref tries to keep the peace as Ospreay eggs Tenzan on. But then the Empire rushes in and attacks anyway! The bell rings to get this on record, and Ospreay throws Tenzan out while Khan throws Wato and Cobb throws Kojima. The Empire goes out and attacks the resistance. Ospreay throws hands on Tenzan, Cobb throws Kojima into railing then goes after Cobb. Khan puts Kojima in to stomp him down while Ospreay clubs Tenzan down. Fans rally for the resistance as Khan clamps onto Kojima with a chinlock. Khan lets off and brings Kojima up for Mongolian Chops! Khan taunts Tenzan then Mongolian Chops Kojima again!

Fans fire up for Kojima as he blocks the chops to go for Mongolian Chops! Khan blocks those, fires off forearms, spins but Kojima ROCKS him first! Kojima fires off forearms and spins, but Khan Mongolian Chops him down! Khan stomps Kojima, Ospreay knocks Tenzan and Wato off the corner and Cobb stomps Kojima, too. The Empire all stomp Kojima together, then drag him up. Khan puts Kojima in a corner, he and Cobb whip Kojima corner to corner, then they send Ospreay in, only for Kojima to toss Ospreay out! Cobb kicks Kojima and holds him as Khan runs, but Kojima fights back! Kick for Khan, DDT for Cobb!

Kojima swats Khan’s clothesline away, then kicks and SPIKES him with a DDT! Fans fire up for Kojima and he fires off machine gun CHOPS in the corner! Kojima tops it off with one more CHOP, then whips Khan corner to corner. Kojima runs in to forearm smash and he throws Khan down. Fans fire up more and Kojima climbs up. Ospreay is there to throw Kojima down! Ospreay and Cobb attack Tenzan and Wato again! Khan gest Kojima’s arm and wants the Kimura! Kojima endures, fans rally up, but Khan drags Kojima over to a Fujiwara! Kojima still endures so Khan stomps the arm! Khan drags Kojima up, drags him over to the corner and Cobb tags in.

The Empire mugs Kojima, and Cobb throws forearms. Kojima reaches but Cobb brings him away from his corner. Cobb scoops Kojima, pops him up and RAMS him into the corner! Tag to Ospreay and he stomps Kojima, then CHOPS him! Ospreay scoops and SLAMS Kojima to then drop a knee! Cover, TWO! Ospreay keeps his cool and Khan joins him. The fans rally but the Empire double whips Kojima. Kojima kicks Ospreay, swats Khan, and then kicks Ospreay for a COZY CUTTER! Both men are down but fans fire up! Kojima crawls, and hot tags Tenzan! Tenzan runs Ospreay over, DECKS Cobb, and fires up!

Tenzan clubs and wants to Mongolian Chop but Khan clubs him from behind! Khan goes to Mongolian Chop but Tenzan headbutts low! And then Tenzan “steals” the Mongolian Chops! Ospreay kicks Tenzan, runs, but into the WINDMILL KICK! Fans fire up with Tenzan as he corner splashes Ospreay, then hits a BIG suplex! Cover, TWO! Fans rally, Tenzan brings Ospreay up and gives him more Mongolian Chops! Ospreay mule kicks, but Tenzan blocks the fireman’s carry. Ospreay powers through but Tenzan slips off and shoves him to a corner. Ospreay boots back, springboards, PIP PIP CHEERIO! Cover, TWO!

Ospreay fires up, fans rally, and Ospreay reels Tenzan in for double underhooks. Tenzan resists the lift so Ospreay gives him Kowata Kicks. Ospreay runs, gets around the clothesline and HOOK KICKS! But he runs into MOUNTAIN BOMB! Tenzan fires up after hitting the modified back drop, he and Ospreay hot tag Cobb and Wato! Wato springboards for the flying uppercut, but is caught! Wato elbows free, gives kicks and kicks and a mule kick. Cobb blocks the whip, Wato ROUNDHOUSES him! Wato whips, Cobb reverses but Wato dodges to leg lariat! Cover, TWO! Kojima and Tenzan hit the Empire then go after Cobb!

Bea Priestley protests but Wato whips Cobb corner to corner to elbow! Kojima elbows, then feeds Cobb to Tenzan’s headbutt! Wato springboards for the flying uppercut! Cover, TWO! Fans rally up and the resistance regroups. Wato spins but Cobb blocks the kick to a FALL AWAY SLAM! Bridging cover, but Kojima breaks it! Khan attacks and whips Kojima to BOOT him down! Tenzan Mongolian Chops Khan down! Ospreay ROLLING ELBOWS Tenzan! Ospreay whips and pops Wato up but Wato RANAS! Cobb grabs Wato but Wato bell claps free! SCREW HIGH KICK! Tilt-o-whirl, but Cobb pops that and blocks the rana for a TOUR OF THE ISLANDS!! Cover, the Empire wins!!

Winners: The United Empire, by pinfall

And the resistance has been crushed! At least, for now! Ospreay and Tenzan still have a tournament battle, will the Empire be united in the second round?

But then EVIL strikes! He wants after Cobb, who will be his first opponent in the tournament! Evil rakes Cobb’s eyes and Dick Togo uses the SPOILER CHOKER on him! The rest of the Empire rushes back and runs Evil off, but the damage has been done! Will the Hawaiian Hulk make the King of Darkness defy the Empire?

 

2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: Toru Yano VS Bad Luck Fale!

It seems like the Producer and the Rogue General are fated to fight! But will Fale take care of two birds with one Grenade, and be both a second-round entrant and KOPW 2021 contender?

After Yano’s very long introduction that might be getting even longer, Yano points the KOPW trophy at Fale, and Fale SWATS it away! The bell rings, Fale rolls Yano up, TWO!! Fale looms over Yano in the corner and stomps him, and the KOPW trophy is broken AGAIN! Fale throws hands, whips Yano corner to corner, then runs in. Yano dodges, and goes to untie a buckle pad! Fale runs in again, Yano dodges, Fale stops himself from hitting bare buckles, but Yano SLAPS Fale on the back of the head! Fale glares at Yano and Yano apologizes. Yano dodges Fale, SLAPS him again, then runs. Fale runs Yano over! Yano bails out and fans rally up.

Yano clings to the railing and says he’s afraid of Fale! Fale runs out and catches Yano before he can go into the ring, and he RAMS Yano into railing! Then he whips Yano into more railing! Fale CLUBS Yano, brings him around and whips him into more railing! The ref reprimands but Fale tells him to shut up. Fale throws body shots on Yano, brings him around and whips him into even more railing! Fale stomps Yano, goes back to the ring, and lets the count handle this. Fans rally up for Yano as the count climbs, and Yano stirs at around 5 of 20. Yano slowly sits up, stands up at 15 of 20, and goes around railing. Yano hurries in at 19.9! Fale stomps Yano down but fans still rally.

Fale stands on Yano’s body at the ropes! The ref counts and Fale lets off at 3. Fale brings Yano up, Yano fires off forearms and hammering fists! Yano fires up and tries to scoop Fale! Fale is annoyed and he scoops to SLAM Yano! Fale stands on Yano for the cover, TWO!! Yano still lives and Fale is even more annoyed. Fans rally up as Fale drags Yano up to a choke grip! Yano clubs free, fires off forearms, but Fale ROCKS Yano back! Yano ends up in the corner, and Fale runs in. Yano dodges and Fale gets bare buckles to the chest! Yano tries to scoop, Fale scoops him and SLAMS him back! Fale drags Yano up, scoops and SLAMS Yano again! And then drops the elbow, only to miss!

Yano bails out, Fale rolls out after him and fans rally up again. Fale drags Yano up and whips but Yano blocks with help from railing! Fale blocks the reversal, to send Yano into railing after all! Fale runs in but Yano dodges and Fale runs into the railing! Yano comes back with TAPE! Yano goes after Fale but Fale shoves him into a post! Fale CLUBS Yano, and then has Yano’s tape! Fale is tying Yano’s hands around the corner! The ring count is climbing but Fale finishes up his work at 10 of 20! Fale CLUBS Yano, Yano kicks back, and then Yano baits Fale into running into the POST! LOW BLOW?! The ref didn’t see because he’s busy counting! Fale is down, Yano gets in at 19!! YANO WINS!!

Winner: Toru Yano, by count-out (advances to the next round)

Another win that’s outside the box and by the skin of Yano’s teeth! Yano keeps Fale from being a contender in both the Cup and for the KOPW 2021! But will Yano be able to get a new, less fragile trophy so that he can defend it at all?

 

2021 New Japan Cup Opening Round: Hirooki Goto VS Taichi!

The Fierce Warrior and the Sliest Wrestler in the World have both had battles with the Guerrillas of Destiny and lost. But now they can fight their way to the top of NJPW! Will Goto be ready for whatever tricks Taichi has up his proverbial sleeve?

Taichi takes off his cloak and shows off the dancing pecs, which fans cheer. Goto still doesn’t trust Taichi’s pouch, so Taichi puts that aside. The bell rings and fans rally already! Goto and Taichi stare down, stretch a bit, then slowly circle. They approach, tie up, and Goto powers Taichi to ropes. Taichi just relaxes and Goto lets off cleanly. They circle again and fans rally up. Goto and Taichi tie up, Goto puts Taichi back on ropes, and then lets off clean again. Taichi applauds and so do fans, and the two circle again. Goto and Taichi approach, tie up, and Goto headlocks, but Taichi tries the saido already! Goto fights that off, but Taichi puts him on ropes now.

Taichi lets off, but then chokes Goto! Red Shoes counts, Taichi lets go at 4. Taichi kicks Goto out of the ring, follows him out, and then whips Goto into railing! Taichi brings Goto around, scoops him, and gives him SNAKE EYES to railing! Taichi uses camera cord to CHOKE Goto! Red Shoes reprimands, counts, and Taichi lets go with one hand at 4. Red Shoes says that’s not enough, but Taichi keeps choking Goto, and even pulls hair. Red Shoes starts the ring count so Taichi lets go of Goto at 4 of 20. Taichi drags Goto up and around at 12 of 20 and chokes Goto on the railing! Taichi leaves Goto behind at 15, but Goto gets in at 19! Fans cheer but Taichi stands on Goto at the ropes.

Red Shoes reprimands, counts, but Taichi lets go of the ropes. Again, not the problem! Taichi finally steps off Goto’s neck and fans rally up. Taichi drags Goto from the apron, brings him up, and snapmares him to CHOKE him! Red Shoes reprimands, Taichi stops, but then does it again! Red Shoes reprimands, that’s a choke, not a cover! Taichi lets off, and says if he wants to see a choke, here’s a CHOKE! Red Shoes counts, Taichi lets off and smirks while fixing his hair. Taichi drags Goto up, and hides a choke inside a shoulder clamp! Red Shoes checks and sees the trick so Taichi lets go. Fans rally for Goto but Taichi drags him up to snapmare again. Taichi KICKS Goto in the back, covers, TWO!

Taichi toys with Goto now as he scuffs his head. Goto grits his teeth and gets up but Taichi boots him! Taichi kicks Goto around, but Goto CHOPS and CHOPS back! Taichi chokes Goto to throw him down! Red Shoes reprimands but Taichi just drags Goto back up. Taichi gives Goto Kowata Kicks, then KICKS Goto down. Goto slowly sits up but Taichi stomps him back down. Taichi gives more Kowata Kicks, but Goto just gets mad! Goto glares at Taichi and CHOPS, CHOPS, CHOPS! Goto ROCKS Taichi, runs, but Taichi choke grips! Goto choke grips back! Goto chokes Taichi to a corner! Fans cheer but Red Shoes reprimands.

Goto lets go, Taichi kicks low, but Goto follows Taichi as he runs to LARIAT Taichi down! Fans fire up as both men are down! Goto catches his breath and gets up first. Goto drags Taichi up, fires forearms, whips Taichi to a corner, then runs in to MURAMASA! And BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Goto drags Taichi up, fireman’s carries, but Taichi fights off, only for Goto to block the saido! Goto throws elbows, Taichi staggers to a corner, and Goto runs in, but Taichi dodges to GAMANGIRI! Both men are down but fans rally up! Taichi drags himself to a corner and gets up. Taichi powers up his arm, runs at Goto and AX BOMBERS! But Goto stays up?!

Goto fires up and runs, to LARIAT! But Taichi stays up!! Taichi runs, AX BOMBER, but Goto still stays up! Goto runs and LARIATS, Taichi still stays up! Both men run, DOUBLE LARIATS hit but neither falls! And then DOUBLE LARIATS again! Goto runs, and again DOUBLE LARIATS hit! This time, both men drop to their knees! Fans rally up, Goto runs but again LARIATS collide! Taichi GAMANGIRIS! Both men are down again and fans are thunderous! Taichi sits up first and Goto stirs, but off come the pants! Taichi powers up from the corner, but Goto CLOBBERS him first! Goto goes to back suplex but Taichi elbows free!

Taichi runs, Goto follows but Taichi dodges and reels Goto in! Goto resists Seiteijyujiryou, reels Taichi in to a fireman’s carry, and hits USHIGOROSHI! Fans fire up again as Goto drags Taichi back up. Taichi grabs a leg but Goto clubs him over and over! Goto drags Taichi up, clubs him, knees him and hits URA GTR! Cover, TWO!! Taichi survives but fans fire up again! Goto stands first, drags Taichi up, reels him into the dragon sleeper, but Taichi choke grips from below! Taichi gets free of the dragon sleeper but Goto swats Taichi’s grip away! Goto spins but into a choke grip! CHOKE SLAM!! Fans are thunderous as both men are down again!

Taichi sits up and slaps some sense into himself. Taichi drags Goto back up with the choke grip, but Goto gets free and swings, but into the DANGEROUS SAIDO!! Cover, TWO!?! Taichi can’t believe it but the fans are thunderous again! Taichi fires up, gives a thumbs down, then reels Goto in. Goto resists the bomb lift, but Taichi powers through to LAST RIDE! High stack cover, TWO?!? Goto survives and Taichi can’t believe it! Taichi drags Goto up and Alabama lifts, but Goto fights out of that! Goto clubs away on Taichi’s back, blocks the Alabama lift again, and fans fire up as Goto hammers away over and over. Taichi breaks free to DECK Goto!

Taichi paces, drags Goto but Goto is dead weight. Fans rally up and Taichi drags Goto by his hair. Taichi stands Goto up but Goto blocks the forearm into a spin and suplex, SHOUTEN KAI!! Both men are down again and fans fire back up! Goto grits his teeth and rises again! Goto gets himself to ropes while Taichi sitrs. Goto drags himself to his feet, Taichi is in a daze but Goto powers up now. Taichi sits up into the BUZZSAW! But he pops right up to BOOT?! Goto forearms, Taichi mule kicks, Goto HEADBUTTS! Taichi is down but Goto shakes his head. Fans are thunderous again as Goto fires up and drags Taichi into the dragon sleeper!

Taichi slips out, Alabama lifts, but Goto escapes to dragon sleeper! Taichi gets out to ROUNDHOUSE! Taichi hooks the arms, TAICHI STYLE GEDO CLUTCH! TWO!!! Goto narrowly escapes and the fans are thunderous yet again! Taichi and Goto slowly rise, and Taichi goes to a corner. Taichi fires himself up, builds power and takes aim, but Goto blocks the kick! Goto fireman’s carries to G T W!!! Cover, TWO!?!?! Taichi survives and the fans are now electric! Goto isn’t done, he dragon sleepers to TRUE G T R!!! Cover, GOTO WINS!!

Winner: Hirooki Goto, by pinfall (advances to the next round)

The Sliest Wrestler took the fight to the Fierce Warrior, but he couldn’t overcome him! Goto gets a mic and speaks! “I will win the New Japan Cup! I will win that unified belt! Nothing else needs to be said. I will survive until the very brutal end, that’s it!!” Goto is a man of few words and is always direct! Will he be heading directly to the top of the tournament?


My Thoughts:

A very good event, but again I cut out matches that just didn’t feel as important. Suzuki-Gun continues to battle and brutalize Young Lions, but I did catch the part where Suzuki and Honma were arguing and slapping each other while ZSJ was trying to twist Gabriel Kidd apart. I skipped the Bullet Club match but again, Evil took the win there because he needs to go strong into his first NJCUP match this year. Evil won last year, he gets an unofficial bye this year, and his first opponent is Jeff Cobb, so he needs as much momentum as he can get for that.

Cobb helps the United Empire get the win tonight in a really fun Six Man, Evil jumps Cobb, that match is going to be good and there’s a good chance Evil cheats to win to head for a possible back-to-back win. That won’t happen, though, I think he’s running into Kazuchika Okada first since they’re on the same side of the bracket. Okada will win that, go to the finals, and we’ll see how that goes with a lot of great choices on the other side.

Yano VS Fale is becoming a great rivalry, and that was another creative and entertaining way to win. Yano’s KOPW trophy 3.0 needs to be a little heftier so it doesn’t break, and so it can look even more like Yano than this previous one. Goto VS Taichi was an incredible match for just the first round, and I’m a touch surprised Goto won. Taichi did keep things fair and square, so that’s part of it. Okada VS Takagi is tomorrow, and the winner of that faces Goto. Goto VS Okada would be an incredible match because of it being Chaos VS Chaos on top of everything.

My Score: 9/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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