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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (5/10/21)

A brutal battle before Backlash!

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Coverage Raw 2021

Raw rocks the ThunderDome just days before WrestleMania Backlash!

Though a Triple Threat is in their future, Bobby Lashley and Drew McIntyre clash in a true WrestleMania rematch right here on Monday Night Raw!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Six Woman Tag: Asuka, Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Charlotte Flair, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler; Asuka, Mandy & Dana win.
  • Jeff Hardy VS Jinder Mahal w/ Shanky & Veer; Mahal wins.
  • 8 Man Tag: The New Day & RKBRO VS AJ Styles, Omos, Elias & Jaxson Ryker; The New Day & RKBRO win.
  • Sheamus VS Humberto Carrillo; Sheamus wins, by referee stoppage.
  • Cedric Alexander VS Shelton Benjamin; Benjamin wins.
  • Asuka VS Rhea Ripley; Ripley wins.
  • Damian Priest VS John Morrison w/ The Miz; Priest wins and chooses Lumberjack Match for the stipulation in his match with The Miz at #WrestleManiaBacklash.
  • Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins, by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

Six Woman Tag: Asuka, Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke VS Charlotte Flair, Nia Jax & Shayna Baszler!

The Empress of Tomorrow joins forces with the #SexyMuscleFriends to stand against common enemies! Will Asuka prove the Queen is not ready? Or will the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions help Charlotte stand strong before the Triple Threat title match at #WrestleManiaBacklash?

The teams sort out and Nia starts with Mandy. Nia makes fun of Mandy’s poses and footwork as they circle. Nia rushes Mandy, Mandy dodges and fires off forearms but Nia shoves her away. Nia runs in but Mandy dodges again, to swing on Charlotte! Nia CLOBBERS Mandy for that, tags Shayna in, and they mug Mandy. Charlotte holds Mandy down as Shayna digs her boots in, but the ref counts. They let off, Shayna gets Mandy up to wrench to a double wristlock. Mandy endures as Shayna goes after different angles. Shayna waistlocks and drags Mandy down to then float to a facelock. Mandy fights up, powers up and RAMS Shayna into the corner!

Mandy rams shoulders in, Shayna swipes at Dana but Asuka tags in. Asuka stomps Shayna down, Shayna shoves her but runs into a waistlock. Shayna wrenches out to headlock but Asuka powers out. Asuka then follows and dropkicks Shayna down! Shaya bails out, Mandy and Dana take care of Nia and Charlotte! Reggie protests but flips away as Dana swipes at him. Nia, Shayna and Charlotte get in to argue with their opponents, but… Alexa Bliss shows up on stage? She and Lily sit on their swing set and she says, “Oops. Did we interrupt things? We’re sorry~! Well, I am. Lily’s not.” Lily and Alexa wanted to keep their eyes on a certain someone. Alexa laughs and everyone is confused, as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Charlotte stomps a mudhole into Mandy. The ref counts, Alexa is still watching from her playground, and Charlotte puts Mandy in headscissors to dribble her head into the mat! Charlotte squeezes tight, Mandy endures and her team coach her up, but Charlotte reaches out. Tag to Shayna, she stomps Mandy down, then drags her up while Alexa talks to Lily. Shayna wrenches the arm for a keylock and then a SLAM! Cover, TWO! Shayna stays between Mandy and her team to get another double wristlock. Shayna drags Mandy over, tags Nia in, and feeds Mandy to Nia’s scoop and SLAM! Cover, TWO!

Nia keeps on Mandy with a seated cobra clutch. Mandy endures as Nia leans on her and the fans rally up. Mandy fights up, hits a short jawbreaker then fires off forearms! Mandy steadies herself, runs, but into a fireman’s carry! Mandy fights free, tags Dana, and Dana fires off on Nia! Nia DECKS Dana, tags Shayna, and Shayna kicks. Dana dodges to DECK Charlotte, then she LARIATS Shayna! Dana fires up, handsprings and back elbows to a BULLDOG! Cover, TWO! Dana keeps her cool as she keeps on Shayna, Shayna reverses the whip to get a swinging BACKBREAKER! Shayna drags Dana over but her leg jams! Hot tag to Asuka!

Asuka DECKS Nia, SHINING WIZARD to Shayna! Cover, Asuka’s team wins!!

Winners: Asuka, Mandy Rose & Dana Brooke, by pinfall

But Charlotte BOOTS Asuka down before she can celebrate! A misstep from Shayna cost Charlotte, but Alexa laughs. Did she and Lily have something to do with this? Does the Women’s Division need an exorcism?

 

The New Day talk backstage.

Matt Riddle scoots in again and surprises them. He thanks them for the registration forms, because in a couple weeks, RKBRO will be official! You love to see it! Yes, it is a little known fact that superstars must register to be in the WWE Tag Division. Unlike the frauds, AJ Styles & Omos! Speaking of, what do they have planned for tonight’s match? Some #Bromatoes for Elias & Ryker? No, they ran out of those. But how about hitting them in the head with #Bronutts? Yeah, but Riddle’s out of those, too. Imagine if they could get Omos with just one big tomato! It’d be hilarious.

Almost as funny as last week when Randy Orton got hit with them. It was like a cartoon, like in SpongeBob when Squidward got hit with toma- What? What’s wrong? Is something behind him? Yes… Is it that creepy doll, Lily? No… It’s Orton! Oh hey, how are you, Randy? They were just talking about the funny thing that happened last week. Kofi apologizes that Orton ended up in the middle of things, but Kofi wasn’t that upset. If they knew Orton was going to get hit, Woods would’ve shielded him. Nah, it was priceless. Even Orton has to admit that was funny. Orton asks if Riddle really thought that was funny. A little.

Do you know what Orton finds funny? Ending careers, killing legends and kicking people in the head. Oh, and setting things on fire. See you guys out there. Wild. Let’s catch up later. Get it? HAHAHA! Okay laters! Will Riddle, Orton and the New Day be able to laugh about this down the road? Or will Styles, Omos, the Drifter and his follower ruin the fun?

 

MVP visits Braun Strowman’s dressing room.

MVP knocks on the door, listens to see if anyone is inside, and decides to walk in. Braun is talking with a staffer, but then turns around to see MVP. “Get out of my locker room.” MVP says he just wants to talk business. Well he doesn’t want to talk with MVP! Now hold on, MVP knows Braun is a smart guy so he should hear MVP out. Last week, Lashley didn’t beat Braun, McIntyre did. And the All Mighty knows that, too. Lashley says Braun is the strongest person he’s fought, and if not for McIntyre, Lashley might’ve lost. Braun doesn’t believe the BS and gets to business. MVP says if Lashley had to lose the title, not that he will, but he’d rather lose it to Braun than McIntyre.

McIntyre’s had the title, faced Lashley for it before, but Braun hasn’t. So if somehow, McIntyre got hurt and couldn’t compete at Backlash this Sunday, then it’d be a 1v1 match between the Monster Among Men and the All Mighty. Surely Braun sees how that can benefit all parties involved. Braun doesn’t like MVP. MVP gets that. But he doesn’t take it personal. This is business. MVP takes his leave, but will Braun see things his way?

 

BREAKING NEWS!

Just approved by WWE management, Damian Priest will look to settle things with The Miz once and for all! They will go 1v1 at #WrestleManiaBacklash! Speaking of which…

 

Damian Priest talks with Adam Pearce backstage.

They both know they need the opinion of The Miz, too. Hence why Miz and John Morrison walk in. They ask why Priest is still in here. Shouldn’t he be busy drying off after “getting drenched by the most moist-see superstar,” Johnny Drip Drip? What? The reason for this meeting is that Priest had an idea that would work out for everyone. Why would Miz want to listen to Priest? Because Priest has beaten him and Morrison up nonstop and he has an idea how to make this more interesting. Morrison says he would’ve won if not for… Uh, y’know. Miz can’t believe him! They can all see Morrison pointing to Miz! Really? But he was being really subtle.

Miz says what matters is that Morrison will win tonight, and Miz will win at Backlash! Then let’s raise the stakes. If Morrison wins, he chooses the stipulation for Priest VS Miz. But if Priest wins, he chooses the stipulation. Why would Miz put his fate in someone else’s ha- Challenge accepted! John, do you realize what you’re doing?! Yes, he’s guaranteeing that they get to pick the stipulation! Fine… Morrison takes out his sunglasses and tells Priest to bring a coat. Tonight’s forecast calls for a light drizzle, courtesy of Johnny Drip Drip. What is up with him and “drip?” But will Morrison drop the ball and put Miz in an unwinnable situation?

 

Jinder Mahal speaks.

“I am Jinder Mahal, and nothing smells better than fresh competition.” The Modern Day Maharaja is excited to be back on Monday Night Raw! But he hasn’t come alone! He has allies in Veer and Shanky, and we will all be reminded why Mahal is a former WWE World Champion! Mahal and his new followers head to the ring, because we’re also going to see the return of the Charismatic Enigma, Jeff Hardy!

Jeff Hardy VS Jinder Mahal w/ Shanky & Veer!

Raw returns as Hardy makes his entrance. The bell rings and Hardy goes right after Mahal with haymakers! The ref backs him off but Hardy SHOTGUN dropkicks Mahal to a corner! Hardy fires off, whips, but Mahal reverses. Hardy kicks the back drop away but Mahal KNEES the jawbreaker, to then BOOT him down! Cover, TWO! Mahal stomps Hardy at the ropes, lets off as the ref counts, and he drags Hardy up by his hair. Mahal CLUBS Hardy on the back, stomps him down, then runs to drop a knee! Mahal gets Hardy up, throws more hands, stomps him down again, then drags him back up. Mahal reels Hardy in to suplex high and hard!

Veer and Shanky cheer Hardy on as Mahal throws down elbows and drives in knees. Mahal puts on a half nelson chinbar but Hardy endures. Hardy fights up but Mahal wraps on a chinlock. Fans rally, Mahal wrangles Hardy down, but Hardy still endures. Mahal cranks back, brings Hardy around, but Hardy fights up to fight out. JAWBREAKER! Mahal staggers, Hardy kicks but Mahal blocks, so Hardy spin back kicks! Hardy counter punches, throws haymakers, but Mahal shoves. Hardy dodges to DECK Mahal! Hardy wants an atomic drop but Mahal CLUBS him down! Mahal pushes Hardy to a corner but runs into boots!

Hardy goes up top, leaps, and ax handles Mahal down! Hardy fires up, throws off the shirt, and kicks low. Mahal denies the Twist of Fate to KNEE Hardy in the head! Mahal drags Hardy into the cobra clutch, for the KALLAS! Cover, Mahal wins!

Winner: Jinder Mahal, by pinfall

One former world champion conquers another, and Mahal is ready to climb the mountain again! Will he and his mountainous allies soon tower over all of Raw?

 

Sonya Deville is on the phone.

She finishes up some business before Charlotte Flair walks in. Charlotte looks to be asking Sonya for something, is she bound to get her way again?

 

Elias and Jaxson Ryker meet up backstage.

And they’ve got more tomatoes! Ryker has enough to take out the New Day, Riddle AND Orton! Nice! But Styles asks what is all this. Ryker says they have a chance to get revenge for those rotten tomatoes weeks ago! Elias also has a song to honor this team-up! He plays a bit of it but Styles says no. No tomatoes, no songs, even though Elias is good. And yes, Styles shaved his beard down to more of a goatee so he’s more aerodynamic. But these are the Raw Tag Team Champions! Let’s take this seriously, alright? Right, of course. Styles tosses Omos a tomato, and Omos says this is gonna be their opponents! He squashes the tomato with just one hand! They hate tomatoes anyway.

 

8 Man Tag: The New Day & RKBRO VS AJ Styles, Omos, Elias & Jaxson Ryker!

No tomatoes, no songs, no fun and games! The Viper and the Phenomenal One agree that it’s time to bring the pain! But who will deal it and who will feel it after the break?

Raw returns and Orton makes his entrance, followed by the New Day. Orton and Riddle aren’t technically tag division official so them making separate entrances is still fine. Then Elias and Ryker enter, followed by the champions, Styles and Omos. The teams sort out, Riddle starts with Elias and the two tie up. Riddle goes for a leg, Elias blocks but Riddle shifts to knuckle locks and a monkey flip to ARMBAR! Elias scrambles to get a ropebreak with his legs! Riddle lets off and Ryker tags in. Riddle and Ryker tie up, Riddle hits a headlock takeover but Ryker headscissors. Riddle moves around, pops free and PENALTY KICKS! Ryker gets right up and Riddle eggs him on!

But now Omos tags in! Riddle goes after Omos with body shots but Omos just TOSSES him away! Riddle comes back but the kick is blocked and Omos FLIPS Riddle! Woods gets in, Omos BOOTS him! Kofi runs in but Omos clamps onto his head with both hands! Omos HEADBUTTS Kofi down, then drags him up to throw him to the corner! Orton tags in and Styles warns Omos to watch him! The Viper was ready, but the towering titan staring him down keeps him back. Orton regroups with his team as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Elias stomps Riddle down! Elias gets Riddle at ropes, throws forearms, but Riddle hits back. Elias throws body shots, stomps Elias to the corner but lets off as the ref counts. Tag to Ryker, he and Elias whip Riddle to elbow him down, drop ax handles and cover, TWO! Ryker gets Riddle up, tags in Styles, then hits Riddle with a BIG back suplex! Styles covers, TWO! Styles keeps Riddle from his team, Riddle fires off body shots, but Styles DECKS him with a forearm! Styles gets Riddle up, suplexes but Riddle slips out! Tag to Kofi! Kofi tags in Woods and both fire off kicks on Styles! BASEMENT COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO!

Woods drags Styles up, Styles throat chops Woods! Styles whips, Woods dodges and Kofi tags in. Woods gets around Styles to shove him at Kofi and Kofi shoulders into him! Woods then rolls Styles, Kofi goes up and leaps, FROGGY CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO! Styles survives but Kofi keeps between him and his corner. Kofi whips Styles away, hits a splash and tags in Woods. Woods climbs, Kofi scoops, BACKBREAKER to Styles, but Elias KNEES Kofi down! The ref reprimands Elias but Styles gets away. Woods missile dropkicks Elias down! Styles gives a SPINEBUSTER to Woods! Tag to Ryker, he covers, ONE!! Woods is still in this but Ryker puts him in a corner for stomps!

Ryker lets off as the ref counts, Riddle protests, but Ryker drags Woods up to bump him off buckles. Tag to Elias, Elias whips Ryker in and Ryker CLOBBERS Woods! Feed to Elias’ SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Woods reaches but Elias stands over him. Elias drags Woods away, digs his knee into Woods’ back, then bumps Woods off buckles. Elias CHOPS Woods but Woods fires off hands and CHOPS of his own! Elias scoops Woods for a big SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Ryker tags in and stomps Woods down, then drags him into a camel clutch! Woods endures, reaches out for his corner, and fights up as fans rally. JAWBREAKER!

Ryker wobbles, Woods crawls but Ryker reels him back in! Ryker CLUBS Woods down, whips him, and hits a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO!! Woods has survived four spinebusters but Ryker tags Elias in. They mug Woods with shots to his ribs, then Elias CLUBS away on Woods’ back! Elias hits an ANARCHY SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Elias keeps on Woods with a chinlock but the fans fire up. Woods endures the knee in his back, Riddle and even Orton clap “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” Woods fights up, Elias gets him up, but no spinebuster this time! Sunset flip, TWO! Elias boots but misses, hot tag to Riddle! The Bro gives Elias a FINAL FLASH!

Ryker gets in, he gets a BROSPLODER! Riddle DECKS Styles, forearms Elias, but Elias fights off the Brosploder with elbows! Elias whips, Riddle reverses, Elias goes up but Riddle catches him to a BRO DEREK!! Cover, Omos breaks it! Omos drags Riddle up, throws him to the corner, and Orton tags in! Riddle goes up, leaps, but Omos CLUBS him! Kofi trips up Styles, Woods dodges Omos to WRECK Styles with a dropkick! Omos is looking all around, and can only watch as the New Day play merry-go-round with Styles’ legs! Omos chases after them, Orton returns and RKO’s Elias!! Cover, RKBRO and New Day win!!

Winners: The New Day, Randy Orton & Matt Riddle, by pinfall

Veteran wisdom takes advantage of Omos’ inexperience! Riddle holds up Orton’s hand, but Orton glares at him. He isn’t one for celebrating so Riddle lets the hand down. Riddle celebrates with the New Day, but then Orton RKO’s Woods!! Kofi gets mad, storms over, into an RKO!! Riddle can’t believe what just happened! “How are we gonna have friends if you keep doing stuff like this?!” Surprisingly, Orton doesn’t RKO Riddle. Once a Viper, always a Viper, but will that be just what helps make Orton and Riddle future tag team champions?

 

Rhea Ripley talks to Sonya Deville.

Rhea wants to know what this meeting is about, and Sonya says she will explain once Asuka arrives. Asuka does shortly after, and Sonya keeps this from happening in the office. This will be a peaceful resolution, please and thank you. Sonya knows these two have been after each other for weeks, and she was given an idea on how to solve the problem. These two will resolve their issues so they can focus on Sunday. Tonight, they will go 1v1! And whose idea was this? Sonya won’t tell. This is Charlotte, isn’t it? She was in here earlier! She wants these two to tear each other apart so Charlotte can have an even easier time!

Asuka points out she already had a match tonight. But she will gladly do it again because she’s ready for Rhea! Rhea laughs and says fine. She’ll win tonight, just like she did at WrestleMania. Charlotte can have all the ideas she wants, it won’t stop Rhea from going after her this Sunday. Asuka says as much in Japanese, and the two head out. Is this all the Queen’s chess game making pawns out of the Empress and Raw Women’s Champion?

 

MVP talks with Bobby Lashley backstage.

Kevin Patrick walks over for an interview. He asks that with Lashley having beaten Braun last week, what does he look to prove against McIntyre tonight? MVP says Kevin is being very rude just walking into their locker room and then asking him questions like that. Maybe Kevin missed WrestleMania 37, where Lashley proved he IS the better man. This is a sequel to a movie with a foregone conclusion. Lashley Defeats the Scottish Warrior, Part 2. But then what about Backlash? Lashley says two week sago, he said he could beat both guys 1v1. He pinned Braun, he will beat McIntyre again. So how do you think Backlash will go?

Then MVP, what about the proposition he made to Braun so that they could get rid of McIntyre and turn the Triple Threat into a singles match? MVP does not comment on business negotiations that, unlike this interview, are ongoing. So it means what you think: GO! LEAVE! Kevin does leave, but will those “negotiations” go nowhere?

 

Sheamus VS Humberto Carrillo!

The Fella has been a fighting champion who fights rather than defends his championship. But with Dale Gas always coming back for mas, will Carrillo finally bring the WWE United States Champion down a peg? Or will he just get another Brogue to the cabeza?

Raw returns and Sheamus gets a mic. There’s something missing in the little recap package of last week. Carrillo may have come out and attacked but Sheamus gave a Brogue Kick to him AND Mansoor, “two fellas who tried to take advantage of me,” and then showed how he is the “baddest fella on the planet!” Sheamus reminds us how Pearce invited Sheamus into his office to tell him the legacy of the US Championship, and how that, if Sheamus were to follow in the footsteps of the previous champions, he’d do an Open Challenge series for the title every Monday night on Raw. Why would he want to walk in the footsteps of all the has-beens? Sheamus can create a path and legacy of his own!

Those dopes in the past gave away title matches to anyone! Even that fella, Virk, who is out of depth on commentary, would have gotten a shot back in the day! But for Sheamus, you have to earn this! And if Carrillo and Mansoor think they can get their “grubby little hands” on Sheamus’ gold, they’ve got another thing coming. Both guys are so promising and talented, but they’re not on Sheamus’ level. Tonight, Carrillo will show up and try to earn this title opportunity, try and earn some respect. But the truth is, the only thing he’s gonna get is the Meme of the Weak, and a tasty Brogue upside the head! So “Dumbo” better be listening when Sheamus says come on out and get your comeuppance!

Carrillo makes his entrance and is fired up as he hits the ring. The bell rings, Sheamus pie faces but Carrillo shoves! They tie up, Sheamus headlocks and hits a takeover but Carrillo headscissors. Sheamus powers out, Carrillo headlocks but Sheamus powers out of that, too. Sheamus runs Carrillo over, things speed up again but Sheamus blocks the arm-drag to CLUB Carrillo down! Carrillo goes to a corner but gets EuroUppers! “Welcome to the big leagues, fella!” Sheamus ROCKS Carrillo, whips him to ropes, but Carrillo kicks back! Carrillo runs, springboards and flying arm-drags! Sheamsu staggers up into a dropkick!

Sheamus ends up outside the ring, he hurries to the apron, Carrillo triangle dropkicks! Carrillo runs, baseball slides, but Sheamus YANKS him down! Sheamus TOSSES Carrillo into the timekeeper’s area! The Celtic Warrior soaks up the heat from the ThunderDome screens as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Sheamus grinds Carrillo down with a chinbar. Carrillo fights up, fires forearms and CHOPS, then runs, but into a BIG back elbow! Sheamus is growing annoyed with Carrillo and he KICKS Carrillo while he’s down! Sheamus puts Carrillo through ropes for more forearms, then Beats of the Bodhrain! Carrillo flops down after Sheamus lets off, and then Sheamus stands over Carrillo to put on the Dublin Smile! The ref reprimands, Sheamus talks trash on Carrillo, but Carrillo fights up. Carrillo throws body shots and hits a jawbreaker! Sheamus staggers, gets mad, but walks into a BOOT! Carrillo runs, Sheamus Alabama lifts for an ALABAMA SLAM! Cover, TWO!

Sheamus drags Carrillo up by his face, throws body shots, fireman’s carries, then climbs up the corner! Carrillo fights and gets to the ropes, for a SUPER STEINER! Sheamus is in a daze but the look of shock is clear on his face! Sheamus goes to an apron, Carrillo hurries over. Sheamus throws a hard body shot, drags Carrillo back up but Carrillo throws back elbows over and over! Carrillo slingshots to SUNSET POWERBOMB Sheamus to the floor!! Carrillo drags himself up from having Sheamus land on him a bit, and the ring count is climbing. The ref pauses the count to check both men, and Carrillo’s leg is definitely bothering him. The ref calls an end to the match!!

Winner: Sheamus, by referee stoppage

The Celtic Warrior won more by lasting longer than by putting Carrillo away, but will Carrillo be able to come back and try again?

 

Raw takes a closer look at Lucha House Party.

You may know the names, Lince Dorado and Gran Metalik, and you may know their many, many masks. But for those who don’t, let them introduce to you who they are. They’re two men who have worked endlessly to inspire the fans and make an impression on their opponents. They’ve taken chances, made mistakes, hit some lows, but also their highs. They’ve always gotten up from getting knocked down. Life isn’t always a party, but that doesn’t stop LHP from doing what they came here to do. They’re always ready for a fight! They’re ready to show out, show off, and show you what it’s like to be #LuchaLit!

 

The #EvaLution is coming.

Eva Marie hopes she has your attention. She has thought about where she’s been, and where she’s going. There are twists and turns on the road of life, but she’s always worked to be the one in the driver’s seat. She has your attention, but she wants to be your inspiration.

 

Cedric Alexander VS Shelton Benjamin!

#PRIMED Alexander blamed the Gold Standard for their fall from grace, and now they’re fighting each other! This was a long time coming, but who comes out on top as a true survivor?

Raw returns as Benjamin makes his entrance. The bell rings, the trash talk continues, and Alexander shoves Benjamin. Benjamin swings on Alexander but Alexander ducks to get a waistlock. Benjamin elbows out, scoops Alexander, but Alexander slips out to throw a forearm! Alexander dodges, slides, and dropkicks Benjamin down! Alexander handsprings up and is fired up, then kicks Benjamin to ropes! Alexander whips, Benjamin reverses but Alexander sees the leap coming and bails out! Benjamin chases Alexander, it’s a little cat ‘n’ mouse, and Alexander gets a leg in the ropes for a DRAPING DRAGON SCREW!

Alexander grins as he watches Benjamin writhe. Alexander kicks the bad leg, gets a toehold and pulls on it, but Benjamin endures. Alexander chokes Benjamin, lets off, and Alexander argues that he was playing fair. Alexander kicks but Benjamin ROCKS him! Benjamin throws hands, Alexander body scissors and rolls Benjamin to a HEEL HOOK! Alexander keeps talking trash as Benjamin endures the leg lock! Benjamin powers up, stands over Alexander, and has the legs for a SHARPSHOOTER! Alexander scrambles to get the ropebreak! Benjamin lets go, hobbles a bit as he walks off the pain, and he comes back to throw more hands on Alexander!

Benjamin whips, Alexander reverses and dropkicks the legs out! Alexander smirks and wags his finger. Alexander dropkicks Benjamin out of the ring! Benjamin gets up, Alexander DIVES! Direct hit into barriers! Alexander keeps going, and he DIVES, into a KNEE!! Benjamin hurries in with one good leg, hobbles into position, and hits P- NO! Alexander rolls Benjamin up, TWO!! Alexander dropkicks Benjamin down, then says it’s time! Handspring and NEURALIZER! Alexander shouts right in Benjamin’s face that he’s better! HE tells commentary to tell us fans that Alexander is the best! Alexander digs his fingers into Benjamin’s face as he dares him to get up!

Alexander kicks Benjamin around, telling him to get up! Benjamin hits a T-BONE SUPLEX!! Cover, Benjamin wins!!

Winner: Shelton Benjamin, by pinfall

And THAT is why Benjamin is a survivor! Will Alexander learn a lesson from this? Will Benjamin prove he was never the weak link in the Hurt Business?

 

Drew Gulak interrupts Angel Garza’s photoshoot.

Is this a big joke to Garza? Does Garza have any respect for the profession? Or is he too busy parading around like he’s auditioning for The Bachelor? Not that anyone would accept a rose from him. What Garza did to Gulak last week has never happened in the history of the WWE, and it both embarrassed and humiliated him. What’s Gulak’s point? Gulak gets in Garza’s face and Garza asks if he wants what happened last week to happen again. It won’t happen again. Then let’s say there is a next time. Maybe next time, the rose will be shoved down Gulak’s throat instead.

 

Asuka VS Rhea Ripley!

The Empress and the Nightmare did question how this match came to be, and clearly the answer is Charlotte Flair. But will that matter when these two are going to tear into each other in a WrestleMania 37 rematch?

Raw returns and Rhea makes her entrance. The bell rings, Asuka and Rhea circle, tie up, and go around. Rhea puts Asuka on ropes, but Asuka turns it around, only for Rhea to turn it back around. Rhea messes up Asuka’s hair before letting off. They go again, Asuka gets around but Rhea avoids the back hand! Rhea goes to ropes for defense and Asuka stays back. Rhea grins, blocks the back and and ROCKS Asuka, then dares her to take a shot. Asuka sweeps the legs! And basement dropkicks! Rhea gets up, Asuka is after her with TOSS! Asuka tries again but Rhea blocks to throw her instead! Rhea seethes, runs corner to corner, but dodges a kick! Asuka ducks a haymaker to ROCK Rhea!

Asuka BOOTS Rhea, drop toeholds but Rhea stays on her feet! Rhea stomps Asuka’s legs, drags her up, but Asuka throws Rhea for an ARMBAR! Rhea scrambles and gets a ropebreak! Asuka lets go, but chases after Rhea on the outside. Rhea goes into the ring, Asuka avoids the stomp and drags Rhea back out. Asuka spins Rhea on the apron but Rhea avoids the hip attack to WRECK her with a dropkick! Rhea goes out, bumps Asuka off the apron, but here comes Charlotte! The Queen distracts the champ and Asuka BACK HANDS Rhea down! Charlotte continues to strut down to ringside, saying she’s just here to watch, as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Asuka endures Rhea’s body scissor squeeze. Charlotte has joined commentary while Asuka fights the hold. Charlotte confirms she came up with this match idea because she loves seeing these two in action. Asuka powers back to a cover, ONE! Rhea dropkicks Asuka right down! Rhea sneers at Charlotte, drags Asuka up and bumps her off buckles. Rhea RAMS into Asuka again and again, digs her shoulder in and lets off as the ref counts. Rhea pie faces Asuka, puts her through the ropes and chokes her! The ref counts, Rhea stops, and Charltote is ignoring Rhea as she talks to Byron Saxton about haters gonna hate.

Rhea kicks Asuka’s leg, Charlotte says this title match at Backlash is because of her in the first place. Rhea grinds Asuka down, kicks her around, but Asuka kicks back. Rhea drags Asuka up to HEADBUTT her down! Asuka grits her teeth but Rhea reels her in for a LARIAT! And another! Asuka avoids the third, but Rhea reverses the reversal, and blocks a Code Breaker to BOOT Asuka down! Rhea and Asuka go outside, Rhea bumps Asuka off the apron then Electric Chair lifts. Asuka hops off to the apron to mule kick back! SLIDING KICK! Asuka fires up, puts Rhea in at 7 of 10 and hurries in after to cover. TWO, but Asuka drags Rhea up to chicken wing an arm!

Rhea resists the Asuka Lock and throws Asuka out of the ring! Asuka staggers towards commentary and notices Charlotte. Charlotte waves at her, Asuka talks trash, but Rhea HEADBUTTS Asuka down! Charlotte applauds Rhea being an opportunist and learning from the best, aka Charlotte. Rhea puts Asuka in, drags her back up, and fires off forearms! Asuka forearms, Rhea back elbows! Asuka gets up, Rhea NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEXES! Bridging cover, TWO!! Asuka survives and Rhea is frustrated. Rhea pump handles, lifts, but no Riptide, CODE BREAKER! Asuka and Rhea are both down, Asuka crawls to a cover, TWO!

Rhea crawls out of the ring but Asuka follows her back out. Charlotte praises how tough both women are, but then she stares down with Rhea. “You wanna go?” Asuka runs on the desk to HIP ATTACK Rhea! Asuka puts Rhea in, climbs up top, missile dropkick! Cover, TWO! Asuka sees Rhea get to a corner, runs in, HIP- NO! Rhea catches! Asuka elbows free but Rhea ROUNDHOUSES! RIPTIDE!! Cover, Rhea wins!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall

The Raw Women’s Champion wins against Asuka again, and Charlotte applauds. Will this all be playing into the Queen’s hand? Or will Rhea wreck the wrestling royals to stay on top?

 

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre.

Kevin asks McIntyre if he can shed some light on how he went after both Lashley and Braun at the end of last week’s Raw. Well he had no intention of getting involved last week, until Braun decided to get his putrid, disgusting hands all over him. And it wasn’t McIntyre’s fault Lashley nearly cut Braun in half with the Spear. But it was McIntyre’s fault that he put both down with Claymores. And as for MVP’s proposition, if it happens, he is toast. No one man can withstand an onslaught of both Lashley and Braun.

But McIntyre can’t worry about that now. He has to focus on Lashley. Tonight, McIntyre will do what he didn’t at WrestleMania 37 and that is connect with a Claymore to Lashley’s head. Then on Sunday, McIntyre will once again become WWE World Champion!

 

Damian Priest VS John Morrison w/ The Miz!

The Archer of Infamy has already beaten the Greatest Tag Team of the 21st Century together, separately, alternatingly, and frequently. But if he beats the Guru of Greatness again, he gets to decide how he beats The Hollywood A-Lister at Backlash! Will Priest hit the lights on Johnny Drip Drip? Or will things finally go Morrison’s way so that The Miz can have his way?

Raw returns and Priest makes his entrance. The bell rings, the two circle, and Morrison gets through Priest’s dukes to ROCK him with a forearm! But Priest comes back to shove Morrison to a corner! Priest fires off big hands, the ref counts and Priest lets off with a stomp. Priest CLUBS Morrison down, drags him back up, and whips him corner to corner hard! Morrison staggers into a SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO! Priest clamps onto Morrison with an armlock and grinds the shoulder. Priest also has a chinbar, Miz says Priest is cheating somehow, but Morrison gets up to get the ropebreak. The ref counts, Priest lets off as Miz barks about ropes, but Morrison whips to KNEE Priest low!

Morrison wrenches Priest’s arm, spins around and drags Priest down to the ground for some ground ‘n’ pound! Priest throws Morrison away but Morrison cartwheels right back to KNEE Priest down! Cover, TWO! Morrison clamps on with a chinlock and Miz talks trash on Priest. Priest endures as Morrison grinds him down. Miz says this is Tropical Storm Johnny Drip Drip! Priest fights up, powers Morrison into the corner, but Morrison holds on! Priest RAMS the corner again, is free, and he ROCKS Morrison with an uppercut! Priest whips corner to corner, runs in, but Morrison slides out to avoid the elbow!

Priest still elbows Morrison on the apron, but Morrison cartwheels to avoid the leg sweep! Morrison KICKS Priest in the face, Priest swings back but Morrison evades. Morrison evades again as Priest kicks, and Priest is stuck on the ropes for Morrison to EDDY GORDO KICK! Morrison springboards, but into a choke grip! Morrison gets free with his parkour style side flip, but he staggers a bit on the landing. Priest pops Morrison up to ROCK him with a right! Miz panics as Priest covers, ROPEBREAK! Morrison survives and Miz gets him out of the ring for a breather. Morrison is understandably dazed, but Priest goes out to get him up and into the ring.

Miz is mad and he talks trash on Priest. The ref counts, Miz is trying to distract Priest so that he misses it, and Raw goes to break as the two stand off.

Raw returns once again and Priest throws hands on Morrison. Priest whips to hit a leaping back elbow! Cover, TWO! Miz is relieved but he keeps talking trash to Priest. Priest gets Morrison up but Morrison ROCKS him, then clotheslines him out of the ring! The ref and Morrison argue, Miz BOOTS Priest down! Miz mockingly asks if Priest is alright as Morrison goes out. Morrison KICKS Priest around, Miz claims it’s slippery at ringside. Morrison puts Priest in, cover, ONE!! Morrison keeps on Priest with a chinlock but Priest fights up to throw body shots. Priest deflects Morrison’s kick with a kick, but Morrison comes back to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Cover, TWO!

Miz keeps talking trash on Priest, “Put him in a body bag, Johnny!” Get it? Morrison flips over for a modified Chancery on Priest, and Miz mockingly asks if it hurts. Fans rally, Priest fights up, and Priest powers out of the hold to BELL CLAP! ROUNDHOUSE! WHEEL KICK! Both men are down, but Priest gets up first. Morrison gets up to get KICK after KICK after KICK! ROLLING ELBOW! Priest runs in to back elbow in a corner! Then, BROKEN ARROW! Cover, TWO! Morrison survives but Priest goes to the top rope. Miz distracts for a moment, Morrison ROCKS Priest with a forearm! Morrison climbs up, Miz claps for him, but Priest resists the Super Spanish Fly with elbows!

Priest shoves Morrison down hard! Priest adjusts, leaps, FLYING WHEEL KICK! Cover, TWO!! Morrison survives and Miz is starting to panic a bit more. Priest snarls as he watches Morrison stand. Choke grip to SOUTH OF HEAVEN- NO! Body scissors to a victory roll, TWO!! Priest kicks Morrison’s leg before the knee strike! Priest scoops Morrison to the dragon sleeper, but Miz distracts the ref! Morrison snapmares free, ghost pins, but the ref is late to the count! TWO!! Miz realizes he cost Morrison again! Priest CLOBBERS Morrison, drags him up, and HIT THE LIGHTS!! Cover, Priest wins!

Winner: Damian Priest, by pinfall

Miz attacks! Priest may get the prize of choosing their stipulation, but Miz won’t let Priest feel good about it! SKULL- NO! Priest breaks the full nelson to shove Miz to ropes! Miz bails out to avoid the kick and runs for the hills! Priest drags Morrison up, for another HIT THE LIGHTS!! One down, one to go, and Priest has six days to decide how he seals Miz’s fate!

 

Braun finds Lashley and MVP backstage.

The two titans stare down, but they don’t say a word as Raw goes to break. Is Braun here to accept or decline MVP’s offer?

 

The #EvaLution reaches another level.

“I’ve finally reached a point in my life where I can say I’ve made it. I have seen levels of fame and fortune I could never have imagined at the beginning of my career. Some may see me as a super model, but I like to see myself as a super role model.” She has everything she’s ever wanted, and wants to see others achieve their dreams. But you have to put in the work. It takes 99 bad ones to get the right shot. Nothing’s perfect, but anything’s possible.

 

Priest meets with Pearce.

Seems the gamble paid off. Damn right! And Priest knows the stipulation he wants now! A Lumberjack Match! Okay, but why that? You saw what Miz was doing out there, right? Like he does every single time! Miz runs away. Priest will give Miz nowhere to run. You can bring superstars from Raw, from SmackDown, hell you can even bring zombies, aliens and whatever else. It doesn’t matter, because this Sunday, Miz has nowhere to run, and he will be dealt with. Then consider it done. Priest and Pearce shake on it, but is this truly going to be what ends things between him and the A-Lister?

 

Bobby Lashley w/ MVP VS Drew McIntyre!

WrestleMania 37 went the All Mighty’s way thanks to one little misstep from the Scottish Warrior. But McIntyre vows to stay laser focused on Lashley this time. Will McIntyre make up for Mania and get momentum going into Backlash? Or is there no stopping the Rocky Mountain Machine now?

Raw returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. He and Lashley stare down but the ref has them wait for the bell. The bell rings, and Lashley avoids a boot to go for the full nelson! McIntyre holds that off, Lashley gets a leg and trips McIntyre to a cover, ONE! Lashley headlocks, McIntyre fights up but can’t power out as Lashley holds tight. McIntyre pries at the hold, Lashley cranks it back on. McIntyre suplexes Lashley tot he apron but Lashley still holds on! The ref counts because this is a ropebreak situation, but Lashley hotshots McIntyre! Lashley gets in to run and RAM McIntyre into a corner! Lashley hits a NECKBREAKER! MVP says to punish McIntyre!

Lashley chokes McIntyre on ropes, the ref counts and Lashley lets off at 4. Braun is watching backstage as Lashley throws elbows into McIntyre. Lashley digs his elbow in, the ref counts but Lashley stops at 4. Lashley chokes McIntyre, throws more elbows, even haymakers, but McIntyre turns things around to fire off a windmill of haymakers! The ref counts, McIntyre backs off but Lashley kicks low to throw more forearms! Lashley goes side to side but McIntyre BOOTS him down! McIntyre shakes out the cobwebs, goes out after Lashley, but Lashley elbows him away. Lashley runs in, but into an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! McIntyre stands and looms over Lashley as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns once more and McIntyre fires off hands and stomps in the corner! McIntyre stands Lashley up to CHOP him! McIntyre whips corner to corner, Lashley reverses and runs in, but McIntyre elbows back! McIntyre hops up but Lashley YANKS him down! McIntyre writhes but Lashley runs over to hit a COMPLETE SHOT! Cover, TWO! Lashley rains down fists and clamps on a chinlock. McIntyre endures as Lashley squeezes tight. Fans rally up, McIntyre fights up, and McIntyre throws body shots to get free. McIntyre CHOPS, runs, but Lashley follows. Lashley gets around, kicks low, reels McIntyre in, but McIntyre blocks the suplex to hit the suplex!

Both men are down, MVP shouts at Lashley to get up. Lashley crawls to a corner, stands up, and McIntyre runs in, but into BOOTS! Lashley looms over McIntyre, stomps him, then digs his forearms into McIntyre’s face. The ref counts, Lashley lets off to then dig his boots in! The ref counts again, Lashley lets off, and MVP reminds Lashley to be careful about the count. Lashley gets McIntyre up on the apron, runs, and BLASTS McIntyre off to the floor! A ring count starts now but Lashley won’t settle for that. Lashley goes out, brings McIntyre up for forearms, and bumps McIntyre off the apron. Lashley goes into the ring, McIntyre drags himself up the apron, and Lashley hotshots him again!

Lashley goes back out to bring McIntyre around to fireman’s carry. Lashley runs and POSTS McIntyre!! McIntyre is dazed, Lashley high-fives MVP, and MVP says to finish this. Lashley puts McIntyre in, aims from a corner with a grin, and McIntyre stands. Lashley runs in but McIntyre HIP TOSSES him into the corner!! Both men are down again and MVP coaches Lashley back up. McIntyre throws forearms, Lashley throws them back! They brawl from the mat to their feet! Lashley gets the edge, whips, but McIntyre reverses to OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! And another! Lashley staggers, swings, but McIntyre hits a NECKBREAKER!

McIntyre kips up and fires up! McIntyre reels Lashley in, underhooks, but Lashley fights out of Future Shock! He gets a GLASGOW KISS instead! MVP warns Lashley with banging on steps, but McIntyre turns Spear into SPINEBUSTER! Jackknife cover, TWO!! Lashley survives, gets back up, but now McIntyre is aiming from a corner! But Lashley CROSSBODIES before the Claymore can take off! Lashley has the arms, HURT LOCK! No, McIntyre is holding it off as much as he can! Lashley throws knees, then he THROWS Lashley! CLAYMORE OUTTA NOWHERE!! But here comes BRAAAAUN~!

The Monster Among Men distracts McIntyre with his music, to attack from the other side!!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by disqualification

MONSTER SLAM for McIntyre!! Is Braun taking MVP up on that offer after all?! But then Braun looks at Lashley. Braun offers Lashley a hand?! He helps Lashley to his feet, and Lashley pats him on the shoulder. They hug, but Braun scoops Lashley for a MONSTER SLAM!! MVP is freaking out, but clearly that’s a “no” to the plan! Braun gets McIntyre up for another MONSTER SLAM!! MVP gets Lashley out of the ring but that doesn’t mean he’s safe! Braun snatches MVP’s cane away and tells him he has to watch what’s gonna happen! Braun scoops Lashley, to MONSTER SLAM him through barriers!!

Braun goes back to the ring where McIntyre crawls over. Braun says he doesn’t side with anyone! HE’S THE MONSTER!! Braun scoops McIntyre up again, for ANOTHER MONSTER SLAM!! Braun roars and ThunderDome is roaring, too! Will Braun finally #GetTheseHands on THE WWE World Championship?!


My Thoughts:

What a great go-home Raw! IS WHAT I WOULD BE SAYING, if not for Go-Home Syndrome striking again. We got way too many recap videos for the history between McIntyre, Lashley and Braun throughout the night that were supposed to hype up tonight’s main event and Sunday’s Triple Threat. We also got too many commercial breaks. You can count this yourself but I typed “Raw returns and” 13 times, which feels like 5 times too many. What happened to Raw doing picture in picture? That would really help the flow of things because we’d still get to see matches during.

And can Raw not remember how to go to commercial without someone distracting someone else? Alexa Bliss showing up to mess with the six women in the Six Woman Tag completely killed the momentum of that match. We should’ve gotten Asuka trying to get Charlotte to participate, only for Charlotte to wait for when Asuka isn’t in the match. Asuka was only shown in the match twice! She started, and she finished! And do we really need Alexa to be the one who “interfered” with her powers? Alexa could’ve waited until we saw who won, she could use a promo to tease who she’s going after, the show flows better.

Then, while Rhea VS Asuka tonight was a very good match, it felt like copy and paste of the WWE World Championship build. But at the same time, Charlotte of course would want to pit them against each other. It would seem odd if she didn’t want to use the same tactics she sees from the men’s title scene, but it all just seemed forced into this episode because they didn’t pace this story properly. Asuka won and Charlotte lost the Six Woman Tag, Rhea won the 1v1, so the math comes out to be in Charlotte’s favor, but Alexa might be targeting her. I have a feeling Charlotte wins at Backlash, Alexa starts chasing her on the way to MITB.

I will say that Priest VS Morrison tonight, even with Miz being the “distraction so we can go to break” guy, was a very good match. Those two should’ve been the ones having a PPV match to have room to breathe, but I suppose a Lumberjack match is fine. Morrison can still be ringside for Miz, but I have a feeling this has to be the night Morrison and Miz break up. There are opportunities in this match for Morrison to do something that helps Miz and he chooses not to because of how Miz’s help screwed him over. Then we can get Miz VS Morrison, and I hope Morrison wins that so he can get into the US Championship scene.

Speaking of, Carrillo VS Sheamus was going so well, but I have a feeling that stoppage was real. The mistiming on the Sunset Powerbomb off the apron that resulted in Sheamus landing on Carrillo’s legs, it’s a shame. Hopefully Carrillo is alright, and I’m surprised we didn’t see Mansoor show up to flip things from last week. Maybe things build for Mansoor and Carrillo on the road to Money in the Bank, and one or both get a match with Sheamus. Mahal’s return to Raw was nice, and they established for us that Mahal has new henchmen, and getting a win off Hardy was good, but I feel like this could’ve waited until next week to get them all on the road to MITB.

The 8 Man Tag was also a lot of fun, even the backstage promos before it. I like the detail of Orton backing down from trying to RKO Omos. I wonder if Orton can even jump high enough to RKO Omos when he’s standing. It makes sense that the Faces would win, they are the ones who will get a title shot against Styles & Omos down the line, because that’s how almost everyone does wrestling. Orton hitting RKO’s on the New Day but not Riddle was also a bit telling in this story. Orton is willing to tolerate Riddle and stay a team since they’re still winning, but he doesn’t care about anyone else outside of that. This could be a point of dysfunction for RKBRO and the reason they break up, really adding some depth to the story.

Garza’s story on Raw has only just started, and I feel it’s already really weak. This started because Gulak mocked him for his failed romances, but I just feel this isn’t how something on Raw should be. From what I’m hearing about WWE Main Event on Hulu (which shouldn’t be on Hulu anymore, should be first on Peacock and WWE Network), Ricochet VS Mustafa Ali the sequel feud has been awesome. THAT should be on Raw. Ali and Ricochet can give us awesome matches worth filling three hours on Raw without even trying, except it’s WWE creative that isn’t trying! These two should be in the mix with Carrillo for the US Championship.

And then in the world title story, we got another great main event match, and Braun got to look like his old self again, but I don’t think any of it saved the show. MVP trying to make a deal with Braun so that Lashley could have an easier time is a logical move, and Braun swerving Lashley with it was also a logical move. But Braun standing tall tonight would make it seem like Lashley retains. I did wonder where T-Bar and Mace were tonight. Are they on Braun’s side after all? Will they show up during the Triple Threat to tip things in his favor? That could be something that makes Backlash a bit more memorable than just being a lazy copy-paste PPV.

My Score: 8/10


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Mitchell’s ROH Death Before Dishonor Results & Report! (7/26/24)

YEEHAW!

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The word of the day is, “Gold!”

ROH brings Death Before Dishonor to Texas, and makes it bigger than ever! SIX championship matches, how drastically will the landscape change?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Zero Hour – MXM Collection VS Spanish Announce Project; wins.
  • Komander VS The Beast Mortos; wins.
  • Texas Deathmatch: Leyla Hirsch VS Diamante; wins.
  • ROH World Six Man Tag Team Championship Qualifier: Dustin Rhodes & The Von Erichs VS The Dark Order; wins and advances to Battle of the Belts 11.
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships: The Kingdom VS Tomohiro Ishii & Kyle O’Reilly; win(s) and
  • ROH World Television Championship Survival of the Fittest: Atlantis Jr. VS Lio Rush VS Shane Taylor VS Johnny TV VS Lee Johnson VS Brian Cage; wins and
  • ROH Pure Championship: Wheeler Yuta VS Lee Moriarty; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Television Championship: Billie Starkz VS Red Velvet; wins and
  • ROH Women’s World Championship: Athena VS Queen Aminata; wins and
  • ROH World Championship: Mark Briscoe VS Roderick Strong; wins and

PLAY BY PLAY

[Due to scheduling conflicts, coverage will be on delay]


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 7.25.2024

Slammiversary Fallout! Where do things go on the way to Victory Road?

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Well now we start the fall out of Slammiversary. Josh Alexander in his bad bitch summer, X-Speedball legacy, ABC got the t-a-g and Jordynne is still in charge of the Knockouts division. Like I said at the end of Slammiversary, all of the champions being Babyfaces is stupid. They need to drop a couple titles fairly quickly, because I don’t care what some people say, Nic Nemeth ain’t gonna bring any eyes to the brand. He’s about as hot as day old Hamburger Helper over a camping sterno.

We’ll probably open with the luke warm champion, so tune in like 10 minutes late for anything of substance to be happen.

https://x.com/i/status/1816629254349533588

Ratings:

  • Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner: Maclin wins via KIA – *
  • AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan: AJ wins via Down Payment – **
  • Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young): Hammer Your ASH wins via Torture Rack – ** 1/2
  • The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): Broken Alphabet wins via Twist & Splash – ***

 

Results:

Nemeth gives the ole “I’ll be a fighting champion…blah blah” promo and drops the “any company” line that we’ve already understood what that means. Campaign Singh cuts him off…and I never thought I’d be happy for Campaign Singh to walk out and say anything…ever. And…Mustafa’s promo is worse than Dolph’s. He’s gone from parody to caricature even saying “it was the biggest screw job Montreal ever saw”. Like some of these lines are cheap heat, but most are just brain dead comments that wouldn’t get a reaction out of anyone (and the crowd was silent for that comment). Mustafa gets caught in an Archer “phrasing” moment about getting screwed hard, but this is painful. Promos written by 14 year olds everyone…

This ends with Ali challenging Nemeth for the World Title. While I’m not against walk up challenges, I watch Japanese wrestling, I don’t really get the point aside from doing it just to do it. 

ABC and Matt Hardy have a small promo, and I’m still not really a fan of Unbroken Matt Version 6.0. The floating between Broken voice and his normal voice sounds amateurish.

OH LOOK, finally a match 20 minutes into the show. And it’s my son Steve Maclin! OH CHRIST he’s facing Deaner. This has been 25 minutes of talking followed by the worst god damn attempt at a gimmick. Deaner’s little “Papa Santino told me I can wipe my ass only if the crowd agrees”. This gimmick should die in a fire.

Steve Maclin vs Cody Deaner

Deaner started off quick because Maclin was in disbelief that Deaner was actually gonna fight him. Maclin dodges a Crossbody, Busaiku Knee, and just starts beating on Deaner for fun. And this is fun, maybe Maclin can make sure Deaner gets stretchered out and written off forever. How do you call for an ambulance in French? Maclin with the old Back Breaker into a stretch. Deaner tries to nerd rage up, breaks the Back Breaker Stretch, his punch combo, into a Manhattan Drop and Bulldog. Deaner hits the Crossbody, but Maclin kicks out. This is entirely too competitive.

Deaner goes for the Deaner DDT, blocked, Olympic Slam into Splashing Deaner into the corner, Caught in the Crosshairs, K-I-A, thanks for coming you damn dweeb. Stay in Canada and don’t travel Deaner, please.

https://x.com/i/status/1816633784537874761

AJ Francis w/Rich Swann & Josh Bishop vs Sami Callihan

As the bell sounds, Sami knocks Rich off the apron, Low Bridges AJ, does the Beats of the Bodhran on AJ and then AJ eats the offense and strategizes with his crew. Bishop and Rich swarm the ring, Sami allows himself to get distracted so AJ slides in and starts beating on Sami. AJ throats Sami across the middle rope and Rich makes his presence felt, AJ distracts the referee and Rich gets in a lot of cheap shots. Bishop throws Sami back in the ring, and AJ keeps up the pressure. Lots of 5 count chokes and leverage moves. After the commercial break ends, Sami dodges a Tennessee Whiskey Knee, gets in a few shots before Rich trips Sami as he’s setting up a Dive, and then AJ takes advantage of the position and hits the goofball knee strike.

AJ calls for his Chokeslam, Sami tries to break it with Axe Handles, then claws the eyes. Sami goes for a Scoop Slam, gets him part way up and then falls over. AJ Chokeslam again, but he bites his hand and starts fighting back. Launches himself at AJ, sends him bouncing off the ropes and uses the momentum to hit that Scoop Slam that was teased earlier. Sami goes for a Western Lariat but eats a Big Boot. AJ does a little Hulk Hogan pose to signal a Leg Drop, but Sami dodges and then connects on a Sliding Lariat. Thumbs Up, Thumbs….interference. Rich distracts the ref, Bishop lays out Sami, AJ connects with the Down Payment.

Hammer Your ASH (ASH by Elegance & Alexander Hammerstone) vs JuggerYoung (Jordynne Grace & Eric Young)

ASH and Jordynne exchange slaps and then Jordynne starts to out muscle ASH. Spinebuster from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights off, rope run, Sattelite DDT into both tagging out. EY does the Flair corner flop, slides back in between Hammer’s legs, and connects on a Neckbreaker. EY is the quicker of the two, but Hammer finally gets his hands on him and a Release Belly to Belly into a full mount raining of fists, then a near fall. Hammer smashes EY in a corner, Arm Wringer into an Irish Whip across, but EY moves and Hammer tags out to ASH. ASH levels Jordynne, peppers EY with a few shots and pulls him back to their corner and starts some tandem offense with Hammerman. Hammer Guerilla Presses ASH and throws her into EY for a near fall. Hammer looks to aim for either a Powerbomb or Nightmare Pendulum, but EY drops it into a Small Package, pinfall kick out, they both run, Double Lariat spot. The Knockouts get tagged in.

Jordynne is in control early, World’s Strongest Slam into a Vader Bomb. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but ASH fights it off and tags out to Hammer. Jordynne and EY do some schoolyard stuff with the old Push while Jordynne is down to trip Hammer. All four get in, ASH gets leveled, EY gets leveled, Hammer and Jordynne have a brief face off, but Hammer throws Jordynne to the apron and ASH connects with a Meteora from the apron. Death Valley Driver from Young on Hammer, ASH stares in shock, EY tells her to get, ASH runs away. EY goes up for his Macho Elbow, and ASH causes him to fall to Hammer’s feet, Torture Rack, and EY submits.

Josh Alexander comes out, with new heel music. And it’s not that bad, definitely better than some other people’s new music. Josh yells at the crowd a bit, says he can’t wait til he’s back in a real Canadian town, like his home of Toronto. Then he drops the mic in lieu of an explanation. The crowd chants him off with the “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey”. 

https://x.com/i/status/1816647373654724937

The System (Eddie Edwards, Brian Myers & JDC) w/Alisha Edwards vs Matt Hardy & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

JDC and Hardy start, but JDC quickly tags out to Myers and that doesn’t go well. Hardy grabs a hold of Myers, a few Delete chops, drags him to his corner and they all get in a few shots punctuated with Hardy getting tagged back in and an Elbow into Myers’ extended and worked on left arm. Myers stays isolated, back into the corner, Boot to the gut, Ace tags in and wallops Myers. Ace connects on Double Kicks, into Russian Leg Sweep and his half of Click Click Boom, for a 2 count. Myers finally gets free with a Jaw Breaker and tags out to Eddie. But The System gets no momentum, Ace stifles Eddie’s offense and starts a few quick tags with him and Bey for tandem offense. Moose finally comes down the ramp as Eddie kicked out of yet another pinfall attempt because The System has had nothing going for them. Eddie finally gets some offense since Moose was a big enough distraction.

Eddie thinks they have a spot, so he tags back in JDC, but The ABC stop him cold, tag in Matt Hardy, and Matt walks down JDC, but JDC Low Bridges. Matt is on the outside, so all of The System surrounds Hardy, then Joe Hendry’s music hits! That stops the heel beatdown, and we follow Hendry’s entire entrance. So that proves Hendry is bigger than the 8 other people in this frame. Not really sure if that’s optics you want to push along. Ace and JDC try to remind people there’s wrestling going on, but JDC thumbs the eye to get a little something going. Vertical Suplex for a near fall, tag out for Eddie and Eddie lights up Ace with some of those NOAH Chops. Ace retreats to the ropes and Alisha chokes him with the ropes while the ref is distracted.

Myers gets tagged in, Ace tries to use the crowd energy, Myers stops it at first but then Ace slips a Scoop Slam and tags out to Bey. Hot tag, strike rush, Double Stomp, educated feet, Leap Frog to the corner but Lish climbs on the apron and yells at Bey which stops his rhythm. Myers kicks his feet out and causes Bey to crash. Eddie tags in for a few shots, then to JDC and Slingshot Knees, Wringer Snapmare, Bow and Arrow Submission, and JDC is just doing solid wrestling work right now. Uppercut between the Shoulder Blades as Bey tries to get out, tag to Myers and Bey is still eating offense. Eddie tags in, Bey tries the Sunset Flip, but Eddie tags out before going over, so Myers folds up Bey for a near fall and then tags out to JDC who connects on a Standing Suplex, slams Bey’s face into the corner, Eddie tags in, and Bey finally fights up to his feet, Eddie just flatten Bey’s comeback, tries a Tiger Driver but eats an Enzuigiri for a simultaneous tag. JDC and Hardy come in, JDC tries to exit halfway in, but Hardy is wrecking shop. He disposes of Eddie, Myers slides in but eats a tandem Neckbreaker/DDT from Hardy. Face team does the Delete Corner Face Smashes. Poetry in Motion into a Side Effect into Corkscrew Swanton for only 2 since Myers breaks it up! Everyone throwing hands, referee is distracted, Moose comes in to Spear Hardy, but Hardy dodges and throws him into JDC (I get the call back), Hendry then lays out Moose with the big Lariat. Twist of Fate from Hardy, Splash from Bey, Broken Alphabet wins!

 

Overall Score: 4/10

Ugh, cliche promos, too damn much talking, a competitive squash match with an imbecile as our first “match”, into an overbooked and slow heel match, finally a decent tag match (with the right team going over), into another overbooked match with a “tease” for the mystery backup being more obvious than Jericho’s WWF debut.

Aside from the afore mentioned tag match, The Rascalz promo and The System Promo; this was hard to watch. A lot of cornball promos, Rosemary licks her conspiracy board, storylines got zero traction. Whoopity Doo, Ryan Nemeth got a match next week and we get an undead wedding.

While this was a bad episode, it was bad by at least new standards. We’re not back in the TNA Dark Days again, but this was…a useless show.


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