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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/15/21)

It’s a GOLDEN Raw!

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Coverage Raw 2021

The Raw Tag Team and United States Championships are on the line!

Though Fastlane is just a week away, titles are on the line tonight! Will Matt Riddle still be WWE United States Champion? Or will Mustafa Ali shut him down?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Miz w/ John Morrison VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Naomi & Lana; Rose & Brooke win.
  • Raw Tag Team Championships: The Hurt Business VS The New Day; The New Day wins and become the new Raw Tag Team Champions.
  • WWE 24/7 Championship All Due Respect: Truth becomes the new WWE 24/7 Champion.
  • Damian Priest w/ Bad Bunny VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias; Priest wins.
  • Shane McMahon VS Braun Strowman; No Contest.
  • Asuka VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax; Asuka wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Mustafa Ali w/ Retribution; Riddle wins and retains the title.
  • Sheamus VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP; Lashley wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

BREAKING NEWS for WrestleMania!

Drew McIntyre WILL challenge Bobby Lashley for the WWE World Championship! But speaking of…

 

Bobby Lashley and MVP head to the ring!

The CEO of the Hurt Business, the current WWE Champion, and the All Mighty Rocky Mountain Machine is accompanied by Montel Vontavius Porter as he walks out with belt and crisp, new suit. They get mics to address the WWE Universe, “This is an official announcement from the Hurt Business.” Last week, a statement was made but not everyone got it so MVP will repeat it for you. “We have entered the All Mighty Era! After 16 YEARS of dedication and decimation, the CHO of the Hurt Business finally had an opportunity to take the WWE Championship.” And Lashley did!

Lashley has proven the haters, the naysayers and the doubters wrong by doing what he said he’d do. Lashley wasn’t given anything, he had to fight his way to this title. Lashley did that by destroying McIntyre at Elimination Chamber, and vows to do it again in the main event of WrestleMania! Then after McIntyre, Lashley will destroy everyone else on Raw and reign supreme! Right now, this is THE All Might Era! But here comes The Miz! He and John Morrison are here and Miz says, “Wow, Bobby. I should be preparing for my match with Drew McIntyre, but I had to come out here and say that speech was truly remarkable.”

Morrison says Lashley has a way with words. But they’re not here to steal the spotlight or the title, but to congratulates. They’re all in on the All Mighty Era! The branding and name are so powerful! Just like Lashley. These past two weeks, Miz was so proud to share the ring with him. It was an honor, really. But Miz would be lying if he were to think this budding rivalry was over. All the great rivalries had great final showdowns at WrestleMania! Hogan VS Andre! Bret VS Shawn! Rock VS Stone Cold! And it’s 3:16 Week and we’re all celebrating Steve Austin! If you wanna see The Miz and Bobby Lashley go 1v1 for the WWE Championship at WrestleMania, give Miz a hell yeah! AWW HELL YEAH! Only Morrison said that…

Miz is sure Lashley is thinking Miz has had his chance. But Lashley is a fair guy, and Miz isn’t going to diminish anything Lashley has done. But Miz defended his title twice in one night. And was suffering from gastrointestinal distress! Miz wasn’t 100%! Doesn’t Lashley want to face Miz at full strength? But here comes McIntyre! McIntyre storms right past Miz and Morrison as he glares right at Lashley. Lashley doesn’t move as McIntyre gets in the ring with him. McIntyre says “I’ve not had the chance to formally congratulate you.” A long time coming, with 16 years. But McIntyre had the same with 17 years waiting.

McIntyre knows about traveling those roads, “being the hardest workers in the room, and yet opportunities just kept  passing us by.” When everyone else is going to bed, these two work in the gym. Then neither of them i sin the WWE, they came back and scratched their ways up from the bottom to the top. And it feels so good to get hands on that title. But the only difference here, is McIntyre beat 30 other men, won the Royal Rumble, and BEAT BROCK LESNAR! MVP wants to talk but McIntyre cuts him off to say Lashley made a deal, screwed McIntyre over, and now he’s champion. Whatever it takes, right?

MVP says McIntyre needs to worry more about Sheamus. McIntyre says they’ve already beaten the hell out of each other. But wait why is MVP here? It used to make sense: MVP was the puppet master and Lashley was “Frankenstein’s monster,” with MVP talking for him. But Lashley proved he can talk for himself, he’s a champion now! Is MVP living vicariously through Lashley? Lashley says worry less about MVP and more about Lashley! Miz adds himself to that list, but no one takes that seriously. McIntyre forgot Miz was still here. McIntyre does owe Miz, though.

McIntyre gives Miz two options: McIntyre will turn around, finish talking to Lashley and A) Miz can attack, though not recommended, or B) run for his life. Because in their match, McIntyre will hurt Miz, make an example of him, then go to Fastlane to go to war with Sheamus, and then at Mania, McIntyre VS Lashley, no one over those two days will match this heavyweight clash! They will beat the hell out of each other, but McIntyre will end this era to regain his title from the “big bald bitch!” MVP keeps Lashley from fighting things out here and now, and the Hurt Business heads out. Miz says McIntyre should calm down. Lashley BLINDSIDES McIntyre off that minor distraction!

Lashley rains down fists, claws McIntyre’s face, then rains down more fists! Miz has a big smile on his face because his match with McIntyre… is NEXT! Miz rains down fists on McIntyre now that he’s been tenderized! But then SHEAMUS jumps Lashley!? The Celtic Warrior still feels he should’ve been in the title fight, will he and Lashley have something to settle here tonight?!

 

Raw returns with a backstage interview with Sheamus.

Why is it he attacked Bobby Lashley earlier? Sheamus wants to beat Drew McIntyre this Sunday, but not at 90% but at 100! Sheamus doesn’t want McIntyre to have excuses! He’s sick and tired of excuses! Lashley is messing in Sheamus’ business, so Sheamus wants a match with Lashley. Because after Sheamus beats McIntyre, he’ll even show us all now what McIntyre won’t be able to do at WrestleMania! Tonight, Sheamus shows us all who he really is as the Fella who beat Bobby Lashley!

 

The Miz w/ John Morrison VS Drew McIntyre!

The Hollywood A-Lister pounced on the damage done by Lashley, but will he only come to regret it now that McIntyre is even angrier?

The bell rings, Miz runs in and fires off on McIntyre in a corner! The ref counts, Miz lets off and McIntyre picks him up to RAM him into the opposite corner! McIntyre CHOPS and Miz falls to his knees! McIntyre bumps Miz off buckles, throws haymakers, then lets off as the ref counts. McIntyre stands Miz up to CHOP him, then suplexes to TOSS him across the way! McIntyre snarls as Miz goes to the other corner. McIntyre runs in but into an elbow! Miz throws haymakers back then kicks, but McIntyre shoves him away. Miz kicks McIntyre but McIntyre just glares at him. Miz runs into a GLASGOW KISS!

McIntyre drags Miz around to stomp him, then hauls him up into a corner for heavy hands! The ref counts, McIntyre reels Miz into a LARIAT! Miz bails out, Morrison protests but McIntyre drags Miz up into the ropes for an assisted camel clutch! “I WARNED YOU!” McIntyre lets off at the ref’s count and Miz crawls away. McIntyre drags Miz up at the ramp to throw into barriers! And CHOPS him again! McIntyre puts Miz in the ring at 5 of 10, but Morrison lurks. Morrison grabs at McIntyre’s foot but McIntyre glares at him. McIntyre goes back to Miz but Morrison throws his sunglasses at him? McIntyre just STOMPS the glasses!

Miz attacks from behind! Miz chokes McIntyre against ropes and digs his fingers into McIntyre’s face! The ref counts, Miz stops at 4 to RAM into McIntyre in the corner! And again, and again! Miz runs corner to corner, but McIntyre CLOBBERS him! McIntyre hauls Miz up to toss into a corner, and powers through the boot to elbow Miz! INVERTED ALABAMA SLAM! Miz staggers up, but Morrison drags him out of the ring to escape the Claymore! The ref tells McIntyre to stay back and he reprimands Morrison. Morrison argues so the ref EJECTS Morrison! The Guru of Greatness is furious but Miz is all alone as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and McIntyre fires off hands in the corner! McIntyre whips Miz corner to corner, then scoops him on the rebound. Miz slips off, shoves McIntyre to a corner, but McIntyre stops from hitting buckles., Miz kicks a leg out, and basement DDT’s! Cover, ONE!! Miz keeps on McIntyre but no Finale just yet! McIntyre arm-drags free to rally with clotheslines! McIntyre whips and OVERHEAD SUPLEXES Miz! Then gets him in a corner for another OVERHEAD SUPLEX! Fans are fired up on their ThunderDome screens as McIntyre hits a NECKBREAKER! McIntyre kips up, throws Miz out, and then follows him.

McIntyre RAMS Miz into barriers, RAMS him into the apron, and repeat! McIntyre SLAPS Miz, refreshes the ring count, and then has Miz by the steps. McIntyre dribbles Miz’s head off those steps! McIntyre says Miz should’ve taken option B of running away. McIntyre puts Miz in the ring, stalks him, spins him around and hits FUTURE SHOCK!! But McIntyre won’t cover, because he’s not done hurting Miz! McIntyre aims from a corner again, skips the countdown and hits the CLAYMORE!! Cover, or not? McIntyre must not feel Miz has had enough yet. McIntyre sits Miz up and points to the camera then the WrestleMania sign. HE USES THE HURT LOCK!!! Miz taps, McIntyre wins!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by submission

The Scottish Warrior sends a direct message to the Rocky Mountain Machine! But he’s on to Fastlane and the Fella, will it end up a roadblock on the Road to WrestleMania?

 

Damian Priest and Bad Bunny walk backstage.

They talk about Bunny’s Grammy performance and Grammy win, and look ready for the Archer of Infamy’s match later tonight. Will Priest make sure Jaxson Ryker and Elias are singing the blues tonight?

 

Raw returns with Braun Strowman already in the ring.

The Monster Among Men DEMANDS Shane McMahon show himself after the antics from last week. Shane O’Mac does appear, and he says being on stage is close enough. he senses hostility coming from Braun, and has no idea why. But Braun keeps demanding things. Braun says he’s been bullied by smartasses like Shane just for not going to a fancy Ivy League school. But none of that makes Shane smarter than Braun! Shane says he would never make fun of another man, he means that. Not another human being, never. Well Shane apologized to Braun but we all know that McMahons don’t apologize for anything.

Braun knows Shane wanted to confront Braun but got scared and mumbled around because his mouth was going to write a check his ass couldn’t cash. Well Shane wants to know what’s going on in Braun’s mind. Actually, Shane knows inside, Braun’s brain is flatlining. Braun says Shane doesn’t have the guts to say what he wants! He’s afraid of what Braun can do! Shane doesn’t have the balls to challenge Braun to a match so Braun challenges Shane instead! Shane says Braun couldn’t handle Shane! Now he knows Braun is stupid! He looks stupid, acts stupid, definitely sounds stupid. And the sayings are true: stupid is as stupid does. Braun IS stupid! The T-Rex is extinct because it was too dumb!

IS SHANE GOING TO ANSWER THE CHALLENGE OR NOT!? Well then if you want brains VS Braun, you’re one! Is Shane actually facing the Monster Among Men in a straight-up match?! Braun says Shane’s dad can’t save him from this! Or is Shane going to have a trick up his sleeve?

 

Mandy Rose, Dana Brooke, Naomi & Lana talk backstage.

But then in barges R-Truth! Or is it Stone Cold Truth? Can I get a hell yeah? It’s 3:16. Austin 3:16, that is. But today is the 15th. What? Nevermind all that. Y’all want a drink? No, they have a match next. Your loss! Truth CHUGS the Steveweiser! That’s the bottom line, cuz R-Truth said so! All that aside, will the #SexyMuscleFriends be the ones to #FeeltheRavishingGlow?

 

Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax head to the ring!

The Queen of Spades may have a match with the Empress of Tomorrow later tonight, but she and the Irresistible Force want to keep on eye on WWE Women’s Tag Division contenders! Will they have a part to play in the match we’re about to see?

 

Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Naomi & Lana!

Raw returns and the WWE Women’s Tag Champions join commentary as Team Flex Appeal make their entrance. Then the Ravishing Glow makes their entrance, adding glow sticks to the routine! The teams sort out, Naomi starts with Dana and they tie up. Dana headlocks, Naomi powers out but Dana runs her over. Dana speeds things up, Naomi dodges and slides to elbow Dana! Mandy tags in as Naomi spins Dana to ROUNDHOUSE! Naomi mule kicks Mandy, runs but Mandy catches her for a FALL AWAY SLAM! Mandy stomps Naomi, drags her up and bumps her off buckles. Mandy stomps a mudhole, tags Dana, and Dana runs to handspring and back elbow!

Tag to Mandy, and they snapmare Naomi for Mandy’s RUNNING KNEE! Cover, TWO! Mandy drags Naomi away, puts her in the corner and fires off forearms! The ref counts, Mandy tags Dana then scoop slams Naomi! Dana runs in to handspring SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Dana keeps Naomi down with a chinlock but Lana rallies for her. Naomi endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Naomi reaches, Dana pulls her in and back suplexes, But Naomi lands on her feet to JAWBREAKER! Mandy tags in but so does Lana! Lana dodges Mandy, comes back to tilt-o-whirl and Russian Leg Sweep! Lana DECKS Dana to run in and hits a takedown! Another takedown!

Mandy reverses the whip, runs in but into an ax kick! Lana runs and BULLDOGS! Lana fires up and Nia is confused where this is coming from as Lana runs to KNEE Mandy against ropes! Lana reels Mandy in for a RAVISHING AWAKENING! Cover, Dana breaks it! Naomi gets in but Dana whips her away, and the Sexy Muscle Friends DOUBLE FLAPJACK Naomi! Lana KICKS Dana down but Mandy ROCKS Lana! Mandy snap suplexes, but here comes Asuka?! The Raw Women’s Champion might want after Shayna early! Shayna figures to return the favor and let Nia hold both belts. The Queen of Spades rushes the Empress, but the Empress is ready to HEEL KICK Shayna!

Asuka fires off on Shayna on the ramp, WWE officials rush out to stop this! Pat Buck, Adam Pearce and Jamie Noble have their hands full, but Nia only halfheartedly thinks about helping Shayna. Mandy rolls Lana, TWO!! Lana waistlocks, Mandy fights it, Dana tags in! O’Conner roll turns into a BOOT! Mandy underhooks but Lana fights it to hit the FACEBUSTER! Dana runs in to ROLLING NECKBREAKER!! Cover, the Sexy Muscle Friends win!!

Winners: Dana Brooke & Mandy Rose, by pinfall

Dana stares Nia down but Nia is just confused. Will the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions have a busier Road to WrestleMania than they thought?

 

The New Day talk backstage when Matt Riddle rolls up!

The Bro says they just missed his sweet 360 he did! He dropped in off a ramp, but anyway, he raced here to wish them luck in the Raw Tag Team Championship match against the Hurt Business! They thank Riddle, and compliment the great steed that is the scooter. But it is about ya bois the NEW~ DAY~ once again claiming their spot atop the mountain, babyyyy~! And then they can all ride off into the sunset after Riddle deals with Mustafa Ali! Ugh, he’s the worst.

Riddle says that’s a great point. But hey, that could be the beginning! There are endless possibilities, like matching tattoos and all you can eat pancakes. Pancakes, sure, but tattoos are a bit match. Right, sorry, that was more a jumping off point. Then what about matching scooters to ride off into said sunset? Now that is an idea! Riddle gives the New Day their secret handshakes for luck, will it work out for the currently 10-time tag team champions?

Raw Tag Team Championships: The Hurt Business VS The New Day!

Raw returns as the Hurt Business make their entrance. With MVP surely keeping Bobby Lashley cool for his match with Sheamus later, Cedric Alexander & Shelton Benjamin go to the ring alone. The introductions are made, the tag titles are raised, and this battle so close to Fastlane begins!

Xavier Woods and Cedric Alexander start and circle. They tie up, Alexander gets a foot for a takedown and a toehold. Woods counters with a chinlock, but Alexander fights up so it becomes a headlock. Alexander wrenches out to keylock the arm and he talks trash. Woods slips around, headlocks again, but Alexander brings Woods down to a knee. Alexander steps over to headlock but Woods powers out, only for Alexander to run him over. Things speed up, Woods hurdles and rolls back to hurdle again. Alexander shoves Woods, switches roles to hurdle, but Woods waistlocks! Alexander fights to a switch, but Woods victory rolls! TWO, and Woods arm-drags Alexander to an armlock!

Alexander endures, fights up, but Woods wrenches to whip him to the corner. Woods forearms, Kofi tags in and says, “GET OVER HERE!” UPPERCUT! But Alexander mule kicks back hard! Kofi catches Alexander with a leg clutch cradle, TWO! Alexander CLOBBERS Kofi, Benjamin tags in. Hurt Business whips Kofi to a corner, Alexander monkey flips Kofi into a SPINEBUSTER from Benjamin! Cover, TWO! Benjamin drags Kofi up, and reels him in for a LARIAT! Benjamin KNEES Woods down for good measure! Benjamin drags Kofi up, scoop slams then scoops again for another slam! Benjamin drags Kofi up to knee low, then whip Kofi into the corner.

Benjamin tags Alexander, Alexander digs his knee in but the ref counts. Benjamin gets away with throwing Woods into steel steps! Alexander drags Kofi up, CHOPS him, then tags Benjamin. The Hurt Business double whip Kofi to ropes, elbow him down then basement dropkick! Cover, TWO! Woods crawls his way to his corner but Benjamin tags Alexander in. Benjamin bumps Kofi off buckles, Alexander RAMS his shoulder in and RAMS again! Alexander puts Kofi up top, throws forearms, but Kofi hits back! Kofi ROCKS Alexander, leaps up and STOMPS him down! Both men are down, crawl for their corners, hot tag to Woods!

Woods rallies on Alexander, hits Benjamin, then whips Alexander. Alexander reverses but Woods dodges to shove and LEG LARIAT! Benjamin gets in but gets thrown to ropes, for a ROLLING ELBOW! Woods puts Alexander on ropes with a drop toehold, runs to dropkick him in the back! Woods suplexes but Alexander fights that to suplex. Woods fights that, wrench and ELBOW! Alexander bails out but Kofi gets in. The New Day run to DIVE, but the Hurt Business was ready! Alexander THROWS Woods over the desk, Benjamin RAMS Kofi into steel steps! The New Day is down as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Alexander fires off hands on Woods! Alexander eggs Woods on but Woods throws forearms back! They go back and forth, forearm for forearm, and Woods ROCKS Alexander! Alexander ROCKS Woods back! Alexander runs but into a forearm from Woods! Woods runs but into a clothesline from Alexander! Alexander runs again but Woods forearms even harder! Woods runs but Alexander CLOBBERS him! Alexander fakes Woods to knee him low. “You are not ready!” Alexander whips, scoops and MICHINOKU DRIVERS! Cover, TWO!! Woods survives and Alexander is shocked! Benjamin shouts to Alexander about Kofi and Alexander BOOTS Kofi down!

Alexander turns to Woods but Woods SUPERKICKS him! Both men are down, Kofi returns to his corner, Woods and Alexander crawl. Hot tags to Benjamin and Kofi! Kofi leaps in and over, blocks a kick but gets the DRAGON WHIP! Cover, TWO! Benjamin puts Kofi in a corner, whips him corner to corner, but Kofi goes up and up and FLYING RANAS! Then STOMPS Benjamin down! Cover, TWO!! Kofi keeps on Benjamin but Benjamin shoves him away to pop him up for a FREE FALL! Then swings, into the SOS!! Cover, TWO!! Benjamin survives again but Kofi steadies himself. Kofi goes to a corner, powers up with the “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” clap. Kofi spins, but Benjamin ducks!

Benjamin runs in but into a boot! Kofi goes to the apron, ROCKS Benjamin, then goes up top. Benjamin springs right up for a SUPER ARM-DRAG! Cover, Woods breaks it! Alexander runs in but is put on the apron! GAMANGIRI! Woods steps in, FLYING TORNADO DDT!! Kofi sees that, Benjamin rolls him up! Kofi slips free, and hits TROUBL EIN PARADISE! Tag to Woods, he goes up and tightropes, while Kofi FLIES to take Alexander out! LIMIT BREAKER!! Woods isn’t done there, he tags Kofi back in! They combine for DAYBREAK!! Cover, the New Day wins!!

Winners: The New Day, by pinfall (NEW Raw Tag Team Champions)

They are back on top of the tag team division for the ELEVENTH TIME!! Are they going to take these titles all the way to WrestleMania?

But wait! AJ Styles appears? Him, and Omos. The New Day remember Omos giving Woods perhaps the biggest choke slam ever, and now Omos and Styles are going to the ring. Styles congratulates them but says that’s all they’re here for. Congratulations on another tag team title victory! How many times has it been? Who cares. But just in time for WrestleMania is great! Styles and Omos are currently without plans for Mania. Crazy, huh? Now, Styles has been WWE Champion, Intercontinental, United States Champion, and even faced The Undertaker! But his bucket list is getting short. Omos had a great idea! Omos says he and Styles should be Raw Tag Team Champions!

But they’re not a tag team! They are now! And this man has been like a little brother to Styles. Omos will shine and jaws will drop! Do you have any idea what is in store when Omos gets in the ring? Omos says Woods already knows. But then, if the New Day haven’t put it together, these two are officially challenging them for the W, W, E, Raw, Tag, Team, CHAMPIONSHIPS~… at WrestleMania! Kofi gets a mic to say, “First and foremost, are y’all to even registered?” Yes. “Secondly, do you even know how to work as a team? And third…” Woods says if the big man wants his match, he’s got it! This is phenomenal news! Kofi says Omos needs to get him some gear, but this is going to happen! Is Omos’ first match going to be for gold?!

 

Miz and Morrison are backstage.

Morrison complains about the ref that ejected him, but they run across Priest & Bad Bunny. Priest says Miz looks a little… What is that word? Awful? Yeah that’s it. And Miz has been looking worse and worse since losing the WWE Championship. Wait Miz was champion? Way to kick a man when he’s down. Miz may not be WWE Champion or Mr. MITB, but he’s still The Miz! What have Bunny ever done? Grammys? Platinum records? The WWE 24/7 Championship? That’s nothing compared to what Miz has done! NADA! Miz beat John Cena, is the star of the Marine Franchise, and the ONLY TWO TIME GRAND SLAM CHAMPION!!

And Priest is off to a great start, sure. But what has he won? What awards does he have? True, Priest will need time to do what Miz has done. But how about starting right now? Miz and Morrison say it’s started, but they still head out. And then Truth sneaks up with a lunchbox! Priest sees him and Truth stops. It isn’t what it looks like. Well it looks like you were sneaking up on them. Right, and it’s not that. Truth has gifts! It’s 3:16 day! Here’s a limited edition Stone Cold doll, and a limited edition Stone Cold title belt! Here hold this. This is the Austin 3:16 lunch box! Put your Grammy in there! Truth gives those to Bunny, and Bunny asks what Truth wants. Well uh… The 24/7 title?

Oh, right, of course. Bunny and Priest talk about it in Spanish, and the decision is… As much as they respect Truth and the business, Truth does deserve to have “his baby” back. They can trade. Bunny keeps the Stone Cold title and he hands the 24/7 title over to Truth! But remember, what’s his name? Bad Bunny.

Truth is the NEW WWE 24/7 Champion

But then the chase is on!! Gulak, Carrillo and others chase Truth backstage! Will Truth be able to keep his baby through the night?

 

Damian Priest w/ Bad Bunny VS Jaxson Ryker w/ Elias!

Raw returns as The Drifter and his follower are already in the ring. While Elias couldn’t make Priest #DriftAway, will Ryker make Priest accept that WWE will #WalkWithElias?

The bell rings and Ryker rushes Priest with heavy hands! Ryker gets Priest in a corner, lets off to bring him out, but Priest blocks the suplex. Priest suplexes for the BROKEN ARROW! Priest fires up, drags Ryker up, HIT THE LIGHTS!! Cover, Priest wins!!

Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall

But Elias attacks! Elias stomps Priest, then goes out to grab his guitar! Bunny gets in to grab the guitar from him! Elias grabs Bunny, scoops him, but Bunny slips out to ROCK Elias! Priest gets back up and snarls, dodges a haymaker to BELL CLAP, and HIT THE LIGHTS!! Bunny got his shot in and Priest is impressed. Will these two party hard on the Road to WrestleMania?

Wait, John Morrison returns to try and join in on the celebration. “You guys are good!” He says they’re a real team! But then Miz gets Elias’ guitar and SMASHES Bunny!! Miz and Morrison run away and Priest is shocked! Priest wants to tear into Miz and Morrison, but will he get that opportunity tonight?

 

Backstage interview with the Hurt Business.

MVP shouts that the All Mighty Era has begun! And he will be DAMNED if Sheamus thinks he can blindside the WWE Champion and try to embarrass him. Sheamus wants McIntyre at 100 for Fastlane? After tonight, Sheamus won’t be 100% for Fastlane! The exact same thing that happens to Sheamus tonight will happen to McIntyre at WrestleMania. They leave it at that, but will it be far from that easy against the Celtic Warrior?

 

Shane McMahon VS Braun Strowman!

Well, well, well. Shane O’Mac is actually battling the Monster Among Men! Shane waits in the ring as “BRAAAUN!” makes his entrance. Braun is all but salivating to get at Shane but then Shane gets out of the ring to get a mic and speak. “Oh it’s happening, Braun, you just gotta give me a second.” Shane doesn’t perform every week, he needs a warm up. Shane does some steps, some push-ups, then some jumping jacks. Braun says he’s just delaying the ass whooping. Shane says this is for Braun, because talking about going back to the schoolyard. Shane has a hopscotch set up? He hops and tells Braun this can help him count.

Braun rushes out after Shane, but it’s a cat ‘n’ mouse game as Shane scurries all around, in and out of the ring. But Braun catches him!! And he drags Shane out hard! Braun RAMS Shane into barriers, then ROCKS him with a right hand! And BOOTS him into more barriers! “Who’s stupid now, Shane?!” Braun told Shane he’d regret running his mouth, and then speaking of running, Braun builds up speed! The Strowman Express come sin, but Shane USES A CAMERA TO CLOBBER him! Shane SMACKS Braun on the back with the camera! Now Shane’s fire up because he has Braun on the ground! Shane kicks Braun around, throws body shots, then SMASHES Him with the camera to the head!!

Shane clears off the announce desk, keeps the camera close, and SMASHES Braun again! Braun falls back onto the desk, Shane goes to the corner, and in true Shane O’Mac fashion, he climbs up top! COAST2COAST THROUGH THE TABLE!! Both men are down but Shane is laughing at Braun! Shane gets in Braun’s face as he calls him stupid, but Shane has more in store! Shane has buckets of something under the ring? He brings one over and sits Shane up, so he can dump GREEN SLIME on him! Is this Nickelodeon or something? Or some kind of Shrek joke? “Stupid is as stupid does, Braun!”

Shane gets the other bucket of green slime and he DUMPS it out Braun! Shane says Braun is to NEVER challenge him to a match again! Braun sputters as Shane walks away, leaving him behind in the goopy mess. Has Shane humiliated Braun into being humble? Or is the Monster Among Men only going to be like the Incredible Hulk from all that green slime? “I’M GONNA RIP YOU IN HALF!” That answers that… Will Braun smash puny Shane the next time they meet?

 

Raw returns to Alexa’s Playground.

Alexa Bliss says it’s time for her favorite game! Truth or Inflicting Pain! Is that like Truth or Dare…? Alexa says if Randy Orton wanted her out of her life, he has to take her out. Sunday at Fastlane is his chance. Is he going to take it? Alexa laughs and swings, but will the Viper attempt to strike?

 

Asuka VS Shayna Baszler w/ Nia Jax!

The Empress finally returns after getting kicked so hard, she lost a tooth and a tag match. But with the Queen of Spades and Irresistible Force trying to take over more of the Women’s Division, will Asuka kick them to the curb this close to Fastlane?

Raw returns as the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions enter. Shayna gets in the ring and Asuka is right after her! Nia get sin but gets a CODE BREKER! ROUNDHOUSE for Shayna, SLIDING WIZARD for Nia! Asuka is all fired up and Shayna wants the match! The bell rings and Asuka hip attacks Shayna into the corner! Asuka fires off, snap suplexes Shayna, then hip attacks Nia off the apron! Asuka elbows Shayna away, boots her, then runs, only to miss! Shayna KNEES Asuka in the mouth! Asuka clutches her jaw but no tooth went flying this time. Shayna KICKS Asuka down, but Asuka eggs her on. Shayna rains down fists, Asuka turns it around to hit back!

Asuka gets an arm but Shayna holds off the armbar. Nia gets on the apron again but Asuka baseball slides her, then BOOTS her into the post! Asuka talks trash to Nia but Shayna gets the KIRAFUDA!! Asuka slips out to ASUKA LOCK!! Shayna switches back, KIRAFUDA, but Asuka rolls it back to a cover! ASUKA WINS!!

Winner: Asuka, by pinfall

Shayna holds on until Asuka fades out! Shayna takes aim, kicks but Asuka BLOCKS! Asuka has the leg, reels Shayna in, and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Asuka fires up, gives Shayna Kowata Kicks and a BUZZSAW! Asuka drags Shayna back up, gets her arms and SURFBOARD STMOPS Shayna into buckles!! Asuka undoes a buckle pad, she wants this one to hurt! Asuka drags Shayna back with a neck wrench, takes the mouth guard away, and drags Shayna back up, to JAM HER JAW into the steel!! Asuka stands on Shayna’s head, the ref tells her to let off but what does it matter when the match is over? Asuka sits Shayna up, surfboards the arms, but the ref gets in between Shayna and buckle!

The ref asks Asuka what’s going on with her, but Asuka asks, “What’s the problem?!” For Asuka, it is eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, but hasn’t gotten her satisfaction yet. Will the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions reconsider going after the Empress?

 

Mustafa Ali shouts at Retribution backstage.

He is growing tired of failure after failure! Tonight, Ali will right their wrongs by becoming- Is that Riddle zipping by on his scooter? Will Ali not only make Riddle pay for the sins of WWE, but for interrupting his less than encouraging rally cry?

 

BREAKING NEWS!

After Shane used mind games and green slime to mess with Braun, he’ll have to step up and face the Monster Among Men in a match at Fastlane! Will Sunday be when Braun #GetsTheseHands on Shane and makes him pay?

 

WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Mustafa Ali w/ Retribution!

It took The Bro many tries to finally get this title off the Rocky Mountain Machine, so he won’t let it go so easily. But the Beacon says the Retribution is done failing, so will he succeed in shutting down Riddle’s reign?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and golden redemption could be at hand!

Riddle and Ali circle, Ali shows knuckle lock but kicks low and throws uppercuts! Ali tells Retribution that’s how it’s done but Riddle CHOPS back! Ali throws a forearm but Riddle blocks the whip. Ali kicks low, throws more haymakers, then whips. Riddle reverses, gut wrench suplexes Ali, and glares as Ali scrambles away. Riddle runs in to PENALTY KICK Ali out of the ring! Riddle goes out to fetch Ali but Ali throws Riddle into the corner of the announce desk! Riddle sputters and coughs, Ali gets in the ring but Riddle gets in, only for Ali to KICK him down! Retribution enjoys seeing that as Ali snarls.

Ali runs but into Riddle’s headscissors! They go to the apron, Riddle kicks Ali then stands up. But Ali throat chops and hits a FLYING NECKBREAKER to the floor! Both men writhe as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns and Ali throws hands with Riddle! Ali knees low, uppercuts hard, then chokes Riddle on ropes with his boot! The ref counts, Ali stops but then digs his boot back in! The ref counts again, Ali backs off and hauls Riddle up. Ali whips corner to corner, then runs to NECKBREAKER again! Cover, TWO! Riddle is still in this, but Ali taunts him. Ali drags Riddle up to elbow him down, then again. Riddle goes to a corner and CHOPS back! And CHOPS again! Ali ROCKS Riddle, whips him corner to corner again, but Riddle reverses! Ali slides to a stop, slips out and Riddle hits buckles! Ali drags Riddle out, spins him around and tuck shim under the apron skirt to fire off forearms!

Ali lets Riddle out, somersaults and NECKBREAKERS again! Cover, TWO!! Riddle survives again but Ali clamps on with a chinlock. Riddle endures, fights up, and throws body shots. Fans rally on their screens, Riddle powers up and back drops, but Ali sunset flips! Riddle rolls through to PENALTY KICK Ali down again! ALi gets up but Riddle fires off slapping palm strikes! Riddle boots, spins Ali and PELES! Riddle kips up, runs in and forearm smashes! Riddle hits a BROSPLODER! Then the BROTON! Riddle dead lifts to the FISHERMAN BUSTER! Cradle, TWO!! Riddle grits his teeth as he fires back up.

Ali crawls, Riddle reels him in with a waistlock, ripcords but Ali blocks the knee to WHEEL KICK!  Ali brings Riddle up but Riddle ROUNDHOUSES! Riddle O’Conner rolls but T-Bar distracts! Ali turns it around, Retribution tells the ref to look, TWO!! Riddle gets Ali in a sleeper, then shifts to dragon sleeper, inverted suplex, and the BRO DEREK!! Cover, Riddle wins!!

Winner: Matt Riddle, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

Retribution tried to help their leader but that might’ve cost him! Riddle says maybe the others can get their turn next. Ali is furious, but is he going to go from shutting it down to melting down?

 

Backstage interview with Randy Orton.

What is his reaction to Alexa’s challenge for Fastlane? His reaction to a match challenge for Fastlane? Correct him if he’s wrong, but Orton is pretty sure Alexa dared him to kick her out of his life. That is EXACTLY what Orton will do! Is the Viper going to be very, very literal this Sunday?

 

Drew McIntyre heads back to ringside!

The Scottish Warrior wants to watch this main event very closely, because both men are on his hit list! McIntyre smiles because either way, he’ll be watching Sheamus and Lashley beat the hell out of each other, after the break!

 

BREAKING NEWS!

The Raw Tag Team Championship match for WrestleMania will be phenomenal! AJ Styles & Omos ARE getting their shot at the titles against the New Day, but will it be as colossal as Omos?

 

Raw returns, and Drew McIntyre speaks.

“Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘Damn, it’s good to see that handsome Scottish devil again.’ But also, ‘Drew, it’s been over two hours. Why haven’t you showered and changed?'” McIntyre says this is what he wears all the time now. He saves tons on shirts and underwear. But also, he’s been watching the show. McIntyre was paying attention to some little details, and he heard those guarantees MVP was making. Guaranteeing something is so dangerous in this business, because if you make one and you don’t deliver, fans get upset and sparks fly. 

But McIntyre makes a guarantee right now: At Fastlane, McIntyre and Sheamus will bring a level of physicality like we’ve never seen before! These two have been doing it 20 years as friends, but NO DQ took it to the next level. And Fastlane being the last stop before Mania, Sheamus wants to take him out. Ain’t happening. McIntyre promises to beat the hell out of Sheamus, stand tall and go to Mania to take back the title. But McIntyre’s out here because he wants to see this main event close up. McIntyre is going to have a first-hand view of what’s happening. “So get yer asses out here, lads.”

Sheamus VS Bobby Lashley w/ MVP!

First out is the real-life Titan, the All Mighty WWE World Champion, as well as MVP. McIntyre doesn’t even leave the ring yet, so he and Lashley get another stare down. Then the Celtic Warrior makes his entrance and McIntyre gets himself a chair. Raw takes another break, but will we return to see one man break the other?

Raw returns again, the bell rings, and McIntyre is actually sitting on the ramp side. Sheamus runs in, Lashley picks Sheamus up to RAM him into the corner and fire off hands! The ref tries to get Lashley away but MVP says there’s a five count to use. Lashley backs off but Sheamus goes on the attack now! Sheamus puts Lashley in buckles, fires off, and the ref has to stop him now! Sheamus lets off, Lashley picks him up for a SPINEBUSTER! Lashley and Sheamus scrap, Lashley goes after Sheamus with elbows and then grinding forearms! Sheamus sits up but into a chinlock. MVP shouts this is what Sheamus wanted as Lashley puts him in a corner.

The ref tries to back Lashley off again as he and Sheamus trade forearms. Lashley stomps, whips and runs in, but Sheamus elbows Lashley from the corner. Sheamus runs, Lashley hurdles and CLOBBERS Sheamus! Lashley is seething as he chokes Sheamus on the ropes. The ref counts, Lashley lets off at 4, then he hauls Sheamus up. Lashley stares McIntyre down as he suplexes Sheamus. Sheamus slips out to CHOP BLOCK, then CLUB and drop knees on Lashley over and over! Sheamus clamps on, wanting after arms. Lashley resists but Sheamus claws Lashley’s face! The ref reprimands and counts but Sheamus stops at 4 to drive elbows in over and over!

Sheamus knees and CLUBS Lashley more, MVP coaches Lashley up to get mad, and Lashley elbows away the clinch. Lashley blocks a kick to spin and elbow, then kick low! Lashley again glares at McIntyre as he suplexes Sheamus up, holds him for a few seconds, then SLAMS him down! Lashley clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring! MVP taunts Sheamus while Lashley stares down McIntyre. McIntyre is stoic as Sheamus gets on the apron. Lashley knees Sheamus down, goes out to bring Sheamus around the way, and has him right in front of Sheamus as he fireman’s’ carries. But Sheamus slips off to shove Lashley, only for Lashley to stop from hitting post!

Lashley elbows Sheamus, POSTS him, and pushes him into the ring at 8 of 10! Sheamus KICKS Lashley in the ropes, stomps him and clubs him! Sheamus lets off for a moment before he stands Lashley up for forearms to the back! Then Sheamus stands Lashley up for Beats of the Bodhrain! Lashley blocks and elbows back! Sheamus CLOBBERS Lashley off the apron! Lashley stands up but Sheamus pursues. MVP warns Lashley and he catches the flying lariat for an EXPLODER! Lashley stares McIntyre down but MVP keeps things from breaking down. The ring count is climbing, Lashley fetches Sheamus and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns once more and Lashley leans on Sheamus with a neck wrench. Sheamus endures, Lashley puts more pressure as he digs a knuckle into Sheamus’ head! Sheamus pries a hand away but Lashley knocks Sheamus down! Lashley drags Sheamus up to throw him out, then drags Sheamus up to RAM him into barriers! And then RAM him into the barriers again! The ring count passes 5, Lashley bumps Sheamus off the apron and gets in at 8. Lashley throws elbows into Sheamus in the corner over and over, but the ref has him back off. Lashley again glares at McIntyre, runs corner to corner at Sheamus and RAMS into him again!

Lashley throws more elbows, then tells McIntyre this one is for him. Lashley runs corner to corner, but Sheamus moves and Lashley POSTS himself!! Sheamus goes out after Lashley, drags him up, and gets the arm for an ARMBAR DDT! The ring count is 5 of 10 already, Sheamus puts Lashley in at 7 and climbs up at 8! FLYING LARIAT! Cover, ONE!?! Sheamus is on the arm and Lashley endures the hold. Sheamus adds a chinbar, drives his elbow in over and over, but MVP coaches Lashley up. Lashley fights to his feet, throws forearms, then kicks low. Lashley whips, Sheamus holds ropes then baits Lashley in to toss him out!

Sheamus catches his breath while Lashley climbs up onto the apron. Sheamus hotshots Lashley down! Lashley slowly stands up again but Sheamus throws body shots! Sheamus turns Lashley around for Beats of the Bodhrain! Sheamus gets all 10, then brings Lashley in for an IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Cover, ONE?!? Lashley is superhuman but Sheamus hits another IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Sheamus gets the legs, ties them up, and it isn’t just a Cloverleaf but a twisted Sharpshooter! Lashley powers up, fights with kicks, and manages to SPINNING POWERSLAM Sheamus down!! Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survives but Lashley keeps on him.

Lashley reels Sheamus in for a LARIAT! McIntyre’s focus is unwavering as Lashley drags Sheamus back up. Lashley whips, Sheamus kicks him back! Sheamus runs but the Brogue misses! Lashley wants the full nelson but Sheamus elbows free! Sheamus swings, into a COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO! MVP says this is almost over, and Lashley drags Sheamus up. Lashley puts Sheamus on the top rope, climbs up to join him, and MVP wants Lashley to end Sheamus! SUPERPLEX! Both men crash down and McIntyre likes what he sees. Lashley aims from a corner as Sheamus rises, and Lashley runs in, into a KNEE! Sheamus hauls Lashley up for WHITE NOISE! Cover, TWO!!

Sheamus and Lashley go to opposite corners. Sheamus rises up and calls his shot, but Lashley SPEARS!! Cover, Lashley wins!!

Winner: Bobby Lashley, by pinfall

In the blink of an eye, the All Mighty turned things around on Sheamus! And now he puts Sheamus in the HURT LOCK! McIntyre gets on the apron, gets in the ring as Lashley throws Sheamus aside, and now Lashley dares McIntyre to do something. Sheamus stumbles into MVP and that distracts Lashley, McIntyre CLAYMORES Lashley down!! That’s for punking McIntyre out at Elimination Chamber! McIntyre promises that is just a taste of WrestleMania! But McIntyre promises Sheamus that the two of them will give the fans a match we’ll never forget! If so, who will be the one we always remember winning at Fastlane 2021?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw and a great go-home! There was great build for what we’re getting at Fastlane but also a lot more for WrestleMania. Officially establishing that McIntyre is challenging Lashley for the title seems a bit easy, but it at least means WWE is going to commit for the next month. The world title story was pretty strong tonight, with Miz having one last bit part before he and Morrison solidly move back towards the feud with Priest and Bad Bunny. McIntyre gets a strong win to go into his match with Sheamus, and we just saw Sheamus VS Lashley tear it up in the ring. McIntyre VS Sheamus in another match for Fastlane is going to be great, but I can only see McIntyre winning that.

Speaking of that transition for Miz and Morrison back to Priest and Bunny, Priest gets a very fast win over Ryker, but then Miz gets the drop on Bunny with that guitar hit. Bunny did a good job selling that shot, the build to the tag match for Mania looks pretty good already. And it was interesting timing with Bunny handing over the WWE 24/7 Championship back to Truth. I guess that was just the easiest way to get the title off Bunny, and Truth was very clever with his Austin 3:16 shtick. Maybe Truth confronts Miz about that on Raw Talk tonight.

Braun VS Shane not happening here at all was actually a very clever way to keep things going. Shane kinda recycled his promo material, but him smashing Braun with a camera, hitting his favorite elbow table spot and then bringing out slime was all very good stuff for this. Their match happening “for real” at Fastlane is an interesting move, but maybe it’s so Braun can have a bigger (and younger) opponent for WrestleMania. I still hope Shane is going to give the nod to Dabba-Kato/Babatunde since Raw Underground was ended so abruptly and we never got all that much to Braun VS Kato at the time.

The New Day VS Hurt Business was a great tag team title match, and it’s pretty big for New Day to get those titles back. I’m surprised Styles and Omos are calling New Day out for Mania, but again the problem with Raw is the shallow tag division. Styles is just missing tag titles in order to be a Grand Slam Champion, but I don’t know if Omos in his debut, and at WrestleMania, is going to take the titles off the 11-time, record-setting New Day. Riddle was great with that scooter, especially interrupting Ali backstage. The match for the US Championship was pretty good, and we got glimpses of Ali from when he was on 205 Live. But of course Retribution is why Ali loses, and we’re getting ever closer to some sort of break-up.

We got good stuff out of the Women’s Division, especially with Asuka’s return. Asuka getting at Shayna during the tag match was good stuff, and it was quite the surprise that Mandy & Dana won. Naomi & Lana were kinda wasted in their tag title shot and it feels like Raw is going to put up the #SexyMuscleFriends for what I am still hoping is a Triple Threat for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships. Asuka beating up Shayna and Nia in her return match was great stuff, this is the Asuka that we needed to come back. She must again be the wild terror that tears into opponents. There are almost too many choices on Raw to face Asuka, but let her go on a new streak against them all, even working twice on Mania weekend.

My Score: 8.7/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/26/24)

It’s Draft Day!

Published

on

And with the first overall pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects…

The WWE Draft returns for 2024, the first four rounds being right here on Friday Night SmackDown! With champions protected, who ends up where to challenge them?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo; Rey & Dragon win.
  • Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander; Bron wins.
  • WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton; No Contest.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes; Cody wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Kayla Braxton is with the Wise Man and says that here on night one of the Draft, there are already rumors circulating, including those about The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. Heyman will clarify these are not rumors regarding The Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns. These are facts! Ladies and gentlemen, Your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, has voluntarily withdrawn from eligibility for this year’s Draft. That is not a negative but a positive. Who built SmackDown since the Pandemic? Roman Reigns. Who is the biggest star in the entire industry? Roman Reigns. Why would Roman Reigns hog the number one draft pick spotlight when he won’t be returning in the immediate future?

Read into his words, Kayla, that is not what a real Tribal Chief would do. Instead now, the pressure is on Nick Aldis. Because if Roman Reigns isn’t the first draft pick, then who is? The first two picks make history in a brand new era. And Heyman doesn’t know about you, but he is intrigued. No Tribal Chief up for grabs, who gets their opportunity to shine in the spotlight?

 

SmackDown throws it to the NXT Performance Center.

Jackie Redmond says the emotion down here is palpable! There is excitement, hope, and a little bit of nerves. But for these NXT Superstars, tonight is the culmination of a lifetime of hard work, dedication, a little bit of luck and a whole lot of self-belief. It was just last year that the NEW WWE Tag Team Champion, Grayson Waller, was hoping his name would be called. And it is funny this is NXT, but time to buy a vowel, throw in an E! Who is next? We find out tonight! The draft pool is deep, who rises to the top of the list?

 

Corey Graves is in the ring.

Corey welcomes Cincinnati and all of us at home to night one of the 2024 WWE Draft. Understandably, the GMs have their hands full, so Corey will be moderating the contract signing for the WWE Championship match that takes place next Saturday for Backlash: France. Without further ado, it’s the #1 contender, The Phenomenal AJ Styles! Styles makes his entrance, taking a seat at the table on camera right. And now, the Undisputed WWE Champion, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! Cincy fires up and sings along, “WHOA~ OH~!” as Cody makes his entrance and gets his pyro before joining everyone in the ring.

Styles looks over the contract, absolutely tuning out the fans going wild for “CODY! CODY!” Styles then gets the mic to say before he signs, he doesn’t know if we realize that we’ve got two Georgia boys about to mix it up for the first time, and for the biggest prize in the game. Styles understands why they boo, but they gotta know that he doesn’t respect LA Knight, LA Knight got under his skin. He accepts that. But that’s why Styles lost at Mania. But what happened? Styles got his composure back and realized that he is Phenomenal. Styles BEAT Knight to earn the right to face Cody Rhodes at Backlash.

Now unlike Knight, Styles does respect Cody. They hadn’t crossed paths yet, but they’ve been down the same roads. They had to prove themselves outside of the WWE. And Styles is willing to believe that the same man who gave him advice a long time ago gave Cody the same advice, on how to stand on their own two feet and be the men they are today. That man was The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. The fans cheer for “DUSTY! DUSTY!” Styles learned a lot from Dusty. Styles gets a little emotional thinking about Dusty, he was a good man. Dusty taught Styles how to carry himself, and to carry the weight of a championship.

And Styles looks at this WWE Championship here. The weight of this isn’t just the leather and gold. And at Backlash, we see if Cody can carry it. Styles goes back to his table, signs the contract, and then hands it off to Corey. Corey brings that to Cody, and Cody picks up his mic. “So… Cincinnati…! Whadda we wanna talk about? Certainly, we can talk about respect. There is not a locker room on Earth that you’ll find where everyone in it, every single person, they all respect AJ Styles. Last week, I went on to say you are the modern day Excellence of Execution. I respect the roads that you have traveled down to get here, the parallel paths that perhaps you and I have.

“Mutual respect, much respect. But that respect goes by the wayside at Backlash. I can feel it in your words to a degree. You’ve been here before. And it seems you’re implying that I cannot carry the weight of that championship. Well, good thing the man who trained me not far from where I sit now used to tell me all the time, it’s not about winning the title, it’s about keeping it.” The fans cheer that. Cody says boy does he respect Styles’ familiarity with Cody’s last name. But when you put C O D Y in front of it on this paper, that means they’ve never touched before. That means Backlash is a level playing field.

That means no matter how Phenomenal Styles is, this isn’t a dream match for Cody. It’s a must-win! Cody signs while the fans cheer, and it is official! Cody even throws the pen to the crowd as a free souvenir. Cody then offers a handshake, and Styles says y’know what? It was a beautiful thing to see Cody #FInishTheStory and win the title. But it’s a shame that Cody’s title reign will end at Backlash. Styles still shakes Cody’s hand, and then walks away. Cody picks up the belt and holds it high, will he get to hold it high again in Lyon, France?

Triple H is here!

Just as Cody was on his way to the back, The Game makes his way out here! HHH raises Cody’s hand, then invites him over to the podium. HHH welcomes us to the first round of the 2024 WWE Draft. It is a night that changes the landscape of the WWE going into the future, and things are a bit different this year. As the GMs ponder their next steps, they have to understand it is about protecting the roster they have as it is making the roster they want. Meaning that when they use their picks, they have just as much of a chance gaining a superstar as they do losing one they already have.

HHH just felt that since champs are protected and Cody will be staying here on SmackDown, maybe Cody could help read the SmackDown picks and HHH can read the Raw picks. And since SmackDown goes first, Cody reads first. Cody takes the card to say that with the first pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… The E S T, Bianca Belair! The stongEST, fastEST, roughEST, toughEST stays on Friday nights! HHH reads that for the second pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, Raw selects… YEET! JEY USO! Monday nights will still have Main Event Jey Uso! And the fans “YEET!” Cody says for the third pick, SmackDown selects… NXT’s Carmelo Hayes!

The fans fire up as SmackDown manages to snag… HIM! The former NXT Champion makes history again by being the first NXT superstar to be chosen this high in the Draft! HHH says that’s a hell of a pick. But then the fourth and final pick of this first round, Raw selects… SETH! FREAKIN’! ROLLINS! It is still going to be Monday Night Rollins as the Visionary stays on the red brand! Cody and HHH shake hands, and then Melo makes his way out! Melo has the mic to say when they talk about who’s next up, about who’s the hottest out, they don’t call them “the hottest out,” they just call him “Carmelo Hayes.”

The fans chant “WHOOP DAT TRICK!” to remind Melo how he’s leaving NXT. Melo says okay, okay. But then to Cody Rhodes, ever since Cody won the title, he’s been talking about “If you aim for the king, you best not miss.” Well, funny how that works. Because when Melo shoots, Melo don’t miss. And as a first round draft pick, what better way to shoot his shot on SmackDown than to shoot it right at Cody? Melo leaves the mic with Cody but Cody picks it up to say, “Fortune certainly favors the bold, but I dunno. You folks don’t wanna see me in action tonight, do ya?” The fans go wild! Oh, but what if Cody forgot his gear?

Oh that’s right! He didn’t forget his gear! And this title right here, for Cody, means absolutely 100%, Melo’s on! They shake on it, and we’re about to see a huge first-time-ever showdown! But will this bold first move work out for… HIM?

 

Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo!

The LWO is still not convinced Legado Del Fantasma had nothing to do with the beating that took the Boy Wonder out ahead of WrestleMania. Will the King of Lucha help get to the bottom of things? Or will Angel & “Berto” make it as easy as ABC, 1-2-3?

The teams sort out, Dragon runs up on Humberto but Humberto LARIATS him down! Humberto drags Dragon up, tears the shirt away and CHOPS! Humberto whips, Dragon ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! Humberto tumbles out, Dragon builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit and down goes Humberto! The fans fire up as Dragon pushes Humberto into the ring, goes up a corner, and then CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO! Dragon facelocks to drag Humberto up, but Humberto wrenches out to CLUB Dragon down. Humberto waistlocks but Dragon throws elbows. Angel tags in as Humberto shoves Dragon. Dragon ducks but Angel holds ropes open, and Dragon tumbles to the floor!

The fans boo and LWO hurries to check on Dragon! Angel & Humberto just soak up the heat as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both Dragon and Humberto are down! They crawl, hot tags to Angel and Rey! The fans fire up as Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl RANAS! Angel ends up in a corner, he puts Rey on the apron, but Rey ROCKS Angel! Rey goes up to SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, wrenches and kicks, then hops on! CODE RED! Cover, Humberto breaks it! The fans boo but Humberto hauls Rey up. Rey fights and RANAS Humberto up and out! But Angelo kicks, scoops, but Rey slips free! Angelo kicks low, reels REy in, and underhooks, but Rey fights those to RANA Angel onto ropes! Rey dials it up to 619!

Tag to Dragon and he takes aim! Angel stands, into the tilt-o-whirl, PROJECT DRAGON!! Cover, LWO wins!

Winners: Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee, by pinfall

Carlito and Zelina hug it out with the team, but then Santos Escobar & Elektra Lopez walk out here. Santos says whoa, whoa, whoa, hold that celebration. Because Santos is many things, but a liar is not one of them. And when Santos said he did NOT attack Dragon that night before Mania, he meant it. Elektra has been working for weeks to track down the security footage from that night. And Rey… Oh, Rey. What you’re about to see, you will find very, very interesting. The footage plays, and it was CARLITO!! Carlito throw Dragon around backstage! No one can believe it, because of how well Carlito fooled even Dragno.

Speaking of, Carlito RAMS Dragon into Rey, then hits a BACKSTABBER! Never has that move’s name been more fitting! Carlito runs away in a panic, and Rey stands back up in a rage! Santos says he told Rey that he was right all along. They were supposed to be family, and yet look how that turned out. How will the LWO recover from this shocking development?

 

Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander!

The Big Bad Booty Nephew has been making a case for himself ever since showing up on SmackDown, and he’s already bringing the straps down! Is he going to break PRIMED Alexander while also breaking match time records? Or will Cedric prove he’s too fly for Bron?

The bell rings and Cedric dodges Bron to CHOP and ROCK! Cedric whips, Bron reverses and Cedric handsprings, into a SPEAR!! Cover, Bron wins!

Winner: Bron Breakker, by pinfall

Well, hard to say if that’s an all-time fast match, but that was a fast match! QR Code stuff going on, but will we all see Bron take the world by storm?

 

Nick Aldis heads out.

And waiting is Tiffany Stratton. She asks if he saw what she did last week. Wait, of course he did. Because she is the Center of the Universe. She dropped Naomi and Bayley, where is her title match? Aldis tells Tiff to look at his watch. It is NOT set to #TiffyTime. And he was this close to sending her to the back of the line. But then someone convinced him otherwise, good for her. Tonight, she goes 1v1 with Naomi again, and the winner faces Bayley for the title at Backlash. Whose stupid idea was that?! Bayley says DING DONG, it was hers. It is a win-win situation here. If Naomi wins, she gets the match she got cheated out of.

And if Tiff wins, then she’ll find out when she attacks the Role Model. Tiff gasps as she has a #TiffanyEpiphany. Bayley should be ringside for that match so she can see Tiff do what Bayley couldn’t, and that’s beat Naomi. Tootles. Tiff leaves, but will the only thing she gets is to #FeelTheGlow?

 

Michelle McCool and Torrie Wilson are here!

One is a former WWE Women’s Champion, the other is a WWE Hall of Famer, but they’re both here to present Draft picks! Michelle says with the first pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… The Viper, Randy Orton! SmackDown will still have to watch out for an RKO outta nowhere! Torrie says that with the second pick of the second round, Raw selects… BRON BREAKKER! We just saw Bron make quick work of opponents here on SmackDown, but now he’s gonna be rampaging on Raw!

Michelle says that with the third pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… NIA JAX! The Irresistible Force may have to change targets from the Women’s World to the Undisputed Women’s title, but will she be unstoppable all the same? And with the fourth and final pick of this round, Raw selects… LIV MORGAN! The Revenge Tour will still be part of Monday nights, will we watch Liv rise to the top?

 

The Bloodline arrives backstage.

Paul Heyman is there to greet them and open the door to the SUV. He apologizes for not being faster about that, but Solo Sikoa asks The Bloodline if they’ve been drafted. Not yet. Then give Solo the details. Okay, well, Roman Reigns withdrew right before the show began, and then Solo keeps adding members, so no one really knows what they’re getting if they draft The Bloodline! Solo sighs, and here comes Tama Tonga. Heyman asks they be patient but Solo wants Heyman to repeat that for him. Heyman gets scared, but then KEVIN OWENS jumps in! Kevin fires off on Tama, security and refs rush in to stop it!

The Prizefighter wants Solo’s “MFT” to bring the fight like he did last week! Security still drags Kevin away, but will he get that fight he wants?

 

Kayla Braxton is on stage.

SmackDown returns and Kayla welcomes us back to the show. And please welcome out the first overall pick, Bianca Belair! The fans fire up as The EST walks out on stage, and Kayla congratulates her on being the first overall pick. But let’s talk Backlash. Breaking news, Bianca and Jade Cargill are going to challenge for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, against the Kabuki Warriors. How satisfying would it be to dethrone them on the stage of this magnitude? Bianca says so satisfying. She really hopes Jade gets drafted to SmackDown because given all this history with Damage CTRL, all the partners by her side, Bianca has never been the one to finally end it with them.

For everything they’ve done to her and this division, Bianca feels Jade is the perfect woman to help her end this. Now, DMG CTRL is falling apart piece by piece, and that final piece is the tag titles. So once Bianca & Jade take the gold at Backlash, the Kabuki Warriors won’t even have a reason to come back to SmackDown. But wait, they’re here now! Asuka & Kairi walk out here and Kayla moves aside. The Empress of Tomorrow and the Pirate Princess taunt the EST, but here comes The Storm! Jade makes her way to stand right by Bianca’s side. The four shout and argue, but this will be settled on May 4th!

WHOA! Tama and Kevin are brawling their way out here! The ladies move aside so the gentlemen can brawl all the way down to ringside! Tama hits low, gets in the ring, but Kevin pursues! Kevin TACKLES Tama, but Solo CLOBBERS Kevin! The fans boo as The Bloodline beats Kevin down! The refs hurry out here but clearly Solo’s Bloodline won’t listen! Tama DECKS producers, DECKS guards, HEADBUTTS them, throws hands and even THROWS the guards! Tama and Solo beat Kevin down again, but here comes Randy Orton! The Viper is still on SmackDown and he’s still pals with Kevin, so here he comes!

Orton DECKS Tama, fires hands on Solo, then RK- NO, Solo gets free and gets away! Orton wants to pursue, almost runs Jamie Noble and refs over to do it, but the Bloodline has gotten away! The fans cheer Randy on, and KAevin even hugs him! But then Kevin and Randy try to give chase! Security stops this, when and where will we see #RKKO strike down Solo and Tama?

 

The Dudley Boyz are here!

The fans fire up as Bubba Ray & D-Von are both here for the next round of picks! Cincy chants for “E C DUB! E C DUB!” Bubba and D-Von look at the cards, it’s hard to read. So out come the glasses! Bubba says with the first pick of the third round of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… L A KNIGHT! YEAH!! The Mega Star stays on Fridays! D-Von says with the second pick of the third round, Raw selects… RICOCHET! Mondays still has the One and Only, is Ricochet going to bring that WWE Speed Championship home to Raw, too?

Bubba says with the third pick of the third round, SmackDown selects… THE BLOODLINE! That means Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga and Paul Heyman are staying right here on Friday nights. And D-Von says with the final pick of this round, Raw selects… SHEAMUS! The Celtic Warrior just got back, but he won’t have to worry about going anywhere else but Monday nights.

 

WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton!

It’s time to run it back once again! The Glow got robbed by the Spoiled Rich Girl, but supposedly, it’s #TiffyTime. Will Naomi prove there’s no such time on the clock? Or will Bayley be the one feeling the Backlash over giving Tiffany one more chance?

The bell rings and Naomi hits a THESZ PRESS! Naomi rains down fists, Tiffy shoves her away and goes to ropes, but Naomi gets up in Tiff’s face. Naomi whips, Tiff holds ropes to bail out and fans boo. Naomi scowls, runs in and WRECKS Tiff with a dropkick! Naomi then gets Tiff up, SMACKS her off the apron, and then SMACKS her off it again! And again! Naomi puts Tiff in, goes up a corner, but Tiff gets under the jump! Naomi runs back up but Tiff YANKS her into ropes! Tiff runs to HIP ATTACK! Naomi sputters, Tiff scowls and drags Naomi up, to then put through ropes. But Naomi RAMS into Tiff!

Naomi reels Tiff in, for a HEATSEEKER! Tiff flops to the floor, and then Naomi SPLIT LEG DROPS! Naomi says it’s #NaomiTime, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Naomi runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO! Naomi survives and Tiff is frustrated but the fans rally up. Tiff drags Naomi up, whips her to a corner, but Naomi goes up and sunset flips! TWO! Tiff escapes, knees Naomi low, then whips. Naomi slides under the lariat to then mule kick! Then she headscissor SPIKES Tiff down! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives but barely, and Naomi keeps her cool. Naomi headlocks, but Tiff shoves her into buckles! Tiff runs, but Naomi follows, DOUBLE RUNNING FACEBUSTERS take them both down! The fans fire up as the two rise!

Naomi KICKS, ROCKS and ROCKS Tiff again! Naomi fires shots again and again but Tiff knees low! Tiff reels Naomi in, but Naomi wrenches out to ENZIGIRI! And then BUCKLE BULLDOG! But then NIA JAX attacks Bayley!? Nia SMACKS Bayley off buckles, rains down fists, and this momentarily distracts Naomi. Naomi refocuses, but by now, Tiff’s slipped away! Nia KICKS Bayley in the side, so Naomi goes out to ROCK her! Nia POSTS Naomi and that throws the match out!

No Contest

The fans boo as Nia ruins the fun, then runs Bayley over! Nia smiles as she blows kisses to Cincy. Tiff smiles, she drags Naomi up and puts her in the ring. Then she drags Bayley in! Tiff wants a repeat of last week as she puts them side by side in the drop zone! Tiff then goes up and up for the PRETTIEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Tiff says it’s her time, but the #1 contendership is still in question. Who gets their shot at the Role Model at Backlash?

 

B-Fab and the Street Profits meet up backstage.

Angelo Dawkins has a “WHO-DEY” sign, but Montez Ford is wondering where Bobby Lashley is right now. B-Fab says calm down, he’ll be here. Byron Saxton walks over and apologizes for interrupting. He doesn’t know what the Draft destination for this group will be until Monday Night Raw, but we do know that The Profits will challenge A-Town Down Under for the WWE Tag Team Championships. YESSIIIIIIR~! B-Fab says it doesn’t matter where they get drafted. The Profits are going to take down A-Town Down Under and take those titles. Then they’ll have their first class tickets right back to SmackDown.

SmackDown? Did someone say SmackDown~? In walk Austin Theory & Grayson Waller, showing off the titles. And Theory says you can’t have SmackDown without the GREATEST undefeated tag team of all time. And sorry, Dawkins, but these are championships, something the Bengals know nothing about! B-Fab keeps Dawkins back, but then in steps Bobby Lashley! The All Mighty scares Theory & Waller right off, and Dawkins says see y’all next Friday! Will there be nothing keeping these Profits down the night before Backlash?

 

The Final Testament speaks.

Karrion Kross says good evening. What’s going on here? You guessed it! More random acts of violence! Just follow him. Kross & Scarlett lead the way to show The Authors of Pain beating down New Catch Republic! Rezar beats down Pete Dunne while Akam victimizes Tyler Bate! Paul Ellering says they will know about sacrifice! Kross says whether they get drafted to Raw or stay on SmackDown, the violence will continue until they get what they want! So sayeth The Final Testament!!

 

Teddy Long and JBL are here!

The Hall of Famer General Manager and the Hall of Famer WWE Champion are both here, ready to give us the fourth and final round of picks tonight! Teddy gets right to it! The first pick of the fourth round, SmackDown selects… AJ STYLES! The Phenomenal One is really an obvious choice, because one way or another, the WWE Championship stays with SmackDown! JBL says the second pick of the fourth round, Raw selects… THE ALPHA ACADEMY! Raw keeps Chad Gable, Otis, Maxxine Dupri & Akira Tozawa, A THANK YEW~!

Teddy says with the third pick of this round, SmackDown selects… ANDRADE! A big move as now El Idolo will be part of Friday nights. And with the final pick of this fourth round, Raw selects… NXT’S Kiana James! The Calculator, the former NXT Women’s Tag Team Champion, has the Raw hat to put on, and after a quick hype package, Jackie Redmond is there to interview her. Kiana, congratulations! You are heading to Monday Night Raw! How much does this mean to her? This means the world to her. She is filled with gratitude, but also knows every decision she has made up to this point has been by design to get her here.

Kiana is so proud of her time in NXT, but she’s ready to show Raw why she is the One Percent. Was she surprised? Of course she was! HBK is here to wish her luck and congratulations. Is Kiana going to start the hostile takeover of the Raw Women’s Division?

 

Backstage interview with Nick Aldis.

Kayla is with the SmackDown GM and says that with night one in the books, how does he feel about SmackDown’s selections? He feels really good about them. SmackDown’s future is bright, he can’t wait for the new recruits to show up and show out for the blue brand. But he also wants to turn attentions to Backlash, because he’s got some new matches to announce! The first PLE in France, this is exciting stuff, Kayla. Aldis says that the WWE Women’s Championship will now be on the line in a Triple Threat! Bayley VS Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton! Will the odds make it that much harder for the Role Model to succeed?

There’s one more match to announce, but Aldis will let the GM GOAT take it from here. Teddy Long steps in, and don’t forget. We’ll talk about this tag team match. The Bloodline VS Kevin Owens & Randy Orton! Holla, players. Solo & Tama will have to face The Viper and the Prizefighter, will #RKKO strike fast and strike hard?

 

Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes!

The American Nightmare just put pen to paper for his match with the Phenomenal One, but he isn’t one to shy away from a challenge. The former NXT Champion is shooting his shot, but will this be nothing but net? Or will it be a frustrating airball?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, the fans rally for Cody as he puts Melo in a corner then arm-drags him away. Melo runs up, Cody headlocks, Melo powers out then drops. Melo hurdles, but Cody kicks low to RHODES UPPERCUT! Melo staggers to ropes, the fans fire up, but then melo throat chops and springboard FLYING LARIATS! Melo says that’s why he’s a first round pick! But then Cody CLOBBERS him! Cody asks if Melo’s ready for this, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns once again and Cody has a headlock. Cody hits a takeover, Melo flails and kicks around, but Cody grinds him down. Melo pushes with his forearm, then headscissors, but Cody kips free. Melo CHOPS, the fans “WOO~!” but Cody brushes himself off. Melo pie faces Cody! Cody fires forearms on Melo, then whips, but Melo reverses. Melo ELBOWS Cody, then runs up to KICK him in the side! Melo fires forearms and CHOPS in a corner, then throws body shots. Melo digs his boot in, the ref counts, and Cody goes to another corner. Cody eggs Melo on, Melo storms up, but Cody puts him in the corner to CHOP!

Cody swings, Melo dodges and CHOPS! Cody turns things around to CHOP! The fans rally, Cody whips corner to corner, then he back drops Melo away! Melo staggers up, Cody runs, and he rallies on Melo with forearms! Cody goes up and over in a corner but Melo tilt-o-whirls, LA MYSTICA! Melo springboards, FADE AWAY! Cover, TWO! Cody survives that flying DDT, but we see the NXT roster all fired up watching Melo take it to the champ. Melo sits Cody up, drags him into a facelock, but the fans rally for Cody. Cody fireman’s carries but Melo slips free to dragon sleeper! Melo grins, but Cody cradles! TWO!!

Melo swings, Cody boots, then Cody springboards to BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! Melo flips inside-out, Cody covers, TWO! Melo is still in this and he snarls up at Cody. Melo gives a forearm, Cody gives it back, and the fans rally up. Cody scoops Melo, storms around, and then hits a RUNNING POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Melo survives and Cody grows frustrated. Cody pounds the mat, the fans rally up, and then Cody goes to ropes. Cody springboards again, CODY CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Melo survives yet again, proving why he’s a former NXT Champion, on top of NXT North American Champion! But then Cody drags him up!

Cody back suplexes, Melo lands out of it, then FIRST 48! Doe goes Cody and Melo goes up! Melo is setting up for the game winner! NOTHING BUT- NO, Cody avoids the flying leg drop! Melo rolls through, Cody dodges to SUPERKICK! Cody brings Melo around, but Melo gets free! They both run, both springboard, but completely miss each other, and Cody takes a rough landing! Melo drags Cody up, reels him in, but Cody wrenches out to dragon sleeper! CROSS RHODES!! Cody shakes out the bad arm but still makes the cover, and Cody wins!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall

Melo took his shot but it was blocked! Even so, Cody sits Melo up to show him respect and tell him he’s still the future. But did this match end up more of a trap game for Cody after that crash landing? Or will he be alright in time for Backlash and his phenomenal opponent?

Speaking of, Styles sneaks right into the ring! Cody sees him in time and Styles stays back. Cody and Styles stare down, but Styles says it was that close. Styles offers a handshake, and Cody takes it. There’s still respect here, for now. But will nothing stop Styles from turning Cody’s story into a tragedy after all?


My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown to open the WWE Draft but to also set up Backlash. To recap, SmackDown took Bianca, Melo, Orton, Nia, LA Knight, The Bloodline, Styles and Andrade while Raw took Jey, Rollins, Bron, Liv, Ricochet, Sheamus, The Alpha Academy, and Kiana. Many of those choices made sense, as picks won’t be wasted on keeping champions on brands, and just need to be used to keep most stories alive and change up a few others. Kiana is perhaps one of the more surprising moves, but well-deserved. She has been a solid character and solid in-ring performer almost from the start, she’s a solid addition to Raw.

Bron of course demolished his opponent tonight, it’s just a shame it was Cedric and not local enhancement talent. But Bron will also be a good addition to Raw, but maybe he can move past his squash match phase and get right to story. Melo being a first round pick was great stuff, and he had a great promo with Cody to give us tonight’s main event. That double springboard whiff was definitely a timing problem, but at the same time, a Fade Away countered into a Cody Cutter would’ve been way too epic just for TV. Cody with a great win, and we got a really good contract signing segment, but you can bet Cody retains.

Really good tag match from LWO VS Legado but naturally Rey & Dragon won. I knew it was only a matter of time before Carlito was outed, and how he handled being exposed was pretty good. And with Andrade being drafted to SmackDown, you just know that means Andrade joins the LWO. The Final Testament attacking New Catch Republic was a wild moment, I almost thought Ellering was going to use the pliers in his hands to grab at fingers. Maybe we get that next week for SmackDown in France. Good promos from A-Town Down Under and the still technically unnamed faction of Bobby Lashley’s. As great as The Profits are, it feels like Theory & Waller will cheat to retain.

Really good promo with Tiff and Bayley to set up Naomi VS Tiff round 3, but I did not think Nia Jax would disrupt all that. A Triple Threat at Backlash is good stuff, it will protect Bayley if she loses, but can also protect Naomi and Tiff if Bayley uses them against each other to win. Good promo from Bianca that then turned into the shouting match of Bianca & Jade with Kabuki Warriors. Their tag title match is official, and I’m pretty sure Bianca & Jade win. I also liked that this segment ended up having Kevin and Tama brawl right through it. Orton saving Kevin was a great move, RKKO VS Solo & Tama is going to be awesome stuff, I can’t wait to see it.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.25.2024

We just got done with Rebellion, and Under Siege is two weeks away! Gotta see how these dots connect!

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Rebellion had quite a few returns, Mike Santana, Sami Callihan and Broken Matt Hardy. All three of these guys could easily be main event players, and its nice to mix up and expand what felt like a rather small pool of potential challengers.

Under Siege is only like 2 weeks out, so we’ll see how the dots connect in such a short period of time.

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
  • #1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via Grapevine Ankle Lock – ***
  • ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside: Xia wins via School Girl Roll-Up – ** 3/4
  • Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands: Sami Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – SQUASH
  • Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – *** 1/4

Results:

A weird opening that is just framed to put Nemeth and Hardy together against The System. Feels a little awkward, but who knows how it will play out. 

Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz

Ahh I didn’t really pay attention to Santana’s theme at Rebellion, but its pretty damn cool. Good stuff. 

Rascalz blindside Santana early, but the heel advantage doesn’t last more than a few moves. Santana whips Myron from corner to corner, hits a few Hip Attacks before Myron finally dodges one and starts using his unique offense and agility to his advantage. Matrix dodge, into an Leaping Outside Back in Slingshot Codebreaker. Some more offense and Santana powders to the ramp, Myron jumps over the rope and tries a Flying Cutter, but Santana blocks it, turns things around, gets pushed forward and hits the Rolling Cutter. Santana takes out the Rascalz, heads back into the ring, Myron tries to catch him unawares but eats the Spin the Block off the rope run! Santana wins fairly quickly.

Maclin’s music hits, he tries to employ the help of The Rascalz to attack Santana, but as soon as Maclin positions himself to get in, The Rascalz bail and flip off Maclin. Maclin makes it out of the confrontation relatively unscathed, but at least we know where he’s going for Under Siege probably.

OH FUCK ME WITH RUSTY KNIVES. Because Cardona is hurt Kon is paired with SDL, and she just challenges Jordynne and PCO to a tag match. WHY!? STOP IT. This is hot garbage. 

Josh Alexander comes out…I wonder who’s Super Finisher he’s gonna conveniently kick out this time? Brian Myers? Frankie Kazarian? Rich Swann? Because yes, I’m still annoyed that Hammerstone has been in TNA for half a sandwich, he already connects with a Super version of his finish on tacks, and that’s not a finish. Oh Kaz’s music hits. Okay, so time for Josh to kick out of Fade to Black or Flux Capacitor. Kaz talks smack, says he won his match too so he should have a say in who’s number one contender. Josh challenges him, Kaz says not right now, but a referee runs out and says the match is official. 

#1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander

Kaz throws his jacket on Josh’s head, and attacks him with some strikes before Josh fights back and throws Kaz out. Commercial break, we see Kaz misses his Apron Guillotine, Josh goes for the Low Crossbody but Kaz dodges and Josh goes flying. Kaz starts throwing some chops and claws at the cauliflowered ears of Josh. Russian Leg Sweep from Kaz for a near fall. Josh swings wildly and Kaz ducks the strike and levels Josh with a Lariat.

Josh blocks a Vertical Suplex attempt, but Frankie pulls off a Fisherman’s Suplex after a few overhead strikes for a near fall. Josh stands up and connects with a straight right, rocks Kaz, Back Body Drop, into a Charging Forearm, Rolling Senton, 2 count! C4 Spike attempt countered into a Back Stabber and then Chicken Wing, but Josh fights it off, rolls through and into an Ankle Lock, Kaz kicks off and into a Head and Arm Cradle for a near fall and then the Guillotine Leg Drop into Slingshot DDT spot from Kaz for another 2 count!

Fade to Black, but its fought off, Big Boot but then Kaz counters the next move with a Power Slam into the Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop, but Josh grabs the Ankle Lock! Locomotion German Suplex time from Josh, Halfhatch Suplex after the Germans, floats over for a 2 count! C4 Spike attempt again, but Kaz fights it off, dumps him over the top rope, slingshots him in and into the Cutter for a near fall for Kaz! After the 2 Kaz grabs a chair and chain, the referee stops the chair of course, so he tries the chain, EY runs down and grabs the chain so Kaz pulls the Eddie Guerrero and the referee admonishes EY, but doesn’t DQ Josh. So as Kaz is busy laughing at EY, Josh picks the ankle, Ankle Lock with the Grapevine, Kaz taps.

ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside

Both are jawing at each other and then throw hands before Xia gets the upper hand with a Headscissors from the Top Turnbuckle, Charging Knees, a Flurry of Kicks, but when the ref forces some space in the corner, ASH is finally able to dodge and work over Xia with her Twisting Body Splash, a few choking moves, a corner Stomp into a Snap Suplex for 2. ASH is in charge elegantly, but the referee keeps forcing space on both of them when they go for corner attacks. Xia manages to take advantage a little, but ASH regains control, kicks Xia up the ramp and then lands her Cartwheel Back Elbow up the ramp. It actually looks pretty cool executed like that.

Headlocks and Hair Pulling to keep Xia down and using energy to kick out. ASH is getting frustrated but Xia is remaining persistent. ASH goes back to the Headlock, but Xia fights up, Jawbreaker, Back Elbow, Kick to the gut and Drop Toe Hold sends ASH face first into the middle buckle. Xia rips off 4 Double Knee Smashes to the back of ASH’s head into her Flying Crossbody for a close 2! Xia pulls her up, but ASH spins out, then Xia slips it, but ASH kicks her in the chest and deposits her to the outside and demands a count from the referee. Iceman puts Jeweled Knuckles/Rings on ASH’s hand, the referee catches her, removes the stuff from her fingers and Xia hits the School Girl Roll-Up for the flash win.

Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands

So the Good Hand Jobs are about to do their job to Sami. I’m just gonna assume Sami beats the hell out of both and wins with a Cactus Driver ’97. If anything interesting happens I might actually cover it, but come on now.

Kaz makes a Metallica reference with the “Wash Your Back So You Won’t Stab Mine”…and Sweet Amber is the only good song on St. Anger. So…I ain’t mad.

Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth

A little early ground wrestling and headlocks for control from both men. Nothing super flashy to start until we get to the rope run and Nemeth goes for the Flying Body Press to drop Eddie. Before Nemeth can follow up, Lish grabs his foot. Nic does have his brother Ryan in the crowd, trying to get chants going and do the old school ‘power up the babyface’ thing, but Eddie has been in control since Lish got involved. Simple offense, chokes, strikes, Snap Suplexes, Knee Drops, simple yet effective. But then Eddie ducks his head too early, Nemeth kicks him in the face, bounces his head off the buckles a few times, Dropkick sends Eddie reeling to the corner, Nemeth starts the 10 Count Punches but Myers hits the apron to distract and Eddie manages to slip the situation and push Nemeth to the floor.

Commercial break happens, Nemeth is trying to fight back with Chops, but a Kitchen Sink from Eddie puts Nemeth on the floor again! Clubbing blow from Eddie, but Eddie then misses the Hip Attack in the corner and Nemeth counters with the Rude Awakening into the 10 Count Rain of Elbows. Fame Ass-er miss, Eddie tries something but Nemeth turns it into that hesitation DDT for 2! Tuning up the band starts to build and Eddie powders to avoid it. Nemeth throws Eddie back in, goes to the top, but Eddie crotches him, rises up and hits the Superplex into Tiger Driver for 2! Eddie starts mocking with Tuning Up the band but Nemeth hits his own Superkick into an Olympic Slam for 2!

Both men just trade strikes Fighting Spirit style, Eddie says “Always Trust the System” and Nemeth shuts him up with a Headbutt. Danger Zone is blocked, Boston Knee Party gets ducked, they level each other with Lariats! Myers and Ryan Nemeth start fighting to distract the referee, Moose hits the ring and hits Nemeth with the belt. Eddie lands Boston Knee Party and The System wins again!

 

Overall Score: 6/10

A lame opening segment, a squash match, ASH by Elegance getting her first loss, and a weird way of just pulling the number one contender out of mid air makes for an awkward show. Also Kon still be involved in, literally anything, is negative. However, I can say there was a ton of stuff thrown at the wall this episode, so there’s a chance that some things landed better with other people than myself. The ballot segments were amusing, they overused the “I need to talk to you Santino” gimmick a bit much and personally I feel like having Jake versus Hammerstone is booking yourself into a weird corner.

But hey, the main event was fun, Nemeth getting laid out to the point that there could be a story reason to take him out of the Under Siege match. Kaz with the Metallica reference was pop worthy and I guess its a lot of ‘let’s see where it goes’ kind of angle creation. So it wasn’t complete trash, but its definitely a wait and see episode.


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