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Mitchell’s WWE WrestleMania 37 Results & Report! (4/11/21)

Who wins THE WrestleMania main event?

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WrestleMania 37 Coverage

WrestleMania 37’s two night adventure reaches its conclusion!

After an epic first night, how can WrestleMania 37 possibly get any greater? Perhaps with Daniel Bryan VS Edge VS Roman Reigns for the Universal title! Will the Head of the Table still be at the helm of the WWE?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Randy Orton VS The Fiend w/ Alexa Bliss; Orton wins.
  • WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler w/ Reginald VS Natalya & Tamina; Jax & Baszler win and retain the titles.
  • Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn; Kevin wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Sheamus; Sheamus wins and becomes the new WWE United States Champion.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Nigerian Drum Fight: Big E VS Apollo Crews; Apollo wins and becomes the new WWE Intercontinental Champion.
  • Raw Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Rhea Ripley; Ripley wins and becomes the new Raw Women’s Champion.
  • WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Roman Reigns w/ Paul Heyman VS Edge VS Daniel Bryan; Reigns wins and retains the title.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the WrestleMania 37 Night Two Kickoff Show!

Join Kayla Braxton, Booker T, Jerry “The King” Lawler, JBL and Peter Rosenberg for yet another round of discussing, analyzing and predicting the action tonight!

 

Sonya Deville joins the panel again!

Does anyone really understand the implications of the Nigerian Drum Fight? It might just be Apollo Crews who understands. His power and his culture are going to define what happens tonight. Booker asks, “What do I look like? Chopped liver?” Well okay, he would know, yes. Booker says this goes back a long time ago, the Zulu nation and the Mandingo. This will play out in front of the world so the world needs to understand, and Booker says Apollo will make you understand. Sonya wishes she’d heard more about this. But Jerry wants to know why it’s drums. Booker asks, “What do you do to a drum?” You beat it. Exactly!

Rosenberg says the bottom line is, Apollo is in control. Big E may be on the kick of being in his hometown- JBL asks why Rosenberg’s hands are everywhere. But the point is, Apollo knows what this is about because this is his match. Booker says this will be a great night for everyone back home. JBL and Jerry can’t say anything without getting canceled, so they will agree with him.

 

Ashland Craft sings America the Beautiful!

 

We’ve waited patiently for this moment.

“Finally…!” The biggest event in LIVE entertainment is BACK! Back with the spectacle, the excitement and the pageantry! WrestleMania is #BackInBusiness! And tonight, WWE sets sail on the high seas with epic epicness bigger than the history of history! Wait, what? Did he just say all that? That’s what was written. Okay, mate, let’s get this cold open done right. We pick up where we left off just last year. Our heroes are obnoxiously heroic as they battle for the ultimate prize: immortality. But no more tall tales, let’s get real, as the kids say. Tonight, we witness the global event that spans decades, created unforgettable moments, and has the memories we will remember forever.

But let us tip our caps to you, the fans, who made this possible. You over there, and them up there, and even those at home who “can’t not watch.” We raise the sails as fate still awaits. The course was corrected, the wind cannot be stopped, and the quest continues! Now how’s that? Impressive. But where’s the big finish? That’s cold open 101. Good point. Pyro montage! “Welcome back… to WrestleMania!”

 

The WrestleMania cohosts are back!

Titus O’Neil and Hulk Hogan return to kick off Night Two of WrestleMania 37, but this time they’re Captain Titus and the Hollywood Privateer! “I dunno about you, Hulk, but I think we look damn good tonight.” Well, T-man, it’s a little hot, too. But either way, AHOY MATIES! Yo ho, brothers, and welcome to Mania Sunday! Last night was incredible, but tonight will be no different! Seven matches, and FIVE are for gold! That means they need to batten down the hatches. No room for scurvy dogs or scallywags! Whoa, don’t be calling the people that. Hogan’s not gonna walk the plank, is he? No, Titus will take care of that. The first match is a tale of terror, dark than the depths of Davey Jones’ Locker! YARRGH!

 

Randy Orton VS The Fiend w/ Alexa Bliss!

The Viper thought he’d finished this at TLC, but some evil never dies. And now, this horror movie in real-life opens the Showcase of the Immortals! Lil’ Miss Twisted Bliss is still by his side, but will Orton finally #LetHimIn?

As he makes is entrance through a mysterious tunnel, The Fiend… has been restored! Alexa makes her way out first, with spooky face paint on to clash with her Punky Brewster outfit. She frolics along, and has a GIANT jack-in-the-box?! Alexa winds the handle and Orton already has an idea what’s coming. All around the mulberry bush, the Fiend chased the Viper~. And out rises The Fiend’s new form! Orton isn’t sure what to make of this, and The Fiend suddenly LEAPS into the ring to CLOTHESLINE Orton down! The bell rings, Fiend SPLASHES in the corner, reels Orton in and hits an URENAGE! Fiend sits Orton up for a NECK SNAP! “YOWIEEEE WOWIEEE~!”

Orton writhes as he clutches his neck and Fiend goes to a corner. Fans fire up as The Fiend spider-walks! Orton gets up, Fiend copies him as he takes aim! Orton flounders up, but he avoids a punt kick! Fiend pursues, Orton kicks low and gives him a back suplex to the desk! But Fiend clamps on with the CLAW! Orton grabs at the ring, gets in, and the ring count is still climbing! Orton gets free but Fiend gets in, only for Orton to kick low. Orton gets Fiend through ropes, for a DRAPING DDT! But Fiend springs right back up! Fiend blocks the RKO, but Orton throws him into his own jack-in-the-box! Fiend flounders, Orton gets Fiend through ropes again and KICKS him!

Orton wrenches the arm, KICKS again, and drags Fiend into ANOTHER DRAPING DDT! Orton looms over Fiend and stomps a hand! Fiend barely flinches, so Orton stomps the other hand! Orton throws hands and clubbing forearms but Fiend just gets up! Orton kicks low, runs, but into a LARIAT! Fiend and fans fire up, things speed up, Fiend BODY CHECKS Orton! Fiend rains down forearms over and over! Fiend gets up to run and drop a back senton, but Orton dodges it! Orton throws Fiend out but Fiend gets right back on the apron. Orton kicks him between ropes, gives away more kicks, then drags Fiend back in, for a THIRD DRAPING DDT!

Orton paces as Fiend slowly stirs. Orton hears the voices and wants Fiend to get up now. Fiend rises, but still no RKO, because Fiend has the MANDIBLE CLAW! Fiend smothers Orton, Orton starts to fade but he grabs at Fiend. Fiend brings Orton up, gives him a kiss good night, and the FLAMES erupt as Alexa is now in a new form! She has a tiara of barbed wire and there’s black ink pouring out. Wait, this distracts the Fiend?! ORTON HITS AN RKO!! Cover, Orton wins!!

Winner: Randy Orton, by pinfall

What is going on with Alexa?! Did she mean to ruin tonight for The Fiend?! Either way, the Viper slithers away before he has to worry about this any longer. Is Orton finally done being haunted by these ghouls? Fiend looks up at Alexa, but the lights start to go out again. And when the lights return, Fiend and Alexa are gone. Just what is happening inside the Firefly Fun House?

 

DING DONG~! Hello!

Bayley asks Titus and Hogan what happened to them texting her back. She says hello to Eric Bischoff, she’s a big fan of his podcast, and says if he ever feels like being on a real show, he can be on hers. Well he’s more of a book guy, not into TV. But that match of Sasha VS Bianca, the SmackDown Women’s Champion on his podcast would be awesome! Yeah, yeah, flavor of the month. But they’re not a role model like Bayley! Bayley is the longest reigning women’s champion, has her own talk show, and is on both nights of Mania! Bischoff brings up Hogan’s new boat, and they decide to go see the boat. Titus wants to ride a boat… Sorry, Bayley, Hall of Famer stuff.

 

WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler w/ Reginald VS Natalya & Tamina!

The Tag Team Turmoil is over, but now the real battle begins! Will the Irresistible Force & Queen of Spades still be standing after battling the Daughter of Superfly & Queen of Harts?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and the battle of alpha females begins!

The teams sort out and Shayna and Natty start. They circle, tie up, Natty headlocks and hits a takeover, but Shayna headscissors. Natty kips free but Shayna smirks as the two reset. They tie up again, Shayna headlocks to hit the takeover, but Natty gets up to power out. Shayna runs Natty over, dusts off her hands, then runs. Natty drops, hurdles, but Shayna blocks a hip toss to get a headlock, only for Natty to trip her up! Shayna scrambles to avoid the Sharpshooter, and tags to Nia. Nia and Natty stare down, fans duel, and they tie up. Nia shoves Natty down and says, “I don’t want you.” She’s calling out Tamina! Tamina reaches out, and Natty tags her in!

Fans fire up as Tamina and Nia stare down. Nia pie faces, headbutts and talks trash but Tamina HEADBUTTS back! It’s a battle of headbutts! Tamina fires off haymakers but Nia denies the scoop! Nia runs but Tamina fires off forearms! Tag to Natty, Nia ROCKS her and Tamina! Nia runs, Shayna tags in, Natty & Tamina DOUBLE BACK DROP Nia! Shayna BOOTS Natty, Tamina ROCKS Shayna back! Natty is up, she and Tamina DOUBLE GOURD BUSTER Shayna onto Nia! Fans fire up as Natty gets the legs again and steps through, but Shayna cradle counters, TWO! Natty waistlocks and GERMAN SUPLEXES! Natty drags Shayna up to stomp her down, then tags Tamina.

Natty keeps Shayna from her corner and feeds her to Tamina’s clothesline! Tag back to Natty, Natty gets the hand-off to trip Shayna, and catapult her into a SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO! Natty keeps on Shayna with forearms, then scoops Shayna, only for Shayna to slip out and fire off a strike fest, topping it off with a KNEE! Natty and Shayna are both down, Nia YANKS Tamina off the apron! Tamina fires off on Nia, but Nia scoops her to SLAM her! Natty is shocked, Shayna KNEES her down in a corner! Shayna snapmares to a cover, TWO! Shayna goes after a leg and bends it! Natty endures, kicks with her free leg but Shayna throws a forearm. Shayna pulls on the leg and twists the ankle!

Natty kicks at Shayna more, Shayna turns Natty over and has the foot stuck, to STOMP IT!! Tag to Nia, and Nia looms over Natty as she clutches the foot. Nia soaks up the heat, and drags Natty to drop a leg on the leg! Nia has a standing toehold and Natty endures. Natty fires off haymakers, but Nia stomps the leg! Cover, TWO! Nia is annoyed but she drags Natty up. Natty fights back, Nia CLOBBERS her! Tag to Shayna, Nia has Natty in a STRETCH MUFFLER! Shayna KNEES Natty while she’s upside-down! Cover, TWO! Shayna taunts Natty as Tamina is still down. Shayna SMASHES Natty’s knee into the mat, then pushes Natty around.

Shayna drags Natty up, Nia tags in, and Shayna feeds Natty to a scoop and SLAM! Natty gets to her corner, Nia soaks up heat and runs in, but Natty POSTS her! Natty catches her breath, runs at Nia and throws clothesline after clothesline, then the DISCUS! Cover, TWO!! Nia still has a lot of power but Natty rallies the fans! Natty drags Nia up but Nia headbutts her! Nia reels Natty in, gets her up, and hits the ONE HAND SLAM! Cover, Tamina breaks it?! Tamina is back in this and Shayna is furious! Nia crawls over to tag Shayna in, but fans fire up for Natty as she tags Tamina in! Tamina rallies on Shayna with elbows, then dodges to CLOBBER Shayna!

Shayna blocks a punch to fire off kicks, but she kicks into a DRAGON SCREW! Tamina runs but gets buckles. Shayna blocks Tamina’s boot, twists the ankle, but Tamina BOOTS her down! Nia storms over but Tamina DECKS her! Shayna gets around, wants the Kirafuda but Tamina blocks it to SAMOAN DROP! Cover, TWO!! Tamina grows frustrated but she drags Shayna to a drop zone. Fans rally as Tamina goes to a corner! Tamina climbs up, but Shayna KICKS her first! Tag to Nia, and Nia storms over to get up top! Nia fireman’s carries but Natty saves Tamina! Shayna gets in but Natty CLOBBERS her! But Nia adjusts, DOUBLE CROSSBODY!! Double cover, TWO!!

Natty and Tamina survive but now Nia clutches a leg. That was a rough landing for everyone but Nia manages to get up. Nia sees Tamina is still down, fans rally for Tamina and Nia gets annoyed. Nia brings Tamina up, but Tamina scoops Nia!! Tamina SLAMS NIA!! Cover, TWO!!! Tamina drags herself to a corner, and fans fire up again as Tamina climbs! Tamina aims, SUPERFLY!! BUT SHE FLOPS! Nia moves and Tamina is down again! Nia and Tamina both crawl for their corners as fans rally again. Hot tag to Natty! Natty runs and swipes at Shayna, but Nia gets Natty for a fireman’s carry! Shayna tags in, Natty slips off and DECKS Shayna!

Natty basement dropkicks Nia, and she’s after Nia’s legs! But Shayna’s the legal one! Natty doesn’t know that as she works to get the turn! SHARPSHOOTER, but Nia isn’t legal!! Shayna gets in to get the KIRAFUDA!!! Shayna drags Natty down, Natty endures but she’s OUT! The champs win!!

Winners: Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler, by submission (still WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions)

So close and yet so far for Tamina & Natty! Does this mean no team can stop the Irresistible Force & Queen of Spades?

 

Kevin Owens VS Sami Zayn!

Two men who have known each other for two DECADES, ranging everywhere from friends to rivals to bitter enemies, finally have their moment together on the Grandest Stage of Them All! But given the Great Liberator’s ludicrous behavior as of late, the Prizefighter promises to beat some sense into him! Will Kevin snap Sami out of it? Or is Sami too far gone?

WWE Hall of Fame inductee JBL joins commentary for this one to bring back a classic combination of him and #MAGGLE. Sami gets a mic to say, “Please, ladies and gentlemen. I know you’re all just as excited as I am.” Please give a warm WrestleMania welcome for Sami’s special guest of honor, and show some respect to the only ally Sami has had in fighting the conspiracy against Sami! This is… LOGAN PAUL! Logan Paul does walk out to the ring and Sami breaks it down to the theme music again. Sami hugs Logan, and fans are of course divided. Sami apologizes to Logan for the booing. But here comes Kevin! The bell rings and Sami runs, right into a POP-UP POWERBOMB!

Sami flounders out of the ring before Kevin can get him, but Kevin just goes out after him! Kevin brings Sami in and there’s NXT flashbacks as Sami fights the apron bomb! Kevin gets in after Sami, drags him up and CHOPS him! And CHOPS him! Kevin hangs Sami out to dry on ropes and Sami springs right off to hit the mat! Kevin runs in to clothesline Sami down! Kevin goes corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Sami is in a drop zone, Kevin goes up top, but Sami gets out to the apron. Kevin climbs down but walks into a BOOT! Sami reels Kevin in, Kevin elbows free of the half nelson, but Sami kicks low! Sami reels Kevin in, for an APRON BRAINBUSTER!!

Everyone is shocked, even Logan Paul! Sami drags himself back into the ring, Kevin stirs but the ring count is already 5 of 10! Sami wants it to be faster but it’s already at 7 as Kevin stands. Kevin is in at 8 and Sami is on him with furious fists! Sami seethes, kicks Kevin while he’s down, then throws crossface forearms! Logan nods as Sami looks to him, but Kevin throws haymakers! Sami kicks low, scoops Kevin and MICHINOKU DRIVERS! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives and Sami is furious! Sami goes back to Kevin in a corner, hauls him up to the top rope, and then climbs up to go after him. Kevin resists the superplex, throws heavy body shots, then haymakers.

Sami gives those back, they brawl up top, fans cheer Kevin but boo Sami, until it’s all the same from the pace quickening! Kevin HEADBUTTS Sami down! Kevin adjusts, FROG SPLASHES, and covers, TWO!! Kevin drags Sami up, throws hands, then whips him, to pop-up, but Sami leap frogs and kicks low! Kevin wrenches, ducks a kick, tucks Sami in, PACKAGE USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives and Kevin grows frustrated. Fans fire up with Kevin as he drags Sami back up. Kevin reels Sami in, tucks the arms, but Sami slips out of the package driver to EXPLODER Kevin into buckles! Sami goes corner to corner and HELL-

NO! Kevin dodges the kick, but Sami denies the stunner to BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sami is losing his cool, but he CORNER EXPLODERS to a HALF ‘N’ HALF! To a BRAINBUSTER!! Cover, TWO!?!? Kevin lives and Sami can’t believe it! “This is Awesome!” and far from over as Kevin gets to a corner. Sami SLAPS Kevin, Kevin SLAPS Sami, it’s a FAST & FURIOUS SLAP FIGHT!! Sami gets the edge, throws body shots and uppercuts, but the ref has Sami back off. Sami gets Kevin up, hauls him up top but Kevin fights. Sami still gets Kevin to the top and he headbutts from below!

Sami climbs, brings Kevin back up, but Kevin counters to a SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Even Logan is reeling from that one! Both men are down, Sami slowly sits up and drags himself to a corner. Kevin sits up and is in the opposite corner. Kevin grits his teeth, runs corner to corner at Sami to clothesline! Kevin keeps going, and clotheslines again. Kevin goes, Sami follows, HELLUVA KICK!! Sami keeps Kevin from falling over, and tells him this is because of Kevin. Sami goes corner to corner, into a SUPERKICK!! Sami staggers, into another SUPERKICK!! Fans fire up for Kevin as he looks Sami in the eye. “You did this.” STUNNER!! Cover, Kevin wins!

Winner: Kevin Owens, by pinfall

Logan seems to be the only one shocked, but he still applauds this victory! Whether Kevin has knocked some sense into Sami is yet to be seen, but he did get a big win at #KOMania5! Logan checks on Sami, tries to talk with him, but Sami says someone screwed him! The ref, the managers, someone! Logan tells Kevin that this was awesome stuff. Sami won’t let Logan shake Kevin’s hand! Sami says Kevin conspired against him! Sami wants Logan to listen to him, but Logan shoves Sami! Sami says to hell with Logan! Sami storms off, Logan raises Kevin’s hand in victory. Logan sure is a bandwagoner, huh?

Kevin doesn’t like that, either, and he gives Logan a STUNNER!! “This is MY ring!” Will this win lead Kevin back to another prizefight?

 

Matt Riddle encounters Great Khali!

What’s up, bro! Riddle wants to congrat Khali on being inducted into the HOF. Can he check the ring? Yep. WHOA, look how big his hand is! It’s as big as Riddle’s head. Khali must have a hard time finding gloves and socks. Khali should open a store that sells giant stuff! Giant shoes, giant socks, giant toilets, and giant scooters! What does he think? No? Nothing? Translator? Wait, RVD is here!! RVD translates for Khali and says that in order to corner the market, we’ll need creative branding. RVD has that right here with RVD rolling papers.

Sweet! Hey, what about a #KhaliTrolley? Khali and RVD say Riddle should focus on Sheamus. Good luck from Khali and R! V! D! Riddle rides off towards gorilla, but will he be ready to smoke the Fella?

 

WWE United States Championship: Matt Riddle VS Sheamus!

Bro… The Fella has had beef with Riddle since day one, but perhaps it’s just Riddle’s personality being so nonchalant, it’s like he doesn’t care. Will Riddle show Sheamus how serious he can get with the gold on the line?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and bro, this one’s going to be lit!

Sheamus and Riddle tie up, and Sheamus headlocks to throw Riddle down. Sheamus grinds Riddle, Riddle fights up and powers out, but Sheamus runs Riddle right over! Sheamus is on Riddle with an armlock and he digs a knee in. Sheamus pulls the fingers, but Riddle fights up. Riddle throws body shots, ROCKS and CHOPS Sheamus, then CHOPS him more! Riddle has Sheamus in a corner, fires off but lets off as the ref counts. Sheamus ROCKS Riddle back with a body shot! Sheamus stomps Riddle, drags him up and scoops him, but Riddle slips out to get a sleeper! Riddle’s a backpack with the body scissors, but Sheamus RAMS him into buckles.

Sheamus throws back elbows, lets off but Riddle elbows back. Riddle leaps, into Sheamus’ swinging SLAM! Cover, TWO! Sheamus seethes, kicks Riddle while he’s down, and kicks him against the ropes. The ref reprimands, Sheamus drags Riddle up by his face to then IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Sheamus clamps onto Riddle, Riddle fights up and throws forearms and fast hands! Riddle backs Sheamus down to a corner, but Sheamus kicks back! Sheamus whips, blocks Riddle’s boot but Riddle keeps kicking! Riddle gets a DRAPING ARMBAR! The ref counts, Riddle lets off at 4, but Sheamus CLUBS him back! Sheamus stands Riddle up for Beats of the Bodhrain!

The ref counts but so do fans, and Sheamus gets 8 before the ref gets 4! Sheamus drags Riddle up for a suplex! Cover, TWO! Sheamus seethes again as he paces. Sheamus goes to a corner, goes up top, but Riddle intercepts with a leap, for a SUPER OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY!?! Fans fire up as both men are down on the mat! Riddle fires himself up as he and Sheamus slowly rise. Sheamus throws hands but Riddle counter punches then fires off palm strikes! Riddle boots, spins Sheamus and PELES! Riddle handsprings and runs to forearm smash! Side to side, forearm smash! BROSPLODER, to the BROTON!

Fans fire up as Riddle reels Sheamus in and suplexes, but he has to try again… JACKHAMMER?!? Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survive Riddle’s #Broberg attempt, but Riddle won’t lose focus just yet. Riddle gut wrenches, but Sheamus turns it around! Riddle wriggles free and kicks from below! Sheamus staggers, but he puts Riddle on the apron. Riddle ROUNDHOUSES, then slingshots, into a KNEE!! Cover, TWO!?! Sheamus Alabama lifts for the ALABAMA SLAM! Cover, TWO!!! Riddle survives again and Sheamus grits his teeth. Sheamus looms over Sheamus, brings him up, and fireman’s carries. Riddle fights free, shoves Sheamus to an apron, but Sheamus hits back!

Sheamus fireman’s carries then shifts, but Riddle escapes to POST and then APRON GERMAN Sheamus down! Riddle then aims for a PENALTY KICK, and SPRINGBOARD FLOATING BRO! Direct hit and fans fire up! Riddle gets Sheamus up and in, goes to the top rope, and hits another FLOATING BRO!! Cover, TWO?!?! Sheamus shocks Riddle, but Riddle drags Sheamus in for the REVERSE ARMBAR! Riddle throws hands as Sheamus endures, and Sheamus powers up to dead lift Riddle, for a POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! And into the SLEEPER! Sheamus reaches, crawls, and gets the ropebreak! Riddle lets go fast, and Sheamus hammers away on him!

Sheamus drags Riddle up, smirks as he fireman’s carries, and then carries Riddle up the corner! Riddle shifts, escapes, but Sheamus denies the sunset bomb. Sheamus adjusts up top, but Riddle springs up to ROCK him! Riddle gets Sheamus up but Sheamus counters to the fireman’s carry! Sheamus hops down to hit WHITE NOISE!! Sheamus goes up top for a KING KONG KNEE DROP!! Cover, TWO!?!?! Riddle lives and Sheamus is stunned! Fans rally, Sheamus hobbles back to a corner and fires himself up as he calls his shot! Riddle rises, but he dodges the Brogue to roll Sheamus, FINAL-

NO! No knee, but Riddle dodges to QUE-BRO-DA, INTO A BROGUE?!!? Cover, Sheamus wins!!

Winner: Sheamus, by pinfall (NEW WWE United States Champion)

The Bro tried but couldn’t keep the high, and the Celtic Warrior brought him crashing down! Will Sheamus be the one with his head in the clouds now that he has the gold?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship Nigerian Drum Fight: Big E VS Apollo Crews!

These two used to be good friends, but the frustration of losing and the desire to reign drove Apollo to despise Big E. Apollo calls upon his ancestors to finally make him a champion, but will Big E finally turn away his most stubborn of challengers?

As Big E makes his entrance, Wale performs it life for Tampa! “Ey, Tampa! You wanna go big? Then say that!” The introductions are made, there are drums, tables, kendo sticks and a gong ringside as the title is raised and this BIG grudge match begins!

Apollo and Big E go right out to get weapons! They each have a kendo stick, both men say to the other, “This is what you wanted!” And they start giving each other SMACKS! Smack for smack but Big E gets the edge! Apollo bails out, Big E pursues to SMACK him again! And another SMACK! “This is what he wanted, Graves!” But Apollo kicks low, only for Big E to bowl Apollo into drums! Big E gets the gong! Apollo boots it away, clubs Big E then SMACKS Big E with a kendo stick! Big E goes into the ring, Apollo dares him to stand. Big E dodges, throws Apollo to the apron and runs to SPEAR him off!! That might’ve been a distance record! Big E puts Apollo in to cover, TWO!

Big E keeps his cool as fans rally up behind him. Big E fetches the steel steps, one of Apollo’s favorites from the months past. But he isn’t settling for the smaller top half. Big E goes big by bringing the base over! Big E goes to the apron, brings Apollo up but Apollo fireman’s carries! APRON DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Apollo drags Big E in to cover, TWO!! Big E survives but Apollo won’t let off! Apollo throws down angry fists, then goes out to fetch the top half of the steps. Apollo brings those around, sets them on their end, and then he stomps Big E to the apron. Apollo has Big E on the base, he picks up the top half of the steps, and he lines up the shot!

“I’m about to show you the steel!” Big E moves before the steps SMASH down!! Apollo hurries to get to the apron, and he runs at Big E to BOOT him! Big E flounders, Apollo wants him to stand up again, but Big E gives him an Urenag-E to the STEPS!! The ref checks on Apollo but somehow he’s okay to continue. “This is what you wanted!” Big E says Apollo is going to get what he asked for! Fans fire up as Big E fetches a TABLE! Big E puts the table in the ring, sets it up, and then fetches Apollo. Apollo staggers up to his feet, Big E puts him in the ring, but Apollo ENZIGURIS Big E down!

Apollo gets a kendo stick to SMACK and SMACK and SMACK, rapid fire! So fast and so hard, the stick breaks apart! Apollo gets Big E on the table, then heads for a corner. Apollo climbs, leaps, FROG SPLASH but Big E moves! Apollo only gets table! Big E scoops, for the BIG ENDING!! But who is that?!? DABBA KATO!?!? What’s he doing here?!? GRENADE THUMB ATTACK!! And then, a CHOKE SLAM!! He’s helping Apollo to the cover! Apollo wins!!

Winner: Apollo Crews, by pinfall (NEW WWE Intercontinental Champion)

When did Apollo make Kato one of his generals?! The timing doesn’t matter, the results do! And now, Apollo has the title! What will this mean for the future of SmackDown?

 

WWE honors the 2021 Hall of Fame class!

The 2021 Warrior Award winner, Rich Hering stands with the Great Khali, Rob Van Damn, Molly Holly and Eric Bischoff on stage, and are joined by KAAAAAAANE~! And for old times’ sake, the HELLFIRE & BRIMSTONE erupt!

 

Raw Women’s Championship: Asuka VS Rhea Ripley!

The Empress of Tomorrow wanted someone to step up to challenge her, and the Nightmare did just that! Will we see that even now, no one is ready for Asuka? Or will she be washed away by the Riptide?

Rhea has New Year’s Day perform her theme live for her! The introductions are made, the title is raised, and we see who is ready for what!

Asuka and Rhea stare down as fans rally up. They circle, talk some trash back and forth, and Asuka mocks Rhea. Rhea rushes, Asuka dodges and dropkicks! Rhea stays up, but storms into Asuka’s strike fest! Asuka kicks, runs, Rhea follows but Asuka victory rolls! ONE, but Asuka backslides! Rhea rolls through but Asuka dropkicks her to a corner! Asuka runs in, misses the hip attack, but boots back! Rhea snarls, ducks a kick and ROCKS Asuka! Rhea runs but Asuka drop toeholds her into buckles, then KICKS the buck to jam Rhea! Rhea bails out and Asuka grins as fans duel. Asuka eggs Rhea on, Rhea slides in but then right back out.

Asuka goes after Rhea, keeps Rhea from going into the ring to then pop-up KNEE! Rhea gets in the ring now, Asuka follows and has Rhea on ropes. Asuka KICKS Rhea in the back, KICKS again, and again, and again! The ref reprimands, Asuka runs but Rhea dodges the hip attack to HOOK KICK! Rhea drags Asuka right back up to back suplex to a SLAM! Cover, TWO! Rhea is annoyed already as she drags Asuka and rains down fists! “You wanted this! You! Wanted! This!” Fans rally and duel as Rhea keeps on Asuka. Rhea drags Asuka into a body scissors and squeezes tight! Rhea shouts in Asuka’s face but Asuka elbows Rhea’s legs.

Rhea clamps tighter, digs Asuka into the mat and slaps her around! Rhea dares the champ to do something now, then brings her back into the squeeze! Asuka tells Rhea to shut up and she throws elbows. Asuka pushes back to a cover, ONE, and Rhea dropkicks Asuka! Rhea tells Asuka to get that weak sauce out of here. Rhea kicks Asuka around, Asuka hits back and the two brawl. Rhea KNEES low, SLAPS her, then CLOBBERS her! And again! Rhea drags Asuka up again, but Asuka ducks, only for Rhea to ripcord! Asuka blocks the Hook Kick to a KNEEBAR! Rhea endures, fights up, but Asuka pulls tighter! Rhea makes it a cover, TWO, but Rhea dead lift GERMAN SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO!!

Asuka survives and Rhea grits her teeth while clutching her foot. Rhea slaps Asuka around, then CLUBS her in the corner! Rhea drags Asuka up, bumps her off buckles, then kicks her while she’s down. Rhea RAMS into Asuka’s back over and over and digs her shoulder in. Rhea lets off as the ref counts, then puts Asuka up top. Rhea CLUBS Asuka, climbs up behind her, and stands her up, but Asuka blocks! Asuka throws elbows and then knocks Rhea down! Asuka fires up as she adjusts, then leaps for a missile dropkick! Direct hit and both women are down! Fans fire up as Asuka rises and aims at Rhea from a corner. Rhea gets up, Asuka runs in, ROUNDHOUSE! GERMAN SUPLEX!

Rhea flounders to a corner, Asuka runs in to HIP ATTACK! Rhea fights the German but Asuka BACK HANDS, CHOPS and HEEL KICKS! Rhea falls to her knees, Asuka hits another HIP ATTACK! Cover, TWO!! Rhea is in a daze but she is still in this! Asuka goes to a corner, climbs up top again, but Rhea dropkicks her down to the floor!! Rhea wobbles, Asuka gets back in, and Rhea shakes out the cobwebs to go out after Asuka. Rhea blocks Asuka’s boots but Asuka elbows Rhea away! Rhea blocks the Penalty Kick, to SLAM Asuka on the apron! The ring count is climbing, Rhea gets Asuka in at 5 of 10! Rhea hurries to get up but Asuka hip attacks her down!

Asuka goes out after Rhea again, brings her around, but Rhea fights. Rhea can’t get free, Asuka DDT’s her OFF the apron and to the FLOOR! Both women are down and another ring count begins! Asuka gets in at 5, Rhea sits up at 6. Rhea gets in at 7, but Asuka is there, SLIDING WIZARD! Cover, TWO! Asuka grows frustrated but she drags Rhea up for Kowata Kicks! Over and over and over, then Asuka smiles as she runs, but Rhea blocks the sliding kick! Rhea stomps away on Asuka! Rhea puts Asuka’s legs in the PRISM TRAP!! Asuka endures the hanging cloverleaf, reaches for ropes, but rolls Rhea to an ARMBAR!! Rhea flails and kicks, fights up to dead lift again!

Rhea SWINGS Asuka into buckles! Both women are down but Asuka goes to the apron. Rhea storms over, climbs up and drags Asuka up for a headbutt! Rhea brings Asuka up higher, for a DEAD LIFT SUPERPLEX! Cover, TWO!! Asuka still lives and Rhea is furious! Rhea drags Asuka up and clubs her. Asuka shoves free, Rhea waistlocks but Asuka elbows her again. Asuka wrenches to get a takedown! Rhea rolls, but into an ARMBAR! Rhea makes it a cover, TWO, and ASUKA LOCK!! Rhea rolls back to make it a cover, TWO!! Asuka unleashes KICKS! Rhea manages to stay up and even eggs Asuka on. BUZZSAW, but then Rhea ducks the sliding wizard! Pump handle, RIPTIDE!!! Rhea wins!!!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall (NEW Raw Women’s Champion)

All it takes is one! And now, the Nightmare becomes the first woman to be NXT UK, NXT and Raw Women’s Champion in her career! Are Mondays about to become a nightmare for every other woman on Raw?

 

Hogan and Titus are back!

Hogan is totally blown away, brother! Titus says on behalf of them both, they send a hert-felt thank you, the fans at home watching on the Peacock and the WWE Network, and those who made it special for everyoen involved: the fans here live at Raymond James Stadium! Bayley storms out because she has just had enough! You kidding me?! Thanking the world and the audience?! But not one mention about BAYLEY. In fact, where is HER pyro?! Hit the pyro!! Oh, there is pyro ready for Bayley.

HAHAHA, YES! Bayley has been carrying the hosting duties on her back this weekend, from the legends to the hall-of-famers to stupid Michael Cole! This is HER time to shine, okay? But wait, here come the Bella Twins! Nikki & Brie don’t even get to start because Bayley said this is HER time! It doesn’t matter what these two twin idiots lookin’ like Elmo want, Cena ain’t here! Nikki SLAPS Bayley, and Brie says Ding Dong, GOOD-BYE! Nikki ROCKS Bayley, Brie hits a KNEE SMASH! The Bellas bowl Bayley down the ramp! Titus repeats, “Ding dong, good-bye!” Will Bayley make sure she isn’t outnumbered before she runs her mouth?

 

WWE Universal Championship Triple Threat: Roman Reigns w/ Jey Uso & Paul Heyman VS Edge VS Daniel Bryan!

The Tribal Chief wants the world to #AcknowledgeHim. The Rated R Superstar wants to take back what was taken from him so long ago. And the GOAT wants to bring back #YEStleMania before he’s reached the end! What happens when all these forces collide in THE main event of WrestleMania 37?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and 10 years ago to the day, we see if Edge is finally, truly back!

Roman DECKS Bryan! Edge hits Roman but Roman puts Edge in a corner and RAMS him! Roman throws clotheslines, Bryan gets Roman with EuroUppers! Bryan whips, Roman reverses and sends Bryan out, for Jey to SUPERKICK! No DQ in a Triple Threat! Jey RAMS Bryan into steel steps, Roman ROCKS Edge with an uppercut! Roman throws Edge out, Jey SUPERKICKS him down! GOTTEE! Roman backs the commentary off to clear off the desk. Jey brings Edge over, but Bryan DIVES into Roman! Jey SUPERKICKS Bryan, keeps after Edge, but Edge whips Jey into steel steps! Jey is down, Edge storms after Roman and clubs him on the back.

Edge bumps Roman off apron, off barriers, and repeat! Roman is a pinball for Edge! Edge POSTS Roman, then storms over to see Bryan still down. Edge gets steel steps and takes the top half off. Fans fire up as Edge sees Jey still down, too, and brings him over to the steps! Edge gets Jey up for an IMPALER to the steps!! But it was double-edged as Edge had to land on the steel, too! Bryan gets up while refs and medics check on Jey. They get Jey up while everyone else is still down, but Bryan gets into the ring. Edge scares Heyman away and gets in the ring. Edge and Bryan stare down while Roman only stirs. Fans fire up as Edge and Bryan start throwing hands!

Edge gets the edge, he whips but Bryan drop toeholds Edge into buckles! Bryan gives Edge YES Kicks in the corner! Bryan hoists Edge up top, climbs up to join him, and SUPER STEINERS, but Edge sunset flips it! TWO!! Edge gets around to EDGE-O-MATIC! Cover, TWO! Bryan is down, Roman is back and he ROCKS Edge! Edge and Roman brawl with the ropes between them but Roman drags Edge up to suplex! Edge resists, suplexes but Roman resists. They fight for suplex control, Bryan slides under to trip up Roman and hotshot Edge! Bryan climbs up and missile dropkicks Edge down! Bryan kips up, fires up and fans are with him!

Bryan drags Edge up, throws EuroUppers, and Edge ends up on ropes. Bryan whips Edge but Edge reverses. Bryan goes up and over and keeps moving, dodges to DIVE into Roman, but into an OVERHEAD BELLY2BELLY! Roman stands, Edge WRECKS him with a dropkick! Roman bumps into desk and Edge follows him. Edge CLUBS Roman, puts him in, but Roman runs to LEAPING LARIAT! Roman seethes, fans duel as they cheer and jeer, but Roman locks ‘n’ loads! SUPER- NO! Edge gets him for an IMPALER!! Edge aims at Roman from a corner now, and fans are fired up for something we haven’t seen in quite some time!

Edge dares Roman to get up, and then he runs in, but Roman SUPERMAN PUNCHES! Roman fires up and wants Edge to stand now! “OOOAH~!” Edge dodges the Spear to sunset flip! TWO!! Roman staggers, Edge and Roman dodge, DOUBLE SPEARS!! Shoulders and heads collide and both men are down as fans fire up! “This is Awesome!” already and far from over! Bryan returns! DIVING HEADBUTT to Edge! DIVING HEADBUTT to Roman! Cover on Roman, TWO!! Bryan is surprised but he doesn’t lose his cool. Bryan sees Edge sit up, and gives him a YES Kick! YES Kick for Roman! KICK for Edge! KICK for Roman! EDGE! ROMAN! EDGE! ROMAN! EDGE!

Bryan aims at Roman, BUZZ- NO! Roman sends Bryan at Edge, RUNNING KNEE! Roman reloads but runs into a KICK! BUZZSAW!! Cover, TWO!!! Roman survives but Bryan just fires up! Bryan gets the arms, and gives Roman a flurry of Danielson Stomps! Then the YES LOCK!!! Roman flails, Heyman panics, and Bryan cranks back as hard as he can! Edge CLOBBERS Bryan off the hold! Heyman is relieved but now Edge drags Bryan up. Bryan drags Edge down to a YES LOCK!! Now Edge and his bad neck endure!! Edge claws at the hold, but Roman CLOBBERS Bryan now! Roman rains down furious forearms over and over from all sides! Roman lets off just to throw headbutts!

Roman dead lifts Bryan to POWERBOMB him onto Edge! Roman scrapes Bryan out of the ring, goes out after him, and sees the announce desk. Fans jeer, “Roman Sucks!” but Roman just soaks up the heat. Roman puts the base steps closer to the desk, then drags Bryan up. Bryan is dead weight, the fans taunt Roman even harder, but Roman hauls Bryan up to POWERBOMB him through the desk!! But Edge SPEARS Roman outta nowhere!! Fans lose their minds as all three men are down and out! Edge gets up first, and he drags Roman into the ring. Edge looks around, and fetches not just one but a PAIR of chairs! Edge sets one down, Roman steps on it! They tug o’ war, the chair goes flying!

Roman wants the guillotine, but Edge gets Roman down to a CROSSFACE! Bryan puts on the YES LOCK!! They headbutt each other!! Roman is down, Bryan headbutts Edge into the mat! Bryan fires off his rage into those forearms on Edge!! Fans again say, “THIS IS AWESOME!” as Bryan has Edge’s arms. Bryan gives Edge DANIELSON STOMPS!! Bryan lets off, aims from a corner, and powers up with the Yes Fingers! The fans join in, though there are some “NO” dissenters. Edge gets up, Bryan runs in, into a SPEAR!!! Edge staggers, dodges Roman to SPEAR!!! Cover, BRYAN YANKS THE REF OUT!! Edge can’t believe it, but wouldn’t he have done the same in return?

Edge goes out after Bryan, gets MORE chairs, and brings those to the ring. Edge SMACKS Bryan down with one! Edge puts Bryan in the ring, and has as wild look as he gets the chair again to SMACK Roman! And SMACK Bryan! ROMAN! BRYAN! SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!! Fans are thunderous as Edge puts Bryan onto one chair. And then Edge puts Roman on another chair. Edge has it all lined up and fans go nuts knowing it! Heyman is begging Edge not to, but CONCHAIRTO TO BRYAN!!! But Jey returns, and attacks Edge!! Jey beats Edge down, gets a chair, but Edge SPEARS him down!! Edge SMACKS Jey! And again! And again!

Roman SPEARS Edge!! Roman sets Edge up on a chair now!? Roman gives EDGE a CONCHAIRTO!! Roman drags Edge onto Bryan to double cover, Roman wins!!

Winner: Roman Reigns, by pinall (still WWE Universal Champion)

The Tribal Chief is still the Reigns-ing, Defending and Undisputed, but also the ALWAYS controverted Universal Heavyweight Champion of the world because he still has his Right Hand Man watching his back! Will the Head of the Table ever be removed from the throne upon which he sits? Was this really the last chance Bryan had to bring back #YEStleMania? Was this really the end of the Rated R Superstar’s comeback?


My Thoughts:

I don’t think I have to say it, but I will: Night Two did not live up to Night One. As far as I’m concerned, titles that should’ve changed didn’t and titles that shouldn’t have changed did. Or at least, not in the way they should have. One of the only non-title matches tonight, Orton VS Fiend, was good but not at all what I expected. I thought we were going to get one full match with “mangled” Fiend, but I guess that’s what Fastlane was for. Fiend 2.0 looks pretty good, and goes even further into referencing DC Comics’ Joker. I was hoping that as the first match of the night, we would’ve gotten cinematic fighting so we could get a pseudo Firefly Fun House.

Also, I like whatever that new form Alexa takes, too, but I did not like that she distracted Fiend. Fiend didn’t have to win here, but he didn’t have to lose like that. I don’t like the idea that they’re trying to make it seem like whatever is possessing Alexa is now turning on Fiend just to push this forward in a new direction. And with Backlash sadly being made into WrestleMania Backlash, like a weird third night or something, we are revisiting this to figure out the what and why of tonight. Sigh…

The other non-title match, Kevin VS Sami, was just one degree off what it could’ve been but it was still great. I almost thought that segment at the end with Logan bandwagon’ing to Kevin was going to unite Sami and Kevin against Logan Paul. Instead, they both dislike him, just separate from each other. Maybe one day, Sami and Kevin will patch things up in kayfabe and go after tag titles. And speaking of tag titles, the Women’s Tag Team title match was great stuff, but I really wish Tamina & Natty won that. I do appreciate that Reggie wasn’t ringside to be used for various things, because in the end, Shayna & Nia sticking together does help the division. I just feel that the RawDown Women’s Tag titles need to spend more time on SmackDown than they do Raw right now, out of fairness.

Bayley was pretty entertaining tonight, but the Bellas getting the better of her was clearly a WWE management decision because fans were not for it. And I was surprised Titus and Hogan saved their pirate costumes for night two, those should’ve been night one. Riddle VS Sheamus was another great slug fest, and I like that Riddle referenced Goldberg with a Jackhammer. Seems The Bro hasn’t given up on getting a match with him. But it was an even split to me who could’ve gotten this, so giving Sheamus some vindication was alright.

The Nigerian Drum Fight was pretty good, but I expected the drums to play into it more. And same for the gong as soon as I saw it there. But it was still a very good themed No Hold Barred, just not sure why we needed Dabba-Kato to get involved. Do all Heels in WWE need to have henchmen helping them now? Except for Lashley, at least, since he’s The All Mighty. But Apollo getting the title was the part that was right, as this was his fourth attempt, and losing again would’ve been rough for him. Maybe Big E gets a match with Kato at WrestleMania Backlash, wins that and then starts chasing Apollo going into Money in the Bank or Extreme Rules.

Asuka VS Rhea was an awesome match, definitely worthy of the title and of Mania. But maybe this was just a bit soon for Rhea? Asuka hasn’t really gotten big wins lately, given she didn’t get to have her match with Lacey Evans at Elimination Chamber and didn’t have anything at Fastlane. I mean, obviously what is bad for one is good for the other, and Rhea is rising up fast and keeping pace with Bianca Belair. I wonder if WWE is already thinking that Survivor Series 2021, wherever it will be, will see Rhea VS Bianca as the champions. Hopefully they throw NXT in so Raquel Gonzalez can be part of it.

The Triple Threat Universal Championship match was awesome stuff, and I do like that they took advantage of the No Disqualification stipulation. Jey interfering early was fine, because he gets taken out for it. But him returning and helping Roman again just hurt everything they’d built up. If Roman found a way to use Bryan and Edge against each other to then get the win, that would’ve felt less disappointing. And if not for “WrestleMania Backlash” being next, I would’ve thought Roman was moving right on to Cesaro given Cesaro won on Night One. Instead, there might be that tag match “meant” to happen at Fastlane and WWE going back to the status quo of phoning it in on the minor PPV’s.

My Score: 8.3/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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